Tag Archives: The Miz

Monday Night Raw #1191, March 21, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I stand before you an ashamed wrestling fan. Yeah I said it. I am disgusted to be apart of this community. I put it to you. I’m not a father but I am a proud uncle. Suppose one day I decided to take my niece and nephew to a local indie wrestling show, and the performers act like they gonna drop the people’s elbow but instead takes down his draws and reveals his sexual reproductive system for everyone to see, knowing that it’s filmed? Doesn’t look good does it? SORT YOUR SH!T OUT JABRONIES!

In other news, Sting denies any form of retirement… at least for now… looks like my STC From The UK co-host’s celebrations were premature…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW #1191! Have you heard of Fifth Harmony? Nah, me neither, but I googled em… they can come to WrestleMania ANYTIME!

WWF PROPA TINGZI wonder why Stephanie looks so happy? Oh yeah I forgot – I GOT IN THAT PU$$Y And turned into the chojin!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh dear Triple is not at RAW! We got 60 seconds to get refund! I didn’t put my hand in my pocket – did you???

Sheeeet! Roman Reigns doesn’t come down the stairs anymore! You jabronies hope he turns heel… I told you last week – ABANDON HOPE! What you think he’s gonna do – I already beat up Stephanie’s pum-pum!

How did Roman Reigns manage to silence Stephanie??? I mean I was gonna use a pillow but…

Stephanie tried to slap him! Roman used his kung fu and blocked it! “Now I’m the authority!”

You are still deluded… aren’t you? How is a ‘Double Turn’ (between Reigns & Triple) gonna work? Please wrestling fans… USE YOUR BENEFIT OF INTELLECT!

Crack open the Jaffa Cakes and the Supermalt – AJ Styles vs Kevin Owens! Y’all ready for some wrestling??? Sure you are… LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

How did Styles kick out of Kevin Owens frog splash? Er it’s very simple really… he used his chi and wrestling instincts and combined his mental and physical prowess and kicked out at 2! YES AJ Styles can do it too muthaf***a!

How does chanting for AJ Styles make you LOSE the match? If you are not the fans and you are Chris Jericho! You guys need to sort a stipulation for this sh!t!

Where is Ziggler going? In fact where is The Miz going? All of a sudden these muthaf***az wanna test Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Title? I thought Sami Zayn had beef with Owens?

Here he is! Mr Zayn! Ok just throw all these muthaf***az in a ladder match for big BIG WrestleMania!

Well KO is hoping that those three jabronies can battle it out for the chance… Well, Ziggler, Zayn and Miz could make for a fantastic contest!

Talking of jabronies… are you STILL negative about WrestleMania??? Are you still throwing ignorant memes? Well meme no more… first Mick Foley gives Deano a bat with barbed wire, now Terry Funk gives Deano a chainsaw???? Er Brock… I never thought I’d say this but… YUH GOOSE COOK!

Is it me or Kevin Owens sound intimidated when he was speaking to Stephanie? HAHAAHAHA!

New Day Rocks so much that even the League of Nations have to laugh at their promos! New Day Killing em! They just said to Sheamus – they could have named him ‘Stephen’! Er… that IS HIS NAME RIGHT??!!!

Oh no! As Rusev is getting beat down by Big E, Xavier sends for Francesca II! I think it’s safe to say that the New Day have turned face under our noses folks!

Wait a minute… Vincent Kennedy has an announcement regarding Hell In Ah Cell? Ok this is the part where I get nervous… not around the Wyatt fools though… they talking sh!t as usual…sounds like at least for the moment, Braun Strowman wants to test Deano… if Deano is bringing his new gifts with him, Braun Strowman will become Doodoo Brown Strowman!

GRANT BODY-P!

Big BIG WrestleMania 32 LOGO

By calling yourselves ‘Voltron’ Social Outcasts… you have insulted the Wu-Tang Clan. That is something you just don’t do!

NOW Look what you done! FYYYYRE!!! IT’S KANE!!!! Dashed those Social idiots out! Then chokeslammed The Big show from the top ropes – BLAOW! There’s my dude for the Andre the Giant Battle Royal jump off this year!

WHAAAART? Fandango still works here? I suppose he gotta get that WrestleMania money… that’s it Jericho…. KILL HIM… wouldn’t it be crazy if AJ Styles came out chanting ‘Y2J’ and throw him off his game and have Fandango win? It would be HUGE!

WHOA!!! What the rarse did I just say! AJ Styles chants ‘Y2JACK@$$!’ but Jericho was still able to win… come on now stipulation!!!!

“I’d love to see that at WrestleMania…” NO YOU DON’T MIKE COLE! You saw it already how many blodclart times!

Yo they are hyping up this Hell In A Cell match with all these promos and what both Shane and Undertaker can do… aaaah sh!t the hype is real people! Whoever Loses – I WIN! Shane wins… he takes control of the company. Undertaker wins, I TAKE CONTROL of theGrant Body Pcompany! Whatever the outcome… I WIN!!!!

Hold up – How come Kevin Owens is switching this up! How come he’s announcing Stardust, Sin Cara & Zack Ryder???

Uh-Oh! Sami Zayn gonna deal with the case! Miz & Ziggler are on their way too! Yes – throw the lot of em in the ladder match! DO IT STEPHANIE!

Everybody needs a WrestleMania pay check right???

Calling it now – Either Owens will retain, or Sami Zayn becomes the next Intercontinental champion…. the feud will continue into a personal one on one situation between the two at the Backlash joint. (Extreme Rules Grant) – yeah yeah I know! For those jabronies who think Zack Ryder gonna win… ABANDON HOPE!

Check it out, Stephanie calls Triple to pick her up, they about to leave the building. Just as the car pulls off, look who’s waiting… Roman Reigns! He wants to beat down Triple’s Blodclart! Roman is so lucky it wasn’t 15 years ago when Triple had 10 men behind him! But makes his escape! He gonna get his hammer for sure!

So while Natalya and Charlotte compete in the ring, and Sasha and Becky are squabbling on commentary, lets throw up a pic of my wife who got away… look at her soul glow!

Naomi glow

While R-Truth fights Bubba Ray Dudley, we got breaking news from the bossman of the BDSIR NETWORK – MIKE KNOXXX! He has a special interview with the man called Kevin Owens! The World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Champion! It is a CANNOT MISS episode! Tuesday 5pmEST 9pmUK – DROP THE BOMB ON EM! (Download links available after the show!)

Mike Knoxxx KO

UH-OH!!! VINCENT KENNEDY IS HERE!!! This is it… this is where I get nervous with the announcement…

WHOA! Shane could be Undertaker’s most formidable WrestleMania opponent??? More than Brock? Triple? MICHAELS???? Are you sure Vince?

Now Vincent Kennedy has said it now! Vince’s b!tch? If Undertaker doesn’t win, it will be his ‘last’ WrestleMania??? What does that mean? Undertaker retires? Or Undertaker just cannot compete at WrestleMania? Oh F**k… I knew this was gonna happen!

