Tag Archives: Wrestling

Monday Night Raw #1302, May 7, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

SERIOUSLY???

backlash-fans-leaving

WALKING OUT THE JOINT? It couldn’t have been THAT BAD???

Guys – he didn’t win the World Wrestling Federation Championship… you do know that right?

You know what – your actions makes me NOT wanna write this blog word up!

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…KANYE WEST. When Australia lock you off, and even Channel 4 takes the p!$$ out of you before Black-ish comes on… YOU F**KED UP!

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RAW 1302! Ok I do agree with you guys, Samoa Joe Vs Double R should NOT have been the main event… that’s taking the p!$$!

I got those big @$$ hula hoops, spicy chilli flavor, mint aero (actually I might put that back and wait for Smackdown because that’s Naomi flavour) and get the jaffa cakes… come on WWE give me some joke!

I am already experiencing problems with this stream, and with the mood I’m in, I might just switch it off, and put on that Cobra Kai thing on YouTube…  have you seen it yet? I’ve watched the first two episodes, and it’s already compelling! Good job Ralph Macchio!

Braun Strowman Vs Kevin Owens, winner goes through to Money Innah Bank… unlucky Kevin!!!

“THIS IS WHAT YOU DESERVE YOU COWARD!!!!”  Braun is f**k!n up Kevin Owens!

Check it – 4 superstars each from RAW & Smackdowns (Men & Women) will compete in the Money Innah Bank Ladder match… this is what I’m saying! STEP THEIR GAME UP! On the same token, this is on YOUR HEAD fans! You’re the ones like ‘cut down the PPVs’… so don’t come with your noise like ‘why is this guy not in it’??? SHUT THE F**K UP!

Happy Birthday Kevin Owens! Oh man! He really is getting birthday beatings!

HAHAHAHA!!!! The run around the ring and then box him down! PUT THAT MOVE IN WWE 2K19 PLEASE!!! What we do know… Braun is going to Money In The Bank… that’s worries for everybody!

The Big Dog is p!$$£d the f**k off!!! AND RIGHTFULLY SO! But what about Mr Lesnar? Aaaaaaah sheeeeeet he’s gonna beat the 434 streak for real!

Jinder thinks he should be in the Money In The Bank ladder match? He’s almost as insane as Kanye according to Jiggaman!

GRANT BODY-P!

Sasha Banks Vs Ember Moon Vs Ruby Riott… winner goes to Money In The Bank… Sasha girl you fine but backing Ember Moon here!!! OWWWWWWWW!!!

OH SH!T! Something went down in the crowd to make security escort them out the building! What the hell happened? Answers on a postcard please! Crowd was chanting YOU DESERVE IT! Don’t tell me someone was masturbating over Liv Morgan?

GRANT BODY-P!

The Riot Squad being teef with Sasha Banks! Bayley came down to help! But this enabled Ember Moon to hit the Eclipse on Ruby Riot – BLAOW!

Gotta love WWE right? Talking about Bobby Lashley’s career, and blatantly ignoring the

Renee ypung sexy ass

Photo courtesy of Edd Mulhall

TNA sh!t! Renee Young wants to know about Bobby Lashley the man… more like she secretly wants some BBC –

OH MY GOD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING!!! YO YO YO!!!! STOP IT!!!

Check it – Jinder Mahal must defeat Chad Gable…if he wants to get into the Money In the bank… wait – the Coach just said Chad reminds him of a young Kurt Angle… Jason Jordan are you watching this???

Jinder Mahal got the Collass on Chad Gable – BLAOW!!! But Mahal wanted to buss up Chad Gable after that… oh dear…

After all that!!!! Kurt Angle gave Jinder a NAUGHT! What a b!tch!

Who would want to Walk With Elias when you can Strut Gloriously with Bobby Roode??

There’s my pick right there!!! Bobby Roode to win the Money Innah Bank! Imagine the storylines going forward! Braun is too obvious… he would cause the most ruckus….actually he would be a good choice as well!

Who wants to test Seth Rollins for the Intercontinental Championship? Oh no… Mojo Rawley? This fool? Yo Seth – send for the TANDEM ENGINE!

Gotta admit – Mojo Rawley is going IN against Seth Rollins! But he couldn’t withstand the curb stomp – BLAOW!

Look at Rollins swinging the belt like a helicopter like his name is Petey Pablo!

Fancy that… The Deleater Of Worlds facing ‘Daxel’… Brother must fight brother! (Wyatt Vs Bo Dallas) This should be good!

Oh it’s finished already? Sorry I was playing Street Fighter…

GRANT BODY-P!

Finn Balor Vs Sami Zayn Vs Roman Reigns! Winner goes to Money Innah Bank! Imagine if Reigns won… oh boy oh boy!

OH SNAP! WWE is in the UK next week! Aaaah sheeeeeet! Get restraining orders ready for the following women: Natalya, Nia Jax, Naomi, Charlotte & Becky… if the Infamous Informer is within 10 feet of those lovely young ladies – arrest him on the spot!

WWE SPICE GIRLS

Jinder Mahal baited it up for Reigns! He’s gonna pay for that I will assure you!

Finn Balor hits the Coup De Grace on Sami Zayn! Balor advances! Are you happy now muthaf***az? Balor is on a PPV! Now shut the f**k up!

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1301, April 30, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

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Imagine! I’m supposed to talk about how Titus O Neill became a Shame of a Nation at the Greatest Royal Rumble… but someone from the Smack Talk Centre decides to tag me in the picture above… NIAAAAA JAAAAAAXXXX! She’s just baaaaaaaad! Imagine her riding your tings! Whining those hips! I am so surprised Redman hasn’t shown up to a WWE event yet… imagine a storyline with Nia & Redman… it would be the best ever!

Redman approves

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…AMBER RUDD. Now she knows what it feels like to be signing on at the Job Centre. I hope they take away her benefits, evict her, and send her back to… Timbuktu!!

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RAW 1301! I haven’t done this blogging thing in a while, lets see if I still got it!

