Tag Archives: The Rock

Monday Night Raw #1273, October 23, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

IWC fools

It’s gonna hurt me to say this more than it will hurt the man in question… but Aydenn Wardle: Give me your wrestling card. You are not worthy of it. You said (on a J.A.M.M.S. Podcast I might add) that if Shinsuke Nakumura lost to Jinder Mahal at Hell In A Cell, you would hand it in and not watch AJ Styles Vs Shinsuke Nakumura if it happened at WrestleMania 34. But there you are STILL watching, and STILL complaining that while Finn Balor Vs AJ Styles was a great contest (which it was), you said the TLC match itself was garbage. So ok – Strowman & Kane go through announce tables, Kurt dons the Shield gear, The Shield get double chokeslammed through tables, Braun & Kane fight amongst each other, Kane chokeslams Braun off the stage, drops 20 chairs all over him, Braun comes back – pie faces his own team, the team rush him and throw him in the dumpster truck, Kane gets double speared through the barricade, Angle comes back – drops the olympic slam on Cesaro & Sheamus (prior to that he took most of the team to suplex city) then he and The Shield completely destroy The Miz for the win and YOU SAID IT WAS GARBAGE? YOUR CARD. GIVE IT TO ME!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1273! My apologies to my readers at Cage Amateurs UK: When Virgin Media pull the plug because I didn’t pay those bills, life offline is a bit lonely!

Steph Raw

 Now really and truly, I shouldn’t be watching live because I have a hospital appointment in the morning, (or rather by the time you read this I’ve already been to the hospital) but… Brock Lesnar gonna sign Jinder Mahal’s death warrant- er I mean answer the challenge for the Survivor Series!

But first – KUUUUUUURT!!! I was concerned about him at the PPV, but thank god he’s ok, he may have got put through a table by Strowman, but he’s still standing strong!

Raaaaar! It’s champion Vs champion at the Survivor Series! Plus 5 Vs 5 Tradtional Raw Vs Smackdown mens & womens matches!

Miz thinks Raw is his show? He got BUSS ARSE at the PPV! He’s more like Raw’s B!TCH!

Look at him complaining and sh!t… Kurt needs to tell him to shut the f**k up!

I know the Miz & the Bar was not gonna rush Kurt and brukk him up… thank god for the Shield! That would have been injustice right there!

Oh snap! 6 man jump off right now! The Bar/Miz face The Shield & AJ Styles! Good on this dude – he’s staying on Raw for the Monday too! Give this man MVP of the week please!

Ok guys – as much as I wanna hang around and watch RAW live, as stated above – I gotta fin my bed. I don’t wanna be walking like a zombie to the hospital tomorrow! Don’t worry – your boy is ok, just come off the medication and they are monitoring your favourite daywalker. (Very funny you think I was on medication because I don’t know my wrestling sh!t like you guys…go jerk off over Alexa Bliss…)

GRANT BODY-P!

Ok I’m back… the hospital could have called me to tell me the good news instead of me going clean up there only to be there for 5 minutes… let’s get on with this week’s World Wrestling Federation.

I love a good old ruckus match I do! Bodies everywhere! Camera can’t keep still! I love it! Finishing with a phenomenal forearm to Cesaro’s headcrown – BLOAW! All that technical sh!t is boring – GIVE ME RUCKUS! that’s what The Shield, the Miz, the bar and The Phenomenal One did!

OH NO! IT’S KAAAAAAAANE! Should be no problem for The Shield and AJ… right??????

Is it me or can I hear fans chanting for Roman? Er – dude is sick! Mash up with meningitis and sh!t… now you cheer for him… fickle… that’s why I can’t f**k with you wrestling fans sometimes! You’re worse than a b!tch on her period!

GRANT BODY-P!

Kane has decided to chill with us! I like how they treating his promo treatment – lighting all red, titan tron with flames and sh!t… that’s what I’m talking about!

He says he’s Raw’s original monster! I gotta agree with Kane I’m sorry! I mean yes, Strowman has pushed over ambulances, broken rings, walked out of a truck crash, nearly destroyed Brock Lesnar… but my hero Kane… he impregnated Lita, he tombstoned a priest, he electrocuted Shane’s balls, he buried his own brother alive… he’s been carried to the ring in chains once, and my personal favourite – he set people on fire for joke!

As much as I love Finn Balor, he has no chance against my hero Kane! I mean… he didn’t have to put the demon paint on against AJ Styles… but here, he’s just a man!

Finn Balor! Front drop kick to Kane to the turnbuckles! Set up for the Coup De Grace! But Kane sat right up! NO! Chokeslam off the top ropes! Balor tried to counter but the grip was too much! Chokeslam – BLOAW!

Not going for the cover! Grabs Balor by the neck again – another chokeslam – BLAOW!

NOT A THIRD!!! What did Balor do to deserve this!!! He’s a good man! CHOKESLAM – BLAOW! BACK BRUKK!!!

Emma has another chance to make Asuka see the lights for the first time in her WWE career! I’m telling you now – she needs Dana Brooke by her side again… I don’t know why they split them up in the first place…

Wait a second! Didn’t I watch Elias Samson Vs Jason Jordan already? I don’t need to see this sh!t again… hey WWE – if people missed it they can watch the PPV on the network!

Wait – I take that back – Jason Jordan coming with that ruthless aggression yo! Elias getting charged into the barricades! But Elias had to teef – he found a guitar and lick it over Jordan’s head – BLAOW!

Oh sorry guys – it was the shoulder of Jason Jordan… sorry if I got you excited for a hot minute…

GRANT BODY -P!

Drew Gulak – do not do speeches/pitches again – you sound like one of those idiots from The Apprentice!

Holy smokes Gran Metalik! He’s taken ‘walking the ropes’ to a new level hasn’t he! His athleticism is crazy!!!! He makes Super Crazy look Super Dull!

So Enzo’s crew are called ‘The Zo Train’? Sounds like a male version of the Ho train… oh wait – that IS what it is! I knew something was up with the way Enzo dressed…

GRANT BODY-P!

“The same someone, who barely survived Randy Orton, the same soemone who barely survived Shinsuke Nakumura…” Yes boys and girls, this fool wants to test BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAR! The same dude who took Cena to SUUUUUPLEXXXXX CITTTTTY! The same dude who…(deep breath) broke the Undertaker’s undefeated streak at WrestleMania, The same someone who has conquered Samoa Joe, Braun Strowman, and Goldberg… somebody order a straight jacket for Jinder Mahal NOW!

Look at Brock – he’s laughing! Pacing up and down like –  “a wha dis bwoy gwarn on wid eh?”

“When we think of WWE Champions, we think of Bruno Sammartino, Nagoh Kluh, Macho Man Randy Savage, Ric Flair, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, John Cena, and BRRRROOCCCK LESSSSNAR!!!!”

Er Heyman, what about Stone Cold Steve Austin? The Rock? The UNNNNDERRRTAYYYKERR? DISRESPECT!

I’ve come to the conclusion that Alexa Bliss is UGLY. YEAAAAH I SAID IT! I’m actually taking a good look at her – look at the amount of make up the b!tch got on! She that b!tch that when you put it in you think it’s the best sex ever, your eyes are watering, you are crying out like Lexington Steele, you reach the point of no return, buss your nut, go to sleep, wake up the next day to say good morning to her and JESUS CHRIST – she looks like Sister Abigail and sh!t!

church choir

080915, Atlanta, GA: Marcus Ross (cq) and the Beulahland Bible Church choir of Macon, Ga. perform in the “How Sweet The Sound” regional church choir competition at Philips Arena on September 15, 2008. “I felt like a star on stage,” Ross said.MIKKI K. HARRIS / mkharris@ajc.com

I will agree with the b!tch though, y’all wrestling fans is GAY. You chant ‘This is awesome’ when AJ Styles and Finn Balor stare each other in the face, but when Alexa and Mickie James sexy @$$ is on you sit there contemplating a toilet break…

Speaking of Mickie James – DAYYUUUUUUUUM! How did she get that in those jeans! Look at the high heels! Hold up – kick to the gut – tornado DDT in those heels! BLAOW! YES! Alexa Bliss deserved that sh!t!GRANT WWDJC2

Ok – Alicia Fox Vs Bayley vs Sasha – winner gets to be team captain for the women’s RAW team – Well The Grant Says – why is this even a question? Sasha is THE BOSS – she is a leader – not a follower! This match should not be taking place!

