Tag Archives: WWE

Monday Night Raw #1313, July 23, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Screenshot_2018-07-23 Stephanie McMahon ( StephMcMahon) Twitter

…and the guessing game has begun! I’m gonna end the speculation right now… it’s an all women’s PPV, it’s gonna drop October, and all proceeds go towards the Susan G Komen breast cancer awareness thing. SAVE THE T!TT!£$!!!

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RAW 1313! On this day in 2012 RAW celebrated it’s 1000th episode. Everybody celebrated. Except me. “I wasn’t f**k!n there!!!!” (Arnold Schwarzenegger, End Of Days)

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But this time…I was THERE! Well… in my house watching the clip on YouTube that is… and I just had to see this announcement… let’s take a moment to marvel at Mickie James like – GOD DAYUUUUM!!!

Also every muthaf***a is present (apart from Brock Lesnar of course… and The Undertaker – who let’s face it… he could be 80 years old, we beg him for him to retire so he doesn’t end up like Sting, but when he appears we MARK THE F**K OUT!)

“Women, step forward… the men that stand behind you, I want you to know how much they REALLY support you…”

Yep – they REALLY support them alright! Especially from behind!

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Even Vincent Kennedy is there yo! You know this is big! This is straight CHING-CHING! in his pocket!

Great work cameraman! Checking out JoJo’s backside! THAT IS A BACKSIDE! So don’t tell me about Bayley or Alexa Blitch or any of them!!! (Apart from Naomi obviously – OHHHHHHH!)

Triple says it’s a joy watching them… he had to watch his words here… he said ‘some of us with a tear in our eye…’ he really means with his D HARD PEOPLE!

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Look at Vincent Kennedy’s face while Stephanie is talking! I’m sorry I can’t help but laugh here!

women-raw-wwe-evolution

50 WOMEN! THEN, NOW & FOREVER!!! YES! Looks like Trish, Lita, Victoria, Gail Kim (Hopefully) Layla (Pretty please??!!) AJ Lee (Hey you never know!) will have to draw back out their wrestling boots! You think Jacqueline, Ivory & Alundra Blayze have still got one match left in them too?

Sucks if you’re injured or pregnant now right?

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If you STILL feel the need to complain on the internet after this – YOU ARE THE PROBLEM – STEP THE F**K OFF – I’LL SLAP YOU LIKE BATMAN DID TO ROBIN – I’LL PUNCH YOU THROUGH SCHOOLBUSES & PIZZA SHOP WINDOWS! WITH YOUR NO PU$$Y ROMAN REIGNS OBSESSED FAT @$$!

The PPV is called EVOLUTION though! Surely I cannot be alone when I instantly thought of this…

…and then I then I thought of this…

It makes me wanna do a women’s wrestling tribute video! That’s my word! Hmmm….

Everybody’s happy about the new women’s PPV! Apart from one person – Baron Corbin…who is still hot at Finn Balor, so what does he do? Move his belongings to some stupid place and tells Balor he gotta face Drew Wackintyre, like Balor is supposed to be scared… I’m not scared of Wackintrye! So what says Balor?!

All is well between Sasha & Bayley again!!! Isn’t that wonderful?! Sorry fans, your obsession with stars ‘turning heel’ could not over come the love these women get from the kids!!!! Y’all want everyone to turn heel! What sort of stupidness is that?

Is that all the ‘sellotape’ they could provide for Kevin Owens after Braun Strowman chokeslammed his blodclart off the cage through the table? That muthaf***a should have ‘sellotape’ all over his body!

A wha de rarse? They sent Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! To Braun to help him find inner peace? Ok RAW you’re falling off the rails now… but it is a segment with Braun… it’s bound to be funny!

I think Braun has the idea of inner peace! Close your eyes, breathe in breathe out, and say.. GET. THESE. HANDS…!!!

Braun is like the new ‘Austin’ isn’t he? By that I mean you know it’s coming when somebody about to get buss arse and when it happens it is magic everytime!

I know Mickie James hasn’t dressed up like a sexy power ranger only to lose to Natalya??

Haha Alexa Blitch tried to TEEF and she got met with a mean discus clothesline from Natalya! Gwarn girl!

Nattie gets back in the ring only to get kick down by Mickie – BLAOW! 1, 2 and…3! NICE!

What is this? Authors of Pain and Titus Worldwide – CHATTING? Remember back in the days when Eric Bischoff used to say ‘you got 3 MINUTES’ to get out of my ring? but 3 seconds later you BUSS ARSE by Rosey & Jamal? Aaaah… good times…

Good to see Titus though whoop @$$ in his Gareth Southgate waistcoat though! And his tie not out-of-place!

Seth Rollins Vs Dolph Ziggler to clash again at the Summerslam joint! But they had an ironman match though! It can’t be a normal match after that surely? (Caling for ladders!)

Elias says his album is gonna change my life forever… sorry Elias – that already happened in 1997 (Wu-Tang Forever) and again in 2000 (Supreme Clientele)!

Who the hell is O.A.R.??? Have I gotta google these fools?

Oh my god the album really exists! You can get it on iTunes & Spotify! The question remains – will it sell more than John Cena’s album???

Wait a minute – TEEEEEEEEF! Hold on! Braun & Kevin Owens to clash at Summerslams! But here’s the twist – the Money In the Bank briefcase is on the line! OH NO! Stephanie gave Owens the match, he was gonna hug her then realised who she was! You think that would have stopped me???

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Samantha Simon & Karen Lundy? I must be watching WWF Livewire! Let me take a good look at these women… they may have potential…

Oh dear their bright hair didn’t help them… is it me or are we just waiting for either Sasha or Bayley to put their head through a car window?

Now I heard about this before I hit play on YouTube… I knew there was a catch with this whole women’s ppv thing… it was a negotiation! ‘Give the fans what they want… under one condition – I want Roman Reigns to go to Summerslam!!!’

LET THE COMPLAINING ON THE INTERNET BEGIN!

But WAIT! I gotta big up my co-host Shadfather on the JAMMS Podcast… he predicted it exactly how it’s going down – YES Double R is going to Summerslam… but Bobby Lashley already has a case! Therefore… this will end up being a Triple Threat situation!

In closing, after Stephanie’s announcement, there was almost no point watching RAW! Don’t get me wrong – it was good, but in a week from now everything will be forgotten about outside of Stephanie and the women’s PPV…

 

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Monday Night Raw #1312, July 16, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Why are we surprised?

HH N

This is what I support! A company which seemingly gets away with stereotypical values, claims to be all patriotic and all that… we have to remember something wrestling fans, Vincent Kennedy and Donald Trump are BREDRIN!

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kolinda-1531718898

Poor Mbappe! He’s like – ‘lawwwwwd – this woman is gonna rape me! Hey I’m flattered but – you got a daughter??? Actually never mind – I’ve seen what happens on pornhub!!!’

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RAW 1312! OK WWE stop f**k!n about! It’s all about SUMMERSLAM!!!

Remember now – this YouTube sh!t is not in order… I don’t watch live anymore…

Braun Strowman actually has regret! he regrets not congratulating Kevin Owens on his win at the Extreme Rules joint! That was the closest those wrestling muthaf***az will get to ‘wanting the attitude era back!’

