Tag Archives: Smack Talk Centre RAW

Monday Night Raw #1291, February 19, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

WE want the brand extension!

WE want fewer pay per views!

WE want Cesaro to be champion!

Combined WWE PPV

Too bad you can’t have it all eh?

GRANT BODY-P!

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Screenshot-2018-2-19 Dana Brooke WWE ( DanaBrookeWWE) Twitter

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RAW 1291! Chamber Music, F**k!n the party up!

I don’t know about you but this Hardy Vs Wyatt thing – it needs a little extra something… yes they have clashed, yes they have both chatted sh!t… it needs to go to that next level for me to be re-invested… whatever Matt was doing in the TNA joint – bring that sh!t here and make it 10x better!

“What is so special about Ronda Rousey is – she’s an attraction…” In more ways than one eh Charlotte?!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Aaah sheeeeeeet they showing footage of Ronda practicing her wrestling moves! UH-OH!!! This ain’t no Eva Marie folks!

Black Panther fever hits Titus Worldwide! Even Dana Brooke is doing it – (not properly she got a clipboard in her hand) But if they lose to the Bar, they will bring disgrace to Wakanda!!!

Titus Panther

YES!!!! WAKANDA FOREVER!!!! Apollo Crews was like – I AM T’CHALLA! SON OF T’CHAKA!!! Dana Brooke must have gave them some of that Vagin—- er I mean Vibranium! (still doesn’t sound right does it?)

Come on Nia you’re dealing with Asuka here! Asuka knows the way of the ninja and stealth attacks – YOU DON’T!

Mike Cole is talking about ‘friends’ and alliances that may occur in the Chamber… it’s still every woman for herself Cole! And it looks like Dana Brooke could well be dissed for real! I would say to Dana – walk out the joint – but maybe… she and Titus Worldwide should try Smackdown first before doing that…

elimination-chamber-2018-660x330

HOLY SMOKES!!! Seth Rollins has done a ‘Chris Jericho’! By that I mean he beat the two top guys in the same night! In this case Double R & John Cena! Oh man! The IWC must be reaching fever pitch!!!

What a performance by Seth Rollins! Dude has lasted over an hour in the gauntlet match thus far! But there was no way he could outlast three guys, with two of them being Double R & Cena… Elias COME CROSS!

Next opponent – Finn Balor… and true say Elias was still mash up with his ribs, one coup de grace on them and it’s curtains for the man with the guitar!

Typical Miz has to be so dyam teef! Double R, Seth, Elias, and Balor use real skills – Not the Miz… he has to brfing his pu$$yclaat friends with him and attack Balor from behind…

…but if I was Balor, I’d let The Miz beat me and let me see the lights for the three because the winner has to fight…….BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!

“If you excuse me Charly, I have some unfinished business to attend to…” The Miztourage heard Braun say that and they was like – OH SH!T! we gotta leave the ring NOW!!!

Miz tried to get away, but Braun ketch him!!! The Grant Says – If Braun was in the police force, there is NO WAY you are out running him!

Running powerslam into the canvas – BLAOW!!!!

Chamber music, f**k!n the party up! That’s what Braun does!!!

 

 

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Monday Night Raw #1290, February 12, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

THESE GUYS NEED AN AWARD!!!

We all bought it! We all bought it – HOOK LINE & SINKER!!!! We all bought it! Even our wrestling journalist experts bought it! Every damn one of us were made FOOLS OF!

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RAW 1290! I hope it doesn’t bore me like last week! GIVE ME SOME JOKE!!! 

WHOA!!!! John Cena haters – don’t hang up your keyboards of mass destruction just yet – dude just said he’s going to big BIG WrestleMania! and if he fails… then he doesn’t have a road to WrestleMania! Y’all better hope and pray Elias wins then eh?

Wait a second – The Miz believes he can win! Hey I’m all for The Miz winning the chamber! Imagine that! Talk about fantasy and reality!!!!!

Yo Miz, from one Mike to another Mike… you DO NOT wanna face Brock! You’re going to be a FATHER…remember??!!! And last time I checked, Brock doesn’t give a sh!t about your kids!

GRANT BODY-P!

I like that idea! Make it happen Kurt! Miz Vs Cena – loser enters the chamber FIRST!!! In which case I’m backing Cena to win so that The Miz goes in first! See how fickle I am? I’m Blade dutty bwoyjust like you fools! Actually no…. to quote Blade… ‘I’M SOMETHING ELSE!!!’

Only ONE MAN has survived the Avalanche AA or the Super AA or whatever that blasted move is called and that’s AJ Styles! No way is The Miz gonna survive surely?

BLAOW!!!! 1, 2 and….. 3! The Miz b!tch @$$ gotta jump in the chamber FIRST! He will SUFFER!!! And John Cena is for the children… look at him signing autographs for the kids with special needs. You wanna hate THAT MAN for that? You’re more retarded than anybody else!

WHOA! I wasn’t even paying attention and Revival win their match against The Balding Club? I was sitting here wishing happy birthday to people on FB and I heard the 1, 2, 3 with Balding clubs shoulders to the mat looking at lights! Hahahahaha B!TCHES!

Yes Alexa I’m impressed with Mickie James too – she’s a mother and a WWE Superstar and she looks great… that is… until I come across THIS WOMAN… no she’s not a wrestler… but she’s a mother of FIVE. After two or three kids your body cannot recover again and you look like one of those guests from Jeremy Kyle but when you look like this… GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!! (Edd don’t even attempt to research this one!!!)