Jerry Lawler calls it Bizarro Land, I call it THE PROMISED LAND! The home of my real life woman (Hi Leanna!) RAW is in Canada, and they are booing the hell out of Roman Reigns!

Come on Canada – it’s not like he retired The Undertaker!!!!

Oh dear! Canada you might as well start cheering Reigns – you boo Samoa Joe and now you boo Jinder Mahal!

Jinder Mahal believes he can win the Universal Championship! Wait – Sami Zayn gets cheered!!!! Well that’s alright then! we didn’t wanna boo him anyway!

Oh no – they might boo Bobby Lashley – he prevented Zayn from going to the Greatest Royal Rumbles! They might chant ‘YOU SCREWED BRET’ er I mean ZAYN!

GRANT BODY-P!

And now they cheer Kevin Owens! Would this technically mean Danny Bryan would get booed??? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me – @MZATheInfamous!

Well at least the crowd wanna see Roman Reigns fight! He gets butts in the seats!!!

Trust in Braun to clean house! He gets cheered – Can’t go wrong!

Oh no – Elias in concert? I didn’t pay to see him? I’m still hurt I didn’t get to see Killah Priest and Lords Of The Underground!!!

I gotta give Elias his props, I don’t think he was meant to get this over with the fans…

Oh no Bobby Roode f**ked up his throat! Elias announces himself as the winner… it would have been even better if Elias sent for the guitar and started singing about Roode’s throat! That would have been TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!

Wait a minute – two local French Canadian wannabe La Resistance fools wanna get buss arse by The Authors Of Pain?? They got entrance music too! WHOA! Did Barry Horowitz get that sh!t? Answers On A Postcard please!

Charly Caruso did ask the fools why…. they should have told her the truth – they wanna get a quick $3000!

GRANT BODY-P!

You know some fool at the Chiarshot  FB wrestling group asked – why Seth Rollins didn’t help join the six man tag match with Reigns & Lashley against Mahal & Sami & Kevin later? FOLLOW THE STORYLINE! WRESTLING IS STORYLINE! See that’s why fans don’t make any sense when they claim to book better than the official bookers! (Not saying that the WWE Bookers are perfect – they’re not) but fans are just that – FANS! KNOW YOUR ROLE!

I don’t think even Seth Rollins was prepared for this ovation! Anyone would think he was inducted in the Hall of Fame!

Ok enough of this French talk from the guys – let’s hear it from the women! (Not you Alexa you’re ugly)

GRANT BODY-P!

The crowd is crazy!!!! There’s probably some idiot sitting behind the computer screen like – ‘I want the attitude era’ back…

I can’t believe Curtis Axel & Bo Dallas wanted to form the 4 Horsemen with Balor and Seth! That’s disrespect to Flair! They must want Flair to take off his clothes in disgust!

ric-flair-strut-o

Oh yeah that goes for Ruby Riot – Do NOT SPEAK French!

But Sasha – you can speak French all day!!! OH YEAH!!!

backlash 2018

Even the boss lady was no match for the Riott Squad. She and Bayley (and maybe somebody else – Rousey maybe?) should stop being b!tches and combine their force!

Now I was gonna retire to my bed because I am mad tired – but yo – Titus is coming on! The star!!!!

But just before that – Alexa wants sympathy – she gets NONE FROM ME! As far as I’m concerned – she can GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE with her crocodile tears! And I hope she BURNS IN HELL!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

“This is for everybody who had a ‘Nia’ in their life”… Well THE GRANT SAYS – if ‘Nia’ looks like that – I WANT HER IN MY LIFE! GOD DAYUUUUUUUM!

Titus admitted that he took the L! What a good sport!! He’s smiling too! As usual Baron Corbin is hating… watch this – Corbin gonna lose!

As for Woken Matt Hardy & Wyatt… YAAWWWWWWNNN look at the time! Past my bedtime! (Nothing to do with the RAW Tag Team Champions, I am actually genuinely tired.) Goodnight wrestling fans, don’t let the Double R bugs bite you in your basement @$$!

GRANT WWDJC2

Good morning True wrestling fans! Welcome back, and I hope you are still joining in at home. I wake up this morning praising the lord for another day, but also contemplating how to get that God Of War game… like I want the game but I have so much going on I don’t want to regret it financially. Anyway enough rambling on, let’s watch the rest of RAW! Where’s my coffee at?

Drew Wackintyre & Dolph Ziggler think every superstar should be afraid… I don’t know about you but when you have guys like Bray Wyatt, Matt Hardy, The Authors of Pain, Bobby Lashley & Braun around… this is the part where I become my favorite superhero as I say this:

blade2

I know everyone’s favourite hero is Thanos right now… sorry – Blade is STILL DA MAN!

OH NO!!!!! Titus clearly using his misfortune and turning it into a positive to f**k up Baron Corbin! No Way Jose caught Corbin with a distraction roll up! I know Shadfather & Icy Fresh loves those! I think Corey Graves is on to something… No Way Jose joining Titus Worldslide??? I could slide to that!!!

I so cannot wait to see Alexa Blitch get BUSS ARSE by Nia Jax again! Alexa got life though this week because if Ronda Rousey ketch haar Alexa would be in a box! And we don’t want that now do we lads? It would be a sad day for you while I be Thanos laughing in your face!

GRANT BODY-P!

Great wrestling contest between Seth Rollins and Finn Balor – well do we expect anything less? Reversals galore, near falls, beautiful! Unlucky Balor – But you don’t have a match at Backlash though… er uh-oh! Therin lies WWE’s problem! So much talent its unreal.

A team with Double R, Lashley and Braun… there’s no way Sami Jinder and Kevin can beat them surely???

OH NO NOT AGAIN! Every time Sami & Kevin find their feet on the outside, Braun knocks them down again! But this move in WWE2K19 PLEASE!!!!! Make it a OMG! Moment! Because that sh!t is too funny!

Now…it’s gonna hurt me, but if I want God of War, Burnout Paradise will have to leave the building temporarily. Just like business, you have to make tough decisions. John and Nikki know all about tough decisions…

GRANT BODY-P!

