Tag Archives: Stone Cold Steve Austin

Monday Night Raw #1307, June 11, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Since y’all muthaf***az are not watching the World Wrestling Federation Live because of E3, I’m not watching it live either! I’m not watching E3 either… I GOTTA BETTER THINGS TO DO! Every year the same muthaf***a pops up in my FB inbox like ‘you watching E3’? THE GRANT SAYS – F**K E3! I’M NOT THAT GUY! That gaming aspect of me, getting excited over video games… it died a lonnnnnnnnng time ago!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1307! COREY GRAVES IS MY NEW HERO!

Screenshot-2018-6-12 Corey Graves ( WWEGraves) TwitterScreenshot-2018-6-12 Corey Graves ( WWEGraves) Twitter(1)Screenshot-2018-6-12 Corey Graves ( WWEGraves) Twitter(2)

YEAH CALM THE F**K DOWN INTERNERDS!!! I’m gonna use that!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m guessing this is how RAW & Smackdowns gonna start, with ladders in the ring and muthaf***az arguing about who is winning this sh!t…

BUMBACLAAAAAT LOOK AT BARON CORBIN HEADTOP! Did I miss a hair vs hair match or something?

Kevin Owens giving me joke! Saying Braun is too damn big!!!!

Even Alexa Blitch is giving me joke! That was a great line I admit!

“Y’all sounding like the Real Housewives of WWE!”

Did you see Braun’s face when Alexa says he’s gonna win? He was like ‘yeah you’re gonna get this d!ck’!

GRANT BODY-P!

OMG look at Breezango… getting more and more cumse-cumsa! What the f**k is all this frilly sh!t going on? I’m no fan of Ziggler & Wackintye, but I hope they buss up their clart!

Nice to see Roman Reigns smiling! Probably because he knows the WWE are editing out the boos for YouTube!

The Grant Says The B Team might be doing their thing… but I hope they get deleted!!! If Hardy & Wyatt can send for the lake of reincarnation and throw those B Team muthaf**az in there… then they can be one big happy family! Especially for Bo Dallas & Wyatt!

So the Riott Squad are going to start taking black lipstick and branding their opponents after they beat them down? Very NWO-ish don’t you think?!!!

You know what – let’s throw a pic of this woman… FOR NO REASON!

Mandy Rose

HOLY SMOKES THOSE BREASTS THOUGH!!!! Even the top she got on is saying – GOD DAYUUUUUUUUUUM!

WTF does Curt Hawkins have on? That’s some cumse-cumsa sh!t too! I’m glad No Way Jose boxed him down like that! 0-201 now muthaf***a! You lucky this ain’t UFC! You lose twice and that’s it – you’re GONE!

GRANT BODY-P!

The question remains – who was that long black-haired girl in the No Way Jose parade?

Wait a minute – has Sami Zayn brought the Stone Cold Steve Austin Skullbuster to WWE? There’s even a bell at the end of the rope climb!

Sami Zayn’s Skullbuster was SAWFT! Lashley knocked it out in less than a minute! Zayn didn’t like that sh!t so what does he do? Assault Lashley!

Elias just told me RAW was in Little Rock Arkansaw! Not really a ‘wrestling crowd’ is it?

Look at that – it’s a custom – made guitar for when Elias wins the Intercontinental joint at Money In The Bank! Did my dude Askem paint that for you?

Oh no! Rollins just noticed the Custom made guitar! Crowd be like – BURN IT DOWN! So why doesn’t Rollins do just that? Light a match and burn that muthaf***a? But I suppose stamping on it works just as well…

Money In the Bank 2018

Ooooooh it looks like Ronda Rousey has improved on her mic skills! She has put in serious time down there at the performance center! SHE IS RONDA ROUSEY! AND SHE IS BORN READY!

She wasn’t ready for that headbutt from Nia though!

Ronda sending for the arm bar! Nia trying to block! Can Ronda get it? YES!!! NIA WAS TAPPING LIKE A BEEEEEATTTCH! HOLY SMOKES!

Bobby Roode, Kevin Owens and Finn Balor combing their force to take Braun Strowman out the game! I got a bad feeling about this!

Kevin Owens with a frog splash off the top of the ladder to Strowman through a table – BLAOW!

And even with those super moves, Braun STILL got up!!!!

Hit Owens with the Running Powerslam on the ladder – BLAOW! One, Two and…. THREE!

This one didn’t end in me deddin on the floor, But I know who will be deddin – VIRGIN MEDIA if I don’t pay those bills!

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1282, December 18, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

On this day, we celebrate the birthday of arguably WWE’s biggest superstar of all time – Stone Cold Steve Austin! We have to salute this man, he is the reason a lot of you wrestling fools are whining b!tches! He switched up the wrestling game to a point where all you wanna do is ‘go back to THAT era’… He switched up the crowd participation to the point where you still chant ‘WHAT?’ to a wack promo…to you jabronies who just cannot move on, even Austin himself has a solution…

Steve Austin cum bye ya

Kumbaya my lord… Kumbaya…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1282! ENOUGH F**K!N ABOUT… Let’s get this Royal Rumble show on the road!

Steph Raw

Now I wasn’t in effect last week, and Braun Strowman and my hero Kane tried to destroy each other… both lost the match… but this week, Brock Lesnar is here… heading to the ring with no fear… does he wanna test both of them? What happened to Finn Balor? I thought he was meant to fight Brock at the Rumble according to dirt sheets?

 

DO YOU KNOW VINNY MAC???

Well – Royal Rumble jump off – it’s a Triple threat situation, and Kurt took foot and ran!

It’s gonna be 3 monsters colliding! I hope they leave the ring in one piece in time for the Rumble… because at this point, there might not be a Royal Rumble at all!!!!

Now as I see my dude Seth Rollins, word on the street is Scott Dawson of the Revival is now cleared to wrestle…

I don’t see Scott Dawson though… I see Jason Jordan… the crowd doesn’t like that!

