Tag Archives: The Miz

Monday Night Raw #1276, November 13, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

 

OL DIRTY BASTARD KING

Today marks the 13th Anniversary of the passing of ODB… the ONLY ODB I will acknowledge, the Ol’ Dirty Bastard of The Wu-Tang Clan. Let me tell you wrestling fans something. If you speak of another ‘ODB’, DO NOT INSULT ME, DO NOT INSULT HIP HOP, and DO NOT READ MY BLOGS.

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1276! It gaah pop off tonight! BUMBACLART!!!

Steph Raw

Double chocolate digestive and a chicken & leek cup of soup. I expect RUCKUS!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh sheeeeeeeeet! Stephanie is here! Why she got on some dress that looks like a 60-year-old would wear?! She needs to take it off…
Shout out to Shabba Ranks and Johnny Gill… Slow and Sexy… GRANT BODY-P!
Come on Kurt – sweet talk Steph! What happened to your charm? Show her your gold medals do something!
The crowd doesn’t seem to like Jason Jordan very much! They don’t like John Cena either!
Oh no! Steph thinks Kurt has gone soft! I could never be ‘soft’ around Steph… I’m just saying…
GRANT BODY-P!
The Shield are here! You don’t think they are gonna powerbomb Stephanie through the ring are they???
Wait – I take that back what I said about Steph – she got some stockings on or something – GOD DAYUUUUUUM!
How is Steph gonna ask

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

where has he been? Like we don’t know!

I thought Double R was gonna say what he and the Shield was gonna do to Steph! As in sexually!
THE BLACK SHIELD
Stephanie… we know you’re a freak… can you take us three????
OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Triple threat match to find out who joins the Raw women’s team! Mickie James all the way! I’m surprised Dana Brooke still has a contract! I hope she doesn’t miss her friend too much!
And of course you got Bayley… surely the favourite right?
Side note – Nia Jax looks hot with those braids she got going on! Actually lets throw a pic of her… for no reason!
Nia Jax lawd2
…and the bell has sounded! So much for your dirt sheets! Where’s Paige at then wrestling experts???? YOU IMBECILES!
Er… how the rarse is Dana Brooke gonna slap Asuka? That’s career suicide right there! Asuka with a roundhouse kick to Dana’s cheekbone – BLAOW!
Bayley is the 5th member! Fantastic! #DirtSheetsAreTheDevil – you are damned fools for reading those sh!ts!
Enzo calls his Championship his ‘boo’… that’s the closest he’s gonna get to pu$$y!
Time for the Shield to buss The Miz arse again! Oh it’s Miz TV? Where’s the remote – change the channel! But change it back if The Miz gets buss arse!
What’s wrong with Cesaro’s mouth? He’s talking like he got a gun in his mouth!
I could have been more profane, but I like Cesaro… who doesn’t? GRANT BODY-P!
Oh I forgot… when he had his teeth kicked into his gums didn’t he? Sorry my bad!
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Monday Night Raw #1274, October 30, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

NIGELLA-LAWSON-1

Now I should be talking about the ‘unfortunate releases’ of Emma, Summer Rae & Darren Young, I should be writing about some kid named Lio Rush whose tweet got him in trouble but at time of writing this, Nigella is back on my telly… this woman is going for 60 and she is still baaaaaaaaad!!!! I’d love to grab that woman and ‘decorate the kitchen table’…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1274! SOOOO – What you gonna do Kurt?

Steph Raw

 Double chocolate digestives and a supermalt, plus this sh!t starts early because the clocks tunn back… LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

 

The entire Raw locker room on the top of the stage! Kurt in the middle of the ring!

The crowd dropping ‘What?’ Chants on Kurt! This isn’t 2002 muthaf***a!

OH NO! NOW STEPHANIE IS HERE!!! OH MY GOD – This ain’t good! I mean – it’s good for me – I get to see her sexy @$$ but…hell yeah Steph I missed you damn! COME HERE GIRL!

They say RAW is television’s longest running show – WRONG!!! Try Coronation Street, Try Eastender!

GRANT BODY-P!

Kurt earned Stephanie’s respect! Until last week that is! Don’t you think he earned more than that back in 2000…..????

Stephanie is going IN on Kurt!!! She’s added a fourth I – Incompetence! She expects victory and annihilation from RAW at the Survivor Series! and if Kurt fails… THAT’S IT!!!! AAAAAAH SHEEEEEEET!!!

Kurt – it’s not too late to sweet talk Steph and get in her panties! You did it already once before!

Where was Miz last week went RAW got their @$$ whipped? Exactly – being a B!TCH hiding in the corner! He gotta defend his title now! Hope he loses – THE B!TCH!

What was that about Nia Jax walking out the company??? You been reading the dirt sheets again??? Nia looks glowing! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING SHAD???!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Samoa Joe is back too! OH LAWWWD!!! He wasn’t here last week! I guess Smackdown attacked Raw when they were vulnerable!

He hasn’t missed any of us? Ah well! I missed Stephanie anyway…

NO APOLLO CREWS!!! GO BACK!! This man should not be a jobber?! Oh no…

NO TITUS! PUT YOUR JACKET BACK ON! YOU LOST YOUR MIND??? This muthaf***a went toe to toe with Brock Lesnar and you wanna step to Joe? SMH!

Kevin Nash, HBK and The Don of Dons himself advertised for the 25th Anniversary of RAW! The Grant says this – y’all best knock on Hollywood’s door and The Broken Skull Ranch YOU FEEL ME???!!!!!

The Miz Vs MATT HARDY! Come on Matt! He’s never held the Intercontinental Title! GET HIM MATT! I’m rooting for you all the way bredrin! DELETE HIS BLODCLART!

DAMNIT!!! The Miz still champion! Let the complaining on the internet begin! NAH F**K THAT – I’M NOT THAT GUY!!! I DON’T DO DRUGS!

Alexa Blitch actually suggested something sensible! She told Kurt to bring some talent in from the Mae Young classic! May I interject?? I say bring these in!

Bianca bel air

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t care what you gotta do to get em Kurt but GET THEM!

Who is my sexy Asuka gonna fight? Dana Brooke? If Dana loses, she might end up like Emma… according to Lio Rush!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a second – who is that???? I don’t mean in a perverted way – I mean in a legit concerned way… some chick named Stacey… oh dear Stacey – you didn’t even throw a punch – Ok – go to Vincent Kennedy, Collect your $1000 cheque, now go and pay those bills!

Er…. Danny Bryan?? What is this???? Remember he wasn’t too pleased that Kurt could fight and Danny couldn’t!

DTA KURT – DON’T TRUST ANYBODY! Not even Danny Bryan!

Kurt told Danny that the RAW locker room gonna come to Smackdown and bring the ruckus! AAAAAH SHEEEEEEET!

Why the f**k the lights go out? Undertaker isn’t there is he????

IT’S KANNNNNNE!!!! CHOKESLAM TO DANNY BRYAN! OHHHH HELLL NO!!!!! See what I did there?

GRANT BODY-P!

While Finn Balor and Cesaro are battling, I just thought – WWE – fire that muthaf***a Tyson Kidd! Future Endeavour his blodclart! Come on – you gotta buy some pyro for my hero Kane! Nattie can pay the bills! She’s the champion damnit!

Talking of Kane!!! Finn Balor tries to fight him! But Tombstone! TOMBSTONE!!!! TOMBSTONE ON THE CONCRETE STAGE!!!

Uh-oh! THE SHIELD!!! Well – 2 of em anyway! Remember Seth Rollins & Kane?! Haha this ain’t The Authority no more son!

I’m still sitting here thinking about Raw 25th Anniversary… Yo – Gotta have Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler and Vincent Kennedy on commentary at the old school Manhattan Center! Trish/Lita – where you at – bring your sexy @$$£$ here!

Cesaro & Sheamus came down to teef – Kane got the CHOKESLAM! He’s ready to finish him, but Ambrose tried to save his bredrin! Both of em got TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE!!!! Sheamus & Cesaro are like – BACKSIDE!!!!! WE ARE LUCKY TO HAVE OUR LIVES TODAY!

All Kurt has to do is send Kane to Smackdown at this rate and KILL THEM ALL! Apart from my Naomi… DON’T HURT MY NAOMI!

GRANT BODY-P!

Is Braun Strowman playing mind games with The Miz – leaving garbage in his locker room? OOOHHHHHH SNAP!!!

Look at the Miz sucking up to Kane… Kane is like – you’re on your own kid!