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I’m not even gonna click the link on Mojo Rawley Vs Tyler Breeze…NEXT!

Bobby Roode Vs Dolph Ziggler – this isn’t for the intercontinental title is it?

Holy smokes! Mike Cole thought it was over, Corey Graves thought it was over and so did the coach, even I thought it was over! Ziggler hit the Zig Zag, Roode looked f**ked! 1, 2 and….Roode got the shoulder up!

Ziggler got him eventually though… no Drew Wackintyre around either…

How can Roode ‘think he’s god’ when he loses every week?

WHAT? Is that Alicia Fox I see on the telly? Holy crap on a cracker – IT IS!

Considering Sasha & Bayley are not friends again, Sasha ain’t letting Dana or Alicia beat Bayley up!

Shall I click on The B-Team Vs The Ascension? Decisions, Decisions!!! It’s three minutes long… there has bound to be some storyline here…

F**k it  – I don’t like the B Team, but you guys do so… let’s go in!

The Revival still looking on!!!! It’s time for WWE stop f**k!n about because Dash & Dawson – these guys are talented as f**k…

If Wyatt & Matt Hardy want to delete these fools… they should do it RIGHT… Stop this in-ring action crap and take it to ULTIMATE DELETION! Stop saying DELETE if you’re not gonna do it right guys!

Titus Worldwide Vs The Authors of Pain again??? Nah I’m not clicking this link. sorry guys!

But I will click on Sarah Logan Vs Ember Moon though…

Dayuuuuuuuuum Ember Moon’s attire though!!! Look at those TICK THIGHS! Her Wrestling panties struggling to cover her butt cheeks! Me & Ember Moon can be on some midnight marauders!!

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Words from the wise – NEVER defeat Ember Moon by underhanded tactics! Did you see the look on Ember’s face? Or more importantly – her contacts? I’m telling you now – if this was attitude era…Sarah Logan and Liv Morgan would have suffered a blood bath by now!

Debra bloodbath

Screenshot_2018-07-17 (2) Twitter

How about…ah….NAH??!!!!

Oh no! Elias drops new album July 23? Now I know NOT to go out and buy that sh!t!

You think it’s gonna be a 7-track affair produced by Kanye West????

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Wait a second – Sasha loves Bayley???? YES! Now Sasha… get in Bayley’s tongue! LET’S GO!

(what was that about Sasha/Bayley turning heel? Once again wrestling fans are the experts!)

Let’s talk about these triple threat matches? It looks like to me, the winner of both matches face each other next week, then the winner of that faces Brock Lesnar right?

Dayuuuum Finn Balor is straight beating down Double R with the steel chair! This will make the haters happy surely!

Holy smokes! Balor was dropping straight knees to Wackintyre, then sees Double R coming, moves out the way – Reigns with a spear to Wackintyre – BLAOW!!! No way can Wackintyre recover now surely?

After Claymores and Coup De Grace… it was Double R’s Violent Spear that got him the victory…. yo that was crazy!

In the other match, Lashley is straight killing Elias & Rollins with his power moves!

Now Elias & Rollins find themselves combining their force to take out Lashley, but only one can advance!

That has to be my favourite move of Rollins – the Superplex into the Falcon arrow – was that in last year’s game? I don’t recall!

Rollins burns it down and hits the curb stomp to Elias – BLAOW! Here’s the cover! 1, 2 and…Lashley stops that sh!t!

Lashley goes to charge at Rollins, finds the ringpost instead, Seth rolls him up! 1, 2 and…nope!!! Seth kicks him down, sets him up, Elias intervenes, only to be met with Lashley’s spear – BLAOW! We got Reigns Vs Lashley II next week! That’s how it’s going!

Holy smokes – Mickie James!!!! She got pum-pum shorts on! Nah that woman needs a good f**k! Her man ain’t doin’ it right!

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Since when did Ronda Rousey become a one woman Shield? She’s coming down the stairs! Alexa gonna get f**ked up!

Rousey’s head top is braided! You know what that means!!! Alexa nuh read the news!

Here we go! Mickie & Alexa running for the hills!

Mickie nearly had her arm broken! LAWWWWWWWD!

Rousey is like – I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

She took out three officials plus Mickie and Alexa! SHE WANTS TO KILL!

Kurt put an extra week on Ronda’s suspension! Baron Corbin gonna snitch to Stephanie! But he can’t find his phone! Has he tried the lobby? Somebody call his phone – that usually works!

Kurt got his phone!!! It might be a good idea to break that muthaf***a Kurt!

Oh no! Ronda MUST conform! That’s if she wants the Women’s championship at Summerslams!!! Ronda it’s only one week!!! Hold it down girl! Alexa doesn’t like that sh!t! Well tough t1tt!£$!

Now I’m guessing that this was the first segment, but I’m gonna talk about it last if you don’t mind!

I don’t know why wrestling fans be getting all hot and bothered about Brock not showing up and sh1t, I didn’t know you muthaf***az actually cared about the Universal Championship!

Kurt was gonna strip Brock of the title!

WHOAWHOAWHOAWHAOAHOWHAOAHWOWHOAWHAO!!!!!!! PAUL HEYMAN YOU ARE A FUNNY MUTHAF***A!

What Brock Lesnar wants to do, is represent the WWE Universe, by challenging for the UFC Heavyweight Title WITH the WWE Universal Championship around his waist! I can ride to that but he gotta show up and defend more! He’s not afraid of the likes of Elias, Seth Rollins, Drew Wackintyre surely? This is a man (or beast) who has been at war with The Undertaker…. he can’t be sweating whoever is back there? Even Braun Strowman! Braun looks up to the Undertaker for Pete’s sake!

Don’t you love when Heyman feels threatened, he always says this – ‘I’m just an advocate’!!

It’s soon time for me to start putting together the SmackTalkCentre Summerslam gathering promo video…..but before that… let’s throw up a pic of that Croatian president… she would GET IT STILL!

Croatian President

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Monday Night Raw #1308, June 18, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

DAYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!

Nikki Bella victoria secret

Nikki, you make me wish you were on the rebound!!!! I can’t be a husband, I can give you babies, they would be smart & beautiful! Good thing they won’t turn out ugly like Dolph Ziggler!

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RAW 1308! BOOKER-T IS MY NEW HERO!

Remember – I’m going by what YouTube tells me… so let’s get into it!

All Brock has to do is show up… the moment he does…. BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!! But Brock ain’t afraid of anybody… is he???

Kevin Owens wants to offer congratulations! He has no choice – he can’t manage Braun! Not many can!

“At WrestleMania, when you needed a tag partner, you had to go in the crowd, and pick a 10-year-old kid…” Er Kevin… that was the point! Braun was saying he didn’t need anybody! And that’s the truth!

What is Kevin Owens up to??!!! I cannot figure it out right now!

Looks like Kevin sealed the deal! he doesn’t wanna get brukk up anymore! You think this will save him?

Strowman was gonna drop Owens with that powerslam! But Owens get life!!!

Has Jinder Mahal.. JINDER MAHAL!! Found tranquility? Inner Peace? Seems so… he defeated Chad Gable (poor soul) and felt enlightenment!

Has the B-Team become woken?? Nice touch by Bo Dallas pretending to be Wyatt… GEDDIT?