Actually I would love Alicia to be the captain – she is giving me joke ringing the bell like that! This ain’t Game of Thrones Alicia?!

OH SH!T!!! Alicia IS EL CAPITAIN!!! This is gonna be great! I LIKE THIS!

Hold up – Shane McMahon and the Smackdown brand? they think they are The Shield now coming down the stairs? They can’t be here???!!! What is this!

OH SNAP! UNDER SIEGE????!!! They brukk up the Titus Brand!

I can see Mr Strong Style there! He can take on the whole Raw Roster if he wanted to!

WROOOOOOY!!! THE LADIES ARE GOING AT IT! YES! PULL EACH OTHER’S WEAVE OUT!

Dean Ambrose said The Shield can take on the world – well how about half the Smackdown roster? Steel chairs in hand! Where’s Jim Ross when you need him?!

OH MY GOD THEY GOT KURT!!!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! HE’S INNOCENT!

HOLY SMOKES!!! You know Kurt ain’t gonna take this lying down! He’s gonna call his squad… and if he brings Kane and Strowman…. all I’m saying is – DON’T HURT MY NAOMI! OR ELSE!!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1172, November 9, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Seth Rollins mash up

It’s like skynet went online and half the wrestling world blew up, the other half are f**k!n hypocrites, hating on Seth Rollins one minute, now he’s injured, they throwing get well memes all over the shop. GETTHEF**KOUTTAHERE! I can’t stand those fickle wrestling fans who don’t keep it real…

GRANT BODY – P!

YO! WWE RAW INNA HENGLAN THIS WEEK! A tournament announced to decide the new World Wrestling Federation Champion, and it starts right here!

RAW #1172! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZ14,362 Fans in attendance! And that includes some of our very own Smack Talk Centre members! BIG UP!!! But don’t act silly! I will put you on blast!!!

Sh!t is funny because I’ve compared the Shield members to Austin (Ambrose), The Rock (Reigns), and Triple (Rollins). Dude is out up to 9 months at best. You know when he comes back it will be that ovation Triple had in 2002. Was it at MSG? I can’t remember… Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me @MZATheInfamous! Thank You For The Support!

I wonder what Roman Reigns gotta say about this? I mean, he was the #1 contender, but it seems that has been thrown out the window…

Funny thing is, I’m not so interested in the tournament as I am the Undertaker/Wyatt storyline…

Oh boy, Triple Teef talking the truth to Roman Reigns…. if Roman Reigns reminds me of The Rock… (well durr…) could Roman Reigns turn evil at the Survivor Series? Just like The Rock did at the Survivor Series in 98… to me it doesn’t matter whether Reigns turns evil or not.. the fans will feel what they feel about him. Triple… asking Reigns to pretty much join the Authority… Now there’s no Rollins for 9 months… OHHH CRAP Reigns has declined the offer! Take the offer and shove it up his candy @$$? I would have told Triple ‘No’ as well, but in a much nicer way… but now I look at it… if Triple is building towards his match with The Rock at WrestleMania, Roman Reigns is the key…

LET’S START THIS SH!T! Roman Reigns Vs Big Show to kick off the tournament!

STC’S Nicola Box is one of the 14,362 in attendance! We know how she feels about Roman Reigns, I can hear Nicola screaming from here! She feels almost the same as how I feel about Naomi… I hope Naomi’s beautiful @$$ is there this week…

…and so should Nicola scream her head off until her vocal chords are destroyed! Roman Reigns advances… the tournament brackets are now set up…and by that glimpse…it is clear that the Undertaker/Kane/Wyatt storyline WILL continue… which means any fans who thought otherwise I got four words for ya…

Wayne Rooney in the hiz-house! Big up Manchester United! Shout out to my ninja Irah and his brother Icy Fresh! Shout out to STC’s Bossman – Jamie Maverick Shields who might be swimming in his own sperm count!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh dear! Kevin Owens trying to insult the British Crowd and run down the Royal Family just backfired! NEWSFLASH Kevin – WE DON’T CARE ABOUT THE ROYAL FAMILY! Yeah I said it! The day Diana died, it was a WRAP. Maybe we care about Diana’s side of the family…

Good luck to Titus O’Neill… if the mighty John Cena couldn’t test Kevin Owens at first… Titus my ninja – you have NO CHANCE! But hey – The 1-2-3-Kid defeated Razor Ramon, so anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation!

FOR REAL! They doing Undertaker week on the Network all next week??? THAT’S IT!!! But Eddie Guerrero celebrates 10 years after his passing..yo WWE what you gon’ do???

Renée I’m not feeling your dress you wearing… Yo Deano – Talk to your girl!!!

I sincerely hope Becky Lynch beats out Paige’s blodclart… but since Paige is the #1 contender.. I can’t see Becky winning this…

WWE just released the official Survivor Series theme tune. It’s actually not bad… but you know the Infamous Informer always got a better one…

WHOA!!!! Anything CAN happen in the World Wrestling Federation! Becky just out-wrestled Paige! But Paige BEX!!! She put Becky in the PTO submission on the announce table! But did the crowd just boo Charlotte? Nah it couldn’t be so… where’s the cotton buds at – might have to clean out my ears on that one…

OH HELL NO – The two guys I hate – The Miz & Dolph Ziggler are facing each other to advance in the tournament, this is the part where I’m gonna go to the toilet, wash my hands, come back and tell you about what I purchased today…

WWE 50 BOOKSo here I was hunting down that Undertaker 25 Years of Destruction Book, but suddenly the book is hard to obtain. Did the distributors make a fatal error in mot printing enough copies? But I saw this book, It;s a steal at £6… so I snapped the sh!t up…

Alternatively I could tell you who’s on babestation tonight… That Kandi Kay – she is BAAAAAD!

Edmond Mulhall made me do it!

Edmond Mulhall made me do it!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OH SNAP!!! Crowd chanting -Who Are Ya? To Zeb Colter!! They dropping WHAT chants to him! AAAH SH!T – Zeb is putting England on BLAST! He says Germany tells England what to do! He says soon Vladamir Putin will tell them what to do!!! and England complains about people crossing the borders! WHOA!!! That’s the man YOU supported England fans… you were saying – WE THE PEOPLE and sh!t… I have NO SYMPATHY.

Jesus Have Mercy that Naomi… please Uso can I borrow your wife for a weekend? Like for my 36th Birthday in January? I’mWWE2K16 GRANT BODY -P!in love with your wife. I can’t hold it back! Did you see how Naomi entered the ring? OHHHHHHH!

I don’t know why Natalya is f**k!n around with Team B.A.D. she may have defeated my Naomi but the three of em just f**ked her up and Naomi put the glasses on Natalya while she was caught up in the Bank Statement!! Come on WWE, hand Team BAD the creative keys just like you did New Day!

Now word on the street is I should pay attention to this match… because you internet jabronies splattered the picture/video all over Facebook… Wade Barrett is in the ring with Sheamus running his mouth at Wayne Rooney…. now personally, I’m not a Rooney fan, but that’s another issue altogether. So I’m gonna pay attention to Sheamus Vs Cesaro…

NEXT MANAGER FOR MAN UTD?

NEXT MANAGER FOR MAN UTD?

Sheamus Vs Cesaro could be the show stealer here! Amazing counter techniques by both men the likes of which we have never seen! I said this before I’ll say it again, I don’t think you love Cesaro as you claim, if you really love Cesaro, why isn’t the arena full of Cesaro Section signs? Not just a small area?

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Cesaro killing it with those shoryukens! Rooney loves that sh!t! Barrett BEX! Barrett starts shooting his mouth off – Rooney boxes him in his mouth – BLAOW!!!! OH SH!T!!!!