STC 2018 logo3

Monday Night Raw #1294, March 12, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I wanna take this time to big up the newest Facebook wrestling group I am in: The CHAIRSHOT. They are supporting me and the BDSIR NETWORK. I sincerely hope they appreciate the style of blogs I do – This ain’t your usual review blog. I give my thoughts from a Jamaican man’s point of view (which means I don’t take this wrestling sh!t seriously, I use a lot of Hip Hop references, and my aim is to make you laugh. I was born in England of Jamaican descent.) Don’t expect me to talk technicalities in wrestling!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1294! JUST LIKE D12, IT’S FIGHT MUSIC!!!

Ok, I got 2 Chicago pizzas in the oven, a Miranda orange drink, and that marvellous Jamaica ginger cake for later… I got a feeling RAW is gonna be a good one!

Right – I’ve missed the first 20 minutes of this sh!t because of the wack streams. I heard Roman Reigns voice but that’s about it… I bet that doesn’t bother the haters!

Sonya Deville fine @$$ fighting Sasha Banks sexy @$$… I won’t put my pizzas on yet…

Now this Kid Rock guy… I heard he’s not down with the brothers… if that is true then THE GRANT SAYS F**k you Kid Rock! However, he did one thing that I can respect – that is – provide that American Bad Ass tune for The Undertaker when he returned in 2000. All that Judgment Day is now business? It was such a feel good moment after Triple Teef and his crew were beating down The Rock every week…

ARE YOU SCARED? HE’S HERE! HIS JUDGMENT DAY IS NOW!!! THAT IS SOME GOOSEBUMP SH!T! THE MCMAHON HELMSLEY FACTION GOT F**KED UP! AAAH GOOD TIMES!

I am so f**ked off with this stream – I gotta catch up on YouTube in the morning.

…and so I wake up and find that rapper Craig Mack has passed away…muthaf***a!

Can we get a 10 bell salute to Craig Mack?

We gotta keep it moving y’all, so I’m on the YouTube… and I click on the Sonya Deville Vs Sasha Banks match, and straight away there is a warning about its content… er… does one of them lose their top or something? Do we accidentally see Sasha’s pum-pum when her leg is hooked for the three??

LET’S GO IN!!!

All I saw was Bayley helping Sasha win her match against Sonya because Absolution was gonna teef, then after the match they rushed Sasha, by which time Bayley already left the building! The plot thickens!

I didn’t see anything offensive… DID YOU?

YES! The Fabulous Moolah Battle Royal! It’s funny how we were talking about this on the JAMMS Podcast and what Fabulous Moolah has done, good and bad,  hey none of us are perfect… my early pick to win? CARMELLA. F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S… get it? Nah? ok let;s keep it moving…

The Miz trying to work brain as usual to turn Seth Rollins and Finn Balor against each other… I’m just waiting for both of them to get up and kick down The Miz in his mouth corner!

Seth told him to shut up on his own show! Can he do that?

Uh-oh! Seth & Finn look like they are gonna go at it! Look at The Miz’s face! He’s loving this!!! I’ve never seen him look so happy ever since he put it in Maryse!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO THEY CLOCKED HIM! SMILE GONE!!!!

Miz tried to run but he got ketch! Finn Balor box him down! But forgotten for a split second Seth Rollins is still there!

So Seth is all about Burning It Down and flames on his attire. Do you think my hero Kane taught him how to set things on fire by just using his hands?

So Alexa Blitch believes that Asuka chose Charlotte because she knew she would ‘lose’ her? CALLING MY NXT EXPERTS! Did Asuka & Alexa clash back at Full Sail University??? Answers on a postcard please! TWEET ME @MZATheInfamous!

I don’t like how this Alexa Blitch is talking to Asuka!

WRESTLING FANS ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE – EXHIBIT A! we don’t need to go to NXT! Go back to Jan 1, 2018!!!!

Technically Asuka is eligible for a title shot against Alexa! Asuka could make history, beat Alexa, go to Smackdowns, beat Charlotte at WrestleMania and hold two titles at once! But of course WWE is not gonna clock on to that sh!t!

“To be the woman, you gotta BEAT THE WOMAN”!

Translation… Alexa is NO WOMAN. She is just a LITTLE B!TCH! And Charlotte is ALL WOMAN let me tell ya!

GRANT BODY-P!

Asuka speaks the truth! “I beat you before! I beat you AGAIN!” There’s the evidence up there!

If I was Asuka I’d just kick down Alexa word up!

Mickie James went in against Asuka, but she missed the Mick Kick – got caught with the Asuka Lock – TAP OUT!!! Mickie was crying for Alexa as if Alexa was her moms!!!

Alexa Bliss bex! So what does she do? disrespect Nia Jax… and WWE go and feed some funny looking out of shape jobber to get killed!

OH NO! Someone is on that GTV sh!t! Alexa and Mickie running down Nia! DISRESPECT!

Next week Asuka faces Alexa! But watch this – either that match is not gonna happen, or Nia is gonna jump in and Alexa gonna get F**KED UP!!! If I was Alexa b!tch @$$ I wouldn’t attempt to come to work next week!

Tag Team Battle Royal winner fights The Bar at the WrestleMania!

Wait a minute! BRAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!! He can’t enter this? (Then again maybe he can – he has the strength of 10 men and a tag team consists of 2…saying that Braun is a ONE MAN FACTION!!!)

It cracks me up every single time when Braun runs after his opponent! It’s the scariest run ever since the T-1000!

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If they cast Braun as the next Terminator – I’m sorry – Arnie would have NO CHANCE! John Connor would be FINISHED! And Alexa Bliss would play as Sarah Connor!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh sheeeeeeeeeeet! Braun just blatantly told Anderson – “I’M GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!” and dashed him out the ring! He’s the #1 contender for the championship! LET THE COMPLAINING ON THE INTERNET BEGIN! Oh wait… you guys like Braun though!!!

WHOA! NEXT WEEK we are gonna see the Ultimate Deletion! NOT WrestleMania! Sounds good to me! Y’all loved the Final Deletion on TNA – I checked it out myself recently… you guys were right – it was so awful that it was entertaining. So don’t complain on the internet saying it’s wack – I EXPECT IT TO BE WACK!

