Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!
I stand before you an ashamed wrestling fan. Yeah I said it. I am disgusted to be apart of this community. I put it to you. I’m not a father but I am a proud uncle. Suppose one day I decided to take my niece and nephew to a local indie wrestling show, and the performers act like they gonna drop the people’s elbow but instead takes down his draws and reveals his sexual reproductive system for everyone to see, knowing that it’s filmed? Doesn’t look good does it? SORT YOUR SH!T OUT JABRONIES!
In other news, Sting denies any form of retirement… at least for now… looks like my STC From The UK co-host’s celebrations were premature…
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RAW #1191! Have you heard of Fifth Harmony? Nah, me neither, but I googled em… they can come to WrestleMania ANYTIME!
Oh dear Triple is not at RAW! We got 60 seconds to get refund! I didn’t put my hand in my pocket – did you???
Sheeeet! Roman Reigns doesn’t come down the stairs anymore! You jabronies hope he turns heel… I told you last week – ABANDON HOPE! What you think he’s gonna do – I already beat up Stephanie’s pum-pum!
How did Roman Reigns manage to silence Stephanie??? I mean I was gonna use a pillow but…
Stephanie tried to slap him! Roman used his kung fu and blocked it! “Now I’m the authority!”
You are still deluded… aren’t you? How is a ‘Double Turn’ (between Reigns & Triple) gonna work? Please wrestling fans… USE YOUR BENEFIT OF INTELLECT!
Crack open the Jaffa Cakes and the Supermalt – AJ Styles vs Kevin Owens! Y’all ready for some wrestling??? Sure you are… LET’S DO THIS SH!T!
How did Styles kick out of Kevin Owens frog splash? Er it’s very simple really… he used his chi and wrestling instincts and combined his mental and physical prowess and kicked out at 2! YES AJ Styles can do it too muthaf***a!
How does chanting for AJ Styles make you LOSE the match? If you are not the fans and you are Chris Jericho! You guys need to sort a stipulation for this sh!t!
Where is Ziggler going? In fact where is The Miz going? All of a sudden these muthaf***az wanna test Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Title? I thought Sami Zayn had beef with Owens?
Here he is! Mr Zayn! Ok just throw all these muthaf***az in a ladder match for big BIG WrestleMania!
Well KO is hoping that those three jabronies can battle it out for the chance… Well, Ziggler, Zayn and Miz could make for a fantastic contest!
Talking of jabronies… are you STILL negative about WrestleMania??? Are you still throwing ignorant memes? Well meme no more… first Mick Foley gives Deano a bat with barbed wire, now Terry Funk gives Deano a chainsaw???? Er Brock… I never thought I’d say this but… YUH GOOSE COOK!
Is it me or Kevin Owens sound intimidated when he was speaking to Stephanie? HAHAAHAHA!
New Day Rocks so much that even the League of Nations have to laugh at their promos! New Day Killing em! They just said to Sheamus – they could have named him ‘Stephen’! Er… that IS HIS NAME RIGHT??!!!
Oh no! As Rusev is getting beat down by Big E, Xavier sends for Francesca II! I think it’s safe to say that the New Day have turned face under our noses folks!
Wait a minute… Vincent Kennedy has an announcement regarding Hell In Ah Cell? Ok this is the part where I get nervous… not around the Wyatt fools though… they talking sh!t as usual…sounds like at least for the moment, Braun Strowman wants to test Deano… if Deano is bringing his new gifts with him, Braun Strowman will become Doodoo Brown Strowman!
By calling yourselves ‘Voltron’ Social Outcasts… you have insulted the Wu-Tang Clan. That is something you just don’t do!
NOW Look what you done! FYYYYRE!!! IT’S KANE!!!! Dashed those Social idiots out! Then chokeslammed The Big show from the top ropes – BLAOW! There’s my dude for the Andre the Giant Battle Royal jump off this year!
WHAAAART? Fandango still works here? I suppose he gotta get that WrestleMania money… that’s it Jericho…. KILL HIM… wouldn’t it be crazy if AJ Styles came out chanting ‘Y2J’ and throw him off his game and have Fandango win? It would be HUGE!
WHOA!!! What the rarse did I just say! AJ Styles chants ‘Y2JACK@$$!’ but Jericho was still able to win… come on now stipulation!!!!
“I’d love to see that at WrestleMania…” NO YOU DON’T MIKE COLE! You saw it already how many blodclart times!
Yo they are hyping up this Hell In A Cell match with all these promos and what both Shane and Undertaker can do… aaaah sh!t the hype is real people! Whoever Loses – I WIN! Shane wins… he takes control of the company. Undertaker wins, I TAKE CONTROL of thecompany! Whatever the outcome… I WIN!!!!
Hold up – How come Kevin Owens is switching this up! How come he’s announcing Stardust, Sin Cara & Zack Ryder???
Uh-Oh! Sami Zayn gonna deal with the case! Miz & Ziggler are on their way too! Yes – throw the lot of em in the ladder match! DO IT STEPHANIE!
Everybody needs a WrestleMania pay check right???
Calling it now – Either Owens will retain, or Sami Zayn becomes the next Intercontinental champion…. the feud will continue into a personal one on one situation between the two at the Backlash joint. (Extreme Rules Grant) – yeah yeah I know! For those jabronies who think Zack Ryder gonna win… ABANDON HOPE!
Check it out, Stephanie calls Triple to pick her up, they about to leave the building. Just as the car pulls off, look who’s waiting… Roman Reigns! He wants to beat down Triple’s Blodclart! Roman is so lucky it wasn’t 15 years ago when Triple had 10 men behind him! But makes his escape! He gonna get his hammer for sure!
So while Natalya and Charlotte compete in the ring, and Sasha and Becky are squabbling on commentary, lets throw up a pic of my wife who got away… look at her soul glow!
While R-Truth fights Bubba Ray Dudley, we got breaking news from the bossman of the BDSIR NETWORK – MIKE KNOXXX! He has a special interview with the man called Kevin Owens! The World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Champion! It is a CANNOT MISS episode! Tuesday 5pmEST 9pmUK – DROP THE BOMB ON EM! (Download links available after the show!)
UH-OH!!! VINCENT KENNEDY IS HERE!!! This is it… this is where I get nervous with the announcement…
WHOA! Shane could be Undertaker’s most formidable WrestleMania opponent??? More than Brock? Triple? MICHAELS???? Are you sure Vince?
Now Vincent Kennedy has said it now! Vince’s b!tch? If Undertaker doesn’t win, it will be his ‘last’ WrestleMania??? What does that mean? Undertaker retires? Or Undertaker just cannot compete at WrestleMania? Oh F**k… I knew this was gonna happen!
Suddenly I cannot write anymore… give me a moment… or a week for that matter…
SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.
Thanks to The Infamous Informer. For more Combat Sport Check us out at www.cageamateursuk.com