Tag Archives: The Undertaker

Monday Night Raw #1301, April 30, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

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Imagine! I’m supposed to talk about how Titus O Neill became a Shame of a Nation at the Greatest Royal Rumble… but someone from the Smack Talk Centre decides to tag me in the picture above… NIAAAAA JAAAAAAXXXX! She’s just baaaaaaaad! Imagine her riding your tings! Whining those hips! I am so surprised Redman hasn’t shown up to a WWE event yet… imagine a storyline with Nia & Redman… it would be the best ever!

Redman approves

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RAW 1301! I haven’t done this blogging thing in a while, lets see if I still got it!

Jerry Lawler calls it Bizarro Land, I call it THE PROMISED LAND! The home of my real life woman (Hi Leanna!) RAW is in Canada, and they are booing the hell out of Roman Reigns!

Come on Canada – it’s not like he retired The Undertaker!!!!

Oh dear! Canada you might as well start cheering Reigns – you boo Samoa Joe and now you boo Jinder Mahal!

Jinder Mahal believes he can win the Universal Championship! Wait – Sami Zayn gets cheered!!!! Well that’s alright then! we didn’t wanna boo him anyway!

Oh no – they might boo Bobby Lashley – he prevented Zayn from going to the Greatest Royal Rumbles! They might chant ‘YOU SCREWED BRET’ er I mean ZAYN!

GRANT BODY-P!

And now they cheer Kevin Owens! Would this technically mean Danny Bryan would get booed??? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me – @MZATheInfamous!

Well at least the crowd wanna see Roman Reigns fight! He gets butts in the seats!!!

Trust in Braun to clean house! He gets cheered – Can’t go wrong!

Oh no – Elias in concert? I didn’t pay to see him? I’m still hurt I didn’t get to see Killah Priest and Lords Of The Underground!!!

I gotta give Elias his props, I don’t think he was meant to get this over with the fans…

Oh no Bobby Roode f**ked up his throat! Elias announces himself as the winner… it would have been even better if Elias sent for the guitar and started singing about Roode’s throat! That would have been TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!

Wait a minute – two local French Canadian wannabe La Resistance fools wanna get buss arse by The Authors Of Pain?? They got entrance music too! WHOA! Did Barry Horowitz get that sh!t? Answers On A Postcard please!

Charly Caruso did ask the fools why…. they should have told her the truth – they wanna get a quick $3000!

GRANT BODY-P!

You know some fool at the Chiarshot  FB wrestling group asked – why Seth Rollins didn’t help join the six man tag match with Reigns & Lashley against Mahal & Sami & Kevin later? FOLLOW THE STORYLINE! WRESTLING IS STORYLINE! See that’s why fans don’t make any sense when they claim to book better than the official bookers! (Not saying that the WWE Bookers are perfect – they’re not) but fans are just that – FANS! KNOW YOUR ROLE!

I don’t think even Seth Rollins was prepared for this ovation! Anyone would think he was inducted in the Hall of Fame!

Ok enough of this French talk from the guys – let’s hear it from the women! (Not you Alexa you’re ugly)

GRANT BODY-P!

The crowd is crazy!!!! There’s probably some idiot sitting behind the computer screen like – ‘I want the attitude era’ back…

I can’t believe Curtis Axel & Bo Dallas wanted to form the 4 Horsemen with Balor and Seth! That’s disrespect to Flair! They must want Flair to take off his clothes in disgust!

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Oh yeah that goes for Ruby Riot – Do NOT SPEAK French!

But Sasha – you can speak French all day!!! OH YEAH!!!

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Even the boss lady was no match for the Riott Squad. She and Bayley (and maybe somebody else – Rousey maybe?) should stop being b!tches and combine their force!

Now I was gonna retire to my bed because I am mad tired – but yo – Titus is coming on! The star!!!!

But just before that – Alexa wants sympathy – she gets NONE FROM ME! As far as I’m concerned – she can GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE with her crocodile tears! And I hope she BURNS IN HELL!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

“This is for everybody who had a ‘Nia’ in their life”… Well THE GRANT SAYS – if ‘Nia’ looks like that – I WANT HER IN MY LIFE! GOD DAYUUUUUUUM!

Titus admitted that he took the L! What a good sport!! He’s smiling too! As usual Baron Corbin is hating… watch this – Corbin gonna lose!

As for Woken Matt Hardy & Wyatt… YAAWWWWWWNNN look at the time! Past my bedtime! (Nothing to do with the RAW Tag Team Champions, I am actually genuinely tired.) Goodnight wrestling fans, don’t let the Double R bugs bite you in your basement @$$!

GRANT WWDJC2

Good morning True wrestling fans! Welcome back, and I hope you are still joining in at home. I wake up this morning praising the lord for another day, but also contemplating how to get that God Of War game… like I want the game but I have so much going on I don’t want to regret it financially. Anyway enough rambling on, let’s watch the rest of RAW! Where’s my coffee at?

Drew Wackintyre & Dolph Ziggler think every superstar should be afraid… I don’t know about you but when you have guys like Bray Wyatt, Matt Hardy, The Authors of Pain, Bobby Lashley & Braun around… this is the part where I become my favorite superhero as I say this:

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I know everyone’s favourite hero is Thanos right now… sorry – Blade is STILL DA MAN!

OH NO!!!!! Titus clearly using his misfortune and turning it into a positive to f**k up Baron Corbin! No Way Jose caught Corbin with a distraction roll up! I know Shadfather & Icy Fresh loves those! I think Corey Graves is on to something… No Way Jose joining Titus Worldslide??? I could slide to that!!!

I so cannot wait to see Alexa Blitch get BUSS ARSE by Nia Jax again! Alexa got life though this week because if Ronda Rousey ketch haar Alexa would be in a box! And we don’t want that now do we lads? It would be a sad day for you while I be Thanos laughing in your face!

GRANT BODY-P!

Great wrestling contest between Seth Rollins and Finn Balor – well do we expect anything less? Reversals galore, near falls, beautiful! Unlucky Balor – But you don’t have a match at Backlash though… er uh-oh! Therin lies WWE’s problem! So much talent its unreal.

A team with Double R, Lashley and Braun… there’s no way Sami Jinder and Kevin can beat them surely???

OH NO NOT AGAIN! Every time Sami & Kevin find their feet on the outside, Braun knocks them down again! But this move in WWE2K19 PLEASE!!!!! Make it a OMG! Moment! Because that sh!t is too funny!

Now…it’s gonna hurt me, but if I want God of War, Burnout Paradise will have to leave the building temporarily. Just like business, you have to make tough decisions. John and Nikki know all about tough decisions…

GRANT BODY-P!

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Monday Night Raw #1298, April 9, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

SHAME. SHAME. SHAME! RING THE BELL!

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Imagine! I’m supposed to talk about how Ronda Rousey looked sexy in that little kilt she had on, I should talk about when a little kid named Nicholas is a tag team champion and could get the next Warrior award next year, I should talk about how NO ONE apart from Mike Knoxxx knew that Brock Lesnar was gonna hold down the title and could be going for the 434 days…which I support I might add! I should even talk about the Undertaker! Looking like a million bucks and f**ked up John Cena… but when you talk WrestleMania moments… it doesn’t get better than this! Natalya exposing her shaven pu$$y in front of 78,811 fans… GOD DAYUUUUUUM!

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RAW 1298! RAW AFTER MANIA! Who’s coming from NXT? Who is gonna surprise our @$$£$?

Look at Stephanie’s arm!! AWWWWWWW!!! Now SHUDDUP and sign those cheques!

Hey Ronda girl don’t trust that Stephanie!!! What is she up to?

It’s very similar to when Vincent Kennedy was trying to tell Austin that he needs to adapt and be flexible, and adaptation is a key of life as well as in business! Now fans! Telling Steph to shut the f**k up is advice YOU GUYS should be practicing!

Rousey as Austin: “Can I get 10 seconds to think about it?”

Stephanie as Vince: “By all means!”

Rousey as Austin: ARM BAR AS THE STUNNER!

NIA JAX: NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!

nia jax oh my dayz

Wait a second – it’s a handicap match? Mickie James & Alexa must combine their force? Why don’t the fans chant…. OH SNAP THEY CALLED ALEXA AN @$$HOLE! WHOA!

IT’S NO HANDICAP! EMBER MOON IS IN THE BUILDING!!!! YES!!!

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SEXY B!TCH! LOOK AT HER! OWWWWWWWWW!

Even better – she hit Alexa Bliss with the Eclipse super move! BEAUTIFUL! LIFE IS GOOD!

Well what do you know?! Nicholas is over with the crowd! BUT Nicholas has school! So They have given up the titles! I was hoping Nicholas was gonna get some pu$$y with those tag titles!

GRANT BODY-P!

NO WAY JOSE is on the house! Yes its that Adam Rose sh!t all over again… I see people complaining on the internet already… come on man it’s party time!

SETH ROLLINS! NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!!!

I don’t know what all that was about thanks to the stream, but it looks like as the Miztourage was gonna take on Finn Balor & Seth Rollins, JEFF HARDY comes out!!! So hmmmm! They not gonna run with that Brother Nero sh!t????

The fans are still singing that stupid song to Bayley? NOT Mandy Rose??? AH CHUPID SONG!!! Mind you I wouldn’t be too happy if the crowd sand ‘Guess Who Loves You More’ to Naomi… even though I would understand!

Holy smokes Paige has finally dropped the R – Bomb… like Undertaker put back on his gloves and his coat and his hat, but Paige is the one who is forced to put down her pale make up in the middle of the canvas… this is the part where I should say ‘Thank You Paige’… but since I was never a fan… I’ll leave that to you guys.

Now if I was Elias I would be careful what I say on that guitar! One false mention of the don of dons and he’s going to be in a box!!!!