Darci carpenter

Let’s just say she is a distant associate of mine as regards to my Journalistic Hip Hop career…moving on…

Goldberg eat your heart out! Asuka – 240-0!!! NO ONE CAN BEAT HER!!! Even the Undertaker is astonished!!! But let’s be real – you’re NOT gonna see Asuka at WrestleMania for 20+ years are you?

GRANT BODY-P!

THAT IS TRUE! Had Asuka NOT relinquished the NXT Championship, god knows how much longer she would have been champion! 523 days… CM Who? GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE!

“Huge fan of Sonya Deville, she will have a great future here on Monday Night Raw…” 

Got that right Mr Greaves! She could GET IT!!!

Well so much for Sasha Vs Bayley at big BIG WrestleMania – we’re getting it now! (PAUSE)

BAYLEY WINS THE MATCH! Ok here’s the heel turn you know it alls have been waiting for!

SWITCH!!! Nia Jax attacks BOTH OF THEM!!! Ok go ahead, complain on the internet about how WWE dropped the ball again as you do!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

TODAY, I WALK WITH ELIAS!!!!! There is a first time for everything! Why wish for the Doctor of Thuganomics to come back when Elias has got it covered!

“Don’t worry Miz, those songs were not for you, they were written for MARYSE!!!”

Pregnant women don’t do it for me personally but ELIAS WANTS TO PUT IT IN!!!

WAIT – I CHANGED MY MIND!!! I’M WALKING WITH BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!! Have you seen the size of that guitar? He even broke that! And he can sing in tune too!

“Well Elias says he’s gonna win, but we all know that ain’t true,

You look at me boy when I’m singing, because I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!

You may not notice, you may not realise,  when this song is over, you’re gonna GET THESE HANDS!”

PUT THIS ON iTUNES NOW!!!!!

Are you ready for Braun Strowman’s album to drop? If you don’t buy it you’re gonna get these hands!!! I’M DUN!!!!!

HAHAHAHA!!! Strowman lick down Elias with the dutty big guitar! BLAOW!!! That’s it – now throw him off the stage! NO? Oh well!!!

Let me take this time to congratulate Ivory on her Hall Of Fame induction! Yeah I know what you’re thinking… Chyna gets dissed again! Hey – you praise the evil Triple Teef for making NXT/WWE better, but you run him down for this… you can’t have everything!

WHOA!!! Jason Jordan forced to miss big BIG WrestleMania! HOLY SMOKES!!! The question remains – what does this mean for Seth Rollins? I think everything has changed now, JUST LIKE THAT!

Tell em Kurt! The fans should be ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES! Cheering that Jason Jordan won’t be there? What sort of people are you?

Er what? Seth doesn’t want to be apart of Monday Night Raw? Welcome to the A Show Seth! I’ve been waiting for you!

Oh maybe not! He still wants to be Universal Champion! Er… how is this gonna work?

Makes sense! I hope Seth wins the Fatal 5 Way joint! But if he does, what about Finn Balor? Er… oh dear!

Sorry Apollo! Sorry Wyatt, Sorry Matt Hardy… the Chamber needs to be DON! But I gotta say I’m glad Apollo is up in that match…

OH SNAP!!! Seth and Balor did a ‘Undertaker & Kane to Austin’! You don’t get it? Er does this mean anything to you?

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Monday Night Raw #1289, February 5, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Eagles Patriots Super Bowl Football

SMASHED IT.

I gotta give WWE props, I’m sure Stephanie and Triple Teef were supporting the New England Patriots… but if they turned around and gave the Philadelphia Eagles a WWE Championship belt for their Superbowl win  – PROPS. Steph and Triple WILL NOT complain on the internet…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1289! The Royal Rumble still trending on the twitter! UNHEARD OF!

Steph RawI don’t know what Bray Wyatt is laughing about – he’s fighting Double R to qualify in the Chamber…yeah he won last year… BUT THAT WAS LAST YEAR!

That’s it fools – pull out your iPhones that you break on a regular for this LOOOOOSER! You bloody sheep!

GRANT BODY-P!

Listen to the haters cheering for Bray,,,, I would be extremely shocked if Bray wins this. Matt Hardy is watching for goodness sakes!

Double R kicks out of an instant Sister Abigail… now you know the muthaf***a ain’t winning!

Just like that, with an emphatic spear… Double R wins… go on then – complain on the internet!

Finn Balor might be the most interesting cat on the roster. This dude is not in the chamber… so I wanna know where he goes next going forward.

Oh no these Revival idiots… I hope one of em gets injured again (Actually I take that back!)

Hahahahhahahahahah Revival you B!TCH!!! Finn Balor hitting the Coup De Grace – I see you wrestling purists complaining on the internet some more! Go on – let it all out!

Not even an hour in and RAW is challenging my interest – I still have a lifeline left – Jamaica ginger cake and custard….

Cruiserweight action… sigh… I’m gonna talk to my woman…

Ok – Mandy Rose – Sasha Banks – Bayley  – Sonya Deville – and Mickie James gonna test Alexa Bliss in the Chamber!

Even better – if Nia Jax can defeat Asuka…she can go to WrestleMania too! But hear the joke – Asuka hasn’t decided who she’s facing yet!

WHOA! Alexa just put Kurt Angle on BLAST! How come Brock doesn’t have to defend his title in the Chamber!!! She should be ‘Brock’s equal’ in terms of gender equality! Er Alexa… you might wanna check Brock’s contract! It’s NOT THE SAME AS YOURS!

