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THE JOBBER BLOGGER #117 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 24/7/14

Jobber Blogger logo MikeLadies and Gentleman! Yes The Jobber Blogger has some serious Firsts to discuss!

Today, is Friday! You asked for it, probably didn’t though on second thought. But I am going away on Sunday, busy all day on Saturday, not back to Wednesday, busy on Thursday, so that means I needed to watch, and write up Impact on the same day! That’s almost like blasphemy in the realm of priorities that involve effort!

But you will be happy to know that the above statement is not the ground breaking first news. No it’s something far better, far unexpected! The Jobber Blogger has been put in his place, you might remember (doubt it) back in Issue #113, the No-One Cares guy! He is Real!

fannoonecares

And despite what you might expect, he does indeed care, he stumbled on to the blog and has since been in touch! Yup, I’ve been told! Though in related news, he found it all hilarious, so there is that, which also means that I got away with it!

Oh how I wish the Rick Moranis look-a-like guy from New York found my blog from last week, that would tickle my mind for years!

rick moranis

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TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 24/7/14

Yup, this was the second round up of TNA Tapings from New York, I do believe there is yet to come Destination X, then that might be it, I don’t remember.

But here is my initial thought, “meh”. Now that doesn’t mean they weren’t good shows, but they were supposed to be BIG, like push the company forward. But they were just ECW riddled, good matches, nothing really that spectacular. Hey, this episode ended well… just had some serious problems.

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Bobby Roode vs. MVP – Falls Count Anywhere

So here it is, the verdict, MVP seems okay. So he was just selling it all rather well last week. I don’t however think he’s 100% by a long shot, but clearly can go, without issues.

Which at first, I thought this match actually wasn’t going to take place, the whole MVP not going to the ring, then Roode going to the back. I expected Kenny King to jump him or something to take over for MVP. But no, it went on as planned.

I don’t think this is over by any means, because although Roode got his hands on MVP, I guess the whole Eric Young dynamic will take this a little further. King and EY both got involved in the match briefly. But for the most part is was just Roode throwing MVP around but nothing get too serious.

In the end though, Roode applied one of the worst looking Sharp-Shooters I’ve ever seen (and he’s Canadian folks) and won the match.

It’s the kind of Sharpshooter that would scare Sting so much that he would leave the company and turn up at Comic-Con for a WWE Panel. Oh yeah, that happened too…

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Jeff Hardy hit the ring, which confuses me.

Jeff had a really good match with Lashley last week, so this week he comes out and talks about “Willow heard the fans, but he’s not gone”, though I did like the “I will paint my face, wear a mask and Swanton the Steel Steps all to entertain you”. That was good, so credit goes there.

So what I expected was Jeff talking about his loss, maybe his sore back, but instead for no reason, he brought out Matt Hardy. We all saw it coming, we knew he was at the event, but I don’t get the connection.

Why did Jeff come back to the main event to just go into the Tag-Team Division right away, couldn’t someone else have battled Lashley last week? I don’t know.

Here’s my other problem. The Hardyz look old. Now I was a Team Extreme follower growing up, like serious follower. I wore my Hardy Boyz pendant with pride, Every Single Day for Years! YEARS!

But now seeing them together in 2014. It’s almost, odd. Everyone’s always loved Jeff, he looked awesome, he wrestled with a different style, he was reckless, people just gravitated to him. But for my money, Matt was always the better Wrestler. Now over the last few years, Jeff has become a full package, where Matt has nothing over him now, but age. And that’s a disadvantage.

Matt was always the smart one, he did his best to keep Jeff on the right tracks, always stood by him, Jeff went off the rails numerous times, but then Matt did, and Matt went off hard. I mean the whole Hotel fight with his wife recently just leaves a sour taste. I don’t know what went on, none of my business, but I find it hard to look at a childhood hero and see any kind of redeeming quality in him now. My other childhood hero being Jeff, sorted himself out, improved himself, put himself in the best position he’s ever been, and it shows. To see them side by side, I don’t think I crave another Hardy Boyz Tag-Team Run. I want to see them compete, but if I’m honest, Jeff is TNA. I want him here. Matt, I don’t mind so much. I was a big supporter of Matt coming to TNA, and he messed them around and he fell hard. He’s not really shown any sign of repairing that.

The Challenge was put out to The Wolves, and seeing both teams standing against each other. Hey, I’m a Wrestling fan, I’m looking forward to the match. But it doesn’t feel like The Wolves are going to over-come Jeff on his own, he fits in the roster. Matt is the dynamic that makes them feel old-news and that they can’t compete to the same level anymore.

Glad Matt seems to have sorted himself out, I look forward the reunion Tag Match, but I like Jeff on his own now. If I’m honest… he’s better for it.

Jeff Plane

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DJ Z vs. Low Ki

I forgot quite how awesome Low Ki really is. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fully aware he’s awesome, but him just walking out on the ramp, his movements and mindset make him feel like a character. Yet it’s just him. He’s not wearing a mask, or doing any kind of gimmick, he just embodies this characteristic that is awesome to watch. Not to mention, he’s a true master of his chosen trade in Professional Wrestling.

I didn’t really write anything for this match. I know Low Ki was supposed to be at Destination X, so I do look forward to that, I don’t know if he’s actually signed with TNA, or if he’s just making an appearance, like Matt, Rhino, Devon and Dreamer.

Zema still has a weird aura to him, I like him… but I’m not sold on him. Never have been. There’s just “something” I can’t put my finger on with him, that to me makes him feel like he’s incomplete.

Either way, Low Ki won.

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Bram and Magnus vs. Gunner and Anderson

Apparently Gunner and Anderson have been a Team of late, awesome that we got told things like this because they never showed it.

They were talking about the Tag Teams in TNA, when really there is two. The Wolves, The Bromans.

Bram and Magnus just doesn’t work, all eyes are on Bram, they won’t remain a Team, I’d guess they will be feuding by the end of the year. Gunner and Anderson, forget it.

That leaves The Hardy Boyz, which is a one off, and Team 3D, that have no interest. So just The Wolves and Bromans, I guess maybe the Menagerie, but not so much.

Maybe they could put Uno and Manik as a team, or something along those lines.

Bram and Gunner faced off for a good while, clearly trying to set something up between the similarities between them.

Magnus won the match by Pinning Anderson after his “Spine Shanker” move. Which sounds ridiculous. It’s like a weapon you would get with a 90’s Saturday Morning Cartoon character’s Figure. Or indeed sound like a Villain from the a 90’s Saturday Morning Cartoon…

spineshanker

Bram instantly carried on the attack, which in the end brought out the wild card in play is Sam Shaw. Shaw just decided to stand there and get attacked. Which is actually more interesting than him getting involved. To me, that’s trust building, when he probably has no intention of using it. Which just means Gunner and Anderson are not a team, because they are not finished.

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Kurt Angle brought out Austin Aries to see if he is going to cash in the X-Division Championship for a shot at the World Championship. Which despite Aries talking in riddles, is exactly what he did.

Lashley and MVP confronted Aries, but Aries gave the usual speech about not backing down.

The main important thing to note is that Aries opened up this possible idea “Option D”. Where the X-Division Champion can cash in the Championship at any time for a shot at the World Championship. This sounds as simple as this, “we can reboot any errors quickly, or grab ratings quickly should we need it”. Plus adding to the problem of pretty much everyone being a former World Heavyweight Champion.

So now there are Two Belts in the company, which means you can get to the top by winning the easy belt to obtain. Is technically how it sounds.

The other problem, and this is the main one, is that the X-Division championship is supposed to signify the Division that TNA was built on. It’s the Championship that defines the company, it’s the championship that is prestigious and only held by those who really have been in TNA, to be in TNA. Sting hasn’t done it, Mick Foley, Kevin Nash, all of the big names to come and go, had nothing to do with the X-Division. It’s the Division built by AJ Styles, let’s be honest. So now, that Championship is just a throw away, and now not only as important, but just nothing on the importance level to the World Championship.

You can just win it, ditch it for a shot, lose, win it, ditch it. No-one wants to hold that belt for the legacy it represents, they want to win it, to just get rid of it.

I don’t like that. Option C makes sense, hold the belt as long as you can, if you make it to the big PPV of the year that puts the X-Division front and centre then you can cash it in for a main event match and the new up and comers get a chance at the Gold. Good idea. Option D, bad idea.

Also shows how much TNA need another Belt.

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Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim – Knockouts Championship

I still don’t think Taryn has really done enough to “earn” the position she is currently in. After her limited, but impressive run on the active roster, she doesn’t feel like Number One Contender material.

However, both Taryn and Gail did put on a good match, which they hit a lot of top rope moves that seemed to connect with the crowd in a way most Knockouts matches don’t.

But, I still can’t look at Taryn in the same light, she doesn’t seem like she’s back in-shape for this position. I’m sure she will be, but right now, she just doesn’t feel “ready”.

Least Angelina and Velvet crashed the match and beat them up, I liked that part. Also Angelina was looking great, once again, Velvet making her look better. Clearly Velvet doesn’t look bad, I don’t know what it is though, but side by side, Velvet just seems to push attention to Angelina, who takes it naturally.

They work together in that regard. Aside from Angelina will always look like the leader .. which is a good thing, least to me.

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The Great Muta vs. Robbie E

Yup, the Great Muta was invited to the ring, don’t know why, as I don’t think he knows how to speak English, so a speech would have been a bit of a waste of time. Speaking of waste of time, Robbie E decided to call him names, and so a match was put on.

I too, don’t understand what is so “Great” about Muta.

Someone started Whistling, then Storm came out (that’s a good idea, but poorly executed on Storm’s theme), Storm then spat Beer in the face of Muta, and started to attack.

The rest kind of wrote itself, initially I thought Muta was going to turn on Sanada, till this segment, where it was obvious Sanada was going to turn. Good news, Sanada has re-signed with TNA, so that’s cool.

I’m not so sure on Sanada looking up to Storm as a leader, rather than he just agree with Storm’s views.

Should be interesting though?

James Storm TNA business 2

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EC3, Spud and Rhino vs. Tommy Dreamer, Bully Ray and Devon – Street Fight

I honestly thought Dixie would have gone through a Table on this show. But no, they’re going to keep dragging this one out.

Funny how the Dixie, Bully Ray segment drew the lowest ratings last week. Clearly a good sign right?

Dixie pandered to the ECW name, which was annoying, though kudos for Bully getting TNA Chants going. I respect that.

Dixie said she had some plan to connect the ECW name, I don’t know what she meant.

Big news part, Gene Snitsky and Ezekiel Jackson turn up in TNA. Yup, Big Black Guy no one knows, and crazy baby killing foot fetish dude, now with an obvious dyed beard and eyebrows.

That wasn’t a good ending. Ezekiel might fit the mould, shame they both didn’t join Aces and Eights last year.

No idea where this is going, or even why they would bring them into TNA. I don’t get the connection, and it really wasn’t all that of a shocking end.

And yes, EC3, Spud and Rhino won again. So now I care a little less.

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Bit of an odd show, but least Destination X is up next week, the reunited Hardy Boyz battle The Wolves for the World Tag-Team Championships, a new X-Division Champion to be crowned (I think) and Austin Aries vs. Bobby Lashley – World Heavyweight Championship.

Should be fun, till then!

Dan

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

www.TheJobberBlogger.wordpress.com

www.TheSteelChair.com

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)www.cageamateursuk.com

The Jobber Blogger #110 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 12/6/14

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The Jobber Blogger

To think, 10 issues ago was issue 100. There’s some math to kick you in the knee caps! Or shins, if you happen to be a strange alien being at the mercy of one Captain Kirk’s instinctive kick to the groin… accidentally.

Well, that could potential be the most inappropriate way to start this, but hey, what could be better?

Yes TNA heads toward Slammiversary, live tonight actually in the US. But the question is, does their “go home” show deliver. I may have come across a little “negative” last week, and while this week’s show didn’t annoy me as much, I was very much so looking forward for it to end.

When did that happen? 1 hour and a half of Wrestling and I’m bored. The main event should be the thing you want more than anything, but yet, it was just the same old tired boring routine. On the plus side, the same old tired boring routine has had a little bit of a shake up! And yes, that’s good!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 12/6/14

Sadly, Impact did not kick off with a match, but a match wasn’t actually far behind. The TNA World Champion – Eric Young made his way to the ring (in Wrestling attire… a pretty good give away) and called out MVP.

A whole load of un-necessary garbage later the theme for the show was set. EY was going to war against MVP, Lashley and King, and should be able to win, he gets to pick the stipulation and have his “fair fight”.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Lashley

Believe it or not, but Lashley was the only one between he, MVP and Kenny King to be dressed to compete, it’s like they pre-planned this match?

Either way, this took me a little by surprise. Which is the best way to describe TNA’s main theme this week. See when it was set that EY needed to defeat MVP, Lashley and King, I therefore assumed it would be a handicap match. King again making orders (somehow) claimed EY couldn’t even defeat two of them, and so the challenge was set. Again, I expected this to be 2 on 1. But no, it was a gauntlet… with gaps. EY had to compete in three matches to get his fair fight, all of them spaced out throughout the show, which as it happens… seems fair. Too fair really.

It gets further confusing when Lashley makes quick work of EY, beats him down, injures his back, catches EY mid air and Powerslam’s him to the mat and picks up the win.

My instant reaction was, Awesome! EY got his ass kicked by big bad Bobby Lashley and now EY can’t name his stipulation. Nope.

Just because he lost, doesn’t mean he still can’t win. A stupid idea. Surely if MVP was that bent on having the advantage, it would be a handicap match. Should it not be that, giving a slight edge to EY, it should be that EY wasn’t able to actually lose. He lost, straight away. That should have been the end of it, and quite frankly something I wasn’t expecting. I was expecting an entire show where EY “defies the odds’!” phony injury and all. Still.

Lashley wasn’t done and Samoa Joe came to his aid, thus pitting Joe vs. Lashley at Slammiversary in a mid-card match no-one gives two craps about seeing.

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Now That’s Booking!

Magnus and Bram made their way to the ring. Bram looking pretty intense and awesome and Magnus looking like he has a hard time selling the idea of him being intense and awesome. He looked like a presentable version of Bram. I hope Magnus can pull off the gimmick, but right away he’s the less impressive guy in the ring, Magnus works being Magnus, Bram is a natural at playing this crazy intense violent dude. So Bram debuts as this “crazy intense violent dude” and I believe. TNA then tell me “Magnus is just as intense, crazy and violent” and I don’t believe it. Put them side by side, one is trying, one works. So the former World Heavyweight Champion – veteran – Magnus, now looks less legit than the new guy…..

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Good Booking!

Magnus was given the same old crap speech to explain himself. I really don’t think he needed to, nobody really cares enough, and he’s playing a heel, it’s not like he’s changed, he just ditched looking smart for Bram’s clothes.

Magnus blabbed on about “they” changed him to who he was. Yet this entire “change” apparently only covers the few Months where he was Champion, not the how many years he was the exact same guy beforehand, only without a Championship and catchphrase.

Willow wobbled his way to the entrance ramp, and actually did an alright promo. Jeff sucks trying to be himself, he is charismatic in everything, but dialogue. So Jeff being even more awkward as Willow is just… awkward. Unless they edit it with snazzy effects and reverb, then it’s kind of cool. Jeff jumped between his two personalities, and I actually expected him to ditch the mask and return to being “Jeff Hardy” again, but instead he didn’t. He did however talk about “we”, which was quite good, I’d rather have Willow come out with a blow up doll dressed like Jeff to compete. Instead, Abyss turned up. Abyss obviously back with issues against Magnus, so now it starts to make a bit more sense.

He still looks sort of stupid though, and not at all intimidating like he used to.

Robbie E (w/ Jesse, DJ Z) vs. Knux (w/ The Menagerie)

The Menagerie is this weird blend of good ideas and poor execution, which is always TNA’s staple of work. For instance, the idea of The Menagerie is quite good. The Freak sucks. Crazy Steve is awesome, yet rather than being more awesome, he’s sort of more “comical” and that makes him child friendly in my eyes, rather than being creepy and dark. His look is creepy and dark, how he moves is creepy and dark, the way he snaps is neck around is awesome creepy and dark. But then he’s being stupid, and with the rest of them (namely The Freak who is also known as Walking Stupid) undermines Crazy Steve’s credibility and potential, I feel, at least.

I like having the music playing and crazy lights, but then it always puts the advantage to Knux, they used to do the same thing with the Bromans, so it would be better if it went back and forth a little.

The match was alright, but it has far too many moving parts and gimmicks on both sides for there to be anything to dig your teeth into and get to know anyone as “wrestlers” or characters.