Suddenly I cannot write anymore… give me a moment… or a week for that matter…

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1185, February 8, 2016

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!
Danny Bryan retirement

THAT’S F**KED UP.

However fans still have hope… why? Because after Mark Henry, it is very difficult to tell if a retirement is real. Mark Henry raised the bar in 2013. Plus, Daniel Bryan recently released a commercial about how he overcame adversity. Also it’s strategy to get those ratings up too for everybody to tune in.

On the other hand… his recent picture of him in a restaurant shows him sporting a trimmed beard… which indicates he finally got in the chair after Vincent Kennedy yelled at him to do so. That’s what he’s known for… #RespectTheBeard right? So why has he trimmed it???

If the retirement is true… it’s gonna be as heartbreaking as Edge’s retirement was…

…AND THAT’S F**KED UP!!!

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GRANT BODY -P!

RAW #1185! I am the Infamous Informer, I promise I won’t cry, unless it’s the lord’s name in vain if I was in bed with YOU KNOW WHO!

WWF PROPA TINGZAaah sh!t this is how it starts…. A Danny Bryan tribute video… this is a sad day for wrestling fans, particularly those on the internet… their darling is about to leave the building…

Daniel Bryan chants already… maybe he shouldn’t have announced it on twitter… this could potentially f**k up RAW…

We gonna start this sh!t with a contract signing… I think we should get all this wrestling sh!t over with and leave Danny til last… because as soon as he comes out, nothing else matters…

Well Roman is right, let’s get this over with as Deano wants to punch Brock in the mouth corner…

Oh dear that didn’t go to well – Ambriose steps up to Brock,  F5 to Ambrose – BLAOW!!!! Then Triple’s music hit… Brock on one side of the ramp, Triple on the stage, staring each other down… Aaah sh!t it’s about to go down!

And before this blog is finalisd and sent out to Fox Sports 1340am Hopewell, and Cage Amateurs UK, Deano swears he gonna get Brock Lesnar and mash him up!! Yo Deano… take a steel chair with you!

What? Owens Vs Ziggler AGAIN???? What is this the 3rd match in a row??? That’s it – I’m DUN… show me something different! Fight backstage, get the cars out have a good old parking lot brawl… I’m not watching this wrestling sh!t!

Here’s a pic of Gabi/Raquel… for NO REASON!

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Just think… Gabi could have been on Total Divas… but WWE chose another blondie… as much as I hate Paige, she is right – that Mandy better know how to wrestle… because Gabi got dissed for Mandy… y’all upset about Danny retiring… I’m still comprehending this!

GRANT BODY-P!

The only thing good about that match was Ziggler using the ropes to get the win over Owens, and Owens acting a b!tch all over the ring!

Aaaah sh!t! Usos Vs The New Day in a tables match… NO…. SAVE THE TABLES!!!

Er… Bubba – you are DEAD WRONG about the WWE Universe not liking The New Day… but now you want to involve the tables in this??? No… is that petition still going??? Please! Anything but this! Put Lana on a pole – anything but TABLES!!! NO!!!

Official – Charlotte defends her World Wrestling Federation Divas Championship against Brie Bella… but with Danny Bryan retiring… will this have a profound effect on the outcome of the match? I still see Charlotte retaining…and my Sasha Banks theory stands…

I love supporting my black wrestlers but I can’t ride with Alicia Fox again – Charlotte – mash her up! I respect Alicia’s tenure and her role in the company but that’s about it..

Look at Ric Flair… you know he’s itching to cause trouble… now Flair, keep your hands to yourself… I know Brie is fine as a muthaf***a!

Charlotte looked like she was gonna figure 8 the weave out of Alicia!

GRANT BODY – P!!

Big up AJ Styles! He kicked down The Miz in his money maker! Knocked his teeth into his throat! And yet, The Miz continues to run his mouth…

OH SH!T! Jericho just came through and changed sh!t! F**K MizTV, no one likes that sh!t! Send for the Jeritron 65000!

Miz – you still here??? Jericho – kick him in his mouth already!

Has Miz made a valid point though? That it’s burning Jericho’s soul like Ether that AJ Styles defeated him in a wrestling contest?

Meanwhile, turns out it will be an 8-man tables match… The Dudley Boyz join The Usos, The New Day gotta find somebody else to join them… any takers?

Well, seems like you wrestling jabronies like Ryback in his new attire… you like his brief… I hear the Goldberg chants which don’t help either… The Infamous Informer does not give a f**k about his attire…  what’s the saying – you cannot polish a turd?

GRANT BODY-P!!

I’m playing – I like the Ryback… always have from the jump. I still believe he can make it back to main event status… just like I do with Wade Barrett.

See what I mean? You cannot polish a turd! Ryback cannot manage the Wyatt bwoy dem… now they gonna harvest him… unless Big Show & Kane combine their force!

OH MY DAYS BIG E JUST KILLED IT! The New Day, working on the tables… Big E… singing like it’s the slavery days! Like it’s 1555!!!! Then Renee Young just had to show up showing legs and sh!t asking if they found a 4th partner… OHHHHHHH! She is sexy as f**k and she knows it!

It’s a shame The New Day are not continuing the #SaveTheTables campaign…

Social Outcasts Vs Titus…. ok let’s switch to babestation let’s see who’s on to entertain me…I am him

You guys like Hannah Martin? She aiiiight…. she’s not quite ‘Charmaine Sinclair’ for me though… I like older women…

Dayuuuum Ambrose is going in!!! Calling him SAWFT???? Saying his F5 was ‘nothing?’ good lord! This reminds me of Jeff Hardy and The Undertaker in a way… Jeff didn’t stop at The Undertaker until Big Evil had to respect him!

It’s like Ambrose put a red ring over his own head and now it’s the Rage of Lesnar on some God Of War sh!t!

Reigns music hits! Reigns is just sauntering… Ambrose recovers enough to punch Lesnar right in ‘Minnesota’! Oh man…

Why is Ambrose f**k!n with someone who broke the streak??? Who destroyed John Cena to the point Cena cannot main event ever again?

By the way – who was it who said Bertie was injured? Aaah never mind F**k all that – Shout out to the Wrestling Summit – they have something important they need to say…

Love the Lucha Dragon, Love Bertie & Rusev… but this has come to my attention…

I haven’t done a wrestling video blog in months, but I can see myself doing one of these when it’s Undertaker’s time…

Holy f**k – SASHA BANKS! Those hot pants, knee high boots, she might have beaten Bayley at Mortal Kombat but I’d love for her to try and ‘beat’ me!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh man… the match at Fast Lane gonna break my heart… Sasha & Becky Vs Naomi & Tamina… Sorry Sash but Naomi is the love of my wrestling life… whoever loses – I WIN…

OH NO! The New Day got Mark Henry to join them??? Er.. It’s gonna be curtains for the Dudleys and Usos now!

For real? What started as a ‘botch’ from Lillian Garcia, now they are riding with it? I guess the Uso Brudda ARE grammy award winners!

Oh dear! Bossing Mark Henry about is something you don’t do! Mark Henry’s like – F**K IT! ME GONE! New Day goose cook!

