Tag Archives: WWE

Monday Night Raw #1321, September 17, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I wanna take this time to thank the PWL massive and crew for inviting me out to their event ‘An evening with BRAM’…it was at this moment I realised why wrestling fans enjoy these sort of events because they get exclusive behind the scenes stories…THE GRANT SAYS THIS: I definitely want to attend more of these events, especially if the wrestler is female!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like… Jeff Hardy. Yes I know you wanted to entertain the people, but how you manage to let Randall twist your earlobes with a screwdriver like that??? Damn homie!

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RAW 1321! UN-DER-TAY-KER! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!!!!

Before I go in, I just found out that WWE are going back to Saudi Arabia for the Crown Jewel PPV… so after the women get blessed with Evolution, they get dissed straight after… but I did go on record and say – I am all for Saudi Arabia PPVs because they come on at a nice time over here in the UK.

I gotta respect Renee Young’s professionalism. Mike Cole asked her about Dean Ambrose as a ‘different’ superstar coming back from injury and she’s talking about all this frustration and anger he had on his way to coming back… I don’t know about you guys, but if you got Renee Young as your woman…the word ‘frustration’ doesn’t exist unless you’re playing the game by Milton Bradley!

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BARON CORBIN TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!! Word is that Seth Rollins is not in the building… if Dolph invokes his rematch clause and Seth is not present, Corbin gonna strip him of the title??!!! SERIOUSLY???!!!!! Where Kurt at???

Wait a minute! Seth has arrived!!! It is Monday Night Rollins after all! One day somebody gonna curb stomp Corbin’s head top!!!! OUTTA ORDA!

Ronda Rousey wants to do the open challenge thang! Who wants to step up and test Ronda??? Come on  ladies you have the wrestling skills to overthrow her don’t you? Go on Alicia Fox get in there!

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So… in the Bram interview that happened at Riley’s, it was revealed that when you go for a WWE tryout, you get paid £300… just like that for one day…. sheeeeeeeeet makes me wanna go for a tryout! So how much do you get paid for getting buss arse by the Authors of Pain? Yo I got bills to pay – that £300 may come in handy!

Interesting segment! Lio Rush cusses Elias for singing the same old sh!t and Elias asks Dallas ‘Who’s kid is this?’ Hahaha nice!

You see this match right here? Bayley Vs Dana Brooke? Loser becomes a B!TCH! You know why? Because in Bayley’s case she and Sasha came out introducing the ‘superstars of tomorrow’ with the Connor’s Cure thing right, in Dana’s case she acts like she doesn’t need Titus Worldwide… it’s a MUST WIN situation for both in my book!

Dana lose again… I bet Apollo and Titus are probably thinking – aah she was just good giving hed anyway!

The tag team women’s division continues  to develop here! Ember Moon and Nia Jax as a team??? Holy smokes! THAT IS A TEAM!

How old is Alicia Fox??? She’s 32 y’all!!! That means she was maaaad young when she started! Probably around Paige’s age when she started in WWE… Alicia could stay in the WWE for another 8 years if she wanted to! With her Nicki Minaj wannabe looking @$$!

THAT IS A DISS BY THE WAY FOLKS!

Both RR & Braun are bex with Brock Lesnar! I think at this point it’s safe to call Braun a ‘tweener’ in this situation…

WWE CROWN JEWEL

So THAT’S HOW IT’S GOING! I see jabronies on the internet complaining about this already… I know I didn’t just post a song about getting your d!ck sucked by a hot dimepiece!

The mood Braun Strowman is in… I don’t think Paul Heyman should run his mouth on the mic! Braun is liable to clap him down!

You mean… Braun is just standing there? I don’t understand this!

Braun is disappointing me! What happened to his T-1000 like run? If he ran after Heyman it would have been all over! Writers FIX UP!

Hahahahahahah where is Corbin going seriously? World Wrestling Federation Title Match? Ok Roman Reigns… f**k him up!

Damn Ronda got sellotape on her ribs! Did she have that in the UFC? I doubt it!

Ronda wants to be the best champion???? I can’t lie I’m catching feelings for this girl – I see where  Jamms co-host Shadfather is coming from!

Seems like Natalya wants to step up! Alright that’s good!!! LET’S GO!!!

HOLD ON – TEEEEEEEF! The Riott Squad already dun f**ked her up! er… what do we do now?

RUBY RIOTT STEPS UP!!! Ok here we go!!!! F**K HER UP RONDA!!!

The Riott Squad have rushed the ring! Did the bell even sound? I don’t think there’s a ref in that muthaf***a!

The Bella Twins???? Where are they going? You think they wanna get Ronda onto Total Divas? (Actually that’s not a bad idea… considering the women can go more sexually explicit on that show… and Ronda… GOD DAYUUUUUUM!)

Seth Rollins Vs Dolph Ziggler! Seth answered the challenge! If Dolph doesn’t win… then it’s gonna be difficult for me to decide who gets the b!tch of the week award!

Hahahahaha Corbin you f**k!n b!tch! why you throw a chair at RR like that for? You’re not Braun Strowman muthaf***a!!!

HEY TEEF – he’s changing the rules!!! It won’t help him… have you seen RR when he goes off? Ask Triple Teef!

It’s NO DQ! BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! IS COMING! HE’S NOT FINISHED WITH RR! But is he finished with Corbin?

Corbin believes he can win!!! He hit the Deep Six – BLAOW! The leg is hooked! 1, 2 and…. NO!!! Not so easy!!!!

Wackintyre and Ziggler are back to teef! the Shield coming through right after them! It is bare ruckus right now!

RR able to recover… hits the spear to Corbin – BLAOW! Here’s the cover! 1, 2 and…3!!! Corbin go and CLEAN TOILETS!!!

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Now the main event! UN-DER-TAY-KER! CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP!

No one has a more broken soul than Triple TEEF! YES! Undertaker speaks the truth!

Delusion will be his downfall!!! PREACH!!!!

There was a time when Triple was wicked! Savage! YES! He used the hammer and used to ride with 10 man! That was the Triple I knew! He got rid of Austin for a year! Turned his back on all his friends! Married the boss’ daughter! Drugged her and put it in! Pretended to be Kane and had sex with a corpse! Retired Mick Foley and bragged about it! Beat up The Rock every week with his 10 men! That’s the Triple I knew! DIRTY TEEF!

Shawn Michaels cannot do any sly tricks! Because my hero Kane will be there too in Australia! So if Shawn wants to kick down the Undertaker… Kane will be there to grab Shawn by the throat and CHOKESLAM!!!!! CHOKESLAM!!!!

“I’m gonna take Triple H’s career, but it seems that he deserves far worse…”

YES! He was so dyam teef! (sorry if you haven’t figured it out by now… I’m an Undertaker mark… ) you think of all the evil Triple has done over the years! No Justice, No Peace!!!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1319, September 3, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I made it plain the jump… I NEVER CARED ABOUT ALL IN. But I have to give props where props is due. Cody Rhodes – YOU ARE THE MAN OK! I never watched your sh1t… but I heard your sh!t was off the hook. You have a wrestling future my friend. (Well you’re not really my friend… but your wife… I WANNA GET FRIENDLY WITH HER!!!)

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like… Machine Gun Kelly. When Kevin Owens powerbombed him through the stage it must have malfunctioned his brain in the process…He dissed Eminem??? Best dig that grave… can’t say I’ll miss him though…

SHUT THE F**K UP AND GET IN THE BOX!!!

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RAW 1319! So why didn’t you watch ALL IN Grant? (I was at the GZA concert… Wu-Tang wins over pro wrestling ALL DAY!)

Before I go IN… remind me to pay for my WWE Network y’all… I need to see this… my moms favourite McMahon… just like her husband – she was SO TEEEEEEEEEF but my god I respect her big time… not to mention she sexy as f**k…

Stephanie all business

..and according to @_Aydenn_ on twitter, RAW was awful this week… he just came off watching ALL IN! He has no sympathy from me… or is he right???