Knux didn’t have too many problems in picking up the win, with multiple distractions on both sides. Crazy Steve then tied his balloons to the back of Robbie E’s trunks, so he freaked out and ran around stupidly. Kind of funny, I get the whole having “characters for everyone” but The Bromans, especially Robbie are very credible in the ring, it would be nice to see Robbie given the chance to be a bit more serious at times. Though Tigre Uno has recently said he’d like to Wrestle Crazy Steve, and implied that he’s very good in the ring, so I’m anxious to see him actually Wrestle.

Ethan Carter the third and Spud brought out “Brooke”. Or Miss Tessmacher, or Brooke Tessmacher, correctly called Brooke Adams. Can’t they just call her that now?

It was awesome to see Brooke back, she’s one of my favourites, aside from the whole “sexualised gyrating move set she does”.

Despite the fact Brooke turned heel very quickly, ditched the fans, got a new persona… got written off of tv for months and months, she’s now back and a face. But whatever, Wrestling, get it.

EC3 was hoping to learn some dark secrets about Bully Ray, but the whole segment got vastly better when Spud took charge.

Spud who put the spot light on Brooke and removed an envelope with evidence that Brooke’s child is indeed Bully’s. Obviously, entirely incorrect information, but highly entertaining. Including everyone’s favourite – the Titan Tron pictures. With a side by side of Bully and some random Baby.

More Spud.

Bully came out to Brooke’s aid, with a horrible, horrible idea of Bully apologising to Brooke and telling her how awesome she is, including a Hug. We don’t need to see that. We all know Bully is married outside of Wrestling, the whole Aces and Eights thing was a good idea, he ditched Brooke when he lost the belt, he’s a bad guy. Now he’s a softy good guy, it’s almost difficult to watch.

EC3 then challenged Bully to a Tables match, which was then one upped by Bully to a Texas Death-match.

Okay, theory time.

Bully Ray is on Dixie Carter’s side. They needed a way to eliminate MVP and the control he has, the best way to do that is give him the power, with Dixie being entirely sure MVP was just as corrupt. And he was. Bully was thrown in the mix to “fool” people, just like The Aces and Eights. Only this time, perhaps more clever?

So my guess is in the end Bully won’t put Dixie through a table, because they are aligned, and always have been. Perhaps even with Bully getting back the World Championship. As far as EC3 and Spud are concerned, Dixie clearly has no issues with throwing them to the hands of Bully just to get her company back and prove a point. That’s my theory. Bully is being “too good”.

suspicious bully

Eric Young vs. Kenny King

This was the match of the night, King is a fantastic talent, and I love the current position he is in. Against EY, they both put on a great match, and The Royal Flush – King’s special move, is awesome!

Though a little annoying he just then spent time showing off rather than pinning EY, a clear sign we know how the match is going to play out.

EY then hit the Pile-Driver on King and I cringed, again. You could see King move his head up a little too early, but I don’t blame him one second. The whole move is just bad. I don’t know why they are continuing it. I guess if all parties are happy to do it, fair enough. But it’s almost like “the pile driver will set us apart from the competition”. There’s a pretty damn good reason why they don’t use that move, and I wish TNA would be the same.

Brittany vs. Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim – #1 Contendership – Knockouts Title

It’s a little annoying that these number one contender matches need to take place, and usually do just before a PPV. The Knockouts have some interesting stories going on currently, can’t they work them into a Title match without having the randomly win an opportunity.

Brittany spent the first part of match copying Madison, and also doing her best to help her in a 2 on 1 type of situation.

Angelina and Velvet crashed the match to join commentary which led to a great little line from Tenay “right in the midst of this three way…… excuse me”.

Madison obviously got more annoyed with Brittany and in the end hit her. Angelina and Velvet made their way to the ring to try and help Brittany win but instead assisted Gail Kim who dropped Brittany with “eat defeat” and is now the Number One Contender.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Brittany joins The Beautiful People, only for them to abuse her and beat up or something. Also remember Taryn Terrell is expected back, would be pretty neat if she were to join up with The Beautiful People too. Not to mention the Von Erich’s are coming to Slammiversary, so perhaps a possible reunion with Lacey isn’t out of the question either.

MVP vs. Eric Young

Yes the main event is here, and it’s the very same main event they were planning for Slammiversary. And it was boring.

Lashley and King beat down EY before he got in the ring, MVP power-bombed EY into the Corner Turnbuckle which looked very, very dangerous how he landed.

In the end MVP just got a Chair and beat up EY getting himself disqualified and thus giving EY a victory so he can pick the stipulation. MVP’s plan of course was just to beat down on EY, which makes sense I suppose.

EY chooses a cage match. And thankfully MVP injured himself recently on a house show and cannot compete tonight, so the match has since been changed, which actually makes the card much more exciting.

So rather than having EY vs. MVP in a Cage for the World Championship, EY will instead face the Winner’s of the Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe and Kenny King vs. Austin Aries matches in a Triple-Threat Cage Match for the Main Event. So well done, the main event is now a little more exciting, and two randomly booked mid card matches (aside from King and Aries to be fair, should be awesome) are now much more interesting.

Speaking of Slammiversary!

Willow (/Abyss) vs. Magnus (w/Bram)

Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim – Knockouts Championship

Bully Ray vs. EC3 – Texas Death Match

Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe – Number One Contender – Main Event

Kenny King vs. Austin Aries – Number One Contender – Main Event

James Storm vs. Mr. Anderson

EY – vs. winners – Triple Threat – Steel Cage- World Heavyweight Championship

Plus the Von Erich’s, plus the TNA Hall of Fame inductee 2014.

Should be a good night, I aim to have my Write up for Wednesday!

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

www.thesteelchair.com

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

 

The Jobber Blogger #107 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 22/5/14

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The Jobber Blogger

This might be a first, it is currently 1:42am, and I am settling in for Writing up The Jobber Blogger. Yes, it’s late, I know. I do like the routine of Writing this up by Sunday at the latest and then it’s ready to go as soon as Impact airs in the UK. Though for those unaware, it is Half Term time…. in May. When the hell did this happen? I don’t remember ever having so much time off when I was in school. They’ve only just gone back from Easter! Weeks, that’s all it’s been and now the bloody kids are off again and I have to work more! Though in turn they are keeping me employed by actually…. turning up and creating business. Without the holidays my work would be rather quiet indeed!

And no, it’s not a camp, or weird Children related industries. It’s a Cinema, sure I’ve mentioned that before. Who cares.

Impact is same old same old this week, and no that’s not a “bad” thing…. it’s just not a great thing.

It’s different enough to feel different, and that is a good thing. Impact Wrestling

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 22/5/14

One would hope that The Jobber Blogger will be up on time next week, but hey, not enough of you send this around for it to be a job! That’s a joke… I don’t think I can get paid by ranting about Wrestling shows…. what’s that, you can?

Well I’m probably not at “that” level, I like things my way, and to hell with talking about the show and reviewing the show and giving things Ratings. Stupid, irrelevant, pointless. Opinions! That’s what matters, mine isn’t better than yours, but I wrote my down, so suck it.

One thing TNA has been doing lately to piss me off, is the use of Kazarian. It seems it’s becoming a tradition to send out your Stars the worst possible way. AJ Styles, big title push, kick him off the show, bring him back, screw him over. Sting, sent out in a equally humiliating manor. Kurt Angle, injured at every step. And now, Kazarian, who had to job to Knux, run around Crazy Steve, and this week, the show kicked off with MVP, Lashley and King arriving. Kaz was on the phone with a “hang on Chris” which was a nice little touch, then he got beat up by Kenny King. Was that Kazarian’s last ever bit of work for TNA, getting beaten up for looking at a black guy. I’m going to miss Bad Influence, and hey, I’m not stranger to Ring of Honour, but we already know Christopher Daniels is going back with a “mystery” tag partner, who we all guess is Kazarian, so if they both turn up, I’m going to watch….. probably.

So MVP, Lashley and King kick off Impact, I do wish they didn’t push this little opening. They didn’t really explain any motivations for their “Heel turn” aside from just – Money, Power, Respect.

I don’t think having each of them take it in turn to talk about themselves and why they did what they did really achieved anything. But hey, been there done that storyline, why make anything else different?

I like a good Heel turn as much as the next guy, but what I like better is when it doesn’t need to be for reasons, that require said individual to walk out in the opening of the next show and explain why he isn’t a sell out.

Lots of ass-kissing, visionary this, money power that, a mention of “Dat Paper” later and The Wolves come out to confront MVP.

Now if The Wolves were aligned would have been cool, but then of course it would be better if they were black. Again, not in a racist manor, but I think that’s cool, I like that.

The Wolves did the usual “we looked up to you”, thankfully a good mention of “once they were like brothers” was not in the script. Though it was mentioned later on between Davey and Eddie themselves, don’t think I didn’t spot that, TNA.

MVP called Davey, Eddie, not sure if that was a joke or not, or just a plain human error… I chuckled a little, though if it was the other way round and Davey called MVP, Kenny by accident.. well that’s just a whole different level of BooBoo.

Lashley then Speared Eddie in the ring, and MVP walked Davey to the edge of the Ramp where Lashley speared Davey off the Ramp through a Table on the floor. Awesome way to start the show, aside from the inane chit chat, a good bit of Stage Throwing does wonders for my Wrestling appetite. Dat Paper

Just when you think you’re done with the Opening Dialogue of the show, Eric Young came out to talk about MVP. So yay, that happened! And then straight away MVP, Lashley and King are back out. It’s not Total Nonstop Promo, level’s of bad and annoying. But Wrestling damn it. You have no idea how good a Wrestling Match is to kick off Impact. Start the show with The Menagerie, that would be neat.

Anyway, good ol’ respectable Champ Eric Young jumped to the name calling game, Scumbag, Sell-out, words thrown around. Who cares! Why do you need to put names on people you don’t like. Surely calling them out to call them names is as childish as rolling on the floor trying to punch each other… oh wait.

They all get a fight, Austin Aries runs out to EY’s aid, set up matches for later. Couldn’t they have done this before? Why didn’t EY or Aries help out poor Davey. Meh, whatever.

Angelina Love vs. Brittany – Knockouts Championship – Open Challenge

Angelina offered out this Open Challenge, which is only for those who have never held the Knockouts Championship before. Of course this was played as Angelina “dodging” the competition. This also annoys me. What is it, a Month or so since The Beautiful People reformed, Angelina came back strong, not taking any crap, said it straight as it is. Took the fight to Madison, beat her up, took the Belt from her, she was dominating the Division, and now she’s scared of everyone, in how many weeks?

Why is it that she’s running away from Gail, and Gail is no longer backing down from anyone, Gail has been backing out of fights for years. I get it, Wrestling, good guy, bad guy. But it doesn’t make sense, and I don’t like it.

I want a Champion who is a Heel, who is dominant, and won’t run, won’t budge, and kicks ass. James Storm – World Champ, I want it.

As much as this might “irk” me a little, there is however a silver lining, a word that allows the complete 180. This does suck, Velvet a little help BUTT

Indeed, this does suck, But, Velvet did point at her rear whilst saying the Word but. I don’t know why, but I’m not afraid to admit that I “lol’d” a little.

So yes, Brittany accepted the Open Challenge (who else is there…. really, who is there?) though perhaps if it happens again, then Taryn Terrell might turn up, so if Angelina does defeat Gail, then my money is on that return.

Regardless! Distraction from Velvet, Angelina wins etc etc. With her almost losing to Brittany, but thanks to Velvet’s distraction didn’t, again, I get it, good guy, bad guy, etc, but really? butt really

They put some lipstick on Brittany, which I thought was a nice gesture, bag on the head, Gail out, fight. Usual stuff. Angelina vs. Gail at Slammiversary? Angelina better win.
Austin Aries vs. MVP

So this happened, a Rematch from the first time they fought. So it seems Aries is back currently. I don’t know who long for, but just having him on TV makes the world of difference. Oh how I’ve missed Austin Aries. I do think if things carry on the way they are, then Destination X could be very interesting for Aries.

Though I’m probably wrong.

As much as I’d love to say this match was great and Aries is back on point… it really wasn’t that special. The usual match, Aries throws around MVP, because he’s a bad guy now, so he gets beat up more, it’s a conscience thing. One might even say Con-Science. But also probably not.

Aries was in control went to hit his 450 Splash, King and Lashley both came out to attack Aries. EY then back out to help.

Dixie then turned up with EC3, and finally confronted MVP, offering a delightful question of “what I can do for you”. Which is much better, Dixie wanting a united front between her and MVP. Though it could turn out to be a suckered MVP in and then take over once more. I don’t know anymore.

Bully wasted no time in going after Dixie, but it was King, Lashley and MVP who beat Bully down, with EC3 putting Bully through a Table.
Magnus (w/Bram) vs. Willow – Falls Count Anywhere

I do feel that this might boil over to Magnus vs. Bram, and suddenly I’m rooting for Magnus. When did this happen. Willow sucks at this point. He’s just Jeff Hardy, being an idiot, getting thrown around whilst he screams like a woman. There’s a phrase for it…. looked good on paper

Bram Flakes wasted no time in shouting at Magnus to hit Willow in the head with the, crow pliers, thing. “Cave his head in!” in a lovely British tone, reminds me of the recent elections.

Alas, Magnus swung for the gut, but wouldn’t and couldn’t bring himself to hit Willow in the head, which is a good thing. And then Magnus lost, once again doing the right thing, and paying the consequences… he’s like Spider-Man.

Sort of.

Spider Magnus Eddie Edwards makes his way back after being with Davey in the “hospital”. He then calls out MVP, Lashley or King for a fight, King answers and they brawl.

I actually like King a lot in this position. I’ve always been a big fan of his, but he’s struggled to find his place. Even being a bad guy recently didn’t quite feel right, but him being a hot headed, slightly unhinged guy running with the power. I like it. I even like his silly cackle, laughing at people who get injured. Also this segment does a lot to put over Edwards, another good move to balance out the playing field between he and Davey.

Anderson and Storm met in a Bar to compete in a Drinking Contest. Anderson drank Water whilst Storm got drunk, then Anderson took advantage and beat him up. He didn’t take advantage and put the “moves” on Storm, like most people would in that position. o.O I’m not quite sure what I admitted to in that sentence.

Storm love

Eric Young vs. Bobby Lashley

Main Event time and EY took to battle against Lashley. One thing I can say, Lashley = Impressive.

The more I see him in action, the more I like him. I’m glad he’s a big part of this puzzle, and it can’t do anything to hurt him going forward.

Pretty much the same outcome as MVP vs. Aries, only Brian Hebner was threatened to “do the right thing” by MVP before the match.

EY hit the Piledriver, King and MVP out on the attack. Lashley hits the Spear, and Powerslam, Hebner doesn’t DQ and Lashley pins the Champ.

Aries then comes back to EY’s aid with a Kendo Stick, though it didn’t phase Lashley, and MVP, King and Lashley all stood tall to close the show.

So nothing new, but I do like this Stable of MVP, King and Lashley. I actually hope it gets added to.

I do think Bobby Roode and or Abyss will come back to even the odds soon enough.

This might just be “sailing” along, but it’s not boring. I do feel MVP, King and Lashley are legit enough to sell this rise to Power better than the likes of The Aces and Eights and especially Immortal.

I hope TNA don’t look at “correcting” this for Bound for Glory, to yet another temporary power storyline leading into more of the same in 2015. Sick of it now, no matter who is in charge.

Till then,

Dan Wilkinson

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The Jobber Blogger #105 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 8/5/14

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The Jobber Blogger

I honestly don’t know how I feel about this week’s TNA: Impact.

Aside from a random rather quick tiredness thing that kicked in during it, or, perhaps boredom. Impact just seemed off. And I don’t know if that’s because I’m going “off” it. I love TNA, and will continue to watch it, but the company we all loved has certainly changed. Hell TNA in 2010 enthused with irrelevant old school Wrestlers was much more exciting than the product we have now. It felt back then that TNA was finally heading in the right direction. AJ Stlyes was the World Champ, Beer Money and MotorCity were in the best of 5 Series, Sting had come back hanging around in the rafters. But now, it’s just, different.

And it’s not a bad different, there are a lot of good things going, but I do feel the release of Christopher Daniels has soured me a little, and having Kazarian come out to Wrestler a Jobber’s match, knowing full well he’s going to be out the company in no time, it’s just sad.

The main issue TNA always, always revolves around is that they never change enough. No matter what changes they might make, they don’t change the right people in the back to make a difference, and they always go back to attempt that “One Idea” which brought WCW so much success. But hey, it’s not the 1995, you’re not WCW, you’ve tried it I don’t know how many times now, let it go.

Wrestling. Impact-Wrestling-Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 8/5/14

It’s yet another packed, but not amazing show. It has great things going for it, good ideas, good matches. Some nice debuts, but everything has a sprinkle of “been there done that, didn’t work, try again”.

