Tag Archives: WWE

Monday Night Raw #1271, October 9, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Now I could start this sh!t off by saying Columbus Day this, Columbus Day that  but F**K ALL THAT – I enjoyed the Hell In A Cell… best matches since… Brock Vs Undertaker two years ago? Nah Nah – Dean Ambrose Vs Seth Rollins was the one right there!

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RAW 1271! To normal jabronies, its Columbus Day. To us WWE fans, it’s EDDIE GUERRERO DAY! SALUTE THIS MAN!

Steph Raw

WE ARE IN INDIANAPOLIS! Where it all started for The Shield, where it all ended for The Shield, and could it start all over again?

Why is the Miz doing this Mizzie sh!t again? I think I want the Shield to come down the stairs now!

Oh snap – Bo Dallas got buss arse so much he’s sitting at home like a beeatch!

Just think – Cesaro and Sheamus were at each other’s throats, one year later they are winning awards and sh!t! I’d give them an award for their entrance alone!

AAAAAAAAH SHEEEEEEEEEET!!!! The Shield are BACK!!! Minus the swat gear but that’s ok! THE SAGA CONTINUES! They have formed like Voltron! WROOOOOOOOOOY! The Miz! The Bar! the Shield! It’s all ruckus now! BUMBACLAAAAAAAAT!!!! Look at the Miz’s face! He’s like – A WHA DE RARSE! THE CROWD ARE GOING NUTS!!!

HERE WE GO! OOOOOOOWWWWAAAAA! TRIPLE POWERBOMB TO THE MIZ – BLAOW!!!

JUST LIKE THAT! THE MIZ IS THE B!TCH OF THE WEEK!

OFFICIAL! The Miz & The Bar Vs The Shield! TLC MATCH! AAAAAH SHEEEEEET! I couldn’t give a f**k about Elias and walking with that muthaf***a – he ain’t Hip Hop!

GRANT BODY-P!

YES! Titus f**ked up Elias rhythm! I wanna walk with Titus Worldwide! Apollo best beat this muthaf***a this time!

F**K! Apollo lose again… damn Apollo – did you p!$$ McMahon off? I knew he should never have come to RAW…

Sugar Ray Amore??? But him nah defend him title yet????

The heartbreaking thing about Enzo is – he makes all these Hip Hop references in his promos… so me personally – I cannot hate him like you lot!

You gotta be kidding me! Enzo is in the main event of RAW! 3 weeks running! Enzo Vs Kalisto – lumberjack match for the Cruiserweight title!! Come on son – Enzo has made this sh!t mad compelling!

I know these Hardy Boyz are fearless but Matt Hardy – TURN BACK!!! You don’t want none of BRAAAAUUUUUUUUN!

I think Braun is merely playing with Matt here! he’s gonna be BROKEN for sure after this! Did Matt p!$$ off Vince as well?

A LIE! Matt Hardy hit the Twist Of Fate to Strowman! Dude kicked out at 1! Matt  just get yourself disqualified and….oh too late – Strowman hit the running powerslam – BLAOW!!

HOLY SMOKES! THE SHIELD HAVE RUSHED STROWMAN! THEY MIGHT HAVE A FIGHTING CHANCE THIS TIME!

DOUBLE R HIT THE SPEAR – BLAOW!

OH MY DAYS! THEY SET UP THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!

OOOOOOOOOOOWWWAAAAAHHHHH!!!

TRIPLE POWERBOMB TO STROWMAN THROUGH THE TABLE – BLAOW!!!

ROMAN REIGNS FEEL GOOD NOW – HE’S GETTING CHEERED!

GRANT BODY-P!

…and now we got Mickie James! And I am so glad she ain’t skipping to the ring anymore – I hated that sh!t!

“I have more energy in my body than you have hair extensions and pink hair dye!” YES! Mickie James speaks the truth! Mickie needs to bring that energy over here!

GRANT BODY-P!GRANT WWDJC2

I’m all about the older women!!! It’s been my track record since I was 21!

Oh sh!t – Mickie got the crowd chanting ‘biscuit butt’ to Alexa! I take it that means she has NO SHAPE!

SERIOUSLY?? Bayley, Sasha and Alicia want to go agains… wait a second – Dana & Emma want in!

Fatal 5 way match for the opportunity to face Asuka at the TLC joint! But the question remains – where Nia Jax at? Er… she DID FOLLOW our own Shadfather on the twitter… The Grant says – Shad knows all the answers Sway!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO! Apparently Dean Ambrose’s mouth got The Shield in certain trouble! Apparently The Shield can take on the world, and for a second I did wonder – where does Braun Strowman fit on the TLC card! Now he joins The Miz & the Bar in the TLC match too?! Strowman counts as an extra 3 people!

Now this Sister Abigail situation! The Balor Club is not afraid of Sister Abigail! I know as hell I’m not!

HOLY SMOKES – A WHA DAT?!!! I take that back – Sister Abigail looks ugly as f**k! It exists within Bray!

Not even Undertaker & Kane have forced Bray to send for Abigail!

Big up to the Perfect Plex Talk Radio – they are straight taking the p!$$! Calling Bray Wyatt – a tranny and sh!t!

Now – does the winner of this match REALLY WIN? I mean, they fight Asuka… With this in mind – I’m backing Dana or Emma, because it started with them in NXT!

WHOA! Ok hold up – Dana and Bayley eliminated! Emma is still in this thing! COME ON EMMA!

YES!!!! EMMA IS THROUGH!!! It is only right!!!!

Big up to Kalisto! He’s dedicating this match to Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio! COME ON KALISTO!

Eddie ISP

Picture courtesy of Iron Skull Productions

There is no way Enzo can win surely? Big Cass ain’t gonna come and save him is he???