They put Heath Slater/Rhyno and the Balding club (Gallows/Anderson) in Halloween costumes like they gonna fight… what b!tches!!!!

Sheamus & Cesaro said the same thing! The Miz is on his own! I so hope Braun catches him!!! It would be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen!

Seems like Jason Jordan is not dun with Elias! He hates that country sh!t  – Jason Jordan is HIP HOP!

No Jason – don’t brukk up the guitar! OH SHEEEEEEEEET!!!! No one walking with Elias again!

The Miztourage is leaving the building! NOT SO FAST! Kurt says YOU NAH GUH NOWHERE! OR ELSE!!!!GRANT WWDJC2

RAW IS OFF THE HOOK THIS WEEK! And there is still Mickie James vs Alexa Bliss to come!

Looks like Enzo Amore got his voice back! I asked this question last week – where is Drew Gulak going? HE’S SO DRY – he makes John Laurinitis funny as f**k!

The Miz is straight sh!tting himself! This is great!! Oh man the writers must have had a kick up the backside as of late! See – I’ve been telling you that Smackdown as been the better show but as of late RAW has been straight KILLIN EM!

Alexa Blitch looks worried! Mickie James is kicking her all over that ring!

Yo they showing adverts of KFC word up… hopefully while you are reading this I am tucking in to the Colonel’s food!

AH LIE!!! Are the crowd chanting for CM P**K? I thought you guys love women? I thought you love Alexa Bliss? I thought you love Mickie James? You guys must be GAY!

GRANT BODY-P!

Alexa still the champion! SH!T! She actually used the Sean Price punch! PPPPPP!!! Nah f**k all that – watch this… Miz is taking foot and run!

You think Braun is driving the limo??? Buckle up Miz!

The dumpster has returned! OH NO! BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Me never see The Miz run so fast! LAWWWWD HE KETCH DEM! He dash the Miztourage down the ramp! It truly is Halloween for The Miz! The Miztourage got F**KED UP! HOW MANY POWERSLAMS HAS HE GAVE THESE GUYS?

LAWWWWWWWD! This guy is an official babyface now! I mean, I like Double R and Cena, but have you noticed guys, that when they are not on TV – WWE kicks @$$??!!!!!

 

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1271, October 9, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Now I could start this sh!t off by saying Columbus Day this, Columbus Day that  but F**K ALL THAT – I enjoyed the Hell In A Cell… best matches since… Brock Vs Undertaker two years ago? Nah Nah – Dean Ambrose Vs Seth Rollins was the one right there!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1271! To normal jabronies, its Columbus Day. To us WWE fans, it’s EDDIE GUERRERO DAY! SALUTE THIS MAN!

Steph Raw

WE ARE IN INDIANAPOLIS! Where it all started for The Shield, where it all ended for The Shield, and could it start all over again?

Why is the Miz doing this Mizzie sh!t again? I think I want the Shield to come down the stairs now!

Oh snap – Bo Dallas got buss arse so much he’s sitting at home like a beeatch!

Just think – Cesaro and Sheamus were at each other’s throats, one year later they are winning awards and sh!t! I’d give them an award for their entrance alone!

AAAAAAAAH SHEEEEEEEEEET!!!! The Shield are BACK!!! Minus the swat gear but that’s ok! THE SAGA CONTINUES! They have formed like Voltron! WROOOOOOOOOOY! The Miz! The Bar! the Shield! It’s all ruckus now! BUMBACLAAAAAAAAT!!!! Look at the Miz’s face! He’s like – A WHA DE RARSE! THE CROWD ARE GOING NUTS!!!

HERE WE GO! OOOOOOOWWWWAAAAA! TRIPLE POWERBOMB TO THE MIZ – BLAOW!!!

JUST LIKE THAT! THE MIZ IS THE B!TCH OF THE WEEK!

OFFICIAL! The Miz & The Bar Vs The Shield! TLC MATCH! AAAAAH SHEEEEEET! I couldn’t give a f**k about Elias and walking with that muthaf***a – he ain’t Hip Hop!

GRANT BODY-P!

YES! Titus f**ked up Elias rhythm! I wanna walk with Titus Worldwide! Apollo best beat this muthaf***a this time!

F**K! Apollo lose again… damn Apollo – did you p!$$ McMahon off? I knew he should never have come to RAW…

Sugar Ray Amore??? But him nah defend him title yet????

The heartbreaking thing about Enzo is – he makes all these Hip Hop references in his promos… so me personally – I cannot hate him like you lot!

You gotta be kidding me! Enzo is in the main event of RAW! 3 weeks running! Enzo Vs Kalisto – lumberjack match for the Cruiserweight title!! Come on son – Enzo has made this sh!t mad compelling!

I know these Hardy Boyz are fearless but Matt Hardy – TURN BACK!!! You don’t want none of BRAAAAUUUUUUUUN!

I think Braun is merely playing with Matt here! he’s gonna be BROKEN for sure after this! Did Matt p!$$ off Vince as well?

A LIE! Matt Hardy hit the Twist Of Fate to Strowman! Dude kicked out at 1! Matt  just get yourself disqualified and….oh too late – Strowman hit the running powerslam – BLAOW!!

HOLY SMOKES! THE SHIELD HAVE RUSHED STROWMAN! THEY MIGHT HAVE A FIGHTING CHANCE THIS TIME!

DOUBLE R HIT THE SPEAR – BLAOW!

OH MY DAYS! THEY SET UP THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!

OOOOOOOOOOOWWWAAAAAHHHHH!!!

TRIPLE POWERBOMB TO STROWMAN THROUGH THE TABLE – BLAOW!!!

ROMAN REIGNS FEEL GOOD NOW – HE’S GETTING CHEERED!

GRANT BODY-P!

…and now we got Mickie James! And I am so glad she ain’t skipping to the ring anymore – I hated that sh!t!

“I have more energy in my body than you have hair extensions and pink hair dye!” YES! Mickie James speaks the truth! Mickie needs to bring that energy over here!

GRANT BODY-P!GRANT WWDJC2

I’m all about the older women!!! It’s been my track record since I was 21!

Oh sh!t – Mickie got the crowd chanting ‘biscuit butt’ to Alexa! I take it that means she has NO SHAPE!

SERIOUSLY?? Bayley, Sasha and Alicia want to go agains… wait a second – Dana & Emma want in!

Fatal 5 way match for the opportunity to face Asuka at the TLC joint! But the question remains – where Nia Jax at? Er… she DID FOLLOW our own Shadfather on the twitter… The Grant says – Shad knows all the answers Sway!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO! Apparently Dean Ambrose’s mouth got The Shield in certain trouble! Apparently The Shield can take on the world, and for a second I did wonder – where does Braun Strowman fit on the TLC card! Now he joins The Miz & the Bar in the TLC match too?! Strowman counts as an extra 3 people!

Now this Sister Abigail situation! The Balor Club is not afraid of Sister Abigail! I know as hell I’m not!

HOLY SMOKES – A WHA DAT?!!! I take that back – Sister Abigail looks ugly as f**k! It exists within Bray!

Not even Undertaker & Kane have forced Bray to send for Abigail!

Big up to the Perfect Plex Talk Radio – they are straight taking the p!$$! Calling Bray Wyatt – a tranny and sh!t!

Now – does the winner of this match REALLY WIN? I mean, they fight Asuka… With this in mind – I’m backing Dana or Emma, because it started with them in NXT!

WHOA! Ok hold up – Dana and Bayley eliminated! Emma is still in this thing! COME ON EMMA!

YES!!!! EMMA IS THROUGH!!! It is only right!!!!

Big up to Kalisto! He’s dedicating this match to Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio! COME ON KALISTO!

Eddie ISP

Picture courtesy of Iron Skull Productions

There is no way Enzo can win surely? Big Cass ain’t gonna come and save him is he???

Wait a second the heel cruiserweights putting the boots on Kalisto – isn’t the idea to brukk up Enzo’s blodclart? Enzo may have a fighting chance here!

Oh no! the lumberjacks are causing ruckus outside! What happened to unity and all that? Kalisto just hit a superplex to Enzo to the outside landing on everybody! WHOA!

At least Mustafa Ali had the idea and kept the objective at hand – prevent Enzo from walking out of Indianapolis with the title!

YES! The Kalisto Del Sol! Kalisto – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION!

RAW WAS OFF THE HOOK! WWE DID EDDIE PROUD STAR! YEAH MAN!

Smackdown.. I’m gonna pray for ya!

