November 9, 2013 by DiVineDiablo
I am on the Ball! Not literally, I tend to find chairs work best at a desk, though I have often contemplated sitting on one of those bouncy exorcise balls and rolling up the hip count, like Dwight. By now I expect everyone to realise that I speak utter crap, and obviously the very thought of Exorcise should tickle your thought bones! A Wrestling Fan being into Exorcise, hah! I think not, as I sit on my arse to watch over an hour of Wrestling a week stuffing my face with Strawberry Laces and the most movement I get is writing down pitiful, pointless, irrelevant comments for my Weekly Blog!
Yes! It Is I! The most pitiful, pointless, irrelevant Wrestling Blog on the Internet! Shove that in your Sock Holes! BRING IT ON!
TNA: IMPAT WRESTLING – 7/11/13
Yup… if my “bothered” o-meter actually vibrated with productive tendencies, I might have actually got the “Chutzpah!” to make a Seven Eleven related Banner. Why is that even relevant? It’s not… really, that’s the short answer. I was playing that “Logo Quiz” game on my Phone and I got stuck on it, and I knew what it was, but all I kept entering was “Twenty Four Seven” damn you GTA and the years you’ve ruined my chances at Logo Quiz Games! It’s not violence that has sunk into my mind, it’s the incorrect names for shops, like I often question is it GAP or ZIP… which one was the less stupid of the two to be a Real Shop.
Dixie is seen backstage with, and I quote my notes accurately “Black Dude” when Anderson confronts her, asking for a Match with Bully Ray. Dixie of course is happy to play along as Bully has been the “Butt” in her thigh for quite some time now, letting AJ Styles make a mockery of her. Funny enough though, it’s literally Swings and Roundabouts because AJ Styles made a mockery of himself, or at least his “Friends” did, but more on that later.
Also I do believe that the new Voice Over guy sounds a lot like the Grindhouse Movie dude, and if that is true…. I am in heaven and I take back all of my criticism of his vocal chords and I shall kiss his blood stained shoes and concealed deadly weapon coat tails to the day I decide not to. Which might also be the same day I decided to take part… coincidently of course.
Main Event Mafia kicked off this week’s Impact, at least the “in ring” opening of the show, in what I would like to say is the best thing the Main Event Mafia has done… ever. And that’s to say “We not going to be a faction anymore” YES!!! This show is off to a great start.
Sting took centre stage to say that MEM was formed once again to Dethrone Bully Ray and to stop The Aces and Eights, and mission accomplished. Well yeah, I guess, but not really. Bully doesn’t have the title, true, but The Aces and Eights are still around, albeit a much worse version of what they once were. The idea that they needed to be stopped is just ridiculous anyway, they haven’t been a threat to anyone in over 6 Months.
Sting though is off on his new journey to Battle “Entitlement” which is as good a time as any to point out that:
“to give somebody the right to have or to do something”
“to assign a title to something such as a book”
“to confer an official position or honour on somebody that brings a particular title with it”
Well, on the heels of last week where Sting made no sense and angrily left Dixie’s office to whine and do what she said in the first place, I am thinking Sting’s new journey is of course to assign a title to something such as a book.
He did however make a point to have “Respect for the ones who came before you” to which he then Hugged Kurt Angle telling him he loved him, and then Hugged Samoa Joe telling him the same. He then tapped Magnus and walked away. Which to be honest, Magnus hasn’t really done anything wrong at this point, so it makes Sting look more of a sore loser, also no one really cares all that much, but I like the tension building between the two, so I approve.
Either way, no one likes Seeing Sting walking around with Shades and a Suit, what kind of look is that? Of course it could be worse as some horrible fan in the crowd pointed out, mocking the legacy of Sting.
It’s either he was mocking him… or his Art really sucks…
Joe however had the best exit speech saying “we’re great friends, but I want to remind you why we make better enemies”.
Magnus blabbed about Winning the Title Tournament and going through Angle if he needs to, blah blah blah. Then Kurt whined some more about how his own moves defeated him against his Matches with Roode, and that he needs to Win the World Championship (for some reason again) to think himself worthy of the Hall of Fame. Of course, this all makes no sense, I don’t even know why half of these guys are willing to participate in the Title Tournament, surely Joe, Storm, Hardy, Angle etc would be on AJ’s side and refuse, and recognise him as the true World Champ?