Wow! You mean Elias is actually gonna sing a full song without getting interrupted?

Dayuuum nuff WWE Superstars got that sellotape on em right? Sheeeeeeeeet WTF they be doin? Cesaro set the trend and everybody follow fashion!

Oh dear… Sasha & Bayley have started their sh!t again… these two just need some good ol’ scissor action! Either that or the tongue!

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Double R could have waited until Kurt Angle addressed the Brock Lesnar situation! But wait! He’s not a good guy or a bad guy is he? He does what he wants when he wants! Sounds like somebody else we all love and adore! But that’s none of my business…

Uh-oh! Bobby Lashley is chiming in! Now this is good!!! Peeople do wanna see Lashley and Brock clash! My thing is… Braun has the briefcase… so it’s like… that black champion dream could be derailed…

So this is how it’s going! Kurt is gonna announce a multi person match for Extreme Rules… winner fights Brock at the Summerslams… as much as I want it to be Lashley… Braun has the briefcase… now – I’m all for Braun being champion… but I’d rather him cash it on anyone BUT Lashley you feel me?

Now, by doing the knowledge, those multi people could be Elias, Seth Rollins and Finn Balor… Finn NEVER lost the title. Elias just sung a song about Brock… and Seth… well I’ll get to him later!

Meanwhile The Revival are about to get dissed again as they go up against Bobby Lashley and Double R! This is not right WWE!!! The Revival is a wicked team! Why You Do This?

Check it – Lashley hit the Revival with a spear – BLAOW! That’s Double R’s super move! Well true say Lashley did it from marnin though…

Now remember why I said Seth Rollins gonna be in that match? Here’s why – he just lost his intercontinental title to a pink leggings wearing Dolph Ziggler! He can invoke his rematch clause all he wants – Drew Wackintyre will be there as well…

So essentially, Baron Corbin is the new ‘Corporate Kane’…. by that I mean – he now wrestles in his shirt and trousers! And he won as well against Finn Balor! HOLY SMOKES!

So we come to the real issue at hand… Alexa Blitch… look at her talking down to Ronda Rousey! Y’all wonder why I can’t stand Alexa! Said it before I’ll say it again – I’d get my sister to f**k her up!

This is the Ronda Rousey I like! That chick who gets bex! She just gone GHETTO GYAL on Alexa! And she attacked Kurrrrrrrrrrrrrt! OH MY GOD NOT KUUUUUUUUUUUUUURT!!

Ronda Rousey – powerbombed Alexa Blitch through the table – BLAOW!!!

Oh dear, Kurt just suspended Ronda! But in 30 days… Alexa goose COOK!!! I think we are seeing the Summerslam storyline! Ronda has gone to hone her skills! My dream came true once already when Naomi whupped Alexa’s @$$… but this time Ronda can do it! KILL THE B!TCH!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1310, July 2, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

LIFE IS GOOD!

Germany are out of the World Cup because they are b!tches, the Wimbledon start and the women are running around the court with their little tennis skirts on showing their little panties…and my mixtape has dropped!

Sun is shining, women are looking sexy, and we still have internerds complaining about wrestling!

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RAW 1310! Let me get my coffee y’all, or should I get my Rockstar Energy Drink????

The first thing me hear is that Dolph Ziggler and Seth Rollins have an Iron Man match (30 minute) at the Extreme Rules joint… I hear some of you talking about ‘1 hour iron man match…’ but weren’t you the same muthaf***az who complain about the PPVs being too long? To I say this to you internerds…

SEAN PRICE - STFU

Wait a minute – Shayna Blayzer – what is she doing on RAW backstage??? Ooooooh the Summerslam storyline is prepped folks!!!!!

This whole thing with The Shield (Minus Ambrose) and Ziggler & Wackintyre makes me more and more convinced that Bobby Lashley is the one who is going to Summerslam to fight Lesnar (don’t let the dirt sheets and that stupid WrestleTalk show fool you) The whole ‘Lesnar derailing plans bullsh!t is ALL STORYLINE.’ It’s the Summerslam Storyline! I’m not buying any of that sh!t!

Oh no not Dr Shelby???? Ok this sh1t worked for Danny Bryan & Kane but how the rarse is this gonna work?

Why are Wyatt & Hardy allowing this foolishness to continue with The B Team? I have said for weeks now – SEND FOR THE ULTIMATE DELETION! Until that time I will speak NO MORE about this!

It hurts my brain to see such a talented brother in Apollo Crews, doing what he does in the ring, knowing full well that either he or Titus will eat the pin from the Authors of Pain… no shame in losing to them but it’s like yo… these guys should be serious contenders and sh!t!

“Suck up your PRIDE, give me respect and apologise…”

Really Baron Corbin? You gonna use the word PRIDE to a guy who’s T-shirt makes a positive impact and support to the LGBT community???

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Wait a minute I don’t understand this – if The Revival beat Roman Reigns & Bobby Lashley last week, why are they still tryna beat down Reigns during his match with Rollins Vs Wackintyre and Ziggler?

(Oh I forgot… I’m catching up on YouTube and they don’t put sh!t in order!)

See right here with the combined force of Revival, Wackintyre & Ziggler – could summon the return of Dean Ambrose… hmmm… am I on to something here???

Meanwhile at this anger management sh1t… this to me is just a way to delay creative’s decision on who turns evil out of Bayley & Sasha – I dun told you jabronies neither have turned heel – it’s just a Bayley Vs Sasha situation… THAT’S IT! You know like it was for Brock Vs Undertaker back in 2015?

You know what – I don’t think Dr Shelby can handle these two, word up! He managed to get a ‘goat looking guy’ and a ‘monster who sets things on fire’ to hug but these two women gonna make him wear straight jacket by next week surely!

I got nothing much to say about Ember Moon Vs Liv Morgan apart from two things – 1 – Liv Morgan sold that Total Eclipse move like a BOSS and 2 – God DAYUUUUUUM Ember you fine! In fact f**k that – where’s that Alex Scott chick?

SPORT-PREVIEW-alex-scott

IDGAF – This woman is EVERY FOOTBALL FAN’S DREAM if you don’t fancy this woman – I’m telling you now – you sir are GAY!

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I’m a firm believer in one on one but this Mojo Rawley is a reptile – the whole of No Way Jose’s crew should rush this muthaf***a and beat out his blodclaaat!

Oh no! Extreme Rules match between Nia Jax and Alexa Blitch! Alexa’s pretty face is gonna get ruined….!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! KILL HER! KILL THE B!TCH! Ronda Rousey gonna be ringside too? TAKE MY MONEY!

See Bobby Lashley claims Roman Reigns would not be THE GUY if Lashley was here during the 10 years, well THE GRANT SAYS – neither would you Lashley… you know why? Lets be real – BECAUSE YOU’RE BLACK!!!! Vincent Kennedy might as well be that dude in that ‘I’m not racist’ video!

Oh dear! Double R is not being professional! Lashley’s intentions are good but Double R is having none of it! Remember boys and girls, he’s not a good guy or a bad guy is he?

..and because of Roman’s ignorance, he would rather get buss arse by The Revival than tag in Bobby Lashley… WOW!

You know I gotta save the best for last right? Braun Strowman Vs Kevin Owens… I’m guessing Kevin must have taken the train or something to get to work because he got no car now!