The WWE Universe is down with Walking With Elias though!!! Not me though – I’m hip hop to the core!

You know what Elias – dissing the crowd might not help you!

BUMBACLAAAAAAAAAT! BOBBY LASHLEY!!!! HOLY SMOKES!!! HE’S NOT SHUCKING AND JIVIN’! 

You know what Apollo? retreat to Smackdown! It’s not a good look for you kid!

GUNSHOT! “Our tag team division is full, but I heard TNA is hiring…” I can’t believe Kurt said that!!!! THE FIFTH WALL IS BROKEN!

You don’t suppose Vincent Kennedy has brought…. nah it cannot be possible surely?!!!

Heath Slater & Rhyno – you guys are going in a box – THE AUTHORS OF PAIN ARE HERE! Thanks for being WWE superstars… you will be missed…

Here he is! Mr Marmite! The Big Dog! Come on fans! He didn’t retire The Undertaker! Cut him some slack!

Brock Lesnar has re-signed with the World Wrestling Federation! Oh man! And he’s fighting Double R at the Greatest Royal Rumbles! Come on BROCK! I’m only supporting you because I want you to break the 434!

Oh man! Double R has still gotta deal with this dude! Samoa Joe – who has missed TWO WrestleManias on the trot… that’s f**ked up!

See Samoa Joe is running down Reigns calling him a failure… but Reigns could have countered like – yeah it took 6 F5s to put me down! It only took ONE to put you down! Sorry Double R, you made yourself look like a beeeeeattchhh!

GRANT BODY-P!

Bray Wyatt ‘reincarnated’… now he plays second fiddle to Matt Hardy! WOW! What a b!tch!

So, Kurt says if Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn want a job… they gotta fight for it… such is life!

Er… oh no! Neither individual answered the 10 count! Now both are not on RAW either! Maybe ROH are hiring… or New Japan even… that’s not a bad thing? We love the New Japan!

Kami TNA

Commentators acknowledging the possibility that The Miz could go to Smackdown in the shake up (which happens next week) and restarting the beef with Danny Bryan!

Wasn’t it glorious when Jeff Hardy, Seth Rollins and Finn Balor f**ked up the Miztourage! OHHHH WHAT A FEELING!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1294, March 12, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I wanna take this time to big up the newest Facebook wrestling group I am in: The CHAIRSHOT. They are supporting me and the BDSIR NETWORK. I sincerely hope they appreciate the style of blogs I do – This ain’t your usual review blog. I give my thoughts from a Jamaican man’s point of view (which means I don’t take this wrestling sh!t seriously, I use a lot of Hip Hop references, and my aim is to make you laugh. I was born in England of Jamaican descent.) Don’t expect me to talk technicalities in wrestling!

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RAW 1294! JUST LIKE D12, IT’S FIGHT MUSIC!!!

Ok, I got 2 Chicago pizzas in the oven, a Miranda orange drink, and that marvellous Jamaica ginger cake for later… I got a feeling RAW is gonna be a good one!

Right – I’ve missed the first 20 minutes of this sh!t because of the wack streams. I heard Roman Reigns voice but that’s about it… I bet that doesn’t bother the haters!

Sonya Deville fine @$$ fighting Sasha Banks sexy @$$… I won’t put my pizzas on yet…

Now this Kid Rock guy… I heard he’s not down with the brothers… if that is true then THE GRANT SAYS F**k you Kid Rock! However, he did one thing that I can respect – that is – provide that American Bad Ass tune for The Undertaker when he returned in 2000. All that Judgment Day is now business? It was such a feel good moment after Triple Teef and his crew were beating down The Rock every week…

ARE YOU SCARED? HE’S HERE! HIS JUDGMENT DAY IS NOW!!! THAT IS SOME GOOSEBUMP SH!T! THE MCMAHON HELMSLEY FACTION GOT F**KED UP! AAAH GOOD TIMES!

I am so f**ked off with this stream – I gotta catch up on YouTube in the morning.

…and so I wake up and find that rapper Craig Mack has passed away…muthaf***a!

Can we get a 10 bell salute to Craig Mack?

We gotta keep it moving y’all, so I’m on the YouTube… and I click on the Sonya Deville Vs Sasha Banks match, and straight away there is a warning about its content… er… does one of them lose their top or something? Do we accidentally see Sasha’s pum-pum when her leg is hooked for the three??

LET’S GO IN!!!

All I saw was Bayley helping Sasha win her match against Sonya because Absolution was gonna teef, then after the match they rushed Sasha, by which time Bayley already left the building! The plot thickens!

I didn’t see anything offensive… DID YOU?

YES! The Fabulous Moolah Battle Royal! It’s funny how we were talking about this on the JAMMS Podcast and what Fabulous Moolah has done, good and bad,  hey none of us are perfect… my early pick to win? CARMELLA. F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S… get it? Nah? ok let;s keep it moving…

The Miz trying to work brain as usual to turn Seth Rollins and Finn Balor against each other… I’m just waiting for both of them to get up and kick down The Miz in his mouth corner!

Seth told him to shut up on his own show! Can he do that?

Uh-oh! Seth & Finn look like they are gonna go at it! Look at The Miz’s face! He’s loving this!!! I’ve never seen him look so happy ever since he put it in Maryse!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO THEY CLOCKED HIM! SMILE GONE!!!!

Miz tried to run but he got ketch! Finn Balor box him down! But forgotten for a split second Seth Rollins is still there!

So Seth is all about Burning It Down and flames on his attire. Do you think my hero Kane taught him how to set things on fire by just using his hands?

So Alexa Blitch believes that Asuka chose Charlotte because she knew she would ‘lose’ her? CALLING MY NXT EXPERTS! Did Asuka & Alexa clash back at Full Sail University??? Answers on a postcard please! TWEET ME @MZATheInfamous!

I don’t like how this Alexa Blitch is talking to Asuka!

WRESTLING FANS ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE – EXHIBIT A! we don’t need to go to NXT! Go back to Jan 1, 2018!!!!

Technically Asuka is eligible for a title shot against Alexa! Asuka could make history, beat Alexa, go to Smackdowns, beat Charlotte at WrestleMania and hold two titles at once! But of course WWE is not gonna clock on to that sh!t!

“To be the woman, you gotta BEAT THE WOMAN”!

Translation… Alexa is NO WOMAN. She is just a LITTLE B!TCH! And Charlotte is ALL WOMAN let me tell ya!

GRANT BODY-P!

Asuka speaks the truth! “I beat you before! I beat you AGAIN!” There’s the evidence up there!

If I was Asuka I’d just kick down Alexa word up!

Mickie James went in against Asuka, but she missed the Mick Kick – got caught with the Asuka Lock – TAP OUT!!! Mickie was crying for Alexa as if Alexa was her moms!!!

Alexa Bliss bex! So what does she do? disrespect Nia Jax… and WWE go and feed some funny looking out of shape jobber to get killed!

OH NO! Someone is on that GTV sh!t! Alexa and Mickie running down Nia! DISRESPECT!

Next week Asuka faces Alexa! But watch this – either that match is not gonna happen, or Nia is gonna jump in and Alexa gonna get F**KED UP!!! If I was Alexa b!tch @$$ I wouldn’t attempt to come to work next week!

Tag Team Battle Royal winner fights The Bar at the WrestleMania!

Wait a minute! BRAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!! He can’t enter this? (Then again maybe he can – he has the strength of 10 men and a tag team consists of 2…saying that Braun is a ONE MAN FACTION!!!)

It cracks me up every single time when Braun runs after his opponent! It’s the scariest run ever since the T-1000!

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If they cast Braun as the next Terminator – I’m sorry – Arnie would have NO CHANCE! John Connor would be FINISHED! And Alexa Bliss would play as Sarah Connor!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh sheeeeeeeeeeet! Braun just blatantly told Anderson – “I’M GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!” and dashed him out the ring! He’s the #1 contender for the championship! LET THE COMPLAINING ON THE INTERNET BEGIN! Oh wait… you guys like Braun though!!!

WHOA! NEXT WEEK we are gonna see the Ultimate Deletion! NOT WrestleMania! Sounds good to me! Y’all loved the Final Deletion on TNA – I checked it out myself recently… you guys were right – it was so awful that it was entertaining. So don’t complain on the internet saying it’s wack – I EXPECT IT TO BE WACK!

“You have a beautiful family… it would be a shame if something happened to them…” OH MY GOD!!! Wyatt wants to kill little Maxel! he wants to put it n that Reby Sky or whatever her name is! (Yo she is KRISS!!!!) Let’s throw up a picture of her for NO REASON!

Reby Sky

Ok as you have noticed this sh!t is in a different order… let’s get into the nitty-gritty!

Brock is not in the building!!!! UH-OH!!!! LET THE COMPLAINING ON THE INTERNET BEGIN! The WWE Universal Champion must in stitches with Sable!

Double R speaks the truth! If you don’t show up to work? You get FIRED! Back to the Jobcentre! Watching Jeremy Kyle on a weekday followed by Supermarket Sweep!

GRANT BODY-P!

Uh-Oh Roman Reigns is calling out Vincent Kennedy! Aaah sheeeeet it’s gonna be pandemonium on the internet!

Good lord! The cameras followed Double R through the gorilla position to the backstage where Vincent Kennedy & Shane are! Shane can’t be there??? This is not Smackdowns?

“GO TO THE COMMERCIAL!!!!”

Big BIG WrestleMania 34

Clearly this scene with sexy @$$ Renee Young outside Vincent Kennedy’s office and Roman storming out while Vince ‘seemingly fixing his suit’ is ammunition for the internet who believe Vince & Roman have sexual relations… oh man how awkward is this… Yo WWE – you’re not doing any favors here!

With that said – this is straight WrestleMania quality building! Vince guarantees Brock will be here next week! Here’s the twist! Double R is suspended for a hot minute!