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Monday Night Raw #1268 , September 18, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Aah man, how do I say goodbye…

We lost another wrestling legend y’all… Bobby The Brain Heenan has returned to the essence and reunited with his broadcast partner – Gorilla Monsoon. Now the HWF (Heaven Wrestling Federation) roster is finally complete. They have their champions, (Warrior, Savage, Eddie) Their mid-carders (Perfect, Rick Rude, Owen Hart) Their women’s division (Chyna, Elizabeth) Their monster heels (Umaga, Viscera) Their babyface (Dusty) their top heel (Piper) Even their jobbers (Test, Crash Holly, Junkyard Dog) and everyone in between (Bulldog, Boss Man) And GOD himself is the general manager/commissioner – he’s signing these stars!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1268! Shout out to Natalie Sawyer… damn that girl is so fine! If I had my hands on her – I’d show NO MERCY on her p-(FLATLINE!!!!)

Steph Raw

I got NO refreshments… oh lawwwwwd… this is bad news! How am I gonna make it through the show?

Yo this week’s WWF wrestling better be as hot as the feud between Grace & Sienna on Hollyoaks!

GRANT BODY-P!

Ok I missed the first few minutes so I don’t know if there was a 10 Bell salute… what I do know… is that The Miz suddenly thinks he’s father of the year just because he breed up Maryse… and tries to talk down at Kurt Angle… you think Jason Jordan can defeat the Miz for the intercontinental championship at the No Mercy joint? F**k all that – Alexa Blitch is on against all curves and no brakes – a woman Redman would be proud of in Nia Jax… with that said… I had to throw some chips on… a brotha hungry!

..and just like that… I’m already fed up – the streams are f**k!n up, reminding me not to be a cheap arse and watch Raw properly on Sky Sports… well THE GRANT SAYS – I’m gonna eat my chips… and when I’m dun, me garne ah mi bed! I know it’s the go home show leading to the PPV… but my patience worn thin. This would not happen if it was Smackdown let me tell ya!

TUESDAY MORNING

Yes jabronies I am blessed to see another day, now I’m on catch up mode with this wrestling sh!t… and what do I see? Alexa Bl!tch running away from Nia Jax… that’s your World Wrestling Federation Women’s champion, your sweetheart… f**kouttahere! No I didn’t roll out the wrong side of the bed… this is Grant every day! Who you know like Grant????

Sasha comes out to tell Alexa – get your B!TCH @$$ back in the ring! Nia Jax claps down Alexa from the other side – BLAOW!

Shout out to the Soul n Sports massive & crew – before Raw I agreed that it is now Nia’s time to become the champion… but after watching her dominant performance… er… knowing WWE’s logic… er… oh dear…

Er… BAYLEY???? She looks bex for once!!!! She actually looks like she wants to f**k Nia up! WHOA!

Well obviously it would take the combined might of Alexa, Sasha & Bayley to mash her up when all they did was shoulder block Nia into the canvas…

Where does Alexa think she’s going trying to fren up – fren up Bayley & Sasha? They gave her the Ol Dirty Bastard look – GETTOUTTAHERE!!!

ODB GETTOUTTAHERE

“Nostalgia will fade just like these WHAT chants…” Sorry Cesaro the What chant will live forever… it cannot be stopped! It will only get stronger!

I gotta agree with Ambrose – Ii wouldn’t let my brothers dressed like battyman wannabe T-800s!

GRANT BODY-P!

I like The Shield’s formation suicide dives! That’s cool!!!! The Bar or The Club was not ready for that sh!t!

The Club lose again… oh god damnit this is the match we should have at No Mercy… what the blodclaaat! The Club should have won that sh!t to make things interesting… but nooooooo….

114 match losing streak??? If Apollo Crews loses to Curt Hawkins… then I will review my Raw card… but that sexy @$$ Asuka is coming though… she might be the saving grace…

Spinning spin out powerbomb – BLAOW! Now Hawkins is 0-115!

Wait a second – did Double R cuss bad words?!!!! How can you fools not like this guy? Oh yeah I forgot – you are all BUZZARDS with iPhoneXs lighting that sh!t up when a blubbering idiot walks to the ring with his flashlight!

GRANT BODY-P!

Double R bring up old sh!t about Cena running down The Rock… Aaah good times hahaa!

no_mercy_rendered-5805b3c8abc10195cce3ec0ebfb18b02

See that’s the only time Double R can get one up on Cena – when Cena is not here… five years later Cena is doing the same sh!t The Rock is doing… y’all know me – I’m Team Bring It all day… but Double R said something that made me think – maybe he shot himself in the foot – Cena believed he would beat The Rock at WrestleMania 28 – that went wrong… Double R cuts a similar promo like Cena did 5 five years ago – I have a feeling Cena gonna beat Double R and that’s gonna bring doubt and bad vibes in Double R’s Psyche… YES – that’s how it’s going – Cena wins… it eats away at Double R and consumes him until they have their rematch! That’s my prediction right there!

Massive big ups to Bobby The Brain Heenan. I will keep it 100 like I always do – Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler will always be my favourite commentary team of all time… but Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan were the original commentary team, not just that – you look at all the sketches they did back in the day – you don’t get that sh!t now word up. You won’t hear me say ‘he’s the greatest that ever did it’ unless I am a true fan – Ok I put it to you… in all the times you have read my blogs or listened to my podcasts on BDSIR Network – when have you heard me hold Heenan in high regard? Outside of the Royal Rumble 92 special show me and Shad did? Just keeping it 100…

Dustin Rhodes? So he’s now the artist formerly known as Goldust again? Oh no that became a horror story last time that happened!

Don’t worry I get it – it’s playing off the storyline Wyatt got with Finn Balor – I already did the knowledge!

Yo Rhodes is going IN on Wyatt! ‘Next Undertaker my dutty foot!’

…then he went in – right into a Sister Abigail – BLAOW! Er.. oh dear…

Finn Balor now on that cryptic sh!t! Oh Bray, you wonder why I refuse to light up my phone when you come out to the ring…

GRANT BODY-P!

So this six-pack challenge thing – Elias Vs Double J vs Hardy Boyz Vs Miztourage  winner fights the Miz at No Mercy? YAWN…. NEXT!!!

The Miz is so TEEEEEF! He doesn’t want Jeff Hardy or Jason Jordan to win! They need to kick him down and get him out of the equation!

OHHHH The Miz has done it now! He just called Jason Jordan a ‘Jon Snow’! he can’t do that! Oh boy – backing Double J all the way here… but that Miz is SO TEEF!!! Calling it now – Double J wins by disqualification, Jason Jordan gets bex, the Miztourage beats on him… then finally Kurt comes out, and hits the olympic slam on the Miz… either that or tries to break the ankle…

WHAAAAAAHAHAHA!!!! “I will feel great after I beat Neville at No Mercy how you doin?”
Did you see Enzo’s face when he heard – BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Braun just boxed him down one time – BLAOW!!!GRANT WU TANG FOREVER

Braun picked up Enzo one hand – CHOKESLAAAAAAM! BLAOW! I don’t think Enzo gonna make it to No Mercy now! Neville must be deddin!

The running powerslam!!! BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Holy smokes! Enzo is probably dead by now!

There was NO NEED for that Red Arrow super move Neville!!! Oh my days that was funny!

Let’s keep on this Braun sh!t! He says he’s gonna take Suplex City and stomp it to the ground! Better listen to him Heyman… or ELSE!

Oh man – if I was the referee – I would let Brock & Braun go at it – a simple wrestling match just won’t do boys and girls!

Paul Heyman is straight exposing Mike Cole as the wack journalist that he is! Mike Cole you wack homes!

Brock is thanking Braun for coming at him like this! Remember boys and girls – don’t complain on the internet!

 

 

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1265, August 28, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

50 men have come, and 50 men have fallen. Officially – NO ONE can beat him! Love him or hate him – he had your attention and that’s real. RESPECT HIS GANGSTA!

Actually I wanna address the haters real quick… still in denial? Talking about ‘it took 10 rounds to take a non-boxer out’ – it will take me 10 seconds for me to tell you – SHUT THE F**K UP! Go and lose 10lbs, invest in that tenner in your pocket instead of ordering pizza for your racist fat @$$!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1265! We getting money YEP! Hall Of Famer YEP! He deserves it YEP!

Steph Raw

NO RAW beginning? We just gonna start with The Miz with his annoying self!

We got Jerry Lawler on commentary! You think he’s gonna be dutty towards Alexa Blitch?

Just as The Miz was gonna chat sh!t, Kurt Angle interrupts the proceedings!

Kurt Angle has no respect??? I’d rather Kurt have no respect than The Miz having no manners!