Still, Angle’s rant caused Bobby Roode to come out and feel Embarrassed for Kurt who is “making excuses” this turned into a big Fight, that was on and off again for the rest of the show. At one point Angle remained in the ring on a chair and said he will wait all night, or even till next week if he has too, which is funny, because in TV World, next week is an hour and a bit away for Angle.
In the end MEM and EGO team mates tore Roode and Angle apart, then Kaz and Daniels attacked these Black Dudes in the crowd, the very same from the opening of the show, I’m not trying to be racist, I don’t know who he is. Turned out he’s PacMan…. which seems incorrect to me on many different levels…
Also why is he taking a Dump?
Velvet Sky vs. Brooke vs. ODB – Knockouts Championship – #1 Number-One Contender
I think it is safe to say, no one cares anymore. The Knockouts Division looks awful currently, yes Lei’D Tapa is a fantastic addition, but she’s done nothing currently, and also “currently” her position looks as if she will be firmly kissing Gail’s backside for the foreseeable future… possibly.
Which means I am sick of Velvet, Brooke and ODB being in EVERY Match. But hey, they have no one else left, so they might need to work on that.
The main point of this match is for Gail and Tapa to keep getting involved, and then they just beat everyone up. The highlight however was a very intense face off between Lei’D Tapa and ODB who did not hold anything back as they wailed on each other. And no, I don’t mean in a literal alternative meaning / spelling sense.
Gail then said she has beaten everyone in the Division, and there is literally no one left to Challenge her. Which is true. So she has issued an “Open Challenge” to any Female Wrestler in the World to fight her, and if Gail is beaten, she will even put up a Title Shot.
I LOVE Open Challenges, anything that has excitement about possible new comers. Of course this could also mean Tapa herself might attack Gail, which would also be great. But getting a new addition I think would be better, and then Tapa turned. Who knows.
Okay, so remember that Mockery of AJ Styles I mentioned, well because, as you know “he has left the company, and never to be seen again” crap, so on Impact, there was a Segment, which I kid you not, titled “The Friends of AJ Styles” who bring you amateur video footage of his recent Title Defence in AAA Mexico. An easy way to find out who is making these videos is find out where the team responsible for TNA’s utterly Poor Hall of Fame Ceremony footage are, and BINGO! Surely they could have found a better way to promote AJ Styles and keep him on people’s minds, without the need to bring you Video Segments, that is stupid. If you were watching a Match and then the video feed went, and you saw some footage or something, that would be neat, it would appear as if some people within TNA are on AJ’s side and pushing for the change in TNA. It could lead to great Segments trying to find the “Rat” in Dixie’s team who is responsible. Or they could just have Joe, or Storm talking backstage and mentioning AJ’s travels. Rather than a really naff looking title screen from the “Friends of AJ Styles” who send in video clips, which get played as part of the show.. because that’s normal.
The Aces and Eights have been blowing up backstage through-out the show, It started with Anderson confronting both Knux and Bischoff, telling them that the best thing they did was getting him out of the Cut, and for them both just to get out of the club. Garrett and Knux called Taz into the Ring, which would make this Taz’s what, Fourth Appearance with them in 10Months. Bully made his way to the ring also. This is where Anderson came down to Watch from the side lines, as Garrett complained about everything Bully has done and took off his Cut. Knux also said he was Finished with the Club, but a tie vote would rule in favour of the President, of course Taz off of the heels of last week saying the club sucked, said Anderson was right, and took of his Cut. Bully got in Taz’s face telling him to put it back on, and Taz went all high pitched and squealy as he said “Make Me!”
Bully turned all of this on Anderson’s meddling, and Anderson announced their Turning Point match will be a No DQ. Bully then said “for someone who worships Stone Cold Steve Austin so much, you forgot the first rule”. Which is when Knux and Bischoff attacked Anderson and threw him in the ring where Bully beat him down with his Chain.
Yup, I hope they keep this level of Aces and Eights shenanigans up, because that was awesome. I was totally sucked in to them shutting down the Club, I fully expected that was the way it was going, then all of a sudden, they were more united than ever. I honestly didn’t see it coming, so kudos, it was awesome. I want The Aces and Eights to grow, more members, more power, more chaos, I really want that. Like REALLY WANT THAT!!!!
Ethan Carter the Third vs. Dewey Barnes
I made a note to write down his name correctly this time, yup same old crap.
Though Dewey’s music is awesome, I shall look for it and embed it if I can find it.
EC3’s music is also good.
His finisher is the “One Percenter” and that is also good… but that is all.
