Tag Archives: Strowman

Monday Night Raw #1280, December 4, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

F**k talking about WWE right now, it was wack last week. Like Matt Hardy, DELETE LAST WEEK’S BLODCLART!

GRANT BODY-P!

RePPiN4U Overeem

Let’s talk about the YOU – EFF – CEE! Holy smokes! It was a lot better than the card on paper word up. Michelle Waterson & Tecia Torres – OWWWWWW! You two would get it. They opened the show, good fight. Then Alvarez Vs Gaethje SMASHED IT. Gaethje had the match won, but Alvarez… MAXIMUM RESPECT to him. Let’s skip the third fight because let’s be real, they knew they couldn’t follow that match. Then Overeem Vs Ngannou – The Sean Price Punch heard around the world – GOOD LORD! Sean Price would be so proud! Even I turned it into a meme! I DON’T MAKE MEMES! And Max Holloway Vs Jose Aldo… I like Aldo but he was outclassed here…

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RAW 1280! EXCITE ME! HAVE STEPHANIE SUFFER A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION! LET XAVIER WOODS INVADE RAW DURING PAIGE’S MATCH DO SOMETHING!

Steph Raw

Survival kit: Spicy Black pepper crisps, Jaffa Cakes and Drinking chocolate… do you think that’s smart on my part???

And the booing has begun against Jason Jordan! I’m waiting for the crowd to start showing signs saying ‘Die Jason Die’!

I see someone in the crowd with a ‘Paige Marry Me’ sign…you sir have no taste in women, she is a dutty whore, she gives her pu$$y away, and well, if you want to contract aids I guess that’s up to you!

Well Double R did tell Jason Jordan to step up and take the opportunity! And Double J responded with a belly to belly to Double R! I guess NOW he has the big dog’s attention!

Gotta say Jason Jordan is GOING IN against Double R!

Look at Samoa Joe doing the knowledge! Aaaah man!

I’m telling you right now – This Jason Jordan dude – if he keeps this sh!t going – he gonna be champion in 18 months time. This match kinda reminds me of The Rock Vs Kurt Angle back in 2000 and The Rock put him over… you see what I’m saying?

Oh no! Samoa Joe gonna finish the job on a mash-up Double R but Jason Jordan intervened with a suplex to Samoa Joe! But why did Double R drop superman punch to Jordan? Oh yeah – he’s not a good guy, he’s not a bad guy, he’s THE GUY!

GRANT BODY-P!

WHAT A LYRIC! “Like Father Like Son right Kurt?!” Oh snap! making reference to the TNA days!

This ugly rarse… I hope Sasha Banks busses up her clart… but while Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville are at ringside… I’m not sure Sasha can win… unless Mickie James and Bayley steps in… and remember now – they haven’t troubled Nia Jax… or Asuka!

Oh snap! Sasha has brought her back up so that there is no teefing! The girl who is nice to look at but an ugly attitude – Yes I’m talking about Alexa Blitch – is on commentary. I just want Absolution to rush Alexa and beat up her blodclart!

COME ON SASHA! Kick down this b!tch! Talking about its ‘her house’ but you’re THE BOSS LADY! You represent HIP HOP! Don’t let Snoop Dogg be disappointed that you lost to someone who likes death metal!

Damnit! Sasha hit the Bank Statement but Paige reached the ropes! Absolution was ready to teef but Mandy and Sonya were still too strong! Paige recovers and drops the Ram-Paige – BLAOW!

I never noticed this but Sonya – you got no t!tt!£$! You got two backs! Oh no! Well you are getting that WWE money now – upgrade a cup size!

GRANT BODY-P!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ELIAS!!! For the first time – he made me laugh! He told Kurt Angle to put away his cell phone and hold his applause until he has finished! What if that was a McMahon on the phone!

Wicked wow – watch out now – Machine Gun Kelly is performing at Tribute To The Troops… well I won’t be watching that sh!t – CALLING KEVIN OWENS! SORT HIM OUT!

WTF?????? Nia Jax wants a piece of Enzo Amore? WHAT IS THIS? No no no this is not allowed! Shad get in there DO SOMETHING!