Wait a second the heel cruiserweights putting the boots on Kalisto – isn’t the idea to brukk up Enzo’s blodclart? Enzo may have a fighting chance here!

Oh no! the lumberjacks are causing ruckus outside! What happened to unity and all that? Kalisto just hit a superplex to Enzo to the outside landing on everybody! WHOA!

At least Mustafa Ali had the idea and kept the objective at hand – prevent Enzo from walking out of Indianapolis with the title!

YES! The Kalisto Del Sol! Kalisto – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION!

RAW WAS OFF THE HOOK! WWE DID EDDIE PROUD STAR! YEAH MAN!

Smackdown.. I’m gonna pray for ya!

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Monday Night Raw #1270 , October 2, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I was watching Sky Sports News earlier, I am pleased to say that the dastardly Triple TEEF was sitting well away from my Natalie Sawyer… maybe he knew better because she is temptation incarnate with those…..BRRRRRREASSSSSTSSSS!!!!

However he did say that Ronda Rousey would like the opportunity and he would ‘give it to her’… SURE YOU WOULD TRIPLE!

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RAW 1270! WHEN DID ROMAN REIGNS PASS THE HATE BATON TO ENZO AMORE? Was it that time he kicked him off the bus?

Steph Raw

Hold up – before we talk about this wrestling sh!t – apparently movie star Bradley Cooper is looking to star in a biopic playing as Vincent Kennedy!!! I hope they don’t run the scene where he met Linda and on the first date he had a realllllly good time…. in the back seat of the 1969 Cherviolet Impala!

GRANT BODY-P!

Holy snap! No Michael Cole? Maybe RAW will be great this week!

I completely forgot about all this sh!t – Seth Rollins Vs BRAUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!! he might be the Kingslayer buy can he slay the monster among men?

Braun is that over with the crowd that even with a fan favourite in Seth Rollins the crowd want Braun to f**k him up! Not only did he f**k up Seth, he got Deano too with the running powerslam – BLAOW!!!

Bad enough The Shield are f**ked up… but The Bar act like they cashed in their Money In The Bank contract for the tag team championships!

So this is how they gonna run it – take the p!$$ out of Mickie James age? You know she’s only what – she’s my age actually! Me and Mickie would have attended the same school – maybe even the same class! But I said it last week and I will say it now – Garth Brooks & Wu-Tang don’t mix!

GRANT BODY-P!

I know Nia is the sexiest muthaf***a on RAW but we gotta give it up to Mickie James this week…

Mickie james

Look at Alexa Blitch rubbing it in as Mickie is getting buss arse by Nia…. man I would love to get one of my sisters to f**k Alexa up!

HOLY SMOKES – Mr Motormouth now has nothing to say! NO BARS! I said it to you before Enzo – Take your WWE cruiserweight wages and remove the Wu-Tang tattoo off your arm. You are not worthy of it and The Saga Continues without you. (see what I did there?)

Just to be clear – I don’t hate you Enzo – in fact far from it… but you have to pay penalties yo…

Mickie James gets title shot against Alexa Bliss at the TLC joint! YES! Gonna be interesting either way – with Asuka’s debut at the PPV!

While Jason Jordan & Matt Hardy are fighting The Balding Club, I just wanna give a shout out to @majorpaiger1 on twitter – SoulNSports first lady…. like dayuum girl you are cute! If I was 10 years younger….

Conversely – Shout out to STC and fellow JAMMS co host – Joanne Chapman… If this was about 8 years ago – girl – I would be ALL OVER YOU!

GRANT BODY-P!

Just letting you know – The Infamous Informer is a faithful man… I love my real life first lady. Not talking about Naomi now – My true first lady. Temptation is everywhere… but the north got everything under control!

Er wait – The Balding Club WON?!!!! WHOA!!! I wasn’t paying attention! there I was chatting away about beautiful women and the everyday battle to fight off infidelity!

NO!!!! The Miztourage are doing The Shield’s entrance! They are coming down the stairs! they can’t do that!!!! TEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!

They lucky Dean and Seth are too brukk up to do anything!

Double R is straight up f**k!n up the MizTourage! They won’t be coming down the stairs again!

There is no way The Miz can win! Even if he takes the belt and tries to run – Double R gonna catch him!

It’s gonna take like 5 Skull Crushing Finale’s to put away Double R! You saw what happened at No Mercy! Cena dropped 4 FUs – one of them being the super FU off the top ropes!

Wait a minute – The Bar assaulting Double R for no reason! This has to trigger The Shield now surely!

The Miz and The Bar did the ultimate supermove – hit the triple powerbomb on Roman Reigns – BLAOW!

Calling it now – The Bar/Miz Vs The Shield in a TLC Match – that’s the main event right there!

“Abigail is alive, and she is dying to meet you”… and you can hear her laughing and sh!t….

Er… UH-OH! Bray Wyatt has finally given me something to look forward to!

I think Enzo Amore has found his voice again… and for the second week running, he’s the last segment…

WHOA! He just told the Cruiserweight division to go to hell!GRANT WWDJC2

WHOA! If any cruiserweight touches Enzo – this time they get FIRED????

Looks like Neville wants to be fired!!! In fact 205 Live could end right here!

Oh snap he took a shot at Corey Greaves! Oh man – I’m waiting for BRAUUUUUUUUUN! to come out!

Maybe not – Kurt might just reverse the decision! HERE WE GO!

Er – Kalisto got the shot!!! The clause doesn’t apply to him! Now all eyes on Kalisto! He got the entire cruiserweight division on his shoulders!

Aaaaah sheeeeeeeet! Double R says nothing, Deano says nothing, Rollins says nothing… it might be that time to suit up gents!