Impact opened and continued through-out the night with Bully Ray heading to the Offices of Nashville to find Dixie Carter.

Sure this actually had some redeemable qualities, Spud and Bully have great chemistry together on screen and I hope it continues. After Dixie left the offices, she had Spud in charge to keep order and keep Bully out. Of course Bully just picked him up and decided to Run the headquarters himself for the day.

This is perhaps a good insight to TNA’s failings, the filler drones with brain washed catch phrases and slogans were “running” the ship. Of course we all know these were there for the segment, but perhaps it’s a pretty decent insight as to what actually goes on behind the scenes. I do feel that the on-air product of Wrestling, and those running it, are at times so mismatched, that it’s no wonder it doesn’t work. You have Wrestlers who love Wrestling, hone their Characters, but the people making the decisions are snobs in suits in a different country looking at it as “Television”. They clearly aren’t onto a winning formula, because it’s not working. Jeff Jarrett worked so well because he was the bridge between both worlds.

Ranting aside, Bully put Spud through a Table and found Dixie’s home address on his Mobile Phone.

You might want to know what my favourite part of the Segment was, the opening with Bully Ray in his Car driving to the Headquarters where he is playing “Rock music”. Bully is someone who has been very outspoken for his love of Rock Music and the “today Wrestler” with their Video Games. Yet having Bully, most probably forced to play this particular song, driving along, bobbing his head to modern day teenage rock crap was rather hilarious. modern-teenage-rock-crap-600x373

Eric Young made his way to the ring to issue out an Open Challenge, stating that he wants to be a Fighting Champion, and the promise is to Defend the World Championship every week. I don’t remember him ever saying he was going to do that. Not to mention his Second week as Champion, he just sat at the Announce table for the main event. So there went his “streak” a week later.

Regardless, apparently MVP hadn’t booked him in a match so EY was out to make his own Title Defence, dressed in the “Canadian Tuxedo” – which is also very similar to – old-teenage-rock-crap-600x373

Bobby Roode was out the gate first to accept the Open Challenge. But of course this was pulled down with EY defeating Roode last week. But Roode had to defeat Gunner, completely over-looking the obvious of EY winning a Battle Royal, and defeating Magnus in the same night. Either way, Roode sweet talked his way into yet another Championship match by purely having “History” with EY.

Clearly I have no issue with Roode being in the main events, I love Roode, it just seems that at one time “being like Brothers” again, plays a deciding factor in two people having a match.

Though straight after the segment MVP called off the match, a little annoyed that EY didn’t even let MVP tell him his plans for the night. In which MVP is going to announce EY’s Slammiversary opponent, and someone who he has never faced before. So stay tuned folks!
The Beautiful People vs. Madison Rayne and Brittany – Evening Gown Match

Yes, the Bra and Panties matches re-emerge. I honestly can’t tell you that last time I remember watching a match like this, it did take me back to the guilty feeling of watching the old WWF Bra and Panties matches and being worried of someone walking in trying to figure out just what the hell you are watching.

It’s almost impossible to sell Wrestling as a legitimate show, let alone sell it as a good portrayal of Women. TNA have built this huge foundation of the Knockouts Division on the basis of “Women Wrestlers”. I do believe it was on the reasons why Tara (Victoria) was drawn to the Division. Well having your Women “Wrestlers” strip each other sort of defeats the purpose, and undercuts all of the efforts to credibility you might have once made.

I get it, The Beautiful People are supposed to be racy, and you have attractive Women, and these kinds of matches will probably draw ratings. But it’s for the wrong reason. I do wonder if those involved are actually happy to do the match, I expect they probably are, but then someone like Gail Kim, who prides herself on the division and really being the cornerstone of the Knockouts Division as one of, if not the most well respected, acknowledged and best Female Wrestler in the industry today. Is she pleased to see these kind of matches return?

It’s hard to sell people on your new talent, Brittany, whom already has the misfortune of being named Brittany, now do people look at her as a new Wrestler, or just eye-candy. I love the Knockouts Division, and I love it because TNA were proud to display them centre stage, even in the Main Events, but this, I just don’t feel is needed.

The Beautiful People won with the help of Velvet returning to the ring in a Towel and flashing the Referee, who was so stunned he didn’t notice Angelina use the hair spray in the face of Madison. So now their Referee’s are horny adolescent perverted morons. Awesome work.

Though to lighten the mood I did make this

Make-Over-Terminiator
Ethan Carter the third vs. Kurt Angle

At last, good news!

Kurt Angle successfully sold no-one on his poor “Leg Buckling” during the match.

But this in turn led to EC3 picking up the Win.

And yes, Kurt Angle has actually gone for Surgery. It’s been an injury he has had for around 5 years and finally gone to get it fully repaired. He had minor surgery before on his ACL, hence his short lived return. But he needed / wanted to go the full shebang, Which is good.

On the flip side, this probably means that this was Kurt’s last TNA Impact Match. Kurt’s rehab will take 4 -5 Months. We are in May, so that means he is ready to Compete for September – October. And of course his TNA Contract is up in September, and he most definitely wants to leave.

He might come back here and there, you never know. But Kurt will join AJ and Sting as TNA employees who had a rather naff exit from the company.

I myself have been saying that you can tell Kurt doesn’t really want to be in TNA anymore. His speeches, even about the Hall of Fame are to be more proud of yourselves, and TNA is great. Nothing like he used to say about loving the company or anything like that. He constantly talks about going back to the WWE on Social Media. So let him go already. I’d rather he not be in TNA if he doesn’t want to be there, and that money is better spent elsewhere.

He’s had a great run, done a lot of good for TNA, and I like Kurt, have him back where he belongs, with a retirement match, Hall of Fame induction, maybe go on to be a trainer – perfect.

Also this is sort of funny, given that his most recent come-back prior to this had him feuding with Roode, were Kurt was so feeble he kept defeating / injuring himself with his own moves. EC3 then took him out, he finally got into the Hall of Fame which pretty much sucked. Then got injured again, no-showed a PPV, made a crappy come-back, injured again and got beat then leaves. Great year. Angle-Defeated-600x357
The Bromans vs. The Wolves – World Tag-Team Championship – Ladder Match

This was easily the match of the night. Though after saying that… there weren’t any other matches.

I didn’t even realise that till now.

I love The Wolves, but I was really hoping for a great Tag-Team renaissance, and The Wolves vs. Bad Influence would have been great. Bad Influence dominated the landscape of TNA for pushing 2 years, as the best Tag-Team, despite their poorly limited Title Run. But they were a true highlight. Now they’re gone, so that sort of sucks.

This match wasn’t really quite what I wanted. That isn’t to say that there wasn’t some great spots in the match, because there were. And a couple of things I hadn’t seen before. I do feel this is probably just another stepping stone to set the stage for a great Final Match between The Wolves and The Bromans at Slammiversary.

The highlights of course were Eddie Edwards suplexing Jesse from inside the right to the floor, but Jesse held on, and they both just toppled over the Ropes. That’s the top highlight, and it was great, never seen anything quite like it, and it looked rather nasty to boot, which isn’t a good thing.

Davey leaping from the Top-Rope to Foot-Stomp Robbie E who lay across a Ladder balanced between the Ring and the Steps, again looked nasty.

And of course DJ Zema being hip tossed from the Top of the Ladder in the ring straight to the floor on top of Robbie and Jesse, leaving The Wolves to retain their Championships.

A good Ladder match, which I do strongly feel was to just whet your appetite.

Kazarian vs. Knux

This was the one I was most looking forward to. I love debuts, and especially those which have been building for a while. But the Menagerie perhaps weren’t quite what I hoped.

And take this any way you want, but this felt exactly like you’d expect a TNA idea to play out.

Say what you will, the Menagerie are different enough, but the core idea is most definitely to counteract that of the Wyatt family. Which whilst on the topic, I’m not a big fan of the Wyatt’s. I love the idea, I love the music, the entrance, Bray is awesome. I just don’t think it’s perfect, and I don’t like his Brothers.

This go around, I was rather excited. I actually started to really like Knux in the closing days of The Aces and Eights. He showed he was pretty good on the mic and quite commanding once he had gained the right stage. So it does please me that he is still around. It still bugs me that any mention of The Aces and Eights just isn’t there.

Rebel I like, I’m sold on that, she seems good, I want more Knockouts in the Division, so I hope she is an active Wrestler, which I’m sure she will be. So having her apart of his faction is great too.

Crazy Steve stands out as my favourite, he actually seems to be the most in tune with his Gimmick and playing it to strengths.

And then of course, he’s back… again. Rob Terry, rather than being “The Freak” Rob Terry, he’s just back as The Freak. But to probably hide his identity they just put a bag on his head. That pretty much sums up that Character. He is doing the same stupid flexes, he looks like he struggles walking let alone Wrestling, only now he has a bag on his head. I hope he proves me wrong. But as of right now my interest in this new faction, which is right up my alley has decreased entirely based on the fact that Rob Terry is in it… He’s terrible doesn’t do how bad he is justice.

I thought the music was alright, I liked the Stilt Walkers at the ringside, but another one of my gripes is Knux himself. I’d quite like him to actually go to a bit more effort, maybe look more like a “Ring Leader”. Rather than just a scruffy guy in jeans and a tank top with a beard.

The bad side is Kazarian having to lose to Knux, first time we’ve seen him in ages, Christopher Daniels has gone, Kaz still doing the Bad Influence gimmick, and it’s just sad. Then he has to job, and probably out the company in no time.

Willow vs. Magnus (w/Bram)

So Bram Flakes himself now has a TNA contract, as he went off to make a deal with MVP. Who do you like them…. cereals Bram-Flakes

I do like his British-ness.

Willow seems to be a dying thing too, his excitement has gone, now he’s getting beaten up, put in random matches, and like Matt Fowler from IGN said, he is called Jeff Hardy more than he is Willow. It’s borderline “what’s the point” territory.

This “match” was cut short when Bram got involved, throwing Willow into the steps, getting Magnus a DQ. He then handcuffed Willow to the ropes and attacked him with Magnus’ good friend, Mr. Turnbuckle.

Mr-Turnbuckle-600x306

I like the violence, no doubt this means Willow will be more violent in retaliation, no idea if Bram is going to develop Magnus to a face, or heel, or make him likable. I don’t know. They spent so long on making Magnus who he was, getting him over, turning him heel, making him champ, switching that really quickly to EY then trying to reboot Magnus. No idea.

And last of all, despite MVP came out to the ring earlier on in the night to “announce” EY’s Slammiversary opponent, Bobby Roode got involved, they ended in a brawl.

So this was take two, MVP brought EY to the ring, told him what a great job he’s doing, and announced his Opponent for Slammiversary as someone he has never faced before.

See my gut feeling was it’s going to be Willow, which would have sucked. Then my other feeling was it was going to be MVP. And of course, MVP then attacked EY.

This is where we are, 2Months, that’s all it’s taken for MVP to be like Dixie Carter, like Hulk Hogan, like Eric Bischoff, like The Aces and Eights, like Immortal, like Jeff Jarrett. How many times?

I don’t hate MVP turning, but I do hate that it’s yet another crappy Power Control storyline. They do it every single year. MVP wins control at Lockdown, but oh no, at Bound for Glory he will be defending his Wrestling Operations to someone else.

At least Dixie’s heel turn came out of no-where. If it just stayed between her and AJ Styles it would have worked, but they over did it by making her a dumb rich daughter that didn’t know anything and ruined her company.

2 Months!

Can’t we just have “someone” in Control of TNA who we don’t need to know about, who we don’t see, who isn’t feuding with everyone else in crappy match stipulations. I’m sick of it.

I will however give this time to play out… but you can already see where it’s going. Hey, Maybe Bully Ray will be in charge next… again.

Woo!

Till then,

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

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The Jobber Blogger #104 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 1/5/14

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The Jobber Blogger

Isn’t life great when things feel like a Chore? Yup, it’s one of those weeks again. The Jobber Blogger flies in a day late, but currently I don’t know what to think about this old crazy thing we call “Wrestling”.

The WWE hasn’t been my thing for a long time, and I love TNA. I really do. In fact this week’s show had me rethinking that phrase over and over, “I love TNA!” But then you hear the horror stories, and the backstage rumours and politics, and people leaving, and you just think, what’s going on?

Christopher Daniels has left TNA, Kazarian is looking to leave, and most people think when his contract is up in a few weeks, or whatever it is, he will be gone too. Change is never a bad thing, TNA has filled the gaps with some great new talent, pushed some fantastic older talent, and it’s in a good place. I suppose people will look at this as “They’ve lost yet another TNA original”. But hey, this isn’t the first time Christopher Daniels has left TNA, and it’s not the first time Kazarian has either. Gail Kim left, Angelina Love left, Bobby Lashley left, hell even Jeff Hardy left. But they’ve all come back. Sometimes things just don’t “work”. Doesn’t mean anything is wrong on either side, other than those sides just aren’t running as parallel as they once were.

 

This is an exciting year for Wrestling and for Wrestling fans, Jeff Jarrett, the guy responsible for pouring everything into TNA, is bringing GFW to the world, hopefully by the end of the year. No doubt it’s a fair way off from being anything “spectacular”. But this is ground one, for those people who didn’t know of TNA from day one to jump on board. Competition is the life blood of any business, people are always going to draw comparisons, and it’s never about running anyone out of business, but if you’re not striving to be the best, then you’re doing it wrong. Clearly neither GFW or TNA have what it takes to battle the WWE, but the contrast, similarities and friendships surrounding TNA and the now growing “force” of GFW, it will be real interesting to see some familiar faces and cross over’s.

But hey, that’s distant future talk, this is the right here and now, and this week’s TNA: Impact… did it right. Impact Wrestling Logo

IMPACT WRESTLING – 1/5/14

Yup, we are in the Fifth month of the year, only a matter of weeks and we’re half way through the year, already. That’s crazy.

Impact kicked off with Eric Young fresh from retaining his Championship against Magnus at Sacrifice, looking for his next challenge. MVP keen on the idea pulled in Mr. Anderson, Gunner and Bobby Roode, as the three men who were victorious from Sacrifice. Here’s the thing I like, and yes this “spoils” it a little, but obviously storyline wise, it was Dixie Carter who screwed Bully Ray out of his Tables match, and so therefore MVP overlooked Bobby Roode’s victory. Yet allowed him to participate regardless. And they let Roode win. Roode defeated Gunner and went on to Challenge EY, that’s awesome. They in one move downplay his credibility, but then let Roode without cheating show how legit he is. I respect that. And that draws me into liking Roode (not that I’m not a big enough fan as it is).

To determine who battles EY, Anderson, Gunner and Roode each drew a Card, the two lowest numbers go to battle, and the highest number (Roode) faces the winner of the first match, with the winner of that match taking on Eric Young in the Main Event. A semi little tournament thrown together. And it’s great.

Sure Impact was a little “promo” heavy to kick off the night, and in all honesty I like it when Promo’s are unexpected.

Magnus made his way to the ring to moan about being left out of MVP’s little tournament. But Abyss stood in the crowd stalking his former “employer”. Yup, they still haven’t told us if Abyss is employed or not, which sucks. Mainly because he was never unemployed before. A good way to tell a story is to actually tell all of it, not just make stuff up that you never told and expect people to go along with it. Though I suppose we don’t have any choice but to go along with it.

Magnus and Abyss went at it, brawling, till Magnus escaped the fight. What was unexpected and most awesomely awesome was this guy I believe was called “Brad”. A scruffy British… scruff, and former good friend of Magnus who told him that he has lost who he is, and his suits are stupid. He even said Magnus is stupid and a shell of his former self, because now he has money and success, rather than going around pubs drinking looking like a homeless man. I think the word Brad was looking for, rather than “you’ve changed!” is “you’ve grown up”. Which I think is awesome about Magnus, and currently that puts him in a higher opinion for me, than he being some typical English drunken hoodlum. But new characters are always cool, especially with a violent “past”.

Going for the win for the most non-Wrestling segments on a Wrestling show this week did win, the third segment saw Bully Ray carrying a Table to the ring with “Dixie” spray painted across it. I do like however that Bully just brought it to the ring, pointed it out and pretty much said “By the end of the night, you’re going through that Table!”.

What I would have preferred is for this segment to just crash a Match, for no reason have Bully come out. That would work better for me, and break up the “chattiness”.
Anderson vs. Gunner

There really isn’t much to say about this. It was a rather short lived match. What did stand out to me though was Anderson. Anderson has been a little lost in the murky mid-cards since dethroning Bully Ray from The Aces and Eights. Whereas Gunner has been pushed to the Main Events, even battling for the World Championship.