NIA SELFIE

You know Shad gonna have MAJOR BEEF with Kevin Dunn & creative now!

Suddenly I’m not interested in this cruiserweight match – I wanna know wha’gwarn with Nia and Enzo! HAHAHA this is gonna be great!

That’s the second time Elias has made me laugh! Did he just point out Machine Gun Kelly and say –‘no one knows who you are’?! FANTASTIC! Respect points gone up!

OH NO! I don’t think Braun Strowman likes that tune! BRAAUUUUUUUUUN!!!!

Elias run garne!!!! Wait there – maybe not – what was he thinking attacking Strowman from behind?

He busted his guitar over Strowman and it had no effect! That time he tried to run and he got ketch! Running powerslam – BLAOW!

I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!

HOLD UP – My hero Kane is back! His crushed larynx has recovered!

He says they gonna clash next week… but where’s the stipulation at? Buried alive? Inferno? Even Mike Cole is asking!

Is Alicia Fox ready for Asuka? I dunno… she isn’t all there in her head!

The real question is – Is Asuka ready for the Infamous Informer?? Hey Asuka – Wait til you see my Heihachi Mishima sword!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh no – these three idiots again… and it hurts me to say that about Sonya and Mandy…

They gonna kill Foxy! Ah well… I’m gonna miss her…GRANT WWDJC2

Paige loves Alicia… NO YOU DON’T…

Alicia – your legs did not run like last time! They turned into jelly and sh!t!

“The ramblings of a mad man…” I can’t believe Bray Wyatt said that about #Woken Matt Hardy… what de rarse?!!!! So hold up – he’s gonna delete Bray Wyatt? He might as well – Wyatt ain’t done sh!t!

GRANT BODY-P!

Apologies for not writing about the Tag Team Championship main event… I’m just waiting for the finish…

Sheamus TEEEEEEF! The Shield had the match won! But Sheamus deliberately got The Bar disqualified! But Kurt said – NOT SO EASY! YOU MUST RESTART! Now it’s a NO DQ match! That fool Booker-T doesn’t agree – but they ARE THE BAR right?

Samoa Joe – TEEF!!! He attacked The Shield for no reason! Double R came down to even the odds but by then it was already too late!

A better effort than last week… well done guys, still not up there with recent weeks, but put it this way – I didn’t find my bed halfway through…

 

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Monday Night Raw #1241, March 6, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Suddenly CM Princess Peach B!tch losing wasn’t so bad now does it?

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news: Talking of CM Princess Peach B!tch, WWE RAW is in Chicago… oh boy… after Double R’s win over Strowman at the Fast Lane joint and Goldberg now the new World Wrestling Federation Champion, the fans are up in arms (apart from me, because I always win) But this time even I, the Infamous Informer fears for WWE’s safety… I seriously think WWE should turn back and go to Green Bay Wisconsin or something… it’s like that film ‘The Grey’ I watched at my moms the other night… the wolves pretty much took out an entire squad. That’s the Chicago Fans, all for their saviour, CM Princess Peach B!tch!

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RAW 1241! GOD BLESS JOJO!

13,135 CM Princess Peach B!tch worshippers welcoming  Jericho in the building!

Can you believe it why????? Jericho wants to know why… I told you why three frigging weeks ago!

Jericho was ready to cuss bad words! He might as well!

If Jericho was not his best friend? So who is Owen’s best friend? A big mac?

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m actually surprised the Chicago crowd are cheering Goldberg… come on internet fans – WWE can’t edit out live chants!

The Friends of Jericho! Cheer him on maaaaaaan!!!!! They are down with Jericho Vs Owens at the big BIG WrestleMania! US TITLE ON THE LINE!

…and the fight is on! Oh no Samoa Joe TEEEEEEEF!!!! Sami Zayn is on his way! Maybe that rumor is true about that dastardly Triple Teef is putting together on some power trip sh!t!

Let me tell you something – I am yawning crazy here, I actually have a job interview in the morning, so RAW best come through because bwoy!!!!!