Translation – They are keeping Brock and Roman away from each other until the go home show when they can get their ruckus on! DO THE KNOWLEDGE JABRONIES!

Finally Jonathan Cena… I’m sorry to say this Nikki – you are DEFINETLEY NOT GET MARRIED… you gonna be a widow… you gonna be like Hilary Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air… Cena might as well do a bungee jump and his head hit the concrete floor. The way he talked about The Undertaker… NO ONE HAS GONE THERE. Not the Rock, Not CM Punk, Not even Stone Cold Steve Austin… even when Shawn Michaels kicked the 16-1 headstone, this was nothing compared to Cena’s Grown Thuganomics…

 

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Monday Night Raw #1190, March 14, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I really like this part of the year… you know why? Not just because big BIG WrestleMania is coming, but our friends over in the states have turned their clocks forward. That means from now until WrestleMania we can watch RAW an hour earlier. That means all being well, less yawning, more marking out, and if things get a bit stale, there’s always babestation!

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RAW #1190! Have you jabronies finished complaining about Deano Ambrose foot not underneath the rope? You really don’t want Triple Vs Reigns don’t you? ARE YOU THAT RETARDED?

WWF PROPA TINGZWord!!! We just gonna kick off with the World Wrestling Federation tag team titles? The New Day have destroyed the League of Nations on the twitter and the YouTube!

Shout out to Mike Knoxxx of the BDSIR NETWORK…as much as I love the New Day, there are certain aspects of them I DON’T LIKE. The unicorn stupidness on their head, twerking in guys faces, the rainbow on their T-shirts, and the cereal – Booty-Os… don’t get me wrong, it’s fortified with vitamins and iron, good for the kids, but to have kids say – ‘we are eating booty-os doesn’t sit well with me either… very cumse-cumsa tendencies… That’s not right!

Interesting… Xavier Woods is representing for the New Day in this tag team championship contest… I’m a bit nervous here… League of Nations could take it here… because Kofi doesn’t play the trombone! Oh No…

It’s all good! Xavier pinned Rusev and held the tights! New Day still champions but League of Nations bex! They mash-up The New Day! hey guys! The New Day just turned face… and we didn’t notice!

DAMN YOU LEAGUE OF NATIONS!!! But I gotta keep it real…by the LONS beating down the New Day like that, they gotta get that heat back, be relevant again as that destructive heel force. Looks like New Day need a 4th dude to join them! But they dun treated Mark Henry bad… Yo look no further than the Man In the Purple Suit himself! The Infamous Informer wouldn’t mind putting his timberland boots in Wade Barrett’s nose! One condition: I don’t do that booty shaking unicorn sh!t! I’m NOT THAT GUY, I DON’T DO DRUGS!

Unlucky Ambrose… after all you were dealing with TRIPLE TEEEEEEF! He paid the referee off… that’s my story, but I don’t complain about that sh!t… I keep it moving… but aaaaaaah sh!t!!!! That guitar riff! BRRROCCCK LESSSNARRR!!!  Grab the steel chair Deano!

Looks like Deano come prepared! He had a crow bar in his inside pocket! HERE WE GO!!!

Or maybe not… Brock is thinking about it! he doesn’t wanna get cunk in his head top!

Two shell shocks to Sin Cara – BLAOW!!! You don’t think Ryback is eyeballing the US Title???

Well I be damned! Ryback is on some David & Goliath sh!t for the big BIG WrestleMania!

Now what I wanna know is, why does Stephanie McMahon wanna address me? Does she have a steak cooked well done for me? Am I in for what could happen next?

HAPPY STEAK & BJ DAY GUYS! GRANT BODY-P!

Until I see official celebration cards in Clintons, that is NOT an official holiday! That was made up by some fat IWC muthaf***a who can’t get no pu$$y and it was rubbed in his face a month earlier!

Oh no! It is the Attitude era again! Stephanie is in a glorious mood, and Triple is gonna start his promo… I am the game-errrr… I beat Dean Ambrose within an inch of his life-errr, and Stephanie’s gonna cook me a fat steak and give me hed-errr!

Oh man.. Triple is hitting it on the head here with this ‘hope’ sh!t! It’s true – you jabronies had hope that Deano was gonna win… you deluded fools!

HOLY SH!T Triple is going in!!!! GET EM TRIPLE TEEF! I love when he throws shots at you fools! The man is talking about people’s wife and kids! Talking about how they live on hope! I LOVE THIS!

WHOA! TRIPLE TEEF GUARANTEED THAT ROMAN REIGNS WILL FAIL AT WRESTLEMANIA! But why did Dolph Ziggler’s music hit??? Oh well, join John Morrison in your future endeavour fool!

GRANT BODY-P!

“You love Dolph Ziggler right?” Nah not really Triple, I can’t stand the f**ka!

Ok Triple – this Ziggler is getting outta orda & bright… I’m not sure where Stephanie is going with this proposal…

WHOA!!!! Stephanie gonna put Ziggler up against Triple Teef himself! Once again… y’all got hope… ABANDON HOPE! Triple – USE DI HAMMER! I’ve never rooted for Triple so much!

Look how little Renee Young is to the League Of Nations! They just challenged the New Day on some gang warfare business! Yo NEW DAY – HOLLA AT ME! I know Mishima Kung Fu! I have my woman on my side! LET’S DO THIS! Tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

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YES! TEAM BADDER THAN BAD mash-up Brie Bella! But according to Lana, it’s Brie that has beef with her… but enough of that sh!t… when I saw Naomi in that ring… I had to play that Raheem DeVaughn tune again.. or that Torae tune -Override when he says this –

When I’m alone in my room, sometimes I stare at the wall
And think of you pinned against it, we getting it on
While I’m getting you off, I’m on top
You telling me to do everything except stop
We drop and roll, it’s a fire we cannot control
I’m in deep past your cervix and served ‘til I got your soul
Lock and load and then BANG!

Let me guess, Team Bad and Lana Vs Brie, Alicia & Paige at Big BIG WrestleMania? I can ryde to that! Let’s throw a pic of Lana… for NO REASON!

Lana for no reason

YOOOO! Mick Foley passing the torch… or should I say… the 2×4 with barbed wire to Dean Ambrose??? To aid him in his battle against BROCK LESNAR???? Ok if you are not ready for this big BIG WRESTLEMANIA – YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM! SLAP YOURSELF, UNFRIEND ME, UNFOLLOW ME, because clearly, me and you are not on the same wave length! I happen to be more attractive to the women than you as well! My d!ck is bigger than yourrrrrrs!

GRANT BODY -P!

AAAAH SH!T! Here we go! Dolph Ziggler Vs Triple TEEF! If Ziggler wins… he can choose a match of his choice for big big WrestleMania! I should root for Ziggler… but I want Triple to use the hammer!!!!

Big BIG WrestleMania 32 LOGO

Yes Triple! Brukk up Ziggler’s shoulder! Then… UUUUUUUSE DI HAMMER!

Ziggler is fighting valiantly! Stephanie is at ringside! If in doubt Steph, you know what to do!

I told you muthaf***az! ABANDON HOPE! Triple H with the pedigree – BLAOW! Ziggler does not surv- wait a minute! Roman Reigns coming down the stairs – No – he chose the ramp! and Reigns is BEX!!!! He busted Triple Teef open! He’s box him up all over the ring! He was gonna use the TV screen and buss up Triple! But even The Uso brudda and Mark Henry had  to restrain him and told him to let Triple live til WrestleMania! This has to be No disqualification! A normal wrestling contest is no good!

Big ups to Jacqueline! Now in the Hall Of Fame! My moms will be pleased! She used to love Jacqueline! And I love her too!

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Ok lets see where they go with this Jericho & AJ Styles situation… Jericho done bunn up the Y2AJ T-shirt… you better put a stipulation on this muthaf***a!

Oh dear… Jericho is bex that everybody chanting for AJ styles… why can’t Jericho be bex when everyone was chanting for CM Princess Peach B!tch last week?

AJ drops the phenomenal forearm on Jericho – BLAOW! Looks like WWE want to push that as the supermove as opposed to the Styles Clash… not saying it’s banned… but I think WWE want Styles to limit the Styles Clash for special occasions,at least in my estimation.

OH NO! Here we go! Vincent Kennedy believes The Undertaker is his instrument of destruction! Here he comes! OH SH!T! Er… Vince… LEAVE THE RING!

What? Vincent Kennedy just told the Undertaker not to put his hands on him again???!!! Clearly Vince’s 70-year-old @$$ forgot what happened to him in 1998… or 2003 for that matter!

Let’s see what Shane gotta say!

Maybe he said too much! “I might be Vince’s son, but you (Undertaker) are Vince’s b!tch!”

The Undertaker! grabs Shane by the neck! But Shane is quick on his feet! Rights and lefts by Shane! Undertaker feels nothing! Throws Shane back in the corner! Shane still too quick! Vincent Kennedy pushes Shane into Undertaker! CHOKESLAM – BLAOW! Vince likes what he sees! Undertaker snaps his head to Vince! Vince leaves the ring! WISE MOVE! Undertaker, cuts his throat to Vince! OH LAWWWWD!

I don’t care if this match makes sense or not – Shane – kid you gon lose! Y’all muthaf***az wishing for a new era… you gonna get the same sh!t for the next 10 years regardless of the winner!

ABANDON HOPE!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Many Thanks to the Infamous Informer for the use of his excellent scribing

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Monday Night Raw #1188, February 29, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Chris Rock Oscars

CHRIS ROCK – YOU ARE THE F**K!N MAN – OK!!!

This man showed the Oscars how to do it in 10 minutes! I wanna shout out to the 5% nation, I respect that you good people see things for what they are and not what they appear to be, I saw your comments regarding Chris Rock’s opening monologue… but can’t you just laugh and clap along for once??!!!!