Put them both together, despite that Anderson is the more experienced, Gunner still feels like he should be the betting man’s choice just given his recent Run. Yet having them both in the ring together, I found myself more on Anderson’s side. Which surprised me. I like Anderson a lot, I do think his best place was within The Aces and Eights, but he does seem to be in a better place recently, at least in his matches. He carried himself really well against Gunner, and that just makes me wish Anderson was perhaps given more room to be “Anderson” on a platform that meant something.

In a weird twist Ending, Storm got involved yes “again”… James Storm TNA business 2

Only Storm “missed” and ended up costing Anderson the match. He attempted his running kick to the back of the head in the Corner, but because Gunner reversed the momentum and threw Anderson in the Gunner, Storm ended up attacking Anderson, leading to the Hanger 18, and Gunner picking up the Victory.

Of course this pretty much just means Anderson is now going to feud with Storm and there is nothing else in it than that. But it’s a little lame that, that is the only way they can think of starting a rivalry. Though on the flip side, it’s far, far better than Angle’s “My son paints his face like Jeff”.

Seriously.
Ethan Carter the third vs. Spud – Exhibition Match

There is something superb about EC3 and Spud together, and Spud’s natural talent easily makes you like him the most, and more. EC3 is doing great work though, and he and Spud talking through the “don’t try this at home” speech was classic.

What was even better was Spud dressed as 2002 era Kurt Angle, shortly after having his head shaved. Angle Spud

Though to bring the mood down, Kurt Angle showed up, said he is finally going to face EC3 next week, and he’s going bring the pain.

What is a pain is Kurt Angle, he’s at the WWE return game again. When asked “if you were to go back to the WWE, who would you want to face” and his reply was “if?”.

That just pisses me off. And it pisses me off as a Fan, I’m sure there are a lot of people backstage in TNA who this just rubs the wrong way. Why pay a guy when he doesn’t want to be there. Get up, get packed, get out. Looking forward to when he’s gone if I’m honest, I like Kurt, I respect him, I respect his decision to go back, I understand it. Just don’t parade it everywhere, to me, it comes across incredibly insulting with regards to TNA, a company I care about. You don’t want to be there, fine, go away.
Gunner vs. Bobby Roode

Rather than having Gunner take on Roode straight after, and or Roode taking on EY straight after, there was a good bit of breathing room between every match.

Whilst on the topic of Gunner, I do want to say that they have done a great job with getting him over, and that he does a great job too. I still think there is more room to grow. It’s a little weird seeing someone as Scruffy as Gunner trying to get the crowd rallied and them behind him. He just doesn’t look like a “good guy”. He’s tough, built, battle tested, violent, scruffy looking. I honestly think if he tweaked his look to fit his Gimmick, he’d have something great. Go with the Army thing, I’d keep the colours, but change his attire. Make him a “warrior”. Gunner Warrior

His ring jacket is awesome, throw in some more unusual Wrestling attired but themed with the Army colours, add some Camouflage face-paint type of design, and you’re onto something pretty awesome.

Something I haven’t seen before was when Roode ran Gunner forward into the ropes, Gunner holds on, leans back causing Roode to fall and Roll backwards. Seen that plenty of times, but as Roode was rolling back onto his Knee’s Gunner had caught up with him and dropped him with a DDT. That was fantastic!

Though of course in the end Bobby Roode picked up the Win with his “Roode Bomb”. I do wish he chose a better name.

Dixie made her way to the ring after showing no concern to Bully Ray and his threats.

Dixie was surrounded by Security, three with her and a line to block the entrance way to the Ring. She was bragging about being the only woman in history to ever put Bully through a Table.

Long story short Bully came out, talked the Security round to getting out of his way, beat up on the Three guys in the ring and was face to face with Dixie.

After placing Dixie between his legs setting up for a Power-Bomb, MVP came out to stop the whole Segment.

I doubt they’d put Dixie through a table. I know they are wanting to build Bully as a big part of the show going into New York. No doubt having him against the Authority of Dixie is the plan. This is the problem with TNA, they recycle the same thing a few times without ever committing to an idea, and then it never see’s it’s true potential. Like they had an idea then changed their minds about who should be within it.

When Anderson first came back he was clashing with Dixie, and it was exciting, but never amounted to anything. AJ Styles, didn’t amount to anything. Most recently is of course Eric Young who was threatened to have a make-over, then didn’t amount to anything. And now it’s Dixie and Bully, which seems to at least have a direction. I think it’s the best choice so far, but who knows. Maybe Dixie will be going through a Table in New York?

Willow vs. Storm

This is one of those matches that feel “strangely placed”. Just having a Match on a card of this kind of clash, usually means something is in store to develop.

Especially considering they’ve been building Willow as a Character, but having him just come out to a Match, and come out first, feels a little strange.

I totally understand that Willow is a strange thing to get into, but I love it.

I think his theme is awesome, his look is awesome. And I love that Jeff is doing different moves under the mask. I know overall it’s pretty much the same onslaught. But it almost feels very old school Jeff Hardy with an unorthodox approach to high risk moves.

I hated Jeff’s adaption of the Twist-of-Fate which goes into a Stunner. I thought that sucked. I love the fall out Cutter, traditional move. However, currently as Willow, the Twist-of-Fate is done like the Stunner, only he holds onto the guy and stands back up himself. It’s weird, looks weird, and I like it.

Speaking of things I like, he did a Baseball slide and just slid out the ring in the same pose and dropped an Elbow drop on Storm who was on the floor! That was insane and awesome, and more of that!

The match escalated with the Steel Steps, and Storm reaching for his Beer Bottle, but Willow had his Umbrella…. yes that is a fair pairing.

Storm got pushy with the Ref, the match got thrown out and as Storm was leaving, guess what, Anderson got involved and Mic Check’d Storm to the floor.
DJ Z and The Bromans vs. The Wolves and Sanada

The Bromans had a good rant at MVP about how unfair Sacrifice was. And no, not for the last minute DQ rule, but for the 3 on 2 advantage they had, and it throwing off their offence and timing.

I actually didn’t write much down for this match, what I did Write was “FANTASTIC”.

This was a brilliant match, Wolves and Bromans have been tearing it up as it is, throw in Sanada and it was just fantastic.

People flying everywhere, great Tag-Team Wrestling, and how awesome are The Wolves?

This is the future of TNA, and it’s a future I am liking a lot!

Eddie Edwards dropped his Top-Rope foot-stomp on DJ Z to put him down, Sanada then landed his Moonsault and Davey Richards finished him off with the Final Foot-Stomp for the Win.

Watch This Match!

The Beautiful People – Beautiful Celebration.

Earlier on in the night Angelina had reportedly gotten a letter from the board of directors regarding her recent win as Knockouts Champion. Stating that now she is the champion she must show a more appropriate manor, for her actions reflect the Company.

Of course she and Velvet were not going to do that, and the main source of problems were of course their “attire”.

Angelina and Velvet turned up to this “celebration” in formal gowns, only to pretend to Strip off. By just removing their gloves, and then laughing about fooling everyone.

Yup, they wrote the letter themselves and used it to tease a striptease. I don’t see how any of this fits a Celebration.

Anyway, Gail Kim confronts Angelina, which is pretty awesome to have Gail turning face. She’s been Heel ever since she came back, and for her to represent the Knockouts Division makes sense, and so naturally she turns against those more “bad” than she is.

Gail goes on the attack, reaching for their Gowns to undress them, needless to say, they both escape.

But are then met by Brittany and Madison who Strip them both instead…. Yup, that happened.
Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young – World Heavyweight Championship

EY is awesome! I do fear he will be turned against, but he’s been a fan favourite for so long that I hope that isn’t the case. Having him front and centre and actively defending the belt is a good idea to keep him fresh and respected.

Not to mention that he with his awesomely wacky music amongst “EY” Chants, and standing tall on the Ropes holding the Belt over his head – it just works.

Earlier on in the night EY had a backstage interview where he said that Roode is the best guy to take Championship from him. Obviously the history between these two is great, and I’d actually really like that to be taken to a higher level.

Roode and EY feuding for a little while would be great.

Again going back to the fact that regardless of MVP playing dumb to Bobby Roode’s credibility, he himself backs it up, and so do those around him. I like that.

EY once again pulled out a Pile-Driver, which looked Horrible, though Roode obviously was fine. But still, it just unsettles me to watch.

EY kicked out of a Roode Bomb but in the end it was EY’s top-rope Elbow Drop which got him the victory.

A very good match between the both of them, but what was the best thing to happen, was EY extending his hand out to Roode, and picking him up.

Nothing more than that, but that was enough to make everyone feel good! Not sure what direction this is going in now, but I certainly like the mutual respect, and general respect being placed on Roode.

As much as this show was packed, next week looks to be a full card too!

EC3 vs. Kurt Angle

The Bromans vs. The Wolves – Tag-Team Championship – Ladder Match

and the Debut of The Menagerie

I am actually really looking forward to the Debut of Knux’s new stable of wild animals with a Circus, Carnival twist.

Till then,

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

www.thesteelchair.com

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

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The Jobber Blogger #89 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 30/1/14

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The Jobber Blogger

Welcome to the Jobber Blogger #89! The second proper instalment over on TheSteelChair.com and like always I ramble on endlessly about nothing!

Though perhaps nothing isn’t quite at hand here, as TNA embark on yet another (I’m sure to be awesome sell out) UK Tour, the question at hand is this: does it really matter?

I think the short answer is no. Nothing TNA does matters, Wrestling History is going to go on with them or without them, and unfortunately the WWE is always going to the power that controls the History of the Industry. Lots of rumours floating around that Sting is about to Sign a WWE Legends deal, everything from him just being involved with a WCW DVD to the Launch of the WWE Network and their WCW Content. To him being RAW’s General Manager and all kinds of stuff. Now this seems to be the most “official” word yet of Sting and WWE actually coming to terms, I would even go so far as to say that Hogan’s recent TNA departure and WWE involvement would partially be life line between Sting and the WWE also. I guess what I’m getting at, is if Sting goes to the WWE, he will be looked upon for all of his work outside of the WWE… in WCW. The WWE don’t care how many times he’s been TNA Champion, how many years he’s worked for that promotion, they won’t even blink an eye that he’s in the “Hall of Fame”. It just didn’t happen.

That’s the thing that bugs me the most, see I love TNA, that’s well documented, but if Bobby Roode went to the WWE, sure some people would know of his work, but it would never be mentioned. When Booker T went to WWE via the buyout of WCW – he was credited with his Five Time World Heavyweight Championship reign. All of the WCW guys carried their legacy, hell even ECW carried their legacy, and that was a terrible promotion.

But TNA, who had all the right faces, and all the right ingredients, they just don’t affect the WWE, Ric Flair returns with no mention of TNA (aside from his now infamous WWE 2K14 Panel with Foley) when Hogan returns, there will be no mention, when Kurt Angle inevitably returns, he will have just “Been gone” for several years. No one cares.

They’ve even said if AJ Styles were to wind up in the WWE he would be a mid-carder at best despite he carries a huge weight of Wrestling Greatness through-out the industry, to the point where Kurt Angle left the WWE purely to Wrestle Styles. It’s like everything TNA is doing, should they one day go out of business, it was all for nothing.

If they could gather the ratings and pull in higher numbers, WWE would have to pay attention. And one could think that this is the current trend in Wrestling today. Like any Wrestling fan I’m reading and trying to find out what’s going on with the Royal Rumble / Daniel Bryan / Batista and now of course CM Punk. Clearly the Daniel Bryan thing is a work, and it’s clearly working! Batista is just “one of those guys” from an era that wasn’t even that popular. I think he feels he’s a type of Stone Cold / The Rock, but nope, WWE sucked then and it sucks now. I never got on the Batista train, doesn’t appeal to me. And now the Wrestling Audience is smarter than ever, they know guys like Bryan and Punk work hard for their slot on the show, and then they lose it to some muscle bound Hollywood type who can’t Wrestle half as well purely because his name might carry some “cache”. Least he isn’t as insulting as The Rock’s “triumphant return” for those who grew up watching him to suddenly realise that he actually is terrible as a Wrestler.

Now in the same vein, I don’t look as CM Punk as anything special. I like Punk, but let’s not beat it round the bush, Punk got lucky as he was given the opportunity to “mouth off” and that’s what made his Career. Since then, he’s done very little till now. And only now is important because people don’t know if it’s legit or not, I would say it is a Work, but who knows? Even if it’s not he will go back to the WWE, no chance he’ll turn up in TNA, I’d love it if he did come to TNA, I think his look and style suits their product more so. But what would that mean to the Industry? Guess what, nothing. I bet over half of the WWE’s audience don’t even know TNA exists. And those who do, would probably tune in to see Punk, then tune right back out again. Their viewership would increase, but I don’t think it’s a wise investment. Punk would go back to the WWE, he wouldn’t be loyal to TNA, I don’t even think he likes TNA. His first stint there wasn’t very good, so I don’t think he’d be in a rush to go out. People who question if TNA could “afford” him is ridiculous, TNA are stupid with Money and they paid Hogan more than WWE offered him, and he still left. That says it all really.

TNA always struggle to capitalise on what they have, and granted they are smart enough to listen to their fans, but everything they do just ends up being subpar. I hope they do something great, but I just don’t think they will. If these rumours about Sting are true, then I would say that AJ Styles and Jeff Jarrett have officially left the company, and then if that is true, then TNA are in serious trouble.

Anyway, without this turning into a huge rant about why I like TNA, what TNA does wrong and why I don’t like the WWE, let’s just get down to the business at hand!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 30/1/14

Yes, for the first time ever TNA Impact airs in the UK before the US. And it came straight from Glasgow Scotland, though they did label it as “LIVE!” it wasn’t. But that doesn’t really matter.

What matters is simple, TNA should just get a home over here and film it in the UK because it looks like a force to be reckoned with when they Tape over here, they pack out of the Arena’s (even on the Camera’s side) and they have crazy crowds. Of course I’m not being entirely serious.

Not to mention they did have some Audio problems through-out the broadcast, but least they didn’t Tape it and then Dub the Commentary on top of it, and I hope they don’t do that for the rest of the Taped shows, because it ruined it for me last year.

Magnus kicked off the show and was met with a sea of “Boo’s!” which I was a little surprised by. Though as he did point out, it is Scotland. I would imagine he would be cheered when they get to the UK Shows.

What made me laugh in a type of “ironic” way, is that Magnus and Dixie Carter represent what the Internet have always said TNA should do. As he put it “thinning of the heard / putting the old stars out to pasture to make room for the new”. And yet this was met in a negative light. Though for years everyone’s said that TNA’s downfall is all of these old guys that they bring in for hopes of a Ratings boost, and now look. Hogan and Bischoff have gone, Sting has gone, Nash has gone, Steiner’s gone, Bookers gone, Foley’s gone. Who is left? Angle is going to leave, and I can’t wait to slam the door behind him. You could make a case for Bully and Hardy, but Bully has had his best years in Wrestling in TNA, he isn’t the same guy he used to be, and thank him for being Loyal to them. Same can be said for Hardy, he’s had the best two years of his Career in TNA and he’s in a much better place in his life than he’s ever been before.

So the people get what they want, but they aren’t happy.

Such is life – C’est la vie, Monge tu and Duck a l’orange

EC3 stepped up to get in the face of Magnus when he claimed to “single handily” rid TNA of Styles, Hardy and Sting. The first of a few confrontations between the two. Angle and Joe however crashed the segment and despite Dixie Carter not giving her blessing – it all boiled down to a match – Magnus and EC3 (who Magnus handpicked I might add) vs. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe – Contracts vs. Number One Contender Shot

I think Spud said it all really

Spud swears

 Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa vs. Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne

Even writing that I wrote Gail Kim and Madison Rayne, subconsciously I combined those two together more so than Velvet and Rayne. Not having the Beautiful People in TNA is a sacrilege. Of course having them in TNA without Angelina Love is a far worse crime. Also nice job on the Video Edits of Velvet and Rayne together (without Angelina).

Madison Rayne suits spoiled little jealous Blonde Girl so much more than she does her current role, just as The Beautiful People suit Heels far better than a Face faction.

Though how could anyone be angry at someone who had a hand in accidently hitting Earl Hebner in the face. Velvet hit her (bad) Bulldog on Gail for a two-count but when Gail kicked out she raised her hand and hit Earl in the fact,… that’s a lol moment.