Looks like there is gonna be in a battle royal! Winner faces The Miz at the No Mercy joint! Oh wait – I got it wrong – it’s running NEXT WEEK on RAW – Intercontinental title defense!

Remind me in the morning I must start watching the Mae Young Classic jump off… the #1 reason I put back on my WWE Network – me want to see the gyal dem fight!

The Miz seems to be enjoying what he’s seeing from this Battle Royal! Everyone dashing each other out the ring and falling on their side!

Oh so that’s why… he got his cronies up in the match too! But what if Bo Dallas or Curtis Axel win? (hypothetically…)

Bray Wyatt TEEEF! He wasn’t in the match! Appeared out of nowhere doing his children of the corn sh!t and dashed Finn Balor out! CALLING STIPULATION FOR NO MERCY!

Just when you thought Jason Jordan was the favourite to win… Jeff Hardy emerges victorious! Oh wow! I like this!!!! The Miz doesn’t like it I can tell you that!

Now that Enzo fights on 205 Live, the question remains – is he still gonna mix it up with the regular roster?

Big Cass is out the game for a good number of months! Dayuuuum… that’s his push on hold before it even began!

At least we can keep it moving because quite frankly, that storyline was wack homes!

Neville doesn’t seem to be impressed with Enzo’s fighting style! He thinks he’s gonna be champion for ever! For ever ever? FOR EVER EVER!!!!!

WHOA! Brock Lesnar twice in two weeks!!! Good lord! Not even Undertaker got this treatment with Brock’s appearance dates!

GRANT BODY-P!

Don’t get it twisted – I’m not that dude who complains about Brock’s status and how he defends his Universal Championship, actually I’m that dude who doesn’t give a f**k – I got nothing to lose – Brock can do what the f**k he wants!

Not just that… Brock spoke as well! Man this is serious! Snatched the mic from Heyman like “What he’s saying is – Suplex City B!tch!”

Hold up – Seth Rollins just teefed a move from Apollo Crews! He can’t do that! Standing reverse moonsault while opponent was on the canvas!

Uh oh! I like this! If Emma defeats Mickie James, it’s hashtag city! However, if Mickie wins, Emma can’t say she started this women’s revolution sh!t!grant-body-p

What the rarse? They changed Emma’s music! Er… I don’t get it! 2K games – don’t worry about that!

OH SNAP! Emma defeats Mickie James! Maybe the music change was worth it! Emma started the women’s revolution! I know! We learn something new every day! Poor Mickie, maybe she needs to find a new love interest or something…  back in the day she wanted to get her scissors on with Trish… god dayuuuum!

I am quite shocked that they are running John Cena Vs Roman Reigns at the No Mercy joint… I mean, it has big BIG WrestleMania written all over it… even Mike Cole said so!

John Cena just says he has no Fs to give! Well nor do I Cena! Join the club!

Er… Double R.. rubbing it in about retiring the Undertaker! I respect it but don’t do that!

Cena just called Reigns a ‘Corporate created John Cena bootleg!’ Yo keep me outta this!

Cena is killing Reigns on how to cut a promo! Reigns is now going for low blow techniques on the mic! Reigns is recovering though!!! I think they have thrown the script away here!

“I’m still here because you can’t do your job!” Damn Reigns!!! HOLY SMOKES! I feel bad for you… I really do! The likes of CM P**k and The Rock have struggled against Cena’s lyrical sword!

Trust me – the IWC are gonna be partying hard with those memes this week!

Elias Samson is the ‘Elvis’ of the WWE? So does that mean he’s gonna dead on the toilet?

GRANT BODY-P!

You done it now Elias –  you provoked Jerry Lawler! I hope Lawler doesn’t send for his singlet…you know what happened last time!

What is this nonsense? Pelvis Wesley? Southpaw Regional Wrestling? GETTHEF**KOUTTAHERE! Put on Alexa and Sasha sexy @$$! Oh lawwwd…

Let me get my mint & chocolate chip ice cream y’all – I wanna see Sasha brukk up Alexa blodclart all over again!

You see – Alexa & Sasha don’t like each other in real life – they should apply this in the storylines! Look how successful the feud between Edge & Matt Hardy was, or HBK Vs Bret Hart! That added intensity! Right now I’m not feeling that with Alexa & Sasha…

OH SNAP! Alexa Bliss – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION WOMEN’S CHAMPION! Nia Jax congratulates her – OH SNAP! Nia just put her down on some Batista sh!t – BLAOW! YES!!! I smell Triple Threat… she took out Sasha as well!

BRAVO RAW! I made it through the three hours! I yawned here and there but yes! Y’all came through! Double R & Cena though… good lord! That’s what we like – throw away the robotics – keep it 100 on the mic!

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1207, July 11, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

brockvorton

Well then! Brock Lesnar mash-up the dude Mark Hunt, Portugal won the Euro 2016, and muthaf***az are complaining about this Summerslam match up. I thought you guys wanted this match??? Do you want a refund like that idiot who complained because Danny Bryan was injured? You never heard the story? Check this out…

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/business/NBC10-Responds-WWE-Refund_Philadelphia-386306511.html

THE GRANT SAYS THIS: This muthaf***a hasn’t had any pu$$y in all his life! And is not likely to get any pu$$y any time soon! He gonna die and be in a box….a VIRGIN!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news,  just remind me to put up a nice picture of that Miesha Tate lady…. I feel bad for her because she lost her title… but god damn – GOD DAMN!!!!!

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RAW #1207! I’m gonna put on my purple suit, god fist combo no pu$$y getting basement jabronies online, then I’m gonna BEAT UP JOHN CENA!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

OH NO! VINCENT KENNEDY IS ON THIS WEEK! We gonna see the Vincent Kennedy walk! He’s gonna say sh!t like “In this very ring…” and “I’m Vince McMahon damnit!” If I was Shane and Steph, I would hide behind the couch!!!!

This is gonna jump off with the battle royal! Winner gets to fight The Miz at the Battleground… because he’s The Miz… and he’s a B!TCH!!!

Wait a sec – did I just see Bob Backlund? YES I DID SEE Bob Backlund! Darren Young is out there… but I’m not watching him too much… he might think I want something….

GRANT BODY-P!

Yes Miz I agree with you – Maryse is beautiful but she doesn’t get my d!ck hard – SORRY!

Darren Young has won the sh!t! By eliminating NOBODY!!!!! I suppose he was the last man in the ring…. and the crowd are down with Darren Young! But I bet Darren Young wants to get down with the crowd!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

UH-OH!! The Rollins Report???? He got exclusive footage of Roman Reigns disrespecting the fans? I GOTTA SEE THIS!!! As a journalist, my ears and eyes will be razor-sharp like The RZA!

Plus! On the Battleground Highlight Reel… Jericho talks to Randall! Oh boy… that should be good!

So they remixed Wack Ryder’s music… wicked wow…. sense my sarcasm???? PENNY TAUGHT ME!

PENNY

Excellent work Sheamus! You mash-up Batty Ryder! Ten the super athlete put him in the accolade super move and accepts Ryder’s challenge for the US Championship! in which, Batty Ryder will lose again! This time Rusev… BREAK HIS BACK like your name is Bolo Yeung!

Ok we gonna see the footage!!!! What did Roman Reigns do? Was he that guy? Was he doing drugs? Did he cheat on his wife and find himself in a sex tape? Or was it that WrestleMania 31 footage when he pushed a fan for being all up in his grill?

Typical Seth Rollins! Editing the Roman Reigns interviews he had with Mike Cole! GET OUTTA HERE!!!! Edge & Christian did the same sh!t on their show that reeks of awesomeness! Only that I struggled to laugh at most of their sketches…

GRANT BODY-P!

Both Deano and Seth just delivered killer promos!!! They are doing a superb job of filling the void that is Roman Reigns!

Seth wants that one on one jump off so bad – he got it! But he wants to do it on his terms… dude – YOU STILL GON’ LOSE!!!

Still not amused that the Zayn Vs Owens jump off is a single match at Battleground… where is the muthaf**k!n stipulation WWE? They already had a single match in NXT! I don’t wanna see that sh!t again???? If you gonna end the feud… END IT RIGHT!

OH SNAP! VINCENT KENNEDY IS HERE! He’s gonna name the new ‘commissioner’ of Smackdown when it jumps off next week! NO – WRESTLING FANS – IT’S SOMEBODY ‘NEW’… someone who hasn’t run the show before! It’s a new era FOOL!