Two things – they got Renee Young back on commentary! YES! And Chad Gable is killing the Ascension with suplexes! And not one muthaf***a is chanting SUUU-PLEX – CII-TY! Even Bobby Roode thought that was GLORIOUS! So the fans are the problem!

Alexa Blitch wants to Walk With Elias? So it’s not about Braun Strowman anymore? Urgh – DUTTY GYAL!!!!

Is Alexa really from Columbus Ohio? Irrelevant

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! THANK YOU RONDA ROUSEY! I’m not tryna see Elias and Alexa get it on in the ring! This isn’t pornhub muthaf***a!!!

Hold on a second – Sasha & Bayley are fighting Ember Moon???? did I miss an episode of RAW or something???

Oh I get it – she was teamed with Dana Brooke… no heels/faces over here folks!

Oh no!!! Dana Brooke is through with Titus Worldwide? What did she expect them to do – hit Sasha and Bayley with Steel Chairs?

GRANT BODY-P!

Er… why are Ziggler and Wackintyre attacking the Revival like that? I think I have missed an episode of RAW! None of this is making sense right now!

…Or maybe it DOES! Took out the Revival so that Wackintyre & Ziggler can get the titles! If The B Team win this… COME ON B TEAM!!!!

The one time I put my faith in the B Team, and they lose! Bloody useless!!!!

Are you serious right now? Alexa Blitch using the armbar to Natalya? Come on Natalya  you trained in the family dungeon! Don’t let this b1tch beat you? Don’t let Anvil turn in his grave!

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OH NO! F**K! Anvil has seen disgrace in the afterlife! I thought the Hart family knew how to get out of submissions?

Hold on a second – where’s Drake Maverick going? He looks out-of-place with the Authors Of Pain!!! Or is that the idea?

Er – how did the Shield get arrested??? Even they are not above the law! I may have to rewind and come again!

I know Braun Strowman is powerful and Wackinytre is what I say he is – WACK, but Dolph Ziggler just said they are the most powerful force in history???? Er…. boys???? Get out here!!!

Undertaker Kane

Don’t you just love when The Shield come down the stairs the way they do? It’s just brilliant!

OH SNAP!!! Baron Corbin sent the locker room after The Shield! This is not good!

This is like a full-scale – ‘I’M GONNA KILL YOU! YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO!’

Doesn’t justify why they got arrested though… anyway…

I’m not sure if Bobby Lashley wanted to go the comedic route but it made me chuckle, mocking Jinder Mahal like that!

I knew it! That dastardly Kevin Owens! he said it in his promo last week – that he hated how Bobby Lashley took Sami Zayn out the game! Didn’t you fools see that coming? Come on be smarter than that!

I thought Brie Bella had retired! Aaah f**k it – if she wants to wrestle again – why not? It’s up to her! I ain’t complaining!

The Bellas have still got it! That’s one for their Season 3 episode of Total Bellas! – Yep – women’s tag titles are on the way surely!

If you needed any more validation, Braun is officially a heel, riding with Wackintyre and Ziggler, and he just defeated Finn Balor… now he wants to break his back off the steel steps but wait! WOOP WOOP! IT’S THE SOUND OF THE POLICE!!!

One thing that puzzles me – why arrest WWE superstars when bail is pocket change to them?

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It makes me wonder if Renee Young has fantasies about being in bed with ALL THREE MEMBERS of The Shield! You know women love men in uniform!

OH MY GODDDDDDDD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING! YO YO YO!

HEY – TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF! The Shield just got rushed!!!

Holy smokes – they charged Seth Rollins right into the police van! BLAOW!!! Glass shattered and everything!

Braun threw steel steps after Roman Reigns! OH LAWWWWWD!

I have never seen The Shield get buss arse like this! It took 10 man, three of them being Braun and the Authors of Pain to f**k them up!

NOW… the main event… I see a thumbnail of Shawn Michaels and Undertaker in the ring! I think I need to click this link!!!! LET’S GO IN!

Does Triple Teef have more left in the tank than Undertaker? He probably does!! But he did practically all his career and he STILL couldn’t beat Undertaker!!!!

Fancy that? It took Shawn Michaels half a promo and just like that, the bell tolls! I bet John Cena feels REALLY BAD now doesn’t he?

GRANT BODY-P!

Question – does arena smoke count as pyro??? BAD MAN FI COME!

“How long has it been? 20 years? I have took the best that you had, I have took the best that Triple H had, and I have put you both DOWN!!!”

At that point if I was HBK – I’d leave the ring!!! Well as soon as the bell tolled I would start hauling @$$!

Undertaker is saying is straight – he took HBK’s soul and career! Why do these two wanna continue f**k!n with Undertaker? Their egos won’t accept it! Very much like Machine Gun Kelly going after Eminem right?

GRANT BODY-P!

HBK is a man of integrity! He speaks the truth! I wonder if he’s throwing shots here? because we all thought Undertaker retired at WrestleMania 33… and look what happened there?

HBK said he stayed retired out of respect for the fans! But they are chanting ONE MORE MATCH??!!!! A WHA DE RARSE?

This segment is gripping!!! I am holding on to every word from these two!

“Is it respect? Or is it fear? Because you could easily come out of retirement, and come for one person – ME… and I would put you down all over again!”

I think Undertaker is giving HBK permission to fight again!!! Holy f**k!

Sorry Wardle – you’re trippin… ALL IN got ALL IN your head! AND THAT’S REAL!

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Monday Night Raw #1318, August 27, 2018!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

GUUUUUUUUUUUUUURLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

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Imagine, you wake up in the morning, (we are all guilty of this) before we even stretch our arms and get our yawn on… we reach for our phones and check our Facebook and twitter and instagram… in my case that’s what happened… and the first thing I see is a picture of my ‘wife who got away…’ OHHHHHHHHHH!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1318! I should care what is about to happen but when you find out Streets Of Rage 4 is coming out – caring has gone out the window!

Before I go in with the week’s fun and frolics, I gotta give maximum props to Rhea Ripley… who managed to win a championship, and pose with the title without that dastardly Triple TEEF all up in the photo!

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Now… didn’t I watch The B-Team Vs The Revival last week??? I’m sure I did! I’m not watching that sh!t again…

Aaaah sheeeeeet they got WWE legends predicting who gonna win between the best that ever did it (Undertaker) and the best TEEF who ever did it (Triple H…) I mean this was my dream match that already happened at WrestleMania 28….I want to say I’m not bothered anymore BUT THIS IS THE UNDERTAKER we are talking about here!

Jeff Jarrett says the Undertaker! GOOD LAD!

Kevin Nash says Undertaker!!! Yep – Undertaker pretty much ran him to WCW!

GRANT BODY-P!

Christian has a point… Triple has NEVER beaten the don of dons! Not in big match situations anyway!

Mick Foley knows his role! He learnt his lesson after making Paul Bearer work for him, trying to bury Undertaker alive, all that sh!t!

Ric Flair says UNDERTAKER! Oh dear – not many have faith in Triple!

DDP says The Undertaker! Yep – DDP stalked Sara, he learned his lesson! He ain’t tryna go after Michelle McCool, even after his Yoga training!

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Booker-T says The Undertaker!!! He learned his lesson too in 2004!

Big Show says Undertaker! Damn Triple!!! It’s because Triple cannot win without using the hammer! He used the hammer on Taker before and STILL lost!

Uh Oh, Stone Cold Steve Austin is talking…he knows his wrestling sh!t more than most! He says Triple H will win! I’d love to know how I can say that much!

Even the Infamous Informer, who is an Undertaker fan to the core, thinks Triple will win and here’s why.

Undertaker has nothing to lose. His streak is not on the line, it’s not WrestleMania. It’s not a young cat, like Roman Reigns. Undertaker has beaten him every time in big match situations. Even my dream match has already happened. If Undertaker was to win again, don’t get me wrong I would be over the moon. But this is eating away at Triple Teef like it did The Rock when it came to defeating Stone Cold Steve Austin at WrestleMania. Triple wants to be the one who can say ‘I beat Sting AND the Undertaker, the two most loyal superstars in their respective companies-errrrrr!!!’