 

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1268 , September 18, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Aah man, how do I say goodbye…

We lost another wrestling legend y’all… Bobby The Brain Heenan has returned to the essence and reunited with his broadcast partner – Gorilla Monsoon. Now the HWF (Heaven Wrestling Federation) roster is finally complete. They have their champions, (Warrior, Savage, Eddie) Their mid-carders (Perfect, Rick Rude, Owen Hart) Their women’s division (Chyna, Elizabeth) Their monster heels (Umaga, Viscera) Their babyface (Dusty) their top heel (Piper) Even their jobbers (Test, Crash Holly, Junkyard Dog) and everyone in between (Bulldog, Boss Man) And GOD himself is the general manager/commissioner – he’s signing these stars!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1268! Shout out to Natalie Sawyer… damn that girl is so fine! If I had my hands on her – I’d show NO MERCY on her p-(FLATLINE!!!!)

Steph Raw

I got NO refreshments… oh lawwwwwd… this is bad news! How am I gonna make it through the show?

Yo this week’s WWF wrestling better be as hot as the feud between Grace & Sienna on Hollyoaks!

GRANT BODY-P!

Ok I missed the first few minutes so I don’t know if there was a 10 Bell salute… what I do know… is that The Miz suddenly thinks he’s father of the year just because he breed up Maryse… and tries to talk down at Kurt Angle… you think Jason Jordan can defeat the Miz for the intercontinental championship at the No Mercy joint? F**k all that – Alexa Blitch is on against all curves and no brakes – a woman Redman would be proud of in Nia Jax… with that said… I had to throw some chips on… a brotha hungry!

..and just like that… I’m already fed up – the streams are f**k!n up, reminding me not to be a cheap arse and watch Raw properly on Sky Sports… well THE GRANT SAYS – I’m gonna eat my chips… and when I’m dun, me garne ah mi bed! I know it’s the go home show leading to the PPV… but my patience worn thin. This would not happen if it was Smackdown let me tell ya!

TUESDAY MORNING

Yes jabronies I am blessed to see another day, now I’m on catch up mode with this wrestling sh!t… and what do I see? Alexa Bl!tch running away from Nia Jax… that’s your World Wrestling Federation Women’s champion, your sweetheart… f**kouttahere! No I didn’t roll out the wrong side of the bed… this is Grant every day! Who you know like Grant????

Sasha comes out to tell Alexa – get your B!TCH @$$ back in the ring! Nia Jax claps down Alexa from the other side – BLAOW!

Shout out to the Soul n Sports massive & crew – before Raw I agreed that it is now Nia’s time to become the champion… but after watching her dominant performance… er… knowing WWE’s logic… er… oh dear…

Er… BAYLEY???? She looks bex for once!!!! She actually looks like she wants to f**k Nia up! WHOA!

Well obviously it would take the combined might of Alexa, Sasha & Bayley to mash her up when all they did was shoulder block Nia into the canvas…

Where does Alexa think she’s going trying to fren up – fren up Bayley & Sasha? They gave her the Ol Dirty Bastard look – GETTOUTTAHERE!!!

ODB GETTOUTTAHERE

“Nostalgia will fade just like these WHAT chants…” Sorry Cesaro the What chant will live forever… it cannot be stopped! It will only get stronger!

I gotta agree with Ambrose – Ii wouldn’t let my brothers dressed like battyman wannabe T-800s!

GRANT BODY-P!

I like The Shield’s formation suicide dives! That’s cool!!!! The Bar or The Club was not ready for that sh!t!

The Club lose again… oh god damnit this is the match we should have at No Mercy… what the blodclaaat! The Club should have won that sh!t to make things interesting… but nooooooo….

114 match losing streak??? If Apollo Crews loses to Curt Hawkins… then I will review my Raw card… but that sexy @$$ Asuka is coming though… she might be the saving grace…

Spinning spin out powerbomb – BLAOW! Now Hawkins is 0-115!

Wait a second – did Double R cuss bad words?!!!! How can you fools not like this guy? Oh yeah I forgot – you are all BUZZARDS with iPhoneXs lighting that sh!t up when a blubbering idiot walks to the ring with his flashlight!

GRANT BODY-P!

Double R bring up old sh!t about Cena running down The Rock… Aaah good times hahaa!

no_mercy_rendered-5805b3c8abc10195cce3ec0ebfb18b02

See that’s the only time Double R can get one up on Cena – when Cena is not here… five years later Cena is doing the same sh!t The Rock is doing… y’all know me – I’m Team Bring It all day… but Double R said something that made me think – maybe he shot himself in the foot – Cena believed he would beat The Rock at WrestleMania 28 – that went wrong… Double R cuts a similar promo like Cena did 5 five years ago – I have a feeling Cena gonna beat Double R and that’s gonna bring doubt and bad vibes in Double R’s Psyche… YES – that’s how it’s going – Cena wins… it eats away at Double R and consumes him until they have their rematch! That’s my prediction right there!

Massive big ups to Bobby The Brain Heenan. I will keep it 100 like I always do – Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler will always be my favourite commentary team of all time… but Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan were the original commentary team, not just that – you look at all the sketches they did back in the day – you don’t get that sh!t now word up. You won’t hear me say ‘he’s the greatest that ever did it’ unless I am a true fan – Ok I put it to you… in all the times you have read my blogs or listened to my podcasts on BDSIR Network – when have you heard me hold Heenan in high regard? Outside of the Royal Rumble 92 special show me and Shad did? Just keeping it 100…

Dustin Rhodes? So he’s now the artist formerly known as Goldust again? Oh no that became a horror story last time that happened!

Don’t worry I get it – it’s playing off the storyline Wyatt got with Finn Balor – I already did the knowledge!

Yo Rhodes is going IN on Wyatt! ‘Next Undertaker my dutty foot!’

…then he went in – right into a Sister Abigail – BLAOW! Er.. oh dear…

Finn Balor now on that cryptic sh!t! Oh Bray, you wonder why I refuse to light up my phone when you come out to the ring…

GRANT BODY-P!

