Tag Archives: wrestlemania

Monday Night Raw #1081: February 10, 2014

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

As this blog was written on the 11th anniversary of his passing, this blog goes out to the man call Curt Hennig a.k.a. Mr Perfect (Live On Live Long…)

Big ups to Mike Knoxxx and BDSIR Network Perfect Plex Radio – they put me on to a wrestling themed hip hop mixtape… they played some tune on their show and I was like YOOO!! I NEEDS THAT!!! And if you are a hip hop/wrestling head, YOU NEEDS THIS TOO!!! Fred Knuxx! RapMania!

http://www.datpiff.com/Fred-Knuxx-Rapmania-mixtape.319314.html

Yo WWE! ever thought of doing an Aggression II hip hop album??? Matter of fact don’t bother, if it’s anything like that wack sh!t you play on your PPVs, I gotta steel chair back here ready to clap in your head!

Y’all asked for CM Punk, you get Betty White from the Golden Girls! NOW SHUDDUP! Before Mark Henry inducts your punk @$$ (Pun intended) into the HALL OF PAIN and says – THAT’S WHAT I DO!!! RAW #1081, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZYeah let’s get this sh!t started! Betty White in the hiz-house! IWC – SHUT THE F**K UP… Gotta say Betty White came at the right time, she knew what happened to Mae Young (God Bless Her Soul) back in the attitude era and the Dudleys! Betty says she’s gonna kick some @$$! UH OH I think she means that sh!t!!

Look at the Authoritaaah killing teet at Big Show! haha!!! Big Show looking at Triple like ‘I ain’t forgotten muthaf***a!’ And as for Stephanie… Valentines draws near… come here girl I got something for ya…

Good to see that this crowd ain’t chanting CM Fool’s name!!!! YEAH I SAID IT! I respect the guy, tired of hearing about him. GET OVER IT. He would have left in July anyway!

Randall don’t give me joke!!!! Kissing Stephanie’s @$$ – I don’t blame ya!!! Daniel Bryan just put you on BLAST!!! Him talk about – Randall planting one on Stephanie’s lips!!! But come on guys… wouldn’t you???

Randall & StephanieI warn you readers from now – I WILL GO PROFANE on this blog this week! (What else is new Grant???) haha good point!

OK 6-Man Tag Team jump off! Rey Mysterio! The Rhodes Brudda, the Wyatt Man Dem! LET’S GO!

You know what’s mad about the Wyatt man dem? The more you beat them down, the more they like it! It does remind me of Mankind back in the day, I remember my boy Undertaker used to buss up his clart… but Mankind was smiling and sh!t!!! That’s f**ked up!

The commentators better watch what they ask for? Nominating each other to be in the Shield Vs Wyatt match at the Elimination Chamber??? You know Triple TEEF is listening…

INFAMOUS TWITTER AMUSEMENT:
Vince McMahon ‏@VinceMcMahon 9h

I have a date with @BettyMWhite tonight on #RAWpic.twitter.com/vs6yf14NcX

THE GRANT SAYS: …..DUTTY BWOY!!!! You wait til I tell Linda!!!

Oh lawwd – Rey Mysterio was gonna go for the 619 and ran into Sister Abigail – BLAOW!!!! Unlucky kid!

YES ROMAN!!!! You refer to Renée Young as ‘Babygirl’?!! YOU DUN KNOW!!

So that’s how it goes down in the streets? Emma-lution is gonna ride with Santino on some comedy sh!t??? Ok this is the time I should make my pudding.. then agin if Santino is fighting Fandango… that can only mean one thing… SUMMER RAE!!! I’d f**k her with her Strictly Come Dance frock on! (shout out to Susanna Reid… I never realised how fine she was until she went on that show!)

Susanna ReidI would tear her pu$$y up for breakfast! PUN INTENDED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ok Sheamus & Christian! It’s all about this IRISH & CANADIAN FIST!!!! DESTROY THE FAKE @$$ AMERICANS!

Hmmmm interesting… Antonio Cesaro claims that he will be the next Undisputed champion and Swagger gave Cesaro a dirty look… yo I pointed that sh!t out first Michael Cole!

The crowd chanting We The People – unless you supporting Cesaro get out of my f**!ng face…

Loving this! Cesaro dropping them bows to Sheamus and the Great White is like – COME ON MUTHAF***A BRING IT!!!