OH NO! John Cena is ‘practicing’ at the ESPY show? What sort of show is that??? Enzo & Cass are gonna get brukk up! Then the Bullet Club are gonna take a plane, fly down to wherever this show is…. and then…………….er….then er……………………………er…………………………………………………………………………….. BEAT UP JOHN CENA!!!!!!

Anytime these social idiots are on, that’s the time I disappear… so I’ll be back, after… I get this ice cream, pay some bills, and BEAT UP JOHN CENA! Get em TITUS! BRUKK THEM UP!

Miesha_Tate_7

Miesha Tate, what I WOULD LOVE TO DO TO YOU… half guard, full guard, mounted position, side control, work you all over that octagon!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

You mean to tell me Sasha punched Dana through school buses so much that Dana’s  messed up headtop challenged her to a match? Dana… I’ll have New Cross Hospital on notice, and if STC’S Ed Mulhall comes to visit… I cannot help you…

OH MY GAWD THAT IS ENOUGH!

AAAAAHH SH!T The New Day gone to the Wyatt Compound…. hey Wyatt – BLACK LIVES MATTER!!!! That was some wild sh!t!!!! PG gone out the window! That right there… they just showed the Hardy Bwoy how to do it!

By the way, I have not seen that video the Hardys have done… nor do I have any interest in watching 17 minutes of that sh!t! I am the Infamous Informer and I have better things to do!

Come on kids, How can you want Cena when he’s not there??? You want the Bullet club an excuse to beat him up?

Er…. maybe the kids have summoning powers!!!! John Cena is here! Now the Bullet Club can beat him up!!! Er kids… can you chant Naomi then she can turn GRANT BODY PHENOMup at my door????

GRANT BODY-P!

Now this is what I came to see! Dana you fine but you gonna get BUSS ARSE! As for you Charlotte, you look like you ready to jump out on a casual date with your boy!

Gotta say Dana Brooke is going in with this match though!!!!

Charlotte – I love you but you are outta order and bright – Sasha doesn’t get lucky – no one has been able to defeat her since she jumped on RAW! But you forgot about all that didn’t you Charlotte? Get down on your long knees, take it out my majestic member, and put it between your wet lips, and suck!

GRANT BODY-P!

This is it! We gonna find out who gonna be running tings! They left this segment til last… so this is bound to leave my jaw dropped!

Haha Steph and Shane gotta fight their corner in the boardroom! Vincent Kennedy turn into Alan Sugar now!

Shane got the Smackdown spot, Stephanie got RAW, RAW is still 3 hours… Vincent Kennedy wants them to compete even if they break the law!!!! Inherit the keys to the kingdom! Each gotta employ a general manager as well! Ahhh sh!t! I can hear the fans crying -‘take it back to TV 14! That’s breaking the law!’ And Stephanie nearly brukk her ankle coming down the ring steps! It would be a sad day to see Stephanie with a brukk foot! Then she tried to do the Vincent Kennedy walk! HAHAHAAHAHA! DON’T GIVE ME JOKE!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1197, May 2, 2016

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

you’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own!!!!

I stand before you a man with a headache. You know those headache’s you actually enjoy, because you just celebrated history been made. Leicester’s premiership victory was like the Karate Kid fairytale. It was like the Redman & Method Man concert in Birmingham O2 Institute last week. It was like The Undertaker when he hit 21-0 against CM Princess Peach B!tch… (the sweetest streak victory in my opinion!) You know the women of Leicester are getting the most sex this week!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news, Roman Reigns is STILL your World Wrestling Federation Champion! And oh yeah – SHUDDUP!

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RAW #1197! By the way did I mention The Ryback is my favourite wrestler now??? HAHAHAHAHA GRANT BODY-P!

WWF PROPA TINGZStephanie you sexy as f**k but what’s in the bag? You bought the Infamous Informer something? a PS4 with Street Fighter V? You’re too kind!

Oh it’s for Shane… oh snap it’s that picture frame that Vincent Kennedy broke! Sheeeet – hang it up Shane (the picture that is!)

I don’t exactly understand why Kevin Owens wants to re-focus on the Intercontinental Championship… at the same time, I understand that Money Innah Bank soon come.

Where are the Gucci shoes Mr Cesaro??? Aaah sh!t he makes a case about been screwed out the Intercontinental Championship! LET’S DO THIS SH!T! Winner becomes #1 contender!

Don’t start the match yet – let me grab my pizzas from out the oven!

Oh dear – if The Miz & Maryse are gonna be so annoying at ringside, then no wonder Kevin Owens and Cesaro had to uppercut the glasses off Miz’s Money Maker! Sami Zany gets involved, then holds the Intercontinental Title in the air, and the spirit of Danny Bryan is felt in St Louis!

Meanwhile…Stephanie McMahon is seen flirting with Deano… and in the Ambrose Asylum… she says Deano can ask her anything… ANYTHING??? Deano rustling his hands like ‘now you’re talking’! GOD DAYUUUUUM! The first question I’d ask her.. is ‘can I get some pu$$y???’

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh hell naw they gonna team R-Truth with Tyler Battybwoy? I’m surprised Goldust doesn’t fancy him… Oh no he found a tag team partner… what a downgrade… Fandango went from Summer Rae… to an upgrade in Layla (which I might add – got Fandango on my bad side eternally) to Rosa Mendes, to Goldust???? This is the part where I take a long sheeeeet!

You can watch this video while I’m gone…

Yeah I know… random…

Due to Enzo being shut down temporarily, Big Cass becomes a New Day member for the week! That is cool! Now beat down these Vaudevillian fools! (the Dudley Boyz are not fools though…) It is a real shame that the tournament sponsored by Booty-Os got shut down like that.

This match is cool but where’s my favourite wrestler – The Ryback????!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

You know it would have been a mark out moment if Roman Reigns said ‘The question is, can the three of you take on the three of us?’ And instead of the Usos, Rollins and Ambrose appeared… but that can wait!

Oh snap! I wasn’t gonna write about this but Emma defeated Becky Lynch! WHOA! They are really changing sh!t up aren’t they!GRANT BODY PHENOM

HERE WE GO!!!!! This is what I came to see! Nope – not Ric Flair – not the Ryback – but the Ambrose Asylum! Do us proud Deano! Ask Steph the dirtiest questions!!!

Maybe he won’t… I mean… Renee Young though… and she wears a B.I.G. t-shirt…

Hmmm why is Stephanie acting so nice all of a sudden???? And is Deano playing mind games here?

Oh snap! Stephanie can’t cancel the Ambrose Asylum???? And she brought back the Highlight reel? But Steph – Jericho cusses you on a regular basis! Er… I don’t understand this!

FOR REAL! Titus O’Neill is back! He won’t touch Vincent Kennedy again! And there’s no League of Nations! and Baron Corbin enters the arena! There’s my champion! It would have been Titus but…

Battle Royal US title jump off! Winner fights Kalisto!

Hold up – Apollo Crews is in there! Er… I change my pick!

Wait a minute – Corbin is eliminated by Ziggler, and Apollo Crews eliminated by Sheamus… that makes things interesting!

Oh dear! Zack Ryder getting stamped out by the… can I call em League of Nations??? I could for about 20 seconds!

Ryder & Rusev – last guys in the battle royal! COME ON RUSEV! Don’t let this fool win! Rusev has DONE IT! Here comes Lana with her sexy @$$! Get back the title and start the second reign of terror!

Calling it now – Rusev defeats Kalisto… then John Cena comes back on Memorial Day because Lana & Rusev start calling the crowd ‘Stupid Americans!’ Just like that – Cena drops the AA on Rusev again and then the John Cena invitational starts again! Remember I told ya!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO! Turns out that Charles Robinson is apart of the Flair family! Lil’ Naitch! TEEEEEEEEF!!! It all comes together now! There’s something about that leggy Charlotte… ah that’s right – it IS her legs! You know I have a weakness for women with long legs! I gotta a song for you Charlotte and your long legs… it goes a lil something like this… bring your sexy legs here…

She keeps looking at me
So now she gon’ get it
She want it
And by the wonderful moaning
That makes a beautiful night, baby
What a beautiful life, baby!

GRANT BODY-P!

Uh oh – somebody is bex! I don’t think Nattie has come out to ch… or maybe she has… oh no she’s out to cuss Ric! Take it easy Nattie!

Why has Ric Flair took off his jacket???!!!! NO! Nattie put Ric in the sharpshooter! Watch his ticker! Because when the clock goes tick…

I smell an I Quit match between Nattie & Charlotte at the Extreme Rules joint! Don’t you!