WHOA!!! Dudley Boyz turned EVIL!!!! They just put the Uso Brudda through a table!!! Bu-bu-bu-BUT!!!!!

This is it people…. AHH MAN, HOW DO WE SAY GOODBYE… IT’S ALWAYS THE GOOD ONES THAT HAVE TO…

He’s holding back the tears here…just let it out Danny it’s ok… I cry, you cry, we cry, together… shout out to Lil Mo and Ja Rule…

Ok he cut his hair for the purpose of a cancer fund… so respect is due there… it wasn’t for you Vincent Kennedy!

DYAM DUTTY!!! Even in sadness Danny got jokes!!! Everybody with the Yes chant… Danny says – ‘that’s what Brie says all the time!’

Danny gives shout outs to Kane, William Regal, and especially Connor The Crusher. Where is he when we need him? He’s the only guy who can beat TRIPLE TEEF!

That’s it. Daniel Bryan’s wrestling career is over. That means NO wrestling anywhere else, it’s not a work, none of that sh!t. TAKE A BOW DANIEL BRYAN. WE ARE GRATEFUL.

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1179, December 28, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Rock WM32 Instagram

AAAAAAAH SH!T!!! WWE playing the hand they dealt! They gonna fill that muthaf***a – I PROMISE YOU! The question remains – Will he fight?! Well if he announces this – surely it’s to fight right? Or is it trick knowledge to fill the WrestleMania seats in a business stunt?

RAW #1179! LETS GET THAT 2016 FLOW! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZAAAH SH!T!!! VINCENT KENNEDY IN THE BUILDING!!! And my stream is f**k!n about!!! F****K!

ROMAN REIGNS IN THE BUILDING! Oh no… you don’t suppose Vincent Kennedy is gonna fire him? Nah he wants Roman to suffer… just like Austin suffered, like The Rock, Undertaker, HBK…Triple…

Nobody embarasses a McMahon!!! AAAH SH!T – Roman you will pay for this!!! The crowd are dropping the WHAT chant on Vincent Kennedy! I’m surprised he hasn’t said – SHUT UP WHILE I’M TALKING! And he still claims he is a certified billionaire! This segment is great! Crowd with the YES Chant supporting Reigns! Yo this kid is over rude boy!

Crowd chanting Daniel Bryan & CM Punk… but I don’t know why… and Vincent Kennedy is like – SHUUUUUDDDDDUP!!!!!! LAWWWWWWWD!

Is Vincent Kennedy throwing racial slurs against the Samoans??? Hey Vince – Samoan lives matter!!! Look what happen – you assaulted a police officer! Everytime you say ‘I’m Vince McMahon damnit’ something bad happens to you!!!! Vincent Kennedy is arrested like a common criminal! Roman Reigns should have poured beer down the back of his neck! I liked how Reigns had the mic to the police while they were saying Vince had a right to an attorney!!! Reigns smiling and sh!t!!! HAHAHAHA!!! Thy should have arrested Stephanie too – well I would have arrested Stephanie!!! Just for wearing those sexy @$$ knee high boots… SEXY B!TCH!!!

Stephanie in my thronePhoto courtesy of PG Kills WWE FB group

You mean to tell me I blinked and I missed Neville beat Kevin Owens??? You don’t do that!!! Now Neville is getting BUSS ARSE! Ok guys! two things you DON’T DO – tweet Owens in a negative, and counter his Pop-up powerbomb into a pin!!! If you do – RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!

Holy sh!t! the referees were carrying Neville up the ramp, then Owens ran out – what a dutty clothesline – BLAOW! A move JBL would be proud of! But then Ambrose comes out!!!! Fist and fire all over Owens! Yes Ambrose! Get that fat f**k!

GRANT BODY -P!

John Cena fights Bertie in the Raw Main Event – will he win back the US championship? If he does, the haters be like – “Del Rio got buried – Cena’s making the League of Nations look…” I got an idea – you haters SHUT THE F**K UP! No new years resolutions from the Infamous Informer – I will continue to put the haters in their place!!!

Team BAD I love you but you can’t diss Brooklyn??? You three are lucky Ol’ Dirty Bastard and Sean Price are not here – they would tell you to Shut the f**k up and suck their d!ck with barbecue sauce – P!!!!

Jay-Z & Biggie Smalls – Sasha drop your draws!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

 

Becky – it’s not looking good for you girl – Sasha gonna mash you up – WWE2K16 GRANT BODY -P!Saying that these two always put on a fantasic contest…

Becky Lynch – High risk manuever coming up – splashes the whole of Tean BAD! She gonna pay for that I will assure you!

But Sasha is dominating Becky in this match! And she hollered – UNITY! with her Team BAD girls!

Aaaah sh!t! Becky hung up on the apron, Sasha bounces off the ropes, comes back makes a suicide dive – missed Becky – hit her two Set It Off sistas!

Good counter tchnique sequence in the closing moments of that match but Sasha with a roll up and pull the tights for the win! Yes people! We gonna see Sasha beat up Becky Lynch every week until big big WrestleMania… the pay off will be great folks! LET THE STORYLINE PLAY OUT!

HAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! They just showed a mugshot of Vincent Kennedy!!!! as soon as the STC boys get that shot – it will be here!

The New Day are right – you jabronies didn’t vote for them for tag team of the year – so they ain’t singing for your dumb @$$!

AAAH SH!T – HERE IT IS!!!! I can see the IWC using this for memes such as ‘arrested for not pushing Cesaro’, ‘bad booking’… oh no the possibilities are endless!

VKM Mugshot.jpg

Xavier Wuss! That should be his new name! Sin Cara was right to jump in when The New Day were teefin! But get the joke! Xavier take off shirt and was then like – you know what? Payback is a BIIIIIIIIIG E! Oh dear Sin Cara you are in trouble now!

First Kevin Owens, Now the New Day are telling Mike Cole how to call the match! And everytime Sin Cara gets brukk up by Big E, that trombone will play!

Oh dear… seems like Big E mashed up Sin Cara’s shoulder! Did you IWC trainspotters see the ref throw up the ‘X’ sign? You like to see that sh!t don’t you?! all those minor details! (f**kouttahere…)

Damn Sin Cara is determined he gonna finish this muthaf***a!

Well yeah – Big E finished it for you… spectacular moves aside – the Big Ending put you down son….

While The Miz does his Year in Review, It gives me the chance to plug the upcoming STC From the UK best of 2015 show… Hit the BDSIR NETWORK logo at the bottom of this blog and it will take you right there…

Yeah – no one wants to hear The Miz and his battyman self… not even the Ryback who says 2016 gonna be his year! You are the big guy, and Goldust likes big guys!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

Talking of battyman… Zack Ryder is here! He claims 2016 gonna be his year too! Well The Grant says Zack Ryder is right – it will be his year when he finally gets FUTURE ENDEAVOURED!

GRANT BODY-P!

So what’s up R-Truth? He says vote for him for Superstar of the year! Ok Truth, I got you for 2016! But what about Heath Slater?? Or even The Big Show??? What is this – the future endeavoured segement?