NEXT MATCH!!! Deano Vs Tyler Sneeze all over his b!tch @$$! He just called Renée ugly, and he got Summer Rae by his side? Seriously guys, you cannot possibly support Tyler Sneeze. He just made The Miz and Ziggler look straighter than Indian hair!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Come on Deano! BEAT OUT TYLER’S BLODCLART!

Damn! Some kid is angry with Summer Rae/Tyler Sneeze! ‘That’s what you get when you mess with Dolph Ziggler!’ It’s still real to them damnit!!

OH NO!!!! THE NEW DAY ARE HERE!!! Ok let’s hear their Power of Positivity… that’s right! it’s an OUTRAGE!!! 16-man tournament and New Day are not in it? BLOODY DISGRACE!

NEW DAY’S insults to Europe have failed! Oh man!!!! But it doesn’t matter – New Day Vs Neville & Usos should be a thrilling contest, Not sure if it will top Cesaro vs Sheamus though…

They call that move – The Unicorn Stampede… Where all three New Day guys circulate in the corner and stamp out their opponent… I forgot to check if it’s in WWE2K16… if not then it should be in the new moves pack…

So the Tournament Brackets look like this:

WWE title TournamentI heard y’all not feeling the tournament!!! Oh well!!! #WhoeverLosesIWIN!!! You hate when I say that don’t you? It’s because I speak the truth – didn’t I tell you earlier that the Undertaker/Kane/Wyatt storyline is the main thing right now? We celebrating 25 years of the Don of Dons… you can keep your tournament! Truth be told I haven’t cared about the World Wrestling Federation Title holder since The Rock lost the title at WrestleMania 29! That’s due to me being an Undertaker fan!

Here they come, the wannabe Children Of the Corn – The Wyatt Man dem… claims he got Undertaker & Kane’s powers… this should be good… his ‘eulogy’…

British crowd singing ‘the whole world in his hands…’ That’s a NO from me: Grant Cowell!

Bow our heads and give thanks to my Dons??? YOU OUTTA ORDA & BRIGHT!

Where’s your super powers Wyatt? How come you can’t use em?

AAAAAAH SH!T!!!! UNDERTAKER & KANE ARE BACK!!! They have come to f**k up Wyatt! Wyatt tries his usual sh!t, and all his Wyatt boys have appeared… Rowan & Harper – DOUBLE CHOKESLAM – BLAOW! Braun Strowman knocks the Dons down with a double clothesline… but the dons rise up! grabbed Strowman and threw him over the announce table! Then… Wyatt left… Kane kicks him down! Both grab him by the neck – CHOKESLAM – BLAOW!!! Yes Wyatts, you can beat one of them down and there’s 4 of you, but you cannot withstand the combined might of the OGs – the Brothers of Destruction! The only thing I was a little disappointed with, was that Jim Johnston should have played this sh!t because he got it in the production truck, and if he did, it would truly be CURTAINS for the Wyatts!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Thanks to The Infamous Informer for the use of his scribings

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Monday Night Raw #1152, June 22, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Wrestling Blog logo

Barry Landel

It’s only right that I start the blog off like this. Even if you’re not a fan (which I’m not), you gotta pay respects to one of the foundations of wrestling. Take a bow Barry Landel, LIVE ON LIVE LONG.

(Er… I don’t think WWE gonna do the massive tribute for him like they did Dusty… no bell tolling 10 times or anything like that…)

I’m sure Heaven got a full roster now…. HWF (Heaven Wrestling Federation)… that’s what I’m calling it! Let’s keep it moving y’all! RAW #1152! Hol’ Dat – RECORD SKIP!!! Virgin Media says I can’t watch live??? MUTHAF***A!

WWF PROPA TINGZSource: WWE.Com

Hang on, let me get this right so I can understand this: Brock Lesnar has to give an apology for his actions back in April, but it’s Mike Cole doing the apologising??!!! HA! HA! HA! Yeah Mike… APOLOGISE!!! For being a WACK commentator when sh!t pops off! You stay quiet and sh!t… you don’t make the sh!t exciting! Fans cannot hate heels because YOU MIKE COLE don’t make it sound convincing like JR did! JR – that man made you HATE the heels. Now everyone cheers the heels and it’s YOUR FAULT!!!! Brock apologizes to JAY-BEE because he does his job properly!

Did you hear the crowd roar when Paul Heyman described Seth Rollins??!!! I’m just waiting for the meme that follows that!!!

Oh sh!!!!!t! July 19… mark it in your calendar people! Seth has a one way, all expenses paid, first class ticket to Suplex City B!TCH!!! the question remains: Will Seth smile through the onslaught????

It is a sad day, when Kane has to get help from Seth Rollins to defeat Dean Ambrose… not saying that Ambrose is weak but we talking Kane here! The big red retard who can finally speak!!!! (Shout out to The Rock!) But words from the wise to the guys in the locker room: When fighting Kane or Undertaker, NEVER go top ropes!!! They grab you by your neck, Chokeslam off the top rope – BLAOW!!! And Mike Cole didn’t even call that properly! FOOL!

YES PRIME TIME PLAYERS! AH YU DAT??!!! They defeated The Decension!!!! A part of me wats the Decension to stay in the main roster, the other part of me says ‘send dem muthaf***az back to NXT’- dem nah ready!!! You know what I really want? I want Kane to stop his foolishness, take the Decension under his wing… 3 man team – The Fires of Hell!!! I’m telling you – it would work!!!!

Look how Undertaker did it – formed The Ministry, The Brood, Acolytes, Mideon & Viscera, that’s 7 guys plus Undertaker. 5 of the 7 turned out successful in the end!

Are you not entertained Sheamus? I bet you are now! Roman Reigns beating you down and sh!t!

That is f**ked up!!!! How has Bray got f**ked up pics of Reigns in that dark room with candles and sh!t, acting like he’s having a tea party with Reigns daughter?

Now this is what I’m talking about Bray! Less of the cryptic shit you do and more of this deranged mind games! You took the advice onboard! Superb work Wyatt! Now let me hear the next person who complains about you…

“Xavier has got a lot to say, that’s all there is to it…” (JBL)

Well THE GRANT SAYS – You lucky Xavier hasn’t got a loud-speaker like Jimmy Hart! Or what about Daivari, who used to manage Muhammad Hassan! His mouth went at 100 miles an hour, and he spoke ‘Arab’!!! I put it in quotations because that was character back then!

With the PTP rushing the ring to even things up with the New Day, I’m surprised this match between Neville and Kingston wasn’t turned into a 6 man tag team ma…. Oh I forgot, Teddy Long wasn’t there…

I’m not a fan of both guys, but when Barrett turned his elbow pad red, and hit the Bullhammer super move to Wack Ryder while he was on top ropes… THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! BOOOOOOOM!!!

You know what Cena, big ups to WWE editing all that bla-bla-bla you do… I understand how you roll and all that… but I’d turn to Kevin Owens and say F**K YOU! I ain’t giving you an US Title shot! Because I issued an open challenge to you and you said NO. You stamp on my title like it’s garbage, You forgot great champions like Harley Race, Booker-T & Goldberg held this title muthaf***a? I challenge you for your NXT title and you say NO? F**K YOU!!! At Battleground, I’ll just f**k you up! Keep it Real huh????

WTF did Kevin Owens just say??? He just spoke in a different language! Answers on a postcard please at my twitter @MZATheInfamous!

Never mind hold the tweets! Now both muthaf***az speaking in French! god dammit where’s Maryse when you need her? In fact f**k that – Lillian Garcia – speak Spanish for me girl! F**k that – where’s my Roselyn Sánchez?? My Senorita??

32

See that woman above? You may have seen her in Devious Maids or Without a Trace or Boat Trip or most notably, Rush Hour 2, She only has to speak, and mi cocky stan up!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

F**K ME!!!! Naomi how are you gonna bounce off the second turnbuckle like that baby girl??? Sorry to be profane but that girl can f**k… just by watching those few seconds! In fact – f**k that – this is my blog – I ain’t apologizing for sh!t!

Just watch the first few seconds… but if you’re a Paige fan this won’t apply to you!

GRANT BODY – P!