As far as I’m concerned, Chris Rock is DA MAN. Kevin Hart cannot touch him I’m sorry, then I tyrn my attention to wrestling fans – Mick Foley is funny I give him that on stand up, but he cannot touch Chris Rock, nor can Dolph Ziggler, none of those wrestlers you watch when they do stand up. Yeah I said it – NONE OF THEM.

You guys marked out last week in my absence, now it’s MY TURN! THE UNDERTAKER IS BACK! I’m team Undertaker… f**k your little brand extension! Anything to get Cesaro over…

GRANT BODY-P!

Dom’t get it twisted – I like Cesaro… but even I gotta side with Vincent Kennedy here – he IS missing something! And that’s REAL!

REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A WEIRDO! DON’T DO IT!

Follow us – ON DI TWITTA – @stc_wwe!

RAW #1188! I might have missed a big RAW last week, I sure ain’t missing this one!

WWF PROPA TINGZI wonder why Rusev is in such a good mood? If anyone can body slam him, they win his Maserati car… YO SIGN ME UP! It’s only Rusev! It’s not like it’s Andre The Giant now is it?

Here he comes… that dirty, that evil… TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!

Now they booing his @$$… they were cheering him last week! Ha! You wrestling fans are fools, you don’t keep it 100-1000 like me, Infamous Informer, GRANT BODY-P!

Nashville crowd chanting for Roman… WOW! No one challenges authority… but Deano knows NO AUTHORITY!!! After getting battered by Brock Lesnar, Triple ain’t nuthin right?

I’m loving this back and forth sh!t with Ambrose and Triple Teef! I’m just waiting for Ambrose to cheap shot Triple in his big nose! Ambrose wants to challenge Triple for the World Wrestling Federation Championship!

Well Triple is like – you fight Bertie first, then I’ll give you an answer.. see Deano could beat Bertie, and Triple could turn round and say f**k you! I’m the authority, I don’t have to defend my sh!t!

Yo Charlotte is looking fine more and more each day! I’m telling you her Divas Champion wages is been spent wisely on those facials! Grant & Leva

GRANT BODY -P!

Sasha Banks Vs Becky Lynch… winner points to the sign and fights Charlotte! LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

Great technical counter moves by both women here! Bet you’d never hear me say that now would you? As my moms would say, two bad bull meet up!

Look at Ric Flair! With a smile on his face watching the match! Anyone would think he’s watching one of those Brazzer films!

Look pon this now… Sasha hit the sunset flip, and they lying on the mat in a reverse 69 with both shoulders on the canvas… I don’t know why the crowd are chanting Triple Threat for, I could have told you this last week… well I be damned – I DID!

Since the Wyatts are not f**k!n with the Undertaker this year, I have no interest in what Wyatt has to say!

I can tell you one thing I don’t really like about the commentary… they keep talking about ‘WrestleMania Moment’… I mean, now they got fans like ‘where the Mania Moment at?’ ‘Nah man WrestleMania was sh!t, because there was no WrestleMania moments!’ the matches could be off the hook, but if there’s no moments, then the IWC complaining begins!

AAAAH SH!T! Stephanie is gonna bring her speech for her Vincent J. McMahon Legacy of Excellence award! It’s all about that ‘GONG’! If that tolls… Stephanie GET OUT OF THERE!!! He might have one of these prepared for you!

You don’t wanna be on one of those again… DO YOU STEPHANIE??

She does look ravishing though GOD DAMN!!! Yo Undertaker get the cross out here!!!

Well… Stephanie’s acceptance speech was heartfelt right? I was hoping for the gong… didn’t get it… so I think I’m gonna tweet my displeasure…. I’ll be back in a bit…

WHO THE F**K DO YOU THINK I AM??? My momma taught me better than that! I’m Not That Guy… I DON’T DO DRUGS!

Shout out to the fan in the crowd with the sign ‘LILLIAN DRIVES ME LOCO!’ You DAMN RIGHT! Let’s get a pic of Lillian and Natalya up here… FOR NO REASON!

Ok Kofi be like your brothers and take off the stupidness off your headtop! Ok New Day are pushing it here! They claim to be more legit than Edge & Christian! Snoop & Dre! Sonic & Tails! Even Grant Body-P & Ghostface Killah!

Now you guys gotta deal with Y2AJ… love to know where this storyline is going… I’m sure the IWC want Styles to be in the main evenyt straight away, because you know, the fans are such great businessmen!!!

GRANT BODY-P!!

That’s it Xavier! When in doubt… send for the trombone! it always works!

OH NO! Kofi just tapped out to the Walls of Jericho! I’m glad Jericho said ‘challenge for the tag titles next week on RAW’… hold up – IN CHICAGO???? Oh no not there… not ther place where they probably got a statue of CM Princess Peach B!tch emblazoned in city where they worship it like a wresssstlingggg…… GOOOOODDDDDDD!

AAAAAH SH!!!!!T! HERE WE GO!!! Huh??? Vincent Kennedy???!!! Well yes that’s cool as well!

Vincent Kennedy is 70 years old… if that gong sounds… I hope Vincent Kennedy got a nappy/diaper on!

He’s the instrument of destruction! But Vince! You don’t have an URN????

Told ya! As soon as the door shut – THAT’S IT! Shane goose cook! er Shane… you better learn that kung fu I saw you doing!

Oh sh!t… er Shane… you won’t be in Vince’s will if you don’t defeat Undertaker! Oh no! What happened to all those businesses you had Shane-O??? Vince is gonna shut down Shane as a biological son! He can’t do that!

In all honesty what an anti climax! I was hoping Undertaker was gonna chokeslam Vince to hell but… he basically said – CHEQUE PLEASE!

Oh boy… there’s gonna be a lot of jabronies complaining on the internet now! But me? I’m better than that. I’m gonna grab a pudding… chocolate cake and custard is the one!

Uh-Oh – Kevin Owens in the house… Mike Cole make sure you call the match and don’t talk about WWE Network, or WrestleMania moments… NONE OF THAT SH!T!

Has Lana took her WWE wages and brought some t!tt!£$??? Don’t make em any bigger than that now!

What do you think guys? Answers on a postcard – tweet me -@MZATheInfamous!

Meanwhile my wife who got away – Naomi needs to beat down that BellaDashian… sorry Brie but your Danny Bryan fighting style is no match for my Naomi!

Naomi with a new submission move and mash up Brie! It looks like CM P**k’s Anaconda Vise! If you muthaf***az start I shall sword swing and lyrically annihilate you! But what is Lana’s beef with Brie??? You don’t suppose we might see Lana fight at WrestleMania???

I think my Smack Talk Centre crew are right when they say – When Deano fights Bertie, the League of Nations will rush Deano, then Triple Teef will come and do the same to Ambrose what he did to Reigns…

Yo Facebook just told me that Meagan Good is live now (at time of this blog)… shall I forget this wrestling sh!t and watch Meagan???

Looks like something is going down at the church where she’s at… but why on a Monday night? Makes no sense… is she gonna get baptised? Or is she baptised already? Answers on a postcard please – TWEET ME!

Bertie is killing Ambrose!!! And that evil motorhead music hasn’t hit yet!

NOW THE EVIL MOTORHEAD MUSIC HAS HIT! And that Triple Teef is loosing his tie!

“You will never beat The Authority Dean”! Next minute Deano boxed Triple in his mouth! throwing lefts and rights! But Triple responds – pedigree – BLAOW! Triple is like – Ok Deano – next week me and you! Deano is like – ‘Thanks Hunter!’ Triple is like – HELL TO THE NAW!! Throws Deano across the announce table and hits the ground and pound on Deano!!!

If you ask me Deano got lucky compared to Roman Reigns! This can work both ways – Brock could interfere and batter Deano, or/and Roman could interfere and attack Triple! Either way… aaaah sh!t – this Road to WrestleMania is looking good! Maybe Undertaker didn’t have to say much in retrospect… Bad man move in silence!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Monday Night Raw #1174, November 23, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Now that your time of the month is over, you got all your complaints out your system, you threw away your wrestling tampons… always the same every month… ‘The PPV was sh!t…Roman didn’t turn heel, I wanted Kevin Owens to be champ, The Wyatts should have beat the Undertaker – they are getting buried… blah blah blah blah blah’ – SHUT THE F**K UP!

I thought you wasn’t watching again? Hey – The Only Way is Essex is THAT WAY! Don’t forget to cancel your WWE Network…

You still here? #WhoeverLosesIWIN, talking of which, Shout out to STC’s Aydenn Wardle! He’s a nice FELLA!

See what I did there? GRANT BODY-P!

RAW #1174! I LOVE THIS WRESTLING SH!T – LET’S GO!

WWF PROPA TINGZI’m actually looking forward to Triple’s opening segment… all he wanted to do was shake Roman’s hand… there was no need for the spear!!!

I notice they haven’t customised Sheamus’ title belt yet… he doesn’t look stupid people – Sheamus looks great with that title!

I thought the one question Sheamus had for these fools was – ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED??? I didn’t expect him to ask -Who looks stupid now?! That is an appropriate question – because Roman Reigns come down the stairs… smiling! And the fans are cheering for him! They booed him the night before? Fickle fools… uh oh.. is Stephanie about to slap Roman Reigns???

Well you know what? Roman always did say to Triple… ‘We gonna have our own game of thrones – Believe That!’ I will always remember that line… but why did Rusev appear out of nowhere and kick down  Roman like that? Sheamus follows up – Brogue Kick to the jaw bone of Reigns – BLAOW!!!!

TLC Jump off – Sheamus the Champion, Vs Roman Reigns the Challenger! Tables Ladders & Chairs match!!! Rather disappointing I thought, I was hoping for The Usos Vs The New Day Vs The Dudley Boys in a Tables Ladders and Chairs match…but I don’t complain on the internet… Ain’t got time for that!