So this six-pack challenge thing – Elias Vs Double J vs Hardy Boyz Vs Miztourage  winner fights the Miz at No Mercy? YAWN…. NEXT!!!

The Miz is so TEEEEEF! He doesn’t want Jeff Hardy or Jason Jordan to win! They need to kick him down and get him out of the equation!

OHHHH The Miz has done it now! He just called Jason Jordan a ‘Jon Snow’! he can’t do that! Oh boy – backing Double J all the way here… but that Miz is SO TEEF!!! Calling it now – Double J wins by disqualification, Jason Jordan gets bex, the Miztourage beats on him… then finally Kurt comes out, and hits the olympic slam on the Miz… either that or tries to break the ankle…

WHAAAAAAHAHAHA!!!! “I will feel great after I beat Neville at No Mercy how you doin?”
Did you see Enzo’s face when he heard – BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Braun just boxed him down one time – BLAOW!!!GRANT WU TANG FOREVER

Braun picked up Enzo one hand – CHOKESLAAAAAAM! BLAOW! I don’t think Enzo gonna make it to No Mercy now! Neville must be deddin!

The running powerslam!!! BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Holy smokes! Enzo is probably dead by now!

There was NO NEED for that Red Arrow super move Neville!!! Oh my days that was funny!

Let’s keep on this Braun sh!t! He says he’s gonna take Suplex City and stomp it to the ground! Better listen to him Heyman… or ELSE!

Oh man – if I was the referee – I would let Brock & Braun go at it – a simple wrestling match just won’t do boys and girls!

Paul Heyman is straight exposing Mike Cole as the wack journalist that he is! Mike Cole you wack homes!

Brock is thanking Braun for coming at him like this! Remember boys and girls – don’t complain on the internet!

 

 

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Monday Night Raw #1266, September 4, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Beyoncé Knowles-Carter – GOD DAYUUUUUUUM! Sometimes she switches the sex appeal on, sometimes it tunn off… but in this video… Just like how people think she is in the illuminati like her husband, THE GRANT SAYS this is how Jiggaman blasted his super sperm in his wife… THERE IS NO CONCRETE EVIDENCE PEOPLE! YOU WASN’T THERE!!! My first lady actually thinks he didn’t get in Beyoncé’s temple at all and it was a test tube job! Haha I love my woman… but her hatred for the 4:44 man is too much! Not even I hated Triple H on that level back in 1999-2005!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1266! Can’t we just do a whole blog about Beyonce’s fine @$$ instead?

Steph Raw

SOURCE: WWE on YouTube (I fell crazy ill so I missed it live… god damn viral infection is a muthaf***a!)

One thing I can say about Enzo Amore is while he ain’t the realest guy in the room, he’s more real than that Lonzo Ball I can tell you that!

I smell a slow heel turn from Enzo, because this dude is acting like he is badder than all the other dudes on the 205 joint… and I believe they are acting on the real life situation which happened a while back when Double R kicked him off the bus. You can see the clues in the 6-man tag match – tagging in when he feels like it to get all the glory, and using shady underhanded tactics!

I love the dude Finn Balor but I think he shouldn’t come out dropping promos just wearing his jacket and his brief?!!! that doesn’t look too right!

Bray wants to face the ‘normal’ Finn Balor! Well THE GRANT SAYS – Bray can’t manage the ‘demon’! Hahaha -pu$$y!

GRANT BODY-P!

Big ups to Booker-T  sounds like his family in Houston Texas are ok coming off the hurricane that passed. I do have concern for STC’s own Anthony Cardenas, who hasn’t been heard from since that time.

Gotta give it up to the crowd  I saw a sign saying ‘Flair always kicks out’! LOVE IT!

Hey TEEF – Sheamus & Cesaro tried to bait it up for The Shield and it went wrong! Distraction roll up against the balding club for the win!

WROOOOOY! Balding Club clash with Sheamus & Cesaro! They didn’t last very long though… yo Vincent Kennedy – what did these guys do to p!$$ you off? What did they doooooooo?!!!!

Was you jabronies gonna start your noise when John Cena defeated Jason Jordan in a great wrestling contest???? I bet you was! #FOOL

Oh snap! Double R puts John Cena on blast! It took Cena 20 minutes to defeat Jason Jordan! Watch this – they will have Jason Jordan fight Double R next week!

WHOA! John Cena doesn’t respect Double R! But but but…. he defeated the Undertaker! At big big WrestleMania!!!!

Look at Cena – getting on the fans side!!! This could be Cena’s one chance to be cheered 100%!

Double R doesn’t respect Cena because he believes he’s talk and no action! But Cena been action  for about 15 years!!!!

I think Nia Jax genuinely listens to our own Shadfather! I’ve noticed her wrestling attire has become a bit more see through!grant-body-p

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Now THAT give me joke! Alexa Bliss tryna slap up Nia Jax but to no effect! Nia just looks pon her and screams, then Alexa screams in horror as well and tried to run gone! FANTASTIC!

Holy smokes! Now Emma and Nia are in the championship match at the No Mercy joint! YES! They failed to tell me that in these highlights! Backing Nia ALL THE WAY!

Nia just reminding Emma what time it is – Yes we won the tag match, but come No Mercy it’s every gyal for herself – Samoan drop to Emma – BLAOW!

As usual – the Miztourage tried to teef in the match between The Miz & Jeff Hardy for the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship, the ref ketch them and ejected them out the building! But in the interest of fairness, Matt Hardy had to go as well!

But Jeff misses the Swanton Bomb, Miz responds with a Skull Crushing Finale – BLAOW! DAMNIT!

The Big Show! 7’2, was 500lbs of steaming monkey crap! vs BRAUUUUUUN!!! So here’s me waiting for the steel cage to brukk up!