Meanwhile… Braun Strowman is giving his Money In the Bank briefcase away? SERIOUSLY??? Ok this is new….

There he is! Seth Rollins! Where’s this ‘heel status’ with the Shield you wrestling internerds were talking about? YOU F**K!N HEEDIAT!

GRANT BODY-P!

Kevin Owens answers the challenge! Remember when he answered John Cena’s challenge a few years ago? Holy smokes that was epic!

Kevin Owens truly believes if his bredrin Sami Zayn was around he would be the Universal Champion! Did you see when the camera cut to the one dude in audience? He was REALLY into that sh!t! Probably hates Roman Reigns and gets no pu$$y…

I forgot – they are in bizarro land! So Kevin Owens gonna get cheered all the way through this!

The camera cut to that same dude again! SIT YOUR SKINNY @$$ DOWN!

That’s what you get for supporting Kevin Owens – just like that – he just shut you down by preferring Montreal Quebec than Toronto!

You d!ckheads still chanting ‘Fight Owens Fight’…. REEEE-TAAARRRD!

HOLD UP – Owens hit the Stunner!!!! I bet Austin dropped his beers right there!

You gotta send for the pedigree now Rollins! That was outta orda!

Pat Patterson is watching this match! That’s what Mike Cole just said! If I was either Owens or Seth… don’t let the camera show your behind!

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Aaaah sheeeeet! Did you see how quick Kevin Owens executed the moonsault – and MISSED? Holy smokes – this is a great match!

Rollins was able to retain! But HOLY SMOKES! Did Kevin Owens just do a ‘CM P**k’? Or a ‘Batista’???? He rage quit the game like that? I know nuff guys like him who rage quit on me because my M.Bison on Street Fighter V was too much for them!

WHOA!!! GOD DAYUUUUUUUUUM! Is it me, or does Trish Stratus look EVEN BETTER NOW than she did 15 years ago?

Natalya doesn’t look amused… and Ronda Rousey looks like she wants to buss up Alexa again!

How the f**k is Alexa gonna diss these three? She just called Trish ‘irrelevant’! Oh my days my blood is boiling… I’m gonna have to call my sisters again…Grant reloaded

You really think that if I was Ronda/Natalya/Trish – I would stand there and let this ugly rarse talk to me like that? This b!tch talks too much!

Alexa is sending for her rematch clause at the Hell In A Cell! Good for her! Now Ronda can f**k her up again!

Oh no! Alexa and Alicia sent for Mickie James! She’s gonna fall in lust with Trish again! That’s not a bad thing… THAT’S A GOOD THING!

While Alicia and Natalya are fighting, Mike Cole and Coach just told us of the possibility that if Alexa was able to defeat Ronda Rousey, Alexa could walk in to Evolution as the champion and face Trish, and Trish could walk out the women’s champion! WHOA!!!! Trish looks like she has another run left in her!

Natalya won that with flying colours! Mickie and Alexa didn’t like that sh!t!

It might be TV time… but this is foolishness! Bobby Lashley f**ked up the Ascension like it was nothing! Honestly I feel for both parties… Lashley seems to be going further away from the main event picture while The Ascension may never taste tag team gold… sad state of affairs!

I gotta say this might be Dana Brooke’s best performance in a while! Anyone would think the Evolution sign was hung up and the women point to the sign!

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She still lost to Sasha but… still!

Why is this match between Finn Balor & Baron Corbin still happening? I wasn’t gonna write about this sh!t but Toronto say Corbin can’t wrestle!

Wait a minute! The Bella Twins? They can’t be here???? They are so eggs up!!!!

(for those who don’t understand the Jamaican terminology – ‘eggs up’ roughly means ‘over friendly for personal gain’… like – why are they there celebrating Ronda’s success like there was a connection to begin with?)

The Bellas are back in action next week! WHOA! There must be an imaginary Evolution sign hung up in the arena!

I hate Selfies!! but if it looks like this – who am I to complain?

Ronda Natalya Trish Bella

I don’t know who loves the fact Ambrose now fights without his vest – the women or the men?

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Aaaah snap! Double R is coming through with his mic skills! he will never be the best but hey, if you don’t give props where it’s due – YOU’RE THE PROBLEM!

“Running around talking about ‘Get These Hands’, sure, you use them to pick up cars, ambulances, stages, but my hands pick up championships…” GUNSHOT!

Braun is talking as if they are going to Hell In A Cell! Not enough hatred there for me but the rivalry is there!

Oh snap! Elias is dissing Drake! When somebody like Elias has to diss Drake – YOU KNOW DRAKE IS NOT WELCOME ON RePPiN4U HIP HOP SHOW!

Wait a minute – Trish??? I don’t understand this!

Hold on a second – Trish just used Elias catchphrases against him! She just told him to hold his applause! He probably wants to hold the boner he got in his jeans right now!

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Elias continues to run down Toronto about not seeing the Stanley Cup… Trish counters ‘Kinda like you not winning the WWE Championship!’

Elias is hoping for a swimsuit model pillow fight! Er Elias… the attitude/ruthless aggression era is THAT WAY!!

“I don’t date women in their 60’s…” If Trish looks like that at 60 – I’d be willing to take that risk!

OH SHEEEEEEEEEEEET!!! WHAT A RIGHT HAND FROM TRISH!!! BLAOW!!!

Then… in the tag team contest between Braun & Roman Vs Wackityre and Ziggler… Roman tagged in Braun…Braun stands up there and looks at Ziggler and Wackintyre coldly… but SWITCH! He utters those horrific words – I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!! And JUST. LIKE. THAT. He f**ked up The Shield with the aid of Ziggler and Wackityre!

THERE’S YOUR HEEL TURN MUTHAF***AZ!!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1316, August 13, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

The Heaven Wrestling Federation has gained a new superstar y’all…

Hart Foundation

Yo Anvil… tell Owen, The British Bulldog and Brian Pillman we said hello… holy smokes… they got The Hart Foundation… minus Bret…

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RAW 1316! Aaaaaah sheeeeeet SUMMERSLAM SOON DROP!!! Brace yourselves… the ‘NXT Takeover is better than Summerslam’ memes are coming…

Oh Yeah! Renee Young is gonna do her thing on commentary this week! OHHHHHHHH! I love that woman!!! More than Dean Ambrose! YEAH I SAID IT! Dean is representing for the lads though so maximum ratings! Let’s get a pic of Renee Young… FOR NO REASON!

Renee BIG

Renee loves Hip Hop… DAMNIT I wished I saw her first!

DID YOU KNOW? That Tyler Breeze still has a job here at the World Wrestling Federation? I know – neither did I!

Corbin says – this is a Man’s World… If he loses now… he will bring disgrace to James Brown and himself…

But he hits the Deep Six super move  – BLAOW! 1, 2 and…3! He’s managed to save face!

Who the f**k is Ricky Roberts? Calls himself a fan of Elias… even Shawn Michaels himself must feel embarrassed as a fan of country music himself!

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They say don’t meet your heroes as you will be disappointed… well I’m glad to say that doesn’t apply to me – as I already met Ghostface Killah and that man is surprisinglyGRANTFACE KILLAH humble. But in the case of Ricky Roberts… his hero just told him to brukk up Bobby Lashley…

I know Ricky Roberts did not just try to hit Bobby Lashley with the guitar… somebody is going underneath the ground tonight… and that’s all there is to it!

Spinebuster by Lashley – BLAOW!!! Ricky – I tried to warn you that country music is wack! No one listens to that sh!t!

Question – what the rarse is Alicia Fox wearing on her head top? It looks like one of those flower filter things you jabronies like to do on your gidgets gadgets!

Alexa Blitch better find a way to defeat Ember Moon you know why? Because if Ronda Rousey fails… Ember Moon is more than a threat to that title!

Alexa Blitch just blew a kiss to Ronda Rousey! I know Alexa… Ronda is sexy as f**k!

GRANT BODY-P!