Er – what? Sami Zayn Vs Kevin Owens AGAIN? Oh for f**ks sake… I’m grabbing a pudding… you want some? No? Ok more for me!

…and here we go with the CM P**k chants during a cruiserweight match involving Neville… I swear I hate that muthaf***a… WHO THE F**K IS HE? FOH!

Crowd causing trouble chanting for Austin Aries… do they know something I don’t?

Neville says there is no one on his level! Hmmm… so this is the jump off for WrestleMania? Neville all up in Aries face and he dropped Neville with a mean clothesline! well The Grant says – unless there is some ladder match for the tag team titles at the big BIG WrestleMania… not every muthaf***a is gonna get paid!

Here he comes… the NEW! World Wrestling Federation Champion!!! If you don’t like that sh!t – gimme your card and get the f**k outta here!!!

“This title belongs to YOU”! WHOA! Go ahead – complain on the internet – YOU THE WRESTLING FANS ARE THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION!

Oh my god! That didn’t take long for Brock to come out, F5 Goldberg and regard him as Brock’s B!tch!

This wrestling sh!t is boring me – admittedly I’m waiting for Roman and Strowman to do their thing hoping that the gong will hit , in the meantime let’s give it up for JoJo shall we? even Double R himself knows!

JOJO RR

If a woman’s behind is flatter than JoJo… IT’S NOT A BEHIND! Some of you jabronies need to know what a BACKSIDE IS!

Big ups to Rick Rude! HIM TOO RUDE!!!! Newest inductee in the Hall Of Fame! This class is crazy!!!!

Wait a minute… why does Stephanie look bex and want Foley to go into her office? He didn’t do anything wrong did he? Oh yeah – He booked Sami Zayn Vs Kevin Owens again didn’t he? Oh yes – he’s in trouble!

Introducing the New Day Popcycle! I wished they debuted the ice cream bars in Chicago! But the crowd have been quite behaved actually… maybe they were shook after Stephanie put them on blast last time…

Stephanie!.jpg

Watching Bayley buss a promo and I can see a dumb@$$ in a purple T-Shirt that looked too tight with his tongue hanging out like a retard! You can tell he can’t get any pu$$y!

GRANT BODY-P!

Who’s gonna be Bayley’s next opponent for the big BIG WrestleMania? Sasha Banks?! Sounds cool but what about the long-legged sexy @$$ Charlotte? What about The Bottom and the Breasts – Nia Jax?

Uh-Oh – Stephanie’s sexy @$$ is out here and the CM P**k chants started! Stephanie grant-body-pshut them down again! Chanting for a LOOSER!!!!! The crowd is losing this big time! Tried to drown out Stephanie’s voice! And epic failed!

There is an issue with Sasha the Boss and Stephanie the boss! I so want Sasha and Stephanie to clash – the storyline would be epic!

Check it out – if Sasha beats Bayley -it is a triple threat match at WrestleMania for the women’s title. However – If Sasha loses – It’s Bayley Vs Charlotte… now, in this case, I want Sasha to LOSE. I wanna see Stephanie and Sasha to destroy each other!

Damnit! Charlotte tried to teef – but it backfired and Sasha advances to big BIG WrestleMania! BLAST!

Imagine that – Seth Rollins is on that rehab to get back to big BIG WrestleMania and he has the dastardly Triple Teef poster as incentive and motivation!

Now they restarted the vignettes for ‘Emma’ coming soon… Aaaah woman just take it out and start!

GRANT BODY-P!

Here we go!!! Braun and Double R gonna clash!!! Wait for the gong!!! PLEASE!

AAAAAAH SH!T!!!! But check it – Braun, the monster among men has sense – he LEFT THE RING!

But not Double R… who claims it’s his yard… Undertaker takes one look at the sign. CHOKESLAMS DOUBLE R TO HELL!

It’s the match I didn’t wanna see… but Double R… you dealing with the best that ever did it now… this is it – if Undertaker gives you props and the crowd still doesn’t accept you… I feel bad for you son!

Dedicated to Stephanie McMahon… this tune is for you girl! SHUT EM DOWN!!!!(Remind me to tweet you…)

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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