Back in the day! Big Show’s super move was an elbow drop off the top ropes! THAT IS TRUE! No way… is he… NO….HE GOT HIM! BLAOW!!!!!

Wait a minute – not again! Braun setting up Big Show for a superplex off the top ropes!!! You know what happened last time!!!!

This time they reinforced the ring!!!! The match continues!

Braun hits the powerslam!!! 1, 2 and 3!!!! Surely Braun cannot be finished with him!

I KNEW IT! Braun picks up Big Show, and powerslams him through the cage!!! BRAUUUUUUUUUN!!! He should have said – I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

I think this is how I’m gonna watch RAW in future, apart from Nia, Braun, Balor and Double R, all my favourite wrestlers are on Smackdown… maybe my illness did me a favor…

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1265, August 28, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

50 men have come, and 50 men have fallen. Officially – NO ONE can beat him! Love him or hate him – he had your attention and that’s real. RESPECT HIS GANGSTA!

Actually I wanna address the haters real quick… still in denial? Talking about ‘it took 10 rounds to take a non-boxer out’ – it will take me 10 seconds for me to tell you – SHUT THE F**K UP! Go and lose 10lbs, invest in that tenner in your pocket instead of ordering pizza for your racist fat @$$!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1265! We getting money YEP! Hall Of Famer YEP! He deserves it YEP!

Steph Raw

NO RAW beginning? We just gonna start with The Miz with his annoying self!

We got Jerry Lawler on commentary! You think he’s gonna be dutty towards Alexa Blitch?

Just as The Miz was gonna chat sh!t, Kurt Angle interrupts the proceedings!

Kurt Angle has no respect??? I’d rather Kurt have no respect than The Miz having no manners!

Looks like there is gonna be in a battle royal! Winner faces The Miz at the No Mercy joint! Oh wait – I got it wrong – it’s running NEXT WEEK on RAW – Intercontinental title defense!

Remind me in the morning I must start watching the Mae Young Classic jump off… the #1 reason I put back on my WWE Network – me want to see the gyal dem fight!

The Miz seems to be enjoying what he’s seeing from this Battle Royal! Everyone dashing each other out the ring and falling on their side!

Oh so that’s why… he got his cronies up in the match too! But what if Bo Dallas or Curtis Axel win? (hypothetically…)

Bray Wyatt TEEEF! He wasn’t in the match! Appeared out of nowhere doing his children of the corn sh!t and dashed Finn Balor out! CALLING STIPULATION FOR NO MERCY!

Just when you thought Jason Jordan was the favourite to win… Jeff Hardy emerges victorious! Oh wow! I like this!!!! The Miz doesn’t like it I can tell you that!

Now that Enzo fights on 205 Live, the question remains – is he still gonna mix it up with the regular roster?

Big Cass is out the game for a good number of months! Dayuuuum… that’s his push on hold before it even began!

At least we can keep it moving because quite frankly, that storyline was wack homes!

Neville doesn’t seem to be impressed with Enzo’s fighting style! He thinks he’s gonna be champion for ever! For ever ever? FOR EVER EVER!!!!!

WHOA! Brock Lesnar twice in two weeks!!! Good lord! Not even Undertaker got this treatment with Brock’s appearance dates!

GRANT BODY-P!

Don’t get it twisted – I’m not that dude who complains about Brock’s status and how he defends his Universal Championship, actually I’m that dude who doesn’t give a f**k – I got nothing to lose – Brock can do what the f**k he wants!

Not just that… Brock spoke as well! Man this is serious! Snatched the mic from Heyman like “What he’s saying is – Suplex City B!tch!”

Hold up – Seth Rollins just teefed a move from Apollo Crews! He can’t do that! Standing reverse moonsault while opponent was on the canvas!

Uh oh! I like this! If Emma defeats Mickie James, it’s hashtag city! However, if Mickie wins, Emma can’t say she started this women’s revolution sh!t!grant-body-p

What the rarse? They changed Emma’s music! Er… I don’t get it! 2K games – don’t worry about that!

OH SNAP! Emma defeats Mickie James! Maybe the music change was worth it! Emma started the women’s revolution! I know! We learn something new every day! Poor Mickie, maybe she needs to find a new love interest or something…  back in the day she wanted to get her scissors on with Trish… god dayuuuum!

I am quite shocked that they are running John Cena Vs Roman Reigns at the No Mercy joint… I mean, it has big BIG WrestleMania written all over it… even Mike Cole said so!

John Cena just says he has no Fs to give! Well nor do I Cena! Join the club!

Er… Double R.. rubbing it in about retiring the Undertaker! I respect it but don’t do that!

Cena just called Reigns a ‘Corporate created John Cena bootleg!’ Yo keep me outta this!

Cena is killing Reigns on how to cut a promo! Reigns is now going for low blow techniques on the mic! Reigns is recovering though!!! I think they have thrown the script away here!

“I’m still here because you can’t do your job!” Damn Reigns!!! HOLY SMOKES! I feel bad for you… I really do! The likes of CM P**k and The Rock have struggled against Cena’s lyrical sword!

Trust me – the IWC are gonna be partying hard with those memes this week!

Elias Samson is the ‘Elvis’ of the WWE? So does that mean he’s gonna dead on the toilet?

GRANT BODY-P!

You done it now Elias –  you provoked Jerry Lawler! I hope Lawler doesn’t send for his singlet…you know what happened last time!

What is this nonsense? Pelvis Wesley? Southpaw Regional Wrestling? GETTHEF**KOUTTAHERE! Put on Alexa and Sasha sexy @$$! Oh lawwwd…

Let me get my mint & chocolate chip ice cream y’all – I wanna see Sasha brukk up Alexa blodclart all over again!

