Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!
It’s that time of the month people! and I don’t mean wrestling fans on their period!
GRANT BODY – P!
Not only have we gotta save the tables, but we gotta save the t!tt!£$ as well! Those things are good to us! And we are gonna celebrate t!TT!£$ this week on this week’s blog, because breast cancer is a serious thing. So if you’re a feminist, or a 40-year-old virgin who cums at the sight of nipples, or a battyman in love with CM Princess Peach B!tch, THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR YOU!!!
RAW #1167! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!
Mike Cole says we are in for a hell of a show… I hope he means no ‘repeat’ matches! Big Show seems to be alright as well, after the beating he took at MSG by BRRROOCCCK LESSSNARR who has kicked off RAW!
Oh no not the WrestleMania XXX nightmare…. I can’t relive that again and again! That’s like Bruce Lee when he had to fight that demon in his life!
Then the Summerslam ‘screwjob’… I mean, I’m Undertaker through and through and I will support him 100%… Heyman says it’s not a prediction, it’s a spoiler, One will walk out of the cell the victor, and the other will not walk out at all.. Oh well Brock… you are a beast… but Undertaker becomes a DEMON in that cell!
Oh what is the Big Slow doing out here? WORD? He’s gonna put his hand out and say Brock is the DON?!!!
What an idiot… Big Show – you are a Big Fool! Another suplex and an F-5 – BLAOW!!!! Now go to your room!
OFFICIAL – Roman Reigns fights Bray Wyatt in the Cell! YES! Finally WWE have got it right. two extremely personal rivalries that has gone too far that they have to send for the cell. That’s how it should be!
LADIES! Roman Reigns is in the ring! 6 man tag team action! Come on girls rub on your t!TT!£$!
YES!!! Because you women rubbed yout t!TT!£$… nipples hard and all… The combined might of Reigns, Ambrose and Orton mash-up the Wyatt bwoy dem!
Don’t tell me Neville is gonna fight Stardust… oh thank goodness it’s Sheamus!
Sheamus talking too much sh!t, bad man move in silence… Neville starts kicking Sheamus all over the ring…and… the match dun already? You know what that was? that was Neville, Sheamus and Barrett (who was at commentary) basically saying ‘Yes sir’ to Mr McMahon’s register just to say they were present…
Oh no!!! It’s my hero! Bi-Polar Kane!!! Look at him! his leg is ‘mash up’!!! Seth is fed up of the mind games!!! The joke is that Seth shows so much hatred against Corporate Kane… and Kane acting like he’s the good Samaritan!
Ooh Stephanie is out here – if anyone supports breast cancer more than anybody, even me, it’s Stephanie! But check it – if the Demon Kane does not defeat Seth Rollins for the title at the PPV, then Corporate Kane is out of a job…. hmmmm…. logic says I support Seth Rollins here! As I was saying… let’s honor Stephanie’s t!TT!£$… even though they are a bit on the false side…
Natalya back on di telly! Her opponent… the UNGRATEFUL BRAT – Paige! Hopefully she will lose again… come on Natalya, show Paige how to do it! You come from the Hart Dungeon – you cannot let this little b!tch win!
Look at Natalya throwing those bows! Come on girl! mash her up!!!
It’s NEVER your house b!tch! Do you pay the rent – NO – Shut the f**k up!
GRANT BODY – P!
THAT’S IT NATALYA! Twist the b!tch up in that submission Razor Ramon used to do!
Natalya applies the sharpshooter! But Paige made it to the ropes… SH!T!
Natalya got her again!! YES!!! THE B!TCH TAPPED OUT! GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE PAIGE!
The rest of Raw could be wack… Naomi may not appear… I don’t care – NATALYA BEAT PAIGE! Justice is finally restored!