Jason Jordan obviously has more heart than brains! He wants to take Samoa Joe! This muthaf***a took Brock Lesnar to the edge!!!

Jason Jordan will go through Seth Rollins to get to Samoa Joe! He’s coming like scrappy-doo isn’t he!

One thing you can say about the kid…he GOES IN. He got that ruthless aggression.

While this contest rolls on, I just wanna address something real quick. If you have time to create a twitter account, focusing your energy hating on Roman Reigns & Brock Lesnar… you sir are A B!TCH, you get NO PU$$Y, the girls call you UGLY, and quite frankly, you should KILL YOURSELF. I feel bad for the Soul N Sports team on BDSIR Network who have to deal with something like this.

GRANT BODY-P!

THE GRANT SAYS THIS: Jason Jordan, I admire your tenacity and desire to reach that brass ring, you got all that experience points behind you rocking with the best… don’t you think it’s time you went after the Intercon… what  Double R is the champion? Er… OH DEAR!

WHOA! Was Bray Wyatt singing a new song other than ‘The Whole World In His Hands?’ Anyway…

I wasn’t gonna write anything on the Miztourage Vs Finn Balor but – Hideo Itami now on the main roster??? ALLLLLRIIIGGHHHHT! That’s modifications on WWE2K18 for me to do!

Mike Cole drawing out history on Hideo Itami’s TRUE debut on the main roster???? WOW!!! Stay close to your loved ones people…

GRANT BODY-P!

They referred Hideo Itami’s super move as ‘GO TO SLEEP’! Ha! Your false wrestling god is never coming back now!

Cedric Alexander says he wants to be cruiserweight champion so bad he could taste it… well THE GRANT SAYS he wants Renee Young so bad he can taste her!!

OH MY GOD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING! YO YO YO! STOP IT!!!

Now while Enzo and Drew Gulak is chatting puup… why is #HellInACell trending on twitter? Have I missed something???

Turns out it was something to do with Radar Radio & DJ Argue and some grime MCs….

Anyway I should really pay attention – Enzo is at commentary… where Nia Jax at???

Vincent Kennedy giving props to Bray Wyattth! Check it out!

Screenshot-2017-12-19 Vince McMahon ( VinceMcMahon) Twitter.png

So proud of him!!! HATERZ GOT NO BARS!

Wait  – Enzo gets a text or whatsapp notification on his phone… you think Nia Jax sent him nudes of herself??? He had to disappear quick time!

Drew Gulak is straight up cock blocking Enzo here! What a b!tch!!!

Question – has Asuka hit 200 NXT/WWE wins in a row? Well THE GRANT SAYS – Alicia Fox isn’t breaking Asuka’s sexy @$$ today!

Aaaaaah sheeeeeeet! Stephanie McMahon sexy @$$ is here?!!! Maybe she gonna announce the women’s Royal Rumble??? Come on Steph – get my d!ck hard like you usually do!

GRANT BODY-P!

Suddenly I’m not interested in Woken Matt Hardy’s foolishness!

Well I be damned! The Revival are back for real!!! Let’s hope they don’t get injured again! Suddenly I don’t trust Smack Talk Centre’s Pete Dunne… I’m scared he might spoil sh!t before it happens…

Seems like The Titus Brand have finally brought Dana Brooke in as their ‘logistics consultant’ or whatever she supposed to be… Yes I smell a Dear Deidre moment too…

deidre-photo-casebook-landscape7

GRANT BODY-P!

That awkward moment when I’m no longer interested in Absolution Vs Mickie/Sasha/Bayley and I’m just waiting for Stephanie to come out…

Elias is a DUTTY BWOY! Does he really think Mickie James & Sasha Banks wanna walk with him?

 

And as for Bayley, doesn’t she know only nursery rhymes on some ring a round a rosey?

The Raw women’s locker room rushed the ring to beat up Absolution, as soon as Stephanie music hit – EVERYTHING STOP! You don’t think Absolution will beat down Stephanie as well do ya?

GRANT BODY-P!

YES! A women’s rumble! Send for the YES CHANT! Now I gotta back a chick to win!

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Monday Night Raw #1273, October 23, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

IWC fools

It’s gonna hurt me to say this more than it will hurt the man in question… but Aydenn Wardle: Give me your wrestling card. You are not worthy of it. You said (on a J.A.M.M.S. Podcast I might add) that if Shinsuke Nakumura lost to Jinder Mahal at Hell In A Cell, you would hand it in and not watch AJ Styles Vs Shinsuke Nakumura if it happened at WrestleMania 34. But there you are STILL watching, and STILL complaining that while Finn Balor Vs AJ Styles was a great contest (which it was), you said the TLC match itself was garbage. So ok – Strowman & Kane go through announce tables, Kurt dons the Shield gear, The Shield get double chokeslammed through tables, Braun & Kane fight amongst each other, Kane chokeslams Braun off the stage, drops 20 chairs all over him, Braun comes back – pie faces his own team, the team rush him and throw him in the dumpster truck, Kane gets double speared through the barricade, Angle comes back – drops the olympic slam on Cesaro & Sheamus (prior to that he took most of the team to suplex city) then he and The Shield completely destroy The Miz for the win and YOU SAID IT WAS GARBAGE? YOUR CARD. GIVE IT TO ME!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1273! My apologies to my readers at Cage Amateurs UK: When Virgin Media pull the plug because I didn’t pay those bills, life offline is a bit lonely!

Steph Raw

 Now really and truly, I shouldn’t be watching live because I have a hospital appointment in the morning, (or rather by the time you read this I’ve already been to the hospital) but… Brock Lesnar gonna sign Jinder Mahal’s death warrant- er I mean answer the challenge for the Survivor Series!

But first – KUUUUUUURT!!! I was concerned about him at the PPV, but thank god he’s ok, he may have got put through a table by Strowman, but he’s still standing strong!

Raaaaar! It’s champion Vs champion at the Survivor Series! Plus 5 Vs 5 Tradtional Raw Vs Smackdown mens & womens matches!