AAAH SH!T! Tamina set up Nikki for the Rear End super move from Naomi, Nikki ducks, Naomi hits Tamina! Bellas pick up the win… CURSES!

Is that all Ryback??? A splash off the top ropes to defeat Mark Henry??? Oh mannnn!!! I expected you to pull off a 450 or something!!! Oh I get it… you heard about that Uhaa Nation dude… haha!!! Soon Ryback… soon!

You see this match right here? Adam Rose Vs Dolph Ziggler? This is that toilet break sh!t… Now as i mention it… I feel for the toilet now excuse me…

151049-no-more-heroes-3966

Maybe it is still worth watching after all… if it’s good for Rusev… I suppose it’s good for me!

Is it me or does Lana look unhappy? What’s wrong Lana, is it because Ziggler discovered what your name is backwards and wanted to try that sexual position???

GRANT BODY – P!!!

If there is one thing I will never understand more than smoking, its Anal intercourse. I mean… (JR VOICE – There’s DOODOO IN THERE! FOR GOD’S SAKES!)

OH SNAP! was Lana’s hair meant to all flow out then? Ziggler couldn’t even do that right! And his kissing technique is still suspect! I’m sitting here in disbelief… So is Rusev by the looks of things…GRANT BENT ON DESTRUCTION

Rusev so bex he threw away his crutches and him drop down ah ground! HAHAHAHA!!! MAKE IT BURN, MAKE IT BURN, (YOU GON LEARN!) MAKE IT BURRRRRNNNNNNN!!!

Wait a minute… what’s this?? Summer Rae???? Giving back Rusev his crutches? Don’t tell me she wants some of the super athlete??? Oh I see where this is going here! Mixed tag match: Rusev & Summer Vs Ziggler & Lana… I don’t know when, but remember I told ya!

Rusev.. you DO realise she’s a ‘Stupid American’… right??? That don’t mean sh!t when it comes to pum-pum!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

Listen to Seth Rollins begging the Authority to Take Him Back.. this isn’t Ghostface Killah And Jackie-O muthaf***a!

OH SNAP!!! Here Comes The Pain! But can he Bring The Pain to the Authority??? Rollins got a taste of suplex city, but has Kane waited all this time to wreak revenge for what happened to his older brother at WrestleMania last year? Chokeslam to Lesnar – BLAOW!!!

Did I… dis I just see Seth Rollins drop the CURB STOMP super move to Lesnar from the top ropes??? I think I did!!! BACKSIDE!

Another Chokeslam by Kane – BLAOW!!! (That was for breaking the streak muthaf***a!!!)

FOR REAL???? Rollins hit the Pedigree on Lesnar???? OH SH!T! Suplex City has a mayor! and his name is TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Monday Night Raw #1133, February 9, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

I just wanna take this time to thank Gangrel in an exclusive interview this past weekend. The guy is a don, real down to earth… and he’s STILL GOT IT!!! If anything, his fighting skills have improved! Big ups to PWL for such an EPIC show. You guys are killing it for the 2015!!!!

Look out for the exclusive interview on BDSIR NETWORK STC From The UK This Weekend!

Now lets turn our attention to these jabronies who say they won’t watch WWE but still tune in like the fools that they are!

Jamaican Jerk Pot Noodle in hand…Ani James on babestation. let’s do this!! RAW #1133!!! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!

wwf-propa-tingzOk Roman Reigns is gonna speak…. take it easy on the kid…. like you could do better b!atch!

Haha Danny is truly killing me this week! First Total Divas now this! He says when it comes to looks he and Reigns are even… Even Reigns had to laugh! Oh no what’s the Authority doing here??? What’s up Stephanie baby girl!

Stephanie you fine but what sort of stupidness are you talking??? How are you gonna cuss Danny for putting Kane in a casket – B!TCH – you booked the match in the first place you dumb rarse! That’s the idea fool! Even Danny said that’s nothing compared to what Triple did (referring to having sex with a corpse named Katie Vick)… Stephanie – no one is exempt –

Kane & Big Show team up? Damn are we in the year 2005/06???? I wished it was that year to be honest!!! I’ve noticed that on the WWE Network for Free this month (for me that is) I watch more matches from the Ruthless Aggression era. So under appreciated….

I didn’t realise Triple Teef and Stephanie were at ringside – TEEEEEEEEF!!! They don’t care for disqualifications! They wanted Big Show & Kane to brukk Reigns & Danny up…

Oh hang on – that’s the REAL PLAN – to have Danny & Reigns implode… Danny accidentally kicked Reigns in his ‘money maker’ so to speak… and Triple & Steph like it! Now they say they gotta fight again… this time against the whole authority (J&J, Big Show, Kane, Rollins)… TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!!

Oh wait a minute… didn’t Triple call Sting out to answer the Fast Lane request???? Keep that in mind people!

WHAT? Another DQ? Seth Rollins you are a PU$$Y! can’t handle Ryback so your pu$$yclart friends have to come in and teef… Randall where you at fool?

Sheamus is looking to return to the dance!!!! That’s what’s up!!!!!

Now it’s about Paige Vs Brie Bella… come on Brie!!!! Where’s Nikki at? You two got the spray cans again? LET’S DO THIS!

Great wrestling skills by Brie! Figure 4 Leg lock on the head of Paige! Danny taught you well! So I guess Danny was shooting blanks??? (Refer to my Total Divas blog this week!)

Take notes – Paige knocked Brie into Nikki in that contest, took advantage and got the win… I’m calling it now – Brie Vs Nikki for divas title… I’m convinced Brie is staying closer to her ‘enemy’!!!!

rusev-lana-cena

I’m so surprised that the US Title is on the line here… which has already gave me my judgment on this match… I like how they demonstrated the video how Cena took all that beating in over a decade… that ain’t sh!t! Try over TWO decades with the Undertaker… f**k that – what about a career spanning generations in Ric Flair N!&&@!!!

I don’t get it – why is Cena referred to as an old man??? How old is this dude – 37? Ok Triple is in his 40s, The Rock – in his 40s, even CM B!tch @$$ is around the same age as Cena… Goldust in his 40s…Brock Lesnar – in his late 30s – all these guys are STILL KILLIN IT! Shawn Michaels & The Undertaker – were both in their 40s at WrestleMania 25 – they got match of the year…. but John Cena is old????

It’s like Hip Hop – the best artists today are in their 40s… approaching 50 even! To say Cena is ‘too old’ you are as retarded as The Game! Took a shot at Jay-Z in the One Blood track, Yet no one cares about The Game no more…. the war to be a rap legend ended a long time ago fool!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Wait – Bray Wyatt is in the ring… destroy the battyman Ziggler… then start your cryptic sh!t grant-body-pbecause I am mad interested this time…

Mike Cole: Ziggler… his attitude is infectious…

JAY-BEE: I never thought that…

YES JAY-BEE! I don’t wanna shake my @$$! I don’t want spaghetti head top! I love women! BIG UP!!!

They continue the commentary..talking about – Bray Wyatt is so charismatic and has all these followers… I’m telling you this build up to the match with the Don of Dons is blodclart exciting! Dude hasn’t even arrived yet!

YES!!! THAT’S WHAT’S UP!!!! He brukk up Ziggler! That clothesline though – BLAOW!!!! There’s your hero IWC! YES WYATT!

OHHHHH SH!T!!! Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman are gonna speak their piece like Common/Notorious B.I.G.!!! I dunno, wouldn’t it be better to LOSE the match at Fast Lane??? I keep thinking of the 16 suplexes to Cena’s back bone…

OH SNAP!!! Paul Heyman is on that Bryan Williams sh!t!!!! This sermon is about LYING!!!! Breaking down how Roman Reigns and Danny Bryan are lying through their teeth!

Interesting: mixed crowd response when Heyman asks – is Danny the 1 to beat the 1 in 21-1??? I thought that’s who you’re backing to win??? You fickle fools!!!!

Improving on the New Day’s entrance… it’s awkward to watch them after the issues the BDSIR Network Perfect Plex Radio have with them… and I love these guys… Not to worry, they up against Gold/StarDust and all is not well between them two..