Ever wondered why I didn’t write about the Lucha/Ryback/Kevin Owens match/segment? Because it wasn’t worth talking about…
Damn who p!$$£d Stephanie off? Maybe she found the pic of her ‘t!TT!£$’ exposed on the internet… IT WASN’T ME! I put up a nice picture of her! Even The New Day are confused… they thought she liked em! Maybe she does! I dunno…she mentioned nothing about tables so I suppose she supports the cause… #SaveTheTables
URRRRGHHHH This is tiresome… can’t this be on a segment after RAW live? I mean, It’s all good for Cena to be the spokesperson of this breast cancer sh!t and bigging up the breast cancer survivors… I have an idea, while Cena is doing that, let’s throw up another good ol’ t!TTy picture…
For real – we just gonna have this match now? Corporate Kane & Seth Rollins vs The Dudley Boys?
HOLD UP – Someone is tuning into RAW this week…
If you’re going to give money to a company that claims to raise money for finding a cure for cancer, please do someresearch.Komen is a scam
I tend to believe him… but it’s like yo… why is he so concerned?
Anyway back to this – Uh-oh – the Dudleys sent for the tables…. what must The New Day be thinking???
IT’S KAAAANE!!!! AAAAH SH!T! But the Dudleys stand their ground! They remember what Kane did to them at SmackDown… 3D!!! – BLAOW!!! Kane laid out! So before Seth took foot and run… the fool taunts Kane doesn’t he? Now I’ve watched this wrestling sh!t a long time, and I know that if Kane or Undertaker are laid out on the canvas… you NEVER stand over them… they WILL crab you by your neck from a floored position, then CHOKESLAM – BLAOW!! right through the table!
The New Day must be crying in the car at this time… guys – you may not have saved that table.. but you can save the t!TT!£$… I know you wanna save Team BAD’s t!TT!£$… SO DO I!!! You guys save Tamina and Sasha… but Naomi – she’s ALL MINE!
Imagine if Team BAD defeats the Bellas as well… I’d love to hail RAW as the best ever! But obviously I cannot do that…
WHOA!!!! Now when Brie drops the Danny Bryan kicks, the Boston crowd chant NO! NO! NO!
YES!!!! TEAM BAD show the Bellas how to do it! I can now go to bed happy… but there is still half an hour at best of this sh!t…
A wha de raaaaar??? Summer Rae with a tribute to the Super Athlete Rusev??? Where is this going?
BACKSIDE??!!!! NO! Summer going on her crusty knees? What is she gonna ask him – will you let me suck your c-
I guessed wrong! But marriage??? She calls him Ru-Ru! She says he can walk out of WrestleMania 32 as the World Wrestling Federation Champion???? WHOA!!!!
HE SAID YES!!!! BACKSIDE!!! Mr & Mrs Bulgarian Brute???
But not yet???? He says he gotta be the champion FIRST! Good thinking there Rusev! Sounds a reasonable deal to me… because if he wins, he can pay for the wedding! Rusev has his head screwed on!
To take your mind off that storyline… lets celebrate some more t!TT!£$… Lana where you at girl?
The crowd is like “John Cena SUUUUUUCKS!” Oh dear!
Who’s the opponent this week? They making a big deal of it this week, like there’s a surprise lurking…
Dolph Ziggler? Yes the match will be good but quite frankly, I’m not interested…
OH SNAP!!! THE NEW DAY GOT HIM!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
BIG E is gonna take him!!!! COME ON BIG E!!!!!
BIG E is straight dominating this match!!! Byron Saxton is right – underneath all that comedy, all that ‘obnoxious’ behavior, BIG E was a former NXT Champion, Former Intercontinental Champion… so BIG E can do this!
Imagine that – New Day with Tag Team and the US Title? similar to The Shield? Anyhow they win… Team BAD are in trouble… you know The New Day love to mess around with Team BAD… I WOULD!
OH NO! The New Day got caught trying to teef! Damnit…. Cena won, but The New Day continuing the assault, that fool Ziggler comes out – BUT YO – Ziggler super kicks Cena accidentally! It’s becoming obvious from here, considering certain rumors… Ziggler gonna be that dude to defeat Cena… ain’t that a b!tch… Damn The New Day mashed up Cena, Ziggler and the Dudley Boys???!!!! Xavier mashed up the trombone effect! But it doesn’t matter! THEY KILLED IT!!!
Now guys, let’s go out and nurture and caress and appreciate those t!TT!£$! Let’s make Dean Ambrose proud!
GRANT BODY – P!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.