Tag Archives: World Heavyweight Champion

The Jobber Blogger #130 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 15/10/14


The Jobber Blogger

Are you proud of me? I would be, also I am be. And I am also me. It all makes sense like Lion King and the Circle of Life. Only it means reduction. Which wasn’t really mentioned all that much in the film itself, though I do remember a McDonalds toy that left little to the imagination.

lion king wrongI guess that’s more borderline bestiality than it is the Circle of Life.

Well what a way to start off issue #130 – no doubt shattering some dreams and hearts and eyes of the two people that appear to be reading this every week… or at least viewing the posts and liking them. Then not reading.

Does anyone read this?

Yes, I know you do Linda, hell I don’t re-read my ramblings anymore, look at that < spelling error.

I don’t know if there is one, I didn’t check, I just played it safe and assumed.


It appears that I’ve lost my way already, that’s pretty good for a opening Paragraph / Segment isn’t it. Shows signs of things to come. I was going to say, Are you Proud of me?

It’s Friday, creeping up to 8pm and I’m writing the Jobber Blogger! Yes folks, I’m caught up and up to date!

Which is saying something given it’s crazy Writing week when the PPV’s hit, pretty much Watch Wrestling / Write Wrestling / Watch Wrestling / Write Wrestling / Watch Wrestling / Write Wrestling then I’m back on schedule.

So how was Impact after / before Bound for Glory? I’ll tell you how it was! Because that’s what I’ve chosen to do, whether you like it or not, whether you agree or not, whether you even read it or not, I will do it! This is The Jobber Blogger and I vow to do stuff!

bluelineImpact Wrestling Logo


I know how frustrating it may be on the days I don’t get my Jobber Blogger Blog posts Jobbering it up on a Sunday night to follow the UK Airing of Impact on Challenge. I feel your frustration, it keeps me up at night, and sometimes Linda sends me hate mail.

(You’re being featured a lot this week Linda 😉 be proud!)

Currently I’m trying to get Minecraft on my PS Vita and it’s all gone to hell! Not that I expected it to just “work” though in the back of my mind I thought “I bet this will just work, despite the fact I’m expecting it not to”.

Long story short, it doesn’t work, I own the PS3 Retail Version, supposed to recognise my save and allow Cross-Buy, BUT IT DOESN’T WORK! Now I can’t even throw money at the problem and buy it, the whole worlds gone to the poop when you can’t get things for Money! If I can’t get things for Money, why do I work! Tell me that!



You’ll be pleased to know that Impact was pretty awesome this week! I was impressed and entertained. I’d like to clarify that Bound for Glory was a really good show, I might have blurted out some more “negative” feedback of the show, it was a good show. Didn’t live up to the name of “Bound for Glory”, but that was probably more to do with the fact that it didn’t have over half of the TNA talent I want to watch on a TNA show on the PPV. No grudge matches, no decent talent, no Championship belts. It was a TNA – One Night Only – vs. Wrestle1 show.

Nothing wrong with that. Just nothing “Glorious” about it either.


Kurt Angle kicked off Impact with a whole segment to build up the Main Event the advertised last week with an announcement from Kurt Angle and a Video Package and a Mention.

So awesome to start the show by telling us what you already told us. If Sean O’ Haire were still alive, he’d be Senton’ing in his grave.

Big ups Sean O’ Haire, I am a fan. Also “I’m not going to tell you what you already know”. It was his catch phrase with the re-branded Spider Web look and awesome Entrance Music. It took place before his firing.

So… there you have it.


Kurt called out Lashley, which I still kind of forget he’s the Champ, Lashley has been a good Champ though, for the times I remembered it. The second Impact kicked off it felt like TNA again, and I like Lashley a lot in the Title Picture.

Kurt seemed rather miffed that Lashley declined Roode’s Challenge for another shot at the World Championship.

Shall I go into why this annoys me? I shall!

Kurt claimed that being the World Heavyweight Champion means he needs to defend the belt whenever and wherever. Never heard of that before, it’s not his duty.

More to the point Kurt was annoyed at MVP last week for the “mess” he made and how dare he book his own matches, he’s not in charge. Despite the fact Kurt didn’t stop any of it. Now he’s annoyed at Lashley for getting involved in the Match Kurt didn’t want to take place in the first place with a stipulation he didn’t agree with, agree to, nor want to happen.

Yup, I have no idea why he was annoyed, aside from the fact that the Script says as much.

Further to the point, surely Bobby Roode who earned a shot AND LOST does not deserve to get a re-match on the basis that “I was pretty good before I lost” I don’t remember that being a “I’ve earned this” way of life.

And the final point, Surely Roode asking for another shot should annoy Kurt just as much as MVP making a match did, because Roode would have done the exact same thing. Only he would have done it with the World Championship on the line, despite the fact he already had his opportunity and Lost!

End of. Kurt makes no sense.

I’m not really that bothered, but please, just pay attention to what you Write. This is like Star Trek getting their Delorean stuck in a Worm Hole where Johnny Five accidently clicked on Quantum Leap.


It Just Don’t Make Sense!