You see – Alexa & Sasha don’t like each other in real life – they should apply this in the storylines! Look how successful the feud between Edge & Matt Hardy was, or HBK Vs Bret Hart! That added intensity! Right now I’m not feeling that with Alexa & Sasha…

OH SNAP! Alexa Bliss – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION WOMEN’S CHAMPION! Nia Jax congratulates her – OH SNAP! Nia just put her down on some Batista sh!t – BLAOW! YES!!! I smell Triple Threat… she took out Sasha as well!

BRAVO RAW! I made it through the three hours! I yawned here and there but yes! Y’all came through! Double R & Cena though… good lord! That’s what we like – throw away the robotics – keep it 100 on the mic!

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1264, August 21, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

 

HOLY SMOKES!!! I have watched Brock Lesnar since he broke in 2002… I have never, EVER seen him get f**ked up like that, not even from (in my mind) his most fierce rival – the don of dons – The Undertaker! This, plus Kevin Owens killer line “Where were you? YOU FALL OFF BUILDINGS!” 5 title changes (unlucky Naomi, no shame in losing to Natalya – she is apart of one of the greatest wrestling families ever) Summerslam was wild yo!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1264! ALEXA BLISS LOST HER TITLE! To quote that Simpsons kid – Ha-haaa!

Steph Raw

I’m not sure if I have the energy to get through the three hours… but Kurt says he has a big announcement… superstar shake up maybe as many of you dirt sheet readers keep bangin on about?

Brock kicks off the show! He will be pacing up and down while Paul be like ‘I told you so!’

The crowd be chanting SUPLEX CITY while you muthaf***az on the internet are complaining about Brock’s scheduled dates! WHO IS THE PROBLEM?

Certainly not this guy – BRAUUUUUUUUUUUN!!! This guy, THIS GUY!!! He just f**ked up Brock AGAIN!!! HOLY SMOKES! 2 thunderous powerslams!!! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!

Enzo Amore Vs Big Cass in a Brooklyn Street Fight? Where Ol’ Dirty at?

AH LIE! Big Cass injured??!!!!! Nah gotta be a work surely? Let me see the replay! Holy smokes!!! Maybe he did mash-up his leg!

Er.. how did Emma change the women’s revolution? What did she doooooooo? Oh yeah – teefing out of walmart! Oh yeah that really changed the game!

GRANT BODY-P!

Nia Jax is gonna killllllll Emma! She says #GiveEmmaCPR? Well THE GRANT SAYS #GiveEmmaSomeC-

OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Yes Elias – Brooklyn is a Hip Hop borough – no one wants to hear your country music garbage!

Oh snap! While Elias sason & R-Truth was fighting…

 1h1 hour ago

“like the Terminator, I’ll be back”   Asuka suffers collarbone injury at NXT TakeOver  

THE GRANT SAYS: Sounds like someone needs a massage on her collarbone… I’LL HELP…

GRANT BODY-P!

Here we go! John Cena is the surprise! Remember he is a free agent! He can go on any show! Sorry guys – you don’t get Bobby Roode just yet you fools!

UH-OH!!!! DOUBLE R! You don’t suppose they are gonna start this rivalry now?????

I don’t know what the crowd are chanting right now!

Oh I know now – they chanting UN-DER-TAY-KER!

Oh snap – Double R & John Cena were gonna come to blows and then that idiot Miz just had to ruin the runnings!

What the rarse does Bo Dallas have on???? You ain’t a pimp muthaf***a!

So let me get this right so I can understand this – Booing Cena & Reigns affects The Miz? I dunno – he sounds like a b!tch if you ask me!

Samoa Joe has come to join the party! UH-OH! JOE! JOE! JOE! JOE!

Crowd chanting YOU BOTH SUCK! Directed at Cena & Reigns! Oh dear! What did these guys doooooooo?!!!!!

I just remembered to follow that Kayla Braxton chick on the twitter – God dayuuuuuum – I saw her on Summerslams… Vincent Kennedy knows where all the kriss gyal are at!

Kayla Braxtons

DAYYUUUUUM KAYLA!!! You’re making me HIGGHHHHHHH!!! Baby baby baby – BABY!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Jason Jordan wants to test Finn Balor??? This kid is ambitious isn’t he?

I saw some stupidness on WWE’s YouTube earlier, talking about – what name should Rollins & Ambrose call themselves? THEY ARE THE SHIELD YOU DUMMY!

The Shield Vs  The Hardy Boyz? YES PLEASE!

A great contest between the two teams with the new tag champs victorious! The Hardys continue to lose… how long before they finally become ‘broken’?

OFFICIAL – BROCK LESNAR Vs BRAUN STROWMAN – WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION TITLE AT NO MERCY! Grant & Leva

I am so glad Sasha girl is the champion… one guy in the STC pointed out that Alexa Bliss got thighs… ok she got it going on but I don’t think she can hold a candle to the likes of Becky Lynch, Charlotte and especially not Nia Jax when it comes to thighs!

Mike Cole says Finn Balor was the only dude to stand up to Bray Wyatt’s deranged fighting style – er – hello??? Undertaker???? WrestleMania 31?????

Great effort by a guy I am proud to call ‘Double J’! Never that other idiot who owns the Global Farce Wrestling!

Now that Double R & Cena have mastered the art of not giving a f**k of how the crowd feels, they defeated the annoying Miz and the powerful Samoa Joe. Let the complaining on the internet begin I guess!

 

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1263, August 14, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Ric Flair women 2

I’m gonna keep it 100 with you. This man NEEDS TO PULL THROUGH. When we lost Dusty and Piper, yes they hurt massively, but they never really hurt me much. But this guy? He was my Grandma’s favourite wrestler. Now he’s in hospital and the way I got it figured, if they send Becky Lynch in there to give him the kiss of life – I’m telling you now – he would make a dramatic recovery quicker than John Cena’s return at Royal Rumble 2008.