Kevin Owens car

Hang on – Kevin is running away? But his shirt says FIGHT ANYONE!!! Er….

Kevin is hiding in the toilet? Why would he do that? Is that his way of saying ‘he’s sh1ttin himself?’

OH NO! Braun disguised his voice and Kevin Owens got ketch! Now Braun is taping up the toilet! This is shades of Austin and Goldust surely?

Kevin Owens is like ‘ NO PLEASE!!!! ‘ I’m deddin already!!!

I guess Braun is gonna show mercy! Kevin doesn’t deserve this!

“You still in there Kevin???”

That has to be the lyric of the night! Don’t you get the joke? He locked Kevin in there all that time! Kevin can’t move!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

BRAUN TOOK A RUN UP! AND CHARGED HIMSELF INTO THE PORTABLE TOILET OFF THE STAGE!!! KEVIN IS PROBABLY DEAD BY NOW!!!!

I’M DUN!!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!!!

ROFL

THERE’S PEOPLE IN THERE!!! THERE’S PEOPLE IN THERE!!!!!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1309, June 25, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Last week I found out that The Infamous Informer weekly blog is 4th in the top UK wrestling blogs according to feedspot.com… for that I wanna take this time to thank everyone who has supported me over the last seven years with this wrestling sh!t… I have cussed your favourite wrestler, written about sexual fantasies over your favourite female wrestler (apart from Paige and Alexa) and you continued to f**k with me. I SALUTE YOU. Maybe you sympathise with me when I cuss certain internerds!!!

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RAW 1309! There are three wrestling bloggers better than me… I am gunning for that ‘#1 spot like Ludacris!!!!

So here I am, 5:53am, I couldn’t sleep, the hot weather got the best of me. Half an hour prior to that, I woke up, Naomi was not appearing in my dreams, so I thought, I might as well wake up, scroll my Facebook news feed (as you do) grab a coffee, and see what happened in the World Wrestling Federation.

Clearly this was not the first segment, but this is the first clip YouTube is showing me. Call the Ambulance to pick up Rich & Rex Gibson to pick up the people… put their bodies on the stretcher carry their @$$ out!

Realistically I think Titus and Apollo Crews CAN test the Authors of Pain… but storyline dictates they will only get killed!

Notice the Authors of Pain find themselves back om TV now that SAnitY find themselves on Smackdown…

I find it hard to worship somebody who is so ‘badmind’, and has no manners..so with that said – F**K ALEXA BL!TCH!

GRANT BODY-P!

But I will give credit where credit is due – she countered the fans saying ‘WHAT?’! Very good! Personally, I like the WHAT? chant… but yes it does get annoying. They tried that only ONCE with The Undertaker – didn’t turn out too well…

Shout out to Jamie Lannister….

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Natalya comes out here on some ‘Time is a precious commodity’ sh!t… remember that storyline when Eric Bischoff had 30 days to turn RAW around? It’s like that with Alexa because in 23 days … Ronda comes back.. and when she does… THAT’S IT!

In the meantime, Alexa Vs Natalya, with Mickie in Alexa’s corner, and Nia Jax in Natalya’s corner… gotta say – Natalya is looking FYYYNE AS A MUTHAF***A!

Hold up!!!! Natalya just made Alexa tap out!!! WHOA! NEW #1 Contender surely! Nia don’t you see what is happening here?

Mojo Rawley thinks he’s the big he-man picking on Todd the Cheeseburger right? Just like that – Todd is over with the crowd… I’m sitting here waiting for the inevitable memes of him being more over than Roman Reigns… GET A LIFE INTERNERDS!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

As soon as Mojo turned his back, if I was Todd The Cheeseburger, I would have kicked him in his d!ck!

Shout out to STC’s Nicola Hardwick…

The B-team want to continue this charade! I’m calling for a FINAL DELETION word up! Stop this foolishness RIGH… wait there… Extreme Rules…. HMMM!!!

Hold on!!! Bray & Matt give B-Team ratings!!! Y’all know they are plotting the Final deletion!

Ok let’s get serious for a minute! Did Roman Reigns just come with a KILLER LYRIC THERE?

“10 years ago, you wanted to be a big MMA Star, and how did that work out huh? You made a REAL BIG ‘IMPACT’…” You think John Cena ghostwritten that lyric for Double R???

GRANT BODY-P!

Er what? Roman Reigns wants to main event WrestleMania 5 times in a row???? Oooh the internerds are not gonna like that!!!!

SWITCH! Kurt Angle said there will NOT be a multi-man match at Extreme Rules!!! Uh-Oh – you think creative changed up sh!t?

“Brock Lesnar doesn’t care about….blah blah blah… in fact, Brock does not give a sh-” ROMAN REIGNS YOUR LANGUAGE!!!

“(Brock’s) tired of seeing your face, just like all these people are…” – GUNSHOT! I think the women would disagree but that’s another story! Bobby Lashley got lyrics too!

DOLPH ZIGGLER VS SETH ROLLINS! THIS IS THE REMATCH! WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!

Once again a great back and forth contest! Is that Drew Wackintyre I see about to f**k this up?

That he has… muthaf***a!!! One day somebody gonna come kick his @$$!

YES! That person might just be Roman Reigns!!!! KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!

Spear to Ziggler – BLAOW! Ziggler sold that like a boss!

Man Double R is getting all the TV time isn’t he! I’m guessing this is to make up for the minimal TV time he had last week or the week before! He & Lashley fight The Revival again…I think the Revival should change their name – to The Dead & Buried!

YES I USED THE B-WORD!

HOLD UP!!! The Revival just took advantage of the 1upsman ship of Lashley & Reigns – used a distraction roll up and Reigns got pinned!!! The internerds are gonna celebrate like England buss up Panama 6-1!!!!

WHOA!!!! Bayley has gone OFF on Sasha! Holy smokes! Crowd chanting for Bayley crazy! PIC_0041Guys – I’m not taking it as a heel vs face thing here – that’s out the window – the only way for sure is their promos. If either Bayley or Sasha cusses the crowd… THEN YOU KNOW.

Honestly god everything Strowman does – it’s like the Terminator – every time you see him or T-1000 on-screen it’s like the music follows them… his music should be playing EVERY TIME he’s on-screen!

Wait a second – Braun & Kevin Owens are on the same team? Balor & Corbin on the same team? What is this bizarro land?

Kevin Owens tried the Braun technique of running around the ring – he knocked over Balor but was not so lucky against Corbin!

That was an out-of-order tag by Corbin wasn’t it? He clapped Balor in his head!

OH NO! Balor kicked down Corbin! I should bloody think so!

Hahahahah! The official is counting the guys out and Kevin Owens is counting along with him! That’s cool!

Oh dear I think Kevin Owens did something wrong! He tek foot and run garne!!! Does he realise Braun can run as well?

Kevin is tryna get the f**k outta there!!!

OH NO! Braun has Kevin’s car keys!!! This is bad! Look at Braun’s face!

“Here’s your keys! I hope you got insurance, because there’s you car!” What a nice man Braun is! He gave Kevin his keys!

OH NO! THE CAR MASH UP!!!! SEE THIS IS THE PART WHERE KEVIN OWENS IS THAT DUDE ON FINAL FIGHT AND SAYS ‘OH MY CAR’!!!!