Mind games against Ember Moon? Bad idea! Ember looks like Blade the daywalker had sex with Regina King and out came Ember Moon!!!!

Ember hit the Eclipse! BLAOW! Here’s the cover! 1, 2 and… Alicia Fox TEEEEEEEEF! Ember had the match won right there! She nearly pointed to the Summerslam sign (Oh wait…)

GRANT BODY-P!

Rousey twisted up Alicia! I thought Rousey was gonna take Alicia’s bad arm and brukk it up again!

But before all this happened… Ronda had to address Jim ‘The Anvil’ Neidhart…

“…Our fathers are pillars of strength in a hostile world…they are our reassurance that everything is going to be ok…but when that reassurance is ripped away, we have to face the fact that our fathers have been raising us to be the pillars of strength that our families need when they’re gone.”

REAL TALK. Which is why those Jeremy Kyle Female jabronies who try to claim father’s day as their own – STOP THAT SH!T. Unless you can kick ball with your kids, learn to fish with your kids, learn to fix machinery with your kids, do all that father sh!t… instead you’re there with your gidgets gadgets being an attention seeker on Facebook, throwing up selfies and filters and sh1t, with your dutty draws on the concrete floor while taking a selfie, taking photos of your dinner like that is supposed to impress me, all that sh1t… I say this to you ratchets…

SEAN PRICE - STFU

Cannot lie this Triple Threat match for the tag team titles is maaaaaaaad!!! The Revival hit the shatter machine on Wyatt though – BLAOW! But Curtis Axel was the legal man! 1, 2 and… 3!!!! STILL THE TAG CHAMPIONS!!!

Their entrance music sounds like some Power Rangers sh1t! B-TEAM B-TEAM GO GO GO GO! F**K OUTTA HERE!

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Seen! So there was a clause in the contract saying there would be somebody in each corner! Been as Drew Wackintyre is so TEEF, Seth Rollins made sure he sent for his bredrin!

Since Ziggler got a Scottish Psychopath, Rollins needs a LUNATIC in his corner! Y’ALL KNOW!

You can’t call him the Lunatic Fringe anymore! Fringe GARNE! He looks like he’s been pumping iron too!

Straight away Mike Cole f**ks up ‘The Lunatic Fringe is back!’ DYAM ARSE! That’s why they training up Renee Young to replace your @$$!

Talking of which… Renee might be getting wet….WITH PERSPIRATION!!! Calling this segment!!!

Dean Ambrose looks like he could pass for Vinny Jones younger brother who just come out of prison!

Either WWE and Vincent Kennedy did some serious crowd editing or they are really with Double R right now!

“I’m gonna send Brock so far down the UFC he’s gonna have his head stuck up Dana White’s @$$!” 

Haters – YOU HAVE NO BARS – That line right there? Had Austin or The Rock say that same sh!t, You would be losing your mind right now!

Heyman has shaved his beard! He looks a lot better than last week! He looked like he was having a breakdown and sh!t! Sorry – after Mark Herny’s award-winning performance, even going back to ‘who ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin’ when I knew from day one that Triple TEEF was behind it… I don’t fall for sh!t these days!

WHOA! Heyman is f**k!n with the internerds right now! RRRRRRRRoman…RRRRRReigns!!!! Sounds good doesn’t it internerds? Yeah go and have sex with your sister…

OH MY GOD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING!!!! YO YO YO!!!! STOP IT!!!!

You think Double R likes that idea? You can see it is swirling in his head top!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WTF IS THAT? TEAR GAS? PAUL HEYMAN TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!! OH SH1T I’M DUN!!!!!! THIS IS BRILLIANT!

OHHHHHHH NO!!! NOW BROCK LESNAR’S MUSIC HIT! SOMEBODY GONNA GET F**KED UP TONIGHT!

“A man can’t see he can’t fight!” Corey Graves has been watching The Karate Kid 3 lately!

Is that a guillotine choke Brock’s putting on Double R? AAAH SHEEEEEEET! Dana White must be killing full set of teet right now!

Haters chanting ONE MORE TIME! After Brock hit the first F-5! Holy smokes! You BARBARIANS!

This also happened right after Ronda spoke about Natalya’s pops… Alexa Blitch and her flower filter friend come out talking sh1t…

Oh man… if I was Ronda – I would SOOOOO cane row my hair at Summerslam and show this b!tch that I’m not playing! F**K that – I would get disqualified on purpose if it meant f**k!n up Alexa Blitch! Break her arm CLEAN!!!!

Oh lord look at these WWE developme- er I mean security guys to protect Alexa from Ronda Rousey! 4 strapping men I might add!!! If I was Ronda I would hire Batman! YOU HAVE SEEN WHAT HE DOES IN THOSE ARKHAM GAMES!

HEY TEEEEEF! Alexa ran through the security and knocked Ronda off the apron! Here we go!!!

Security are doing their job! Kinda reminds me of Takeshi’s Castle where the contestant has to get past the emerald guards with the football!

Grid_iron

Oh snap she got through! Judo tossed one of em, kicked down another, throwing fists to a third! And look at the black security guard just standing there like – LAWWWWWWWWD! NO SAH! ME GARNE!

That was brilliant! See this is that WWE sh!t I like! BARE JOKES!!! You notice I skipped like 3 or 4 wrestling matches? Yeah because it’s BORING to talk about wrestling!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! I’M DUN! THEY GOT TERRY CREWS TO HOST SUMMERSLAM! LOOK AT HIS FACE! OH I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO SUMMERSLAM NOW! BRING ON THE SMACK TALK CENTRE GATHERING!

IN-DEED!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1313, July 23, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Screenshot_2018-07-23 Stephanie McMahon ( StephMcMahon) Twitter

…and the guessing game has begun! I’m gonna end the speculation right now… it’s an all women’s PPV, it’s gonna drop October, and all proceeds go towards the Susan G Komen breast cancer awareness thing. SAVE THE T!TT!£$!!!

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RAW 1313! On this day in 2012 RAW celebrated it’s 1000th episode. Everybody celebrated. Except me. “I wasn’t f**k!n there!!!!” (Arnold Schwarzenegger, End Of Days)

GRANT BODY-P!

But this time…I was THERE! Well… in my house watching the clip on YouTube that is… and I just had to see this announcement… let’s take a moment to marvel at Mickie James like – GOD DAYUUUUM!!!

Also every muthaf***a is present (apart from Brock Lesnar of course… and The Undertaker – who let’s face it… he could be 80 years old, we beg him for him to retire so he doesn’t end up like Sting, but when he appears we MARK THE F**K OUT!)

“Women, step forward… the men that stand behind you, I want you to know how much they REALLY support you…”

Yep – they REALLY support them alright! Especially from behind!

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Even Vincent Kennedy is there yo! You know this is big! This is straight CHING-CHING! in his pocket!

Great work cameraman! Checking out JoJo’s backside! THAT IS A BACKSIDE! So don’t tell me about Bayley or Alexa Blitch or any of them!!! (Apart from Naomi obviously – OHHHHHHH!)

Triple says it’s a joy watching them… he had to watch his words here… he said ‘some of us with a tear in our eye…’ he really means with his D HARD PEOPLE!

GRANT BODY-P!

Look at Vincent Kennedy’s face while Stephanie is talking! I’m sorry I can’t help but laugh here!

women-raw-wwe-evolution

50 WOMEN! THEN, NOW & FOREVER!!! YES! Looks like Trish, Lita, Victoria, Gail Kim (Hopefully) Layla (Pretty please??!!) AJ Lee (Hey you never know!) will have to draw back out their wrestling boots! You think Jacqueline, Ivory & Alundra Blayze have still got one match left in them too?

Sucks if you’re injured or pregnant now right?

GRANT BODY-P!

If you STILL feel the need to complain on the internet after this – YOU ARE THE PROBLEM – STEP THE F**K OFF – I’LL SLAP YOU LIKE BATMAN DID TO ROBIN – I’LL PUNCH YOU THROUGH SCHOOLBUSES & PIZZA SHOP WINDOWS! WITH YOUR NO PU$$Y ROMAN REIGNS OBSESSED FAT @$$!