Miz thinks Raw is his show? He got BUSS ARSE at the PPV! He’s more like Raw’s B!TCH!

Look at him complaining and sh!t… Kurt needs to tell him to shut the f**k up!

I know the Miz & the Bar was not gonna rush Kurt and brukk him up… thank god for the Shield! That would have been injustice right there!

Oh snap! 6 man jump off right now! The Bar/Miz face The Shield & AJ Styles! Good on this dude – he’s staying on Raw for the Monday too! Give this man MVP of the week please!

Ok guys – as much as I wanna hang around and watch RAW live, as stated above – I gotta fin my bed. I don’t wanna be walking like a zombie to the hospital tomorrow! Don’t worry – your boy is ok, just come off the medication and they are monitoring your favourite daywalker. (Very funny you think I was on medication because I don’t know my wrestling sh!t like you guys…go jerk off over Alexa Bliss…)

GRANT BODY-P!

Ok I’m back… the hospital could have called me to tell me the good news instead of me going clean up there only to be there for 5 minutes… let’s get on with this week’s World Wrestling Federation.

I love a good old ruckus match I do! Bodies everywhere! Camera can’t keep still! I love it! Finishing with a phenomenal forearm to Cesaro’s headcrown – BLOAW! All that technical sh!t is boring – GIVE ME RUCKUS! that’s what The Shield, the Miz, the bar and The Phenomenal One did!

OH NO! IT’S KAAAAAAAANE! Should be no problem for The Shield and AJ… right??????

Is it me or can I hear fans chanting for Roman? Er – dude is sick! Mash up with meningitis and sh!t… now you cheer for him… fickle… that’s why I can’t f**k with you wrestling fans sometimes! You’re worse than a b!tch on her period!

GRANT BODY-P!

Kane has decided to chill with us! I like how they treating his promo treatment – lighting all red, titan tron with flames and sh!t… that’s what I’m talking about!

He says he’s Raw’s original monster! I gotta agree with Kane I’m sorry! I mean yes, Strowman has pushed over ambulances, broken rings, walked out of a truck crash, nearly destroyed Brock Lesnar… but my hero Kane… he impregnated Lita, he tombstoned a priest, he electrocuted Shane’s balls, he buried his own brother alive… he’s been carried to the ring in chains once, and my personal favourite – he set people on fire for joke!

As much as I love Finn Balor, he has no chance against my hero Kane! I mean… he didn’t have to put the demon paint on against AJ Styles… but here, he’s just a man!

Finn Balor! Front drop kick to Kane to the turnbuckles! Set up for the Coup De Grace! But Kane sat right up! NO! Chokeslam off the top ropes! Balor tried to counter but the grip was too much! Chokeslam – BLOAW!

Not going for the cover! Grabs Balor by the neck again – another chokeslam – BLAOW!

NOT A THIRD!!! What did Balor do to deserve this!!! He’s a good man! CHOKESLAM – BLAOW! BACK BRUKK!!!

Emma has another chance to make Asuka see the lights for the first time in her WWE career! I’m telling you now – she needs Dana Brooke by her side again… I don’t know why they split them up in the first place…

Wait a second! Didn’t I watch Elias Samson Vs Jason Jordan already? I don’t need to see this sh!t again… hey WWE – if people missed it they can watch the PPV on the network!

Wait – I take that back – Jason Jordan coming with that ruthless aggression yo! Elias getting charged into the barricades! But Elias had to teef – he found a guitar and lick it over Jordan’s head – BLAOW!

Oh sorry guys – it was the shoulder of Jason Jordan… sorry if I got you excited for a hot minute…

GRANT BODY -P!

Drew Gulak – do not do speeches/pitches again – you sound like one of those idiots from The Apprentice!

Holy smokes Gran Metalik! He’s taken ‘walking the ropes’ to a new level hasn’t he! His athleticism is crazy!!!! He makes Super Crazy look Super Dull!

So Enzo’s crew are called ‘The Zo Train’? Sounds like a male version of the Ho train… oh wait – that IS what it is! I knew something was up with the way Enzo dressed…

GRANT BODY-P!

“The same someone, who barely survived Randy Orton, the same soemone who barely survived Shinsuke Nakumura…” Yes boys and girls, this fool wants to test BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAR! The same dude who took Cena to SUUUUUPLEXXXXX CITTTTTY! The same dude who…(deep breath) broke the Undertaker’s undefeated streak at WrestleMania, The same someone who has conquered Samoa Joe, Braun Strowman, and Goldberg… somebody order a straight jacket for Jinder Mahal NOW!

Look at Brock – he’s laughing! Pacing up and down like –  “a wha dis bwoy gwarn on wid eh?”

“When we think of WWE Champions, we think of Bruno Sammartino, Nagoh Kluh, Macho Man Randy Savage, Ric Flair, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, John Cena, and BRRRROOCCCK LESSSSNAR!!!!”

Er Heyman, what about Stone Cold Steve Austin? The Rock? The UNNNNDERRRTAYYYKERR? DISRESPECT!

I’ve come to the conclusion that Alexa Bliss is UGLY. YEAAAAH I SAID IT! I’m actually taking a good look at her – look at the amount of make up the b!tch got on! She that b!tch that when you put it in you think it’s the best sex ever, your eyes are watering, you are crying out like Lexington Steele, you reach the point of no return, buss your nut, go to sleep, wake up the next day to say good morning to her and JESUS CHRIST – she looks like Sister Abigail and sh!t!

church choir

080915, Atlanta, GA: Marcus Ross (cq) and the Beulahland Bible Church choir of Macon, Ga. perform in the “How Sweet The Sound” regional church choir competition at Philips Arena on September 15, 2008. “I felt like a star on stage,” Ross said.MIKKI K. HARRIS / mkharris@ajc.com

I will agree with the b!tch though, y’all wrestling fans is GAY. You chant ‘This is awesome’ when AJ Styles and Finn Balor stare each other in the face, but when Alexa and Mickie James sexy @$$ is on you sit there contemplating a toilet break…

Speaking of Mickie James – DAYYUUUUUUUUM! How did she get that in those jeans! Look at the high heels! Hold up – kick to the gut – tornado DDT in those heels! BLAOW! YES! Alexa Bliss deserved that sh!t!GRANT WWDJC2

Ok – Alicia Fox Vs Bayley vs Sasha – winner gets to be team captain for the women’s RAW team – Well The Grant Says – why is this even a question? Sasha is THE BOSS – she is a leader – not a follower! This match should not be taking place!