“You have a beautiful family… it would be a shame if something happened to them…” OH MY GOD!!! Wyatt wants to kill little Maxel! he wants to put it n that Reby Sky or whatever her name is! (Yo she is KRISS!!!!) Let’s throw up a picture of her for NO REASON!

Reby Sky

Ok as you have noticed this sh!t is in a different order… let’s get into the nitty-gritty!

Brock is not in the building!!!! UH-OH!!!! LET THE COMPLAINING ON THE INTERNET BEGIN! The WWE Universal Champion must in stitches with Sable!

Double R speaks the truth! If you don’t show up to work? You get FIRED! Back to the Jobcentre! Watching Jeremy Kyle on a weekday followed by Supermarket Sweep!

GRANT BODY-P!

Uh-Oh Roman Reigns is calling out Vincent Kennedy! Aaah sheeeeet it’s gonna be pandemonium on the internet!

Good lord! The cameras followed Double R through the gorilla position to the backstage where Vincent Kennedy & Shane are! Shane can’t be there??? This is not Smackdowns?

“GO TO THE COMMERCIAL!!!!”

Big BIG WrestleMania 34

Clearly this scene with sexy @$$ Renee Young outside Vincent Kennedy’s office and Roman storming out while Vince ‘seemingly fixing his suit’ is ammunition for the internet who believe Vince & Roman have sexual relations… oh man how awkward is this… Yo WWE – you’re not doing any favors here!

With that said – this is straight WrestleMania quality building! Vince guarantees Brock will be here next week! Here’s the twist! Double R is suspended for a hot minute!

Translation – They are keeping Brock and Roman away from each other until the go home show when they can get their ruckus on! DO THE KNOWLEDGE JABRONIES!

Finally Jonathan Cena… I’m sorry to say this Nikki – you are DEFINETLEY NOT GET MARRIED… you gonna be a widow… you gonna be like Hilary Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air… Cena might as well do a bungee jump and his head hit the concrete floor. The way he talked about The Undertaker… NO ONE HAS GONE THERE. Not the Rock, Not CM Punk, Not even Stone Cold Steve Austin… even when Shawn Michaels kicked the 16-1 headstone, this was nothing compared to Cena’s Grown Thuganomics…

 

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.

Monday Night Raw #1293, March 5, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I hope you die-hard wrestling fans hate me, that’s ok, because I hate you right back!

This is what I don’t understand, you see 30 second squash matches on RAW every other week, hell – Sheamus defeated Danny Bryan in 18 seconds at WrestleMania 28 for crying out loud. And yet, you muthaf***az are complaining on the internet over something that happened at a HOUSE SHOW, which you never witnessed live (unless you were in the building of course) you never PAID FOR IT, and above all else, you UK FANS were SNOWED IN! You weren’t moving anywhere! With that said…

SEAN PRICE - STFU

Oh wait, I do understand… it was in Chicago, the place where they worship some guy who doesn’t give a f**k about them…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1293! What’s this I hear about a 50-man Royal Rumble????? Saudi Arabia be making major moves star!

Greatest Royal Rumble

I got cookies, a cup of soup, and a Jamaica Ginger Cake with custard for later! LET’S DO THIS SH!T KURK!

KURT IS CALLING TRIPLE TEEF OUT! HE’S BACKED OFF HIS JACKET TOO!

Wait a minute – Kurt stripping off clothes and Stephanie comes out here? We know you want Kurt to f**k you one more time!

GRANT BODY-P!

Listen to Stephanie wukkin brain! Know Your Role Kurt! Make matches Kurt! Use your head Kurt!

Ronda Rousey is all smiles! She must have had sex earlier!

GRANT THAT IS ENOUGH!

Hold on – Ronda said her debut match at WrestleMania -she can choose anyone she wanted! Er… Stephanie??

Wait a minute – I thought Triple wasn’t here yet!

Oh no! Turns out Stephanie has a second contract as a WWE Superstar! Same with Triple H! Kurt is doing his job – he’s making the matches!!!

There it is! Triple & Stephanie Vs Kurt & Ronda Rousey at the big BIG WrestleMania! (yes we already knew that because we read the dirt sheets) But the way they dropped it – I was marking the f**k out! Kurt got Triple in the ankle lock, Stephanie tried to teef but Rousey caught her with the Samoan Drop! HOLY SMOKES!

F**k that – I’m ready for the Big BIG WrestleMania! JUST LIKE THAT!

Now Asuka is here! GOD DAYUUUUUM SHE FINE!

Mike Cole promoting Ninja Warrior? PAY MAKOTO NAGANO HIS MONEY!

Makoo Nagano

Oh lawd Nia Jax is killing Asuka! SHE WANTS TO KILL!!!! But Asuka got the Triangle chokehold! She won’t let go! It’s locked in for the longest! Nia tried to fight out but Asuka transitioned into an arm bar!!!! SHE’S GONNA BREAK THE ARM! Nia had to tap out! If I was Asuka – I would run for the hills! Alexa Bliss looks like urine gonna leave her vagina and go down her leg!

GRANT BODY-P!

You gotta be kidding me! The almighty Nia Jax CRYING? What is this?!!!! Where are you Shadfather – console this woman!

Shout out to the cute girl who works at Iceland ‘Natalie’ I think her name is – can’t remember – I did my shopping today, I saw the 3 for £2 offer on the cookies, now normally the cashier is like ‘Do you have an Iceland Card?’ Or ‘would you like a bag?’ Not this chick… I know it’s all about service with a smile but she’s like ‘enjoy your cookies!’ Aaah bless her… if I was single…

GRANT BODY-P!

I honestly thought The Revival would be next in line for the titles and go to big BIG WrestleMania… wow.. you NXT guys are allowed to complain on the internet…

I know John Cena is a free agent… but I think he’s taking the p!$$ coming on RAW to explain his WrestleMania plans… you’re fighting on Smackdown homie!

