Tag Archives: Total Non Stop Action Wrestling

The Jobber Blogger #69 – TNA: Impact Wrestling – 26/9/13

September 30, 2013 by DiVineDiablo


Jobber Blogger logo2It was inevitable that one day we would reach this “infamous” number. I’m sure Stan Lee had the same reservations when he wrote “Amazing Spider-Man #69” though he did (unbeknownst to him) name Peter’s love interest after Marijuana.

I do wonder if I could sell my “Jobber Blogger” Themed T-Shirt ideas to my craving “Blobs”, but part of me feels I just don’t have the right mix. That and a limited audience currently.

Sure, I got to talking about T-Shirt printing and credible business ideas after talking about sexual numbers and drugs, what’s wrong with that? It’s not like I make random, controversial or stupid remarks on a Weekly basis!

Don’t give me that face!

Yes, that’s the one!

We all know I am more along the lines of trite, conceited and a little bit crap really.

But like any healthy diet, you need a good dose of Crap in your life, and that’s where I step in!


Impact Wrestling Logo


Impact hailed from the very excitable crowd of : drum roll :


Impact kicked off with Sting approaching the much hated… and easily hated Dixie Carter, Sting being a big supporter and great friend of Carter… well, apart from that one time…

However it seems Dixie has been avoiding Sting’s texts, but like anyone with any sense, your best bet is to just call them, it works wonders. But Sting happens to be overlooking the biggest part of this:

1: her character now essentially is (I don’t know anything about the industry, also most things, my Dad has money)

Dixie 1 money

2: Dixie isn’t a young Whipper Snapper, this new technology probably goes over her head

Dixe 2 Phone

and yes ladies and gentleman, Number 3: … she’s a woman.

Dixie 3 woman

Which is when Dixie pretty much told Sting not to worry about her, she can handle herself, and strangely enjoyed stroking his suit jacket. So let’s add another one of her list of qualities:

4: she’s a whore

Bully Ray along with his “Main Squeeze”, I never got that phrase, is that someone he squeezes more than anyone else? Or is it that this someone squeezes you more than anyone else. Either way, I am guessing it is this problem and trail of thought that led to the design of the Stress Ball, and like anything Ironic… and of course in turn associated with the said number of this issue, these things have a “handy” way of coming Full-Circle.

Bully had a lot of positive things to say about Dixie’s turn to the Dark Side

Dixie Dark Side

I guess this makes the casting of Morgan Freeman even more relevant for Bad Influence – The Movie.

Bully was taken aback by Dixie’s retaliation to AJ’s hat, hair and beard, and even praised the President of TNA for getting into AJ’s head so much so, that Bully doesn’t even need to worry about his Title Match coming up at Bound for Glory.

Of course Bully didn’t miss an opportunity to bad mouth the fans, saying Dixie is the sole person responsible for AJ Styles ever performing in front of these “Morons”. Needless to say, some people took offense to his rash, unbridled use of his Politically Incorrect remark.

Boo Mentally Challenged

There is more irony to be found in this, with The Aces and Eights created to “over-throw” management, and then just being on their side in the end.

Wes, Garret and Knux all stepped up to confront Bully, in yet another show of them falling apart, claiming Bully is more bothered about keeping the Belt around his waist than he is about his “Brothers in the club”.

This led Bully to tell them to once again get in line, and that they better win their match tonight against The Main Event Mafia (for some reason) or else whoever Loses, will be out of the Club.

Bro Man’s and Gail Kim vs. ODB, Eric Young and Joseph Park


Before the match Park was seen attempting to “Shave” backstage before EY stopped him, finally coming to the conclusion that the sight of his own blood causes Park to go crazy. What is more important is Park “slapped his Face” getting Shaving foam everywhere, a clear sign that he is a proud endorser of the Electric Shaver!

It was a strange match, strange in a good way I suppose, it sort of feels like they are finally (finally) trying to solve the problems Joseph Park has been having for over a year now. Funny because he’s a lawyer, which should mean he’s really smart, although he did get Shaving Foam everywhere,.. literally.

We all know he is the same guy as Abyss, but what is weird is that with Abyss we know he’s going to get up, fight back, battle through anything, With Joseph Park, he looks really vulnerable I find. It’s a good set up of polar opposites by the same guy.

Speaking of things being strange, Eric Young has continued his use of much more sensible Wrestling Attire, which I sort of don’t like. I miss the silly Bandanas and Shorts.

In the end it was Park with a Second Rope Splash, EY with a Top Rope Elbow Drop and finally ODB with a Splash on the ground for them to pick up the Win.

 Austin Aries vs. Kenny King

Sure this had quite a build up to get to this point, Aries made his way to the ring to speak of where he goes from here after coming up short in the Bound for Glory series. Once again Aries speaks the truth, even if he is not “Headlining” the Pay Per View, he will be the Main Event. Which promptly led to Kenny King’s return. Now King hasn’t been seen in a while, and I am sure he has come back with new Music, but just like the last few themes, they just haven’t got it right. His first Theme was great and suited him much better, he should just continue to use that one.

King is holding a grudge on Aries for when King lost the X-Division Belt to Chris Sabin, it was Aries who stole the belt from Sabin in his “Manik” switch that took all of the attention away from King’s rematch. Though go back even further to last year’s Destination X and Kenny King and Austin Aries had a segment backstage where they implied King will be in Aries’ position a year later, and he very nearly was.

This all led to Aries challenging King to a match, King refused, then sucker punched him, and then the match took place.

There is very little to say here, simply Watch this match if you love Wrestling, Kenny King is amazingly gifted in the ring, and Austin Aries, well he’s Austin Aries. They put on the Match of the show, which included King getting badly busted open.