Gail hits Earl

Madison hit a spear on Gail out of no-where, Velvet finished Gail off with “In Yo Face!” and took the win. Before I go on about how short this match was, I just had a brilliant thought. I Hope and Pray that X-Pac – Sean Waltman wrestlers somewhere in the indies, and does his X-Factor, for someone in the crowd to tell him off for stealing Velvet’s move! If there is a God in Heaven! Please! Let this happen and be on Video! Some child telling him off for stealing a Woman’s move would just be hilarious and the icing on the cake for his so-so career.So yeah, once again the team of the best Female Wrestle in the world, and her huge gigantic powerful scary body guard, were defeated by Wrestlers who can’t Wrestle and let’s face it, Velvet can’t even run the ropes right after all these years. I love them all dearly, but at times it’s just a little too “fake” to be believed.

velvel

Chris Sabin heads to the ring afterward to do the great “Bad Guy” move… but also had me laughing like crazy of “Say you’re sorry now, and we’ll go in the back and you can give me a massage”. Just like the short lived run of Joey Ryan who had the best line when he chose to introduce Matt Morgan rather than Hemme when he told her to go make him a sandwich. Needless to say, Velvet told him that they are over and left.

James Storm and Gunner vs. Bad Influence – Gunners World Title Briefcase on the line

James Storm had the worst segment on the show, though it was made slightly better by some guy in the front row making Animal Noises. He could have been cheering but I haven’t heard anything like that before. Storm called out Gunner to “put an end to this”.

And then we were subjected to this horrible segment where they made Bro-Love with doing things for their families and blah blah blah, and when Gunner was in the Marines, and blah blah blah, and then Scotland fans started chanting USA. And what the hell was happening?

I’m sick and tired of the whole “I did this for my Family!” speech, can’t you just do it for yourself. Am I supposed to think that you’re struggling to pay your pills and put food on your plate. I manage it by working 12 hours a week in a Cinema, I’m fairly sure you’re getting paid a hell of a lot more than me. If you can’t make that work then perhaps you should consider changing your life style. And not buy the most expensive Cheese and 1837 Bottle of Wine for your evening of “fine dining”.

What happened to them just chasing a Career in Wrestling, you want to be a Wrestler, you want to be the best guy, awesome, go out there, win the World Championship and do it for your own damn Career and legacy. I don’t want to watch sad back stories in my Wrestling show about how you can’t buy your children 3 games consoles and then afford to send them to the best School in the country and buy them a Porsche for their Graduation present.

I feel this is going to be a good Ranting episode, just wait till I get to Kurt Angle!

Thankfully Bad Influence got involved and so I bring back the long forgotten but most fabled element of my Blog:

kaz word 7 new

I’m now hoping Storm renames his character – The Monkey Fart James Storm and together with Gunner their Tag-Team name can be – Beard with no Brains. I’m game.So this of course ended in a match – with Gunner once again putting his Briefcase on the line. Funny because when he first decided to do it, Dixie had a issue with it, but then agreed as a way to make him pay for interrupting her. Since then Gunner has been defending it left right and centre.

The idea is that Bad Influence told Gunner he can’t trust James Storm, and much to everyone’s dismay, Storm didn’t do anything untrustworthy.

Gunner was impressive as always and worked with Storm to win – with a top rope Head-butt none the less. Then Storm and Gunner celebrated their victory and left for some more Bro-Loving…. beard style.

Earlier on in the night Kurt and Joe singled out Bobby Roode and threatened him so he wouldn’t get involved in their match with their contracts on the line. This led to Roode giving Dixie Carter an ultimatum. Roode only helped get rid of AJ and Sting for a Title Shot, and Roode demanded it be at Lockdown, and until that is agreed, he won’t be doing anything to help Dixie or Magnus further. Makes sense.

Spud was sent on an errand to find out who this “Investor” is, and do that he called out the Wolves.

Again, Spud stole the show, he got in their faces screaming and claimed to have seen a good bit of American television and tried to interrogate them with his torch. Till he just slapped Davey Richards I believe, and then was dropped by the Wolves and a double team move.

The Wolves had pretty good music, and I do look forward to them being used in the ring (which is coming up soon I believe).

 

 

Abyss and Eric Young vs. The Bromans (w/DJ Zema Ion) – World Tag-Team Championships

I am confused now.

I think there is a piece of this story missing. Park was still Park, even in Monsters Ball, and after Monsters Ball, then last week he showed up as Abyss… there was no “connection”. So is he now just Abyss and Park is no more. Or are we going to find out they are two different people. And why the hell did they stop trying to make sense of it all with Bully Ray.

I also don’t get why they got a Tag-Team Title Match. And I still think EY should go for a Mad Scientist look.

The match looked as if EY was in control of Abyss, till then Abyss just had enough and cleaned house including taking out some British Referee who had his 15 Mins of fame I’m sure.

Abyss then Choke Slammed EY and went crazy. Leading to next week’s Abyss vs. EY – Monsters Ball match, which is supposed to be the final part in EY’s plan.

I don’t really know what I want to happen anymore, probably just get Abyss back, though one would question why someone would chose to do that. And they’ve opened up a lot of good “horror movie” type stories, but then just walked away from them. So as always, they probably won’t capitalise on their potential.

Christy Hemme and Samuel Shaw had another segment, where they were at his house. I’m sure that wasn’t his house, because it looked terrible. Maybe they do get paid really badly and so I should apologise to Gunner. Either way, speaking of things being stupid, Shaw had his hand in the Candle which he didn’t realise. That’s a character trait. And it’s going to come in handy when he fights… flame man?

Still, Shaw then went to his room with a piece of Christy’s hair and put it on this Mannequin Doll he has of her in his Shrine Room.

Do you think somebody ought to tell him she posed for Playboy?

I like segments like these, but it’s where Wrestling crosses over into Television and it doesn’t work. It’s supposed to be as if the Camera men are following these two on their time off. That’s fine, but then why would a Camera man be in his secret closet. It makes no sense. Clearly Christy is capable of watching the show and therefore would have seen all of this anyway. It’s not TV, it’s Reality Entertainment. It’s a strange mix, that just makes you not buy into things, and then it makes even less sense. Like having a Motorcycle Gang without Bikes whose slogan is about Walking… WHAT!!?

 

 

 

 

Bully Ray makes his way to the ring pushing out a Coffin, then went on to talk about all the things he “used to be” and that Anderson took them all from him. The coffin symbolises the burial of The Aces and Eights and everything Bully stood for, so it is fitting that this culminates in a Casket Match. Or “Coffin Match”. Not to be mistaken for the “Coughing Match” which is entirely different.

Anderson and Bully got into another fight, but I am glad to see this type of Match. Sure it’s a silly gimmick match, and part of me wonders if Bully could actually fit in the Coffin he had with him, smart game plan really.

I do wonder where they both go from here, but I look forward to watch it unfold.

Magnus and Ethan Carter the third vs. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe – Contracts vs. Number One Contendership

Basically, if Angle or Joe lost, they leave TNA. And if Angle or Joe pin either Magnus or EC3 they get a World Championship shot.

The investor added the stipulation that if anyone interferes in the match they will be fired. I still need to buy those shares, buying shares sounds great. I could buy a share in TNA and start demanding things.

Earlier in the night Magnus spoke to EC3 about how he doesn’t like him, and that he has to Team with EC3 and should he lose he must defend his title. Which is sort of silly, as Magnus agreed to the stipulation and also chose EC3 to be his partner.

That aside, I actually love that Magnus is a fighting champion. Sure he has a lot of help, but he’s not running from fights, he’s demanding them. He also isn’t afraid to show that he’s happy to be the face of TNA, but that doesn’t mean he likes who he’s aligned with, but he will do whatever he has to, to further his Career… I respect that. Screw this for my family crap.

The good news is that Samoa Joe made Magnus tap-out. That’s good because I always wish Joe was more old school. He was intimidating to watch when he first showed up in TNA, it was shortly after I finished up with my “Wrestling Training” attempt and I remember thinking “screw getting in the ring with this guy”. Joe was a force, and I felt sorry for his opponents. It wasn’t till I saw him in a Q&A I attended a year later where he seemed like a great guy outside of the ring. The last few years or so, Joe has been a shell of his former self, so I’m glad to see him be the one to get the Title Shot, though I do think Joe will be fired shortly after ala AJ Styles. But if Joe came back full force, undefeated, quick matches, impactful moves and unstoppable, I’m on board for that journey.

The highlight would be Dixie leading Spud to the ring holding hands and Spud keeled over from his attack earlier on in the night. What is more interesting is that Joe stated he and Angle will be staying in TNA for a long, long, time.

Now Angle has always said he would go back to the WWE, but of late he’s been saying “I can’t lie to myself any longer, I want to go back”. Well good riddance. I like Kurt, but if he doesn’t want to stay with TNA, to help build TNA, then leave. His pay check can go toward getting new talent or better invested in something to build the product.

What is more ridiculous is that Kurt now wants to be in the TNA Hall of Fame, asking Dixie to roll out her Chequebook and induct him, and invite the new investor.

So let’s get this straight, Kurt Angle, who has had a great run in TNA, gets arrested for DUI… again, and leaves for rehab. Upon returning he has beef with Bobby Roode who says Angle isn’t Hall of Fame material…. then Angle rejects the Hall of Fame.. proving Roode to be right… but still has a problem with Roode… despite he was right, and Angle showed it.

Angle then says he needs to cement his position within TNA once more, and win the World Championship once more, which to me, says “hey, I screwed up, I made a mistake, I went to rehab, but I’m back to be the best!”. So Angle injures himself and loses countless matches, then barely wins a Cage match against Roode by “falling” and then Joe wins the Tag-Match and gets a World Title Match.. and it’s then that Angle feels he has proven himself to be Hall of Fame Worthy?

Are you kidding me.

Angle hall of fame standards

That was Kurt’s Road to Glory and Journey to the Immortals. He’s happy with a losing streak, a close victory and a win by his Partner. That’s enough for him to want to be in the Hall of Fame? I still don’t get how he beating Roode by falling faster than Roode crawled is “winning the war” after Roode beat him three times in singles competition alone. I would revoke the Offer and tell him to get lost. Speaking of Revoking the offer, Dixie had a fit and shouted for this Investor to turn up. And he did, being MVP. Surprising everyone.  Well least he tried, but everyone was expecting it. And much to my dismay, I actually rather enjoyed it, and I look forward to seeing what happens next week.

Least TNA have learnt from that horrible “August 1 Warning” flop in their face.

So a good show, even if I had a good rant!

I’m sure Storm will turn on Gunner, and I hope to see MVP and the Wolves next week and look forward to more twists and turns in the road.

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

www.thesteelchair.com

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

 

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The Jobber Blogger #84 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 2/1/14

Jobber Blogger logo2

Welcome to a Brand New Year! And unlike the opening sentence, nope there is nothing new at all about this blog. Well aside from the fact that it is written about this week’s TNA: Impact of course.

I do hope everyone enjoyed their New Year celebrations, and given my opening Paragraph said there was nothing new, there actually is! No better way than to start the year with a double bluff! Happy New Year! Got you, it’s only 11:57pm! In the face, in the drink and down the stairs!

So yes, News! I like news, it’s interesting, entertaining and oh wait, I don’t actually watch the news. I do however keep up to date with Wrestling “news” and Video Game news, and then that about covers my Worldwide knowledge of global happenings. A possible Guardians of the Galaxy or new Spider-Man Cartoon? I’m in! Take that War!

Well it’s officially taken me 3 attempts to spread the news, The Jobber Blogger is expanding! From this point on his words of wisdom and cultural disdain will spread the IGN Blogs to CageAmateurs UK (Strike/Tap and Grapple) and now onto the new Sandy Shores of TheSteelChair.com

Bring on 2014 like a Flying Wad of Cashing straight into the pocket! I’m selling out!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 2/1/14

Yep, it’s the first show of 2014 says TNA, but it’s not though really is it. This was filmed over a Month ago. And so is next weeks, so don’t go spoiling it for yourselves. If you want a lovely way to stay up to date with TNA News, head on over to facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind and call in on the TheSteelChair.com for articles about said news! And eat your way out of that Holiday Depression!

Apparently I found the opening video of Impact rather funny this week, though I don’t remember why, so excuse me whilst I refresh my memory. And now I’m back! I feel like how I imagine Lindsay Lohan feels after she awakens from yet another desperate attempt to further her career, yet can’t remember the night before and searches for it on the Internet.

Impact’s opening Video was a strange mixture of Comedy meets Excellence. No, you can’t have both. With such phrases like “From the United Kingdom, that means, He’s British!” “To rule under Dixie, forever, and ever, amen”. What kind of weird thing is this.

Ah, alas the humour is wasted unless presented in a Visual form. Maybe…. nah.

So Kurt Angle kicked off Impact this week, and I guess he’s suffering from a Lindsay Lohan situation to, for he didn’t seem sure of his own name and perhaps feared people had forgotten it also. “My name is Kurt Angle”, ah, the whole thing reeks of Scripted Television.

Kurt Angle is my name

Angle felt 2013 was the worst year of his Career, and in order, I quote “Beatings from The Aces and Eights and Personal Problems”. Well The Aces and Eights was a storyline and therefore your Job, the personal stuff he did on his own. Either way Bobby Roode soon crashed the segment hoping Kurt was about to “Hang-Up his Boots” but much to everyone’s dismay, he didn’t.

No, instead they made a Steel Cage Match for Genesis, Angle vs. Roode, if Roode wins Angle must leave and never accept the TNA Hall of Fame induction. So I guess this time, Angle will actually Win. Though who knows, maybe Roode will. Either way I feel Angle will be inducted into the Hall of Fame this year and therefore this whole Storyline resulted in a way that they had another Year under their belts to think of who else they could induct, seeing as they have no-one else. Obviously they have tons of guys who should be there, but they are in their Prime, it’s more of a “end of career” thing. Still Roode and Angle closed it out with a fight, coz it’s Wrestling and that’s what they do. So Rockstar Spud made a Tag-Team match where they both get to chose their Partners.

Gail Kim (W/Lei’D Tapa) vs. Madison Rayne

So it’s another Open Challenge, but I’m sure the rules were to anyone outside of TNA, and Madison is on the Roster (I presume). That’s why Gail didn’t fight ODB under the Open Challenge ruling, so it makes no sense. Still, Tapa had an expression on her face like she was ready to beat down on Gail Kim…

Tapa uh oh

Either that, or she just suddenly had the biggest Bowel Movement of her life. That means Poop. How Big you say?

Tapa This Big

As normal, I made very few notes during this match. I wrote down that Madison has improved in the ring… I hear being Pregnant will do that to you. Also as I wrote down “she has improved” she made an error in the ring. But still, the main statement rings true. Not sure if she works as a Face yet though.

The main note I made was that her Outfit sucks. It’s like she’s trying to hide something, perhaps after becoming a Mother she realised that she was hitting Middle Age and rushed off down to her local Tattoo shop to cash in on a nifty Drawing of her Favourite Nolan-Batman Villain.

Madison tattoo

I can’t wait for the New Batman movies, Nolan’s films were rather dull. But without going on a big rant, let’s all just agree that Nolan is hugely over-rated.

In the end however, Madison managed to Pin Gail once more by countering her Eat Defeat into a Backslide and winning.

Chris Sabin (w/Velvet Sky) vs. Austin Aries – X-Division Championship – Rematch

I haven’t really thought about this before, but if Aries beat Sabin for the belt, Sabin cashed in a Rematch, won the belt back, therefore Aries shouldn’t have a Rematch? Right? Because otherwise they will be in a continual loop. Unless of course Aries was “screwed” out of the Title.

Sabin and Velvet continue to show how bad of a couple they are. To be honest, I didn’t need to see Sabin treat her badly for me to come to that conclusion. Just put Velvet Sky next to Chris Sabin and it looks like a mismatch. Velvet is attractive of course, but then the Tramp Stamp and sluttiness of her character degrade that, pair that up with how she looks outside of the ring and she looks worse, then I think Sabin is the type of guy who shouldn’t be with that kind of girl. Being the old Nerd / Popular Girl thing. Then on the other hand, Velvet does seem like a nice person, and Sabin has scruffy hair and a fuzzy face and really is a rather weird looking chap. And it’s like what’s going on?

The Story of this match is that Sabin wants to win with the Championship, and he wants Velvet to help him win, and if he doesn’t leave with the Championship after this match, then he will leave without her.

Aries was cooking on all cylinders, but then, he always does. And here’s a lovely Plug for my up and coming Best of TNA 2013 article, featuring my chosen “Match of The Year Nominees”

match nom

Aries hit his fast paced hard hitting Corner Dropkick on Sabin, and rather than capitalising as he always does, he shouted at Velvet to climb on the apron, which she did and Sabin then Low-Blowed Aries and Won back the X-Division Championship.

My problem with that is the whole Sabin seems fine after getting the Drop-Kick. Aries would have hit the Brain Buster by now, and yet Sabin spent the time just telling Velvet to do something rather than selling the move he would normally do. I get it from a Story-Telling perspective, it just breaks the flow.