Actually I would love Alicia to be the captain – she is giving me joke ringing the bell like that! This ain’t Game of Thrones Alicia?!

OH SH!T!!! Alicia IS EL CAPITAIN!!! This is gonna be great! I LIKE THIS!

Hold up – Shane McMahon and the Smackdown brand? they think they are The Shield now coming down the stairs? They can’t be here???!!! What is this!

OH SNAP! UNDER SIEGE????!!! They brukk up the Titus Brand!

I can see Mr Strong Style there! He can take on the whole Raw Roster if he wanted to!

WROOOOOOY!!! THE LADIES ARE GOING AT IT! YES! PULL EACH OTHER’S WEAVE OUT!

Dean Ambrose said The Shield can take on the world – well how about half the Smackdown roster? Steel chairs in hand! Where’s Jim Ross when you need him?!

OH MY GOD THEY GOT KURT!!!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! HE’S INNOCENT!

HOLY SMOKES!!! You know Kurt ain’t gonna take this lying down! He’s gonna call his squad… and if he brings Kane and Strowman…. all I’m saying is – DON’T HURT MY NAOMI! OR ELSE!!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1186, February 15, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

TitusOneil_ARTICLE

THAT’S F**KED UP.

Look at this man. Proud father of the year, great ambassador of the World Wrestling Federation. Shows a positive attitude and example to the young generation, and the evil Vincent Kennedy McMahon suspends this man missing WrestleMania 32 in the process why? Because he ‘greeted’ him?

Beyonce Knowles, world renowned singer, a legend in her own right, a role model to women and young girls, performs a positive track against police brutality at the Superbowl and everybody loses their minds…but I bet if she twerk it twerk it and does the usual degoatory behaviour no one bats an eye lid right?

All this in Black History Month? To quote Ghostface Killah: “I AM HISTORY!”

NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE!

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GRANT BODY -P!

RAW #1186! I am the Infamous Informer, and I AM HISTORY!

WWF PROPA TINGZI got my cookies, my jaffa cakes, and my hot mocha… all I need is Alicia Keys…. LET’S DO THIS SHT!

God Dayuuum! Deano just called out the prettiest ‘Beast’ I’ve ever seen! Call out Brock, you get Stephanie McMahon… I need to try that! Yo Brock!!! Come and destroy me! You think Stephanie might turn up on my doorstep wearing Victoria Secret?

WHOA! Deano gotta defend his Intercontinental Championship in a Fatal 5 Way match according to Stephanie! And it’s gonna happen now! and Roman Reigns cannot interfere! I don’t think Deano wants Reigns to interfere anyway so Stephanie – your mind games are not that great!

Enter the partcipants! Kevin Owens, Stardust, Tyler Breeze, and Ziggler! Backing Deano or Owens here!

“Respect for your pal doesn’t pay the rent… championships do!” – JBL

I think you’ll find JBL that I have respect for my flatmate, and he helps pay the rent and the utility bills!

GRANT BODY-P!

LAWD HAVE MERCY! Kevin Owens hit the Pop Up Powerbomb to Tyler Breeze – BLAOW! It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy! BALL GAME! Kevin Owens – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL… CHAMPION!!!

With this… maybe Shadfather’s prediction about Owens Vs Zayn at WrestleMania may still come true!

All this loss has done has gave Deano motovation and dedication! Renee Young’s lemon panties getting wet! Kevin Owens is like – why you interviewing that fool for? it’s all about me! Ziggler is like – I’ve been f**k!n you up all over the WWE the past few weeks – that makes me the next man to take the title! Owens is like – nah… and you know what? He might be right if Shadfather’s vision holds true!

New Day gonna be on the Cutting Edge Peep show on the Fastlane! Aaaah sh!t that should be comedy gold! Oh no! They cussing Coldplay! Can they do that???

Oh no! Is Mark Henry gonna induct Big E into the Hall of Pain? Or is Big E gonna kick in the door waving the 4-4, all I hear is Henry saying ‘don’t hit me no more?’

THIS MATCH SHOULD NOT TAKE PLACE! IT’S BLACK HISTORY MONTH DAMNIT!

Come on Anaheim! Get behind Big E! Chant Franchesca!!!!!

There is actually New Day Rocks chants on their own accord! New Day isn’t even encouraging it!

Shout out to Kendrick Lamar! He won Best Hip Hop Album at the Grammys! Well how embarrassing for Jay Electronica… his diss record doesn’t hold weight anymore!

Kendrick Lamar

RePPiN4U doesn’t support the awards… but this is great and just….

They gonna interview Brie Bella now the tragedy has come to pass… watch da ryde – Charlotte gonna come through and have no manners and cuss down Danny Bryan to get heat…

Look at Ric Flair in the background… he’s itching to do something… Charlotte is saying Brie should go home and look after Danny and Nikki!!! She’s only saying that so she doesn’t have to defend the title!!!

WHOA – dissing Brie’s unconcieved babies – you don’t do that! The sperm and the egg hasn’t even joined for goodness sake!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

Big Show is gonna test Braun Strowman… watch da ryde – the Wyatts will try and brukk up Big Show and harvest him… that time Kane and Ryback will come and help! Remember I told ya!

Oh yeah, I heard some internet dickheads saying AJ Styles got ‘buried’ because he lost ONCE to Chris Jericho… SUCH…just don’t get me started.. let’s just say they don’t grasp the fundamental rule: #WrestlingIsStoryline. If you cannot grasp that.. then YOU SIR are not a fan.