OH SNAP! My stream froze as I type this! Serves my right for watching Raw illegally! What a good thing it wasn’t the Elimination Chamber!!!

…and now my stream comes back on, who do I see? Dolph muthaf***!n battybwoy. I hope my dude Bertie brukks up his arm!!! Right – to the kitchen! Make that pudding!

Grant & LeannaOk I’m back. now back to our regular scheduled programme… who’s the next Hall Of Famer??? We gonna find out – LET’S GO!

Oh snap!!! Did I miss Batista Powerbomb Bertie’s clart through the announce table???!!! F**k you Ziggler for making me miss that sh!t!!!

BACKSIDE!!! LITA IN THE HALL OF FAME!!!!! BIG UP!!! IT WAS WORTH IT! YOU MAKE EDGE PUT IT IN!!!! YOU TURNED AGAINST MATT HARDY AND IT WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD!

LitaLita HOF

What I wanna know is – why would the New Age Outlaws wanna spike Betty White’s drink??? What are they tryna accomplish? Answers on a postcard please – @MZATheInfamous!!!

Hmmm… The Uso brudda vs Rybaxel… do you think they will let Rybaxel win on the anniversary of Mr Perfect’s return to the essence?

What’s wrong Billy Gunn? You don’t look too well!!!

OH SNAP!!!! Curtis Axel lost!!! But it was the way it happened! The Uso brudda flew over the top rope, tagged his bredrin in mid-air!!!! F**k!n awesome!

Oh dear! I think Billy Gunn’s stomach hurts!!!! If I was the WWE locker room, I wouldn’t go in the bathroom, for about 35-45 minutes! Somebody open the window!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WWE announced their theme tune for Elimination Chamber: Nero – Doomsday. F**k that – it’s good but THIS is the STC official theme tune for Elimination Chamber! Shout out to STC’s Bossman – Jamie Maverick Shields!

Well Ambrose wanted an open challenge for his US title.. look who stepped through!!! THE DON!!! MARK HENRY! AMBROSE YUH GOOSE COOK! and Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins stirring the dutchpot like they making Saturday soup!

Oh dear! Ambrose get himself disqualified! I mean Mark Henry was fighting them off with his bad arm but then Roman Reigns with the spear – BLAOW!!!

Next thing you know the Wyatt man dem appear! Looks like a stare down on the chessboard!!!! F**k that – this is the official tune for this particular match!

WTF is Wiz Khalifa doing at WWE with his funny looking self? Foolish individual!

Shout out to Bobo Brazil!!!! Now we know that he did teach Rocky Johnson how to put Boots 2 Asses!!!!

DAYUUUUUM 6 Diva tag team jump off! Cameron and the Bella Twins! AJ, Aksana and Alicia Fox!!! GO LADIES!!!

I wanna take this time to say happy birthday to a true cougar in wrestling – LISA MARIE VARON a.k.a. Victoria/Tara!!! SHE JUST DON’T KNOW!!! She needs some young meat! I bet she can suck good cocky!!! It’s only strong ruff neck ninjas that can handle her! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!

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Victoria DOES NOT wanna meet me word up! She would feel the wrath of my anaconda literally!

OH SNAP!!! Cameron picks up the win over Aksana with her super move – Girl-Bye! You know what that is – revenge for what Aksana did to Naomi last week when she took out her eye! GWARN GIRL!

Don’t you think that russian chick reminds you of Drago’s missus in Rocky IV back in the day? She’d get it too!

Wait a minute – I thought my hero Kane wasn’t here???? OH SNAP! Daniel Bryan has snapped!!! Kicking my hero Kane all over the ring! Why have I got this feeling that this is how Daniel Bryan DOESN’T win the chamber? Yeah I said it… go on IWC get upset like you usually do, you see I don’t take this wrestling sh!t as serious as you do, I take it make joke. The minute you start getting serious about pro wrestling as a fan – YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

…and I don’t know why you’re b!tching for – I’m sure Triple H and The Rock faced each other more times than Randall and Johnny!