Sabin then went on to Congratulate himself, which I commend.

Samuel Shaw vs. Norv Fernam

Well yet again Norv has awesome music, I couldn’t find it however and instead ended up watching more Clips of Brock Lesnar’s baby scream from Raw.

You know, Norv and Dewey had a far greater introduction to TNA than EC3 did, it was much more creative. Samuel Shaw, I think he is best summed up as “Meh” currently. He was “Meh” before, so I get the whole idea of letting him get some air-time as a new Gimmick. Seeing as the whole “Surf’s Up Dude” thing didn’t work for him, or Christian York. Least Shaw was somewhat more impressive in the ring, though I also don’t care. But he certainly has a Crazy Face, and if that’s what it takes to have a good career in Wrestling then so be it. I suppose a weird smart dressed Wrestler who has a crazy face and stalks Women is a new gimmick… right? I still think it would be far funnier if he carried around a Drawing Pad and coloured crayons and drew “dark / scary” pictures when he met people he didn’t like.

But Taz and Tenay did at least managed to mention that Shaw is a good Drawer, something which I seemed to have forgotten was relevant to being a Wrestling Fan.

It was your basic Squash match, though Shaw won with a Submission victory, so that’s at least nice to see a new Submission used to hopefully give him the wins.

scary picture

 Kurt Angle and Gunner vs. Bobby Roode and James Storm

I can’t help but feel they did this “Beer Money” reunion the wrong way, I suppose it’s probably because Roode is supposed to still be viewed as a Heel, and having the Crowd on his Side takes it away from Goody Too Shoes Angle. You know what I would like to see, I want Gunner to be proven right in the end, and that Storm is a paranoid dude who didn’t get that Gunner was trying to do nice things for him and Storm snaps and uses a Beer Bottle to smash over Gunner’s head to either win the Briefcase from him, or the Championship, putting Storm in the same shoes Roode once was. That could be a good catalyst to bury the grudge between Roode and Storm and be the starting of a Beer Money reunion properly. Just spit ballin’.

Gunner is becoming increasingly good, I like his look, I like his Ring Jacket. I like how he fired himself up smashing his face into the Turnbuckle. I think something really big could come from his potential. I said it from the get go, this pairing with Storm was to mould Gunner.

But that doesn’t put Storm in a good position though after Gunner is established.

I still feel strongly that Storm is in need of a Heel Turn, he was a good Heel, and he’s been dragging his Spurs on the ground for too long.

Angle never got the Tag in the match, as it was dominated by Roode and Storm, the whole match was weird having Face and Heel teaming on each side, they couldn’t go too far with Storm and Roode breaking the rules, especially if Angle was in the ring. Still Angle eventually had, had enough and tore it down with German Suplexes, Gunner then picked up Bobby Roode to finish him off with the “Gun-Rack” which then left him open for Storm to hit The Last Call Superkick on Gunner and Roode dropped him with his Death Valley Cutter thing I wish he named already, and Storm and Roode picked up the win.

They didn’t “Beer Money out” I assume to leave a gap between the Heel / Face of both guys, but it was a nice little match. The Gunner / Storm story is shaping up well also.

EC3 hit the ring to continue his “Winning Streak” after proclaiming to have changed the Wrestling industry. Which isn’t a good thing as most people who aren’t fans of TNA seem to Loath EC3. But seeing as Jeff Hardy left TNA last week, EC3 apparently contacted him via Twitter and Challenged him to a Match tonight, Jeff’s music played, but alas he didn’t make it to the ring, so EC3 counted him out. A clear sign Hardy obviously isn’t done with the Company, weird as Hardy’s role is linked the AJ’s and with Jarret leaving, it all just seems too suspicious for my liking.

Still, it wasn’t that Hardy didn’t want to accept the Challenge, as a matter of fact the only reason he didn’t make the Match was because he was on a Flight back to North Carolina at the time. To his credit though, he did attempt to leave the plane mid flight.

Jeff PlaneSting got in EC3’s face once more, taking a page out of Storm’s book and making everything “his business”. Sting just called EC3 a LapDog and wanted to Fight him. And eventually with the help of the Crowd EC3 accepted Sting’s Challenge for Genesis.

Bully Ray vs. Joseph Park

I am glad they actually addressed this, EY booked this match for Park given that it was 2 years ago this Week that saw Bully Ray vs. Abyss in a Monsters Ball where Bully led Abyss outside, and he disappeared from there on out. Leaving to Joseph Park turning up, etc. So it does appear that there might be answers to that question at the end of this Story somewhere. So I am optimistic currently!

Bully told Park before the match that he would hate to see him Burn for the Sins of Anderson, and in the match Bully just sprayed “lighter fluid” all over Park till Anderson turned up. Bully then sprayed “lighter fluid” all over Anderson and threatened to set him on Fire, then Bully left. So.. that was strange… but good also.

Which of course brings us to Magnus’ Coronation!

Spud did the main Introduction which was awesome, he’s really good in this role as Chief of Staff. Though it did drag a little bit toward the end…. then EC3 did yet another Introduction, which I have no idea why, that dragged even more and ruined the whole start of the Coronation.

Dixie then finally came out after two introductions and told the Story about how she found Magnus / Signed him and proud of him to represent her Company as her World Champion, so Magnus finally came out, after three introductions.

Magnus skipped the Usual heel turn promo “Why, Magnus, Why?” crap, though did fall into the “The Fans turned their backs on me!” crap. Who cares, I hate this thinking that “Bad Guys” need “Reasons”.

Gunner then crashed the Coronation demanding his World Championship Match, but that just led to Spud, EC3 and Magnus beating down on Gunner, and with Gunner pinned down Magnus was ready to hit him with the TNA World Championship when AJ Styles finally  came back.

It was a little on the nose with AJ’s return to TNA, very expected. Even if I didn’t know it happened before hand or not. AJ and Magnus shared words but at least Magnus still has a sense of Pride and accepts to fight AJ next week to determine the Official TNA: World Heavyweight Champion.

A clumsy ending, the pay off was still good, hopefully will be more so next week.

I can’t wait for Genesis so TNA isn’t airing things that happened ages ago, and we can keep up to date with it as it happens.

Till then.

 

Dan Wilkinson.

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

 

http://cageamateursuk.com

http://striketapandgrapple.com

The Jobber Blogger #83 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 26/12/13

December 30, 2013 by DiVineDiablo

Jobber Blogger New Year

Well it’s not Christmas Eve anymore, but then it’s not the New Year yet also, so it’s time to end the year with a bang! Least, from my perspective currently whilst Writing this blog, I hope it ends with a Bang. Not like my computer blows up, or someone knocks on the door or something, more like I hope this is a good one!

It’s been an Amazing Year folks, and thanks go out to all of those whom have Read my many ramblings in my first full year of doing this. It has flown by to be honest, and for anyone who wants to get into Writing and keeping up to date, then telling yourself you’re going to Cover a Weekly show is the way to do it. They provide the material, you sit back and make fun, and huzah! Let your Three Readers at best roll in to witness it all.

Well it’s soon to be a New Year, and like everyone, The Jobber Blogger hopes it brings new heights! And with certain plans in my pockets, who knows what might happen! Of course, until then, it’s time to do this for the consecutive Eighty Third time!

Impact Wrestling Logo

 TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 26/12/13

I suppose before we kick it into “Covering the Show” let’s plug Total Nonstop Rewind’s / Jobber Blogger presented – “Best of 2013”. Each day for the next week a new Category will go up on www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind where you can view, comment and vote on your favourites from the chosen Nominees. So go get yourself over there now!

newcomer nom

Speaking of best new comers, Nominee 2013: Rockstar Spud kicked off Impact this week, with new Entrance theme… even less Rockstar than before. I think it’s time for a name change. Spud as a name is something I despise, I knew a guy named Spud.. so it’s degraded because of that, my other half knew a different guy named Spud, a girl I went to Uni with got nicknamed Spud, so yeah, I despise the name a little. But you know what, Rockstar Spud has a lot of qualities to best resemble “Spud”. I once created a Wrestler back in the old “Smackdown” games called “Neon”. He was a “Edge” inspired guy, mixed with GTA: Vice City, which the Magazine spread I was reading had a whole article on how the 80’s Neon Glow of the City set the stage and tone of the Game. So then Neon was born, and he was kinda crappy. I liked the idea, but he needed a make-over, so he became Neon Red, and Dark Neon, etc, each persona carried his abilities and general theme, but over time his look and attitude changed (as it so does in Wrestling) and his name was versatile enough to make the transition with him. He then became “Devil Neon” to team with my top CAW – Wild Thing and they sported similar looks. Till of course, inevitably they broke up as a Team and were forced to battle each other over who keeps the image. Wild Thing won, being the original (though it literally could have gone either way) so poor Neon had to once again go under a new style, and lose the one gimmick that brought him success. And so he became Poisneon a mix on neon and poison, and re-branded himself ala Sting. A look which proved very successful.

Okay, so I shall stop talking about the insane amount of Hours I spent on my own Make Believe Wrestling Federation, where I filled every single available Create-A-Wrestler slot, and spent so many hours planning storylines and what not. My Nerdiness runs much, much deeper into my history of “Wrestling Federations”, I had Draws and Draws full of Wrestling Figures, and I used to plan out my Storylines “years” in advance, (a month was like a Week to me, so I get through a year pretty quickly). I then used to plan out RAW and SmackDown with matches, and interview slots, all of it to make sense for the right title changes and storyline development. I had many Note-Books full of PPV’s then when it got to the PPV, I used to set up my Tape-Recorder and do running commentary on it. I had a pile of CD’s on my left with my CD Player, I knew every track for which Theme, I knew every last Second of the Songs for the Right Entrance Music to the perfect “Winning Theme” point in the song. I had a load of Tissue Paper to elastic band round my desk light to create the right lighting for the Wrestlers. I had rolls and rolls of PVC tape I used to customise my figures for the right Wrist Tape and new Ring-Gear. I even made (with help) real fabric T-shirts for when I pushed my low-card guys to the Main Events. I had loads of elastic to make new and nifty Ring-Ropes, and I had loads of blocks of Polystyrene to create these huge (one of a kind) Stages for my PPV’s every Month. Well, top that off with my Video Game (CAWs) and eFed’s, then I think you get a pretty good idea of how Wrestling obsessed I was.

My figure Storylines peaked when I “retired / fired / quit” some of the guys from the WWE, and I had customised many of my old Figures to match the TNA guys, because back then Jaxxs made the WWE figures, and Matel I believe did the TNA ones (like the old WCW ones) so they did not match in size. So I customised the likes of Abyss, AJ Styles, Raven, Ron Killings, BG James, I retired Jeff Hardy, bought a new DDP, everything was getting ready for this big TNA Invasion and then I grew up. Change that with (I didn’t want to be embarrassed) and you have the real answer. So my TNA love goes back many, many years too. I really should get a job in the Wrestling Industry.

 

So anyway Rockstar Spud kicked off Impact this week with new music, how the hell did I get on that rant? Oh yes, name change. Spud suits him, Rockstar not so much anymore. I think if he went through “Changes / Gimmicks” Spud can stay intact, and he go back to being a Rockstar, and he can be Chief Spud, or something like that. It’s a Mick Foley esk character change, that works amazingly well. Mick himself put it best when he reverted back to Cactus Jack in time for his infamous Street Fight with HHH nearly 14 years ago!!!!! o.O

He went from Mankind to being Cactus Jack, and all he really did was “take off his shirt” but it’s the legacy and mind set he established with each gimmick that made him a New Character, and that Character was capable of different things. It’s an awesome idea that has only ever been done with Mick in Wrestling to any success. Not that Spud is the right guy for it, but that idea could certainly carry.

Spud was out to introduce the “Woman Responsible for everything” who is the equivalent of “Lady Gaga, Santa Clause and Queen Elizabeth” rolled into one. Which is strange, because Dixie Carter came out, and I was expecting someone more like

Queen Lady Santa

The running Gag being that Dixie had this big “Announcement” or in reality (a desperate struggle for Ratings) but before she could announce it, Jeff Hardy headed to the ring.

Jeff didn’t really have much to say, just going on about how he doesn’t care about Dixie, and Dixie’s “Champion” and blabbing on endlessly about being sick of everything. Spud however got in the face of Hardy, which is the more noteworthy part of Hardy’s involvement, noteworthy more so because I wrote it down in my notes. Still, Hardy throttled and threatened Spud, which is when EC3 attacked Hardy.

Dixie then went to finally make her announcement when Sting got involved. Sting’s whole point was that he is also “Sick and tired of these entitled punks” and demanded a match against them.

Which is where Dixie rejected the match, then made the match, and took credit for it. So that’s cool. The match being Sting and Hardy against Spud and EC3.

Gunner was then next in line to disrupt Dixie, wanting to Cash-In his World Title Shot against Magnus, but alas, Magnus was “abroad celebrating”.

And then Storm got involved stating Gunner owed him and wanted a Match for the Briefcase.

Storm is now getting more paranoid that Gunner was the one who tipped off Bobby Roode that he was in that Bar, and led to Storm getting beaten down, then got his ass kicked in the match with Roode, till Gunner “threw in the towel” Either way, Dixie agreed to letting Storm and Gunner fight it out for the Briefcase, and that being punishment for Gunner interrupting her, and therefore she isn’t going to make the announcement till later on in the show.

James Storm vs. Gunner – World Heavyweight Championship Shot – Briefcase

What do you call this Stipulation?

Anyway, the opening of Impact was actually pretty good, I liked the chaotic-ness of it all. Sure it was a tad anti-climatic but it worked well.

I was just about to get into this match, after noting Gunner is wearing is Iron Maiden attire again. Till of course, Tragedy struck.

I went to get comfy and inadvertently kicked my empty bowl of Noodles sending a stream of “Noodle Juice” across my carpet. The whole was like a horrible flash back to I believe Undertaker vs. Mark Henry many years ago on Smackdown (soon after he reverted back to the Deadman).I ran down in the commercial break to get a glass of milk and dropped the Milk… I have never, ever, seen anything like the mess it made. I literally covered every single Kitchen Cupboard in Milk. I just looked around with dripping Milk everywhere. The whole floor…. MILK! It’s safe to say I missed the match cleaning it up.

Least this time round I just pressed Pause, and cleaned the Carpet. But while I was at it, I figured I might as well get another Mug of Tea. Now I have this HUGE Mug, and trying to stir my boiling hot tea proved to be just as problematic. For I ended up dropping the Tea-Spoon into my mug, so to stir it, I needed the spoon, to get the Spoon I had to stick my fingers in boiling hot tea. Of course the Spoon is Metal, so even when I got the Spoon, it was boiling hot and I dropped it back in the Tea,…. many, many times. Sure I could have got another Spoon, or used a cloth or something. But you know what, screw it! I was determined to do it, and suffer! God Damn You Noodle Juice!

I since learnt you say that 3 Times in a Mirror and nothing happens. Maybe.

Noodle Juice

In the end though, Gunner Speared Storm through the ropes, and right then you could see how it was going to end. But alas, Storm bounced Gunner’s head into the Steel Steps when Hebner counted them both out. Funny how normally they do it so everyone pays attention, but when they want people to get counted out, they do it as quietly as possible. Still, it didn’t end there as Storm and Gunner carried on beating each other up.

But I don’t know if that’s such a good match for Storm, as Taz quite clearly said, Gunner is built like a “Brick Sh*t House”…. now that’s a Lego Set kids wouldn’t want for Christmas.

Brick House

Brooke and Bully shared a nice little segment, which might actually have been my favourite from this week’s show. It started with Brooke approaching Bully backstage and claiming to have not heard from him in weeks, and “Who is this?” she asks about his current persona. She then threatens to tell the World all his little secrets, to which he says “that’s not a good idea”.

But she goes to the ring anyway, she is now a “bimbo” or at best I could gather by her current gimmick. She’s always been a weird mix of awesome and slutty. And funny enough depending on where you stand on those boundaries, you will either find her entirely awesome or entirely slutty. Still, with new music she has ditched the “Don’t Mess with Tess” and become this more “biker ish, sort of, groupie”. But, I quite like it.

I think now is the perfect time for her to ditch the “Tessmacher” it’s been gone since she just became “Brooke” with The Aces and Eights, but just let her be Brooke Adams, it’s a good name.

Still, she refused to be held accountable for the demise of The Aces and Eights, even though she threw the Hammer, which Anderson caught and that led to his Victory, all of it was Bully’s plan, it just didn’t “go to plan”.

Bully then came out, with his 2003 Undertaker look

2003 taker

Bully quickly went from the Clay Morrow running the Club (minus the awesome ideas and great planning) and quickly has become the Clay Morrow with no club mooching around doing nothing.