It was Aries’ Brain Buster that led to the Victory.

Shortly after their match, Aries was backstage and got confronted by Chris Sabin and Velvet Sky, Sabin continues his “Heel” gimmick, though Aries’ “Hey Velvet” and completely ignoring Sabin had me in stitches. Sabin claimed to be “Greater than the Greatest Man that Ever Lived”, Aries said he will Test that Theory, and I certainly enjoyed the Mention of Sabin laying on his back getting his ass kicked for 15Mins, and finally winning with a Hammer.

There was a short Video Promo for Lei’d Tapa who “Is Coming” which is exciting, we saw her via Gut Check, obviously they should just not have done Gut Check and ran this Video Promo and her “Impact” would have been far Greater.

Then later in the show was a Video Promo for “Ethan is Coming” judging by the “Bling” on the lettering, it’s safe to say this guy is going to be another Robbie E / Jesse …. or he’s Black.

Also Kurt Angle is making his “Return” to the Company at Bound for Glory, whether or not he will be Competing or not, we do not know.

Chris Sabin vs. Manik – X-Division Championship

After Sabin’s attack on Manik last week, it led to this Match-Up. Though I didn’t know you could beat someone up and get a Title Shot, sort of makes the whole 3-Month BFG Series a little irrelevant.

There are numerous things wrong with this match, for one the intro Graphics shows the Old X-Division Championship Belt, Sabin bent Velvet over to kiss her on the Ramp and also why is Velvet hanging around with him on Air anyway?

Interestingly though, Sabin did try and “unmask” Manik, but he held on to his Mask, which pretty much makes no sense as we see him all the time backstage without it on.

Sabin then pretended his Knee was injured, and followed that up by Throwing Velvet into Manik, then kicking him in the face. Say what you want to about him, but that is a rather good move.

The Finish of the match was rather similar with Manik locking in a Submission Hold, and Sabin reaching for the Ropes, instead grabbed Velvet and pulled her in the ring, the distraction led to Sabin trying a quick Roll-Up on Manik, which was Reversed and Manik won with a Roll-Up, where Sabin’s shoulders clearly weren’t on the Map. Something I noticed and Taz pointed out straight away, no doubt done on purpose. Of course the real probably comes with where Earl Hebner was actually looking when he did the Three Count:

Manik Sabin earl

Sabin then attacked Manik once more which led to Austin Aries running out and pulling a Steiner:

Aries fell over

No doubt the Aries – Sabin match up a few Months back will become a One on One bout at Bound for Glory, and will have the potential to be the match of the night.

 The Aces and Eights vs. The Main Event Mafia

Before the match started, Knux had a great promo getting Wes and Garret fired up, why they haven’t let Knux be more of a out spoken “Brother” till now, I don’t know, but he’s really growing on me as a Character. If Anderson does come back, and they keep the Aces and Eights going, Anderson should be President with Knux as VP.

On the Flip side, Magnus was throwing a Strop backstage earlier on in the night about Ego, and Ego had a promo about how good a Loser Magnus is.

I am a little sick of 6-Man Tag matches right now, one last week and two this week, albeit a “Mixed Tag” but it has the same effect. Magnus looked great in the ring as always, but Ego made their presence known and knocked him off the Top Rope injuring his knee and he left the match, making is a 3 on 2 situation.

Regardless of the odds, in the end it was Joe who made Wes Tap Out for the Win.

Bully Ray came out to deal with Wes, and said he is a disgrace to his colours and to hand over his Cut.

Wes refused to hand over his cut, and in the end Bully delivered a Pile-Driver and got Garret and Knux to remove his Cut and hand it over. Bully did order them by stating “I don’t pay you to think” if you pay a “Club” surely that’s the wrong thing. They tend to be there Voluntary, because they want to be there. Knux and Garret picked up Wes to help him to the back but the Tension between Bully and Knux is building, just like it did with Anderson. I fear they will just end The Aces and Eights and be done with it, which is a shame because I think the Faction can move on to better things without Bully rather than dying with him.

Hulk Hogan – AJ Stlyes – Face to Face

Hogan came out earlier on in the night to get the Crowd to cheer for AJ, stating that AJ can lead TNA on to new and better things and take the Belt from Bully, but obviously he wants his Champ to be signed, and he will correct it.

AJ signs the “contract” which is when Dixie Carter came out to correct Hogan’s errors. She claims Hogan was brought in to help build and promote the Brand, and he has done that, but not to forget that he is just an employee, she then Tears Up AJ’s Contract.

Dixie is actually very good at being Heel, I think someone in her position, it is easy to get the Crowd to hate her, but of course it must too be a strange thing for her to go from being much Loved, to be so easily despised. Dixie told AJ to get out of her ring, and she moved her attention to Hogan.

I think TNA once again have been very good at playing the internet, for Dixie stated that “99% of you don’t know her World, and for the last 4 to 5 Months the majority of the Internet Criticised her” via her #AskDixie.

I think they have very cleverly crafted this out to get Feedback, and to piss off a lot of people to help cause this switch from Dixie and AJ and the new direction of the Company.

Dixie ended it with giving Hogan an ultimatum, to either “get in line on Team Dixie” or go on the Side-Lines like AJ Styles.

I actually know what happens next, but I will spare you the details till next week.

I think despite all these “Problems” TNA seemed to be having of late, I think they have a good few tricks up their sleeves, and I would even bet that we haven’t seen the last of some of the people they “let go” either.

Time will tell, but the Road to Bound for Glory is getting mighty interesting!

Till Then.



TNR Cover 12