Yes crowd – boo this man! He doesn’t need to be on RAW!!!!

Ok he suggests I listen…

Uh-oh – he’s out to break Ric Flair’s title reigns… I don’t think Ric Flair cares… you saw him in that 21 Savage video!

John Cena wants that Triple Threat match! He wants to Shatter the dreams of die-hard wrestling fans who want AJ Styles Vs Strong Style!

Talking of Shattered Dreams… I don’t understand why Goldust  is out here! Very random…

John Cena looks as confused as us! So confused that he went down after Goldust boxed him!

Careful John – Goldust might have Victoria Secret underneath that outfit!

GRANT BODY-P!

Why did Goldust even bother… he was so much more entertaining when he had the hots for Rowdy Roddy Piper…

Elias speaks the truth! Music brings us together, not tear us apart!

Elias vs Braun in a Symphony of Destruction match! Well as long as RZA’s 36 Chambers studios are not involved… that goes for 9th Wonder’s Jamla studios…

Congratulations to Hillbilly Jim hitting the Hall of fame… he doesn’t mean a damn thing to me but there you go…

Corey Graves just called Mandy Rose – God’s Greatest Creation… There is no doubt – Mandy Rose is hot…but I believe God created something even greater…

tiffany haddish

Meet Tiffany Haddish guys… star of the film ‘Girl Trip’ – she is sexy as f**k and she is funny as hell. LOOK AT THAT… OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

What’s wrong with you Bayley? Sasha saved your clart! You refuse her hug? Oh well come hug me Sasha god dayuuuuum!!!

Big BIG WrestleMania 34

Elias can play every instrument! If hat is so, why hasn’t Ghostface Killah approached Elias for beats?!!!

Elias tried to get away in the car! But the car wouldn’t move!!!

I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guys I just got an important message on Facebook… it’s the President of The Wu Worldwide DJ Coalition. I gotta take this call…

Holy smokes! Elias is probably DEAD BY NOW! Braun lick him down with the cello, then he dropped the piano on him! OH SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

BRAUN CHISELED YOUR TOMBSTONE! SLEEP WELL!!!!

If you are a gamer, you haven’t lived until you have played Fatal Fury 2… I mean, the last boss fights you in front of a live orchestra… that’s f**ked up!

Now Bray Wyatt just beat Rhyno in roughly 30 seconds… go on – COMPLAIN ON THE INTERNET NOW!!!!

Bray Wyatt just mentioned ‘Final Deletion’!

The Hardy Compound??? WHOA! ULTIMATE DELETION!!! I knew it had to go that route! YES!!!

“GET OUT? Get Out is what Kurt Angle should do with Monday Night Raw…” Miz is outta order for that!

He says Kurt is sucking up to Ronda Rousey… I don’t know about you but I would ‘suck’ up to Ronda Rousey…

GRANT BODY-P!

I like that idea! The Miztourage Vs Seth Rollins & Finn Balor? LET’S GO! I wanna see the Miz get BUSS ARSE AGAIN after talking sh!t!

THERE IT IS! TRIPLE THREAT MATCH! Miz Vs Seth Rollins Vs Finn Balor at the big BIG WrestleMania… see I’m supposed to get excited but again – you guys read the dirt sheets and spoiled everything!

Paul Heyman is here with the WWE Universal Championship in his hands!

Wait a minute – he says Brock Lesnar will soon hold BOTH the Universal Title AND the UFC Heavyweight Title? He can’t do that surely?!

Paul Heyman just called the Universal Title ‘Brock’s B!tch?’ Does that mean Brock is cheating on Sable???

Heyman says Double R cannot shoot from the hip against him or Brock! He’s likely to be right!! But Double R is here anyway!

Told Heyman straight – that next week in Detroit, just like D12… it’s FIGHT MUSIC!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1291, February 19, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

WE want the brand extension!

WE want fewer pay per views!

WE want Cesaro to be champion!

Combined WWE PPV

Too bad you can’t have it all eh?

GRANT BODY-P!

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Screenshot-2018-2-19 Dana Brooke WWE ( DanaBrookeWWE) Twitter

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RAW 1291! Chamber Music, F**k!n the party up!

I don’t know about you but this Hardy Vs Wyatt thing – it needs a little extra something… yes they have clashed, yes they have both chatted sh!t… it needs to go to that next level for me to be re-invested… whatever Matt was doing in the TNA joint – bring that sh!t here and make it 10x better!

“What is so special about Ronda Rousey is – she’s an attraction…” In more ways than one eh Charlotte?!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Aaah sheeeeeeet they showing footage of Ronda practicing her wrestling moves! UH-OH!!! This ain’t no Eva Marie folks!

Black Panther fever hits Titus Worldwide! Even Dana Brooke is doing it – (not properly she got a clipboard in her hand) But if they lose to the Bar, they will bring disgrace to Wakanda!!!

Titus Panther

YES!!!! WAKANDA FOREVER!!!! Apollo Crews was like – I AM T’CHALLA! SON OF T’CHAKA!!! Dana Brooke must have gave them some of that Vagin—- er I mean Vibranium! (still doesn’t sound right does it?)

Come on Nia you’re dealing with Asuka here! Asuka knows the way of the ninja and stealth attacks – YOU DON’T!

Mike Cole is talking about ‘friends’ and alliances that may occur in the Chamber… it’s still every woman for herself Cole! And it looks like Dana Brooke could well be dissed for real! I would say to Dana – walk out the joint – but maybe… she and Titus Worldwide should try Smackdown first before doing that…

elimination-chamber-2018-660x330

HOLY SMOKES!!! Seth Rollins has done a ‘Chris Jericho’! By that I mean he beat the two top guys in the same night! In this case Double R & John Cena! Oh man! The IWC must be reaching fever pitch!!!

What a performance by Seth Rollins! Dude has lasted over an hour in the gauntlet match thus far! But there was no way he could outlast three guys, with two of them being Double R & Cena… Elias COME CROSS!

Next opponent – Finn Balor… and true say Elias was still mash up with his ribs, one coup de grace on them and it’s curtains for the man with the guitar!