OH MY CAR

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Voted in the top four wrestling blogs.

Monday Night Raw #1306, June 4, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

DAYUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM!!!

Sasha lb wear

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW SASHA???!!! GUUUUUUURRRRRRLLLLLL!!!! Sometimes… you have to use your cousin’s words against you…

On the Eastside, that’s the crew I choose
Nothing I do is new to you
I smack up the world if they rude to you
‘Cause baby girl, you’re so beautiful…

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RAW 1306! I’m not tryna be on the YouTube tip… I got big things poppin, little things stopping. And unfortunately wrestling fans… I class this as little things… more like your… (CENSORED!!!)

I think it’s safe to say that I can never watch RAW or Smackdown live because my streams no longer work good, and more often than not I’m yawning through the sh!t. With that said, me garne ah mi bed. YouTube highlights from now on…

You would think that by now Elias would learn not to perform in front of the WWE Universe every week… he always gets interrupted!

It’s like a Mexican stand-off! Only that Elias has his guitar, and Seth Rollins has his steel chair! Rollins just whacked the guitar out of Elias hands! Elias is looking like – heeeeeeeee!!!! All scared and sh!t!

Oh no Jinder Mahal TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!! Putting beats on Rollins! SEND FOR THE SHIELD! GET DOWN THE STAIRS ROMAN!

Either WWE edited out the boos or we must be in one of those ‘non pro wrestling’ cities because Double R is getting cheered as he comes to the aid of Rollins!

Dayuuuuum 199 losses??? Do you think Curt Hawkins is out to beat the Barry Horowitz Losing streak record?

Ok just found out RAW was in Houston Texas…. Come on James Harden! Make it 200!!!

Hold up – Baron Corbin? What is the meaning of this?

Baron Corbin hit the End of Days! The official is calling for the bell! OH SNAP!!! James Harden just WON BY DISQUALIFICATION! WHICH MEANS Curt Hawkins LOST AGAIN! It’s in the record books!

Turns out that Baron Corbin is now the ‘Constable’ of Monday Night Raw? Ah wha de rarse?

Hold up – Bobby Lashley – where is your fashion sense? You’re wearing a tight up jacket with a muscle t-shirt, jeans and cap? THAT DOESN’T MATCH!

Sami Zayn is calling Bobby Lashley a liar! That his inspirational quotes on instagram don’t mean sh!t! He apparently has a fan club which you pay $19.99 to subscribe! Not even my good friend pictured below does that for that much! And she’s a model! Mother of 5 children, ladies and gentlemen I give you – HauteMamaOf5!

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CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE

Just for the record, I haven’t subscribed… because if my lady found out, I would be sleeping on the couch!

GRANT BODY-P!

But Sami says Bobby was never in the army!!! He can’t do that??!!!! I see Bobby getting bex now…

Dayuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum look at Renee Young! She’s talking to Woken Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt of all people dressed like THAT? I’m sorry if that was me I would have to say something… fix my trousers like The Rock or something!

You see? Matt Hardy has the idea!!! Look at him biting his teeth! Renee looks uncomfortable! Renee says she’s woken but I’m high-powered – I’d f**k her back to sleep…

GRANT BODY-P!

Times like this I wished The Rock himself was on WWE doing these interviews with the likes of Renee, Charly Caruso etc… he’d tell em straight!

Oh dear… Natalya f**ked up her knee while fighting Nia Jax… you can see how this storyline is shaping up can’t you!

Nia Jax looks concerned actually… because Nia didn’t ‘injure’ the leg… Rousey is like – yo stay out of this!

What was that you fans were saying about Nia ‘turning heel’ in your memes? Shows you know a lot don’t you?

Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL!!! HE SPEAKS THE TRUTH! He says Double R thinks there is a conspiracy against him when in actual fact he had the most opportunities! THAT IS TRUE! Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL!

Guys – how can you NOT like Jinder Mahal??? This dude is funny!!!

“How dare you disparage my name!” He he hee hahahahaha JINDER STOP IT!

WOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIII!!!! And the fight is on!!!! JINDER MAHAL! ROMAN REIGNS! This is what I’m talking about!

Oh no! Alexa Bliss hurt her leg too! Come on Ronda get out here and see to your friend!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a second! Alexa is leaving the building! Alexa is playing games!!! I never trusted that beeeeaatttch!

COME IN BAYLEY! She just helped the team win! Good on Bayley! Hahaha Corey Graves is bex! Gotta love it!

ARRRRRGHH TEEEEEF! Because Bayley wasn’t officially in the match, The Riott squad win! Baron Corbin exercising his authority! TEEEEEEEEEF!!!

This is what happens when you think you are god! You have to deal with the monster among men Braun Strowman! Bobby Roode gonna GET THESE HANDS!

I don’t think I’ve seen Strowman do that suplex before!

Er… Bobby… I don’t think ladders are allowed in this contest!

Ah I see! Bobby tricked Braun into doing that ‘running round the ring’ sh!t! He rolled under the ladder and now he’s laughing at Strowman! I don’t think that is too smart!

WHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAH!!!!! I’M DUN!!!!! THAT’S THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!

BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! HE BROKE THE LADDER WITH HIS BARE HANDS! BOBBY ROODE WAS LIKE – LAWWWWWWD JESUS!

(At this point this week’s blog has come to an abrupt end. The Infamous Informer was in so much hysterics that he cannot continue this blog! What Braun Strowman did was absolute GOLD. To find out more of what happened on RAW this week, hit up YouTube and find out!)

ROFL

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1305, May 28, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY SEXY LADIES AND WRESTLING JABRONIES!

Do you know what I remember? When Xavier Woods whooped The Miz @$$ on Street Fighter and took his Intercontinental Title! They recently had a rematch…this is what happened…

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RAW 1305! I’m not tryna be on the YouTube tip… Street Fighter 30th anniversary is out! Don’t let me spend Tuesday watching this wrestling sh!t!

Oh f**k… so I end up watching this wrestling sh!t on a Tuesday and I got the blodclart game… ok let’s get through this as quick as possible…

Wait a minute – Elias almost swore on TV and the producers didn’t catch it!

Looks like you’re gonna sit there all night waiting for the pin drop… but you heard – BURN IT DOWN!!!!! Leave the building Elias… Monday Night Rollins is here!

This week’s contestant: Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL!!! Remember the rules! You must always say his name like that!

Once again Jinder’s bredrin got caught teefin! GET OUUUUUUUUTTTTTT!

JINDER MAHAL TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! he used the steel chair to the gut of Seth Rollins!

Wait a minute – I thought my dude was dashed out of the arena! REF STOP THE MATCH NOW!

Rollins is looking at the chair… he’s thinking f**k it – you f**k with my brudda Double R… I’m gonna f**k YOU UP! F**K THE TITLE MATCH!

Seth is beating this muthaf***a down because he’s so dyam teef!

HOLD UP! ELIAS TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF! He appeared out of nowhere and used the guitar to lick down Rollins! Rollins fell from the announce table off the stage! OH SNAP!!!

Rollins with neck brace wrapped around him, is trying to walk out on his own power! The crowd singing happy birthday to Seth Rollins! YES! It IS HIS BIRTHDAY! Do you think for one minute he can use the bathroom by himself?