Last time I check, Bayley got hurt crazy when she had her NXT match with Asuka… what makes her think she can beat Asuka now?

This is one of those RAW episodes where it is very wrestling driven… not much storyline build. Don’t be surprised if I find my bed halfway through.

So let’s do the knowledge – Kurt believes Asuka will fight Alexa at WM34. But Asuka nah say nuttin… Nia WON’T win her match against Asuka, but her performance will find her in the match at WrestleMania anyway. Sasha is likely to win to advance to WrestleMania thus, this will AT LEAST be a Triple Threat match.

Asuka made quicker work of Bayley than she did with Sasha I can say that much…

HOLD UP! The Miz Vs Apollo Crews – winner goes to the Chamber? COME ON APOLLO!!! This could be HUGE!

I am tired as a muthaf***a people… this wrestling sh!t is boring me… are you sure you guys want pure wrestling on your screen? I’m gonna eat this pudding, and then find my bed – I’ve been watching Nicole Snow and Sophia Lares on Edd’s favourite channels during this wrestling sh!t… word up!

God damnit… not even Black History month could save Apollo Crews… well at least we get to see The Miz get BUSS ARSE in the Chamber!

Look pon this… Jason Jordan can’t compete… but at least he found a suitable replacement… DOUBLE R!!!!

What I don’t understand is… why is Jason Jordan at ringside? I mean, unless the Bar were being teef which I don’t think they were – he doesn’t need to be out there!

His intentions were good but he got ketch by the ref!!!! You baited it up for The Shield YOU FOOL!!!! As much of a loose cannon Ambrose is, he wouldn’t have struck The Bar in front of the referee?!

Wait a minute – since when were we watching Live Wire? or Velocity, or even Wrestling Challenge??? I didn’t know that no name jobber were still a thing for Nia Jax? have the creative team gone on holiday or something? I know it’s Black History Month/J Dilla season but…

Nia Jax wants to disfigure Asuka! NO!!! I mean… can’t they come to some mutual agreement?

I hope Mickie James hasn’t broken Sonya Deville’s nose!!! Look how fine Sonya is – come on Mickie – stop this wrestling nonsense and GET IN THAT TONGUE!GRANT MARKIES BARNERS

GRANT BODY-P!

Maybe Alexa Bliss wants to get in that tongue of Mickie! Yeah I’m scratching my head too – Absolution was gonna beat down Mickie, and Alexa saved her clart??? Mickie is looking at Alexa like – A WHA DE???

If you jabronies hated the Prince fiasco at the Superbowl and complained on the internet about it, maybe you would rather walk with Elias instead? He would have done great at the Halftime joint?!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Imagine! Elias in the Raw main event, and he combines his force with John Cena to take out the Monster Among Men…

Don’t ask me how he did it… (well I do I just watched it) but Elias will enter last in the Chamber by defeating the worn out Cena after he took a powerslam from Braun Strowman!

So er.. yeah, it was a RAW with plenty wrestling action. not much storyline and jokes… and that sort of sh!t bores me…

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Monday Night Raw #1288, January 29, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Womens Royal Rumble smashed it

Photo courtesy of Mike Knoxxx of SoulNSports/Perfect Plex- BDSIR NETWORK

SMASHED IT.

I will keep it real with you. When they announced the men’s rumble halfway through the show, and how epic it was with Strong Style Kung Fu winning… I wasn’t sure the women could top that… but blodclaaaaaaaaat!!!

And that was just the Rumble! The NXT Takeover though! You don’t have to follow the storylines, but watch the PPVs… I thought Ember Moon was gonna lose…Alicester Black… that man…I’m not supposed to be a fan considering his demeanor and who or he stands for… but he’s too cool NOT to be a fan… and as for Johnny Wrestling… if that was the main roster that match would have been over 20 years ago!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1288! I’m watching WrestleMania Orlando 24 on the Network… good lord this is so well put together…

 

 

GRANT BODY-P!

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Monday Night Raw #1287, January 22, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

EVERYBODY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE RAW 25th Anniversary! Except one person: The Infamous Informer. Why? I’m nervous. I’m on edge. I have this gut feeling that just before RAW 25 starts, Virgin Media will do the dirty on me and pull the plug. There seems to be this curse I have where I always miss the biggest RAW shows, like when it was RAW 1000, I was forced to miss that due to a family emergency, or the RAW when Shane McMahon returned, or the RAW when The Rock made a surprise appearance… maybe it’s because I disrespect miserable internet wrestling muthaf***az and it has a habit of biting me in the @$$!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1287! I know I don’t deserve it… bt can somebody borrow me a grand total of £67.72 so I too can be apart of RAW 25? NO? Well F**k you then punk! AND DON’T GET CHANTING HIS NAME YOU SILLY SHEEPLE!

RAW 25

 

 

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Monday Night Raw #1286, January 15, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

You know what I don’t understand? Vincent Kennedy puts out a tweet on my birthday (Jan 11) simply stating ‘My Hero’, referring to Martin Luther King. So if Vince abides by MLK’s words, then I speak for myself, the BDSIR Network, my close friends, all the people at Smack Talk Centre & Cage Amateurs UK when I ask…WHY HASN’T THERE BEEN A BLACK WWE CHAMPION VINCE! Bring your excuses on!

GRANT BODY-P!