Typical Miz has to be so dyam teef! Double R, Seth, Elias, and Balor use real skills – Not the Miz… he has to brfing his pu$$yclaat friends with him and attack Balor from behind…

…but if I was Balor, I’d let The Miz beat me and let me see the lights for the three because the winner has to fight…….BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!

“If you excuse me Charly, I have some unfinished business to attend to…” The Miztourage heard Braun say that and they was like – OH SH!T! we gotta leave the ring NOW!!!

Miz tried to get away, but Braun ketch him!!! The Grant Says – If Braun was in the police force, there is NO WAY you are out running him!

Running powerslam into the canvas – BLAOW!!!!

Chamber music, f**k!n the party up! That’s what Braun does!!!

 

 

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Monday Night Raw #1289, February 5, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Eagles Patriots Super Bowl Football

SMASHED IT.

I gotta give WWE props, I’m sure Stephanie and Triple Teef were supporting the New England Patriots… but if they turned around and gave the Philadelphia Eagles a WWE Championship belt for their Superbowl win  – PROPS. Steph and Triple WILL NOT complain on the internet…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1289! The Royal Rumble still trending on the twitter! UNHEARD OF!

Steph RawI don’t know what Bray Wyatt is laughing about – he’s fighting Double R to qualify in the Chamber…yeah he won last year… BUT THAT WAS LAST YEAR!

That’s it fools – pull out your iPhones that you break on a regular for this LOOOOOSER! You bloody sheep!

GRANT BODY-P!

Listen to the haters cheering for Bray,,,, I would be extremely shocked if Bray wins this. Matt Hardy is watching for goodness sakes!

Double R kicks out of an instant Sister Abigail… now you know the muthaf***a ain’t winning!

Just like that, with an emphatic spear… Double R wins… go on then – complain on the internet!

Finn Balor might be the most interesting cat on the roster. This dude is not in the chamber… so I wanna know where he goes next going forward.

Oh no these Revival idiots… I hope one of em gets injured again (Actually I take that back!)

Hahahahhahahahahah Revival you B!TCH!!! Finn Balor hitting the Coup De Grace – I see you wrestling purists complaining on the internet some more! Go on – let it all out!

Not even an hour in and RAW is challenging my interest – I still have a lifeline left – Jamaica ginger cake and custard….

Cruiserweight action… sigh… I’m gonna talk to my woman…

Ok – Mandy Rose – Sasha Banks – Bayley  – Sonya Deville – and Mickie James gonna test Alexa Bliss in the Chamber!

Even better – if Nia Jax can defeat Asuka…she can go to WrestleMania too! But hear the joke – Asuka hasn’t decided who she’s facing yet!

WHOA! Alexa just put Kurt Angle on BLAST! How come Brock doesn’t have to defend his title in the Chamber!!! She should be ‘Brock’s equal’ in terms of gender equality! Er Alexa… you might wanna check Brock’s contract! It’s NOT THE SAME AS YOURS!

Last time I check, Bayley got hurt crazy when she had her NXT match with Asuka… what makes her think she can beat Asuka now?

This is one of those RAW episodes where it is very wrestling driven… not much storyline build. Don’t be surprised if I find my bed halfway through.

So let’s do the knowledge – Kurt believes Asuka will fight Alexa at WM34. But Asuka nah say nuttin… Nia WON’T win her match against Asuka, but her performance will find her in the match at WrestleMania anyway. Sasha is likely to win to advance to WrestleMania thus, this will AT LEAST be a Triple Threat match.

Asuka made quicker work of Bayley than she did with Sasha I can say that much…

HOLD UP! The Miz Vs Apollo Crews – winner goes to the Chamber? COME ON APOLLO!!! This could be HUGE!

I am tired as a muthaf***a people… this wrestling sh!t is boring me… are you sure you guys want pure wrestling on your screen? I’m gonna eat this pudding, and then find my bed – I’ve been watching Nicole Snow and Sophia Lares on Edd’s favourite channels during this wrestling sh!t… word up!

God damnit… not even Black History month could save Apollo Crews… well at least we get to see The Miz get BUSS ARSE in the Chamber!

Look pon this… Jason Jordan can’t compete… but at least he found a suitable replacement… DOUBLE R!!!!

What I don’t understand is… why is Jason Jordan at ringside? I mean, unless the Bar were being teef which I don’t think they were – he doesn’t need to be out there!

His intentions were good but he got ketch by the ref!!!! You baited it up for The Shield YOU FOOL!!!! As much of a loose cannon Ambrose is, he wouldn’t have struck The Bar in front of the referee?!

Wait a minute – since when were we watching Live Wire? or Velocity, or even Wrestling Challenge??? I didn’t know that no name jobber were still a thing for Nia Jax? have the creative team gone on holiday or something? I know it’s Black History Month/J Dilla season but…

Nia Jax wants to disfigure Asuka! NO!!! I mean… can’t they come to some mutual agreement?

I hope Mickie James hasn’t broken Sonya Deville’s nose!!! Look how fine Sonya is – come on Mickie – stop this wrestling nonsense and GET IN THAT TONGUE!GRANT MARKIES BARNERS

GRANT BODY-P!

Maybe Alexa Bliss wants to get in that tongue of Mickie! Yeah I’m scratching my head too – Absolution was gonna beat down Mickie, and Alexa saved her clart??? Mickie is looking at Alexa like – A WHA DE???

If you jabronies hated the Prince fiasco at the Superbowl and complained on the internet about it, maybe you would rather walk with Elias instead? He would have done great at the Halftime joint?!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Imagine! Elias in the Raw main event, and he combines his force with John Cena to take out the Monster Among Men…

Don’t ask me how he did it… (well I do I just watched it) but Elias will enter last in the Chamber by defeating the worn out Cena after he took a powerslam from Braun Strowman!

So er.. yeah, it was a RAW with plenty wrestling action. not much storyline and jokes… and that sort of sh!t bores me…

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Monday Night Raw #1288, January 29, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Womens Royal Rumble smashed it

Photo courtesy of Mike Knoxxx of SoulNSports/Perfect Plex- BDSIR NETWORK

SMASHED IT.