Talking of which… first match – Dudley Boys Vs The Wyatt pu$$y bwoy dem… they were NO MATCH for the Don of Dons and his Brudda!

Ha! The Wyatt bwoy might be able to defeat the Dudley Boyz and mash dem up, but they harvested the Undertaker and Kane’s power and still couldn’t beat them??? They are WEAK!!!! To quote Liu Kang to Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat…

“All those souls and you don’t have one of your own… I pity you sorcerer!”

You wanted Sasha Banks, I wanted Sasha Banks (but Naomi more) HERE SHE IS! Sorry Becky Lynch fans! But hey, shades of NXT Takeover though right?WWE2K16 GRANT BODY -P!

I should really call the match but that Naomi… apart from my real-life lady – Naomi is everything I want in a woman…

You know what I love about Sasha though? She loves her video games too, I see her out there on the UpUpDownDown channel on YouTube controlled by The New Day…but I bet she couldn’t beat my woman at Need For Speed Undercover…and I’m sure she cannot test me once I don the Purple Suit in Tekken because after all… I am HIM you don’t see my picture???

Sasha Banks – STILL undefeated on RAW!!! Is it her time come the TLC jump off? Uh Oh… don’t tell me that Ugly Paige still thinks she is still in line? She claims Charlotte’s arms were underneath the bottom rope when she executed her figure 8 super move… What sort of sh!t is that??? She rolls the footage and I’m sorry, if I was the ref – I would let that off – how the f**k are you gonna control your arms when in a submission move like that? You know what Charlotte – if it means you gotta f**k up Paige again – I’m all for it!

OH NO!!!!! The New Day are starting their Country Music Jamboree Open Tag Team Championship Challenge? If this is aiming to diss country music I’m all for it because most of those country music artists support the confederate flag… NO ONE LISTENS TO THAT SH!T!!

OH SH!T!!!! The New Day are going in!!! COUNTRY MUSIC IS WACK!!!!

Lucha Dragons have accepted the challenge!! LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

Hold the brakes! Uso Brudda want to accept the challenge too! I think New Day are trying to get out of it!!!

OH NO! You can’t cancel the Open Challenge??? I thought these titles were the symbol of excellence? (that’s the US title Grant) is it??? Aww shucks…

WHOA! Mark Henry & Neville had a wrestling contest, Henry lost, and Neville wasn’t inducted in the Hall of Pain??? Yo Neville… you gonna make it! YOU GOING TO THE TOP! I just don’t know when…

GRANT BODY-P!

This is interesting… Stardust and Goldust are on seperate teams… Stardust riding with the Ascension and Goldust riding with the Primetime Players… I remember Goldust saying he had no desire to fight his brother… and I think they did, but the match fell flat and was quickly forgotten. Sure it was a pre-show or something – what was it? Tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

It’s gonna interest me what that fool Colter gotta say about the state of MexAmerican Address…

If this is so MexAmerica, why can’t Bertie & Zeb get that belt customised? The MexAmerican championship? Damnit creative what’s holding you back? Is it the Irish Madman who my radio co-host Shadfather calls Vincent Kennedy?

I was wondering when Wack Swagger was gonna show up and re-ignite his rivalry with Bertie, just don’t get drink/weed driving okay fool?

GRANT BODY-P!

The truth of the matter is this – Zeb left yo @$$ Swagger because you failed to defeat the Super Athelete Rusev, and Rusev proceeded to break Zeb’s legs, and Swagger let that happen! Obviously Swagger forgot about that sh!t… but that doesn’t mean I’m now a Zeb Colter fan – FAR FROM IT!

So here we go, the rematch for the World Wrestling Federation Divas Championship… Paige face it 0 you can’t manage Charlotte… by the way – how long has Charlotte held the champonship for now? Just over two months right?

Come on Charlotte… now is your time… THIS Is your destiny! BREAK PAIGE’S LEGS!!!

Big ups to Charlotte – she respects Paige as a competitor… You know I don’t know if even I can give Paige credit for that… the day she dissed my sexy, beautiful and dangerous Naomi… she sealed her fate.

I LOVE THAT MOVE BY CHARLOTTE! She catches Paige in the haed scissors, and flips Paige around like a suplex using her legs three times! Wicked move!

Paige & Charlotte are putting on a technical wrestling clinic here! But check it – y’all didn’t like that sh!t at the Survivor Series. I thought you wanted wrestling right? That’s why I can’t f**k with the so-called hardcore wrestling fans…

…and they are probably complaining that the match ended in a double count out on the internet, yeah like mark Zuckerberg can help them… he doesn’t give a f**k… he’s sitting in his mansion with b!tches saying CHING CHING!!!

GRANT BODY -P!

Somebody tell me why Heath Slater is wasting my and your time apppearing on TV? Do I have to post up another babestation pic???

Maybe I won’t need to! Ryback just woke up.. it’s feeding time! Slater tries to crack the Ryback with the guitar… it had NO EFFECT! Counterattack – Shell Shock to SLATER – BLAOW!!!!

Up next… Deano and Ziggler team up Vs Battyman Breeze and the World Wrestling Federation Twitter Champion – Kevin Owens! Check this in the latest in his series of putting dumb fans on blast!

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I don’t know whether to watch this match… because of Deano and Owens, I am 50% interested… the other 50%… wants to see Kandi Kay again…

GRANT BODY-P!

Main event jump off! Rusev Vs Roman Reigns! So hold on, I gotta make modifications on WWE2K16 now right? Sheamus & Rusev, they as good as Authority now! Remember back at WrestleMania 26? Sheamus and Triple Teef had beef? Look at em now… WOW!

You know this is straight TEEF when Sheamus is there constantly clapping down Reigns everytime he’s on the outside, the ref clocked it and now Sheamus has to leave the building!

It all comes together now! Why did Barrett come and teef? Because we got a Eurovision Union between Rusev, Barrett and Sheamus! Roman Reigns cannot overcome this??? WWE2K16 people… put these three together, Call em The Eurovision B!tches!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Monday Night Raw #1171, November 2, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I wanna give a BIG SHOUT OUT to Jerry the King Lawler. That man is officially indestructible. He was calling a match, then he had heart attack, and Lawler defeated death. Most recently he was in a car accident. The man emerged with not one scratch pon him. Defeated death again! You think he’s somehow related to that Hayden Panettierre cheerleader girl in Heroes? I’m sure he has had dirty thoughts about her… she’s young after all…

GRANT BODY – P!

We are celebrating 25 years of the Don of Dons! Shout out to WWE.Com who got the divas all dressed up in sexy Undertaker like wear! Throughout this week’s blog you will see the divas in their ‘Undertaker’ gear… GOD DAYUUUUM!!!

RAW #1171! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

wwf logoYo I got that new WWE2K16! On PS3 though. Because PS4 costs too much!!! People – I put it like this – it’s an eyelash BETTER than WWE2K14 on last gen, which means WWE2K15 is straight garbage! Take that sh!t back to the store and trade the sh!t in! I have it on good authority that the PS4/XBoxOne versions are brilliant. COP YOURS NOW!!!

Let’s start this sh!t! Uh-Oh… Roman Reigns! Please Roman, don’t talk longer than 5 minutes! Just be straight up, tell Seth Rollins you’re gonna beat out his blodclart, then go back up the stairs!!!

He actually took my advice!!! Well done Reigns! That’s all you need!

Forget what Rollins said, he was actually gonna go down and test Reigns! But the Authority just had to show up… but that’s ok..that Stephanie… sexy f**ka!!!!

AAAAAH SH!T! We gonna have a Survivor Series jump off on RAW? Team Rollins Vs Team Reigns! WHAAAT! But why have I got this feeling Team Rollins gonna teef and brukk up Roman’s team before the match even happens? Then Reigns gotta run the gauntlet? Will we see Triple Teef sing Another One Bites The Dust again?

Talking of the video above, Dolph Ziggler is set for action… now he got this beef going with Tyler Breeze, the new battyman of the WWE. Yes, Ziggler has passed the baton on! Tyler Breeze, a man of phenomenal skill, is wearing frilly boots, loves himself, and wears pink wrestling tights. Sorry guys… that’s GAY!

Ziggler fighting Owens… oh dear… it will be a great contest, but Ziggler cannot withstand Owens pop-up powerbomb super move!

Ziggler leg mash-up though… Come on Owens – Charlie Horse that muthaf***a! KILL HIM!!! And KILL TYLER BREEZE while you’re at it!

And another thing – Tyler Breeze taking selfies – that’s GAY as well – yeah I said it! Now in the Smack talk Centre we have a dude who takes selfies – We call him #MrSelfie, but he doesn’t act like he loves himself and sh!t! He takes selfies with his fans!

I will say that is OUTTA ORDA & Bright what Breeze did, Ziggler all f**ked up on the canvas and Breeze taking selfie right by him! HE CAN’T DO THAT!

You know what I don’t understand, if you wrestling fans love Cesaro so much, why is it that there is a small Cesaro section in every arena and not the capacity crowd? Doesn’t sound logical to me…

Now Stardust & The Ascension are running around with ‘Stardust Section’ banners over their head too… these Ascension guys have lost direction, they are supposed to be official bad men who strike fear into every tag team! Now no-one is scared of these guys!

I knew that WACK Swagger would get involved in this Del Rio/Colter sh!t… didn’t I tell you that last week? At least the ignited feud has given Swagger something to do…

Now Zeb – don’t talk about my Canadian people like that (“I’d ask the Canadian people to join us if they were not so simple-minded”) Just because you now supporting Bertie… does not mean I like you – I DON’T! I keeps it real – if the Infamous Informer don’t like you – then damnit – HE DON’T LIKE YOU! Whether you turn face or heel!