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PAIGE its all over

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RAW 1286! I’ve been watching the Top 100 Raw moments on the network lately… OH MY DAYS I’M GETTING SOME JOKE!

Steph Raw

BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!

Is that a new shirt I see? Why won’t they make one saying ‘I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!!!!’

Braun Strowman tells stories??? Look man it ain’t past my bedtime!

Kurt’s got the security with him! There’s probably some dumb smark sitting at home like ‘they are in developmental’!

“I do what I want, when I want…” Braun says that and that’s what the people want… If Roman said that you fools would be booing – WAIT – NO KURT – HE FIRED BRAUN!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!! Wait a second! NO!!! Might as well turn off RAW now!

OH NO!!!!! HE SAID IT!

“I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!!” He’s gonna destroy everyone!!!

No No No I’m not watching The Bar Vs Titus Worldwide again…

So hold up – Bella Twins, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Terri Runnels, Michelle McCool, Jacqueline, Torrie Wilson… they all gonna be at RAW next week? YES!!! I hope Torrie gets to visit Vince McMahon again! PLEASE!!!!!

Braun is destroying everyone in his path!!!

“BRAUN IS COMING THIS WAY! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!”

They should play his music everytime he’s on-screen! You know like you hear haunting music everytime you see the Terminator?

I might not even talk about the matches today! F**K THAT!

OH NO! He’s heading for the production trucks!!!! Remember what happened last time someone was in the Production Truck?

HOLY SH!T!!! BRAUN BRUKK UP THE TRACTOR! This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen!

The announcers run gone! He was gonna kill Mike Cole! WAIT – HE’S STILL GONNA KILL MIKE COLE! HE DASHED HIM OFF THE STAGE! HE’S LUCKY PEOPLE WERE THERE TO CATCH HIM!

Stephanie McMahon had to call up quick time and say yo – DON’T FIRE HIM! You know where this is going right?

That Evil Triple Teef is gonna get involved!

Screenshot-2018-1-16 DJ Johnson ( DycezStreetZ) Twitter

This guy from BDSIR Network is a funny muthaf***a!!!! Y’all need to follow him! He reminds me of the Perfect Plex answer to JAMMS Podcast’s Shadfather!

This is a forbidden match… Nia Jax Vs Asuka… or I could see it as a way of wrestling porn!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

I have to be real though – Nia is going IN on Asuka!!!! None of that jobber crap anymore!

But Asuka f**ked up Nia’s leg though still! Asuka wins, but Nia is ‘kept strong’ so to speak… good booking if you ask me…

Look at me using proper wrestling terminology! F**K ALL THAT! THIS IS ME! I don’t talk that nerd sh!t!!!!

I got another question for Vince… if MLK is his hero… why does he support Donald Trump? Or let me switch the question – what does Donald Trump think of his ‘best friend’ calling a black man ‘his hero’???? Donald Trump doesn’t like black people we all know that!

I took the rare action of checking Donald Trump’s twitter. He has not acknowledged MLK once… CONFIRMATION RIGHT THERE!

These Revival Guys call themselves ‘wrestlers’ and not ‘sports entertainers’… well whoopie f**k!n doo! Now get the f**k out of the ring!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait – Elias is concerned for Michael Cole’s well-being? Since when? I assure you – Mike Cole is NOT HURT – he fell on people who caught him and cushioned the blow! Oh I am waiting for the memes this week I tell ya, especially from those jabronies from heelbook…

YEAH I SAID IT!

Hold up – I wasn’t chanting welcome back last week to The Miz??!!! The Infamous Informer is NO SHEEP!

“Roman – the title is MINE!” I’m sure Roman will happily hand over the title to you… he has a bigger destiny…. BELIEVE THAT!

They acknowledged that Paige is out the game with a ‘neck injury’… and Paige won’t be in the Rumbles… what a heartbreak… just give the girl the mic so she can tell her retirement speech…

The WWE must have listened to Perfect Plex Talk radio… they did say they didn’t do Woken Matt Hardy’s entrance properly… I think they nailed it now!!!

Goldberg HOF

Big ups to Goldberg! He’s headlining the 2018 Hall of Fame! which possibly means Undertaker won’t be inducted until next year….

Truth be told I should be doing my job and writing my thoughts about RAW’s main event – Seth Rollins Vs Finn Balor… but after Braun’s shenanigans, I really cannot be bothered…. as good as it is… sorry wrestling purists!

Uh-Oh… there might be something to talk about… see earlier in the night Jason Jordan interrupted the match with The Bar & Titus Worldwide… I thought the Bar was gonna come down to bait it up for Seth Rollins… but it backfired! Not only that – Seth Rollins USED THE CURB STOMP SUPER MOVE on Finn Balor!!!! That move was banned wasn’t it??? NOT ANYMORE!!!! The IWC gonna have a field day with this one!

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Monday Night Raw #1284, January 1, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

The rock JKJ

The joke is, the same muthaf***az who type that sh!t always end up having another bad year!!!!

YOU JEREMY KYLE JABRONI MUTHAF***AZ F**KOUTTAHERE!

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RAW 1284! IT’S A NEW YEAR YES IT IS!!!

Steph Raw

I hope the first segment is missable because I need a #2!!! Highly unlikely… it’s 2018 MUTHAF***A!

WHOA!!! Alexa Bliss Vs Asuka for the women’s championship? Oh wait… it isn’t… YET!!!