So while The Miz and AJ Styles are competing in this wrestling contest, let’s shout out Ciara… for no reason…

Ciara

OHHHHHHHHH!!!! OWWWWWWWWW! CIARA! Those legs, them look like they lead straight to heaven…

(STAY FOCUSSED ON THE WRESTLING GRANT!)

Do I have to??? I know AJ Styles is exciting to watch…. but look at Ciara though! Has she got draws on???

Look Miz – Your Skull Crushing Finale is no match for the phenomenal one!

…and if you didn’t tap out of that calf crusher submission… you wouldn’t be walking on none of your so called film sets – have you seen this muthaf***a in films?

Right the word on the street is, that The Dudley Boyz will no longer use tables in their matches… Have the New Day won the campaign?

I suppose The Dudleys have a point, if you wanna see Tables… go to the WWE Network and you can watch all that sh!t… but that doesn’t mean other teams can’t use tables! God Bless the New Day! The Dudley Noys finally see the Power of Positivity! They are thinking of the future! The children, who get their education with these tables! My signature on the petition did not go in vain!

Fastlane

Instead of talking about Paige and Summer rae fighting as it doesn’t interest me at all… word on the street is Kendrick Lamar cleaned up all the grammys! We need one of his tunes right here to celebrate!

I think Jay Electronica is headed for the chair! After all, his own boss at Roc Nation once said ‘Do not bark up that tree – that tree will fall on you! I don’t know why your advisers ain’t forewarned you!’

GRANT BODY-P!

WHOA! Summer Rae beat Paige???!!! Maybe I should have paid attention! SHEEEEEEEEET!

This is what I love about The Shield and when I mean The Shield I mean Ambrose & Reigns. they KNOW how this wrestling sh!t go… they will fight each other if it means the World Wrestling Federation Title…but hold up – the Dudley Boys beating on Reigns for no reason??? Nah there is a reason… am I looking into this a bit too much? Heyman leaves the ring, He got his dude Lesnar, Dudleys attack Roman… is Heyman rebuilding his extreme army again???

WTF??? The Vincent J. McMahon Legacy of Excellence Award Next week on RAW? Only one man is gonna get it??? I so want it to be the don of dons – the Undertaker… but I gotta feeling it’s him with the wonder woman arm bands! He who says Never Give Up, he who has done so many make a wishes? Gotta be him…I am him

Hold up – I’ve figured it out!!!! I know who’s won the Vincent J McMahon Legacy of Excellence Award! It’s KENDRICK LAMAR!!! YES!!! The WWE said only one man deserves the award! That’s the man right there!

GRANT BODY-P!

Is that Bertie with a new haircut? He looks stupid just like Sheamus! Talking of sheamus… look -he’s in action! I thought he was injured IWC??? You really know your stuff don’t you? You really believe that Dave Meltzer idiot who you see as a wressstlinggg….newwwwws….gaaaaaaaaaaaaddddd!

YOU DYAM ARSE!

Big ups to WWE for showing love to one of my favourite wrestlers of all time – the Man call Booker-T. Dude just struck me when I watched WCW one time back in the Monday Night Wars, it wasn’t about Goldberg or Sting or those NWO jabronies… but Booker-T was THAT DUDE. I remember marking the f**k out when he appeared at the King Of the Ring in 2001. jumped out my seat crazy when he was beating on Stone Cold Steve Austin. Booker-T – YOU ARE THE F**K!N MAN – OK!

Becky Vs My Fillet Mignon herself – Naomi… my love goes Bang bang.. BANG!!!!

WHOA! 2/3 falls contest between Kalisto and Bertie? that’s what AJ Styles should have proposed to Jericho! I can ride to that!

I love Naomi’s attire (naturally)… but wait – TEAM BAD MUST CONTINUE! Let Sasha do her thing… we needs that reunion to be official!

TEAM BAD2

I don’t care if Cameron can wrestle or not – it’s all about – U-N-I-T-Y!

This is what I don’t understand about you jabronies… how are you gonna boo the Wyatt Family because they say you gotta bow to them but when they come out you quick to pull out your gidgets gadgets and switch the light on? YOU DYAM FOOL!

Why is The Big Show f**k!n with Brawn Strowman anyway? should you be getting ready for the Stone Cold Steve Austin podcast muthaf***a? If the Wyatts f**k you up – you ain’t gonna make it!

What did I tell ya? they was gonna harvest The Big Show, then the Ryback joins in to help! Wait for the fyyyyrrrrre!!!!!

Kane & the Big Show! Double chokeslam to Luke Harper – BLAOW!!!! Ryback running round the ring on some Feed Me More sh!t!

SHEEEET, the glass should have smashed and Austin should have hit the stunner on all those muthaf***az!

Fast Lane… more like Hard Shoulder tuh-blodcleet!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1147, May 18, 2015!!!

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The Infamous Informer

I wanna give a shout out to STC member Kieran Murray and his Wolfpack crew, see they’ve started some sh!t on the Smack Talk Centre on some faction warfare business… you got the Wolfpack, the Authority, The Alliance, and now the Ministry… I play the track above because everybody wants to know… who’s side is the Infamous Informer on? Ol’Dirty Bastard’s first line in the track is your answer. Meaning… I’m staying out of this foolishness! I am a One Man Army… you know why? Because I gotta entertain my readers every week – those who don’t take wrestling seriously, I gotta entertain my listeners on KicFM, whether it be the STC From The UK show, or the RePPiN4U Hip Hop Show! I have peoples who look up to me…. (WHAT?) I said they look up to me…. (Shout out to Stone Cold Steve Austin…) if you don’t know where I got that line from in WWF, do your googles, do your research!!!

If you want to know more about the madness in Smack Talk Centre,the wildest FB wrestling forum, accept NO imitations, simply hit up your Facebook and go to http://www.facebook.com/groups/smacktalkcentre. REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A WEIRDO!