The PPV is called EVOLUTION though! Surely I cannot be alone when I instantly thought of this…

…and then I then I thought of this…

It makes me wanna do a women’s wrestling tribute video! That’s my word! Hmmm….

Everybody’s happy about the new women’s PPV! Apart from one person – Baron Corbin…who is still hot at Finn Balor, so what does he do? Move his belongings to some stupid place and tells Balor he gotta face Drew Wackintyre, like Balor is supposed to be scared… I’m not scared of Wackintrye! So what says Balor?!

All is well between Sasha & Bayley again!!! Isn’t that wonderful?! Sorry fans, your obsession with stars ‘turning heel’ could not over come the love these women get from the kids!!!! Y’all want everyone to turn heel! What sort of stupidness is that?

Is that all the ‘sellotape’ they could provide for Kevin Owens after Braun Strowman chokeslammed his blodclart off the cage through the table? That muthaf***a should have ‘sellotape’ all over his body!

A wha de rarse? They sent Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! To Braun to help him find inner peace? Ok RAW you’re falling off the rails now… but it is a segment with Braun… it’s bound to be funny!

I think Braun has the idea of inner peace! Close your eyes, breathe in breathe out, and say.. GET. THESE. HANDS…!!!

Braun is like the new ‘Austin’ isn’t he? By that I mean you know it’s coming when somebody about to get buss arse and when it happens it is magic everytime!

I know Mickie James hasn’t dressed up like a sexy power ranger only to lose to Natalya??

Haha Alexa Blitch tried to TEEF and she got met with a mean discus clothesline from Natalya! Gwarn girl!

Nattie gets back in the ring only to get kick down by Mickie – BLAOW! 1, 2 and…3! NICE!

What is this? Authors of Pain and Titus Worldwide – CHATTING? Remember back in the days when Eric Bischoff used to say ‘you got 3 MINUTES’ to get out of my ring? but 3 seconds later you BUSS ARSE by Rosey & Jamal? Aaaah… good times…

Good to see Titus though whoop @$$ in his Gareth Southgate waistcoat though! And his tie not out-of-place!

Seth Rollins Vs Dolph Ziggler to clash again at the Summerslam joint! But they had an ironman match though! It can’t be a normal match after that surely? (Caling for ladders!)

Elias says his album is gonna change my life forever… sorry Elias – that already happened in 1997 (Wu-Tang Forever) and again in 2000 (Supreme Clientele)!

Who the hell is O.A.R.??? Have I gotta google these fools?

Oh my god the album really exists! You can get it on iTunes & Spotify! The question remains – will it sell more than John Cena’s album???

Wait a minute – TEEEEEEEEF! Hold on! Braun & Kevin Owens to clash at Summerslams! But here’s the twist – the Money In the Bank briefcase is on the line! OH NO! Stephanie gave Owens the match, he was gonna hug her then realised who she was! You think that would have stopped me???

GRANT BODY-P!

Samantha Simon & Karen Lundy? I must be watching WWF Livewire! Let me take a good look at these women… they may have potential…

Oh dear their bright hair didn’t help them… is it me or are we just waiting for either Sasha or Bayley to put their head through a car window?

Now I heard about this before I hit play on YouTube… I knew there was a catch with this whole women’s ppv thing… it was a negotiation! ‘Give the fans what they want… under one condition – I want Roman Reigns to go to Summerslam!!!’

LET THE COMPLAINING ON THE INTERNET BEGIN!

But WAIT! I gotta big up my co-host Shadfather on the JAMMS Podcast… he predicted it exactly how it’s going down – YES Double R is going to Summerslam… but Bobby Lashley already has a case! Therefore… this will end up being a Triple Threat situation!

In closing, after Stephanie’s announcement, there was almost no point watching RAW! Don’t get me wrong – it was good, but in a week from now everything will be forgotten about outside of Stephanie and the women’s PPV…

 

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Monday Night Raw #1312, July 16, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Why are we surprised?

HH N

This is what I support! A company which seemingly gets away with stereotypical values, claims to be all patriotic and all that… we have to remember something wrestling fans, Vincent Kennedy and Donald Trump are BREDRIN!

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kolinda-1531718898

Poor Mbappe! He’s like – ‘lawwwwwd – this woman is gonna rape me! Hey I’m flattered but – you got a daughter??? Actually never mind – I’ve seen what happens on pornhub!!!’

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RAW 1312! OK WWE stop f**k!n about! It’s all about SUMMERSLAM!!!

Remember now – this YouTube sh!t is not in order… I don’t watch live anymore…

Braun Strowman actually has regret! he regrets not congratulating Kevin Owens on his win at the Extreme Rules joint! That was the closest those wrestling muthaf***az will get to ‘wanting the attitude era back!’

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I’m not even gonna click the link on Mojo Rawley Vs Tyler Breeze…NEXT!

Bobby Roode Vs Dolph Ziggler – this isn’t for the intercontinental title is it?

Holy smokes! Mike Cole thought it was over, Corey Graves thought it was over and so did the coach, even I thought it was over! Ziggler hit the Zig Zag, Roode looked f**ked! 1, 2 and….Roode got the shoulder up!

Ziggler got him eventually though… no Drew Wackintyre around either…

How can Roode ‘think he’s god’ when he loses every week?

WHAT? Is that Alicia Fox I see on the telly? Holy crap on a cracker – IT IS!

Considering Sasha & Bayley are not friends again, Sasha ain’t letting Dana or Alicia beat Bayley up!

Shall I click on The B-Team Vs The Ascension? Decisions, Decisions!!! It’s three minutes long… there has bound to be some storyline here…

F**k it  – I don’t like the B Team, but you guys do so… let’s go in!

The Revival still looking on!!!! It’s time for WWE stop f**k!n about because Dash & Dawson – these guys are talented as f**k…

If Wyatt & Matt Hardy want to delete these fools… they should do it RIGHT… Stop this in-ring action crap and take it to ULTIMATE DELETION! Stop saying DELETE if you’re not gonna do it right guys!

Titus Worldwide Vs The Authors of Pain again??? Nah I’m not clicking this link. sorry guys!

But I will click on Sarah Logan Vs Ember Moon though…

Dayuuuuuuuuum Ember Moon’s attire though!!! Look at those TICK THIGHS! Her Wrestling panties struggling to cover her butt cheeks! Me & Ember Moon can be on some midnight marauders!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Words from the wise – NEVER defeat Ember Moon by underhanded tactics! Did you see the look on Ember’s face? Or more importantly – her contacts? I’m telling you now – if this was attitude era…Sarah Logan and Liv Morgan would have suffered a blood bath by now!

Debra bloodbath

Screenshot_2018-07-17 (2) Twitter

How about…ah….NAH??!!!!

Oh no! Elias drops new album July 23? Now I know NOT to go out and buy that sh!t!

You think it’s gonna be a 7-track affair produced by Kanye West????

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a second – Sasha loves Bayley???? YES! Now Sasha… get in Bayley’s tongue! LET’S GO!

(what was that about Sasha/Bayley turning heel? Once again wrestling fans are the experts!)

Let’s talk about these triple threat matches? It looks like to me, the winner of both matches face each other next week, then the winner of that faces Brock Lesnar right?

Dayuuuum Finn Balor is straight beating down Double R with the steel chair! This will make the haters happy surely!

Holy smokes! Balor was dropping straight knees to Wackintyre, then sees Double R coming, moves out the way – Reigns with a spear to Wackintyre – BLAOW!!! No way can Wackintyre recover now surely?

After Claymores and Coup De Grace… it was Double R’s Violent Spear that got him the victory…. yo that was crazy!

In the other match, Lashley is straight killing Elias & Rollins with his power moves!

Now Elias & Rollins find themselves combining their force to take out Lashley, but only one can advance!

That has to be my favourite move of Rollins – the Superplex into the Falcon arrow – was that in last year’s game? I don’t recall!

Rollins burns it down and hits the curb stomp to Elias – BLAOW! Here’s the cover! 1, 2 and…Lashley stops that sh!t!