John Cena has put his name down in the Royal Rumble! Imagine if he wins… oh my days… the mass complaining on the internet!

30 entrants for the women too! You KNOW there’s gonna be surprises galore in that Royal Rumble!!!!

So they changed up Jason Jordan’s music and put lyrics on the muthaf***a!

Jason Jordan and Cesaro gonna clash! Yep – no disrespect – it will be a great contest but when you gotta go – YOU GOTTA GO!

Crowd chanting ‘Daddy’s Boy’! First time I heard that chant! (I didn’t watch wrestling at Christmas time because I thought it was disrespect to the superstars! Well at least they got paid…)

GRANT BODY-P!

Mike Cole said two weeks ago… Jason Jordan is rocking with the best but soon he has to start winning… and now Jason Jordan is doing just that – he beat internet darling Cesaro! Not sure how the IWC will handle that!

So they made Dana Brooke look like a more voluptuous Lana? I can ride to that!

Safe to say whoever loses out of this Bray Wyatt/Apollo Crews match is a b!tch… I expect Matt Hardy to appear on the titan tron and start his sh!t again!

I thought Bray Wyatt wanted a piece of Dana Brooke! Her distraction didn’t work! Sister Abigail to Crews – BLAOW!!! Sorry Dana you’re not quite Lana!!!

Wyatt is still gonna get deleted!!!! OH NO!!!

WHOA!!! Alexa tried to force Nia to choose her or Enzo! That didn’t work out too well! Just get in the ring with Asuka and shuddup!

Asuka be throwing Shaolin Kung Fu techniques at Alexa! Alexa’s Harley Quinn fist is powerless!

Why do these b!tches think slapping Asuka in the face was a good idea? It usually means curtains for them!

Asuka is a clever chick! Not only is she in the Rumbles, but she also beat Alexa Bliss! This means even if Asuka doesn’t win the rumble, she is STILL the #1 contender for the title! GENIUS!

Bwoy Renee Young sexy @$$ has to stay professional interviewing Samoa Joe… the dude who ‘injured’ Deano – and went on to say he has to stay at home living off his wife’s paycheck! OH SHEEEEEEEEEEET!!!! GUNSHOT!!!

Brock Lesnar doesn’t give a f**k if Heath Slater has kids…. and by the sounds of things – neither does Braun Strowman, and even worse – neither do the fans! Is that how you wish a happy new year to your favourite jobber? How barbaric are you people?????

Even a RHYNO is no match for the monster among men!!!

Hahaha that Jason Jordan kid – he thinks he’s down with The Shield doesn’t he? “Yeah we gotta stay focused, and if The Bar interfere in your match, we will be there – Believe That!” Roman Reigns is looking at Jason Jordan like – ‘WHERE’S HE GOING????’

WHOA! Finn Balor found his Bullet Club bredrins to go against The MizTourage! Let the masturbating begin! FOR YOU THAT IS!

GRANT BODY-P!

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This is how it goes down – if Double R gets disqualified, he loses the Intercontinental Championship! If I was Double R, I would beat him proper, THEN KILL!!!!

Apparently Double R was fined $5ooo… POCKET CHANGE!!! His daughter still had a powerful Christmas, and his wife probably gave him some Christmas pum-pum!!!

It might be an observation, but the ‘Roman Sucks’ chants are not as dominant like the Cena Sucks chants… bear in mind it’s in Miami Florida, you think the male wrestling fans have ‘grown up’???

GRANT BODY-P!

Samoa Joe – TEEF! He tried to push Double R into the referee! The plan didn’t work! Double R shifts into a spear – BLAOW! Even the crowd gives it ratings! You see? Roman Haters never win! They only make themselves look more stupid!

1 hr left of this and bed is calling me…

F**k!n Hell – Elias tried to sing that stupid New Year song, and for 37 years, I don’t know why the f**k some of you jabronies hold hands and sing that sh!t! What the f**k does it even mean?! Don’t even send answers on a postcard – I’m going to bed… no wait there… the Bullet Club are on… nah f**k that – I can catch up with this in the morning word up…

Somehow I am still hanging in there! This wrestling sh!t is boring me, but maybe Brock Lesnar will end it strong…

Brock Lesnar fears no challenger (s)!!! THAT IS TRUE PEOPLE!

My hero Kane hit the chokeslam on Lesnar! But Lesnar sat right up and laughed at Kane! Kane is like – MUTHAF***A!!!

Notice – when the don of dons hit the chokeslam on Lesnar a few years back – Lesnar wasn’t sitting up at all…his back hot him… I’m just saying…

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Monday Night Raw #1282, December 18, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

On this day, we celebrate the birthday of arguably WWE’s biggest superstar of all time – Stone Cold Steve Austin! We have to salute this man, he is the reason a lot of you wrestling fools are whining b!tches! He switched up the wrestling game to a point where all you wanna do is ‘go back to THAT era’… He switched up the crowd participation to the point where you still chant ‘WHAT?’ to a wack promo…to you jabronies who just cannot move on, even Austin himself has a solution…

Steve Austin cum bye ya

Kumbaya my lord… Kumbaya…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1282! ENOUGH F**K!N ABOUT… Let’s get this Royal Rumble show on the road!

Steph Raw

Now I wasn’t in effect last week, and Braun Strowman and my hero Kane tried to destroy each other… both lost the match… but this week, Brock Lesnar is here… heading to the ring with no fear… does he wanna test both of them? What happened to Finn Balor? I thought he was meant to fight Brock at the Rumble according to dirt sheets?