Dayuuum StarDust thought – f**k it – me garne!!!! All because Goldust called him – ‘Cody’… come on weirdos?!!!

MUTHAF**K!!!! that’s how to mark the f**k out!!!! Triple dared to call Sting out… does he know who he’s dealing with???? Turn out the lights! Hear the sound of the crow! Sightings of ‘Sting’ in the crowd! A flash of ‘Sting’ in the ring! Causing Triple to drop on his @$$! Titan tron f**k!n up Triple’s face before replying… I ACCEPT!!! And to think… Sting & the Undertaker could be at WrestleMania 31 but in separate matches…. OH LAWWWD!

triple-sting

Talking of OH LAWWWWD… look at Naomi’s attire! Excuse me for a moment I have a problem in my pants….

GRANT BODY – P!!!

The Usos may have lost the match to Cesaro & Tyson Kidd, but to see their dad Rikishi officially inducted in the Hall of Fame…. none of that sh!t mattered!! Big ups to Rikishi!!! Yes he smashed it! We all loved it, especially when he did it for The Rock… and apart from that and Undertaker throwing dude off the cell… this was my favourite Rikishi moment right here:

I mean, you look at the elements, The Rock, Trish Stratus, Vincent Kennedy then Rikishi…. that sh!t had me rolling for weeks after that!

Dayuuum that Miz is a B!TCH isn’t he! Ordering Mizdow around like that and sh!t… Trust me – the day will come when Mizdow will F**K HIM UP!

…and last time I check, it was Ric Flair N!&&@ who made the figure 4 leg lock famous… not your b!tch @$$ Miz!!!! I feel as though the Infamous Informer of old is returning! You know the guy who cusses the wrestlers and… hold on Bray Wyatt is on!

Talking all this ‘death’ sh!t!!!! Here’s another muthaf***a who doesn’t know who he’s dealing with!!!! I have evidence that Bray Wyatt don’t want it with the Don of Dons!!!

Meanwhile Curtis wants this to trend on his twitter #AxelMania… F**KOUTTAHERE!!!! Dean Ambrose knock some sense into this fool!

Oh sh!t!!!! Now Barrett has BNZ!!! And he shut down Kim Kardashian! Let’s be real – I used to fancy that b!tch until Kanye started f**k!n with her… I wonder what Ric Flair thinks about this???

ric-flair-kardashianShout out to @kingvaughnjr720 for that one!!! She could be simply paying homage! After all she was at WrestleMania 24… the same Wrestlemania where Ric Flair ended his career!

Now thanks to my stupid laptop freezing up and crashing like that I have no idea what happened in the 5 Vs 2 Main event… what I do know is two things: One – I’m not going to WWE.Com to find out, and Two, When I rebooted my system I saw Roman Reigns spear the sh!t out of Danny Bryan… Well it’s a case of ‘Fast Lane’, we have a problem….

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Infamous Informer

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Monday Night Raw #1115: October 6, 2014!!!

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It’s true Worst Comes to Worst my peoples come first… I gotta play Uncle duties, I had to look after my nephew while a family funeral is happening out-of-town. Which meant I missed RAW, and after what, two, three weeks of RAW foolishness, WWE pulls one out the hat when I’m not watching live??? DAMNIT, DAMNIT! DAMNIT!!!!!

This is my version of the events as according to WWE.Com. RAW #1115! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZSince when did you become a 2Pac fan Seth Rollins? All Eyes On Me, Me Against the World Sh!t???!!! All my enemies wanna kill me??!!! Thug Life Tattooed on my Belly??!!! He claims he loves it… well yeah – because you haven’t got BUSS ARSE yet that’s why!

Well Seth is either a 2Pac fan or a fan of Catwoman! This guy must have more lives than that b!tch! Every time Cena or Ambrose tries to get at him his legs did run! But not this time! Running into the crowd… what was The Shield known for apart from beating muthaf***az into the table? Yes – coming through the crowd – and that’s exactly what Ambrose did!

That’s it! BEAT HIM!!!! Oh goddamnit who sent the stooges down to break it up??? Hey Seth! Ever thought of running the 100 metres? I believe you can beat Usain Bolt!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Word on the street is that idiot Ziggler lost his Intercontinental Championship Belt at the airport… So irresponsible! Vince – FIRE HIS B!TCH @$$!!! You got money to recuperate damnit!

…and that’s the man you IWC b!tches want to become WWE Champion? It’s never gonna happen now – the fool lost the IC Belt!

OH SNAP!!!!! Ziggler & the Usos – triple kick in the kisser of Stardust – BLAOW!!!! His full set of teeth should be coming out of his @$$ by now!

Oh no it’s ok – he found it… where do you IWC jabronies get your info from? STOP READING THE DYAM DIRT SHEETS!

What the f**k does Adam Rose look like? I’m sorry – I can’t support him… he looks like a battyman vampire! I shall speak no more about this.

WHAT? NO! Bo Dallas defeats my don Mark Henry again??? I mean this time Henry had criminal intentions… he wanted to f**k up Dallas this time, setting up the announce table and sh!t… I say do it anyway! And say – THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!

Be patient Henry… you’ll get him!

Hmmm… amusing…Cena says that he sees in Ambrose what no one else has: GUTS… why did he not say ‘ATTITUDE’??? I’m jussaying… Shout out to the attitards!!!

So STC’s Ian Cooper was right!!!! Cena Vs Ambrose at the Hell in the Cell PPV with the winner facing Seth Rollins? What do you make of that people??? I’ll tell you what – tune in this week on BDSIR NETWORK – STC From The UK Sat 1am UK time, 8pm EST!

“You said you could beat me with one hand tied behind your back…. COME ON HOT SHOT!!!” (Vince McMahon to Stone Cold Steve Austin, April 1998)

10469748_10204537437416929_5824888263508120328_nWell Brie Bella thought she could try the same thing against Summer Rae. With my sexy Layla on her side, surely Summer Rae can’t go wrong, right?

WRONG!!!!! I can’t believe you Summer! I thought you had skills? Disappointed ain’t the word!!!

Big ups to Brie though…. she’s keeping the YES movement alive! Her music is still wack though… I gotta go in the lab and find a suitable theme song for her… since I don’t fancy Brie like I do Layla, Rosa, Naomi, Lillian, Stephanie… it will take me a while to find that track…

How is Tyson Kidd gonna use Natalya as a shield to get away from Wack Swagger? What sort of stupidness is that???

HAHAHA! Tyson Kidd getting the better of Swagger and Tyson is like – HI FIVE Nattie! Natalya just kissed her teeth and walked away!!!

Big ups to Roman Reigns he’s on the mend… but let’s be real… that was a waste of satellite TV!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh snap! It’s Vladamir Putin’s Birthday! SALUTE THIS MAN!!!! Or maybe not…..

Vladimir_Putin_-_2006

HA! HA! HA! HA! Lana don’t give me joke! The Big Show should be in prison like all of us???!!! For desecrating the Russian Flag? OH SH!T!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! We committed a hate crime!!!! Wait a minute – Lana baby girl – haven’t you being hating on the Americans for months now????!!!

I’m not American, but I would chant USA! Just to hear Lana say SHUT-UP!!! It turns me on….!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Er… Rusev…. if Big Show has been suspended, why you calling him out so you can crush him???? Er… anybody in there??? (knocking your head to check if there is a brain in there!)

NOW THIS IS WHAT I HEARD ABOUT!!! The past few weeks, I’ve been yawning my @$$ off at RAW and watching Babestation at the same time. The ONE WEEK I miss Raw due to family commitments, and THE ROCK appears on RAW???!!! Did you IWC jabronies pick this up in the dirt sheets??? You think Lana is getting wet…. with perspiration???

Hit the link below after the jump:

The Rock went to Queens, Manhattan, The Bronx!!! That’s what I love about this dude – he knows his Hip Hop Origins!!!! That’s why I’m like – F**k The Rock haters!

Whoa -whoa- whoa – Rock??!!! You had one last borough to go to? You forgot Staten Island homes???? The home of A Better Tomorrow! In stores on Warner Bros records December 2, 2014!!!!!