Ok – I can ryde to a submission match… but Ric Flair banned from ringside? No Stephanie that’s preposterous! You need to re-think this!

Ok main event jump off! The Roman Empire Vs The Bullet Club! AAHHH SH!T It’s about to go down!

Bullet Club wins the ruckus! But Styles ain’t tryna use the steel chair! But he used it on the Usos! Roman saw it! Oh dear Styles you gonna get f**ked up!

OH SNAP!!! Roman sets Styles up, powerbomb through the table! BLAOW!!!! GOOD LORD! You don’t f**k with Roman’s fam!

Roman haters I put this to you… If you saw somebody beating on your family, would you or would you not snap and beat out that person’s blodclart? If you still boo Roman – YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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COMBAT  SPORT

 

Monday Night Raw #1191, March 21, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I stand before you an ashamed wrestling fan. Yeah I said it. I am disgusted to be apart of this community. I put it to you. I’m not a father but I am a proud uncle. Suppose one day I decided to take my niece and nephew to a local indie wrestling show, and the performers act like they gonna drop the people’s elbow but instead takes down his draws and reveals his sexual reproductive system for everyone to see, knowing that it’s filmed? Doesn’t look good does it? SORT YOUR SH!T OUT JABRONIES!

In other news, Sting denies any form of retirement… at least for now… looks like my STC From The UK co-host’s celebrations were premature…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW #1191! Have you heard of Fifth Harmony? Nah, me neither, but I googled em… they can come to WrestleMania ANYTIME!

WWF PROPA TINGZI wonder why Stephanie looks so happy? Oh yeah I forgot – I GOT IN THAT PU$$Y And turned into the chojin!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh dear Triple is not at RAW! We got 60 seconds to get refund! I didn’t put my hand in my pocket – did you???

Sheeeet! Roman Reigns doesn’t come down the stairs anymore! You jabronies hope he turns heel… I told you last week – ABANDON HOPE! What you think he’s gonna do – I already beat up Stephanie’s pum-pum!

How did Roman Reigns manage to silence Stephanie??? I mean I was gonna use a pillow but…

Stephanie tried to slap him! Roman used his kung fu and blocked it! “Now I’m the authority!”

You are still deluded… aren’t you? How is a ‘Double Turn’ (between Reigns & Triple) gonna work? Please wrestling fans… USE YOUR BENEFIT OF INTELLECT!

Crack open the Jaffa Cakes and the Supermalt – AJ Styles vs Kevin Owens! Y’all ready for some wrestling??? Sure you are… LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

How did Styles kick out of Kevin Owens frog splash? Er it’s very simple really… he used his chi and wrestling instincts and combined his mental and physical prowess and kicked out at 2! YES AJ Styles can do it too muthaf***a!

How does chanting for AJ Styles make you LOSE the match? If you are not the fans and you are Chris Jericho! You guys need to sort a stipulation for this sh!t!

Where is Ziggler going? In fact where is The Miz going? All of a sudden these muthaf***az wanna test Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Title? I thought Sami Zayn had beef with Owens?

Here he is! Mr Zayn! Ok just throw all these muthaf***az in a ladder match for big BIG WrestleMania!

Well KO is hoping that those three jabronies can battle it out for the chance… Well, Ziggler, Zayn and Miz could make for a fantastic contest!

Talking of jabronies… are you STILL negative about WrestleMania??? Are you still throwing ignorant memes? Well meme no more… first Mick Foley gives Deano a bat with barbed wire, now Terry Funk gives Deano a chainsaw???? Er Brock… I never thought I’d say this but… YUH GOOSE COOK!

Is it me or Kevin Owens sound intimidated when he was speaking to Stephanie? HAHAAHAHA!

New Day Rocks so much that even the League of Nations have to laugh at their promos! New Day Killing em! They just said to Sheamus – they could have named him ‘Stephen’! Er… that IS HIS NAME RIGHT??!!!

Oh no! As Rusev is getting beat down by Big E, Xavier sends for Francesca II! I think it’s safe to say that the New Day have turned face under our noses folks!

Wait a minute… Vincent Kennedy has an announcement regarding Hell In Ah Cell? Ok this is the part where I get nervous… not around the Wyatt fools though… they talking sh!t as usual…sounds like at least for the moment, Braun Strowman wants to test Deano… if Deano is bringing his new gifts with him, Braun Strowman will become Doodoo Brown Strowman!

GRANT BODY-P!

Big BIG WrestleMania 32 LOGO

By calling yourselves ‘Voltron’ Social Outcasts… you have insulted the Wu-Tang Clan. That is something you just don’t do!

NOW Look what you done! FYYYYRE!!! IT’S KANE!!!! Dashed those Social idiots out! Then chokeslammed The Big show from the top ropes – BLAOW! There’s my dude for the Andre the Giant Battle Royal jump off this year!

WHAAAART? Fandango still works here? I suppose he gotta get that WrestleMania money… that’s it Jericho…. KILL HIM… wouldn’t it be crazy if AJ Styles came out chanting ‘Y2J’ and throw him off his game and have Fandango win? It would be HUGE!

WHOA!!! What the rarse did I just say! AJ Styles chants ‘Y2JACK@$$!’ but Jericho was still able to win… come on now stipulation!!!!

“I’d love to see that at WrestleMania…” NO YOU DON’T MIKE COLE! You saw it already how many blodclart times!

Yo they are hyping up this Hell In A Cell match with all these promos and what both Shane and Undertaker can do… aaaah sh!t the hype is real people! Whoever Loses – I WIN! Shane wins… he takes control of the company. Undertaker wins, I TAKE CONTROL of theGrant Body Pcompany! Whatever the outcome… I WIN!!!!

Hold up – How come Kevin Owens is switching this up! How come he’s announcing Stardust, Sin Cara & Zack Ryder???

Uh-Oh! Sami Zayn gonna deal with the case! Miz & Ziggler are on their way too! Yes – throw the lot of em in the ladder match! DO IT STEPHANIE!

Everybody needs a WrestleMania pay check right???

Calling it now – Either Owens will retain, or Sami Zayn becomes the next Intercontinental champion…. the feud will continue into a personal one on one situation between the two at the Backlash joint. (Extreme Rules Grant) – yeah yeah I know! For those jabronies who think Zack Ryder gonna win… ABANDON HOPE!

Check it out, Stephanie calls Triple to pick her up, they about to leave the building. Just as the car pulls off, look who’s waiting… Roman Reigns! He wants to beat down Triple’s Blodclart! Roman is so lucky it wasn’t 15 years ago when Triple had 10 men behind him! But makes his escape! He gonna get his hammer for sure!

So while Natalya and Charlotte compete in the ring, and Sasha and Becky are squabbling on commentary, lets throw up a pic of my wife who got away… look at her soul glow!

Naomi glow

While R-Truth fights Bubba Ray Dudley, we got breaking news from the bossman of the BDSIR NETWORK – MIKE KNOXXX! He has a special interview with the man called Kevin Owens! The World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Champion! It is a CANNOT MISS episode! Tuesday 5pmEST 9pmUK – DROP THE BOMB ON EM! (Download links available after the show!)

Mike Knoxxx KO

UH-OH!!! VINCENT KENNEDY IS HERE!!! This is it… this is where I get nervous with the announcement…

WHOA! Shane could be Undertaker’s most formidable WrestleMania opponent??? More than Brock? Triple? MICHAELS???? Are you sure Vince?

Now Vincent Kennedy has said it now! Vince’s b!tch? If Undertaker doesn’t win, it will be his ‘last’ WrestleMania??? What does that mean? Undertaker retires? Or Undertaker just cannot compete at WrestleMania? Oh F**k… I knew this was gonna happen!

Suddenly I cannot write anymore… give me a moment… or a week for that matter…

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1185, February 8, 2016

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!
Danny Bryan retirement

THAT’S F**KED UP.

However fans still have hope… why? Because after Mark Henry, it is very difficult to tell if a retirement is real. Mark Henry raised the bar in 2013. Plus, Daniel Bryan recently released a commercial about how he overcame adversity. Also it’s strategy to get those ratings up too for everybody to tune in.

On the other hand… his recent picture of him in a restaurant shows him sporting a trimmed beard… which indicates he finally got in the chair after Vincent Kennedy yelled at him to do so. That’s what he’s known for… #RespectTheBeard right? So why has he trimmed it???

If the retirement is true… it’s gonna be as heartbreaking as Edge’s retirement was…

…AND THAT’S F**KED UP!!!

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GRANT BODY -P!