The Big Show! Punched Slater through schoolbuses! Beat down Goldust and The Miz! R-Truth tries to knock himself out but it doesn’t work! CHOKESLAAAAAM! BLAOW! Ryback tries to test him… but he gets dashed out by Show! Crowd want him to retire! But Big Show is like F**K YOU! I’m gonna enter the Rumble at #1, and win that muthaf***a and go to big BIG WrestleMania!!! Oh ny god no – that must be prevented! In the words of he who WILL be at WrestleMania, if the Big Show is gonna headline Wrestlemania, then WrestleMania is gonna absolutely SUCK!

Crowd chanmting Big…Show Sucks ‘New Day Style’!!! And New Day didn’t win the best tag team award… sorry kids you made a boo-boo there!

Good luck to the Uso Brudda and Ambrose… they face The League of Nations… they mashed them up last week…

Has Sheamus joined the Vincent Kennedy kiss my arse club? I mean I’m a fan of the 70 year old, but damn Sheamus!!!

Crowd chanting – We Want Lana! Wise strategy by Rusev to keep lana out of harms way… face it fans – you want Lana but Lana don’t want you!

Oh man the League of Nations dedicated the match to Vincent Kennedy! Uh-Oh – they best win this contest! If they don’t – bwoyyyyyyy!!!!

…and the League of Nations fulfilled their dedication to McMahon! That ain’t the issue – Kevin Owens straight up attacked Ambrose!!! Damn! Y’all should have voted for Owens last week! This is on your head fans… NOT MINE!

Kevin Owens – Powerbomb through the table – BLAOW!!!! Ambrose – him dead now!

Replaying the opening segment… did Stephanie just say that was police brutality???? Clearly Stephanie didn’t see what happened to Eric Garner! Vince could breathe perfectly!

John Cena has arrived! The 15x Champ is here! Come on Bertie, get out here so you can get Cenalised! defend the symbol of excellence!

But I might side with Bertie here… I mean, he says the people don’t deserve a US Championship Match… They chanted CM Princess Peach B!tch earlier… sh!t I would have said that in my promo! Sheeeeet – shoot on em!!!!

LAWWWD HAVE MERCY! Cena mentioned the Notorious B.I.G. and Jay-Z! Er… Bertie – I think you should put the title on the line!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

NOW BERTIE HAS PUT THE TITLE ON THE LINE!!!! HERE WE GO!!!

Jay-Z Biggie Smalls Bertie sh!t your draws! Cena going out for all! AND YOU DON’T STOP!

Before the battle commences… Shout out to Lemmy from Motorhead… I mean, this is RePPiN4U: Represent Real Hip Hop but I did like the tunes he made for Triple and Evolution… and that other tune – The Ace of Spades. Lemmy deserves his props. He gonna find himself in the HOF watch…. #LiveOnLiveLong

Damn Bertie is kicking down Cena all over that ring! Not looking good for the kids favourite!

Uh-oh!!! The ref knocked out, Cena hit the STF super move, now The League of Nations have come out to teef… and just for the record… Vincent Kennedy got bailed out… is he on his way back to the arena?

All that teefing! And Cena still kicking out at 2! Yes IWC smoke that sh!t and get high on it!

Cena had the match won, but the League of Nations are making sure Bertie doesn’t get Cenalised!

But the Usos! Mash up and all jumping in the fight! Just waiting for Roman to come down the stairs!

F**k the stairs! He hit the spear on Rusev! He’s beating on Sheamus!

OH NO! VINCENT KENNEDY IS HERE! Just in time! Oh sh!t!!!

Next week, Roman must defend his World Wrestling Federation Championship against Sheamus!!! Vincent Kennedy is gonna be the guest referee! If I was Roman, I’d study what Austin did when he was in that situation!

HAPPY NEW YEAR MUTHAF***AZ!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Monday Night Raw #1114: September 29, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

 

WELCOME EVERYONE TO WWE RAW: JUDGMENT DAY!!!! We are live from a sold out Chicago crowd! And they are all pumped up and ready, chanting for the guy I like to call Philippa Brukk!!! Infamous Informer here on commentary taking you through the next 3 hours and 15 minutes of wrestling action!

GRYM REAPER CALLING – JUDGMENT DAY!!! RAW #1114! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

SHOUT OUT TO STC MEMBER DARREN BRUNTON! IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK! SHOW SOME ADMIRATION & RESPECT!

And they’ve started! Oh snap! Stephanie is putting the QUITTERS on blast!!! See how she switches it up to Dean Ambrose though!!!! HA! HA!

May Paul Heyman interject??? Will he mention Phillipa’s name blatantly?!!! Nope he’s gonna talk about BRRROCCK LESSSNAR!

Well Seth Rollins is right…. no one wants to see Cena win the title, but by claiming that Brock Lesnar is the ‘BEST’, the crowd took that as an insult to Philipa…

So Seth is like, Ambrose, give back the briefcase with my cheque in there… Ambrose appears on-screen… he’s like – if yuh tink say your name bad man, come fe it nuh? And according to you IWC b!tches, John Cena just had to steal the limelight from Ambrose by attacking Rollins… I dun explained to you how Cena is in this storyline… y’all just hating… so The Grant Says – SHUT THE F**K UP!

HA! HA! Jamie Noble gives me joke! He wants  some sledge hammers to aid in retrieving the briefcase… you know NO-ONE wields that thing except for Triple TEEF!!!!

I’m glad Ziggler has killed that noise he was going on with R-Truth… Cesaro you are a don, I hope you defeat The Miz & Ziggler in this Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental Championship… babestation ain’t saying nuthin either… I guess it’s a quick game of Tekken!

Side note – I’m glad that this will be the last episode of Raw I’ll be watching via stream… this Wednesday – let’s get that Network! HEY! It better not be no £9.99! charge us the same you charge the states! No funny business knowing this dyam country!

In fact f**k Tekken – let’s post this pic of Stephanie with her fine self… just for no reason!

Steph Raw Chicago

Actually this wrestling contest is not bad! Plenty pinning predicaments! Great counter techniques! But damnit, Cesaro hit the Sho-ryu-ken on The Miz, Ziggler kicks down Cesaro and takes advantage of the pin and defends his title…

So who are these guys? Jamie Noble & his bredrin? Are they the new Patterson & Brisco??? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

It’s okay people, my girl Sophia Lares is back on babestation… she’s on standby for when RAW comes with some stupidness…

I’m sick of stupid muthaf***az running up my inbox while RAW is on… what the f**k do they want at this time of night? Worse than that – I get someone running up my inbox telling me to ‘like’ his profile picture… I ain’t no battyman – get the f**k outta here with that sh!t!

WTF was that all about with The Wyatt Family? Most notably Luke Harper? What is this – a singles career launch??? Answers on a postcard please – Tweet me @MZATheInfamous, or hit us up at our FB group –http://www.facebook.com/groups/smacktalkcentre – Request To Join – Don’t Be a Weirdo!

Jesus have mercy LAYLA!!!! My god you look so f**kable! What’s this I hear – you have a new boyfriend???? I’m gonnaGRANT & LAYLA WWE2K15 find him… and SKIN HIM ALIVE!