Madison Rayne vs. Havok – Knockouts Championship

Madison is drifting on down the Heel lake once more, but this time it’s a “why wouldn’t I have done that?” rather than just being a full blown Heel. She’s the Heel people don’t like because she did the smart thing rather than the Honourable thing.

But as she said, every Knockout for herself, why would she risk injury at the hands of Havok before her Championship match to save Taryn from taking a bump. Not worth it.

Also props to Madison, I like her new Entrance, with her head down then bringing the Camera Man to go behind her and follow her down the ramp. I like that. Very cinematic.

Now I had quite the rant about Velvet putting up a good fight against Havok at Bound for Glory, I suppose in reality, this match took place first, so Velvet could have been trying to top it. Which is fair enough.

Madison also put up quite the fight against Havok, though Havok seemed far more dominant against Madison than she did against Velvet. Which doesn’t make sense. Also for Velvet as a Heel, it makes less sense for her to be “full of heart” and the underdog. Which on the flip side, is a nice thing about Madison. She’s drifting toward being a Heel, but currently she’s still a face, so she went to battle by herself and put up a good fight, not backing down.

Though I did start to question the physical health of Earl Hebner, he’s not getting any younger…. I don’t think, I don’t know his medical history, or in fact his age.

But given he works on a general Human life scale, then he’s getting older. It seemed he dosed off during this match, or at least tried to squeeze in a sneaky Nap during a pin-count.


He could have been selling a kick-out though I suppose, but I think chances are he nodded off.

I joke. I kid. I can’t write anything funny….. also I laughed a bit.

Havok lifted up Madison and dropped her with the Chokeslam for the Win.

Though actually, Havok’s Chokeslam is known as the “Harlot Slayer!”

Which sounds like a Spider-Man Villain who hunts prostitutes… I like it.

harlot slayer


Magnus vs. Matt Hardy

This Makes Me Happy.

Yes, like most, some of, perhaps a couple of people, I was wondering on the future of Matt in TNA.

I know he’s not signed, this is more of a per-appearance deal, but now that the Tag-Title Series has wrapped, I wasn’t sure where he would go.

Then he popped up backstage in a promo where Magnus interrupted. Yup, it’s not really that relevant, “you’re not as good as your Brother” / “your jealous of your friend”, usual crap.

Again, as someone who is a life-long fan of the Hardyz, I can’t tell you how happy I am to see Matt in TNA, in a Singles Match, where he is “himself”.

I was looking forward to his first run, and we all know that didn’t turn out so well. So thank you TNA for giving him a chance to redeem himself. Matt’s a great talent, and is capable of a lot.

As someone who is a Fan of Magnus, but never really fully sold on Magnus, I am pleased to admit he seemed more like himself and also far better than I remember.

I literally had no idea what to expect when Magnus lifted Matt into the Power-bomb position, I thought Matt would probably do the usual punch to the face, land on his feet type of ordeal. Then I thought Magnus would just ram him back first into the Turnbuckle.

I did not expect Magnus to ram him into the Turnbuckle then actually Power-Bomb Matt onto the Ring Apron.

I don’t recall seeing that, and it looked nasty. – Nasty and cool.

The match came to an end when Matt caught Magnus’ mid dive from the Second Rope with a Twist of Fate.

The crowd seemed to have a mixed reaction to Matt’s move, I suppose it’s a fairly common thing to see now, specially that the traditional Cutter has come into play a lot recently by a lot of guys. Also I miss Matt taking his time with the Twist of Fate, seems to be more rushed, I liked the Taunt and Scream before the move.

Still, Matt’s in TNA and I love it! Hardyz vs. Bram and Magnus?


DJZ, Jesse and Angelina Love (w/ Velvet Sky) vs. Knux, Crazy Steve and Rebel

I am very happy that DJZ has the current look he does, it’s a big improvement of where he used to be pre-Bromans.

However I miss the DJ deck and annoying horn. I loved that during matches! Do more of it! All the time!

That makes sense right?

Not sure on the partnership of the Bromans and The Beautiful People. Bro’s meet Rock chicks, doesn’t seem to match.

Don’t hate it though.

Above all else, this match is best for one reason, Crazy Steve. It seems TNA are impressed with his popularity because he’s being used more and more, not only that, but rather than the being the crazy guy who doesn’t fight a lot, even lost his matches because he’s out of control and the first person to be eliminated from other bouts.

He put on a great outing in this match and displayed how much of a Credible wrestler he is without breaking or losing any aspect of his Character.

Also he won the match. Good things seem to be in his future, I think he’s got a Gimmick that can last, and transform when required.

Zema kept patting Rebel’s “rear” till Knux took him out, Steve going in for the kiss on Angelina, when Jesse broke it up with a press slam. Steve landed on his feet, jumped to the Second Rope, hit a Tornado DDT for the win.

crazy steve


Tyrus vs. Shark Boy

You know, I think I preferred the wrong thing out of this match.

I can say that I was not expecting “Tyrus” – Brodus Clay to be EC3’s new Bodyguard. Also, surely Rocktsar Spud was not “employed” to be EC3’s Bodyguard. Just saying.

Still a very good and pleasant surprise, no idea if he’s sticking around in TNA, or if he’s doing a Gene Snitsky.

I could also mention Big E, but “doing a Gene Snitsky” is far funnier as a saying. That should be used… Taz you listening?