OK enough of all that sh!t! R-Truth, Ascension, Sheamus, New Day, Wyatt, Cena, Naomi & Tamina, Neville, and Rollins get dem Payback!!! Send for the Chamber!!!! RAW #1147! Hold-Dat – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZSo Triple…. now that you have passed down your pedigree super move to Rollins, are you gonna pass down your 20 minute ‘I Am The Game-errrrrrr’ promos too?

Hi Steph!!! I sure have missed you girl…. Come here let me give you a hug… mind mi cocky!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Well trust them to rub it in how Danny Bryan doesn’t have a TV and all that, chopping wood making a fireplace…

Talk about the Elimination Chamber and Sheamus feels since he put Bryan out the game, he should be the new Intercontinental Champion… Ha… Ryback thinks differently though!!! Has Sheamus and Ryback ever clashed??? I don’t think so – that would be good to see!

Wait a minute – Triple is making it happen! YES TRIPLE! Ryback Vs Sheamus!!! Someone is losing teeth tonight – LET’S GO!

Oh did you just hear that – Ryback & Sheamus will be in the Chamber match! So there’s no qualifying matches and all that sh!t? Well that’s cool with me! Who’s the other 4 muthaf***az? STAY TUNED!

Funny how Ryback hates bullies when about a year or so ago he was on that same sh!t…..

OH SNAP! Sheamus acting like he got something in his eye… ref tryna restrain Ryback… Sheamus playing possum – Brogue Kick in the mouth – BLAOW!!!

OH SNAP!!!!! I know Ambrose did not just KILL that segment! Ambrose said to Ka- er I mean Glenn what I’ve said for weeks ever since he donned those pathetic Sunday schooltrousers… “What would Paul Bearer think? And your BROTHER???? Supposed to be the Devil’s favourite demon….” and took away his champagne!!!! That’s what I’ve said for how long – he committed the most abominable of all sins – he betrayed himself!!! He became one of us! Don’t know where I’m referring to? Do your googles!!!!

I’m sorry Renée Young couldn’t interview me on some ‘Unfiltered’ sh!t…. I’d risk having a good ol’ scrap with Dean Ambrose!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh dear Bo Dallas wants to cause beef with Neville…oh I remember these two clashed in NXT and Neville became the champion… look at Dallas targeting Neville’s injured knee… now look, Barrett’s coming out to compete… I can’t see my dude Neville winning this yo…

Big up Mike Cole for addressing him has ‘Bad News Barrett’…. he ain’t no ‘KING’ to me… F**k that – I address him as Wade B!tch @$$!!!!

Oh sh!t he got the Bullhammer super move on Neville… GOD DAMNIT!!!! BURN DOWN THE PALACE!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Big up Bo Dallas, though… he find himself in a storyline that we can be invested in…

OH SH!T!!! RUSEV BEX! Did he say ‘I Quit’??? Is he gonna run down Lana??? I’m sure there are an army of wrestling fans ready to jump to Lana’s defence! All to get in her little panties!!!

WE WANT LANA!!!! WE WANT LANA!!! – SHUT-TUP!!! Haha I like this!

Wait a minute Rusev – you can’t have a rematch??? You can’t restart the sh!t? The feud is over – this cannot continue – wait a minute Lana is here!!!! I see you wrestling fans cracking your fists like Bruce Lee!!!

…and let’s just throw a pic of Lana here… for no reason!

LANA SMILE

OH SNAP!!! RUSEV SHUT HER DOWN!!!! This could be the greatest day of wrestling fans lives!!!! Even John Cena might get cheered here!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Lana claims he said ‘I Quit’ in Bulgarian!!! Wrestling fans doing their googles! STC lads investing in condoms!!! F**k that, I wanna know how Lana says ‘Oh Yeah, Don’t Stop!’ in Bulgarian!!!

MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!!

So this is what Ambrose gets for bringing up Paul Bearer and The Undertaker… he fights Bray Wyatt… Ambrose ain’t sweating no lantern wielding fool!

What the f**k is that written on the back of Wyatt’s shirt? Follow us – pon di twitter @stc_wwe! or @MZATheInfamous!

Two guys of unorthodox fighting styles…. fans are loving this! Instead of ‘This Is Awesome’… why can’t we have a ‘This Is The Sh!t’ chant going!!!!

Why the f**k did J&J security come and teef? I thought Seth Rollins was like – nah Ambrose, you get to the back of the line… you can’t fight again? What sort of sh!t is that????

Now… Xavier Woods teefed in the match at Payback, so they banned his blodclart from ringside… doesn’t matter… Kofi and Big E got this! They will brukk up Cesaro & Kidd same way!

..and at the Chamber… they gotta defend the titles against FIVE teams??? OH SNAP!!!! Well there’s my theory out the window! The Chamber is gonna be OFF THE HOOK! I’ll be clapping… NEW.. DAY ROCKS!!!

I just love when Big E hits a big move… then he starts the clap!

Hold up, Barrett, Truth, & Rusev entering the Chamber too? WHAAAAT!

As much as I like the tag teams taking part in the Chamber – Primetime Players, LUCHA! LUCHA! LUCHA! New Day, Cesaro & Kidd, Ascension, you mean to tell me Los Jobberdores made the cut instead of Rowan & Harper???? I can hear some muthaf***a screaming out – ‘Who booked this crap’???!

What if I told you it was Teddy Long? Sh!t he should announce it! F**k that – I should tweet him!

Teddy Long  1 foot skank

Look at him! The 1 foot skank!!! Teddy Long is overjoyed!!!!

I just fast forwarded the BLA BLA BLA from Cena…. who’s gonna represent to take the title this week?

KEVIN OWENS???? The NXT Champion??? BACKSIDE!!!!! He could make history! Defeat Cena and wield the NXT & US Title at the NXT joint – UNSTOPPABLE this week!

NXT Unstoppable

Stop the chat – fight!!!! You think Scorpion & Sub-Zero would chat all this sh!t before they kill each other?