GRANT BODY-P!

Unlucky Ascension! They actually put on a good showing against The Deletion Of Worlds…but this sh!t is boring me – I need Wyatt and Matt Hardy to start f**k!n with people… wrestling matches is all well and good but that sh!t means nothing without storyline!

Chad Gable is getting buss arse every week… when the f**k is Jason Jordan gonna show up and help his bredrin?

Question – I’m only seeing what YouTube allows me to – is Kevin Owens doing that sh!t with the camera on live tv what he does on house shows? That would be wild!

AAAH SHEEEEEEEEEEET! BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! He’s not finished with Kevin Owens! He’s gonna KILL!!!

If I was Bobby Roode – I’d get the f**k out too! It’s probably fun watching Kevin Owens get buss arse but this is BRAUN we are dealing with here!

I TOLD YOU!!!! See if that was me I would have haul @$$ to the top of the stage and celebrated at a distance!

He’s gonna be monster in the bank!!! Maybe he will win! It would be the most frightening cash in ever!!! I wouldn’t wanna be the World Wrestling Federation Universal champion let me tell ya! Even if your name is Brock Lesnar!

Finn Balor never lost the belt though! So he should have been up there from marnin!

HOLD UP! Finn Balor just slapped Braun! Oh my god  OHHH MYYYY GODDDDDD!!! YO YO YO!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING!!!

Just before Braun could destroy Finn Balor… KUUUUUUURTT!!! Had to come out quicktime!

Aaah! So that’s why Braun f**ked up Kevin Owens! Because during this match, Kevin Owens was talking sh!t on the microphone!

Remember boys and girls – this is from YouTube, and the sequence of events are not in order!

…and then Kevin Owens proceeded to go to the ring and f**k up a good match between Strowman and Balor!

LAWWWWWWWWWWWWD!!!! If Owens got ketch by that ladder that Braun dashed after him – it would have been curtains for sure!!!

Sami Zayn is reading a letter of apology to the WWE Universe for his segment last week with Bobby Lashley… yeah that was straight GARBAGE! I’m sure Bobby never signed back up for this!

Is it me or is Sami growing his beard more? Oh my god no Sami! Just because it worked for Harry when he got Meghan doesn’t mean it’s gonna work for you!

GRANT BODY-P!

WHOA! maybe Sami Zayn was sincere! Ok apology accepted – that beard ain’t working for you homes – GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

He claims everything he said about Lashley was true though… last time somebody didn’t apologise for the truth – he got thrown in jail!

What a nice young man in Bobby Lashley! Held out his hand to Sami asking for a match at the Money inna bank… he’s all smiling and sh!t… but then the smile disappears… uh-oh!

He’s crushing the bones in Zayn’s hand! How is Zayn gonna wrestle??? DON’T JUST STAND THERE YOU NINCOMPOOP – STOP HIM!

Women’s Gauntlet Match! winner goes to Money In The Bank…

Hold up – one Bayley to Bayley move later to Liv Morgan and it’s over? Why did these NXT gyal come to main roster in the first place? Unimportant – On to the next one!

WTF? Bayley is making these Riot girls look like b!tches! rolled up Sarah Logan like a pretzel!

ON TO THE NEXT ONE!

Clearly they didn’t like being treated like b!tches, and Ruby Riott picking up the scraps…

Dana Brooke comes on, and 2 second later gets kicked in her head… what is going on here? They might as well do the catwalk , pose, turn back round up the ramp and gone again!

Mickie James didn’t fall for the tricks, but gets her panty pulled for the pin! Come on Mickie look how long you have been in the game and you fall for that?

Sasha Banks, with the most sellotape on her shoulder… had this match won but the Riott Squad tried to teef!

AND THAT’S A TAP FROM THE BANK STATEMENT! Sasha Banks is going to Money In the Bank! I would say that Bayley may cost Sasha going forward but I’m not sure yet…

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I don’t know who that is but GOD DAYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!

Hold up  who is that chick trying to put Nia Jax in the arm bar???? I don’t know who that is but GOD DAYUUUUUUUUUUM!

Nia trying to show Rousey that she’s no match! Rousey is just smiling like – it’s all good!

“If I wanted, this leg could crush a woman’s chest…”

No no no Nia! SAVE THE T!TT!£$!!!!!

Look at Rousey she BEX! But Nia finds it humorous! Maybe Alexa was right – Nia IS THE REAL BULLY!

Now if you excuse me, I’m off to play that old school Street Fighter you get me! Because THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!!

Oh snap – I forgot to talk about this B-team Barbecue… this sh!t is only gonna turn into a food fight… and there are kids – including myself starving!

F**k this – about that Street Fighter game…

 

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Monday Night Raw #1304, May 21, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

MEGHAN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I just wanna take this time to big up Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex… Some sound advice from the Infamous Informer: Get your own supply at ALL TIMES. Learn Shaolin Kung Fu, some wrestling moves (strong style with a bit of Undertaker style preferred) and invest in some vibranium! YOU SAW THE LOOK THE QUEEN GAVE YOU??!!! She wants to KILL!!!!

Queen death look

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RAW 1304! I’m on the YouTube tip… I have been told it wasn’t that hot…

Say what? Baron Corbin like to collect human skulls?? Since when did this head reclining muthaf***a become the predator?

GRANT BODY-P!

No Way Jose lose again! I mean… was he called up from NXT to be a jobber??? Not good for you homie!

Have we gotta watch The B-Team Vs Breezango again??? Oh that’s ok – it didn’t last long – Breezango acting like a faggot as usual cost him the match, and now the B Team are rolling around on the canvas like Billy & Chuck… Lord help me…

Chad Gable is going nowhere fast… sorry kid, you need your bredrin back. American Alpha should never have split up. And that’s real.

Bobby Roode Vs Elias again?!!! What is this – The best of seven series????

The beef between Double R & Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! Continues! (see when you mention the modern-day mararrrrrrraja you have to say – Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL!

Kevin Owens & Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! Putting the beats to Double R when suddenly – BURN IT DOWN!!!!! Seth Rollins sends for the tandem engine!!!

DISRESPECT!!!! Sami Zayn gets guys to dress up in drag to diss Bobby Lashley? Are you serious right now… Ok fans – you are allowed to complain on the internet… If I was the crowd I would walk out word up…

WTF is Lashley wearing? Looks like some tight up sh!t… NO LASHLEY! Wear Roc-a-Wear jeans! What a good thing I didn’t watch this sh!t last night…

Let’s move on to the nicer things in life… The LADIES!!!!

Ember Moon Vs Alexa Bliss – I hope Ember beats out Alexa’s blodclart!

Mickie James tried to teef by taking off her show and lickin’ Ember Moon with it! Hey you’re not Ember’s mother??!!! Brings back memories!!!

GRANT BODY -P!

Mickie got ketch by the referee! God dayuuuum Mickie OWWWWWWWWWWW!! Ref – send her to my yard!! Girl looking fine like that – dayuuuuuuuuuuum!PIC_0038

Alexa tried a distraction roll up! Ember Moon BEXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!! Alexa ‘fraid now!

Ember Moon hit the Eclipse – BLAOW!!!! That’s my girl! EMBER MOON!!!