RAW #1185! I am the Infamous Informer, I promise I won’t cry, unless it’s the lord’s name in vain if I was in bed with YOU KNOW WHO!

WWF PROPA TINGZAaah sh!t this is how it starts…. A Danny Bryan tribute video… this is a sad day for wrestling fans, particularly those on the internet… their darling is about to leave the building…

Daniel Bryan chants already… maybe he shouldn’t have announced it on twitter… this could potentially f**k up RAW…

We gonna start this sh!t with a contract signing… I think we should get all this wrestling sh!t over with and leave Danny til last… because as soon as he comes out, nothing else matters…

Well Roman is right, let’s get this over with as Deano wants to punch Brock in the mouth corner…

Oh dear that didn’t go to well – Ambriose steps up to Brock,  F5 to Ambrose – BLAOW!!!! Then Triple’s music hit… Brock on one side of the ramp, Triple on the stage, staring each other down… Aaah sh!t it’s about to go down!

And before this blog is finalisd and sent out to Fox Sports 1340am Hopewell, and Cage Amateurs UK, Deano swears he gonna get Brock Lesnar and mash him up!! Yo Deano… take a steel chair with you!

What? Owens Vs Ziggler AGAIN???? What is this the 3rd match in a row??? That’s it – I’m DUN… show me something different! Fight backstage, get the cars out have a good old parking lot brawl… I’m not watching this wrestling sh!t!

Here’s a pic of Gabi/Raquel… for NO REASON!

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Just think… Gabi could have been on Total Divas… but WWE chose another blondie… as much as I hate Paige, she is right – that Mandy better know how to wrestle… because Gabi got dissed for Mandy… y’all upset about Danny retiring… I’m still comprehending this!

GRANT BODY-P!

The only thing good about that match was Ziggler using the ropes to get the win over Owens, and Owens acting a b!tch all over the ring!

Aaaah sh!t! Usos Vs The New Day in a tables match… NO…. SAVE THE TABLES!!!

Er… Bubba – you are DEAD WRONG about the WWE Universe not liking The New Day… but now you want to involve the tables in this??? No… is that petition still going??? Please! Anything but this! Put Lana on a pole – anything but TABLES!!! NO!!!

Official – Charlotte defends her World Wrestling Federation Divas Championship against Brie Bella… but with Danny Bryan retiring… will this have a profound effect on the outcome of the match? I still see Charlotte retaining…and my Sasha Banks theory stands…

I love supporting my black wrestlers but I can’t ride with Alicia Fox again – Charlotte – mash her up! I respect Alicia’s tenure and her role in the company but that’s about it..

Look at Ric Flair… you know he’s itching to cause trouble… now Flair, keep your hands to yourself… I know Brie is fine as a muthaf***a!

Charlotte looked like she was gonna figure 8 the weave out of Alicia!

GRANT BODY – P!!

Big up AJ Styles! He kicked down The Miz in his money maker! Knocked his teeth into his throat! And yet, The Miz continues to run his mouth…

OH SH!T! Jericho just came through and changed sh!t! F**K MizTV, no one likes that sh!t! Send for the Jeritron 65000!

Miz – you still here??? Jericho – kick him in his mouth already!

Has Miz made a valid point though? That it’s burning Jericho’s soul like Ether that AJ Styles defeated him in a wrestling contest?

Meanwhile, turns out it will be an 8-man tables match… The Dudley Boyz join The Usos, The New Day gotta find somebody else to join them… any takers?

Well, seems like you wrestling jabronies like Ryback in his new attire… you like his brief… I hear the Goldberg chants which don’t help either… The Infamous Informer does not give a f**k about his attire…  what’s the saying – you cannot polish a turd?

GRANT BODY-P!!

I’m playing – I like the Ryback… always have from the jump. I still believe he can make it back to main event status… just like I do with Wade Barrett.

See what I mean? You cannot polish a turd! Ryback cannot manage the Wyatt bwoy dem… now they gonna harvest him… unless Big Show & Kane combine their force!

OH MY DAYS BIG E JUST KILLED IT! The New Day, working on the tables… Big E… singing like it’s the slavery days! Like it’s 1555!!!! Then Renee Young just had to show up showing legs and sh!t asking if they found a 4th partner… OHHHHHHH! She is sexy as f**k and she knows it!

It’s a shame The New Day are not continuing the #SaveTheTables campaign…

Social Outcasts Vs Titus…. ok let’s switch to babestation let’s see who’s on to entertain me…I am him

You guys like Hannah Martin? She aiiiight…. she’s not quite ‘Charmaine Sinclair’ for me though… I like older women…

Dayuuuum Ambrose is going in!!! Calling him SAWFT???? Saying his F5 was ‘nothing?’ good lord! This reminds me of Jeff Hardy and The Undertaker in a way… Jeff didn’t stop at The Undertaker until Big Evil had to respect him!

It’s like Ambrose put a red ring over his own head and now it’s the Rage of Lesnar on some God Of War sh!t!

Reigns music hits! Reigns is just sauntering… Ambrose recovers enough to punch Lesnar right in ‘Minnesota’! Oh man…

Why is Ambrose f**k!n with someone who broke the streak??? Who destroyed John Cena to the point Cena cannot main event ever again?

By the way – who was it who said Bertie was injured? Aaah never mind F**k all that – Shout out to the Wrestling Summit – they have something important they need to say…

Love the Lucha Dragon, Love Bertie & Rusev… but this has come to my attention…

I haven’t done a wrestling video blog in months, but I can see myself doing one of these when it’s Undertaker’s time…

Holy f**k – SASHA BANKS! Those hot pants, knee high boots, she might have beaten Bayley at Mortal Kombat but I’d love for her to try and ‘beat’ me!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh man… the match at Fast Lane gonna break my heart… Sasha & Becky Vs Naomi & Tamina… Sorry Sash but Naomi is the love of my wrestling life… whoever loses – I WIN…

OH NO! The New Day got Mark Henry to join them??? Er.. It’s gonna be curtains for the Dudleys and Usos now!

For real? What started as a ‘botch’ from Lillian Garcia, now they are riding with it? I guess the Uso Brudda ARE grammy award winners!

Oh dear! Bossing Mark Henry about is something you don’t do! Mark Henry’s like – F**K IT! ME GONE! New Day goose cook!

WHOA!!! Dudley Boyz turned EVIL!!!! They just put the Uso Brudda through a table!!! Bu-bu-bu-BUT!!!!!

This is it people…. AHH MAN, HOW DO WE SAY GOODBYE… IT’S ALWAYS THE GOOD ONES THAT HAVE TO…

He’s holding back the tears here…just let it out Danny it’s ok… I cry, you cry, we cry, together… shout out to Lil Mo and Ja Rule…

Ok he cut his hair for the purpose of a cancer fund… so respect is due there… it wasn’t for you Vincent Kennedy!

DYAM DUTTY!!! Even in sadness Danny got jokes!!! Everybody with the Yes chant… Danny says – ‘that’s what Brie says all the time!’

Danny gives shout outs to Kane, William Regal, and especially Connor The Crusher. Where is he when we need him? He’s the only guy who can beat TRIPLE TEEF!

That’s it. Daniel Bryan’s wrestling career is over. That means NO wrestling anywhere else, it’s not a work, none of that sh!t. TAKE A BOW DANIEL BRYAN. WE ARE GRATEFUL.

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1179, December 28, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Rock WM32 Instagram

AAAAAAAH SH!T!!! WWE playing the hand they dealt! They gonna fill that muthaf***a – I PROMISE YOU! The question remains – Will he fight?! Well if he announces this – surely it’s to fight right? Or is it trick knowledge to fill the WrestleMania seats in a business stunt?

RAW #1179! LETS GET THAT 2016 FLOW! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZAAAH SH!T!!! VINCENT KENNEDY IN THE BUILDING!!! And my stream is f**k!n about!!! F****K!

ROMAN REIGNS IN THE BUILDING! Oh no… you don’t suppose Vincent Kennedy is gonna fire him? Nah he wants Roman to suffer… just like Austin suffered, like The Rock, Undertaker, HBK…Triple…

Nobody embarasses a McMahon!!! AAAH SH!T – Roman you will pay for this!!! The crowd are dropping the WHAT chant on Vincent Kennedy! I’m surprised he hasn’t said – SHUT UP WHILE I’M TALKING! And he still claims he is a certified billionaire! This segment is great! Crowd with the YES Chant supporting Reigns! Yo this kid is over rude boy!