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1263! SUMMER IS HERE! COME ON RIC – THINK OF THE WOMEN!!!

Steph Raw

Sipping on Rockstar Energy Drink – proud sponsors of Wild1 Radio with an ice cream for later (Sasha vs Nia Jax) LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

I can’t lie, I hated Seth Rollins music… I thought it was generic, but WWE has a habit of making these themes grow on you! Especially with that extra added – BURN IT DOWN!

Maybe it took Sheamus & Cesaro to further convince Deano and Rollins they must combine their force once more. With this knowledge… I CANNOT see Roman Reigns winning the title at this time… because he’s the final component…the question remains – will they come down the stairs at Summerslams?

Nia Jax vs Sasha now? But my ice cream isn’t ready!!! NOOOOOO!!!!

Oh look here now, Miss Ugly Bliss wants to take a closer look… now before you throw stones after me, Do I think Alexa is good-looking? YES. But her personality is ugly as f**k – and Corey Graves – I hear you mention my girl Cersei! Yo Cersei – I heard you like to f**k brothers – why don’t you take on a REAL BROTHA??!!! You think Cersei plays this on her iPhone while sitting on the iron throne?

GRANT BODY-P!

Stupid streams – now I don’t know who is facing Alexa Blitch… but if Wyatt & Finn Balor are fighting later – what does this mean for Summerslam? They gonna put a stipulation sauce on it?

I wasn’t gonna speak on this Enzo/Cass/Big Show angle but damn the Boston crowd do not like Big Cass much do they? They won’t let him speak! Could have been worse – you didn’t retire the Undertaker at WrestleMania!

Er – I don’t get it – why are Anderson & Gallows are beating on the Big Show? did i miss something?

Big Cass is trying to destroy Big Show’s skill? Break his hands so come Summerslam he can’t use the chokeslam or the Sean Price punch?

Tozawa fighting Neville for the World Wrestling Federation Cruiserweight Title? Hmmm! Did they realise there were too many matches set up for Summerslams or is there more to the story?

HOLY SMOKES! Tozawa – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!! Neville has gotta be bex surely! He’s gonna invoke his rematch clause watch this!

Aaah – Sasha advances then… no surprise there! Oh well Nia, you have a hot date with Shadfather! SUMMER IS HERE!!!

Summerslams

I hope this match ends in some sort of way that forces the Demon King out for the Summerslams!

That’s it? Bray Wyatt hits the Sister Abigail on Balor and wins? It can’t end just like that??? Come on – you’re BRAY WYATT!

OH SNAP! Wyatt just threw a bucket full of ‘blood’ on Balor! Was it pig’s blood? Buzzard blood? Abigail’s blood?! That does it now! Wyatt just went ‘the Brood’ on Balor!

Yay Mickie James & Emma are fighting! If Emma loses again… then I really have to question creative like – what did Emma do to p!$$ Vince off? Oh I get it – she didn’t wanna do the Emmalina sh!t? She didn’t wanna take it out and start?grant-body-p

GRANT BODY-P!

“Emma reminds me of a young Booker-T…” Er what the blodclart you ah chat bout bwoy? Mi nah understand that foolishness! Emma lose again! Oh man! It’s gotta be the Emmalina sh!t! THE GRANT SAYS Emma reminds me of a young Hunter Hearst Helmsley – she’s at the bottom of the barrel – anyone would think she did the curtain call!

GRANT BODY-P!

Finn Balor bex! He just said Wyatt will find out that Balor got his demons too! Oh sh!t! Corey Graves is slippin today! “Does that mean what I think that means?” Of course you know muthaf***a!

Wait a second – Revival out with injuries again? They only came back the other day! dem nah ready for the main roster! Send their blodclart back to NXT – bring up the Authors Of Pain! Them mans look MILITANT!

Security surrounding the ring – you think Kurt has hired enough? If we have learned anything in WWE, there is NEVER ENOUGH security!

Bwoy Paul Heyman can chat eeeh? I really cannot call this match. I would like to think that Double R won’t be winning because of the reformation of The Shield, but in a way that doesn’t even come into true effect til around Survivor Series time!

Roman Reigns moves in silence – Spear to Samoa Joe – BLAOW! Strowman & Lesnar ketch – up! Security can’t hold them, WWE superstars can’t hold them, too bad Lesnar didn’t say to Strowman – I’M GONNA KILL YOU! with Strowman replying  YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO!

Sorry for sounding biased but the Lesnar Vs Undertaker feud of 2015 is still the brawl to beat when it comes to sh!t like that!

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1258, July 3 , 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

So the Slammiversary popped off! and NEW! Unified TNA Champion (or whatever it’s called) ALBERTO EL PATRON! There he is running down the WWE in the middle of the ring… after all they did for you Bertie, if it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t be f**k!n Paige. Ungrateful sh!t!

GRANT BODY-P!

Unlucky Cody Rhodes, you didn’t quite make history by holding both the ROH & IWGP titles… Good thing you didn’t, because my fellow JAMMS host and STC member Aydenn Wardle would have lost his sh!t and would have blew his load faster than Chicago bussin into Iesha in Poetic Justice.

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RAW 1258! We don’t sing Great Balls Of Fire over here?!!!! We sing FYYYREEE!! from Busta Rhymes!!!

Steph Raw

Right – I got half a pack of lockets, a hot drink of lemon and honey, plus a pack of jaffa cakes. Yes your Infamous Informer is not very well, and he doesn’t have Penny to sing him soft kitty… however this is Monday Night Raw, we ain’t tryna sleep!

Oh dear, my stream is f**k!n up! Maybe I’m not supposed to watch the World Wrestling Federation Live! I juts missed 15 minutes of this sh!t…

By the sounds of it, I missed Enzo talk sh!t in the ring for that long, and then ambush Big Cass from behind. Ah well!!! Onto Sasha sexy @$$ and Bayley potato @$$!