Also two searches said I couldn’t find it… and that’s two searches too many!
Bad Influence vs. Eric Young and Joseph Park
Backstage Kaz and Daniels got at Park, throwing his Trick-Or-Treat “Candy” at him, saying how strange it is he is here this week, and Abyss is not. EY stepped up to save the day and challenge them to a match. Which led to a lovely awkward moment of EY and Park celebrating, whilst it was blatantly obvious Kaz and Daniels were stood at the other side of the room off camera watching.
I guess this is just building the feud between the two, and I hope it leads to Abyss / Park realisation, because I am bored of that story now, it just needs to “happen” or go in a different direction.
In the end Daniels grabbed the Time Keepers Hammer, ref went after it, Daniels through the Hammer, got his Apple-Tini, lobbed that in the face of Park, Kaz crucifix pin, and the Victory goes to Bad Influence.
Roode came to ringside a little earlier on in the night and shouted for Kurt, then left. So this time, Angle came out and shouted for Roode, saying he isn’t a hard man to find, which is ironic as Roode couldn’t find him earlier and Angle didn’t even come out to his challenge.
It was however Austin Aries that got in the face of Kurt Angle, as Aries and Angle will battle next week in the next match of the Title Tournament, and Dixie’s “Wheel of Dixie” determined it will be a Submission Match, so that should be awesome. Roode then came out and attacked Kurt, then all three of them were fighting each other. Yay?
Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Sabin – World Title Tournament – Full Metal Mayhem
Aside from the fact that every time they talk about a Full Metal Mayhem match which Jeff Hardy is taking part in, they feel the unnecessary need to label it “Tables, Ladders, Chairs…. and stairs”. When they did that before, I let it slide, but numerous times through-out the night promoting this match, they felt the need to include Tables, Ladders and Chairs, I get it. It’s his most famous matches, but that doesn’t mean you need to say those exact words, Full Metal Mayhem is a concept from TNA that explains the match type rather well. The fact they can’t say “Tables, Ladders and Chairs” which I’m sure is because it has some “copyright” issues, so they say, Tables, Ladders, Chairs and Stairs. Really? What matches do you remember where Stairs come into play as a deciding factor.
Also TNA plugged Jeff’s new CD, which without researching I assume is another TNA Released Album of remixed songs where Jeff badly sings on top of. I shall look into this further, but I am hopeful this CD, the aptly named “Plurality of Worlds” will sit among his other classics, such as:
“Disbandment of Soil” – “Eccentric Roll down the Hill” – “Waddle on the Wind” and my personal favourite:
So with that rant over and done with, this match was Fantastic!
Everything you would want it to be, it delivered on. It actually took me by surprise, mainly because the majority of Match Types haven’t lived up to the hype of recent, Ultimate-X is the best example from BFG. Adding that to the face that this is just Impact, rather than a PPV, they don’t tend to raise their game to big levels for a standard TV Match. But they hit big move after big move.
It was so destructive Jeff merely tried to open the leg of one table and pulled it clean off!
But in all seriousness he went flying off the Top Rope through a Table, even though the timing wasn’t perfect as Sabin started to move, then Jeff jumped, so whatever. Sabin also leapt off the top rope and Jeff put his knees up, still going through a Table.
I couldn’t tell if Sabin annoyed Jeff, he hit him rather hard, then Dropkicked the chair into his face rather violently, which looked to give Jeff some issues, I for one thought he might have lost a tooth, but I’m not sure. So in retaliation Jeff swung the chair over Sabin’s head in a fit of rage. It was brutal.
The finish came with Jeff literally throwing himself over a Ladder and free falling face first to the floor, to then last minute Roll it through into a Modified Swanton Bomb, and picked up the win.
I haven’t seen a match that delivered on this Brutality for some time, maybe not since Jeff and Aries tore it down with their Ladder Match. Regardless, I shall be happy to include this in my list of potential “Match of the Year” Candidates.
If you missed this match… go watch it…. NOW!
And if this is the standard the opening the Match of the Title Tournament sets going forward, then the rest of these awesome bouts should be fantastic to witness!
I can’t wait for Angle vs. Aries next week (hope Aries wins) and Impact pulled out some surprises with The Aces and Eights, and kept everything hitting hard and fast.
If they can keep this going, then TNA are chugging along with some major momentum in my opinion.
On a funny note whilst doing my Spell-Checking, the final thing I misspelled was my own Name!
That’s a first! And I can’t tell you how proud I am… hence adding this to the end of my blog!