INFAMOUS TWITTER AMUSEMENT:

John Cena ‏@JohnCena 10h

Ok self, body is beat to hell, everything feels like slow motion, big night tonight. Focus up, begin to move, find a way #nevergiveup

THE GRANT SAYS: I don’t know how you see it, but was that a dart thrown at your saviour CM Punk??? So many stories surrounding his ‘departure’… including Punk’s body ‘beat up’….

Haha Cena did you seriously think that Randall was gonna fall for your 5 moves of doom??? You faced each other so many times! STEP YO GAME UP! YOU ARE FIGHTING IN FRONT OF THE WRESTLEMANIA SIGN!

MEANWHILE IN CHICAGO…Punk Midas drink

Don’t think I didn’t see you IWC jabronies making a big deal about this and whose drink it was… THE GRANT SAYS, unless Mr Brooks is standing next to me and knocking that drink back and he got me to record that sh!t and put it on YouTube… then simply put you guys need to SHUT THE F**K UP!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Me garne ah mi bed, and gonna have dirty filthy dreams about Victoria… dreams of f**k!n a WWE b!tch, I’m playin.. I’m jussayin…!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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Monday Night Raw #1080: February 3, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

I know you hate me, don’t you
I bet you sit and wish my time never came
You probably rather see me die in the game
You probably rather see me die in a plane
Well ya’ll see me up on top of my dough
I get my money sh!t changed…
(Scarface, In Between Us, 2001)

You jabronies act like the world has come to an end! Your saviour walked out on yo’@$$ for YOUR SINS… you can make it like the WWE didn’t book Mr Brooks in the main event of WrestleMania… but the TRUTH is – it is YOU who didn’t support Phil properly, you chant his name, but you don’t lead a straight edge life like I do.. you don’t put your hand in your pocket to support him… you would rather stream the PPV for free then complain afterwards because John Cena kicked out at 2. You claim to be CM Punk followers but you don’t follow his prophecies… That’s like reading the bible but you’re not being fruitful, and multiply!!!! YES, I am the Infamous Informer, Your favourite heel, and it’s YOUR FAULT!!! Don’t blame the WWE on some pass the buck sh!t… it’s YOUR FAULT! All this Best For Business sh!t is JUST THAT – BUSINESS… It’s not BEST FOR YOU!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Life goes on – DEAL WITH IT! RAW #1080! HOL ‘DAT – BLAOW!!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZHere comes Mr 2 Belts! Ladies Favourite Randall TEEF Orton! Didn’t I see the Seahawks wield the WWE Title after they won the Superbowl? I think I did! I gotta find that pic…

And immediately the crowd are chanting for CM Punk!!! Forget it!!!! He’s not coming! He’s sitting in his yard eating yogurt, chocolate bon bons!!! Probably drinking Pepsi and sh!t!

Lawwwd have mercy Stephanie is telling Randall about himself! Is it me or is she and Triple throwing shots at CM Punk subliminally?

Randall is such a biatch that now the authority are actually considering making Danny the face of the company – that is if Danny defeats Randall?

I have a question for you wrestling dorks: Why do you always say that Triple ‘buries’ people? And he uses a shovel? Don’t you realise that he has a HAMMER in his office? He doesn’t use a bloody shovel you PEA – BRAINS!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

6-man jump off!!! The Shield Vs Langston, Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston! I LIKE THIS! LET’S GO!!!

It’s good to see the crowd backing Rey here. That justifies the confusion about the rumble… Rey knows he was only booed because he was #30 and Danny didn’t get a look in.

Is it me or is Roman Reigns busted open after Langston brukk up his clart?!!

OH SNAP!!! So it ain’t just Bray that can talk that cryptic sh!t! Now one of the other bwoy can talk sh!t and whistle??? While the other dude with the buzzard mask don’t say sh!t??? WROOOOY! Gotta say this battle with the Shield Vs The Wyatts is WrestleMania quality! When was the last time you saw the Shield shook in the ring?

CAN I HAVE SOME DECORUM PLEASE!!!! AND SHUDDUP! BECAUSE I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS!!! (RECORD SKIP!!!) Hold on, Jerry Lawler tells Barrett that he may not be around next week? What does he mean by that???? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me @MZATheInfamous! Don’t be shy!!

Yes I did hear that Christian was back in the hiz-house!!! Come on Christian! for your Canadian brothers! Do it for my Canadian girlfren!!! Don’t let that dyam arse Swagger beat yuh!