Yo Jerry Lawler you still got it for lyrics! ‘Love is Grand, Divorce is 100Grand!’ I ought to remember that!

OH SNAP!!! Rosa’s extensions fell out her headtop!!! She might be the star of Total Divas, but this is RAW – where Layla is my star!!

Is it me, or does Dean Ambrose entrance music sound like that Puff Daddy tune??? Me cyan’t remember the name of it… I think it was for some film or something…

Oh snap! Ambrose is having a Chicago clearance sale??? He can’t do that surely?

WOW!! the crowd are chanting for someone other than Philipa Brukk!!!

Come on Patterson & Brisco!!! Do your job and get the briefcase!!!

Oh hang on… reinforcements!!! Looks like Ambrose wants no problems with these guys he calls ‘rosebuds’…. he’s going back up the stairs Shield style… he’s like – Seth Rollins – take your briefcase…what I wanna know is – why did Seth open that thing???? OH SNAP – what is that slimy sh!t coming out that messed up Rollins good suit??? He’s lucky it’s that and not what happened to The McMahons & the Spirit Squad back in 2006!

Even Randall & Glenn are laughing about it!!!! OH SH!T!!

First Swagger, now you wanna f**k with Mark Henry, Bo Dallas??? You don’t want to do that sir!!! Say what – Close the Hall Of Pain????? That’s only gonna keep the Hall Of Pain open BIG TIME!

Say what? Bo Dallas defeated Mark Henry???? What in the flying f**k???!!!!!

Shocked Undertaker 21-1 face2THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU DO HENRY???!!!! 

Suddenly Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak is irrelevant… Mark Henry lost to Bo muthaf***!n Dallas???? Oh HELL TO DA NAW!!!

That’s more like it!!!! Henry just f**ked up Bo Dallas backstage!!! Now THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!

Oh I get it…. will this Bella feud end in an I Quit match??? Hmmm….. I know y’all not interested… now putting Cameron & Eva Marie up against Brie Bella… is it REALLY a handicap match? If Tamina and Alicia Fox came out then I’d say yeah for sure…

Now look what you Bellas have done! Got the crowd chanting for JBL, Jerry Lawler & Michael Cole! Well it’s better than Philipa…. you know what? I think the crowd are finally come to terms with the truth… Note – AJ Lee hasn’t come out yet… was it a move by WWE for AJ Lee NOT to appear on Raw??? Or was it AJ Lee that thought – f**k that – I’m not about to bust my @$$ (Literally) out there only for the crowd to chant for a man who crosses his legs and whines like a b!tch… oh wait…. that’s my man…

GRANT BODY – P!!!

So hold on… Adam Rose & the Bunny are on commentary? And we got Slater, Gator and mini gator (Hornswoggle)? The Bunny actually has a WWE profile??? Ok this is the part where I watch babestation… F**K that – Chant Philipa’s name! You have my permission!

You gotta problem with Hip Hop JBL???? You gotta problem with me!!! Don’t let me come down there and Timberland Boot Stomp your @$$!

People are loving the Big Show! You know why? Because on Smackdown, Big Show punched Rusev through school buses! PPPPPPPP!!!! I’ve missed that super-move!

Hold up – Rusev can speak English??? Since when???!!!! SHUT UP!!!!

Rusev don’t want none of Big Show….after all that talk of breaking every bone in his body??? Rusev you got no barz!!!

OH NO! Big Show just pulled down the Russian flag! He can’t do that???? Big Show gonna be in trouble for sure! (yes I know Jericho, you disrespected the Brazilian flag and you got in trouble…)

NO Cena you didn’t just say that!!!! You can’t say Chicago is your type of town??!!!! That must sting!!!! I love the darts being thrown by the WWE superstars!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

But I gotta agree with Ambrose… the beef started with him & Rollins… it’s not your fight really… I mean it is to an extent but it’s so personal with Ambrose… so stop stealing Ambrose’s Yam & dumpling and get your own sh!t… you love your fruity pebbles don’t you? And by the way… your T-shirt is WACK! I don’t care if it’s promoting Cancer research or whatever!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OH SNAP!!! AJ LEE IS HERE!!!! Is she gonna cut a promo??? Nope, she’s gonna fight! Better get my ear plugs…

Well Paige don’t want none of AJ Lee… so she sent Alicia Fox after her! er AJ… if I was you I would lose this fight…. and she has!!! Alicia hasn’t gotta go crazy all over Chicago!

Oh Lawwwd they beat down AJ Lee in Chicago… shot after shot after shot at Philipa… this is WWE firing shots at dude like his name is Scarface when he took 50 licks!

Shock! Horror! Now we gotta wait til NOVEMBER 1, for the WWE Network! Blodclart!!!! David Cameron what the f**k did you do??? I mean, WWE2K15 comes out at the same time! I’m going to see Common Live on London at that time! I don’t think it’s gonna work out….

Shout out to Hulk Hogan and all the ladies in the world that are putting boots2breastcancer…Show the world that you are proud of your t!++!£$! Don’t let the evil cancer take away your t!++!£$! We love your t!++!£$, and so should you!

It’s kinda funny how Glenn complains about Seth starting fires and he has to put em out… you see? My Hero Kane STARTS FIRES!!! I HATE GLENN DAMNIT!!!

I like Dean Ambrose’s hoodie… got that Anarky feel to it…. then you got the total opposite, Mr Fruity Pebbles himself…. considering it’s breast cancer awareness month, in the case of Cena, THE MILK’S GONE BAD!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Well well, Seth Rollins shut down another main event…. oh f**k!nhell look at Cena and Ambrose fighting over who should f**k up Rollins…see that’s what happens when you on that bullsh!t – RKO, CHOKESLAM, THEN A CURB STOMP – BLAOW!!!! Both Cena & Ambrose laid out, crowd chanting ‘Thank you Rollins’, and NO returning star… no Batista, no Bryan, no Philipa Brukk…. NOBODY… y’all been reading them muthaf***!n dirt sheets too much, and now y’all not smiling… YES, NOBODY’S SMILING… except ME!!! WHOEVER LOSES, I WIN BIATCH!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

BDSIR Networkwww.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1108: August 18, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!!!! DOLPH ZIGGLER: NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION, INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!

PAIGE, NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION, DIVAS CHAMPION!

BRRROCCK LESSNAR, DESTROYED JOHN CENA WITH 16 GERMAN SUPLEXES, TAKES AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT FROM JOHN CENA, RISE UP LIKE THE UNDERTAKER, ROLLS EYES IN THE BACK OF HIS HEAD, COMES BACK WITH 2 F5s… NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION, UNDISPUTED CHAMPION!

BUT THE STAR WAS TRIPLE TEEF & NIKKI BELLA! BRIE, FIGHTING FOR HERSELF, DANNY BRYAN, THE BIG SHOW, HER OWN SISTER, THE WWE UNIVERSE, THEN SUDDENLY – BLAOW!!!! NIKKI TURNED ON HER TWIN SISTER, STEPHANIE WITH HER SEXY @$$ – PEDIGREE TO BRIE BELLA – BLAOW!!!