Brooke encourages Bully to “Tell the Truth” which, who knows what that is. But what’s actually rather awesome is when Brooke shed light on the fact that she has watched him “Destroy and lose everything”. Bully is left with no Heavyweight Championship, no Club, no Brother, no Family, and that’s actually yet another really cool Character Development. Even if it is a little bit “AJ Styles”.

The fact she compared Bully to a “Weird High-School Kid with no Friends” is what topped the Segment for me. Now there’s a good Wrestling Gimmick they haven’t fully explored.

Bully then of course stole the segment by saying he doesn’t blame Brooke because “you’re not much in the Brains Department” “Kept you around for other uses, but you weren’t much good at those either”. The little “sometimes when we were together I used to picture Brooke number one” was an excellent cheap shot. Though Bully has one final use for Brooke, and that’s to spread his word.

Which is when the Segment got really good, and weird, and kinda cheesy as they played this ominous dark tone whilst Bully spoke about how “Evil” and “Sinister” he is, and that it’s only going to get “A lot Worse”.

So whatever they are building to with Bully should be awesome, no doubt going in a more Hardcore Direction, which seems fitting. Perhaps Tommy Dreamer plays into that with their match coming up soon on TNA’s One Night Only PPV.

Joseph Park vs. Bad Influence – Monsters Ball Match

If I can find it, I shall embed the Awesome Video Package they ran before this match. It was a great look at the whole Joseph Park / Abyss storyline, but it’s certainly running dry, which is why I fear they have just kicked it into over-drive to get it done with. Of course the bad side of that is I don’t think it will have reached its potential. Which is TNA’s greatest quote “It’s good… never reaches its Potential though”.

I’ve been saying it for years, TNA have great ideas and terrible execution with an even worse pay off.

EY got Park to enter with Abyss’ music, but they kept Joseph Park’s video. So that made a whole deal of sense.

Park kept Janice close, till of course Bad Influence knocked her out of Park’s hands, which is when they just beat him down for the majority of the match.

Speaking of beating things down, or even beating things in. Here’s a good plug for IGN’s Let’s Play with Christopher Daniels!…. yep, the whole wording of Beating, and then a title of “Let’s Play with Christopher Daniels” certainly paints a rather bleak image in one’s head.

IGN – Christopher Daniels – Let’s Play

Kaz was about to smash Park over the head with a Steel Chair till Daniels stopped him, so they didn’t make Park bleed, hence not bringing out his “Abyss mode”, strange how they’ve only just come to this conclusion a year later, and only because Eric Young pointed it out.

It was all a little odd, it mixed humour with this weird type of horror story thing. Obviously in the end Park tried to run away from Kaz and Daniels who were just beating him down till Eric Young came out to encourage Park. Though EY’s best efforts of “making him bleed” didn’t work out, in the end Kaz swung the Kendo stick which EY dodged and it busted Park open badly, sending him into Abyss mode.

Park then won the match with Blood everywhere and picked up Janice. So I don’t know if that means he is Abyss, or he has found Abyss or what. It didn’t involved barbed wire or thumb tacks, it didn’t really do a lot.

The thing is, if Park is only sent into this “Abyss” mode by seeing his own blood, why would you want to revert him back? Also if you want it to be a permanent thing, how is that going to work. Personally I think EY should just hit him over the head with different things to see which worked till it did. Though a weird mash up of a crazy Joseph Park with Abyss would be good. If the whole experiment went in a complete different direction and they made a hybrid, unstable, monster that tore through everything and everyone. That would be cool. I should write this show, I’ve got years of experience with Toys.

Lei’D Tapa (w/Gail Kim) vs. ODB

Gone are the days of “The Unstoppable Force meets The Immovable Object”  like the great Hogan / Andre battle. Nope, Taz summed this one up as “King Kong vs. OctoPussy” so that says a lot.

kong octopus

Before I go off into a semi-rant, let’s cut to the finish, Gail Kim slid the Knockouts Championship in the ring, which distracted the Ref, so when ODB picked up Lei’D Tapa to slam her, Gail pulled ODB’s hair and Tapa fell on top of her and got the victory.

I put “Weak” and underlined it twice.

Now what I mean by that, is Lei’D Tapa is built like a Female Wrestler we haven’t seen before. Sure we’ve had our Chyna’s and Awesome Kong’s and I’m sure there are similar Wrestlers like Tapa out in the indies. But on Television, Lei’D Tapa is “SOMETHING DIFFERENT”. For my money she’s better than Kong, she is built like the perfect giant, Amazon type. The way Matt Morgan was a giant built like a perfect Man, Tapa is the exact right proportion she should be, she’s just really Big. Now that makes her an attraction.

When she debuted she started by taking out all of the Knockouts with ease, now that was awesome. Then they made her Gail’s lackey and she’s been rather terrible ever since. Sure she would just be a Female in Squash matches, but the fact that Gail needed to help Tapa win? Now that makes her look incredibly Weak. The fact Madison Rayne beat Gail Kim last week, what the hell does that do for Lei’D Tapa.

You are going to have to flick a switch to be able to build her into what she is naturally built as. To say this was THE meeting between both Tapa and ODB it was forgettable. They should have devoted time to build it as a feud, to actually have suspense around their encounter. They missed every opportunity and in the process just flat lined Tapa’s potential.

During the show we had a “Rise of Magnus” video package that was Magnus talking about his journey to where he is now. It was one of those weird “Shoot / Work” videos, where he had genuine gripes of is shaky start and years spent to get somewhere. Mixed with the Work angel of his new Heel persona and cashing in on that opportunity to become the World Champion. With Magnus set to appear next week on Impact, I personally want to see him be full out Heel, new Music, new look, new attitude. I half suspect he will be, but time will tell.

Jeff Hardy and Sting vs. Ethan Carter the Third and Rockstar Spud and The Bromans (w/Zema Ion)

No you didn’t read that wrong, and yes you probably already watched the Show. Dixie finally made her announcement which if that got people to stay tuned to Impact and didn’t want to, then no, it was not worth their time. She purely said Magnus will be here next week. And then announced that The Bromans will be teaming with EC3 and Spud in this Handicap match.

Throughout the night Jeff has been a little off, Sting was trying to get him fired up, but Jeff didn’t seem to be biting. Then we saw him on the phone with his Wife Beth where he said “I need to do this”.

Anyway, Jeff hit a Senton Dive over the Ropes to take out everyone, so it made up for it. Also have I mentioned how good The Bromans are now that Zema is with them. I miss his DJ Desk, the idea of him making stupid noises and shouting out over the match is a highlight I want to see every week.

I guess the main story is that EC3 avoided fighting Sting, Spud avoided doing anything, which they are building this thing about Spud not actually being a capable Wrestler. Which I like, the work they’ve done with Spud in a matter of weeks has really paid off. He is perfect for this Role, and to have him seem like the “incapable” Wrestler is perfect. I never knew Steven Richards could Wrestle, I didn’t know that at all when Right to Censor first came on the scene. So to some, they won’t know anything about Spud, though Spud was Wrestling with the TNA guys 8 years ago in the UK, he’s been on the circuit a long time.

In the end though, Sting was cleaning house when EC3 caught him in a Roll Up from Behind and got the win. Which of course just annoyed Sting further, though with EC3 having a World Tag-Team Title Shot, I guess it’s quite obvious that Spud could indeed be his Partner. What is more interesting though is that they are friends with the Bromans, the Champions, so how they will resolve that issue will be interesting. It could be to turn Bromans Face if they refuse to “lose” to Dixie’s “boys”.

And then the show ended with Jeff apologising to Sting for last week, and for tonight. And did his really awkward screaming “I’m not buying into a single word your saying” speech where he said Dixie is driving him crazy (funny, because he went to meet with her two weeks ago, and clearly didn’t realise she was different then). He said he wants to Fight, but has no Fight left, and that he has Wrestled his Last Match for TNA – and then regrettably added “Until the Sun Shines on this Great Kingdom Once More!”. So much for going out with your head held high, just ruined a good speech.

Either way, this is the news that got people in a huff on the Internet about Jeff leaving TNA. The very idea someone in that crowd witnessed that Speech and thought he was actually leaving and it wasn’t storyline, just Baffles my mind. It is quite obviously Storyline and Jeff will be back at some point. Probably with AJ Styles, Chavo Guerrero, Sting maybe and Jeff Jarrett.

As they assemble to battle Dixie’s Power Trip. Hell, Hogan might even show up… hopefully not though, I don’t really miss him.

Here is my problem  though, sure this whole TNA Originals vs. Dixie Carter Power Trip thing is an awesome idea. Though it is still an invading Faction esk Idea. The bigger problem comes with the fact that having The Good Guys run the show is not anyway near as good as having the Bad Guys run the show. Dixie’s Heel Run has been some of the best work TNA has done, period. She is a great catalyst for everyone else to work off from, the friction between her and AJ was great. When Anderson came back and she was getting him arrested was awesome, shame that has died down. Hogan in charge was a little bit of a bore, so was Sting. So this is great currently. And she has EC3 and Spud who can take an Ass Kicking for her.

Still, whatever that are working towards excites me! And it should excite you too!

See you all in the New Year!

Till Then,

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

http://www.striketapandgrapple.com

http://www.cageamateursuk.com

The Jobber Blogger #82 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – FINAL RESOLUTION – 19/12/13

December 24, 2013 by DiVineDiablo

 Jobber Blogger Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! No, don’t be silly, I wouldn’t ever take the time out of my Christmas to sit at my computer and Write about Wrestling for hours. But I will do it on Christmas Eve!

So the principle is still the same.

We are nearing the end of 2013 and that means the “Best Of’s” are right around the Corner, I have been putting Pen to Paper and Eyes to Screens and Paper to Eyes and I drew on my Computer a little bit, all to figure out this Year’s edition of the Best of 2013. Unlike last year I will be doing “Nominees” instead of just picking and choosing, but alas, that isn’t this, and this isn’t that, and so let’s get ready to break down Final Resolution!

TNA Final Resolution

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – FINAL RESOLUTION – 19/12/13

Though on the surface it seems like this was a little “thin” on the Match front, but then I guess that does make sense given the fact it’s a TV Special and still only slotted into One and a Half Hours of Television. But on the flip side, it does mean it’s One and a Half Hours of Great Television. Though I watched it on my Computer.. through an HDMI onto my TV… so what does that count as? TV / Web / Stream?

Magnus kicked off the night with a nifty little “is Dixie and Jeff here yet?” backstage paranoia, then he just went to the ring to give them both something to “react” to.

See, I like Magnus, I always have, he’s full of potential, and I would have liked to see him carry the Television Championship (back when it was defended on TV) for a little while. In fact the TV Title is a great concept if they keep up with it. Still, that’s an argument for another day, (I also don’t miss it) but something about this Speech Magnus gave did “rub me the wrong way”

rubbed wrong way

Magnus went on to talk about how he “Loved this Business” but then he said something that stuck a little, “I can’t change where I’m from”. Now I don’t know how much of this was Written, it’s probably just to try and get the U.S fans on his side as a fabled “America is awesome!” and people eat it up despite its many, many, many flaws they seem to be utterly oblivious to. I’m sure Magnus is proud to be from England, but here’s the other side of that coin, TNA have since issued (spoilers) a Press Release about how Magnus is the first British World Heavyweight Champion (of this magnitude) in 108 years. So why would they write his speech as if he wanted to change where he was from?

Magnus Resent

Still, Magnus’ main problem… also on a side note, anyone actually stop and think that his name used to be Brutus, I just remembered that. That’s a “lol” moment and hopefully a future Bad Influence interaction.

So yeah, Magnus wanted to blab on about Jeff Hardy going to see Dixie at the end of last week’s show in her “VIP” banquet. He threw out phrases like “proud to work in America” “always been about Pride, Dignity, Respect” but can the same be said about Jeff?

Anyway, of course Jeff then hit the ring to set Magnus straight, which is funny because mere minutes ago he hadn’t arrived, but then he was there just in time to hear what Magnus had to say. Ahh, the fun of little gripes. Like a Perfect Meal with One Tiny Flaw you can Pick at all night…. (anyone?)

Anyway, the rest of the segment goes as you would imagine, Jeff being all defensive, to the point that the crowd were against him. Magnus brought up the 10/10/10 Immortal Heel Turn, and in the end Jeff just said “Worry about your own life, don’t worry about mine” and left.

This whole “Is Jeff in cahoots with Dixie?” angel plagued the entire show, and whilst I appreciate the effort of trying to cloud people’s minds and turn the tables so to speak on the “Good Guy”, it also opens up many plot holes. But I will get  back to that rant later!

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode – 2 out of 3 Falls

I shall let you in on a little secret, I actually sat watching this match thinking to myself “I like it when I’m surprised, but clearly, there’s no way Roode is winning this”.

And of course much to my surprise Roode actually picked up the first fall rather quickly, (rather quickly being a good phrase to describe this match also). After a timely “kick to the groin” Roode got the first fall under his belt in no time. Which obviously doesn’t mean much, it just goes to show the normal “formula” of the Heel on top and the Face fighting back.

What bugged me the more though was that only a short amount of time later, Angle pinned Roode with an Angle Slam. It came from a chain of moves, but it wasn’t anything special. Nor did he really “beat down” Roode to the point that he would be beat. So this whole idea of Angle can’t beat Roode was then changed when Angle beat Roode easily with doing very little. I would get it if Roode took a lot of punishment, or eventually tapped to the Ankle-Lock after gut-wrenching agony. But no, he just “lost” easily.

The highlight of the match would probably come with Angle using the “Cross-Face” on Roode, which Roode managed to counter, which was then Reversed into the Angle-Slam but Roode kicked out. Which would have been better if he had lost the second fall after a series of moves like that, gruelling effort and all.

The finish came with Roode rolling through from the Ankle-Lock, trapping Kurt in a Pin and held the Ropes to get the 3-Count.

So yeah, I really wanted Roode to win, I love Roode, he’s awesome. Angle is obviously good too, but this match (though good) did feel a little fast paced for my liking, rather than a more “PPV Quality” bout. But having Roode picking up the win does correct that.

We later had a backstage segment with Kurt talking about how Roode has had his number every step of the way and that Angle has never faced this before in his career and he will have to “think what my next move is” regarding where he goes from now in his Career.

Also the use of the Cross-Face still kind of bugs me, it just reeks of Benoit, and that’s a horrible stink. Match that against Kurt and it reeks of the feuds they both had years ago, and that’s a horrible thing too. I get that Roode is Canadian and it’s a good hold, but I still don’t like it.

Seeing as I did a good ol bit of “plugging” last week for Brian Altano’s Misanthrope album, I think it’s time I actually remember to promote TNA’s new line of Deluxe Impact Series x11 – Figures. Featuring Austin Aries, Velvet Sky, Jeff Hardy and Commander Riker from Star-Trek the Next Generation:

Deluxe Impact 11

Eric Young heads to the ring to continue his “experiment” in finding Abyss inside Joseph Park. Which also hit me that I myself have just come to a rather unexpected conclusion!

Park Penn

To take it one step further!

Penn and Teller

To help along this experiment, EY has secured Park a match against Bad Influence next week in a “Monsters Ball”. And to help Park prepare, EY gave him some early Christmas Presents, a Steel Chair, a Bag of Thumbtacks and some Barbed Wire. And to top it all off, Janice, which was hidden under the ring, which is when Park decided to agree to the Match.

I can’t decide if they will just let Park find “Abyss” or if “Abyss” will turn up, one of the two will happen. I think it’s more likely he will find Abyss, but it’s nice to see this moving along now. Not to mention next week’s match should be pretty good!

Feast or Fired

They kept mentioning that “Smith and Stone Lawfirm” were in charge of handling this matter, but I would have thought they could have someone a little more.. you know, better qualified?

Smith and Stone

The fact James Storm accompanied Gunner into the room shows you that something is going down between the two. He was stood at the back of Gunner’s Chair like a Lover tagging along to a Doctor’s Appointment. Made it worse when Hernandez didn’t turn up to help give Chavo much needed Support.

Apparently Smith and Stone decided how to open the Briefcases also, and it wasn’t 1,2,3,4 like any normal person would think is fair.

Still, the segment had “Dramatic Music / Camera Cuts” and shoddy written all over it. Zema picked up an X-Division title Shot, which is fine given how the rest of the Cases played out, though it’s a tad on the nose.

Gunner got the World Heavyweight Championship shot which he then declared “Finally get what I deserve!” leaving a close up shot of James Storm looking on annoyed.