Grant & Leanna

YES!!!! Christian GOT HIM!! Hahaha!!! Swagger you sir are WACK!!!! If I was you Zeb Colter I’d kick him out of the States!!! WE THE MUTHAF***!N PEOPLE MUTHAF***A!!!

OH SNAP!!! The steel cage ah come down now???? New Age Outlaws! The Rhodes Brudda! Someone is about to get F**KED UP in that muthaf***a!!! LET’S GO!!

Betty White to be a guest star on Raw next week? I would have asked who in the blue hell she is but Jerry Lawler just told me so it’s all good… The Golden Girls is classic but what about Desperate Housewife? And how come I can’t get that Devious Maids pon my telly??? No secret – I have such a crush on Roselyn Sánchez…. every time I see her something happens to my d!ck…

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JBL asks, who does the crowd chant for? The New Age Outlaws, or the Rhodes Brudda? Since they can’t decide, they opted for chanting CM Punk! How many times have I gotta tell you fans – CM Punk ain’t coming back!!!! Stop chanting his name – he doesn’t give a f**k about you!!! He didn’t get his muthaf***!n Ice Cream bars… now he’s a big baby!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

AAAH – HAAA!!! Mike Cole  hit the jackpot! New Age Outlaws now tag team champions because of the corrupted Triple TEEF!!!!! Best For Business I was told…. well yeah! We like to see these mans because they still got it!

I think that was actually a 3 count right there by Ref Mike Chioda!!! Cody Rhodes got robbed! Cody thinks f**k that – I’m climbing to the top of this muthaf***a, Moonsault on Road Dogg – BLAOW! Then Billy Gunn thought – ah yuh b!tch!!!! Fame-Asser – BLAOW!!!! THAT WAS CRAZY!

LAWWWD HAVE MERCY!!! Zack Ryder dep pon de telly!!!! Oh yeah I heard that Titus O’Neill turned evil against Darren Young… this is the Infamous Informer and I’m your favourite heel and this was what Titus was thinking all along…

W’happen? Zack Ryder lost again? What else is new? Told y’all muthaf***az – Zack Ryder is WACK!!!! He’s been WACK since 19 HOW LONG! GET OVER IT! And y’all still chanting for he who is not in the f**k!n building!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WTF???? WWE Supports BLACK HISTORY MONTH???? Ahmed Johnson where you at rude boy??? What must be going through his head???

While this dance off segment is bound to be dry, let’s talk about Summer Rae… the latest woman to be in the Total Divas series!

Hang on, maybe I should talk about this! Summer Rae dancing… I can feel the fangs in my gums growing! Now we gonna see this Emma-lution woman dance… she cyan’t dance!!! What the hell was that???? Sorry Emma you’re not getting in the bed with the Infamous Informer!!! GET IN THE CHAIR!!! Better yet, take out my majestic member! Put it between your wet lips! And suck!

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As much as I love Sheamus, he’s fighting Curtis Axel… this is the part where I put on my chocolate pudding… and you can’t have none! STOP CHANT THE BWOY BLODCLART NAME! GET OFF HIS D!CK! In Punk We Trust? I don’t trust that muthaf***a!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…AND I SAY YEAAAH!!! I WALK ALONE INSIDE THIS PIT OF DANGER!!! Batista in the hiz-house! Obviously the crowd have Tourette’s because they keep chanting one name… thank god for Bertie who is telling my good fren Batista about how it runs around the wrestling circuit – yes he’s talking for the IWC… but YOU BOO HIM… WHY???? You fans make me sick!!!

Dolph Z!&&l£r gets no time on my blog… with that said: I hope the Wyatt Family f**k him up!!! It’s Black history month – don’t f**k up R-Truth and Xavier Woods!

Uh oh my boy Mark Henry is coming back in effect next week! Brock Lesnar stay the f**k out the arena!!! (like he’s gonna listen to me!)

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! YES! Drop that Sister Abigail on that Pink shirt wearing spaghetti head muthaf***a! Hang on stop – the Shield!!! They are not afraid of the Wyatts! And Bray is laughing! he welcomes the war!!! Yo Triple! Any chance we can extend this feud to WrestleMania? Get some weapons up in there? I dunno, parking lot brawl? New Orleans street fight??? Only that it’s in a real street???