Check it – WWE are promoting Batista and his new James Bond movie! We have not seen the last of he who despite the fact he’s a Wu-Tang Fan, insists on wearing skinny jeans and funny looking Bluetista attire!

FOR REAL!!! NOW INDIA have the WWE Network???!!! I gotta say WWE how could you disrespect Cena’s most loyal fans like that? By acquiring India, revenue is gonna go through the roof with John Cena (or should I say Jhon Chyena) as the most watched superstar on the network! UK fans – APOLOGISE to WWE – we acted like spoilt brats when we wanted our network!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OH HELL 2 THE NO!!! That blubbering potato stick in his beard Wyatt has teefed Undertaker and Kane’s powers??!! He can summon Thunder, Lightning & Fire??? He’s DONE IT NOW!!!!

But since Undertaker is due on Smackdown next week in the UK, I love to see how this plays out! But The GRANT SAYS THIS: NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWER…

OH NO!!!! Looks like Team Rollins is complete! joining Rollins: Kevin Owens, and The New Day! Once again – the New Day killed me! They used the Power of Positivity on Seth Rollins and guess what – IT WORKED! Rollins is there, dancing to the New Day Trombone! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Roman Reigns team is yet to be completed… but we don’t need to worry about that – it’s time for the laydeez!!!

Winner faces Charlotte at the Survivor Series joint! It is painfully obvious who is gonna win, so I’m gonna back Sasha, because she is Team B.A.D. and that’s how it goes!

YES! LOVE IT! Sasha kicked Paige out the ring and said “That’s right! This is MY HOUSE now!” TELL HER SASHA!!!

I love Sasha as much as the next man, but I’m gonna keep it real. Why does Sasha look like she bleached her skin? Answers on a postcard – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Sasha is fine but Naomi is still the sexiest woman on the roster – YEAH I SAID IT!

Meanwhile Becky Lynch is getting it in and beating out Paige’s blodclart!

Did Becky just… did she just drop a triple super plex on Paige, Sasha and Brie from the top? I think she did! That was off the hook!

Brie dropping the Yes kicks, Sasha issuing everybody Bank Statements, but that b!tch Paige hit Becky with the Ram-Paige super move… damnit!!! But was it surprising? Of course it wasn’t! Time for Charlotte to KILL the Anti-Diva once and for all!!

REPRESENTING TEAM REIGNS! Roman, Deano, The Ryback, and THE USOS! They’re BACK!! Roman called to his family!!! Now this Survivor Series match can jump off!

Look at Xavier running off his mouth like ‘I GOT THIS!’ – BLAOW! A ‘super kick’ in Xavier’s jawbone! Oh dear, the suoer kick is not sacred anymore… but let’s be real, there was a unique way how HBK did it.. he personalised that move. You were all jerking off when Ziggler did it and you named him the next HBK! So to that I say – SHUDDUP!

Oh dear the Power of Positivity is not working for The New Day! Kingston has been eliminated! Big E kicked in the door and hit the Big Ending Super Move on Jey Uso – BLAOW! He’s eliminated!

Jimmy Uso, with ANOTHER super kick to Big E, The remaining table saving member finds himself on the outside, Jimmy goes Uso Crazy, but runs right into a pop-up powerbomb from Owens – BLAOW!! Back Brukk!!

Ryback responds… Shell shock to Big E!!!

Rollins jumps in. Pedigree! The PEDIGREE to The Ryback!

Owens & Rollins teaming up and ,mashing up Ambrose, but they failed to realise that Lunatics have the strength of 10 men! Dirty Deeds to Owens – BLAOW!!! Now the tables are turned! Only Rollins left! He can’t take the pressure, so he thought f**k it – Steel chair to the gut of Ambrose – a shot to the back of Roman Reigns – I’m out this b!tch!

You may not like that but it masks who could possibly win in the title match… and that’s the science behind that! But Deano – talk to your girl – she took it upon herself to let us drool over her!

 

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

 

Monday Night Raw #1157, July 27, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

I am him: Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw, GRANT BODY -P! I will tell you straight up and down – I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT HULK HOGAN. Only exception is if it’s in relation to this week’s RAW. I’m already sick of the sh!t over the weekend.

But that Terminator WWE2K16 though!!!! First thing on payday I’m taking my backside to GAME and pre-ordering that sh!t! I can’t see what the problem is with you gaming/wrestling nerds, you want special characters in games but you complain? Oh yeah I forgot, I don’t like your kind anyway!

If the crowd chant for Hogan, I won’t hold it against them. But after that, y’all gotta let it burn. RAW #1157: HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZYou watch, I’m in effect live this week and Brock Lesnar & Undertaker are not at RAW. It would be just my luck.

…and how does the show start? With the evil one himself – TRIPLE TEEEF!!! I am the gamerrrr…. I couldn’t control the situationerrrrrrr, I can’t get to the point in 20 minuteserrrrrr!!!

The rumours are true rude boy!!!! Summerslam 4 hours – GOD DAMN!!!! RILEY’S WOLVERHAMPTON – GET READY!!!!

What? More announcements? Ok Dean Ambrose Vs Big Show I can ride to that, Sasha Banks Vs Paige – Show her who the boss is Sasha! And Randy Orton Vs Kevin Owens??? Bellas Vs Charlotte/Becky? Big wrestling matches ah gwarn!

Seth Rollins – don’t expect me to stand up and say you’re the greatest champion of all time, you didn’t fight Undertaker & Brock Lesnar therefore…. you’re ONE OF the greatest pu$$!£$ of all time!

You just insulted John Cena my dude! OH SH!T – Cena paid his dues in the apology tour! He wants #16!!!! I support this! I’m all for upsetting the IWC!!!!

YES MOVEMENT for Cena Vs Rollins for the WWE title? No? Stephanie just trolled us all! God damn you woman! Go and kiss dog!

GRANT BODY-P!

But Cena gotta defend his US Title against Rollins? Looks like the apology tour continues! I can ride to that! Backing Cena all the way! Cena successfully defends… I called it last week – Title for Title at Summerslam – REMEMBER I TOLD YA!

I though Ambrose was on some Eddie Guerrero sh!t – untying Big Show’s laces then taking out his legs! It was purely strategy to recoup…

Remember back in the days? When Big Show used to do the chokeslam and that would be it?

Yo Miz – keep telling yourself you’re the baddest muthaf**a in the WWE – f**k around and the glass will smash! I know somebody who you tell you different!

OHHH SNAP!!!!! Ambrose went for the suicide dive, and landed right into Big Show’s fist – PPPPPPPP! Ambrose ain’t making the ten count f**k that!

And even after all that, Ambrose got to his feet, Big Slow was gonna finish him… Ambrose sidestep – BOOM – right into the barricade!

For real???? Fandango is still alive???? Oh well he ain’t now… Neville just settled him with the Red Arrow… What’s Stardust beef with Neville??? Does he fancy him or something??? I think Stardust thinks a Red Arrow is one of those Ice lollies you get from the ice cream man…..

OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Paige’s team don’t want none of B.A.D…. sh!t I DO!!! I want all of that Sasha, I want that Tamina roughness, and I want Naomi to drop squats on my c-MZA DAYWALKER 2

SOMEBODY GET HIM OUTTA HERE!!!!

You see this is why Grant is not a Paige fan, she got Charlotte and Becky Lynch wearing ‘This Is My House’ shirts… they don’t have a team name, so it’s still all about Paige… mannn… f**k that b!tch!

LET’S GO SASHA!! Kill her! Destroy her completely!

You will see… in months to come, Paige gonna f**k over Becky and Charlotte… remember I told ya!

Aaaah sh!t why the ref throw out the women at ringside? What is he gay too? If that was me, I’d send for a next referee and I’ll go away with Charlotte, Becky, Naomi & Tamina! Me and them four would have a REAAAL good time!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

YES! MY GIRL SASHA HIT PAIGE WITH THE BANK STATEMENT!!! Whose house is it now b!tch!!! That’s what’s up!

For real Rusev? You gonna get Summer Rae a dutty dawg? Good idea Rusev call the dog – Dolph Ziggler! That’s a great name!

He got Summer Rae a dead fish??? Oh my days – he’s tryna say Lana pu$$y smells??? OUTTA ORDER & BRIGHT!

Pushing the boundaries are we Triple Teef??

OH NO! Lana kick down Summer Rae! and rub her face in the fish! You know what Lana’s tryna say right???

GRANT BODY – P!

Haha I just love when Rusev is cussing! Face it Rusev – you want Summer Rae to dress like Lana on some Action Bronson biting Ghostface style and sh!t – admit it – Summer Rae was just the consolation prize!

What I wanna know is, why are muthaf***az concerned about Axelmania? The Grant says – F**K AXELMANIA! AxelMania is dead, and in its death, long live the DAYWALKER!!! GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ok – a lil mathematics – last week, Los Matadores beat the PTP, I thought that makes them #1 contenders… this week Lucha Dragons beat Los Matadores… both matches had The New Day causing the distraction… is it me or do I smell a Fatal Four Way match at Summerslam? Come on! Throw the Tables, Ladders and the Chairs in there let’s do this!!! (Oh sh!t am I asking too much? I better get my mind out the attitude era!)

For real Wyatt? You just gonna say that the parents don’t love their kids? Well at least he isn’t speaking cryptically…he’s gotta point though, the police don’t protect us… they wanna destroy us because they can and get away with it…

Wyatt gonna digress about some pet… I guess he’s talking about Luke Harper coming back to him… yeah yeah where’s the Shield??? Come down the stairs!!!

I guess the Shield can’t be bothered… lets continue the Divas revolution! See I like Becky & Charlotte, I hope they brukk up the Bellas.. it’s that Paige I’m not a fan of!