IF YOU THOUGHT THAT SUMMERSLAM WAS WACK, STOP READING THIS RAW BLOG NOW. I DON’T WANT INTERNET WRESTLING B!TCHES LIKE YOU READING MY SH!T!

I AM THE INFAMOUS INFORMER, WOLVERHAMPTON’S LAST OUTLAW, THE MAN IN THE PURPLE SUIT – KAZUYA GRANTSHIMA, THROWING GUT PUNCHES TO INTERNET WRESTLING DUMB MUTHAF***AZ! AND THIS IS THE RAW REVIEW BLOG! EPISODE #1108 – HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZShout out to The Jobber Blogger for putting me on to theSteelCage.com… All being well they will hear of the foul-mouthed nemesis of the IWC!

OH SNAP!!!! DANNY BRYAN’S MUSIC HIT! No way! You don’t think…But out came Stephanie! Sporting her new blouse! STEPH! STEPH! STEPH! Look at her bouncing around the ring like Danny would, but her t!tt!£$ bouncing around?? BEAUTIFUL!!! Best opening segment in along while! Steph we love you!!!!

How can you make this segment better? Bring out who is seemingly apart of the authority… Nikki Bella! Two women with fake t!tt!£$!!! It doesn’t matter… Nikki & Steph make me wanna have four hands! So I can give….4 thumbs up!!!!!

LAWD HAVE MERCY! Nikki talking trash about her flesh and blood!!!! Nikki & Steph chatting like they’re best friends! TwoSexy Steph 2 weeks ago Steph pedigreed Nikki’s @$$ into the canvas! Brie having none of this and was ready to forgive but – Dayum!!! Nikki slapping her sister in the face – WHAAAAM! Am I heartbroken? Hell nah! When Cameron & Naomi split, that hurt me…

By the way remind me to make adjustments on WWE2K14…

So w’happen, the German announce team gonna be on Raw every week??? Zeb Colter ain’t gonna like that sh!t! They won the world cup – they can do anything they want! Now shuddup!

Remember when The Big Show & Mark Henry used to be the deadliest of enemies? They broke the ring and sh!t! Now they are a team….that’s worries for the tag team division!

That means you Wyatt Fam! Sean Price Punch followed by the World’s Strongest Slam to Erick Rowan – BLAOW!!!! Right you IWC b!tches go ahead and say Show & Henry should put over the new talent – not ‘bury’ them as you call it – SHUT THE F**K UP! What’s the point in Show & Henry teaming up only to lose??? Don’t start me jabronies….

Miz what do you look like with that Kylie Minogue looking robe? Looking like a battyman and sh!t? You’re invoking your rematch clause? Good luck to you… I’m not watching these two fight again… I know y’all love him and y’all up his @$$… STC’s Andrew Theaker says he thinks that Ziggler should be the one to defeat Brock Lesnar for the title somewhere down the line… The Grant Says – that sh!t happens – that’s me done with WWE!!! (Yeah right Grant…!!!)

…and the rivalry continues! Seth Rollins been interviewed by Renee Young, Seth probably got a hard on looking at Renee only to get a cold ice shower by Dean Ambrose!!!

“Hey, it’s for charity!!!” That could be the lyric of the week!!!! YES AMBROSE!!! How the f**k can Seth fight Ambrose after that? DISRESPECT!!!!

I’m starting to wonder – does Paige have a crush on AJ???? She’s dedicated her match against Natalya, did she get ‘wet’ when she was in a mounted position? I mean I don’t blame her nah-mean?

10629730_10100191205993979_3346841656474374138_n

Oh no!!!! AJ skipping around the ring costed Paige the match! She can’t do that! Does that mean Natalya can fight for the title? By the way Natalya – loving the attire! Dayuuum girl you got thighs!!!! Come here!!!

Uh-oh!!!! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEF!!!! What does he want!!!! Oh hang on, Stephanie’s out again! Excuse me while I get the cocoa butter…

Stephanie looks like she’s wearing one of those skimpy nightgowns!!!! Dammit I got a song for Stephanie, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart…

Look, look, when your phone rings and his name shows
Baby you supposed to be excited to say “hello”
So if your phone rings and your mood drops
Then all that means is you should make a move ma

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! THIS IS BRILLIANT! They presented the new championship belt to BRRRROOOCCCK LESSSNAAAR! Triple Teef, Brock, Paul Heyman & Stephanie posing proudly with the belt! Last year Triple & Brock were trying to destroy each other! Brock destroyed Triple’s office!

The crowd chanting Lesnar! And Heyman giving another epic promo! Lesnar loves it when Heyman pronounces his name! SO DO I!!!!

WHOA! John Cena earned Heyman’s respect and admiration! He would have taken on Cena as a Paul Heyman guy! DROP THE BOMB ON EM!

HOLY SH!T! WORD LIFE! THIS IS BASIC BROCKONOMICS! EAT! SLEEP! SUPLEX! REPEAT!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! EAT! SLEEP! F5! REPEAT! He didn’t have to send for the Kimura Lock!

Straight up & down I ain’t watching this sh!t….put back on AJ Lee & Paige! Better than that – put on Stephanie again! In fact let’s get a picture of Stephanie’s sexy @$$!

Stephanie Summerslam

I was hoping for a wardrobe malfunction but…. such is life!

Well hopefully that concludes the bullsh!t @$$ Miz/Ziggler feud, Miz lost again, time for Ziggler to keep it moving!

F**k me Renée Young… I mean I say this every week… YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’D DO TO YOU!

Swagger coming out on his own… JAY-BEE asking – where’s Zeb? WHO GIVES A F**K?! He deserved that kick in his head! Don’t feel sorry for that tedious old nearly dead! He disrespected my people. Big E Langston waved the flag and you muthaf***az booed him. You boo your own president but you put your hand on…. you know what…. I’m gonna calm down… just know that Karma is a B!TCH!

Come on Cesaro! Brukk up that fool! Go Tekken on his b!tch @$$! He let America down! F**K WACK SWAGGER! Nas is my hero! America is not what you think it is!

THAT’S IT JAY-BEE CUSS DOWN WACK SWAGGER! HE LET THE 50 STARS AND THE 13 BARS DOWN!!!! OLD GLORY IS ASHAMED! When The Undertaker represented America against Test at Summerslam 2002 – HE BRUKK UP HIS CLART!

YES CESARO! HE BRUKK HIM UP! Guess who comes out at the right time! Bo Dallas is here! He is an inspiration to us all!

Speak Bo!!!! Tell him he can get his confidence back if he BO-LIEVES!!!!

6-man tag team action! Randall & Rybaxel vs Sheamus, RVD & Roman Reigns! Yo why you booing Roman Reigns for?? What are you dumb or something? There’s a penalty for success? Why – because he doesn’t sit down and cross his legs like a little boy? He doesn’t read his muthaf**! comic books? No – I get it – Roman Reigns doesn’t wear pink brief… he doesn’t shake his @$$… you hate Roman because the women love him… You see – the more you boo men like Reigns… the more I detest Dolph Ziggler! Skills aside – my spirit cannot take to him!