This is the part where the crowd should be chanting – WU-TANG! WU-TANG! WU-TANG! WU-TANG!!!!

15,000+ strong in Brooklyn chanting HOLY SH!T! HOLY SH!T! HOLY SH!T!!!! upon Rock’s presence!

Look at The Rock looking up and down at Lana… do you think he’s gonna ‘fix his jeans’???

What the hell was Rusev blubbering on about??? – IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT HE THINKS!!!!

OH SNAP!!! The Rock just quoted Jay-Z!!!! STC member Richard Selby is gonna love this!!!!

The Rock just slapped the sh!t out of Rusev!!!! He should have fixed his jeans to Lana though!!!!

You should have never told The Rock to Shut Up Lana! Now he got #SovietStreetWalker trending on twitter! Oh dear you know bad mouthing The Rock is baaaad news!!!

Right these are Anthony Benigno’s words: Not mine!

“With Alicia Fox now holding the coveted title of Paige’s Best Friend, it was only a matter of time before The Diva of Tomorrow and her batty BFF teamed up in an official capacity to torment the reigning Divas Champion, AJ Lee.”

I have an idea what ‘batty’ means over in the states, but in Jamaican terms batty means bottom, @$$.. backside… that sort of thing. you put ‘man’ at the end of batty and well a picture of Adam Rose or Darren Young or Dolph Ziggler will appear in the dictionary!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

What the rarse is this Emma doing? All this dancing nonsense? This ain’t Strictly Come Dancing fool??!!! This ain’t ballet?!!! This is WWE woman!!!! Look at AJ Lee… frustrated and sh!t… a fine woman like that should not be frustrated???????!!!!!

So w’happen, has Cesaro & Miz switched dance partners? Now The Miz could be fighting Sheamus for the US Title, while Cesaro could be fighting Ziggler for the IC? Meanwhile the crowd love Damien Sandow! Expect a face turn from Sandow somewhere down the road. The fans love his ‘stunt double’ antics!

Right IWC! F**k what you think you know. Last week, you assumed that Luke Harper is going solo… This week, that cryptic promo was as f**ked up as they come with Eric Rowan! The GRANT SAYS THIS: Don’t try to work it out… and that pregnant vision was mad disturbing… I think that all it is, is that the Wyatt Man dem have put extra creativity behind them… and it’s worries for everyone in the mid-card division at least!

You see what happen when you farce yourself in next man business Cena? Now Ambrose has gone to get a hot dog or two… and you’re there getting timberland boot stomped out by Randall, Seth and Glenn…

Wait a minute – I thought Ambrose went for a hot dog? He’s back and he’s brought the cart with him!!! I guess Cena, Glenn, Randall & Seth are hungry too… all that wrestling they be doing…

Oh hang on!!! He got ketchup & mustard as his artillery? Er… Randall… Glenn… turn back! You don’t want none of that!

Told ya!!! My fallen hero Kane & the evil Randall went from setting people on fire and ‘killing legends’ to being squirted with mustard & ketchup… To quote The Streets: Has It Come To This????

Oh lawwwd that must sting! Ambrose throwing a hot tub of onions over Rollins backbone!!! You know the onions have ben in that hot oil and sh!t!!!

OH SNAP!!!!! Ambrose use the spatula thing and clamped Rollins in his seedbag! Oh that’s it now – Sex life DUN!!!

Since I never saw this live, I can’t exactly judge this show… what I can say though… is The Rock’s appearance alone makes RAW automatically was better than the past two or three weeks… and I suppose WWE knew their ratings were in trouble… so they hit the emergency glass button! THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED!

RUSEV & LANA: Shame on you, when you step through to – the Ol’ Dirty Bastard – BROOKLYN ZOO!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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What a LA-LA at the Royal Rumble! Just like the bossman of the Smack Talk Centre said: ‘The PPV was like meeting a hot woman on a date, she’s into you, you’re into her, you’re about to get that Drew & Derwin on, you know that wonderful night, only to find out she has a D!CK!!!’ The record skips and you are running for the hills. Next thing you know you find yourself on Jerry Springer Show…

Limo Blow up

Isn’t it ironic? That last week on Raw, Triple Teef told Randall to ‘Fix It and Make it Right’??? Now after the Rumble, the atrocity that was Danny not even in the Rumble, my good Wu-Tang friend Batista won the thing, now it’s TRIPLE TEEF that’s gotta fix it…and MAKE IT RIGHT! I think Vincent Kennedy should give Triple the ’30 days to turn WWE around’… or he’s FIRED!!!

 

Threats to boycott WWE Network, Mick Foley about to throw the brick through the TV, controversy hitting BBC News… SH!T IS CRAZY! RAW #1079! HOL’ DAT BLAOW!!

WWF PROPA TINGZOk get out here Triple TEEF! i don’t know why you’re smiling about!!!

Damn the fans still bex about Batista!! Hold up Stephanie talking about the chamber… and Danny waste no time coming out here!!! that’s it Danny! Kick down Triple!!!! The hottest superstar out today and he can’t even enter the rumble??? BLASPHEMY!!!

YES! YES! YES! Tell that Triple TEEF! You want in the Chamber and compete for that World Wrestling Federation Title!!! Tell him say he’s keeping you down! I guess the script writers got to work big time!!! I suppose it is INJUSTICE! Send for the Shield!!!

Sheamus is back in effect rude boy! Here comes Cena with his glow in the dark shirt! What’s that in his back pocket? You’re not a blood! you’re not a crip muthaf***a!!! that’s like a green handkerchief or some sh!t!! What are you tryna start a Cenation crew to go against the Bloods and the Crips???

Wait – I thought WWE can’t use that Sin Cara character again??? I see him teamed up with Mysterio, who was booed at the Rumble but we all know the boos were not meant for him coming out at #30…. let’s not talk about the rumble too much, don’t wanna wind up your b!tch @$$£$! You think I don’t know about that video of your fat @$$ tearing up the house because Danny wasn’t in the rumble???

Six man tag team match announced for Raw! The Shield Vs Danny, Johnny and Sheamus! Winning team goes to fight inna de Chamber! Well I think we know the winners here… like we can see Randall defending his title against the Shield & Brock Lesnar in the Chamber! But wait! I wouldn’t put it past WWE to throw Roman Reigns up in the Chamber! WATCH DI RIDE!!!

I never thought I’d say this but… BAD NEWS BARRETT!! You got me!!! That big out podium, you want some decorum??? I like that word!!! I had to google that sh!t!!!

dɪˈkɔːrəm/
noun
noun: decorum

1.
behaviour in keeping with good taste and propriety.
“he had acted with the utmost decorum”
synonyms: propriety, properness, seemliness, decency, decorousness, good taste, correctness, appropriateness;
politeness, courtesy, good manners;
refinement, breeding, deportment, dignity, respectability, modesty, demureness
“he had acted with the utmost decorum”

Jesus Have Mercy that Summer Rae!!! (Down boy! Down!!!) I feel the eyes rolling into the back of my head top!!! I was told I was ‘not normal’… to those who say that, THE GRANT SAYS – Thank You For The Compliment!

Not feeling that WrestleMania XXX theme tune!!! F**k that theme tune – The Infamous Informer got his own theme tune!!!!

 

Can someone tell me why every time Fandango is in the ring that NXT chick Emma is in the crowd??? Answers on a postcard please! Nah f**k that – tweet me – @MZATheInfamous!!!

HA HA! Batista pointing at the fans with a sign saying – ‘BooTista’!!!! And smiling about it! OH SNAP!!! Hold up – what are the fans chanting? I can’t hear th… oh hang on I got it – DANIEL BRYAN!!!

Better choice of jeans by the way Batista… stop wearing that skinny jeans sh!t!

While my good friend Batista tells Randall that he don’t business who him a fight, perfect opportunity for BRRRROCK LESSSNAR to come out – remember he said he was fighting the champion!!!

Look at BROCK!!! Screaming like a Beast at the Viper! I think the Viper looked like he got a bad case of diarrhoea!