Everyone Tweet that at Taz!

doing a gene snitskyt

Either way, whether he sticks around or not, they will eventually end up fighting, it just happens, even if I don’t want it to.

TNA – Breaking the mould.

EC3 had a big old Rant about being undefeated and how he’s defeated every TNA Hall of Famer. Devon stepped up then got attacked by Bram. Which is far more interesting than having EC3 fight Devon.

So in the end, EC3 revealed he had booked Tyrus a match against TNA Legend Shark Boy.

I’ve never been a huge Shark Boy fan, but the more I think about his gimmick, the more I like it. Now having him miss his entrance and run a video backstage where they find him out of shape on a sofa stuffing Doughnuts into his Mask, I love it!

Hence what I mean, I think I was more impressed and intrigued by Shark Boy’s decent into physics defying obesity than I was the debut of Tyrus.

…… Tyrus won.


Eric Young vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode – Four Way Elimination #1 Number One Contender Match – World Heavyweight Championship

Now anyone who knows me and reads this, knows I love any kind of Elimination Match. I Love em!

So I was happy.

Here is something I wasn’t expecting, I really miss Jeff Hardy being in the Main Events. Now again, big Hardy fan, but I can see why he isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I never disliked him as Champ, just you know, went a long with it. However now, after a good period of him not being in the Main Events as a main stay, I miss it.

I’ve always said Bobby Roode is the best World Heavyweight Champion of recent memory, least my favourite.

I don’t know if I’m ready for this Roode to be Champion. I enjoyed Heel Roode. I always enjoy Heel Wrestlers more, they tend to have longer Championship reigns. I feel a Heel can be a main stay, without really needing to do anything. You never “need” to turn them Face, only because your good guys are thinning out or to do something different. Heel’s tend to gain momentum on the card and with the fans. Faces decrease, and usually decrease quickly.

Currently should Roode be the Champ again, in my mind I see a good few Months run, till he ends up going against James Storm and his Revolution, where pay-back is a (you know what) and Storm gets the proper Title Run he deserves as the top heel on the show.

All four of these guys put on a great main event, timing was slightly off as EY and Hardy were setting up for simultaneous “Moonsault’s and Swanton’s” a good Album title incidentally.


EY missed with the Moonsault, Jeff missed with the Swanton then both were dropped with the Roode Bomb and Brain Buster respectively then eliminated.

Roode and Aries tore it down as you’d expect, in the end Roode caught Aries from his Corner Drop-Kick and delivered a Roode Bomb to pick up the win.

All four of them then stood in the ring displaying mutual respect.

I still find it funny that Angle chose the Four Guys who Lost against Lashley, to then challenge him again.

You’d think someone else would have a shot, who perhaps hasn’t been defeated already. Not arguing. Just stating.


Good show, looking forward to Next Week’s Impact, also the Wolves announced a 8-Team Tag-Tournament to find their next challenges. Seems like a long process, but looking forward to that too!

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson





TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)www.cageamateursuk.com

The Jobber Blogger #110 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 12/6/14


The Jobber Blogger

To think, 10 issues ago was issue 100. There’s some math to kick you in the knee caps! Or shins, if you happen to be a strange alien being at the mercy of one Captain Kirk’s instinctive kick to the groin… accidentally.

Well, that could potential be the most inappropriate way to start this, but hey, what could be better?

Yes TNA heads toward Slammiversary, live tonight actually in the US. But the question is, does their “go home” show deliver. I may have come across a little “negative” last week, and while this week’s show didn’t annoy me as much, I was very much so looking forward for it to end.

When did that happen? 1 hour and a half of Wrestling and I’m bored. The main event should be the thing you want more than anything, but yet, it was just the same old tired boring routine. On the plus side, the same old tired boring routine has had a little bit of a shake up! And yes, that’s good!

Impact Wrestling Logo


Sadly, Impact did not kick off with a match, but a match wasn’t actually far behind. The TNA World Champion – Eric Young made his way to the ring (in Wrestling attire… a pretty good give away) and called out MVP.

A whole load of un-necessary garbage later the theme for the show was set. EY was going to war against MVP, Lashley and King, and should be able to win, he gets to pick the stipulation and have his “fair fight”.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Lashley

Believe it or not, but Lashley was the only one between he, MVP and Kenny King to be dressed to compete, it’s like they pre-planned this match?

Either way, this took me a little by surprise. Which is the best way to describe TNA’s main theme this week. See when it was set that EY needed to defeat MVP, Lashley and King, I therefore assumed it would be a handicap match. King again making orders (somehow) claimed EY couldn’t even defeat two of them, and so the challenge was set. Again, I expected this to be 2 on 1. But no, it was a gauntlet… with gaps. EY had to compete in three matches to get his fair fight, all of them spaced out throughout the show, which as it happens… seems fair. Too fair really.

It gets further confusing when Lashley makes quick work of EY, beats him down, injures his back, catches EY mid air and Powerslam’s him to the mat and picks up the win.

My instant reaction was, Awesome! EY got his ass kicked by big bad Bobby Lashley and now EY can’t name his stipulation. Nope.