I wonder why the crowd are starting to chant for Ryback these days???? Do you have any idea? Answers on a postc – oh I heard the commentators say they are in Ryback’s home town!!!!

Oh no! Ryback’s team lose again!!!! Why doesn’t Ryback brukk up Curtis Axel…. just for his hometown!QUESTION

QUESTION – What’s the difference between a No Holds Barred Match, a No Disqualification Match and a Falls Count Anywhere match? They are all the muthaf***!n same apart from the falls count anywhere! If the NO DQ match or the No Holds Barred match gets picked on the WWE App, you the WWE Universe are f**k!mg dumb fools, OK!!!!

…and just for the record, a ‘Street Fight’ is the same sh!t too! And ‘Extreme Rules’ match is the same sh!t! Just call it a muthaf***!n Hardcore match!

I can’t lie to ya, I am a crazy mofo… I cuss The Miz & Dolph Ziggler for acting like a faggot but when it comes to Goldust I just love the character! Goldust & Stardust Vs The Usos – sure to be a great contest – if Dust2Dust can get a win – we are in for a series of classic contests!

Who’s that now running up my fb inbox??? They always do it while I’m watching Raw or a PPV! So rude!GRANT & LAYLA WWE2K15

It’s ok, it’s STC member & RePPiN4U’s own James Henson…. he’s a wrestling fan like me, but he should know that when I’m watching Raw and entertaining y’all he should not holla!!! I don’t mind if it’s during a Ziggler match though… I’m jussayin!

OH SNAP! Like I said! Dust2Dust just beat the Usos! GET READY FOR THE NEXT CLASSIC!

HERE COMES MY NEWEST HERO!!!! Rusev with my sexy body gyal Lana! Rusev – kicked Zeb Colter in his head! And play the Russian anthem in celebration! SALUTE THIS MAN! Big up Vladimir Putin! And Zangief!!!!

OH SNAP!!! MARK HENRY NEXT TO TEST HIM???? HERE WE GO!!! THIS IS WHAT I CAME TO SEE!

I’ve waited a long time for this!!!!! Mark Henry shut down Rusev! and sent him for the Hall Of Pain! Jay-Bee is proud of him!!!! What’s wrong Lana? why do you look like that??? Is it dawning on you, that you heard the legend of the brothers’ manhood??? Don’t get me wrong – Rusev is my hero, but Mark Henry mayyyyyyn!!!!!! HE’S THE DON!!!! World’s Strongest Slam – then a World’s Strongest Splash to Rusev – BLAOW!!!! THAT’S WHAT HE DO!!!!

So there is the benefit of intellect within you WWE Universe! Falls Count Anywhere between Ambrose & Rollins! Triple says it is blood on our hands, well the GRANT SAYS – We don’t give a f**k!!!! We love Rollins! We love Ambrose! We don’t care who gets brukk up!

I wonder if Dean Ambrose could take this match near the river, take Rollins briefcase, and throw that sumovab!tch in that muthaf***a?!!! I mean, it’s not like Rollins needs it.. Brock Lesnar is the Undisputed World Wrestling Federation Champion!

There’s a reason they call Ambrose the Lunatic Fringe – look how much muthaf***!n chairs he threw in the ring! There must be about 16 of those muthaf***az! Ambrose sets up for the superplex – reversed – power bomb into the chairs – BLAOW!!!

Wait a minute – how come my hero Kane with the school trousers is finding himself out here? TRYING TO TEEF!!! Announce table set up, Ambrose sets up Rollins for the Dirty Deeds super move – but Kane – with a chokeslam to Ambrose on the table that didn’t break! It looks reinforced actually!

But Rollins and Kane were not done! Kane throws away the time keeper’s table, exposing a set of cinder blocks! holds Ambrose’s head down, Rollins with the curb stomp to the head top on the cinder blocks – BLAOW!!! OH LAWWWD they had to stop the match…. I mean I thought Kane was gonna set up Ambrose for the tombstone on the blocks! But yes that would have happened if my hero Kane had his mask on…

Damnit why does the UK have to be last to get the rarse network? I get it, because of David Cameron… He’s responsible! I wished Kane set up the cinder blocks and Seth Rollins curb stomped Cameron’s b!tch @$$ through that muthaf***a!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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www.cageamateursuk.com

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Monday Night Raw #1102: July 7, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

Before this blog jumps off I wanna give a big, BIG!!! SMACK TALK CENTRE shout out to member Lee Steadx whose wife has given birth to a beautiful baby boy this week! BIG RESPECTS TO THAT MAN!

It’s the gift and the curse of my life, I know I will be a father of none, unless Layla wants to finish her wrestling career and settle down with the god….

GRANT BODY – P!!!

YO! I got my walkers crisps, my homewheat (Y’all call it chocolate digestives but I’m old school!) my supermalt, I got strawberry ice cream for later, jaffa cakes… I’m ready for this sh!t, are you??? RAW #1102! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZWord on the street is that Bret the Hitman Hart is in the hiz-house! Let’s hope this weeks Raw isn’t a 4/10! OK bad joke – the Infamous Informer can come better than that!

So w’happen? Triple Teef and Stephanie McTeef are on vacation??? No one to run the show??? No wonder Raw didn’t start with them two like it does always! Oh my days it’s gonna be anarchy up in here tonight!!!!

WROOOOOOOOOY!!!! Just like I said, not even 5 minutes in, Roman Reigns calls my hero Kane – Randall’s b!tch?? WAR UP INNA DE DANCE!!!

Officials trying to break it up, referees chokeslammed – BLAOW!!! Finlay is one of the officials now – did you know that??? Nah me neither – he got speared by Roman Reigns – BLAOW!

I’m not gonna talk about the Wyatt man dem Vs The Uso brudda unless something big happens… question – Raw this week is in Canada, why isn’t Jerry Lawler calling it ‘Bizarro Land’ like he used to?

One other thing – I hope 2K games put the Uso brudda in the new game as regular characters! Not no DLC sh!t!!! That goes for Cameron & Naomi, Paige, Curtis Axel (even though I’ll just brukk him up) that Bo Dallas kid, Rusev and especially that Lana… OH YEAHHHH!!!

Why are the Usos complaining about the legal man not being pinned??? You guys are more identical than the Bella Twins! I wouldn’t call the Bellas – twins no more!

Talking of Bella twins, they introduce Nikki but not Alicia Fox???? Alicia has been smashing it lately with her story-lines… RACIAL MAN RACIAL!

Both must fight with one arm tied behind their back… I’d tie both arms, bend em both over and twist their backs out!!!GRANT - BODY - P

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…and why should Alicia have her hands tied in this match??? her ancestors were caught up in metal chains in 1555 and…. you know what – I’m not getting into that!!! I see the science though… treat Nikki Bella like sh!t so that we feel sorry for her – WELL THE GRANT SAYS that is no longer our concern – she wants to be married to John Cena so bad – and Cena doesn’t lift one finger to help… you think I’d let my woman be f**ked around like that???? A man must protect his first lady… I think Roman Reigns is right along with the fans – Cena SUCKS!