Hold up – now this Yusef dude is in the main roster, who’s the russian chick???? YO! Y’all can keep your beloved CM Punk – THIS IS GREAT! Now my favourite Nubian Naomi is in the ring with Aksana, AJ Lee on commentary – 232 days as champion??? Only 202 days to go AJ! Then you can bugger off with your boyfriend too!

…and going by AJ’s commentary she is dissing my girl Tamina…. I’m telling you these two will fight at WrestleMania and I am backing Tamina all the way!!!

Naomi got whole heap a move, she just revealed her new supermove – a moonsault similar to RVD! I’m telling you this girl is reppin for Black History! I would love for her to win the belt but it’s already destined for AJ vs Tamina at WMXXX… can you feel it???

Now there is a hero to be proud of! Danny Bryan! You know what? I respect the hell out of Phil Brooks but I’m the Infamous Informer, Your favourite Heel and I’m just gonna go ahead and say it….

F**K CM PUNK!!!!!

YEAH I SAID IT!!! GRANT BODY – P!!!

Batista stole Danny’s destiny at the rumble but CM B!tch walks out? I don’t blame him in certain ways but Phil that’s a B!TCH MOVE!

Come on Danny!!! Do this for the Seahawks!!! They respect and honor you!

Seahawks Danny Bryan

And they continue to chant for that b!tch during this match? DISRESPECT!!!! Worst crowd ever!!! HA! HA! HA! Nah I’m playing!

Why don’t you chant for Mark Henry? He’s not here? Chant Kane! Chant Brock! Hell – chant Stone Cold Steve Austin! Chanting for he that does not exist in your building who doesn’t even care about your @$$ – so disrespectful to Randall and Danny! They are putting on a great match and this is what you do?

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY Danny is f**k!n Randall up with those kicks!!! (I don’t hear you Theaker!!! Your boy Ziggler got f**ked up earlier! Got nuthin to say to me now have ya??!!!)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Danny’s shoulder is exposed.. now Randall is gonna f**k up that shoulder. Randall does that – Danny cannot execute the Yes Lock effectively… he can do his super dragon kick though!

OH SNAP!!!! Randall lost to Danny! My hero Kane tried to TEEF! maybe Triple sent Kane to bait it up and it backfired!!! UH-OH!!!! But Randall & Kane are not done! CHOKESLAM!!!! BLAOW!!! I thought he was the D.O.O.??? That mean seh he can’t touch nobody! I think Kane wants to be fired!!!! He don’t care about no muthaf***!n suit!

Talking of not caring… nor does CM Punk… look at him, looks like he’s reading a comic… maybe it’s an anime comic… maybe it’s Urotsukidoji!!!!

Punk in his yard

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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Smack Talk Centre Raw

STC NEW LOGO

What a LA-LA at the Royal Rumble! Just like the bossman of the Smack Talk Centre said: ‘The PPV was like meeting a hot woman on a date, she’s into you, you’re into her, you’re about to get that Drew & Derwin on, you know that wonderful night, only to find out she has a D!CK!!!’ The record skips and you are running for the hills. Next thing you know you find yourself on Jerry Springer Show…

Limo Blow up

Isn’t it ironic? That last week on Raw, Triple Teef told Randall to ‘Fix It and Make it Right’??? Now after the Rumble, the atrocity that was Danny not even in the Rumble, my good Wu-Tang friend Batista won the thing, now it’s TRIPLE TEEF that’s gotta fix it…and MAKE IT RIGHT! I think Vincent Kennedy should give Triple the ’30 days to turn WWE around’… or he’s FIRED!!!

 

Threats to boycott WWE Network, Mick Foley about to throw the brick through the TV, controversy hitting BBC News… SH!T IS CRAZY! RAW #1079! HOL’ DAT BLAOW!!

WWF PROPA TINGZOk get out here Triple TEEF! i don’t know why you’re smiling about!!!

Damn the fans still bex about Batista!! Hold up Stephanie talking about the chamber… and Danny waste no time coming out here!!! that’s it Danny! Kick down Triple!!!! The hottest superstar out today and he can’t even enter the rumble??? BLASPHEMY!!!

YES! YES! YES! Tell that Triple TEEF! You want in the Chamber and compete for that World Wrestling Federation Title!!! Tell him say he’s keeping you down! I guess the script writers got to work big time!!! I suppose it is INJUSTICE! Send for the Shield!!!