Lashley goes to charge at Rollins, finds the ringpost instead, Seth rolls him up! 1, 2 and…nope!!! Seth kicks him down, sets him up, Elias intervenes, only to be met with Lashley’s spear – BLAOW! We got Reigns Vs Lashley II next week! That’s how it’s going!

Holy smokes – Mickie James!!!! She got pum-pum shorts on! Nah that woman needs a good f**k! Her man ain’t doin’ it right!

GRANT BODY-P!

Since when did Ronda Rousey become a one woman Shield? She’s coming down the stairs! Alexa gonna get f**ked up!

Rousey’s head top is braided! You know what that means!!! Alexa nuh read the news!

Here we go! Mickie & Alexa running for the hills!

Mickie nearly had her arm broken! LAWWWWWWWD!

Rousey is like – I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

She took out three officials plus Mickie and Alexa! SHE WANTS TO KILL!

Kurt put an extra week on Ronda’s suspension! Baron Corbin gonna snitch to Stephanie! But he can’t find his phone! Has he tried the lobby? Somebody call his phone – that usually works!

Kurt got his phone!!! It might be a good idea to break that muthaf***a Kurt!

Oh no! Ronda MUST conform! That’s if she wants the Women’s championship at Summerslams!!! Ronda it’s only one week!!! Hold it down girl! Alexa doesn’t like that sh!t! Well tough t1tt!£$!

Now I’m guessing that this was the first segment, but I’m gonna talk about it last if you don’t mind!

I don’t know why wrestling fans be getting all hot and bothered about Brock not showing up and sh1t, I didn’t know you muthaf***az actually cared about the Universal Championship!

Kurt was gonna strip Brock of the title!

WHOAWHOAWHOAWHAOAHOWHAOAHWOWHOAWHAO!!!!!!! PAUL HEYMAN YOU ARE A FUNNY MUTHAF***A!

What Brock Lesnar wants to do, is represent the WWE Universe, by challenging for the UFC Heavyweight Title WITH the WWE Universal Championship around his waist! I can ride to that but he gotta show up and defend more! He’s not afraid of the likes of Elias, Seth Rollins, Drew Wackintyre surely? This is a man (or beast) who has been at war with The Undertaker…. he can’t be sweating whoever is back there? Even Braun Strowman! Braun looks up to the Undertaker for Pete’s sake!

Don’t you love when Heyman feels threatened, he always says this – ‘I’m just an advocate’!!

It’s soon time for me to start putting together the SmackTalkCentre Summerslam gathering promo video…..but before that… let’s throw up a pic of that Croatian president… she would GET IT STILL!

Croatian President

GRANT BODY-P!

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Monday Night Raw #1308, June 18, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

DAYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!

Nikki Bella victoria secret

Nikki, you make me wish you were on the rebound!!!! I can’t be a husband, I can give you babies, they would be smart & beautiful! Good thing they won’t turn out ugly like Dolph Ziggler!

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I can see you idiots like – ‘American Bad Ass’ confirmed! YOU FOOL!

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RAW 1308! BOOKER-T IS MY NEW HERO!

Remember – I’m going by what YouTube tells me… so let’s get into it!

All Brock has to do is show up… the moment he does…. BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!! But Brock ain’t afraid of anybody… is he???

Kevin Owens wants to offer congratulations! He has no choice – he can’t manage Braun! Not many can!

“At WrestleMania, when you needed a tag partner, you had to go in the crowd, and pick a 10-year-old kid…” Er Kevin… that was the point! Braun was saying he didn’t need anybody! And that’s the truth!

What is Kevin Owens up to??!!! I cannot figure it out right now!

Looks like Kevin sealed the deal! he doesn’t wanna get brukk up anymore! You think this will save him?

Strowman was gonna drop Owens with that powerslam! But Owens get life!!!

Has Jinder Mahal.. JINDER MAHAL!! Found tranquility? Inner Peace? Seems so… he defeated Chad Gable (poor soul) and felt enlightenment!

Has the B-Team become woken?? Nice touch by Bo Dallas pretending to be Wyatt… GEDDIT?

Wow! You mean Elias is actually gonna sing a full song without getting interrupted?

Dayuuum nuff WWE Superstars got that sellotape on em right? Sheeeeeeeeet WTF they be doin? Cesaro set the trend and everybody follow fashion!

Oh dear… Sasha & Bayley have started their sh!t again… these two just need some good ol’ scissor action! Either that or the tongue!

GRANT BODY-P!

Double R could have waited until Kurt Angle addressed the Brock Lesnar situation! But wait! He’s not a good guy or a bad guy is he? He does what he wants when he wants! Sounds like somebody else we all love and adore! But that’s none of my business…

Uh-oh! Bobby Lashley is chiming in! Now this is good!!! Peeople do wanna see Lashley and Brock clash! My thing is… Braun has the briefcase… so it’s like… that black champion dream could be derailed…

So this is how it’s going! Kurt is gonna announce a multi person match for Extreme Rules… winner fights Brock at the Summerslams… as much as I want it to be Lashley… Braun has the briefcase… now – I’m all for Braun being champion… but I’d rather him cash it on anyone BUT Lashley you feel me?

Now, by doing the knowledge, those multi people could be Elias, Seth Rollins and Finn Balor… Finn NEVER lost the title. Elias just sung a song about Brock… and Seth… well I’ll get to him later!

Meanwhile The Revival are about to get dissed again as they go up against Bobby Lashley and Double R! This is not right WWE!!! The Revival is a wicked team! Why You Do This?

Check it – Lashley hit the Revival with a spear – BLAOW! That’s Double R’s super move! Well true say Lashley did it from marnin though…

Now remember why I said Seth Rollins gonna be in that match? Here’s why – he just lost his intercontinental title to a pink leggings wearing Dolph Ziggler! He can invoke his rematch clause all he wants – Drew Wackintyre will be there as well…

So essentially, Baron Corbin is the new ‘Corporate Kane’…. by that I mean – he now wrestles in his shirt and trousers! And he won as well against Finn Balor! HOLY SMOKES!

So we come to the real issue at hand… Alexa Blitch… look at her talking down to Ronda Rousey! Y’all wonder why I can’t stand Alexa! Said it before I’ll say it again – I’d get my sister to f**k her up!

This is the Ronda Rousey I like! That chick who gets bex! She just gone GHETTO GYAL on Alexa! And she attacked Kurrrrrrrrrrrrrt! OH MY GOD NOT KUUUUUUUUUUUUUURT!!

Ronda Rousey – powerbombed Alexa Blitch through the table – BLAOW!!!

Oh dear, Kurt just suspended Ronda! But in 30 days… Alexa goose COOK!!! I think we are seeing the Summerslam storyline! Ronda has gone to hone her skills! My dream came true once already when Naomi whupped Alexa’s @$$… but this time Ronda can do it! KILL THE B!TCH!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1310, July 2, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

LIFE IS GOOD!

Germany are out of the World Cup because they are b!tches, the Wimbledon start and the women are running around the court with their little tennis skirts on showing their little panties…and my mixtape has dropped!

Sun is shining, women are looking sexy, and we still have internerds complaining about wrestling!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1310! Let me get my coffee y’all, or should I get my Rockstar Energy Drink????

The first thing me hear is that Dolph Ziggler and Seth Rollins have an Iron Man match (30 minute) at the Extreme Rules joint… I hear some of you talking about ‘1 hour iron man match…’ but weren’t you the same muthaf***az who complain about the PPVs being too long? To I say this to you internerds…

SEAN PRICE - STFU

Wait a minute – Shayna Blayzer – what is she doing on RAW backstage??? Ooooooh the Summerslam storyline is prepped folks!!!!!

This whole thing with The Shield (Minus Ambrose) and Ziggler & Wackintyre makes me more and more convinced that Bobby Lashley is the one who is going to Summerslam to fight Lesnar (don’t let the dirt sheets and that stupid WrestleTalk show fool you) The whole ‘Lesnar derailing plans bullsh!t is ALL STORYLINE.’ It’s the Summerslam Storyline! I’m not buying any of that sh!t!