What???? Owens refuses the challenge? but he kick down Cena, dropped the powerbomb on his @$$, and stamp pon the US title???? DISRESPECT!!! Owens said – he will fight Cena on his terms??? WHOA! It’s a future war about to build! Cena looking like – WTF just happened? Just when I thought Cena’s war with Rusev was personal….

Did you see the Ziggler Vs Sheamus match on Payback? Then you know what happened with that headbutt.. come on Stardust… BUST HIM OPEN!!!

What? He just lost to Ziggler??? SH!T!!! And he’s in the chamber too?

OH SNAP!!!! Ziggler really does steal girlfriends!!!! Lana just came through and planted one or two on his lips! He’s STILL GAY! If that was me, I would have got all in her tongue, feel on her t!tt!£$, slap her @$$ and wrap her leg around my pelvis, let that skirt ride up! We are talking Lana people, one of the hottest gyal on WWE, and that’s what Ziggler does? BATTYMAN!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Meanwhile Wack Ryder & Fandumbgay are about to get BUSS ARSE by the Wyatt man dem…. I’m not even gonna watch this sh!t! TOILET BREAK!

Stephanie has started to f**k with the Bella Twins again???? Do we wanna see Stephanie Vs Brie/Nikki Part II at Summerslam??? Well I would like to see Stephanie…GRANT THAT'S WHAT I DO

Naomi YOUR TIME COME!!!! You come for your belt! She can’t be booed! because she got SKILLS!!!!

Nikki – GET READY TO LOSE THAT TITLE! You haven’t got Brie to back you again!

GODDAMNIT – disqualification???? And that Milk of Magnesia Paige is screaming – ‘My House’!!!! GOD DAMNIT – I hate that B!ATCH!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

HOLY F**K!!!! Kevin Owens gonna fight John Cena at the Elimination Chamber joint??? And this is FREE to new May subscribers??? Do I have to pull your ears to the laptop and sign up??? Suddenly Payback was just an episode of RAW!

Time to celebrate the Architect of a Dream – Seth Rollins! He’s the future! He used the Pedigree! J&J security and Glenn help him! If only Kane pulled up in a truck full of gasoline and set that muthaf***a on fire!

Hey don’t get it twisted – I like Seth Rollins! It’s that Glenn I can’t stand!

I’ve gotta question – Has Stephanie prepared a song for Seth? You know, Wind Beneath My Ring 2015????

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Chamber music, f**k!n the party up!!! Dean Ambrose I hope you know what you’re doing????

Ambrose bringing the Ruckus to Rollins!!!! He was ready to f**k him up with the cinder blocks until Triple & Steph granted the Championship match at the Chamber!

But even a one man army like Ambrose can outlast the Authority for so long… Rollins hits the pedigree – BLAOW! (Remind me to put that in Seth’s move-set in WWE2K15!)

The question remains – what becomes of Orton and Reigns? Where do they fit into the equation?

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1115: October 6, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

It’s true Worst Comes to Worst my peoples come first… I gotta play Uncle duties, I had to look after my nephew while a family funeral is happening out-of-town. Which meant I missed RAW, and after what, two, three weeks of RAW foolishness, WWE pulls one out the hat when I’m not watching live??? DAMNIT, DAMNIT! DAMNIT!!!!!

This is my version of the events as according to WWE.Com. RAW #1115! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZSince when did you become a 2Pac fan Seth Rollins? All Eyes On Me, Me Against the World Sh!t???!!! All my enemies wanna kill me??!!! Thug Life Tattooed on my Belly??!!! He claims he loves it… well yeah – because you haven’t got BUSS ARSE yet that’s why!

Well Seth is either a 2Pac fan or a fan of Catwoman! This guy must have more lives than that b!tch! Every time Cena or Ambrose tries to get at him his legs did run! But not this time! Running into the crowd… what was The Shield known for apart from beating muthaf***az into the table? Yes – coming through the crowd – and that’s exactly what Ambrose did!

That’s it! BEAT HIM!!!! Oh goddamnit who sent the stooges down to break it up??? Hey Seth! Ever thought of running the 100 metres? I believe you can beat Usain Bolt!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Word on the street is that idiot Ziggler lost his Intercontinental Championship Belt at the airport… So irresponsible! Vince – FIRE HIS B!TCH @$$!!! You got money to recuperate damnit!

…and that’s the man you IWC b!tches want to become WWE Champion? It’s never gonna happen now – the fool lost the IC Belt!

OH SNAP!!!!! Ziggler & the Usos – triple kick in the kisser of Stardust – BLAOW!!!! His full set of teeth should be coming out of his @$$ by now!

Oh no it’s ok – he found it… where do you IWC jabronies get your info from? STOP READING THE DYAM DIRT SHEETS!

What the f**k does Adam Rose look like? I’m sorry – I can’t support him… he looks like a battyman vampire! I shall speak no more about this.

WHAT? NO! Bo Dallas defeats my don Mark Henry again??? I mean this time Henry had criminal intentions… he wanted to f**k up Dallas this time, setting up the announce table and sh!t… I say do it anyway! And say – THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!

Be patient Henry… you’ll get him!

Hmmm… amusing…Cena says that he sees in Ambrose what no one else has: GUTS… why did he not say ‘ATTITUDE’??? I’m jussaying… Shout out to the attitards!!!

So STC’s Ian Cooper was right!!!! Cena Vs Ambrose at the Hell in the Cell PPV with the winner facing Seth Rollins? What do you make of that people??? I’ll tell you what – tune in this week on BDSIR NETWORK – STC From The UK Sat 1am UK time, 8pm EST!

“You said you could beat me with one hand tied behind your back…. COME ON HOT SHOT!!!” (Vince McMahon to Stone Cold Steve Austin, April 1998)

10469748_10204537437416929_5824888263508120328_nWell Brie Bella thought she could try the same thing against Summer Rae. With my sexy Layla on her side, surely Summer Rae can’t go wrong, right?