Wait a minute… Ronda Rousey gets a title shot against Nia Jax and suddenly Stephanie shows up??? I smell a rat here!

Kurt Angle & Stephanie in the ring… the intense sexual chemistry is still there! These two cannot lie to me!

Now look what you done Stephanie… you gone and mentioned Roman Reigns name…

I don’t know about you guys but I like Double R’s ‘Samoan Temper’! Yeah Stephanie – watch your tone girl! Or d!ck in your mouth!

GRANT BODY-P!

“You don’t want me near that Universal Championship, or that Money In the Bank contract…” Er Double R… you couldn’t be more wrong!!

Ha! Ha! Haaaaaaaaah! Look at Kevin Owens! putting his arm on Stephanie’s shoulder! Stephanie looks like she gonna say – GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME you McDonalds eating Jeremy Kyle muthaf***a!

Well she did… not in so many words!

Am I seeing right? Dana Brooke is in the ring fighting??? STOP PRESS! STOP THE ROYAL HONEYMOON! Harry if you are having sexual intercourse with Meghan STOP and PULL OUT RIGHT NOW! THIS IS HUGE!

GRANT BODY-P!

Natalya joins Alexa, Becky, Charlotte & Ember in the Money in the Bank ladder Match! Fantastic!

Yes the sequence of events are muddled up – I’m just going by what YouTube showed me ok?!!! I do have the common sense to know that the Kurt/Steph/Roman/Owens segment came on first leading to a singles match which ended in Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! being teef which made Seth Rollins Burn It down and now it’s turned into a tag match!

Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! Couldn’t take the pressure! The Shield won the match but dude is beating them down with steel chairs!

I don’t understand why Braun Strowman and Finn Balor are fighting each other but this is what we have! Braun Strowman tried that running around the ring sh!t but Balor was ready for him – Slingblade!!!

Oh man! Finn Balor giving Strowman such a fight that Strowman had to pull down his straps! Not even Brock Lesnar has made him do that!

Look at Stephanie trying to stir the pot with the contract signing! Something tells me Ronda Rousey and Nia Jax are gonna rush Stephanie and beat out her blodclart! At least that’s how I would armchair book it!

Stephanie thinks Ronda will tek foot and gone out of WWE if Nia beats her! That’s f**ked up! I’m sure Ronda knew what she signed up for!

Look at Nia! She looks like the super meter is building within her!!!

Ronda Rousey is left-handed! My family believes that left handed people are some clever muthaf***az!

Maybe Stephanie’s plan worked! Contracts are signed, hands are shook, eyes locked on, and look in the middle in the background that evil Stephanie! Is there a picture of this?

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STEPHANIE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!! That is straight VINCENT KENNEDY RIGHT THERE!

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Monday Night Raw #1302, May 7, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

SERIOUSLY???

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WALKING OUT THE JOINT? It couldn’t have been THAT BAD???

Guys – he didn’t win the World Wrestling Federation Championship… you do know that right?

You know what – your actions makes me NOT wanna write this blog word up!

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RAW 1302! Ok I do agree with you guys, Samoa Joe Vs Double R should NOT have been the main event… that’s taking the p!$$!

I got those big @$$ hula hoops, spicy chilli flavor, mint aero (actually I might put that back and wait for Smackdown because that’s Naomi flavour) and get the jaffa cakes… come on WWE give me some joke!

I am already experiencing problems with this stream, and with the mood I’m in, I might just switch it off, and put on that Cobra Kai thing on YouTube…  have you seen it yet? I’ve watched the first two episodes, and it’s already compelling! Good job Ralph Macchio!

Braun Strowman Vs Kevin Owens, winner goes through to Money Innah Bank… unlucky Kevin!!!

“THIS IS WHAT YOU DESERVE YOU COWARD!!!!”  Braun is f**k!n up Kevin Owens!

Check it – 4 superstars each from RAW & Smackdowns (Men & Women) will compete in the Money Innah Bank Ladder match… this is what I’m saying! STEP THEIR GAME UP! On the same token, this is on YOUR HEAD fans! You’re the ones like ‘cut down the PPVs’… so don’t come with your noise like ‘why is this guy not in it’??? SHUT THE F**K UP!

Happy Birthday Kevin Owens! Oh man! He really is getting birthday beatings!

HAHAHAHA!!!! The run around the ring and then box him down! PUT THAT MOVE IN WWE 2K19 PLEASE!!! What we do know… Braun is going to Money In The Bank… that’s worries for everybody!

The Big Dog is p!$$£d the f**k off!!! AND RIGHTFULLY SO! But what about Mr Lesnar? Aaaaaaah sheeeeeet he’s gonna beat the 434 streak for real!

Jinder thinks he should be in the Money In The Bank ladder match? He’s almost as insane as Kanye according to Jiggaman!

GRANT BODY-P!

Sasha Banks Vs Ember Moon Vs Ruby Riott… winner goes to Money In The Bank… Sasha girl you fine but backing Ember Moon here!!! OWWWWWWWW!!!

OH SH!T! Something went down in the crowd to make security escort them out the building! What the hell happened? Answers on a postcard please! Crowd was chanting YOU DESERVE IT! Don’t tell me someone was masturbating over Liv Morgan?

GRANT BODY-P!

The Riot Squad being teef with Sasha Banks! Bayley came down to help! But this enabled Ember Moon to hit the Eclipse on Ruby Riot – BLAOW!

Gotta love WWE right? Talking about Bobby Lashley’s career, and blatantly ignoring the

Renee ypung sexy ass

Photo courtesy of Edd Mulhall

TNA sh!t! Renee Young wants to know about Bobby Lashley the man… more like she secretly wants some BBC –

OH MY GOD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING!!! YO YO YO!!!! STOP IT!!!

Check it – Jinder Mahal must defeat Chad Gable…if he wants to get into the Money In the bank… wait – the Coach just said Chad reminds him of a young Kurt Angle… Jason Jordan are you watching this???

Jinder Mahal got the Collass on Chad Gable – BLAOW!!! But Mahal wanted to buss up Chad Gable after that… oh dear…

After all that!!!! Kurt Angle gave Jinder a NAUGHT! What a b!tch!

Who would want to Walk With Elias when you can Strut Gloriously with Bobby Roode??

There’s my pick right there!!! Bobby Roode to win the Money Innah Bank! Imagine the storylines going forward! Braun is too obvious… he would cause the most ruckus….actually he would be a good choice as well!

Who wants to test Seth Rollins for the Intercontinental Championship? Oh no… Mojo Rawley? This fool? Yo Seth – send for the TANDEM ENGINE!

Gotta admit – Mojo Rawley is going IN against Seth Rollins! But he couldn’t withstand the curb stomp – BLAOW!

Look at Rollins swinging the belt like a helicopter like his name is Petey Pablo!

Fancy that… The Deleater Of Worlds facing ‘Daxel’… Brother must fight brother! (Wyatt Vs Bo Dallas) This should be good!

Oh it’s finished already? Sorry I was playing Street Fighter…

GRANT BODY-P!

Finn Balor Vs Sami Zayn Vs Roman Reigns! Winner goes to Money Innah Bank! Imagine if Reigns won… oh boy oh boy!