So that’s how it goes down in the streets? Either Lesnar fights Batista, or he fights Randall for the title, or ELSE…. No one leaves Cleveland alive??? OH SNAP!

What the f**k? Battle of Cleveland match? Dolph Ziggler vs the Miz? Ok this is the part where I get my tea…. it’s cold out here!

Ok I’m back…. who won that match I missed it???

 

OH SNAP!!! THE ROCK GOT ME!!!

Damn I love that entrance by the Uso brudda! I love the Samoan chant, When they say Us, we say Os… then the pyro – BLAOW!!!! One of my favourites since the Batista entrance!

Meanwhile… big ups to Smack Talk Centre’s #1 Dutty Bwoy Lee Steadx for this one!

THE INFAMOUS NEMESIS!

Look at that fat muthaf***a! Makes me wanna give him two kick in his dutty mouth!

It’s the USOS TIME NOW!!! They defeated Dryback! I can’t believe one year ago Ryback was my Royal Rumble champion… look at him now… anyone would think he talked sh!t about Triple Teef and Stephanie!

Oh hang on – the next Hall Of Fame inductee??? Could it be the British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith???

As much as I like Bertie, I want Kofi to win this one… word up man can’t they give Kofi a push after he defeated Randall and his wild @$$ stunts at the Royal Rumble??? Look past the fact that he’s a black man who is more than capable of taking Summer Rae away from Fandango… well that ‘s if he was a bona-fide yardy!

Did someone just have a sign saying ‘Sting Vs Taker WM30′???? My eyes are razor-sharp like The RZA! Oh no the fans not feeling the match! Cheering JBL and now Jerry Lawler! They’re not chanting Michael Cole as well?!!!!

That same fool with that sign I mentioned earlier now has a sign saying ‘Cena Still Owns Rock’… I don’t care how much you paid for that ticket – you could have got some pu$$y with that money! And change left over to buy some muthaf***!n toothpaste and mouthwash after you had your dirty stinking mouth full of hair!

GRANT BODY – P!!!BDSIR LAYLA GRANT

Now the fans are feeling the match! Backing Kofi! Come on kid! Use your Guinness Punch skills! Use the ackee & salt fish! Calaloo! all that good sh!t us Jamaicans love to eat!

Oh snap… Bertie won… damnit! Yes – WWE2K14 is one of the hottest games out now.. that is until June when Ultra Street Fighter IV drop! It’s over for everybody tuh-blodclart!

Considering the New Age Outlaws are ‘heels’, they don’t convince me as heels! They are those guys you can never boo!

I love when the WrestleMania sign is hanging high in the arena… that sign makes you FIGHT YOUR BEST!!! Ever noticed that the quality of wrestling matches has improved???

Random thought – can you imagine if Goldust and Billy Gunn had a feud back in the New Generation/Attitude Era? Think about it, Billy Gunn’s alias is Mr A$$… and considering Goldust gimmick back in the day… Billy Gunn would be asking for trouble! Saying that, if it was TV14 now, Goldust would be going after Dolph Ziggler or Darren Young… imagine that sh!t! Even Darren Young wouldn’t want him!

NO WAY! Brock Lesnar fights nobody because the authoritaaah was rampin??? Now he’s dropping steel chairs on the Rhodes Brudda??? Doesn’t it remind you when Austin and Triple Teef were dropping Steel Chairs on the Hardys and Lita? My boys Kane & The Undertaker???? Hmmm… The Undertaker… (strokes long white beard)

YES!!!! GO LADIES!!! My Favourite Nubians! The Bella Twins! Aksana! Alicia Fox! Tamina! AJ Lee! They would all get my majestic member!

Good work by the camera man focussing on AJ Lee’s Bonita Applebum! that goes for Naomi’s badukadunk too!

 

Did you see that wild @$$ triple suplex???? I haven’t seen the guys do that! Hold on – Naomi pinned the Divas champion like – 3 times now??? WTF??? GIVE MY WOMAN A TITLE SHOT AJ! Stop being stingy! The battle of the @$$£$!!!

OH SNAP!!!! JAKE THE SNAKE DEP INNA DE HALL OF FAME!!! He didn’t make it to the rumble… but wrestlers be trippin’ when he throws that muthaf***a in the ring! I would be too! Them things can kill you! One bite and you’ve HAD IT!

HOF Warrior Jake

MAIN EVENT TIME! 6 MAN TAG TEAM JUMP OFF! WINNING TEAM GOES INTO THE CHAMBER!!! Michael Cole just mentioned CM Punk – I noticed we haven’t seen him today! Well bwoy after that chokeslam from my hero Kane he probably hasn’t got up from that! The question remains – does that mean that Kane will be fired from D.O.O.?

Crowd chanting for Roman Reigns! He is an OFFICIAL BAD MAN!!! Yo I loved when Michael Cole read the list of people’s that Reigns eliminated including JAY-BEE, in which Mr Layfield snapped – WILL YOU STOP READING THE STUPID LIST AND CALL THE MATCH!!! That sh!t is funny – JAY-BEE took off his jacket read to fight, Reigns dashed him out, and JAY-BEE put back on his jacket!!! I thought you were a wrestling…. GOD!!!

OH SNAP!!! The Wyatt Bwoy dem come to f**k it up for Cena! But that means they f**ked it up for the Shield to go to the chamber!!! Does this mean that the IWC may finally get the dream wank match that they have been craving for ever since the Wyatt Bwoy stepped on the scene? Could we see a 6-man Elimination Chamber Tag Team war between the Shield and the Wyatts???? It’s only right!!!! You can do it on WWE2K14!!!

Wait, I might be expecting too much then I get bex…. like a lot of these wrestling fools…

 

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Smack Talk Centre Raw – Monday Night Raw #1055: August 12 2013

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Monday Night Raw #1055: August 12, 2013!!!

YO! YO! Put your f**k!n fingaz up, muthaf***az! Coz if you don’t give a f**k like we don’t give a f**k PUT YOUR MUTHAF**K!N FINGAZ IN THE AIR!!!

OFFICIAL Smack Talk Centre Summerslam Theme Song: Ja Rule & The Murderers – ‘We Don’t Give a F**K’

This is how it goes down! Once friends now enemies fighting over a leather briefcase! NXT Sistrins now NXT Nemesis team up with their respective men to go at it tag team style! Someone is gonna get BURNT! Can David bring down Goliath? Will the IWC go YES! YES! YES! or NO! NO! NO! and make angry YouTube videos forgetting to wash themself first?

It’s the RAW before SUMMERSLAM!!!! #1055! HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZBefore I go in, I just wanna say that Total divas on E! is THE MOVE! Ssssssssshhhh! Don’t tell the wrestling purists! They will get mad if you watched Total Divas over G1 CLIMAX this past weekend! F**K THAT – IT’S ABOUT A WOMAN’S WORTH! I don’t watch wrestling 24-7 jabroni!!!

I should have known that if Brad Maddox is the referee, something was gonna go down with the Wack Barrett Vs Danielson match…. Danielson missed the YES Kick, Barrett rolls up the kid, and the scrawny Maddox used a fast count!!!! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF! Look at the sissy Maddox reminding Danielson that he can shut down the main event if Danielson does something rash… I would have f**ked him up same way, because I know Triple would rectify the situation right! GM or no GM, Danielson you should have kicked him down! You think Austin would have thought twice? it would be an instant STUNNER!!!

I wanna big up Cody Rhodes… you know why? He threw that stupid fisher price My First Briefcase in the drink a few weeks ago, and now Sandow get himself a nice sensible leather briefcase! Very good Cody! I still hope Sandow f**ks you up at Summerslam! Don’t expect much praise from me!

Interesting… Cody Rhodes claims that Sandow WILL NOT become the World Heavyweight Champion before he does…. WELL THE GRANT SAYS you might be right… but the moment you’re champion and you just had a gruelling match, who do you think would cash in his cheque against you??? You wanna think about that!

Why is there all this talk about Sandow & Randall cashing their cheque at Summerslam? I can sorta understand in the case of Randall… but let me tell you NOW: They are NOT gonna cash in!!! It’s what everyone expects! F**K THAT! Come check me next week and know that I’m right!