…and while they come down the ramp and get ready for their contest against the Bellas, check this exclusive interview that MIKE KNOXXX and GRANT BODY – P interviewed, the beautiful, sexy, don’t take no sh!t, former Tough enough competitor – Gabi Castrovinci! Don’t just look at her and wank off… CLICK THE PIC NUH MAN!!!!

11693889_10206409570616322_7326486061945163969_n247 days??? COME ON NIKKI!!! You can do it girl! If you don’t make it, I won’t be mad though… divas division stepped up!

I got this feeling somewhere down the road Triple gonna give Gabi a tryout anyway… he sees that uniqueness in her… You see? Winning Tough Enough ain’t sh!t!

OH SNAAAP! Becky Lynch use the DISARMOUR super move! Alicia Fox tapped out like a b!tch! Alicia in my bad books too!

Sheamus at ringside while Kevin Owens and Randall fight? Hmmm I think we know who gonna win this one! Unless of course Cesaro finds himself out here!

See Randall ain’t like John… Randall is more of that dark hero sh!t… Randall will f**k you up – Cena won’t!

Sheamus – you do realise I was sitting there waiting for you to interfere in  that match… so what stipulation you and Randall gonna have???

I knew Cesaro would get involved but it didn’t work out too well for him – pop-up powerbomb – BLAOW!!! Try again kid!

Ok main event time! John Cena Vs Seth Rollins! COME ON CENA!!! What – you thought Cena was gonna be in mid-card forever??? YOU DUMB RARSE!!!

Quote of the week – “If you’re a champion your ego should be out of control… look at Floyd Mayweather… he’s out of control… he’s never been beat…” (JAY-BEE) Let’s be real – from time Big Show couldn’t manage Mayweather, my dude Pacquiao couldn’t take him back in May! Yo Mayweather haters… you gotta make it burn!

Oh dear! Seth Rollins hit the Tiger Knee right into Cena’s nose – BLAOW!!! That should have been a Mortal Kombat X-Ray moment! Yeah the crowd would chant ‘This Is Awesome!’ because Cena nose brukk up!!!!

Go on muthaf***a, tell me this wrestling thing is fake…. oh that would be you CM Princess Peach B!tch!! That’s why I lost respect for that fool! And Cena just beat Rollins with a f**ked up nose!!! YES CENA!!! The respect I once had for CM Pnuk… is now handed over to Cena! What you gonna do now Rollins? You gotta defend your title at Summerslam!!! (Why have I got this feeling Rollins gonna get away again??? Either that or Sheamus cashes his cheque against Cena and win???

Quality wrestling contests, no sign of Undertaker & Brock (as I thought,) and no Hogan chants! WOW! maybe there is hope for humanity!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1156, July 20, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Wrestling Blog logo

FOR REAL??? FOR REAL?????? The Don of DONS???!!!! The last time Undertaker made a crazy return like that was Judgment Day 2000. Crowd went nuts. Now, to those select few who booed that moment because they wanted to see a traditional title match… first off, SHUT THE F**K UP. Second. SHUT THE F**K UP. Third, WRESTLING IS STORYLINE. I would do the knowledge for you now but I won’t get into that – wait until this week’s STC From The UK show on BDSIR NETWORK.

Suddenly Summerslam is gonna be OFF THE HOOK! I am him – Infamous Informer – Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw – The man in The Purple Suit – Grant Body – P!! RAW #1156: HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZFOR REAL VIRGIN MEDIA? You know my boy is on, and you just gonna cut me off like that? Here’s my £53.55 muthaf***a – now go and get yourself some chips with yo’ broke @$$!

SOURCE: WWE.COM / YOUTUBE

OOOOH SH!T!!!!! THE DON OF DONS IS HERE! Talk about breaking the 11th Commandment, Brock Lesnar broke the streak – THE ULTIMATE HOLY GRAIL. Shattered people’s childhoods… to this present day, my fellow Undertaker fans will not let it burn… maybe they have a reason.. because Undertaker gonna use fist and fire to f**k up Brock & Paul Heyman!

I knew Heyman should have shut the f**k up after last year’s WrestleMania… I knew it… I tried to warn him…

It’s only logical right? Ever since the streak brukk… NO ONE CAN BEAT HIM… and since Rollins never pinned Lesnar, since Reigns never became that guy as originally intended, It’s down to ONE MAN to conquer the conqueror… the Don of DONS himself!

MAN OR BEAST: YOU WILL REST IN PEACE!!!

Granted no one asked for this rematch but when you do the knowledge it was YOU THE FANS who wanted certain things, and with that…. Lesnar’s blood is in YOUR HANDS!SAM_3844

We got team B.A.D. (My team…) Team Bella (just supporting the 300 days… we still going y’all!!!) so.. er… what’s your team Paige? Don’t tell me it’s Team Paige??? YO Charlotte, Becky… TALK TO YO GIRL!!!

Haha Brie on that Yes! Kick flex! She might as well have all of Danny’s move set because we won’t be seeing him for a while! At least Danny said he WILL return… Wrestling fans – GET YOUR SH!T RIGHT – DON’T BELIEVE EVERY WEBSITE YOU READ FOOL!

Damn Brie??? Is Sasha that fine that you gotta blow a kiss to her??? I mean I don’t blame you but Danny don’t get down like that…. BUT I DO!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Damn That figure 8 super move will f**k up a b!tch real quick!!!! Congratulations Charlotte… I don’t think Brie can give birth after that!

I GOT IT! That team will be Team IWC B!tches!!! It makes sense! That’s the team the IWC will back in general. They ‘hate’ the Bellas, they could care less about Naomi/Tamina/not so much Sasha… so that’s where the ‘brothers’ come in! We like ALL the women, (Paige not so sure) but we WILL BACK THE BOSS! We WILL BACK THE SNUKA LEGACY! we WILL BACK NAOMI’S @$$ UP!

FOR REAL PTP??? You mean you defeated the New Day at Battleground but cannot best Los Matadores? Do you realise what you’ve done? Los Matadores get a title shot at your @$$£$! And the New Day are laughing and doing the two-step about it!

Good call by WWE to take off the I.C. title match to showcase the divas, and put Big Show Vs The Miz on Raw instead on RAW….

Wait a minute…. no…..NO!!!! That’s 500lbs of steaming monkey crap on the top ropes!!! Miz get outta there! Think about your family!! Maryse!!! cover your eyes! Elbow drop off the top ropes by the Big Show – BLAOW!!!!!! I don’t ever recall Big Show ever doing that…. EVER!!!!!!

Big Show says he’s going to Tough Enough to punch all the contenders (minus the laydeez) through school buses!!! THE GRANT SAYS – Those who got eliminated early are the lucky ones!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh sh!t – Paul Heyman has chosen not to shut the f**k up! And you know what? That is a GOOD THING! Nothing like listening to one of the promo kings of this sh!t! Wait til WWE put together the promo vid for this, or rather, wait til DELBUSTO puts it together!

YOU CAN SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL, BUT YOUR @$$ BELONGS TO BROCK LESNAR!!!

Holy sh!t!!!! I think the creative team got it right this time!

Look at Heyman’s face!!! (0:45) Damn that is mean!!!!!

OH SH!T!!!!! What happened to your mean mug Heyman???!!! The Undertaker gonna f**k you up after all that sh!t talking!!

PLEASE! I HAVE CHILDREN!!!

Do you realise Paul I am cracking up at my university right now!!! How does Undertaker keep a straight face???!!!

BECAUSE HE’S THE UNDERTAKER!!

(BROCK’S MUSIC HITS) Wait a minute – Mike Cole – JBL – you supposed to call the action! Not run off! I’m tweeting Vincent Kennedy right now!!! (Or maybe not… I’d do the same thing! ME GARNE!!!)

SH!T! Triple Teef is bringing the security!!! LET THEM FIGHT!!! THIS IS PERSONAL!!!

THE UNDERTAKER! BROCK LESNAR!!! BEATING DOWN THE SECURITY! MUTHAF**K!!!!!

The Security is not enough! Triple Teef! Calling for the locker room!

How the f**k did Brock escape all those stars and get The Undertaker like that!!! Yo this is one of those moments where I want the Undertaker to soar over the ring!!!!

BROCK: I’M GONNA KILL YOU!

UNDERTAKER: YOU GONNA HAVE TO!

…and Virgin Media denied me of watching this???? What was that Nathan Webb? Undertaker should retire??? GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! JR WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL OVER THAT SEGMENT RIGHT THERE!!!

Now back to normality – (if you can call it that…) It’s the Wyatt man dem Vs The Shield Part II…Ladies favourite Roman Reigns Vs Luke Harper… Wyatt ain’t got his rocking chair no more, Ambrose at Ringside. Just shows how wrestling fans love to read – getting angry at WWE doing Brock Vs Roman Reigns as the main event… hahahaah you b!tches! Wyatt is still on that ‘Anyone But Reigns’ deal… so with that said, who is gonna be Seth Rollins opponent at Summerslams???

This wrestling contest has turned into a brawl as well! Come on Triple – get in there – call the Calvary!!!

Er…. John Cena???? UH-OHHHH!!! I like this!!!! I bet the IWC hate it!!! Calling it now – Champion Vs champion – Winner Takes All, which means that Cesaro won’t get pushed… ohh BOO-HOO!!! SHUDDUP!!! Ooooooh who shall I back??? Maybe I should back Cena…. go for the 2nd Ultimate Holy Grail – 16 TIME WORLD CHAMPION!!! Imagine that!!!

#WhoeverLosesIWIN!

Time for more laydeez action! Team IWC b!tches Vs Team B.A.D.! Where’s my purple suit…

The MAN in the PURPLE SUIT!