Sheamus is back in effect rude boy! Here comes Cena with his glow in the dark shirt! What’s that in his back pocket? You’re not a blood! you’re not a crip muthaf***a!!! that’s like a green handkerchief or some sh!t!! What are you tryna start a Cenation crew to go against the Bloods and the Crips???

Wait – I thought WWE can’t use that Sin Cara character again??? I see him teamed up with Mysterio, who was booed at the Rumble but we all know the boos were not meant for him coming out at #30…. let’s not talk about the rumble too much, don’t wanna wind up your b!tch @$$£$! You think I don’t know about that video of your fat @$$ tearing up the house because Danny wasn’t in the rumble???

Six man tag team match announced for Raw! The Shield Vs Danny, Johnny and Sheamus! Winning team goes to fight inna de Chamber! Well I think we know the winners here… like we can see Randall defending his title against the Shield & Brock Lesnar in the Chamber! But wait! I wouldn’t put it past WWE to throw Roman Reigns up in the Chamber! WATCH DI RIDE!!!

I never thought I’d say this but… BAD NEWS BARRETT!! You got me!!! That big out podium, you want some decorum??? I like that word!!! I had to google that sh!t!!!

dɪˈkɔːrəm/
noun
noun: decorum

1.
behaviour in keeping with good taste and propriety.
“he had acted with the utmost decorum”
synonyms: propriety, properness, seemliness, decency, decorousness, good taste, correctness, appropriateness;
politeness, courtesy, good manners;
refinement, breeding, deportment, dignity, respectability, modesty, demureness
“he had acted with the utmost decorum”

Jesus Have Mercy that Summer Rae!!! (Down boy! Down!!!) I feel the eyes rolling into the back of my head top!!! I was told I was ‘not normal’… to those who say that, THE GRANT SAYS – Thank You For The Compliment!

Not feeling that WrestleMania XXX theme tune!!! F**k that theme tune – The Infamous Informer got his own theme tune!!!!

 

Can someone tell me why every time Fandango is in the ring that NXT chick Emma is in the crowd??? Answers on a postcard please! Nah f**k that – tweet me – @MZATheInfamous!!!

HA HA! Batista pointing at the fans with a sign saying – ‘BooTista’!!!! And smiling about it! OH SNAP!!! Hold up – what are the fans chanting? I can’t hear th… oh hang on I got it – DANIEL BRYAN!!!

Better choice of jeans by the way Batista… stop wearing that skinny jeans sh!t!

While my good friend Batista tells Randall that he don’t business who him a fight, perfect opportunity for BRRRROCK LESSSNAR to come out – remember he said he was fighting the champion!!!

Look at BROCK!!! Screaming like a Beast at the Viper! I think the Viper looked like he got a bad case of diarrhoea!

So that’s how it goes down in the streets? Either Lesnar fights Batista, or he fights Randall for the title, or ELSE…. No one leaves Cleveland alive??? OH SNAP!

What the f**k? Battle of Cleveland match? Dolph Ziggler vs the Miz? Ok this is the part where I get my tea…. it’s cold out here!

Ok I’m back…. who won that match I missed it???

 

OH SNAP!!! THE ROCK GOT ME!!!

Damn I love that entrance by the Uso brudda! I love the Samoan chant, When they say Us, we say Os… then the pyro – BLAOW!!!! One of my favourites since the Batista entrance!

Meanwhile… big ups to Smack Talk Centre’s #1 Dutty Bwoy Lee Steadx for this one!

THE INFAMOUS NEMESIS!

Look at that fat muthaf***a! Makes me wanna give him two kick in his dutty mouth!

It’s the USOS TIME NOW!!! They defeated Dryback! I can’t believe one year ago Ryback was my Royal Rumble champion… look at him now… anyone would think he talked sh!t about Triple Teef and Stephanie!

Oh hang on – the next Hall Of Fame inductee??? Could it be the British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith???

As much as I like Bertie, I want Kofi to win this one… word up man can’t they give Kofi a push after he defeated Randall and his wild @$$ stunts at the Royal Rumble??? Look past the fact that he’s a black man who is more than capable of taking Summer Rae away from Fandango… well that ‘s if he was a bona-fide yardy!