OH SNAP! WWE is in the UK next week! Aaaah sheeeeeet! Get restraining orders ready for the following women: Natalya, Nia Jax, Naomi, Charlotte & Becky… if the Infamous Informer is within 10 feet of those lovely young ladies – arrest him on the spot!

WWE SPICE GIRLS

Jinder Mahal baited it up for Reigns! He’s gonna pay for that I will assure you!

Finn Balor hits the Coup De Grace on Sami Zayn! Balor advances! Are you happy now muthaf***az? Balor is on a PPV! Now shut the f**k up!

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1301, April 30, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

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Imagine! I’m supposed to talk about how Titus O Neill became a Shame of a Nation at the Greatest Royal Rumble… but someone from the Smack Talk Centre decides to tag me in the picture above… NIAAAAA JAAAAAAXXXX! She’s just baaaaaaaad! Imagine her riding your tings! Whining those hips! I am so surprised Redman hasn’t shown up to a WWE event yet… imagine a storyline with Nia & Redman… it would be the best ever!

Redman approves

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…AMBER RUDD. Now she knows what it feels like to be signing on at the Job Centre. I hope they take away her benefits, evict her, and send her back to… Timbuktu!!

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RAW 1301! I haven’t done this blogging thing in a while, lets see if I still got it!

Jerry Lawler calls it Bizarro Land, I call it THE PROMISED LAND! The home of my real life woman (Hi Leanna!) RAW is in Canada, and they are booing the hell out of Roman Reigns!

Come on Canada – it’s not like he retired The Undertaker!!!!

Oh dear! Canada you might as well start cheering Reigns – you boo Samoa Joe and now you boo Jinder Mahal!

Jinder Mahal believes he can win the Universal Championship! Wait – Sami Zayn gets cheered!!!! Well that’s alright then! we didn’t wanna boo him anyway!

Oh no – they might boo Bobby Lashley – he prevented Zayn from going to the Greatest Royal Rumbles! They might chant ‘YOU SCREWED BRET’ er I mean ZAYN!

GRANT BODY-P!

And now they cheer Kevin Owens! Would this technically mean Danny Bryan would get booed??? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me – @MZATheInfamous!

Well at least the crowd wanna see Roman Reigns fight! He gets butts in the seats!!!

Trust in Braun to clean house! He gets cheered – Can’t go wrong!

Oh no – Elias in concert? I didn’t pay to see him? I’m still hurt I didn’t get to see Killah Priest and Lords Of The Underground!!!

I gotta give Elias his props, I don’t think he was meant to get this over with the fans…

Oh no Bobby Roode f**ked up his throat! Elias announces himself as the winner… it would have been even better if Elias sent for the guitar and started singing about Roode’s throat! That would have been TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!

Wait a minute – two local French Canadian wannabe La Resistance fools wanna get buss arse by The Authors Of Pain?? They got entrance music too! WHOA! Did Barry Horowitz get that sh!t? Answers On A Postcard please!

Charly Caruso did ask the fools why…. they should have told her the truth – they wanna get a quick $3000!

GRANT BODY-P!

You know some fool at the Chiarshot  FB wrestling group asked – why Seth Rollins didn’t help join the six man tag match with Reigns & Lashley against Mahal & Sami & Kevin later? FOLLOW THE STORYLINE! WRESTLING IS STORYLINE! See that’s why fans don’t make any sense when they claim to book better than the official bookers! (Not saying that the WWE Bookers are perfect – they’re not) but fans are just that – FANS! KNOW YOUR ROLE!

I don’t think even Seth Rollins was prepared for this ovation! Anyone would think he was inducted in the Hall of Fame!

Ok enough of this French talk from the guys – let’s hear it from the women! (Not you Alexa you’re ugly)

GRANT BODY-P!

The crowd is crazy!!!! There’s probably some idiot sitting behind the computer screen like – ‘I want the attitude era’ back…

I can’t believe Curtis Axel & Bo Dallas wanted to form the 4 Horsemen with Balor and Seth! That’s disrespect to Flair! They must want Flair to take off his clothes in disgust!

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Oh yeah that goes for Ruby Riot – Do NOT SPEAK French!

But Sasha – you can speak French all day!!! OH YEAH!!!

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Even the boss lady was no match for the Riott Squad. She and Bayley (and maybe somebody else – Rousey maybe?) should stop being b!tches and combine their force!

Now I was gonna retire to my bed because I am mad tired – but yo – Titus is coming on! The star!!!!

But just before that – Alexa wants sympathy – she gets NONE FROM ME! As far as I’m concerned – she can GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE with her crocodile tears! And I hope she BURNS IN HELL!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

“This is for everybody who had a ‘Nia’ in their life”… Well THE GRANT SAYS – if ‘Nia’ looks like that – I WANT HER IN MY LIFE! GOD DAYUUUUUUUM!

Titus admitted that he took the L! What a good sport!! He’s smiling too! As usual Baron Corbin is hating… watch this – Corbin gonna lose!

As for Woken Matt Hardy & Wyatt… YAAWWWWWWNNN look at the time! Past my bedtime! (Nothing to do with the RAW Tag Team Champions, I am actually genuinely tired.) Goodnight wrestling fans, don’t let the Double R bugs bite you in your basement @$$!

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Good morning True wrestling fans! Welcome back, and I hope you are still joining in at home. I wake up this morning praising the lord for another day, but also contemplating how to get that God Of War game… like I want the game but I have so much going on I don’t want to regret it financially. Anyway enough rambling on, let’s watch the rest of RAW! Where’s my coffee at?

Drew Wackintyre & Dolph Ziggler think every superstar should be afraid… I don’t know about you but when you have guys like Bray Wyatt, Matt Hardy, The Authors of Pain, Bobby Lashley & Braun around… this is the part where I become my favorite superhero as I say this:

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I know everyone’s favourite hero is Thanos right now… sorry – Blade is STILL DA MAN!

OH NO!!!!! Titus clearly using his misfortune and turning it into a positive to f**k up Baron Corbin! No Way Jose caught Corbin with a distraction roll up! I know Shadfather & Icy Fresh loves those! I think Corey Graves is on to something… No Way Jose joining Titus Worldslide??? I could slide to that!!!

I so cannot wait to see Alexa Blitch get BUSS ARSE by Nia Jax again! Alexa got life though this week because if Ronda Rousey ketch haar Alexa would be in a box! And we don’t want that now do we lads? It would be a sad day for you while I be Thanos laughing in your face!

GRANT BODY-P!

Great wrestling contest between Seth Rollins and Finn Balor – well do we expect anything less? Reversals galore, near falls, beautiful! Unlucky Balor – But you don’t have a match at Backlash though… er uh-oh! Therin lies WWE’s problem! So much talent its unreal.

A team with Double R, Lashley and Braun… there’s no way Sami Jinder and Kevin can beat them surely???

OH NO NOT AGAIN! Every time Sami & Kevin find their feet on the outside, Braun knocks them down again! But this move in WWE2K19 PLEASE!!!!! Make it a OMG! Moment! Because that sh!t is too funny!

Now…it’s gonna hurt me, but if I want God of War, Burnout Paradise will have to leave the building temporarily. Just like business, you have to make tough decisions. John and Nikki know all about tough decisions…

GRANT BODY-P!

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