Come on Team B.A.D. Show them how to do it! The Grant Says, I think they should make Team W.A.M. consisting of Natalya, Layla and…er let me think… Emma maybe? initials stand for W.hat About. Me!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Did Becky just try a RVD Rolling Thunder to tag Paige and it epic failed??? HAHAHAHA! COME ON SASHA!!!

Sasha hits the Back Stabber, goes in to the Bank Statement submission move locked in on Paige! TAP YOU B!TCH!!!! TAP!

YES!!!! That’s my girl!!!! Where’s your revolution now Paige? Ha! Team IWC B!tches!!!

(Note: I got love for Charlotte & Becky Lynch… not sure if I like Becky’s surname….)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Maybe you gotta hold fire on the main event for Summerslam Grant… you got Kevin Owens, Sheamus and Rusev Vs Cena, Cesaro, and Randall in 6 man tag team action… lets see where this goes…

OH SNAP!!! Owens knocks Sheamus off the apron! Sheamus don’t like that sh!t! He’s like f**k you Owens! I’m taking this briefcase and going to my yard! Ha – kids!!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Owens got no one to tag because Summer Rae suck!n Rusev d!ck!!!

OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Oh dear!! Owens don’t like that Rusev was getting hed at ringside and kicks him down! Suddenly the words FINISH HIM! Arise over Rusev’s head… OHHH SH!T!!!

WTF – I didn’t notice that Summer Rae was biting Lana’s clothing! Summer Rae wants to rock the blouse & skirt??? Looks nice but your body is not tight like Lana!!!

Did you perverts get another shot of Lana’s panties??? Damn… I pity you wrestling fans!

…and Lana fixing her blouse & skirt after she fights…. I LOVE IT!

Cena hit the AA/FU on Rusev! Cesaro, picks up Rusev by the legs and swings him around! Catapult into the RKO – BLAOW!!!! RUSEV DEAD NOW!!

Did you like that wrestling fools? Cesaro in the main event is like a British Heatwave – make the most of that sh!t now – it only lasts two days!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…and Undertaker & Brock are STILL FIGHTING!!! Oh man this has to be some unsanctioned sh!t by WWE for Summerslam! You can’t possibly tell me that they can book them in a normal @$$ singles match??? This is FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!!

Now Triple H… Don’t do anything stupid like drop a Zero Tolerance clause on this sh!t… mind you it would work for Undertaker… GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1149, June 1, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

On this day… I see clearly…. actually I learned a few things:

1: No matter how many jobs and interviews you apply for, if you don’t apply for the ones the DWP give you, they take away your benefits.

2: WrestleMania 31 was released on this day. I copped it, and watched it with family. The way they enjoyed it reminded me THAT is how to enjoy wrestling. Not that sh!t you IWC B!tches do – watch it, look out for botches, anything negative, hoping for 5* matches…. F**K all that sh!t!

3: The hospital took a blood test from me, and revealed that your Infamous Daywalker needs more serum. In other words: I need another blood transfusion.

4: Despite the success of WWE Elimination Chamber, there are still muthaf***az posting up CM Princess Peach B!tch memes…’Vince, do you miss me?’ All sorts of sh!t… LET IT BURN Jabronies… you really are worse than actual b!tches who love their men who abuse them.

GRANT BODY – P!

Let’s get into this sh!t! RAW #1149! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZAustin podcast with Paul Heyman tonight! Ok survival kit… I’ll be up til 5am writing and finalising this sh!t..

Chilli Dog pizza (with Frankfurter stuffed crust)

Tortilla Chip Sour Cream Pringles,

Happy shopper Jaffa Cakes (Highly recommended)

Italian Gelato from Iceland for £2 (that is the moooove!) almost as tasty as the real thing in Italy! Yep – I’m ready for this RAW sh!t!

Oh dear! Ambrose run gone with the title and now the whole Authority is coming out… let’s be real though, the ref made the RIGHT call. Rollins put the ref in harm’s way on purpose, thus making him disqualified… but let’s have some fun… Ambrose won that match damnit! Rollins shoulders were down for the three!

It’s all INJUSTICE! How dare Triple Teef demand Ambrose to come down to the ring! Roman Reigns must come down the stairs!

Yo  – who’s f**k!n around with the mic back there? Oh dear DWP get ready for more applicants!

Roman just called Rollins the worst champion ever??? Er what about Great Khali? Bob Backlund? John C- nah I ain’t one of them haters!

Oh dear… Rollins is bexxxxxxx!!!! He agreed to the match at the PPV! Rollins! Ambrose! Ladder match for the WWE Title! Now there’s no excuses as to who wins that sh!t!

Check it – Roman Reigns is in the Money Inna Bank match.. but Triple says, if he doesn’t win, he’s OUT of the match… Well THE GRANT SAYS – If I was Reigns, I’d LOSE… you know why? Check it out – F**k the title… how about f**k!n up Triple himself???!!! That’s what I’d pick! Kick him down in his 3ft nose!

GRANT BODY – P!

Triple has chosen Barrett to deny Roman… in a way I’m backing Barrett, it makes things more interesting!

Reigns ducks the bullhammer, hits the spear – BLAOW!!! Roman Reigns still in the match! Try again Triple!

Wait a minute…. Reigns gotta beat Mark Henry too? TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! Hear him singing – ‘Somebody gonna get their wig split’!!!! HA! HA! HA!

Salute – the NEW World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Champion – RYBACK!!!! Big respect to this man!

Oh for real? The Miz fights Ryback for the title? Miz ain’t gonna get very far!!!

See? I told you – PPPPPPPPP!!!! Miz punched through school buses by the Big Show! He wants to test Ryback for the I.C. Title! Oh no!!!! Ryback you can’t pick him up for the Shell Shock super move – he’s too damn big!!!

Lawwd have mercy – Kevin Owens! The Superstar! The Champ is Here!!!! You know they’re having a rematch at Munny Inna Bank right??? Hmmm…. half the STC don’t like that… what’s wrong – afraid Cena will win this time?

Oh my days! Owens putting Cena on blast! His son became a Cena fan! Owens travelled the world honing his craft! Now he’s gonna expose the ‘lie’ that is Cena! Didn’t he do that already???

You know Cena had to come out here and deliver some real talk!

I know Cena did not say Owens doesn’t deserve the NXT championship!!! GASP!!!! He’s asking for a pop-up powerbomb surely!

This ain’t one of those BLA-BLA-BLA promos… Cena shut Owens DOWN! One kid dressed up in Cena attire holding a sign saying ‘I Beat Cancer’ – Cena pointed her out! Owens had no bars after that!!!!

Ok Cena – you got Owens good and proper lyrically, but you better learn 15 more moves… because Owens, despite his appearance, got SKILLZ!!!! You only got two weeks! TO THE PERFORMANCE CENTER MUTHAF***A!

GRANT BODY – P!!

WHAAAAAT!! It’s the New Day! Love these ninjas!!!!

Shall we just post a pic of Lillian Garcia for no reason? That woman – you can’t just f**k her… you gotta love and caress her!

Lilian-Garcia-Photoshoot-Flashback-lilian-garcia-32385072-348-390

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I gotta fix my trousers like The Rock!

people-s-strudel-o

The appearance of the Primetime Players coming to support Ziggler has now become a 6-man tag with The New Day. With Young an official homosexual and Ziggler a homosexual in denial I back the New Day ALL DAY!

Big ups to the PTP though, they got the win over New Day…. UH OH!!! Guys???? What happened to the positivity???

Here we go! Is Mark Henry gonna send for the Hall Of Pain on Reigns???

Nope – Roman Reigns hit the superman punch on Mark Henry – wins by count out!!!! But Henry don’t like that sh!t!!! He sent Reigns for the Hall of Pain!!!! If I was Reigns, I’d get myself out of that arena big time! Because if I know that Triple Teef, Triple nah dun with him!

Now he’s gotta fight Wyatt??? That lantern wielding fool? THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!!! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!

Well the Milk of Magnesia Paige finally gets her title shot against Nikki…. come on Nikki… don’t let this b!atch beat yuh!SAM_3844

Nikki – you have held the divas title for 190 days…. come on girl! Only 105 days to go!

I can’t believe that after all these years, The Bella Twins still use the twin magic super move against Paige… I mean, I’m glad Nikki won but is the referee blind??? Golden rule in Bella matches – check the t!tt!£$!!! You think Dean Ambrose would fall for that twin magic sh!t???

GRANT BODY -P!!!

Oh man I don’t think I’m gonna make it to the Austin/Heyman podcast… I’m yawning like a muthaf***a here! I can hear Sheamus asking me – am I not entertained??? I mean I am but… maybe that ice cream can make all the difference…

Hold up – more participants are to be announced in the money inna bank ladder match??? OH SNAP!!!!

Oh man look at the state of Rusev! He’s on crutches and sh!t! He’s lost everything! the title, Lana, his wrestling spirit…. he reminds me of HBK when he was desperate to fight Undertaker and this epic tune was played…

Say what? Kevin Owens hosts the NXT open challenge on Smackdown??? Is it me, or does Owens want to be John Cena in his own way? Could be interesting to watch! But I dunno man, He nearly powerbombed Sami Zayn through the ring!

Look at Reigns! I don’t know if he’s gonna make it either… End this early Reigns…. you don’t wanna be fed to the buzzards???

OH NO – TEEEEEEEEEF!!! What’s the pu$$yclart Authority doing out here??? Reigns, I’m gonna pray for ya…. but the match was granted for Ambrose so maybe that t!++y mastering dude may leave the strip club and enter the arena!

And here they come… these guys – Glenn, J&J, Seth – they all pu$$y!!!!

Oh snap! Reigns mash-up all three guys in one night! What are you guys gonna do? Oh no… Where Ambrose deh??? See him here!!!! Outsmarting them and run gone with the title!!!! Hahahahah!!! The Authority have been teef since August 2013, and Ambrose can’t be teef for 5 minutes….

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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