I will keep it real with you. When they announced the men’s rumble halfway through the show, and how epic it was with Strong Style Kung Fu winning… I wasn’t sure the women could top that… but blodclaaaaaaaaat!!!

And that was just the Rumble! The NXT Takeover though! You don’t have to follow the storylines, but watch the PPVs… I thought Ember Moon was gonna lose…Alicester Black… that man…I’m not supposed to be a fan considering his demeanor and who or he stands for… but he’s too cool NOT to be a fan… and as for Johnny Wrestling… if that was the main roster that match would have been over 20 years ago!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1288! I’m watching WrestleMania Orlando 24 on the Network… good lord this is so well put together…

 

 

GRANT BODY-P!

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Monday Night Raw #1287, January 22, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

EVERYBODY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE RAW 25th Anniversary! Except one person: The Infamous Informer. Why? I’m nervous. I’m on edge. I have this gut feeling that just before RAW 25 starts, Virgin Media will do the dirty on me and pull the plug. There seems to be this curse I have where I always miss the biggest RAW shows, like when it was RAW 1000, I was forced to miss that due to a family emergency, or the RAW when Shane McMahon returned, or the RAW when The Rock made a surprise appearance… maybe it’s because I disrespect miserable internet wrestling muthaf***az and it has a habit of biting me in the @$$!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1287! I know I don’t deserve it… bt can somebody borrow me a grand total of £67.72 so I too can be apart of RAW 25? NO? Well F**k you then punk! AND DON’T GET CHANTING HIS NAME YOU SILLY SHEEPLE!

RAW 25

 

 

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Monday Night Raw #1286, January 15, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

You know what I don’t understand? Vincent Kennedy puts out a tweet on my birthday (Jan 11) simply stating ‘My Hero’, referring to Martin Luther King. So if Vince abides by MLK’s words, then I speak for myself, the BDSIR Network, my close friends, all the people at Smack Talk Centre & Cage Amateurs UK when I ask…WHY HASN’T THERE BEEN A BLACK WWE CHAMPION VINCE! Bring your excuses on!

GRANT BODY-P!

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PAIGE its all over

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RAW 1286! I’ve been watching the Top 100 Raw moments on the network lately… OH MY DAYS I’M GETTING SOME JOKE!

Steph Raw

BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!

Is that a new shirt I see? Why won’t they make one saying ‘I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!!!!’

Braun Strowman tells stories??? Look man it ain’t past my bedtime!

Kurt’s got the security with him! There’s probably some dumb smark sitting at home like ‘they are in developmental’!

“I do what I want, when I want…” Braun says that and that’s what the people want… If Roman said that you fools would be booing – WAIT – NO KURT – HE FIRED BRAUN!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!! Wait a second! NO!!! Might as well turn off RAW now!

OH NO!!!!! HE SAID IT!

“I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!!” He’s gonna destroy everyone!!!

No No No I’m not watching The Bar Vs Titus Worldwide again…

So hold up – Bella Twins, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Terri Runnels, Michelle McCool, Jacqueline, Torrie Wilson… they all gonna be at RAW next week? YES!!! I hope Torrie gets to visit Vince McMahon again! PLEASE!!!!!

Braun is destroying everyone in his path!!!

“BRAUN IS COMING THIS WAY! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!”

They should play his music everytime he’s on-screen! You know like you hear haunting music everytime you see the Terminator?

I might not even talk about the matches today! F**K THAT!

OH NO! He’s heading for the production trucks!!!! Remember what happened last time someone was in the Production Truck?

HOLY SH!T!!! BRAUN BRUKK UP THE TRACTOR! This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen!

The announcers run gone! He was gonna kill Mike Cole! WAIT – HE’S STILL GONNA KILL MIKE COLE! HE DASHED HIM OFF THE STAGE! HE’S LUCKY PEOPLE WERE THERE TO CATCH HIM!

Stephanie McMahon had to call up quick time and say yo – DON’T FIRE HIM! You know where this is going right?

That Evil Triple Teef is gonna get involved!

Screenshot-2018-1-16 DJ Johnson ( DycezStreetZ) Twitter

This guy from BDSIR Network is a funny muthaf***a!!!! Y’all need to follow him! He reminds me of the Perfect Plex answer to JAMMS Podcast’s Shadfather!

This is a forbidden match… Nia Jax Vs Asuka… or I could see it as a way of wrestling porn!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

I have to be real though – Nia is going IN on Asuka!!!! None of that jobber crap anymore!

But Asuka f**ked up Nia’s leg though still! Asuka wins, but Nia is ‘kept strong’ so to speak… good booking if you ask me…

Look at me using proper wrestling terminology! F**K ALL THAT! THIS IS ME! I don’t talk that nerd sh!t!!!!

I got another question for Vince… if MLK is his hero… why does he support Donald Trump? Or let me switch the question – what does Donald Trump think of his ‘best friend’ calling a black man ‘his hero’???? Donald Trump doesn’t like black people we all know that!

I took the rare action of checking Donald Trump’s twitter. He has not acknowledged MLK once… CONFIRMATION RIGHT THERE!

These Revival Guys call themselves ‘wrestlers’ and not ‘sports entertainers’… well whoopie f**k!n doo! Now get the f**k out of the ring!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait – Elias is concerned for Michael Cole’s well-being? Since when? I assure you – Mike Cole is NOT HURT – he fell on people who caught him and cushioned the blow! Oh I am waiting for the memes this week I tell ya, especially from those jabronies from heelbook…

YEAH I SAID IT!

Hold up – I wasn’t chanting welcome back last week to The Miz??!!! The Infamous Informer is NO SHEEP!

“Roman – the title is MINE!” I’m sure Roman will happily hand over the title to you… he has a bigger destiny…. BELIEVE THAT!

They acknowledged that Paige is out the game with a ‘neck injury’… and Paige won’t be in the Rumbles… what a heartbreak… just give the girl the mic so she can tell her retirement speech…

The WWE must have listened to Perfect Plex Talk radio… they did say they didn’t do Woken Matt Hardy’s entrance properly… I think they nailed it now!!!