Just because he lost, doesn’t mean he still can’t win. A stupid idea. Surely if MVP was that bent on having the advantage, it would be a handicap match. Should it not be that, giving a slight edge to EY, it should be that EY wasn’t able to actually lose. He lost, straight away. That should have been the end of it, and quite frankly something I wasn’t expecting. I was expecting an entire show where EY “defies the odds’!” phony injury and all. Still.

Lashley wasn’t done and Samoa Joe came to his aid, thus pitting Joe vs. Lashley at Slammiversary in a mid-card match no-one gives two craps about seeing.

facebook wrong

Now That’s Booking!

Magnus and Bram made their way to the ring. Bram looking pretty intense and awesome and Magnus looking like he has a hard time selling the idea of him being intense and awesome. He looked like a presentable version of Bram. I hope Magnus can pull off the gimmick, but right away he’s the less impressive guy in the ring, Magnus works being Magnus, Bram is a natural at playing this crazy intense violent dude. So Bram debuts as this “crazy intense violent dude” and I believe. TNA then tell me “Magnus is just as intense, crazy and violent” and I don’t believe it. Put them side by side, one is trying, one works. So the former World Heavyweight Champion – veteran – Magnus, now looks less legit than the new guy…..

good booking

Good Booking!

Magnus was given the same old crap speech to explain himself. I really don’t think he needed to, nobody really cares enough, and he’s playing a heel, it’s not like he’s changed, he just ditched looking smart for Bram’s clothes.

Magnus blabbed on about “they” changed him to who he was. Yet this entire “change” apparently only covers the few Months where he was Champion, not the how many years he was the exact same guy beforehand, only without a Championship and catchphrase.

Willow wobbled his way to the entrance ramp, and actually did an alright promo. Jeff sucks trying to be himself, he is charismatic in everything, but dialogue. So Jeff being even more awkward as Willow is just… awkward. Unless they edit it with snazzy effects and reverb, then it’s kind of cool. Jeff jumped between his two personalities, and I actually expected him to ditch the mask and return to being “Jeff Hardy” again, but instead he didn’t. He did however talk about “we”, which was quite good, I’d rather have Willow come out with a blow up doll dressed like Jeff to compete. Instead, Abyss turned up. Abyss obviously back with issues against Magnus, so now it starts to make a bit more sense.

He still looks sort of stupid though, and not at all intimidating like he used to.

Robbie E (w/ Jesse, DJ Z) vs. Knux (w/ The Menagerie)

The Menagerie is this weird blend of good ideas and poor execution, which is always TNA’s staple of work. For instance, the idea of The Menagerie is quite good. The Freak sucks. Crazy Steve is awesome, yet rather than being more awesome, he’s sort of more “comical” and that makes him child friendly in my eyes, rather than being creepy and dark. His look is creepy and dark, how he moves is creepy and dark, the way he snaps is neck around is awesome creepy and dark. But then he’s being stupid, and with the rest of them (namely The Freak who is also known as Walking Stupid) undermines Crazy Steve’s credibility and potential, I feel, at least.

I like having the music playing and crazy lights, but then it always puts the advantage to Knux, they used to do the same thing with the Bromans, so it would be better if it went back and forth a little.

The match was alright, but it has far too many moving parts and gimmicks on both sides for there to be anything to dig your teeth into and get to know anyone as “wrestlers” or characters.

Knux didn’t have too many problems in picking up the win, with multiple distractions on both sides. Crazy Steve then tied his balloons to the back of Robbie E’s trunks, so he freaked out and ran around stupidly. Kind of funny, I get the whole having “characters for everyone” but The Bromans, especially Robbie are very credible in the ring, it would be nice to see Robbie given the chance to be a bit more serious at times. Though Tigre Uno has recently said he’d like to Wrestle Crazy Steve, and implied that he’s very good in the ring, so I’m anxious to see him actually Wrestle.

Ethan Carter the third and Spud brought out “Brooke”. Or Miss Tessmacher, or Brooke Tessmacher, correctly called Brooke Adams. Can’t they just call her that now?

It was awesome to see Brooke back, she’s one of my favourites, aside from the whole “sexualised gyrating move set she does”.

Despite the fact Brooke turned heel very quickly, ditched the fans, got a new persona… got written off of tv for months and months, she’s now back and a face. But whatever, Wrestling, get it.

EC3 was hoping to learn some dark secrets about Bully Ray, but the whole segment got vastly better when Spud took charge.

Spud who put the spot light on Brooke and removed an envelope with evidence that Brooke’s child is indeed Bully’s. Obviously, entirely incorrect information, but highly entertaining. Including everyone’s favourite – the Titan Tron pictures. With a side by side of Bully and some random Baby.

More Spud.

Bully came out to Brooke’s aid, with a horrible, horrible idea of Bully apologising to Brooke and telling her how awesome she is, including a Hug. We don’t need to see that. We all know Bully is married outside of Wrestling, the whole Aces and Eights thing was a good idea, he ditched Brooke when he lost the belt, he’s a bad guy. Now he’s a softy good guy, it’s almost difficult to watch.

EC3 then challenged Bully to a Tables match, which was then one upped by Bully to a Texas Death-match.

Okay, theory time.