Crowd chanting Daniel Bryan & CM Punk… but I don’t know why… and Vincent Kennedy is like – SHUUUUUDDDDDUP!!!!!! LAWWWWWWWD!

Is Vincent Kennedy throwing racial slurs against the Samoans??? Hey Vince – Samoan lives matter!!! Look what happen – you assaulted a police officer! Everytime you say ‘I’m Vince McMahon damnit’ something bad happens to you!!!! Vincent Kennedy is arrested like a common criminal! Roman Reigns should have poured beer down the back of his neck! I liked how Reigns had the mic to the police while they were saying Vince had a right to an attorney!!! Reigns smiling and sh!t!!! HAHAHAHA!!! Thy should have arrested Stephanie too – well I would have arrested Stephanie!!! Just for wearing those sexy @$$ knee high boots… SEXY B!TCH!!!

Stephanie in my thronePhoto courtesy of PG Kills WWE FB group

You mean to tell me I blinked and I missed Neville beat Kevin Owens??? You don’t do that!!! Now Neville is getting BUSS ARSE! Ok guys! two things you DON’T DO – tweet Owens in a negative, and counter his Pop-up powerbomb into a pin!!! If you do – RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!

Holy sh!t! the referees were carrying Neville up the ramp, then Owens ran out – what a dutty clothesline – BLAOW! A move JBL would be proud of! But then Ambrose comes out!!!! Fist and fire all over Owens! Yes Ambrose! Get that fat f**k!

GRANT BODY -P!

John Cena fights Bertie in the Raw Main Event – will he win back the US championship? If he does, the haters be like – “Del Rio got buried – Cena’s making the League of Nations look…” I got an idea – you haters SHUT THE F**K UP! No new years resolutions from the Infamous Informer – I will continue to put the haters in their place!!!

Team BAD I love you but you can’t diss Brooklyn??? You three are lucky Ol’ Dirty Bastard and Sean Price are not here – they would tell you to Shut the f**k up and suck their d!ck with barbecue sauce – P!!!!

Jay-Z & Biggie Smalls – Sasha drop your draws!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

 

Becky – it’s not looking good for you girl – Sasha gonna mash you up – WWE2K16 GRANT BODY -P!Saying that these two always put on a fantasic contest…

Becky Lynch – High risk manuever coming up – splashes the whole of Tean BAD! She gonna pay for that I will assure you!

But Sasha is dominating Becky in this match! And she hollered – UNITY! with her Team BAD girls!

Aaaah sh!t! Becky hung up on the apron, Sasha bounces off the ropes, comes back makes a suicide dive – missed Becky – hit her two Set It Off sistas!

Good counter tchnique sequence in the closing moments of that match but Sasha with a roll up and pull the tights for the win! Yes people! We gonna see Sasha beat up Becky Lynch every week until big big WrestleMania… the pay off will be great folks! LET THE STORYLINE PLAY OUT!

HAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! They just showed a mugshot of Vincent Kennedy!!!! as soon as the STC boys get that shot – it will be here!

The New Day are right – you jabronies didn’t vote for them for tag team of the year – so they ain’t singing for your dumb @$$!

AAAH SH!T – HERE IT IS!!!! I can see the IWC using this for memes such as ‘arrested for not pushing Cesaro’, ‘bad booking’… oh no the possibilities are endless!

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Xavier Wuss! That should be his new name! Sin Cara was right to jump in when The New Day were teefin! But get the joke! Xavier take off shirt and was then like – you know what? Payback is a BIIIIIIIIIG E! Oh dear Sin Cara you are in trouble now!

First Kevin Owens, Now the New Day are telling Mike Cole how to call the match! And everytime Sin Cara gets brukk up by Big E, that trombone will play!

Oh dear… seems like Big E mashed up Sin Cara’s shoulder! Did you IWC trainspotters see the ref throw up the ‘X’ sign? You like to see that sh!t don’t you?! all those minor details! (f**kouttahere…)

Damn Sin Cara is determined he gonna finish this muthaf***a!

Well yeah – Big E finished it for you… spectacular moves aside – the Big Ending put you down son….

While The Miz does his Year in Review, It gives me the chance to plug the upcoming STC From the UK best of 2015 show… Hit the BDSIR NETWORK logo at the bottom of this blog and it will take you right there…

Yeah – no one wants to hear The Miz and his battyman self… not even the Ryback who says 2016 gonna be his year! You are the big guy, and Goldust likes big guys!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

Talking of battyman… Zack Ryder is here! He claims 2016 gonna be his year too! Well The Grant says Zack Ryder is right – it will be his year when he finally gets FUTURE ENDEAVOURED!

GRANT BODY-P!

So what’s up R-Truth? He says vote for him for Superstar of the year! Ok Truth, I got you for 2016! But what about Heath Slater?? Or even The Big Show??? What is this – the future endeavoured segement?

The Big Show! Punched Slater through schoolbuses! Beat down Goldust and The Miz! R-Truth tries to knock himself out but it doesn’t work! CHOKESLAAAAAM! BLAOW! Ryback tries to test him… but he gets dashed out by Show! Crowd want him to retire! But Big Show is like F**K YOU! I’m gonna enter the Rumble at #1, and win that muthaf***a and go to big BIG WrestleMania!!! Oh ny god no – that must be prevented! In the words of he who WILL be at WrestleMania, if the Big Show is gonna headline Wrestlemania, then WrestleMania is gonna absolutely SUCK!

Crowd chanmting Big…Show Sucks ‘New Day Style’!!! And New Day didn’t win the best tag team award… sorry kids you made a boo-boo there!

Good luck to the Uso Brudda and Ambrose… they face The League of Nations… they mashed them up last week…

Has Sheamus joined the Vincent Kennedy kiss my arse club? I mean I’m a fan of the 70 year old, but damn Sheamus!!!

Crowd chanting – We Want Lana! Wise strategy by Rusev to keep lana out of harms way… face it fans – you want Lana but Lana don’t want you!

Oh man the League of Nations dedicated the match to Vincent Kennedy! Uh-Oh – they best win this contest! If they don’t – bwoyyyyyyy!!!!

…and the League of Nations fulfilled their dedication to McMahon! That ain’t the issue – Kevin Owens straight up attacked Ambrose!!! Damn! Y’all should have voted for Owens last week! This is on your head fans… NOT MINE!

Kevin Owens – Powerbomb through the table – BLAOW!!!! Ambrose – him dead now!

Replaying the opening segment… did Stephanie just say that was police brutality???? Clearly Stephanie didn’t see what happened to Eric Garner! Vince could breathe perfectly!

John Cena has arrived! The 15x Champ is here! Come on Bertie, get out here so you can get Cenalised! defend the symbol of excellence!

But I might side with Bertie here… I mean, he says the people don’t deserve a US Championship Match… They chanted CM Princess Peach B!tch earlier… sh!t I would have said that in my promo! Sheeeeet – shoot on em!!!!

LAWWWD HAVE MERCY! Cena mentioned the Notorious B.I.G. and Jay-Z! Er… Bertie – I think you should put the title on the line!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

NOW BERTIE HAS PUT THE TITLE ON THE LINE!!!! HERE WE GO!!!

Jay-Z Biggie Smalls Bertie sh!t your draws! Cena going out for all! AND YOU DON’T STOP!

Before the battle commences… Shout out to Lemmy from Motorhead… I mean, this is RePPiN4U: Represent Real Hip Hop but I did like the tunes he made for Triple and Evolution… and that other tune – The Ace of Spades. Lemmy deserves his props. He gonna find himself in the HOF watch…. #LiveOnLiveLong

Damn Bertie is kicking down Cena all over that ring! Not looking good for the kids favourite!

Uh-oh!!! The ref knocked out, Cena hit the STF super move, now The League of Nations have come out to teef… and just for the record… Vincent Kennedy got bailed out… is he on his way back to the arena?

All that teefing! And Cena still kicking out at 2! Yes IWC smoke that sh!t and get high on it!

Cena had the match won, but the League of Nations are making sure Bertie doesn’t get Cenalised!

But the Usos! Mash up and all jumping in the fight! Just waiting for Roman to come down the stairs!

F**k the stairs! He hit the spear on Rusev! He’s beating on Sheamus!

OH NO! VINCENT KENNEDY IS HERE! Just in time! Oh sh!t!!!

Next week, Roman must defend his World Wrestling Federation Championship against Sheamus!!! Vincent Kennedy is gonna be the guest referee! If I was Roman, I’d study what Austin did when he was in that situation!

HAPPY NEW YEAR MUTHAF***AZ!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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