Oh no not Dr Shelby???? Ok this sh1t worked for Danny Bryan & Kane but how the rarse is this gonna work?

Why are Wyatt & Hardy allowing this foolishness to continue with The B Team? I have said for weeks now – SEND FOR THE ULTIMATE DELETION! Until that time I will speak NO MORE about this!

It hurts my brain to see such a talented brother in Apollo Crews, doing what he does in the ring, knowing full well that either he or Titus will eat the pin from the Authors of Pain… no shame in losing to them but it’s like yo… these guys should be serious contenders and sh!t!

“Suck up your PRIDE, give me respect and apologise…”

Really Baron Corbin? You gonna use the word PRIDE to a guy who’s T-shirt makes a positive impact and support to the LGBT community???

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a minute I don’t understand this – if The Revival beat Roman Reigns & Bobby Lashley last week, why are they still tryna beat down Reigns during his match with Rollins Vs Wackintyre and Ziggler?

(Oh I forgot… I’m catching up on YouTube and they don’t put sh!t in order!)

See right here with the combined force of Revival, Wackintyre & Ziggler – could summon the return of Dean Ambrose… hmmm… am I on to something here???

Meanwhile at this anger management sh1t… this to me is just a way to delay creative’s decision on who turns evil out of Bayley & Sasha – I dun told you jabronies neither have turned heel – it’s just a Bayley Vs Sasha situation… THAT’S IT! You know like it was for Brock Vs Undertaker back in 2015?

You know what – I don’t think Dr Shelby can handle these two, word up! He managed to get a ‘goat looking guy’ and a ‘monster who sets things on fire’ to hug but these two women gonna make him wear straight jacket by next week surely!

I got nothing much to say about Ember Moon Vs Liv Morgan apart from two things – 1 – Liv Morgan sold that Total Eclipse move like a BOSS and 2 – God DAYUUUUUUM Ember you fine! In fact f**k that – where’s that Alex Scott chick?

SPORT-PREVIEW-alex-scott

IDGAF – This woman is EVERY FOOTBALL FAN’S DREAM if you don’t fancy this woman – I’m telling you now – you sir are GAY!

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m a firm believer in one on one but this Mojo Rawley is a reptile – the whole of No Way Jose’s crew should rush this muthaf***a and beat out his blodclaaat!

Oh no! Extreme Rules match between Nia Jax and Alexa Blitch! Alexa’s pretty face is gonna get ruined….!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! KILL HER! KILL THE B!TCH! Ronda Rousey gonna be ringside too? TAKE MY MONEY!

See Bobby Lashley claims Roman Reigns would not be THE GUY if Lashley was here during the 10 years, well THE GRANT SAYS – neither would you Lashley… you know why? Lets be real – BECAUSE YOU’RE BLACK!!!! Vincent Kennedy might as well be that dude in that ‘I’m not racist’ video!

Oh dear! Double R is not being professional! Lashley’s intentions are good but Double R is having none of it! Remember boys and girls, he’s not a good guy or a bad guy is he?

..and because of Roman’s ignorance, he would rather get buss arse by The Revival than tag in Bobby Lashley… WOW!

You know I gotta save the best for last right? Braun Strowman Vs Kevin Owens… I’m guessing Kevin must have taken the train or something to get to work because he got no car now!

Kevin Owens car

Hang on – Kevin is running away? But his shirt says FIGHT ANYONE!!! Er….

Kevin is hiding in the toilet? Why would he do that? Is that his way of saying ‘he’s sh1ttin himself?’

OH NO! Braun disguised his voice and Kevin Owens got ketch! Now Braun is taping up the toilet! This is shades of Austin and Goldust surely?

Kevin Owens is like ‘ NO PLEASE!!!! ‘ I’m deddin already!!!

I guess Braun is gonna show mercy! Kevin doesn’t deserve this!

“You still in there Kevin???”

That has to be the lyric of the night! Don’t you get the joke? He locked Kevin in there all that time! Kevin can’t move!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

BRAUN TOOK A RUN UP! AND CHARGED HIMSELF INTO THE PORTABLE TOILET OFF THE STAGE!!! KEVIN IS PROBABLY DEAD BY NOW!!!!

I’M DUN!!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!!!

ROFL

THERE’S PEOPLE IN THERE!!! THERE’S PEOPLE IN THERE!!!!!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1309, June 25, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Last week I found out that The Infamous Informer weekly blog is 4th in the top UK wrestling blogs according to feedspot.com… for that I wanna take this time to thank everyone who has supported me over the last seven years with this wrestling sh!t… I have cussed your favourite wrestler, written about sexual fantasies over your favourite female wrestler (apart from Paige and Alexa) and you continued to f**k with me. I SALUTE YOU. Maybe you sympathise with me when I cuss certain internerds!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1309! There are three wrestling bloggers better than me… I am gunning for that ‘#1 spot like Ludacris!!!!

So here I am, 5:53am, I couldn’t sleep, the hot weather got the best of me. Half an hour prior to that, I woke up, Naomi was not appearing in my dreams, so I thought, I might as well wake up, scroll my Facebook news feed (as you do) grab a coffee, and see what happened in the World Wrestling Federation.

Clearly this was not the first segment, but this is the first clip YouTube is showing me. Call the Ambulance to pick up Rich & Rex Gibson to pick up the people… put their bodies on the stretcher carry their @$$ out!

Realistically I think Titus and Apollo Crews CAN test the Authors of Pain… but storyline dictates they will only get killed!

Notice the Authors of Pain find themselves back om TV now that SAnitY find themselves on Smackdown…

I find it hard to worship somebody who is so ‘badmind’, and has no manners..so with that said – F**K ALEXA BL!TCH!

GRANT BODY-P!

But I will give credit where credit is due – she countered the fans saying ‘WHAT?’! Very good! Personally, I like the WHAT? chant… but yes it does get annoying. They tried that only ONCE with The Undertaker – didn’t turn out too well…

Shout out to Jamie Lannister….

GRANT BODY-P!

Natalya comes out here on some ‘Time is a precious commodity’ sh!t… remember that storyline when Eric Bischoff had 30 days to turn RAW around? It’s like that with Alexa because in 23 days … Ronda comes back.. and when she does… THAT’S IT!

In the meantime, Alexa Vs Natalya, with Mickie in Alexa’s corner, and Nia Jax in Natalya’s corner… gotta say – Natalya is looking FYYYNE AS A MUTHAF***A!

Hold up!!!! Natalya just made Alexa tap out!!! WHOA! NEW #1 Contender surely! Nia don’t you see what is happening here?

Mojo Rawley thinks he’s the big he-man picking on Todd the Cheeseburger right? Just like that – Todd is over with the crowd… I’m sitting here waiting for the inevitable memes of him being more over than Roman Reigns… GET A LIFE INTERNERDS!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

As soon as Mojo turned his back, if I was Todd The Cheeseburger, I would have kicked him in his d!ck!

Shout out to STC’s Nicola Hardwick…

The B-team want to continue this charade! I’m calling for a FINAL DELETION word up! Stop this foolishness RIGH… wait there… Extreme Rules…. HMMM!!!

Hold on!!! Bray & Matt give B-Team ratings!!! Y’all know they are plotting the Final deletion!

Ok let’s get serious for a minute! Did Roman Reigns just come with a KILLER LYRIC THERE?

“10 years ago, you wanted to be a big MMA Star, and how did that work out huh? You made a REAL BIG ‘IMPACT’…” You think John Cena ghostwritten that lyric for Double R???

GRANT BODY-P!

Er what? Roman Reigns wants to main event WrestleMania 5 times in a row???? Oooh the internerds are not gonna like that!!!!

SWITCH! Kurt Angle said there will NOT be a multi-man match at Extreme Rules!!! Uh-Oh – you think creative changed up sh!t?

“Brock Lesnar doesn’t care about….blah blah blah… in fact, Brock does not give a sh-” ROMAN REIGNS YOUR LANGUAGE!!!