Bully Ray is on Dixie Carter’s side. They needed a way to eliminate MVP and the control he has, the best way to do that is give him the power, with Dixie being entirely sure MVP was just as corrupt. And he was. Bully was thrown in the mix to “fool” people, just like The Aces and Eights. Only this time, perhaps more clever?

So my guess is in the end Bully won’t put Dixie through a table, because they are aligned, and always have been. Perhaps even with Bully getting back the World Championship. As far as EC3 and Spud are concerned, Dixie clearly has no issues with throwing them to the hands of Bully just to get her company back and prove a point. That’s my theory. Bully is being “too good”.

suspicious bully

Eric Young vs. Kenny King

This was the match of the night, King is a fantastic talent, and I love the current position he is in. Against EY, they both put on a great match, and The Royal Flush – King’s special move, is awesome!

Though a little annoying he just then spent time showing off rather than pinning EY, a clear sign we know how the match is going to play out.

EY then hit the Pile-Driver on King and I cringed, again. You could see King move his head up a little too early, but I don’t blame him one second. The whole move is just bad. I don’t know why they are continuing it. I guess if all parties are happy to do it, fair enough. But it’s almost like “the pile driver will set us apart from the competition”. There’s a pretty damn good reason why they don’t use that move, and I wish TNA would be the same.

Brittany vs. Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim – #1 Contendership – Knockouts Title

It’s a little annoying that these number one contender matches need to take place, and usually do just before a PPV. The Knockouts have some interesting stories going on currently, can’t they work them into a Title match without having the randomly win an opportunity.

Brittany spent the first part of match copying Madison, and also doing her best to help her in a 2 on 1 type of situation.

Angelina and Velvet crashed the match to join commentary which led to a great little line from Tenay “right in the midst of this three way…… excuse me”.

Madison obviously got more annoyed with Brittany and in the end hit her. Angelina and Velvet made their way to the ring to try and help Brittany win but instead assisted Gail Kim who dropped Brittany with “eat defeat” and is now the Number One Contender.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Brittany joins The Beautiful People, only for them to abuse her and beat up or something. Also remember Taryn Terrell is expected back, would be pretty neat if she were to join up with The Beautiful People too. Not to mention the Von Erich’s are coming to Slammiversary, so perhaps a possible reunion with Lacey isn’t out of the question either.

MVP vs. Eric Young

Yes the main event is here, and it’s the very same main event they were planning for Slammiversary. And it was boring.

Lashley and King beat down EY before he got in the ring, MVP power-bombed EY into the Corner Turnbuckle which looked very, very dangerous how he landed.

In the end MVP just got a Chair and beat up EY getting himself disqualified and thus giving EY a victory so he can pick the stipulation. MVP’s plan of course was just to beat down on EY, which makes sense I suppose.

EY chooses a cage match. And thankfully MVP injured himself recently on a house show and cannot compete tonight, so the match has since been changed, which actually makes the card much more exciting.

So rather than having EY vs. MVP in a Cage for the World Championship, EY will instead face the Winner’s of the Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe and Kenny King vs. Austin Aries matches in a Triple-Threat Cage Match for the Main Event. So well done, the main event is now a little more exciting, and two randomly booked mid card matches (aside from King and Aries to be fair, should be awesome) are now much more interesting.

Speaking of Slammiversary!

Willow (/Abyss) vs. Magnus (w/Bram)

Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim – Knockouts Championship

Bully Ray vs. EC3 – Texas Death Match

Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe – Number One Contender – Main Event

Kenny King vs. Austin Aries – Number One Contender – Main Event

James Storm vs. Mr. Anderson

EY – vs. winners – Triple Threat – Steel Cage- World Heavyweight Championship

Plus the Von Erich’s, plus the TNA Hall of Fame inductee 2014.

Should be a good night, I aim to have my Write up for Wednesday!

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson



TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)


Monday Night Raw #1073: December 16, 2013!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

What is wrong with you muthaf***az? Randall becomes the Undisputed Champion, y’all b!tching, If Cena won, y’all b!tch about his 5 moves and how he won’t turn heel. If it was a screw job, y’all b!tch about how the match was spoilt. Seriously right now? I am NOT A WRESTLING FAN. The PPV was actually good, and just because sh!t didn’t go your way, like Dolph Ziggler losing to Fandango, or Daniel Bryan not the champion, you are quick to say the PPV sucks. F**k that – YOU SUCK!

I look at you all in disgust.  RAW #1073! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!


Good Gawd Almighty Stephanie you are looking f**kable tonight!!!! Triple I hope you do what’s BEST FOR BUSINESS!!!

I was hoping for a big ceremony, bringing out the entire roster to bring out the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion!

Look at Daniel Bryan and John Cena looking at Ladies Favourite Randall Keith Orton!!! They BEX like they just watched X-Factor and sh!t!!!

Come on Randall you are a fighting champion aren’t you??? Don’t you wanna face Daniel Bryan for the title??? You made me proud at the PPV, now you must maintain!!! Oh no.. I hear the IWC complaining again… you have the right to shut the f**k up! Your hero could win here!!!

“It’s hard to get into the game, but once you get on top… can you stay there???”