 

DO YOU KNOW VINNY MAC???

Well – Royal Rumble jump off – it’s a Triple threat situation, and Kurt took foot and ran!

It’s gonna be 3 monsters colliding! I hope they leave the ring in one piece in time for the Rumble… because at this point, there might not be a Royal Rumble at all!!!!

Now as I see my dude Seth Rollins, word on the street is Scott Dawson of the Revival is now cleared to wrestle…

I don’t see Scott Dawson though… I see Jason Jordan… the crowd doesn’t like that!

Jason Jordan obviously has more heart than brains! He wants to take Samoa Joe! This muthaf***a took Brock Lesnar to the edge!!!

Jason Jordan will go through Seth Rollins to get to Samoa Joe! He’s coming like scrappy-doo isn’t he!

One thing you can say about the kid…he GOES IN. He got that ruthless aggression.

While this contest rolls on, I just wanna address something real quick. If you have time to create a twitter account, focusing your energy hating on Roman Reigns & Brock Lesnar… you sir are A B!TCH, you get NO PU$$Y, the girls call you UGLY, and quite frankly, you should KILL YOURSELF. I feel bad for the Soul N Sports team on BDSIR Network who have to deal with something like this.

GRANT BODY-P!

THE GRANT SAYS THIS: Jason Jordan, I admire your tenacity and desire to reach that brass ring, you got all that experience points behind you rocking with the best… don’t you think it’s time you went after the Intercon… what  Double R is the champion? Er… OH DEAR!

WHOA! Was Bray Wyatt singing a new song other than ‘The Whole World In His Hands?’ Anyway…

I wasn’t gonna write anything on the Miztourage Vs Finn Balor but – Hideo Itami now on the main roster??? ALLLLLRIIIGGHHHHT! That’s modifications on WWE2K18 for me to do!

Mike Cole drawing out history on Hideo Itami’s TRUE debut on the main roster???? WOW!!! Stay close to your loved ones people…

GRANT BODY-P!

They referred Hideo Itami’s super move as ‘GO TO SLEEP’! Ha! Your false wrestling god is never coming back now!

Cedric Alexander says he wants to be cruiserweight champion so bad he could taste it… well THE GRANT SAYS he wants Renee Young so bad he can taste her!!

OH MY GOD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING! YO YO YO! STOP IT!!!

Now while Enzo and Drew Gulak is chatting puup… why is #HellInACell trending on twitter? Have I missed something???

Turns out it was something to do with Radar Radio & DJ Argue and some grime MCs….

Anyway I should really pay attention – Enzo is at commentary… where Nia Jax at???

Vincent Kennedy giving props to Bray Wyattth! Check it out!

Screenshot-2017-12-19 Vince McMahon ( VinceMcMahon) Twitter.png

So proud of him!!! HATERZ GOT NO BARS!

Wait  – Enzo gets a text or whatsapp notification on his phone… you think Nia Jax sent him nudes of herself??? He had to disappear quick time!

Drew Gulak is straight up cock blocking Enzo here! What a b!tch!!!

Question – has Asuka hit 200 NXT/WWE wins in a row? Well THE GRANT SAYS – Alicia Fox isn’t breaking Asuka’s sexy @$$ today!

Aaaaaah sheeeeeeet! Stephanie McMahon sexy @$$ is here?!!! Maybe she gonna announce the women’s Royal Rumble??? Come on Steph – get my d!ck hard like you usually do!

GRANT BODY-P!

Suddenly I’m not interested in Woken Matt Hardy’s foolishness!

Well I be damned! The Revival are back for real!!! Let’s hope they don’t get injured again! Suddenly I don’t trust Smack Talk Centre’s Pete Dunne… I’m scared he might spoil sh!t before it happens…

Seems like The Titus Brand have finally brought Dana Brooke in as their ‘logistics consultant’ or whatever she supposed to be… Yes I smell a Dear Deidre moment too…

deidre-photo-casebook-landscape7

GRANT BODY-P!

That awkward moment when I’m no longer interested in Absolution Vs Mickie/Sasha/Bayley and I’m just waiting for Stephanie to come out…

Elias is a DUTTY BWOY! Does he really think Mickie James & Sasha Banks wanna walk with him?

 

And as for Bayley, doesn’t she know only nursery rhymes on some ring a round a rosey?

The Raw women’s locker room rushed the ring to beat up Absolution, as soon as Stephanie music hit – EVERYTHING STOP! You don’t think Absolution will beat down Stephanie as well do ya?

GRANT BODY-P!

YES! A women’s rumble! Send for the YES CHANT! Now I gotta back a chick to win!

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Monday Night Raw #1280, December 4, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

F**k talking about WWE right now, it was wack last week. Like Matt Hardy, DELETE LAST WEEK’S BLODCLART!

GRANT BODY-P!

RePPiN4U Overeem

Let’s talk about the YOU – EFF – CEE! Holy smokes! It was a lot better than the card on paper word up. Michelle Waterson & Tecia Torres – OWWWWWW! You two would get it. They opened the show, good fight. Then Alvarez Vs Gaethje SMASHED IT. Gaethje had the match won, but Alvarez… MAXIMUM RESPECT to him. Let’s skip the third fight because let’s be real, they knew they couldn’t follow that match. Then Overeem Vs Ngannou – The Sean Price Punch heard around the world – GOOD LORD! Sean Price would be so proud! Even I turned it into a meme! I DON’T MAKE MEMES! And Max Holloway Vs Jose Aldo… I like Aldo but he was outclassed here…

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RAW 1280! EXCITE ME! HAVE STEPHANIE SUFFER A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION! LET XAVIER WOODS INVADE RAW DURING PAIGE’S MATCH DO SOMETHING!