Did someone just have a sign saying ‘Sting Vs Taker WM30′???? My eyes are razor-sharp like The RZA! Oh no the fans not feeling the match! Cheering JBL and now Jerry Lawler! They’re not chanting Michael Cole as well?!!!!

That same fool with that sign I mentioned earlier now has a sign saying ‘Cena Still Owns Rock’… I don’t care how much you paid for that ticket – you could have got some pu$$y with that money! And change left over to buy some muthaf***!n toothpaste and mouthwash after you had your dirty stinking mouth full of hair!

GRANT BODY – P!!!BDSIR LAYLA GRANT

Now the fans are feeling the match! Backing Kofi! Come on kid! Use your Guinness Punch skills! Use the ackee & salt fish! Calaloo! all that good sh!t us Jamaicans love to eat!

Oh snap… Bertie won… damnit! Yes – WWE2K14 is one of the hottest games out now.. that is until June when Ultra Street Fighter IV drop! It’s over for everybody tuh-blodclart!

Considering the New Age Outlaws are ‘heels’, they don’t convince me as heels! They are those guys you can never boo!

I love when the WrestleMania sign is hanging high in the arena… that sign makes you FIGHT YOUR BEST!!! Ever noticed that the quality of wrestling matches has improved???

Random thought – can you imagine if Goldust and Billy Gunn had a feud back in the New Generation/Attitude Era? Think about it, Billy Gunn’s alias is Mr A$$… and considering Goldust gimmick back in the day… Billy Gunn would be asking for trouble! Saying that, if it was TV14 now, Goldust would be going after Dolph Ziggler or Darren Young… imagine that sh!t! Even Darren Young wouldn’t want him!

NO WAY! Brock Lesnar fights nobody because the authoritaaah was rampin??? Now he’s dropping steel chairs on the Rhodes Brudda??? Doesn’t it remind you when Austin and Triple Teef were dropping Steel Chairs on the Hardys and Lita? My boys Kane & The Undertaker???? Hmmm… The Undertaker… (strokes long white beard)

YES!!!! GO LADIES!!! My Favourite Nubians! The Bella Twins! Aksana! Alicia Fox! Tamina! AJ Lee! They would all get my majestic member!

Good work by the camera man focussing on AJ Lee’s Bonita Applebum! that goes for Naomi’s badukadunk too!

 

Did you see that wild @$$ triple suplex???? I haven’t seen the guys do that! Hold on – Naomi pinned the Divas champion like – 3 times now??? WTF??? GIVE MY WOMAN A TITLE SHOT AJ! Stop being stingy! The battle of the @$$£$!!!

OH SNAP!!!! JAKE THE SNAKE DEP INNA DE HALL OF FAME!!! He didn’t make it to the rumble… but wrestlers be trippin’ when he throws that muthaf***a in the ring! I would be too! Them things can kill you! One bite and you’ve HAD IT!

HOF Warrior Jake

MAIN EVENT TIME! 6 MAN TAG TEAM JUMP OFF! WINNING TEAM GOES INTO THE CHAMBER!!! Michael Cole just mentioned CM Punk – I noticed we haven’t seen him today! Well bwoy after that chokeslam from my hero Kane he probably hasn’t got up from that! The question remains – does that mean that Kane will be fired from D.O.O.?

Crowd chanting for Roman Reigns! He is an OFFICIAL BAD MAN!!! Yo I loved when Michael Cole read the list of people’s that Reigns eliminated including JAY-BEE, in which Mr Layfield snapped – WILL YOU STOP READING THE STUPID LIST AND CALL THE MATCH!!! That sh!t is funny – JAY-BEE took off his jacket read to fight, Reigns dashed him out, and JAY-BEE put back on his jacket!!! I thought you were a wrestling…. GOD!!!

OH SNAP!!! The Wyatt Bwoy dem come to f**k it up for Cena! But that means they f**ked it up for the Shield to go to the chamber!!! Does this mean that the IWC may finally get the dream wank match that they have been craving for ever since the Wyatt Bwoy stepped on the scene? Could we see a 6-man Elimination Chamber Tag Team war between the Shield and the Wyatts???? It’s only right!!!! You can do it on WWE2K14!!!

Wait, I might be expecting too much then I get bex…. like a lot of these wrestling fools…

 

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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