Then Sting turns up and has a big rant about Entitlement and Legacy, and that someone like EC3 who was “given the job because he is a relation to Dixie” has an equal chance of keeping his job as Chavo does “who has worked his entire life for his profession”. Sting offered EC3 the chance to give Sting the briefcase, and he will accept its fate, on the condition he Wrestles him just once. EC3 kept the case and won a World Tag-Title Match, and Chavo got fired. So it’s good news all round really.

The bit that bugged me was Sting asking if Chavo ever got handed anything in his Career, and he said because he is a Guerrero he had to work twice as hard. Which makes no sense at all.

Everyone knows he’s been Riding Eddie’s coat-tails for the majority of his career, the fact his second name is Guerrero is the only reason he’s got a job, lord knows it’s not because he’s a “great Wrestler”. Hell, even the Guerrero name didn’t carry him to great heights, for they re-branded him as freakin’ Kerwin White and he sucked even more.

That’s like saying Lacey Von Erich was in TNA because she was a fantastic Talent, she couldn’t Wrestle for sh*t, she only had the job because of her second name.

Entitlement my arse!

The only down side is I have a bad feeling Chavo will be back. But till then, let’s sit back and enjoy the possibilities.

Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa vs. ODB and Madison Rayne

Okay so part of the match ODB and Lei’D Tapa actually got to have a bit of a fight, something I’ve been ranting and raving about for ages now. And guess what, I hadn’t even realised it was going on and completely blanked straight through it. So that’s a good sign of things to come.

See that’s the thing, Lei’D Tapa isn’t being built up as this “Force” that she is. Her first match wasn’t even really played on as her first match, nor did she really come across as “impressive”. ODB and Tapa should have had this great Stand Off in the match where it actually felt it was “proving ground” for Tapa, yet they just carried on like a normal Match and therefore this “Spark” of unexplored territory became explored so quickly that I slept through it.

Madison seems to be in great shape though, and I’m glad she’s back. It’s nice that they are building on the fact that Madison and Gail used to be friends, but isn’t everyone in the Wrestling Business? Anyway, Gail set up Madison for Eat Defeat, but it was countered into a Back-Slide and Madison won. So I guess that’s the end of the Open Challenge, and it kind of sucked.

But I am glad Madison is back, though I doubt she will win the Championship.

Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus – New World Heavyweight Championship – Dixie Land Match

Okay, so before the match got underway, Jeff cut a promo telling everyone about what happened with Dixie. This after Samoa Joe went to see him for a sit down chat, and Sting went to see him but in a much nicer way. So Jeff mentioned 10/10/10 and that he made a bad decision, and everyone saw how that ended up at Victory Road. Dixie though offered Jeff a good bit of Money to be “Her Champion” but he knew that meant she would “Own” him, and as he put it “No-Body Owns Me!” and that he told Dixie to “Stick it!”. He then said he wants to Win the World Championship and be like AJ Styles and do it for the “People”.

So before we carry on, what is wrong with all of this? For starters, why the hell did Jeff go and see Dixie? Yes, I get it from an Audience swerve perspective, and Wrestling fans are so stupid that it’s amazing it worked (and believe me it worked… I talked to someone first hand who bought into it… it’s scary!)

But here is my problem, as someone who is a little more picky, at least in terms of Wrestling Storylines, you need to give me some reason why Jeff went to see her. Because if Jeff didn’t realise that Dixie was going to offer him money to do her bidding, then he’s an idiot… so I have no respect for that. Jeff told her to “Stick It”.. I doubt that, and again, what the hell was he expecting… so he’s an idiot. Now if Jeff’s other avenues, like Music and Art, which gets pumped through Dixie was mentioned and Jeff was “blackmailed” of sorts into meeting with her, then I understand. Any type of reason to get Jeff there that gives him credit rather than being an idiot is what I’m looking for. So I hope this isn’t the end of this “thing” and that Jeff actually has been placed between a Rock and a Hard Place, and his rebellious nation against the “Boss” is what leads to him “Leaving” TNA, then I am all for it. So that’s what I hope for.

Anywho, let’s carry on, Dixie headed to the ring to confront Jeff and his little speech. Dixie declared he has one thing in common with AJ, and that is that Dixie “made him”, his music, and art, and merchandise, and giving him the opportunities and second chances, he owes all of it to her. Which is true. And if Jeff doesn’t do as she wants, he will find himself out of a Job like AJ Styles. So hopefully this develops and evolves and runs deeper than he just went for a Meal “because he’s oblivious and an idiot”.

Anyway, the Match was fantastic, everything I wanted from it. Both Jeff and Magnus missed top rope moves, which led to EC3 coming out to stand with Dixie. Keeping up the theory that Jeff is an idiot the rules quite clearly state “You Need To Climb Over The Top of The Cage!” but he decided to try and fit through the Camera Hole

Jeff Hole

Probably the highlight of the Match was Jeff hitting a Perfect “Whisper in the Wind” from the Top of the Cage all the way down onto Magnus.

Magnus had nearly escaped the Cage when EC3 got involved to hold Magnus back, but Jeff resenting the help from Dixie took out EC3. Hardy then hit the Twist-of-Fate on Magnus on the Ramp, before making his way to the Ladder on the Stage. Hardy threw his Shirt at Dixie and then climbed the Ladder, and that’s when Rockstar Spud pushed the Ladder over and Hardy literally went Head-First and crash landed on the Ramp, which looked horrible. So okay, he didn’t go through tables like I predicted last week… he skipped on the possibilities of a softer landing, and decided to go head first on a Ramp, which was a horrible landing.

And of course that’s when Spud, EC3 and Dixie all rooted for Magnus, and he took the offer, climbed the Ladder got the Belt and sold out!

So everything happened as expected, but it was an awesome match and a great ending… I really hope Jeff is okay, coz that fall looked really painful.

Next week, Magnus as new Champ and Monsters Ball!

Huzah!

Have a Great Christmas Everyone!…… Linda!

Jeff Shark

Till Then,

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

http:www.cageamateursuk.com

The Jobber Blogger #81 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 12/12/13

Jobber Blogger logo2

by DiVineDiablo

Come one, come all, and maybe a third! But that’s it. Ah yes, what seemed like a Funny idea in my head has quickly become that of a harsh reality. And my potential Three Readers… and that’s pushing my luck.

Speaking of pushing things though, I would like to take the time to Recommend this fine nifty album from a very multi talented individual, I give you – Misanthrope – by – Brian Altano.

BrianAltano-MISANTHROPE

http://misanthropealbum.com/

I feel like I have done good, but seriously, for anyone who might be an IGN reader, then of course, you’ll probably already know of this. But it’s a Great Album so send your support! Also it’s COMPLETELY FREE!!! You need to Pay Money to get things worse than this! So check it out!

It’s like Christmas has come early with my over-bearing generosity, but what has also come early has… nope, my mind didn’t work quick enough to make that into a joke… but then an innuendo did appear rather vividly, so I shall leave it at that. I might pride myself on bad jokes, poor demeanour and a stink so foul it makes your computer screen cry a little, but dirty jokes are beneath me!… like a Hooker.

Impact Wrestling Logo

 TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 12/12/13

One year later, and 12/12/12 is firmly behind us, gone are the chances of the same day, month and date landing on each other. But the world is still here, so there is that. And also on the Wednesday it was 11/12/13, and for those idiots out there who struggle to count, god bless the year!

Impact kicked off in a type of “impactful” way, though I do love a Wrestling show to start with Wrestling once in a while. A developing story through-out the night was Spud heading to Gainesville Georgia to bring back the TNA: World Heavyweight Championship from AJ Styles. But in the ring was the “Feast or Fired” briefcases and the Wheel of Dixie set up, though Kurt Angle turned up, trashed the set and moaned about Bobby Roode eliminating him from the World Title Tournament last week. Roode then blabbed about how he should be annoyed because he slipped off the Apron and went through a table, and then they had a fight! Angle declared he could beat Roode twice in one night… if only we knew what was coming next. So yes, clumsy start to the show aside, the 2 out of 3 Falls match set for next week should be awesome. Whilst on the topic, I miss themed 2 out of 3 Fall matches, but I don’t think we’ll be getting that come Final Resolution, and with Angle vs. Roode, that’s probably a good thing.

Bad Influence vs. Eric Young and Joseph Park

With a little pep talk backstage, EY told Park that he had a plan and not to worry “I know what’s inside you”. To be honest, this thing has escalated quicker than I thought it would have, but again no bad thing seeing as it has taken over a year to actually do something. During the match Park was held down and literally being slapped around by Christopher Daniels and Kazarian, EY stepped in to help, then tried to motivate Park, but in the end resorted to punching him in the head until he bled, so Park would go into “Abyss Mode”, which of course led to the victory.

EY then actually told Park to his face “18 Months ago you came looking for your brother, but you couldn’t find him, the reason you can’t find him, is because, You Are Abyss.” So hopefully this will get more interesting again soon, personally I would have preferred it if this Story didn’t drag out quite as long as it did, and it would have been better to play less on the fact that he turned into Abyss at the sight of his own blood, and have little sections where maybe Park would become more nervous backstage. Maybe looking through his Wrestling gear, then quickly shutting his bag, and later find out that he had the Abyss mask in his possession, things like that. Where the story is currently, I don’t know how they are going to tie it all together. What happened after Abyss fought Bully Ray and Bully led him outside, and he was never seen again. Surely that could be linked to The Aces and Eights, which made sense with Joseph Park showing up and finding out things for the faction. But that obviously never progressed, and now they aren’t together anymore. So what the hell happened to Abyss, why does Joseph Park exist as a “split personality” and just what was the point? I really hope they have something planned, but I can’t help but feel that closing the door on the Aces and Eights, and quickly wrapping up this Storyline is a way for them to shut out Eric Bischoff and start a fresh. So my hopes of it actually having an “ending” are unlikely.

Ethan Carter the Third issued his latest challenge, to one Jeremy Borash. Instead of a repeat from last week, The Icon Sting stepped up and ranted about “Entitlement” and told EC3 to “Man Up” and enter the Feast or Fired match later on in the night. Either that, or to face him one on one. Sting is the perfect guy to show a reflection between the old TNA and the new “Heel Dixie” TNA, and his whole issue with Entitlement either toward EC3 or eventually Magnus, is going to come full circle very soon, I’m sure. EC3 however got in Sting’s face and claimed he accepts, and then left to go enter himself into Feast or Fired. Though apparently Sting and EC3 are on a collision course, and personally…. I don’t know if that’s a good pairing. But time will tell.

Gail Kim (w/Lei’D Tapa) vs. —

Gail’s Open Challenge continues, and this week it was ODB who stepped up (sort of). Despite the fact that Gail’s Challenge is to people outside of TNA, though ODB was out gunning for Lei’D Tapa. So their inevitable bout can’t be far away! But as always, Gail and Tapa managed to beat down ODB, which is when the second best Surprise of the Night occurred, and Madison Rayne turned up to help out ODB.

Honestly, all these people moaning and complaining about TNA letting Madison go, obviously she was going to come back. And I am more than happy that she has, Madison is awesome, though she is still doing her “Heel Wave” thing, which doesn’t really suit a “face” Madison. She’s always been better as a Heel, so will be interesting to see how well she handles herself as a Good guy, or whether she will really quickly join up with Gail once more and be a Heel.

Dixie Carter headed to the ring to hold the “Face Off” between Magnus and Hardy one week before Dixie get’s “Her World Champion”. Also I hadn’t noticed before, but Dixie’s Eye’s are 100%, exactly the same as Jeff Hardy’s Painted on Eye’s. I wasn’t even sure if she had her eyes open or closed for the segment, till she blinked, and it was like, holy crap… they are her real eyes! FREAKY REAL EYES!!

dixie eyes

Magnus did the usual crap of “I Respect you more than anyone else in this business” which obviously will eventually turn out to be “I said it, so I got further, I hate you all”. As he has said the same speech to Sting, Angle and now Hardy…. so now we know he’s lying. Hardy then did his weird screaming speech about last year at Bound For Glory he won the World Championship by Defeating Austin Aries, and this year at Bound for Glory he only “Defeated Purpose”. Which to me… sounds like he was insulting himself.

Jeff defeat purpose

Though it could also be a slogan for Kurt Angle… as he defeats himself also.

Still Dixie then announced the match type for Hardy vs. Magnus next week, and it will be “Dixie Land”. A great idea with a crap name, so I’m sure after she’s done being a Heel, that the match will probably get a new name. From what I can gather, the idea is, the Belt is hung up high on the Entrance Ramp, and the match starts with both guys in a Steel Cage. You can only escape the Cage by going over the top, running up the entrance ramp, climbing a Ladder and getting down the World Championship. I love new Match Types, and this sounds like a blast, with some horrible injury potential. But should be good… maybe that’s why they put Hardy in the finals, as he will probably gladly fall off a Ladder, off a stage, through multiple tables… I called the ending.

Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin – X-Division Championship

This match seemingly came out of nowhere, I saw a Graphic for it to promote the show, but it wasn’t built up at all. Which is great, I love random Championship matches, even more so when they have great endings and new Champions.

Though this match doesn’t live up to their X-Division Title match earlier on in the year (also with Manik). The ending itself made it an awesome match. Also Aries has a great beard…  I think that’s relevant Wrestling commentary right there.

Velvet played a part in the match, namely Sabin grabbing a hold of her and she getting dragged in the ring, and then tried to be used as a Distraction. But in the end Aries just dropped Sabin with the Brain Buster and won the X-Division Championship.

Given that Aries’ first run with the title was the longest in company history, I would be more than happy for him to hold the best till Destination-X next year, and Win the World Championship once more. Also for those of you who are counting, yes this is the Number One Surprise from Impact this week.

Spud trying to get the World Championship Belt back from AJ Styles was a true highlight of the show, I love random “backstage” videos on my Wrestling shows. And having Spud going through-out a Redneck country was awesome. Also I would like to say now that Spud has quickly become one of my favourites on Impact, he was alright before, but he really suits this role. He harassed some guy in a Petrol Station for Directions, talked in a racist manor to a bar maid, sang God Save the Queen really badly in a Pub, and in the end broke into AJ’s house to find the belt.. then sit down, then AJ caught him and Spud ran off. Great stuff! Here’s hoping for a new World title Design, coz I’ve never been a big fan of the Current one.

Feast or Fired

Anderson was the first out to enter the match, but then Bully Ray turned up and beat him up then Pile-Drive’d him on the Stage once more, and it was a horrible landing. But what was more horrible was Bully Ray instead of being the best Heel in the industry, not to mention one of the best Promo’s guys in the industry, he sat over Anderson for about 5 minutes quoting the Bible. I am sure there is a point, but I really don’t think it suits Bully’s character. Though it could also look like a new Bully Ray coming back with a Vengeance, which is really exciting.

Samoa Joe vs. Hernandez vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Sabin vs. Curry Man vs. Dewey Barnes vs. Norv Fernam vs. James Storm vs. Gunner vs. Zema Ion vs. Austin Aries vs. Ethan Carter the Third

Though there aren’t really any rules in the match, it’s simply grab a briefcase and get out, so people worked as Teams and it’s all out chaos. It was awesome.

A great concept, and I can’t wait to find out who got which Prize.

Everyone did this “Dive out of the Ring” thing, leaving only EC3 left, who toyed with the fans, then just grabbed a Briefcase and ran off, so I thought that was pretty good. Zema Ion grabbed the next case, and awesome to see him back in the Ring now that he’s back with the Bromans. Though I never cared for his Ring Attire, I like his new hair, so I hope he changes his Attire to fit also, then he’s cooking on all cylinders. Chavo Guerrero grabbed a Case with help from Hernandez, I really hope it’s not the Tag-Team one, coz that would really annoy me. And finally James Storm was well on his way to getting the last Briefcase when Gunner violently shoved Storm off the ropes and grabbed the briefcase for himself instead.

Earlier on in the night, Sabin and Aries both entered themselves into the match, given the change of hands with the X-Division Championship. Storm and Gunner also bumped heads once more, with them talking about the future of their team, plus Storm saying he could be the next World Champ, which Gunner obviously took offense at.

I hope it’s a good mix up, the whole potential of this match means it can shake things up. So Chavo having the Tag-Title shot would suck. I still think there is a chance that Storm will get the Briefcase from Gunner and end up getting fired. Who knows! But it would make sense to pad out Final Resolution before people find out which briefcase contains which prize.

After Magnus and Hardy had their Face to Face earlier in the night, Dixie invited them to her VIP banquet meal after the show, and it was Hardy who turned up, so that was awesome. Though we already know where things are probably going to end up, it’s still great to plant seeds.

Speaking of next week, Final Resolution is as follows:

Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus – New World Heavyweight Champion – Dixie Land Match

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode – 2 out of 3 Falls

Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa vs. ODB and Madison Rayne

and the results from Feast or Fired.

Should be a great show!

Till then.

Dan Wilkinson.

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