Goldberg HOF

Big ups to Goldberg! He’s headlining the 2018 Hall of Fame! which possibly means Undertaker won’t be inducted until next year….

Truth be told I should be doing my job and writing my thoughts about RAW’s main event – Seth Rollins Vs Finn Balor… but after Braun’s shenanigans, I really cannot be bothered…. as good as it is… sorry wrestling purists!

Uh-Oh… there might be something to talk about… see earlier in the night Jason Jordan interrupted the match with The Bar & Titus Worldwide… I thought the Bar was gonna come down to bait it up for Seth Rollins… but it backfired! Not only that – Seth Rollins USED THE CURB STOMP SUPER MOVE on Finn Balor!!!! That move was banned wasn’t it??? NOT ANYMORE!!!! The IWC gonna have a field day with this one!

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Monday Night Raw #1284, January 1, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

The rock JKJ

The joke is, the same muthaf***az who type that sh!t always end up having another bad year!!!!

YOU JEREMY KYLE JABRONI MUTHAF***AZ F**KOUTTAHERE!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1284! IT’S A NEW YEAR YES IT IS!!!

Steph Raw

I hope the first segment is missable because I need a #2!!! Highly unlikely… it’s 2018 MUTHAF***A!

WHOA!!! Alexa Bliss Vs Asuka for the women’s championship? Oh wait… it isn’t… YET!!!

John Cena has put his name down in the Royal Rumble! Imagine if he wins… oh my days… the mass complaining on the internet!

30 entrants for the women too! You KNOW there’s gonna be surprises galore in that Royal Rumble!!!!

So they changed up Jason Jordan’s music and put lyrics on the muthaf***a!

Jason Jordan and Cesaro gonna clash! Yep – no disrespect – it will be a great contest but when you gotta go – YOU GOTTA GO!

Crowd chanting ‘Daddy’s Boy’! First time I heard that chant! (I didn’t watch wrestling at Christmas time because I thought it was disrespect to the superstars! Well at least they got paid…)

GRANT BODY-P!

Mike Cole said two weeks ago… Jason Jordan is rocking with the best but soon he has to start winning… and now Jason Jordan is doing just that – he beat internet darling Cesaro! Not sure how the IWC will handle that!

So they made Dana Brooke look like a more voluptuous Lana? I can ride to that!

Safe to say whoever loses out of this Bray Wyatt/Apollo Crews match is a b!tch… I expect Matt Hardy to appear on the titan tron and start his sh!t again!

I thought Bray Wyatt wanted a piece of Dana Brooke! Her distraction didn’t work! Sister Abigail to Crews – BLAOW!!! Sorry Dana you’re not quite Lana!!!

Wyatt is still gonna get deleted!!!! OH NO!!!

WHOA!!! Alexa tried to force Nia to choose her or Enzo! That didn’t work out too well! Just get in the ring with Asuka and shuddup!

Asuka be throwing Shaolin Kung Fu techniques at Alexa! Alexa’s Harley Quinn fist is powerless!

Why do these b!tches think slapping Asuka in the face was a good idea? It usually means curtains for them!

Asuka is a clever chick! Not only is she in the Rumbles, but she also beat Alexa Bliss! This means even if Asuka doesn’t win the rumble, she is STILL the #1 contender for the title! GENIUS!

Bwoy Renee Young sexy @$$ has to stay professional interviewing Samoa Joe… the dude who ‘injured’ Deano – and went on to say he has to stay at home living off his wife’s paycheck! OH SHEEEEEEEEEEET!!!! GUNSHOT!!!

Brock Lesnar doesn’t give a f**k if Heath Slater has kids…. and by the sounds of things – neither does Braun Strowman, and even worse – neither do the fans! Is that how you wish a happy new year to your favourite jobber? How barbaric are you people?????

Even a RHYNO is no match for the monster among men!!!

Hahaha that Jason Jordan kid – he thinks he’s down with The Shield doesn’t he? “Yeah we gotta stay focused, and if The Bar interfere in your match, we will be there – Believe That!” Roman Reigns is looking at Jason Jordan like – ‘WHERE’S HE GOING????’

WHOA! Finn Balor found his Bullet Club bredrins to go against The MizTourage! Let the masturbating begin! FOR YOU THAT IS!

GRANT BODY-P!

Top 100 friends

This is how it goes down – if Double R gets disqualified, he loses the Intercontinental Championship! If I was Double R, I would beat him proper, THEN KILL!!!!

Apparently Double R was fined $5ooo… POCKET CHANGE!!! His daughter still had a powerful Christmas, and his wife probably gave him some Christmas pum-pum!!!

It might be an observation, but the ‘Roman Sucks’ chants are not as dominant like the Cena Sucks chants… bear in mind it’s in Miami Florida, you think the male wrestling fans have ‘grown up’???

GRANT BODY-P!

Samoa Joe – TEEF! He tried to push Double R into the referee! The plan didn’t work! Double R shifts into a spear – BLAOW! Even the crowd gives it ratings! You see? Roman Haters never win! They only make themselves look more stupid!

1 hr left of this and bed is calling me…

F**k!n Hell – Elias tried to sing that stupid New Year song, and for 37 years, I don’t know why the f**k some of you jabronies hold hands and sing that sh!t! What the f**k does it even mean?! Don’t even send answers on a postcard – I’m going to bed… no wait there… the Bullet Club are on… nah f**k that – I can catch up with this in the morning word up…

Somehow I am still hanging in there! This wrestling sh!t is boring me, but maybe Brock Lesnar will end it strong…

Brock Lesnar fears no challenger (s)!!! THAT IS TRUE PEOPLE!

My hero Kane hit the chokeslam on Lesnar! But Lesnar sat right up and laughed at Kane! Kane is like – MUTHAF***A!!!

Notice – when the don of dons hit the chokeslam on Lesnar a few years back – Lesnar wasn’t sitting up at all…his back hot him… I’m just saying…

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