(Sample from Method Man – Grid Iron Rap, 1998)

The results of the tag team contest at the PPV had the fans wanting an encore with Rey Mysterio and Big Show Vs The Rhodes Brudda…so let’s get into it…

What’s with the commentators selfie photos while the wrestling contest is on? DISRESPECT!!!! I like how JBL cusses Michael Cole for not calling the match when he was doing it himself!!! Let me tell you something – Selfie photos have existed since the beginning of time… well ok not exactly the beginning but muthaf***az acting like it’s some fashion trend… selfies are not cool… that got Obama’s @$$ in trouble last week with his first lady!

OBAMA DISRESPECMan!!!! You can’t make a mistake against Big Show like Goldust did! PPPPPP!!!! Rey Mysterio splash – BLAOW!!! Took out the tag team champions!!! WHOA!

Can somebody tell me where this Bad News Barrett gimmick is going? This is wack homes! FIX UP!!!!

I gotta love the authoritaah! Telling Randall to calm his brief because he’s barling about defending his title! But Cena is right! Actually f**k Cena… Peter Parker uncle dun tell him – with great power, comes great responsibility… so STOP YOUR NOISE AND DEFEND YOUR BLODCLART TITLE!!!

Summer Rae – you fine as a muthaf***a but you beat my created female character on WWE2K14… don’t worry… I will brukk you up next time I play… and then after that… I’m gonna long d!ck you… and break your ovaries!

Now since Fandango Vs Dolph Ziggler is a rematch from the YouTube match…. so I ain’t watching this sh!t!!!!

Oh no… not the muthaf***!n Real Americans…. BURN THAT WE THE PEOPLE FLAG!!!


Gotta love it! Big E Langston man handling the Real Americans and mark Henry is there on the apron saying – THAT’S WHAT WE DO!!!!

Remind me to assign the Junkyard Dog move on Mark Henry’s move set on WWE2K14!

I love that JBL was cussing the fact that Big E stopped Cesaro dropping the giant swing on Mark Henry, but I love the fact that Big E & Mark Henry won!!! YES!!! BRUKK UP THE RACISTS!!!

Haha that Christmas Raw promo was jokes!!! Sandow as Bad Santa and my girls AJ Lee and Tamina as the evil elves!!!! Raw should be pure joke next week!

Is that how it goes down in the streets Broadus Clay? Not tagging Albert and arguing with my favourite Nubians????

Big ups to R-Truth and Xavier Woods! Take the Funkadactyls from Broadus Clay yes!!! Make them dance and drop two foot!!! But I stress that the music should be changed… now let me see…

Show me the Go Go Wine Cameron & Naomi!!!

I was wondering when CM Punk would start going after Triple Teef and the authority…. but I wasn’t expecting for HBShizzle to come out!!!

But seriously Shawn… you keep making these appearances like this on a regular you are only leading yourself into temptation of coming out of retirement… I thought you were a christian boy?

If CM Punk defeated The Shield alone, going against them again this time with The Uso brudda should be a walk in the park!!!

JBL is brilliant! Cussing Michael Cole for sticking up for John Cena and then goes on to back Randall’s plea to let him celebrate his moment as opposed to defending the title…

…and after crazy high-flying ruckus, who was it that got the win for the Shield again? ROMAN REIGNS!!! HE’S DA MAN!!! They can defeat big teams but cannot manage one man??? Makes no sense!!!

As much as I love WWE2K14… it is NOT the hottest video game out thereBDSIR LAYLA GRANTtoday… the hottest video game doesn’t come out til June 2014!!! Oh hang on the Wyatts…

Oh no they are not done with Daniel Bryan! If he won’t walk with the reapers, he will burn with the saints???? All because what, he has a beard similar to theirs??? Maybe I would GET IN THE CHAIR!!! And they might leave me alone! If I was Daniel Bryan that is… he has a sexy Bella to marry for goodness sake!

You call the Bellas and here they are! Teamed with Natalya Vs Alicia Fox, AJ Lee and Tamina…. I know who I’m backing!!! Ooooooh I’d love to get my hands on…. rather I’d love Tamina to get her hands on me!!!!

Oh lawwd when Alicia grabbed Brie’s leg and dragged her off the top rope that sh!t looked like it hurt!

If Tamina was my girlfriend what would I get her for Christmas???? I’d get her… a Wu-Tang Sword!!!

WU-TANG SWORD STYLE 2…and an advanced copy of the Wu-Tang new album ‘A Better Tomorrow!’

Good lord did you see Tamina kick down Nikki Bella like that???!!! BLAOW!!! NOSE BRUKK!!! I love my b!tch!!!


Damn Daniel Bryan straight f**k!n up Randall’s legs here!!! Take out the legs, he can’t kick him in his head… nor can he stand to drop the RKO!

On the flip side, The Evil One targets Bryan’s arm…. mashing that up will disable the YES Lock super move!

Ha! look at you fickle fans! Not wanting this match to happen again, and after superplexes, frankensteiners off the top rope, kicks to the head top, now you fools are chanting ‘THIS IS AWESOME!!!’ You’re more difficult to understand than women!!!


And after all that!!! Daniel Bryan was on the way to winning, and then the evil one punches Bryan in his d!ck!!! DISQUALIFICATION!!! TEEEEEEEEEF!!! John Cena runs down to check on his bredrin, what happened to him? RKO – BLAOW!!! Well looks like the WWE Universe – and the IWC for that matter has no choice but to kiss his @$$ like Eddie in the Golden Child!