WRONG!!!!! I can’t believe you Summer! I thought you had skills? Disappointed ain’t the word!!!

Big ups to Brie though…. she’s keeping the YES movement alive! Her music is still wack though… I gotta go in the lab and find a suitable theme song for her… since I don’t fancy Brie like I do Layla, Rosa, Naomi, Lillian, Stephanie… it will take me a while to find that track…

How is Tyson Kidd gonna use Natalya as a shield to get away from Wack Swagger? What sort of stupidness is that???

HAHAHA! Tyson Kidd getting the better of Swagger and Tyson is like – HI FIVE Nattie! Natalya just kissed her teeth and walked away!!!

Big ups to Roman Reigns he’s on the mend… but let’s be real… that was a waste of satellite TV!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh snap! It’s Vladamir Putin’s Birthday! SALUTE THIS MAN!!!! Or maybe not…..

Vladimir_Putin_-_2006

HA! HA! HA! HA! Lana don’t give me joke! The Big Show should be in prison like all of us???!!! For desecrating the Russian Flag? OH SH!T!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! We committed a hate crime!!!! Wait a minute – Lana baby girl – haven’t you being hating on the Americans for months now????!!!

I’m not American, but I would chant USA! Just to hear Lana say SHUT-UP!!! It turns me on….!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Er… Rusev…. if Big Show has been suspended, why you calling him out so you can crush him???? Er… anybody in there??? (knocking your head to check if there is a brain in there!)

NOW THIS IS WHAT I HEARD ABOUT!!! The past few weeks, I’ve been yawning my @$$ off at RAW and watching Babestation at the same time. The ONE WEEK I miss Raw due to family commitments, and THE ROCK appears on RAW???!!! Did you IWC jabronies pick this up in the dirt sheets??? You think Lana is getting wet…. with perspiration???

Hit the link below after the jump:

The Rock went to Queens, Manhattan, The Bronx!!! That’s what I love about this dude – he knows his Hip Hop Origins!!!! That’s why I’m like – F**k The Rock haters!

Whoa -whoa- whoa – Rock??!!! You had one last borough to go to? You forgot Staten Island homes???? The home of A Better Tomorrow! In stores on Warner Bros records December 2, 2014!!!!!

This is the part where the crowd should be chanting – WU-TANG! WU-TANG! WU-TANG! WU-TANG!!!!

15,000+ strong in Brooklyn chanting HOLY SH!T! HOLY SH!T! HOLY SH!T!!!! upon Rock’s presence!

Look at The Rock looking up and down at Lana… do you think he’s gonna ‘fix his jeans’???

What the hell was Rusev blubbering on about??? – IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT HE THINKS!!!!

OH SNAP!!! The Rock just quoted Jay-Z!!!! STC member Richard Selby is gonna love this!!!!

The Rock just slapped the sh!t out of Rusev!!!! He should have fixed his jeans to Lana though!!!!

You should have never told The Rock to Shut Up Lana! Now he got #SovietStreetWalker trending on twitter! Oh dear you know bad mouthing The Rock is baaaad news!!!

Right these are Anthony Benigno’s words: Not mine!

“With Alicia Fox now holding the coveted title of Paige’s Best Friend, it was only a matter of time before The Diva of Tomorrow and her batty BFF teamed up in an official capacity to torment the reigning Divas Champion, AJ Lee.”

I have an idea what ‘batty’ means over in the states, but in Jamaican terms batty means bottom, @$$.. backside… that sort of thing. you put ‘man’ at the end of batty and well a picture of Adam Rose or Darren Young or Dolph Ziggler will appear in the dictionary!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

What the rarse is this Emma doing? All this dancing nonsense? This ain’t Strictly Come Dancing fool??!!! This ain’t ballet?!!! This is WWE woman!!!! Look at AJ Lee… frustrated and sh!t… a fine woman like that should not be frustrated???????!!!!!

So w’happen, has Cesaro & Miz switched dance partners? Now The Miz could be fighting Sheamus for the US Title, while Cesaro could be fighting Ziggler for the IC? Meanwhile the crowd love Damien Sandow! Expect a face turn from Sandow somewhere down the road. The fans love his ‘stunt double’ antics!

Right IWC! F**k what you think you know. Last week, you assumed that Luke Harper is going solo… This week, that cryptic promo was as f**ked up as they come with Eric Rowan! The GRANT SAYS THIS: Don’t try to work it out… and that pregnant vision was mad disturbing… I think that all it is, is that the Wyatt Man dem have put extra creativity behind them… and it’s worries for everyone in the mid-card division at least!

You see what happen when you farce yourself in next man business Cena? Now Ambrose has gone to get a hot dog or two… and you’re there getting timberland boot stomped out by Randall, Seth and Glenn…

Wait a minute – I thought Ambrose went for a hot dog? He’s back and he’s brought the cart with him!!! I guess Cena, Glenn, Randall & Seth are hungry too… all that wrestling they be doing…

Oh hang on!!! He got ketchup & mustard as his artillery? Er… Randall… Glenn… turn back! You don’t want none of that!

Told ya!!! My fallen hero Kane & the evil Randall went from setting people on fire and ‘killing legends’ to being squirted with mustard & ketchup… To quote The Streets: Has It Come To This????

Oh lawwwd that must sting! Ambrose throwing a hot tub of onions over Rollins backbone!!! You know the onions have ben in that hot oil and sh!t!!!

OH SNAP!!!!! Ambrose use the spatula thing and clamped Rollins in his seedbag! Oh that’s it now – Sex life DUN!!!

Since I never saw this live, I can’t exactly judge this show… what I can say though… is The Rock’s appearance alone makes RAW automatically was better than the past two or three weeks… and I suppose WWE knew their ratings were in trouble… so they hit the emergency glass button! THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED!

RUSEV & LANA: Shame on you, when you step through to – the Ol’ Dirty Bastard – BROOKLYN ZOO!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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