GOD DAMN LANA… you wearing anything under that blouse????

No way – Rob Van Dam is the next victim to Rusev???? Come on RVD – use your martial arts techniques! Lead by example on The Raid!!! Those guys got skills!

OK Rusev Vs Swagger at Battleground???? BACKING RUSEV ALL THE WAY! I keeps it real – I’m not supporting Swagger and Colter just because they turned face… f**k that!

One thing I’ll give Colter credit for – and I don’t do that often – is not cross the borders to Canada! Ha – my woman from Canada will f**k them up!!! Let alone the Infamous Informer!

JAY-BEE – are you an exclusive member of the Triple TEEF kiss his @$$ club? Stop wishing them the best on their vacation! I ain’t saying sh!t – you know why? because I wanna f**k Stephanie as well! I’d show that gyal how to twerk it – twerk it! Give her some loving then send her back to her husband & kids!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Hold up – if Dean Ambrose pulls off a figure four leg lock on Randall, how does that pay homage to Bret Hart? I know it’s a submission move, but the Sharpshooter is Bret’s super move isn’t it???? JAY-BEE – GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

Oh snap! It just hit me why Triple & Steph are on ‘vacation’… they don’t wanna be in the same building as Bret!!! HA! HA!!!

Now look what you done Randall! exposing Ambrose’s bad shoulder, now he throws whole heap of chairs in the ring… oh lawd – somebody gonna get f**ked up tonight!!!

…but the chair dem nah help him???!!! RKO into the canvas – BLAOW!!!!

WTF??? Fandango announces he’s in the Battle Royal at Battleground, and he shakes his hips in front of three guys Cole, JAY-BEE and Lawler? GAY!!!!

WTF??? Michael Cole asks Fandango – who he likes better – Layla or Summer Rae, this was his answer – ‘Fandango likes Fandango’…. and with that, I’M DONE! Bertie Vs Ziggler? F**K THIS MATCH!!!!

What’s more, Fandango does his gay dancing and Ziggler is distracted??? Making Bertie win the match? THAT’S THE MAN YOU SUPPORT…. someone who is staring at Fandango dancing like a queer???? F**k out my face Ziggler fans!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I can’t stand all this faggotry nonsense – here’s a pic of Rosa Mendes… just for no reason… actually the reason is to forget all that stupidness that happened…

Rosa Mendes 2

Aaaah I feel so much better now…

BIG UP THE BEST THERE IS, BEST THERE WAS, BEST THERE EVER WILL BE BRET THE HITMAN HART!!!

OK Bret don’t get excited – you’re in Montreal, you got goosebumps and you are hinting at one more match?? Goldberg where you at????

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh lawwd -Damien Sandow is burying himself here, dressed up as Bret and running down Canada???? Maybe Bret DOES have one more match left in him! One punch in Sandow’s grill – BLAOW!!!! Sandow you’re my dude but you deserved that – word up!

Thank you Jerry Lawler! Sandow is a man who got skills – why the f**k has he gotta dress as all these different people and make a dyam arse of himself??? Sometimes it’s funny but sometimes I’m just sitting there like – (facepalm)…

If Sandow wanted to generate TRUE HEAT, all he had to do was dress up as Shawn Michaels… you know the fans in Montreal are still trapped in 1997???!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OK one-on-one action with The Miz Vs Chris Jericho…. just like Bret Hart said once, I know how this match is gonna go, exactly how it is predicted… the Wyatt man dem are gonna come and f**k up Jericho again!!!

Miz – word from the wise – don’t boast about being a movie star and keeping your face as your money-maker – don’t you think that would make guys in the locker room wanna f**k you up??? Like I don’t recall my STC ladies Dawn Bayley, Susan Brunton, Loz Blick, Ref Tonya Stevens, Ashley Vera, Beckii Tyson, Emma Edwards, Emily Brown, Rudie Rai Ryan talk about how good-looking and sexy you are Miz???? The Marine 4??? Hercules is coming out muthaf***a!!!!!

WHOA!!!! Did Jericho just counter Bray Wyatt and told him to shut the f**k up??? He can’t do that!!!! He’s ready to run up and beat him with the rocking chair he be sitting in, here comes the rest of the family! Er Jericho, why didn’t you take a steel chair with you???? and maybe your Fozzy guitar????

OK so maybe Paige hasn’t turned evil after all… seems like she gonna team with AJ against my favourite nubians the Funkadactyls….

No not the Canadian fans too? Don’t chant his name??? Oh it’s ok, they settled down…

Oh HELL NAW! Miss girl bye-bye is doing her nails and make up not tagging Naomi??? Now they fighting on some stupid sh!t…. dayuum…. I hope Naomi tears out that blonde head top of Cameron! It’s like one reps for Nicki Minaj and the other reps for Rapsody!

Remember last week Cesaro f**ked up Kofi Kingston??? If I was Kofi this week I’d be like – f**k a wrestling match – send for the kendo sticks, steel chairs, tables, the lot, set the sh!t’s on fire and bunn up Cesaro!

Kofi wins again, Cesaro was about to f**k him up again, but w’happen – Pastor Lang- er I mean Big E comes out of nowhere! Now all you gotta do Big E is round-up Mark Henry and Titus O Neill or R-Truth or Xavier Woods, get Ron Simmons as their manager and become Black Men United!!! You remember the tune! This should be the theme tune right here!

SHOUT OUT TO MIKE KNOXXX, SPOTFACE, & THE PERFECT PLEX TEAM!!!

This is interesting, this week on Smackdown, Roman Reigns takes on the evil Rusev and his sexy @$$ Lana???? Now I don’t watch Smackdown much… but I might just tune in for this one! Maybe Lana’s orifices may become moist!!!!

HA! HA! HA! HA! Bo Dallas defeats El Torito, does a victory lap, and knocks down El Torito in the process??!!! All you gotta do is BO-LIEVE MUTHAF***A!!!

Main event jump off – John Cena Vs Seth Rollins, I’ll tell you how it’s gonna go down… Seth will deliberately get disqualified, continue the assault, then try to cash in his cheque… then again – Dean Ambrose will run through and stop that muthaf***a!

Do not adjust your sets attitards, John Cena just did an electric chair move with one arm! PUT THAT IN THE GAME 2K!

So let me get this right so I can understand this: You chant ‘Cena Sucks’, then you chant ‘You sold out’ to Seth Rollins… so who do you support???

Well I forgot about the Kane part…. well no doubt Roman Reigns will be on his way now that Randall is out here teefing as well!

Irrelevant – Seth just clapped Roman and Cena in his head – he’s gonna cash in his cheque!!!

Dean Ambrose says NOT TONIGHT, NOT ANY NIGHT ROLLINS! Kane goes to chokeslam Cena – gets speared by Reigns – BLAOW!!!

You know what, I’d finish this blog but since WWE Network is free this week, I’m off to watch the Monday Night War… f**k y’all attitards!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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