Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!
F**k talking about WWE right now, it was wack last week. Like Matt Hardy, DELETE LAST WEEK’S BLODCLART!
Let’s talk about the YOU – EFF – CEE! Holy smokes! It was a lot better than the card on paper word up. Michelle Waterson & Tecia Torres – OWWWWWW! You two would get it. They opened the show, good fight. Then Alvarez Vs Gaethje SMASHED IT. Gaethje had the match won, but Alvarez… MAXIMUM RESPECT to him. Let’s skip the third fight because let’s be real, they knew they couldn’t follow that match. Then Overeem Vs Ngannou – The Sean Price Punch heard around the world – GOOD LORD! Sean Price would be so proud! Even I turned it into a meme! I DON’T MAKE MEMES! And Max Holloway Vs Jose Aldo… I like Aldo but he was outclassed here…
REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like Alistair Overeem… That is all!
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RAW 1280! EXCITE ME! HAVE STEPHANIE SUFFER A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION! LET XAVIER WOODS INVADE RAW DURING PAIGE’S MATCH DO SOMETHING!
Survival kit: Spicy Black pepper crisps, Jaffa Cakes and Drinking chocolate… do you think that’s smart on my part???
And the booing has begun against Jason Jordan! I’m waiting for the crowd to start showing signs saying ‘Die Jason Die’!
I see someone in the crowd with a ‘Paige Marry Me’ sign…you sir have no taste in women, she is a dutty whore, she gives her pu$$y away, and well, if you want to contract aids I guess that’s up to you!
Well Double R did tell Jason Jordan to step up and take the opportunity! And Double J responded with a belly to belly to Double R! I guess NOW he has the big dog’s attention!
Gotta say Jason Jordan is GOING IN against Double R!
Look at Samoa Joe doing the knowledge! Aaaah man!
I’m telling you right now – This Jason Jordan dude – if he keeps this sh!t going – he gonna be champion in 18 months time. This match kinda reminds me of The Rock Vs Kurt Angle back in 2000 and The Rock put him over… you see what I’m saying?
Oh no! Samoa Joe gonna finish the job on a mash-up Double R but Jason Jordan intervened with a suplex to Samoa Joe! But why did Double R drop superman punch to Jordan? Oh yeah – he’s not a good guy, he’s not a bad guy, he’s THE GUY!
WHAT A LYRIC! “Like Father Like Son right Kurt?!” Oh snap! making reference to the TNA days!
This ugly rarse… I hope Sasha Banks busses up her clart… but while Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville are at ringside… I’m not sure Sasha can win… unless Mickie James and Bayley steps in… and remember now – they haven’t troubled Nia Jax… or Asuka!
Oh snap! Sasha has brought her back up so that there is no teefing! The girl who is nice to look at but an ugly attitude – Yes I’m talking about Alexa Blitch – is on commentary. I just want Absolution to rush Alexa and beat up her blodclart!
COME ON SASHA! Kick down this b!tch! Talking about its ‘her house’ but you’re THE BOSS LADY! You represent HIP HOP! Don’t let Snoop Dogg be disappointed that you lost to someone who likes death metal!
Damnit! Sasha hit the Bank Statement but Paige reached the ropes! Absolution was ready to teef but Mandy and Sonya were still too strong! Paige recovers and drops the Ram-Paige – BLAOW!
I never noticed this but Sonya – you got no t!tt!£$! You got two backs! Oh no! Well you are getting that WWE money now – upgrade a cup size!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ELIAS!!! For the first time – he made me laugh! He told Kurt Angle to put away his cell phone and hold his applause until he has finished! What if that was a McMahon on the phone!
Wicked wow – watch out now – Machine Gun Kelly is performing at Tribute To The Troops… well I won’t be watching that sh!t – CALLING KEVIN OWENS! SORT HIM OUT!
WTF?????? Nia Jax wants a piece of Enzo Amore? WHAT IS THIS? No no no this is not allowed! Shad get in there DO SOMETHING!
You know Shad gonna have MAJOR BEEF with Kevin Dunn & creative now!
Suddenly I’m not interested in this cruiserweight match – I wanna know wha’gwarn with Nia and Enzo! HAHAHA this is gonna be great!
That’s the second time Elias has made me laugh! Did he just point out Machine Gun Kelly and say –‘no one knows who you are’?! FANTASTIC! Respect points gone up!
OH NO! I don’t think Braun Strowman likes that tune! BRAAUUUUUUUUUN!!!!
Elias run garne!!!! Wait there – maybe not – what was he thinking attacking Strowman from behind?
He busted his guitar over Strowman and it had no effect! That time he tried to run and he got ketch! Running powerslam – BLAOW!
I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!
HOLD UP – My hero Kane is back! His crushed larynx has recovered!
He says they gonna clash next week… but where’s the stipulation at? Buried alive? Inferno? Even Mike Cole is asking!
Is Alicia Fox ready for Asuka? I dunno… she isn’t all there in her head!
The real question is – Is Asuka ready for the Infamous Informer?? Hey Asuka – Wait til you see my Heihachi Mishima sword!
Oh no – these three idiots again… and it hurts me to say that about Sonya and Mandy…
They gonna kill Foxy! Ah well… I’m gonna miss her…
Paige loves Alicia… NO YOU DON’T…
Alicia – your legs did not run like last time! They turned into jelly and sh!t!
“The ramblings of a mad man…” I can’t believe Bray Wyatt said that about #Woken Matt Hardy… what de rarse?!!!! So hold up – he’s gonna delete Bray Wyatt? He might as well – Wyatt ain’t done sh!t!
Apologies for not writing about the Tag Team Championship main event… I’m just waiting for the finish…
Sheamus TEEEEEEF! The Shield had the match won! But Sheamus deliberately got The Bar disqualified! But Kurt said – NOT SO EASY! YOU MUST RESTART! Now it’s a NO DQ match! That fool Booker-T doesn’t agree – but they ARE THE BAR right?
Samoa Joe – TEEF!!! He attacked The Shield for no reason! Double R came down to even the odds but by then it was already too late!
A better effort than last week… well done guys, still not up there with recent weeks, but put it this way – I didn’t find my bed halfway through…
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.