Steph Raw

Survival kit: Spicy Black pepper crisps, Jaffa Cakes and Drinking chocolate… do you think that’s smart on my part???

And the booing has begun against Jason Jordan! I’m waiting for the crowd to start showing signs saying ‘Die Jason Die’!

I see someone in the crowd with a ‘Paige Marry Me’ sign…you sir have no taste in women, she is a dutty whore, she gives her pu$$y away, and well, if you want to contract aids I guess that’s up to you!

Well Double R did tell Jason Jordan to step up and take the opportunity! And Double J responded with a belly to belly to Double R! I guess NOW he has the big dog’s attention!

Gotta say Jason Jordan is GOING IN against Double R!

Look at Samoa Joe doing the knowledge! Aaaah man!

I’m telling you right now – This Jason Jordan dude – if he keeps this sh!t going – he gonna be champion in 18 months time. This match kinda reminds me of The Rock Vs Kurt Angle back in 2000 and The Rock put him over… you see what I’m saying?

Oh no! Samoa Joe gonna finish the job on a mash-up Double R but Jason Jordan intervened with a suplex to Samoa Joe! But why did Double R drop superman punch to Jordan? Oh yeah – he’s not a good guy, he’s not a bad guy, he’s THE GUY!

GRANT BODY-P!

WHAT A LYRIC! “Like Father Like Son right Kurt?!” Oh snap! making reference to the TNA days!

This ugly rarse… I hope Sasha Banks busses up her clart… but while Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville are at ringside… I’m not sure Sasha can win… unless Mickie James and Bayley steps in… and remember now – they haven’t troubled Nia Jax… or Asuka!

Oh snap! Sasha has brought her back up so that there is no teefing! The girl who is nice to look at but an ugly attitude – Yes I’m talking about Alexa Blitch – is on commentary. I just want Absolution to rush Alexa and beat up her blodclart!

COME ON SASHA! Kick down this b!tch! Talking about its ‘her house’ but you’re THE BOSS LADY! You represent HIP HOP! Don’t let Snoop Dogg be disappointed that you lost to someone who likes death metal!

Damnit! Sasha hit the Bank Statement but Paige reached the ropes! Absolution was ready to teef but Mandy and Sonya were still too strong! Paige recovers and drops the Ram-Paige – BLAOW!

I never noticed this but Sonya – you got no t!tt!£$! You got two backs! Oh no! Well you are getting that WWE money now – upgrade a cup size!

GRANT BODY-P!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ELIAS!!! For the first time – he made me laugh! He told Kurt Angle to put away his cell phone and hold his applause until he has finished! What if that was a McMahon on the phone!

Wicked wow – watch out now – Machine Gun Kelly is performing at Tribute To The Troops… well I won’t be watching that sh!t – CALLING KEVIN OWENS! SORT HIM OUT!

WTF?????? Nia Jax wants a piece of Enzo Amore? WHAT IS THIS? No no no this is not allowed! Shad get in there DO SOMETHING!

NIA SELFIE

You know Shad gonna have MAJOR BEEF with Kevin Dunn & creative now!

Suddenly I’m not interested in this cruiserweight match – I wanna know wha’gwarn with Nia and Enzo! HAHAHA this is gonna be great!

That’s the second time Elias has made me laugh! Did he just point out Machine Gun Kelly and say –‘no one knows who you are’?! FANTASTIC! Respect points gone up!

OH NO! I don’t think Braun Strowman likes that tune! BRAAUUUUUUUUUN!!!!

Elias run garne!!!! Wait there – maybe not – what was he thinking attacking Strowman from behind?

He busted his guitar over Strowman and it had no effect! That time he tried to run and he got ketch! Running powerslam – BLAOW!

I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!

HOLD UP – My hero Kane is back! His crushed larynx has recovered!

He says they gonna clash next week… but where’s the stipulation at? Buried alive? Inferno? Even Mike Cole is asking!

Is Alicia Fox ready for Asuka? I dunno… she isn’t all there in her head!

The real question is – Is Asuka ready for the Infamous Informer?? Hey Asuka – Wait til you see my Heihachi Mishima sword!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh no – these three idiots again… and it hurts me to say that about Sonya and Mandy…

They gonna kill Foxy! Ah well… I’m gonna miss her…GRANT WWDJC2

Paige loves Alicia… NO YOU DON’T…

Alicia – your legs did not run like last time! They turned into jelly and sh!t!

“The ramblings of a mad man…” I can’t believe Bray Wyatt said that about #Woken Matt Hardy… what de rarse?!!!! So hold up – he’s gonna delete Bray Wyatt? He might as well – Wyatt ain’t done sh!t!

GRANT BODY-P!

Apologies for not writing about the Tag Team Championship main event… I’m just waiting for the finish…

Sheamus TEEEEEEF! The Shield had the match won! But Sheamus deliberately got The Bar disqualified! But Kurt said – NOT SO EASY! YOU MUST RESTART! Now it’s a NO DQ match! That fool Booker-T doesn’t agree – but they ARE THE BAR right?

Samoa Joe – TEEF!!! He attacked The Shield for no reason! Double R came down to even the odds but by then it was already too late!