“(Brock’s) tired of seeing your face, just like all these people are…” – GUNSHOT! I think the women would disagree but that’s another story! Bobby Lashley got lyrics too!

DOLPH ZIGGLER VS SETH ROLLINS! THIS IS THE REMATCH! WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!

Once again a great back and forth contest! Is that Drew Wackintyre I see about to f**k this up?

That he has… muthaf***a!!! One day somebody gonna come kick his @$$!

YES! That person might just be Roman Reigns!!!! KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!

Spear to Ziggler – BLAOW! Ziggler sold that like a boss!

Man Double R is getting all the TV time isn’t he! I’m guessing this is to make up for the minimal TV time he had last week or the week before! He & Lashley fight The Revival again…I think the Revival should change their name – to The Dead & Buried!

YES I USED THE B-WORD!

HOLD UP!!! The Revival just took advantage of the 1upsman ship of Lashley & Reigns – used a distraction roll up and Reigns got pinned!!! The internerds are gonna celebrate like England buss up Panama 6-1!!!!

WHOA!!!! Bayley has gone OFF on Sasha! Holy smokes! Crowd chanting for Bayley crazy! PIC_0041Guys – I’m not taking it as a heel vs face thing here – that’s out the window – the only way for sure is their promos. If either Bayley or Sasha cusses the crowd… THEN YOU KNOW.

Honestly god everything Strowman does – it’s like the Terminator – every time you see him or T-1000 on-screen it’s like the music follows them… his music should be playing EVERY TIME he’s on-screen!

Wait a second – Braun & Kevin Owens are on the same team? Balor & Corbin on the same team? What is this bizarro land?

Kevin Owens tried the Braun technique of running around the ring – he knocked over Balor but was not so lucky against Corbin!

That was an out-of-order tag by Corbin wasn’t it? He clapped Balor in his head!

OH NO! Balor kicked down Corbin! I should bloody think so!

Hahahahah! The official is counting the guys out and Kevin Owens is counting along with him! That’s cool!

Oh dear I think Kevin Owens did something wrong! He tek foot and run garne!!! Does he realise Braun can run as well?

Kevin is tryna get the f**k outta there!!!

OH NO! Braun has Kevin’s car keys!!! This is bad! Look at Braun’s face!

“Here’s your keys! I hope you got insurance, because there’s you car!” What a nice man Braun is! He gave Kevin his keys!

OH NO! THE CAR MASH UP!!!! SEE THIS IS THE PART WHERE KEVIN OWENS IS THAT DUDE ON FINAL FIGHT AND SAYS ‘OH MY CAR’!!!!

OH MY CAR

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Voted in the top four wrestling blogs.

Monday Night Raw #1306, June 4, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

DAYUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM!!!

Sasha lb wear

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW SASHA???!!! GUUUUUUURRRRRRLLLLLL!!!! Sometimes… you have to use your cousin’s words against you…

On the Eastside, that’s the crew I choose
Nothing I do is new to you
I smack up the world if they rude to you
‘Cause baby girl, you’re so beautiful…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1306! I’m not tryna be on the YouTube tip… I got big things poppin, little things stopping. And unfortunately wrestling fans… I class this as little things… more like your… (CENSORED!!!)

I think it’s safe to say that I can never watch RAW or Smackdown live because my streams no longer work good, and more often than not I’m yawning through the sh!t. With that said, me garne ah mi bed. YouTube highlights from now on…

You would think that by now Elias would learn not to perform in front of the WWE Universe every week… he always gets interrupted!

It’s like a Mexican stand-off! Only that Elias has his guitar, and Seth Rollins has his steel chair! Rollins just whacked the guitar out of Elias hands! Elias is looking like – heeeeeeeee!!!! All scared and sh!t!

Oh no Jinder Mahal TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!! Putting beats on Rollins! SEND FOR THE SHIELD! GET DOWN THE STAIRS ROMAN!

Either WWE edited out the boos or we must be in one of those ‘non pro wrestling’ cities because Double R is getting cheered as he comes to the aid of Rollins!

Dayuuuuum 199 losses??? Do you think Curt Hawkins is out to beat the Barry Horowitz Losing streak record?

Ok just found out RAW was in Houston Texas…. Come on James Harden! Make it 200!!!

Hold up – Baron Corbin? What is the meaning of this?

Baron Corbin hit the End of Days! The official is calling for the bell! OH SNAP!!! James Harden just WON BY DISQUALIFICATION! WHICH MEANS Curt Hawkins LOST AGAIN! It’s in the record books!

Turns out that Baron Corbin is now the ‘Constable’ of Monday Night Raw? Ah wha de rarse?

Hold up – Bobby Lashley – where is your fashion sense? You’re wearing a tight up jacket with a muscle t-shirt, jeans and cap? THAT DOESN’T MATCH!

Sami Zayn is calling Bobby Lashley a liar! That his inspirational quotes on instagram don’t mean sh!t! He apparently has a fan club which you pay $19.99 to subscribe! Not even my good friend pictured below does that for that much! And she’s a model! Mother of 5 children, ladies and gentlemen I give you – HauteMamaOf5!

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CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE

Just for the record, I haven’t subscribed… because if my lady found out, I would be sleeping on the couch!

GRANT BODY-P!

But Sami says Bobby was never in the army!!! He can’t do that??!!!! I see Bobby getting bex now…

Dayuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum look at Renee Young! She’s talking to Woken Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt of all people dressed like THAT? I’m sorry if that was me I would have to say something… fix my trousers like The Rock or something!

You see? Matt Hardy has the idea!!! Look at him biting his teeth! Renee looks uncomfortable! Renee says she’s woken but I’m high-powered – I’d f**k her back to sleep…

GRANT BODY-P!

Times like this I wished The Rock himself was on WWE doing these interviews with the likes of Renee, Charly Caruso etc… he’d tell em straight!

Oh dear… Natalya f**ked up her knee while fighting Nia Jax… you can see how this storyline is shaping up can’t you!

Nia Jax looks concerned actually… because Nia didn’t ‘injure’ the leg… Rousey is like – yo stay out of this!

What was that you fans were saying about Nia ‘turning heel’ in your memes? Shows you know a lot don’t you?

Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL!!! HE SPEAKS THE TRUTH! He says Double R thinks there is a conspiracy against him when in actual fact he had the most opportunities! THAT IS TRUE! Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL!

Guys – how can you NOT like Jinder Mahal??? This dude is funny!!!

“How dare you disparage my name!” He he hee hahahahaha JINDER STOP IT!

WOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIII!!!! And the fight is on!!!! JINDER MAHAL! ROMAN REIGNS! This is what I’m talking about!

Oh no! Alexa Bliss hurt her leg too! Come on Ronda get out here and see to your friend!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a second! Alexa is leaving the building! Alexa is playing games!!! I never trusted that beeeeaatttch!

COME IN BAYLEY! She just helped the team win! Good on Bayley! Hahaha Corey Graves is bex! Gotta love it!

ARRRRRGHH TEEEEEF! Because Bayley wasn’t officially in the match, The Riott squad win! Baron Corbin exercising his authority! TEEEEEEEEEF!!!

This is what happens when you think you are god! You have to deal with the monster among men Braun Strowman! Bobby Roode gonna GET THESE HANDS!

I don’t think I’ve seen Strowman do that suplex before!

Er… Bobby… I don’t think ladders are allowed in this contest!

Ah I see! Bobby tricked Braun into doing that ‘running round the ring’ sh!t! He rolled under the ladder and now he’s laughing at Strowman! I don’t think that is too smart!

WHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAH!!!!! I’M DUN!!!!! THAT’S THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!

BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! HE BROKE THE LADDER WITH HIS BARE HANDS! BOBBY ROODE WAS LIKE – LAWWWWWWD JESUS!

(At this point this week’s blog has come to an abrupt end. The Infamous Informer was in so much hysterics that he cannot continue this blog! What Braun Strowman did was absolute GOLD. To find out more of what happened on RAW this week, hit up YouTube and find out!)

ROFL

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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