Smack Talk Centre Raw – Monday Night Raw #1055: August 12 2013



Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Monday Night Raw #1055: August 12, 2013!!!

YO! YO! Put your f**k!n fingaz up, muthaf***az! Coz if you don’t give a f**k like we don’t give a f**k PUT YOUR MUTHAF**K!N FINGAZ IN THE AIR!!!

OFFICIAL Smack Talk Centre Summerslam Theme Song: Ja Rule & The Murderers – ‘We Don’t Give a F**K’

This is how it goes down! Once friends now enemies fighting over a leather briefcase! NXT Sistrins now NXT Nemesis team up with their respective men to go at it tag team style! Someone is gonna get BURNT! Can David bring down Goliath? Will the IWC go YES! YES! YES! or NO! NO! NO! and make angry YouTube videos forgetting to wash themself first?

It’s the RAW before SUMMERSLAM!!!! #1055! HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZBefore I go in, I just wanna say that Total divas on E! is THE MOVE! Ssssssssshhhh! Don’t tell the wrestling purists! They will get mad if you watched Total Divas over G1 CLIMAX this past weekend! F**K THAT – IT’S ABOUT A WOMAN’S WORTH! I don’t watch wrestling 24-7 jabroni!!!

I should have known that if Brad Maddox is the referee, something was gonna go down with the Wack Barrett Vs Danielson match…. Danielson missed the YES Kick, Barrett rolls up the kid, and the scrawny Maddox used a fast count!!!! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF! Look at the sissy Maddox reminding Danielson that he can shut down the main event if Danielson does something rash… I would have f**ked him up same way, because I know Triple would rectify the situation right! GM or no GM, Danielson you should have kicked him down! You think Austin would have thought twice? it would be an instant STUNNER!!!

I wanna big up Cody Rhodes… you know why? He threw that stupid fisher price My First Briefcase in the drink a few weeks ago, and now Sandow get himself a nice sensible leather briefcase! Very good Cody! I still hope Sandow f**ks you up at Summerslam! Don’t expect much praise from me!

Interesting… Cody Rhodes claims that Sandow WILL NOT become the World Heavyweight Champion before he does…. WELL THE GRANT SAYS you might be right… but the moment you’re champion and you just had a gruelling match, who do you think would cash in his cheque against you??? You wanna think about that!

Why is there all this talk about Sandow & Randall cashing their cheque at Summerslam? I can sorta understand in the case of Randall… but let me tell you NOW: They are NOT gonna cash in!!! It’s what everyone expects! F**K THAT! Come check me next week and know that I’m right!

Big ups to Dean Ambrose!!! He just said that if the ghost of André The Giant is not in the Battle Royal then NO ONE STC Summerslam 2013CAN BEAT HIM for the US Title!!!  Now the rest of the Summerslam card is getting put together!

Wack theme song that WWE has chosen…. some bullsh!t @$$ tune by 2Chainz? We don’t do that over here THIS IS THE STC! Cage Amateurs UK! THIS IS HIP HOP! (Just check the tune above, top of the blog!

Yo CM Punk, I asked you before, I’ll ask you again… did you just quote another hip hop quotable? “You come at the King, you best not miss…”???? Sorry readers you don’t follow…. observe…

Big ups to Big E Langston! He said what I’ve said all along…Ziggler needed him to win his matches… Langston didn’t need Ziggler at all! YES! That’s the SISSY you support! Some of you have sons, and you are telling your sons that a wrestler wearing pink brief and whines himself and ‘twerks it’ is OK????? WAKE THE F**K UP MUTHAF***AZ!!!

SHOCK! HORROR!!!! Natalya defeated AJ! No need to go to specsavers – YOU SAW RIGHT!!! Natalya won a match!!! Natalya for women’s champion STRAIGHT AWAY!!!

UH OH!!! Somebody’s in trouble…trrrrouble… TRRROUBLE!!! Brad Maddox must answer to Vincent Kennedy!!! He could be fired right now!!!

Now he wants to be the ref for Cena Vs Danielson at Summerslam????? TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!

GRANT - BODY - P…and just as Vincent Kennedy was about to appoint the Sissy Maddox guest referee, Triple puts a stop to that ONE TIME! Now Triple Teef is the guest referee!!!! Right you unwashed IWC idiots, I hear you saying ‘Overkill’ on the main event, why don’t you shut the f**k up for a minute… Triple claims he’s got everything on lock, I’m not so sure! Last time I check, Triple was the ref for the John Cena Vs CM Punk match two years ago, and what happened? Kevin Nash f**ked it up for CM Punk!!! Just reminding you… IT’S WHAT I DO!!!

That’s it Kane! Out-think the Wyatt massive! I see you rude boy! Using an Undertaker mind game! Disappear out the ring and appear at the other side!!! Drop the FYRE on em!!! the fire is the purification!!! But yo! Bray Wyatt is loving everything!!! This Ring of Fire/Inferno match is gonna be MAAAAAAAAD!!!!