A better effort than last week… well done guys, still not up there with recent weeks, but put it this way – I didn’t find my bed halfway through…

 

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Monday Night Raw #1277, November 20, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Deep breath… TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF! I knew that muthaf***a could not be trusted! I don’t think anybody saw THAT sort of ending coming though… and I don’t mean when Braun Strowman had him sh!tt!n his brief!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1277! Forget about NXT War Games. Forget about Survivor Series. The main story is – JoJo nudes have been leaked! Like – GOD DAYUUUUUUM! If you are good I may share them with you!

Steph Raw

Since Virgin Media wanted to f**k with me (internet was down) I have to play catch up on YouTube.

We at least Kurt still has his job… I still wanna know why Triple pedigreed him for no reason though!

Oh no Jason Jordan bex! I hope he knows what he’s doing!

He wants a match with Triple Teef? Does he realise this dude uses the hammer???

That’s what the fans want, but Triple doesn’t wrestle on a random Monday?

Triple H back off jacket! He’s THE GAME – he’s played this game for too long Jason Jordan is but a noob!

“Triple H isn’t afraid of anyone in that locker room…” – BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!! You sure about that Stephanie?

Triple trying to stand up to him! Then he forgot he doesn’t have the McMahon Helmsley Regime so he backed off!

GRANT BODY-P!

Kurt might still be the GM but The Authority is in full force I tell ya! Putting Braun up against Jason Jordan? TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!

Now, Finn Balor passes out to Joe’s super move right, and I couldn’t help but glance at Dave Meltzer talking about ‘Vince has no faith in Balor’… see muthaf***az – this is the sh!t I’m talking about – DON’T BE LIKE DAVE. Conversely, if Samoa Joe lost to Balor – there is Dave over there saying Vince has no faith in Joe… don’t follow him readers…

To those pea brains who say Dean Ambrose is ‘boring’ with that off the rope lunatic clothesline thing he does, I bet you didn’t see the lunatic roll up pin attempt on Sheamus did you??

If I had a negative to say about the Survivor Series, it’s that a Cruiserweight Survivor Series match would have been dope… The Zo Train Vs the rebels… Oh well… you could say it was WWE dropping the ball, but we don’t think about things like – time constraints…

I think Dana Brooke is trying to avenge her friend Emma’s release isn’t she? She wasn’t ready for Asuka in NXT, she ain’t ready now!

Remember last time Dana Brooke slapped Asuka? Didn’t work out too well! What makes her think it will work out this time?

OH NO! The ugly @$$ Paige is back! Bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay… MISS ME WITH THAT BULLSH!T!

HELL NO I didn’t miss you. F**KOUTTAHERE!

Hold up! Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville?! Now you haven’t gotta question what happened to the Tough Enough female champion, but that Sonya Deville…I like em feisty! OH YEAH!

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Now that’s funny! they beat down Bayley, Sasha and Mickie and then Alicia Fox screamed and run garne!!!! FANTASTIC!

Mandy Rose has a better super move than Eva Marie ever had!GRANT WWDJC2

Shout out to Micah Lee of Soul N Sports/BDSIR NETWORK – he posed the question – if RAW gets Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville – what does Smackdown get? WELL THE GRANT SAYS – BILLIE KAY & PEYTON ROYCE FOR THE WIN! DO IT!!!!

WELL THE GRANT SAYS THIS – If Mandy & Sonya have any sense – they will leave Paige before she turns on them – just like she did with Becky Lynch and Charlotte… Submission Sorority 2.0. What do you think folks?

YES!!!! THEY BEAT DOWN ALEXA BLISS! At this moment, I like Paige just that little eeeny beeeny bit more right now! Respect points gone up from NAUGHT – NAUGHT point ONE!

GRANT BODY-P!

First Alicia Fox, now The Miz! HIM RUN GARNE!!! I wished Braun was at the other side of the stage to stop The Miz in his tracks… I would have been DUN!

TRIPLE POWERBOMB TO THE MIZTOURAGE – BLAOW!

Jason Jordan might be the luckiest muthaf***a alive – his knee gave in at the right time as if it was divine intervention – because my hero Kane appeared and attacked Braun Strowman!

Kane is killing Strowman with the chair! WHOA! He did The Undertaker move with the chair to the throat! HOLY SMOKES! All that is left to do is electrocute his seed bag and set him on fire! (What – no pyro? Ohhhh….)

GRANT BODY-P!

In the battle to become the Intercontinental Champion… Sheamus & Cesaro try to teef!! Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale to Double R – BLAOW! 1, 2, and…NOT SO EASY!!!

The Shield come down to sort the injustice!

Spear to The Miz – BLAOW!!! 1, 2, and…3!!!! LET THE COMPLAINING ON THE INTERNET BEGIN!

Let’s be real – if all the beatdowns The Miz has had in recent weeks by the likes of Strowman and The Shield was somebody else, y’all muthaf***az be like – he’s getting buried! It’s a damn shame that half the wrestling fans have lack of intellect…

…and The Miz is still talking sh!t…. until The Shield appeared behind him! Now he wants to shake their hand? What a sportsman…

WHOA!!! The Miz said this is his yard??? Er… Roman…. do you have to make a long distance call to Death Valley?

Seth Rollins kick him down as if to say – SHUT UP YOUR BLODCLART BWOY!

Announce table set up – The Miz – Shield bombed through the table – BLAOW!!! When will he ever learn???