Big ups to Dean Ambrose!!! He just said that if the ghost of André The Giant is not in the Battle Royal then NO ONE STC Summerslam 2013CAN BEAT HIM for the US Title!!!  Now the rest of the Summerslam card is getting put together!

Wack theme song that WWE has chosen…. some bullsh!t @$$ tune by 2Chainz? We don’t do that over here THIS IS THE STC! Cage Amateurs UK! THIS IS HIP HOP! (Just check the tune above, top of the blog!

Yo CM Punk, I asked you before, I’ll ask you again… did you just quote another hip hop quotable? “You come at the King, you best not miss…”???? Sorry readers you don’t follow…. observe…

Big ups to Big E Langston! He said what I’ve said all along…Ziggler needed him to win his matches… Langston didn’t need Ziggler at all! YES! That’s the SISSY you support! Some of you have sons, and you are telling your sons that a wrestler wearing pink brief and whines himself and ‘twerks it’ is OK????? WAKE THE F**K UP MUTHAF***AZ!!!

SHOCK! HORROR!!!! Natalya defeated AJ! No need to go to specsavers – YOU SAW RIGHT!!! Natalya won a match!!! Natalya for women’s champion STRAIGHT AWAY!!!

UH OH!!! Somebody’s in trouble…trrrrouble… TRRROUBLE!!! Brad Maddox must answer to Vincent Kennedy!!! He could be fired right now!!!

Now he wants to be the ref for Cena Vs Danielson at Summerslam????? TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!

GRANT - BODY - P…and just as Vincent Kennedy was about to appoint the Sissy Maddox guest referee, Triple puts a stop to that ONE TIME! Now Triple Teef is the guest referee!!!! Right you unwashed IWC idiots, I hear you saying ‘Overkill’ on the main event, why don’t you shut the f**k up for a minute… Triple claims he’s got everything on lock, I’m not so sure! Last time I check, Triple was the ref for the John Cena Vs CM Punk match two years ago, and what happened? Kevin Nash f**ked it up for CM Punk!!! Just reminding you… IT’S WHAT I DO!!!

That’s it Kane! Out-think the Wyatt massive! I see you rude boy! Using an Undertaker mind game! Disappear out the ring and appear at the other side!!! Drop the FYRE on em!!! the fire is the purification!!! But yo! Bray Wyatt is loving everything!!! This Ring of Fire/Inferno match is gonna be MAAAAAAAAD!!!!

You know what’s even better at Summerslam? 2 Divas matches!!!! Brie Bella and Natalya catch up!!! Natalya gave the b!tch slap last week – Brie turns the other cheek! She’s only doing what was written in the good book! Brie is bringing her girls – Nikki and that troublesome red-head Eva Marie, Natalya bringing my favourite Nubians – Cameron & Naomi! YEAAAH BOYEEEEE! You jabronies hit the bathroom at that time – give me a bucket of fried chicken and a supermalt and I’ll enjoy this sh!t!!! Yeah! I’m not a pro wrestling fan so what!!!! At least not any more!!!

Oh f**kin hell, These so-called Real Americans… time to have a p!$$…. Oh Zeb Coulter SHUT THE F**K UP…

Hold up – did Zeb just wish death on 2.5 so called ethnic minorities??? If you still a Coulter fan I am liable to punch you in your f**k!n mouth.

Ok Usos – don’t let these bigots beat you this time! If they beat you, you have disgraced Rikishi, Haku, Superfly Snuka, Umaga, Tamina, Roman Reigns, The Rock, and most importantly, High Chief Peter Maivia!!!!

YES! YES! YES! YES! I’m feeling like Danielson right now!!! GWARN USOS!!! The stars and legends are proud!!!! IT’S ALL ABOUT THIS SAMOAN FIST!!!!

Now for some serious sh!t…. The Miz got Cena and Danielson on his show, and was told by Danielson to stop his noise before he boxes him in his mouth! Cena spouts the same sh!t, it is real talk what he says though, he deals with critics every day, he knows he hears them (and by that, he means you IWC) go on about his 5 moves of doom and his make a wish stories… but Danielson says he’s in this sh!t for the WRESTLING!! That Cena is a parody of this wrestling sh!t!!! Which weighs out more? Hold up Cena used the dreaded W word – WRESTLING! BACKSIDE!!!! Yo I gotta song for the both of you, but before I do, Cena goes on like he’s beaten everybody…. NEWSFLASH!!! You haven’t beaten Undertaker rude boy! Now for the tune…. It’s a shame, people in the rap game, only in it for the fame extra-large!!!!

Cena is not a WRESTLER? The respect isn’t there? Triple comes out to maintain order? Randall reminds em what he got in his hand? SH!T JUST GOT REAL!

Now let’s have some fun… what the f**k has R-Truth done to his hair???? Has he relaxed his hair or something?

Quote of the night comes from Jerry Lawler – “I bet you wanna dance with Summer Rae, dial 1-800-YOU WISH!!”

Don’t you love that when Fandango gets buss arse, he still can breathe enough to say what his name is? Why does Summer Rae continue to hang around with this sissy?

Ok Battle Royal jump off!!!! The winner, gets to fight Dean Ambrose for the US Title…. in YouTube!!!! Is it worth the hassle? I could back certain guys here but it’s for the US title, I mean big up to Ambrose for putting prestige on it, but it’s like, you dep pon YouTube!

Big up Kofi for using crazy skillz and agility to hold out in the Battle Royal! But those racist bastards had to eliminate him didn’t they? BACKSIDE! Well at least Usain Bolt and Shelly-Ann Fraser Pryce represented in the championships lately! Trust in my hero Mark Henry to eliminate the racist bastards! THAT’S WHAT HE DO!!! RESPECT!

Big ups to RVD for taking Mark Henry out to face Dean Ambrose! It’s a shame we won’t see them fight at the gathering unless someone hooks up YouTube on their iPh- “WELLLLLLL, IT’S THE BIG SHOW!!!” BACKSIDE!!! Just when the Shield was gonna move in on Mark Henry and RVD, Mr Iron Clad contract appears ready to bring the ruckus! Did you see the look on Seth Rollins face??? He was like – OH SH!T!!!! Now I get it!!! RVD fights Ambrose, Mark Henry & Big Show combine their force against the tag team champions. As for the Ryback….sh!t just hasn’t been the same since John Cena called the Ambulance on his @$$!!!

Ok here’s the main event! Yo what happened to Heyman’s ECW music???? Sound bwoy! DJ! Fix up man!

Summerslam MarvelIT’S A TRAP!!! Screamed the IWC and the WWE Universe! Well no sh!t Sherlock!!! Now according to Heyman, it’s up to Punk to play the ‘stupid hero’ and get buss arse, or not turn up at all and be a ‘smart coward’. Thankfully for Punk, he was neither… Wolverine knows about stealth techniques!!!! Disguised as a camera man, took the camera, beat it over Brock’s head with it – BLAOW!!!!! Grabbed a chair, took advantage of the fallen beast – slam it in his back bone – BLAOW!!! Heyman’s legs did run!!! And again, not one scratch pon him face!!!! It’s just like Paul Bearer back in the day – he always got away from getting buss arse by Undertaker after the betrayal and once Undertaker got his hands on Bearer – his goose cook! And soon that will happen to Heyman!

Now earlier in the blog I said that the quote of the night came from Jerry Lawler, well our survey says – NOT REALLY! It came from a random fan and it went a little something like this:

Cena: I’ve beaten HBK, Triple, JBL, The Rock, CM Punk…

Daniel Bryan: You call their names like they are better than me…

Random fan: THEY ARE!!!!

DROP THE BOMB ON EM!!!!!!

ARE YOU READY FOR SUMMERSLAM NOW??? THE BATTLEGROUND IS SET!!! BRING THE MUTHAF**K!N RUCKUS! IF YOU DON’T GIVE A F**K LIKE WE DON’T GIVE A F**K PUT YOUR MUTHAF***!N FINGAZ IN THE AIR!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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