You know what’s even better at Summerslam? 2 Divas matches!!!! Brie Bella and Natalya catch up!!! Natalya gave the b!tch slap last week – Brie turns the other cheek! She’s only doing what was written in the good book! Brie is bringing her girls – Nikki and that troublesome red-head Eva Marie, Natalya bringing my favourite Nubians – Cameron & Naomi! YEAAAH BOYEEEEE! You jabronies hit the bathroom at that time – give me a bucket of fried chicken and a supermalt and I’ll enjoy this sh!t!!! Yeah! I’m not a pro wrestling fan so what!!!! At least not any more!!!

Oh f**kin hell, These so-called Real Americans… time to have a p!$$…. Oh Zeb Coulter SHUT THE F**K UP…

Hold up – did Zeb just wish death on 2.5 so called ethnic minorities??? If you still a Coulter fan I am liable to punch you in your f**k!n mouth.

Ok Usos – don’t let these bigots beat you this time! If they beat you, you have disgraced Rikishi, Haku, Superfly Snuka, Umaga, Tamina, Roman Reigns, The Rock, and most importantly, High Chief Peter Maivia!!!!

YES! YES! YES! YES! I’m feeling like Danielson right now!!! GWARN USOS!!! The stars and legends are proud!!!! IT’S ALL ABOUT THIS SAMOAN FIST!!!!

Now for some serious sh!t…. The Miz got Cena and Danielson on his show, and was told by Danielson to stop his noise before he boxes him in his mouth! Cena spouts the same sh!t, it is real talk what he says though, he deals with critics every day, he knows he hears them (and by that, he means you IWC) go on about his 5 moves of doom and his make a wish stories… but Danielson says he’s in this sh!t for the WRESTLING!! That Cena is a parody of this wrestling sh!t!!! Which weighs out more? Hold up Cena used the dreaded W word – WRESTLING! BACKSIDE!!!! Yo I gotta song for the both of you, but before I do, Cena goes on like he’s beaten everybody…. NEWSFLASH!!! You haven’t beaten Undertaker rude boy! Now for the tune…. It’s a shame, people in the rap game, only in it for the fame extra-large!!!!

Cena is not a WRESTLER? The respect isn’t there? Triple comes out to maintain order? Randall reminds em what he got in his hand? SH!T JUST GOT REAL!

Now let’s have some fun… what the f**k has R-Truth done to his hair???? Has he relaxed his hair or something?

Quote of the night comes from Jerry Lawler – “I bet you wanna dance with Summer Rae, dial 1-800-YOU WISH!!”

Don’t you love that when Fandango gets buss arse, he still can breathe enough to say what his name is? Why does Summer Rae continue to hang around with this sissy?

Ok Battle Royal jump off!!!! The winner, gets to fight Dean Ambrose for the US Title…. in YouTube!!!! Is it worth the hassle? I could back certain guys here but it’s for the US title, I mean big up to Ambrose for putting prestige on it, but it’s like, you dep pon YouTube!

Big up Kofi for using crazy skillz and agility to hold out in the Battle Royal! But those racist bastards had to eliminate him didn’t they? BACKSIDE! Well at least Usain Bolt and Shelly-Ann Fraser Pryce represented in the championships lately! Trust in my hero Mark Henry to eliminate the racist bastards! THAT’S WHAT HE DO!!! RESPECT!

Big ups to RVD for taking Mark Henry out to face Dean Ambrose! It’s a shame we won’t see them fight at the gathering unless someone hooks up YouTube on their iPh- “WELLLLLLL, IT’S THE BIG SHOW!!!” BACKSIDE!!! Just when the Shield was gonna move in on Mark Henry and RVD, Mr Iron Clad contract appears ready to bring the ruckus! Did you see the look on Seth Rollins face??? He was like – OH SH!T!!!! Now I get it!!! RVD fights Ambrose, Mark Henry & Big Show combine their force against the tag team champions. As for the Ryback….sh!t just hasn’t been the same since John Cena called the Ambulance on his @$$!!!

Ok here’s the main event! Yo what happened to Heyman’s ECW music???? Sound bwoy! DJ! Fix up man!

Summerslam MarvelIT’S A TRAP!!! Screamed the IWC and the WWE Universe! Well no sh!t Sherlock!!! Now according to Heyman, it’s up to Punk to play the ‘stupid hero’ and get buss arse, or not turn up at all and be a ‘smart coward’. Thankfully for Punk, he was neither… Wolverine knows about stealth techniques!!!! Disguised as a camera man, took the camera, beat it over Brock’s head with it – BLAOW!!!!! Grabbed a chair, took advantage of the fallen beast – slam it in his back bone – BLAOW!!! Heyman’s legs did run!!! And again, not one scratch pon him face!!!! It’s just like Paul Bearer back in the day – he always got away from getting buss arse by Undertaker after the betrayal and once Undertaker got his hands on Bearer – his goose cook! And soon that will happen to Heyman!

Now earlier in the blog I said that the quote of the night came from Jerry Lawler, well our survey says – NOT REALLY! It came from a random fan and it went a little something like this:

Cena: I’ve beaten HBK, Triple, JBL, The Rock, CM Punk…

Daniel Bryan: You call their names like they are better than me…

Random fan: THEY ARE!!!!