I know you’re the boss lady, but even you cannot contend with Alexa Blitch and the Bottom and the Breasts Nia Jax!

“This is MY division Sasha!” OH HELL NO! I changed my mind – Sasha – BEAT THAT B!TCH @$$! YES! A BANK STATEMENT! ALEXA BLITCH TAPPING OUT! BEEEEAAAATCH!!!!!

An exclusive interview with Brock and Joe? On the go home show before the PPV? You cannot be serious right now! THAT AIN’T HAPPENING!

Is this thing with Naom Dar/Cedric Alexander/Alicia Fox sh!t still going on??? I only expect this from Hollyoaks! Oh yeah – it’s a ‘male soap opera isn’t it??? Aww shucks…

Sheeeeeeet! Heath Slater been in the WWE game for 8 years! And he never won a title? Last time I check – he won the tag titles with Rhyno! Oh he means a singles title…

Miz says there will be no title matches… YES! KURK ANGLE will have something to say about that!

SERIOUSLY! Miz talking to Kurt Angle like that? This dude got no manners!!!! Heath Slater can fight Miz for the title NOW! If Miz holds down the title (which I think he will because he’s a b!tch hiding behind Curtis Axel & Bo Dallas) then he got Dean Ambrose to deal with at the Great Balls Of Fire joint!

The question remains – who thought up that PPV Title and who got that sh!t approved? Was it one of Vincent Kennedy’s favourite tunes of all time? If that was the case I wanna have my own wrestling promotion! I would call my PPVs ‘Da Mystery Of Chessboxing’… ‘House Of Flying Daggers’, ‘Assassination Day’, ‘Winter Warz’, ‘Bring The Pain’, ‘Brooklyn Zoo’, ‘4th Chamber’… should I go on????

GRANT BODY-P!

Come on Slater!!! WHUPP HIS @$$!!! THINK OF THE KIDS!!!! THE KIDDDDDSSSSS!!! YOU GOTTA PAY THAT CHILD SUPPORT MUTHAF***A!

Damnit! His blodclart Miztourage! Miz has always been a b!tch!

Did you hear that? John Cena advertising Tapout Body Sprays? Talking about feeding trolls and stopping internet warriors?? Here’s looking at you retarded 434 fools!

OH Sh!t – Titus may have a slogan for Apollo Crews – Crews Can’t Loose! But we talking BRAUN here! And Apollo just had a daughter! Apollo must protect her from monsters! They are everywhere! And above all else – keep her OFF THE POLE!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Great Balls Of fire

A 30- minute iron man tag team match between Sheamus/Cesaro & the Hardy Boyz at the Great Balls of Fire joint? WHOA! Sounds like WWE have been watching the Slammiversary and That G1 thing lately and got their study on!

Don’t you think that’s f**ked up people? Big Big Great Balls of Fire joint about to pop off and Finn Balor is not even fixed up in a match? But Raw made sure wrestling purists got their jerk on as he battles Cesaro here!

Wait a second, maybe he IS in a match at the PPV! I forgot about this Elias Samson dude… is that a bad thing?!

YES Wrestling fools don’t have a heart attack – Brock Lesnar IS SPEAKING TO SAMOA JOE! He is the best of the best of the best! You think Paul Heyman gonna say something stupid?

Hey Brock is laughing at this whole thing! He hasn’t gotta look for Joe! Joe gotta look for him!

Joe is on some – LET’S GO CHAMP! I like this! Considering it’s the go home show!

Joe is bex!!! Brock isn’t! You would think it’s the other way around! This is great!

Just when I thought Braun was getting better competition in Apollo Crews! For a minute Crews was killing Strowman! But Strowman hit the running powerslam, 1, 2 and – WAIT! He picked Crews head up! UH-OH!!!! DOUBLE R GET DOWN HERE FAST! THIS IS INJUSTICE!grant-body-p

He just dropped a second running powerslam! took his head off the canvas before the 3 and licked his forehead! OH MY GOD That’s some Wyatt sh!t right there!

After 3 Running Powerslams, it’s over… hey Crews… it could have been worse you feel me?

He just dashed Crews in the ambulance and told the driver to get going! But the driver nah move!

It’s DOUBLE R!!!! DUNA! DUNA! DUNA! DUNN-DUNN! How can you guys NOT LIKE this dude? YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!

UUUUUUOOOOOOOOAHHHHH! Spear Strowman off the stage into tables – BLAOW!!!!! But how is he gonna drag that carcass into the ambulance? That’s what I wanna know!

Strowman still on his feet! BLODCLART!

Yo, I watched Wonder Woman recently. That Gal Gadot though! OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Some lucky muthaf****a married her quicktime! She is FLIRT ON SIGHT I’m telling you! Watch STC’s Edd Mulhall… he’s on the case… he knows where all the naked pics is at! Personally, I don’t think Gal Gadot got any naked pics… I think Edd uses photoshop and is very efficient at it!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wonder Woman

 

JAMMS

Monday Night Raw #1251, May 15, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Indy killer

So there is some sort of indie Vs mainstream wrestling war which rooted between Rip Rogers & Randy Orton… in the middle of it, Will Ospreay, Bubba Ray Dudley and god knows who else. I don’t know about you guys, but I spent the whole weekend playing Street Fighter V for free…

GRANT BODY-P!

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GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1251! IT’S NOT A RUMOUR! Fix Strowman’s elbow… OR ELSE!!!!

Looks like Double R really won this war right? You fans lose again!

Already I’m yawning…. BAD SIGN!

It’s KURRRRRRRRRT!!!! I must ask Jerry Lawler about calling that Armageddon Hell In a Cell….

Kurt – you might as well drop the cell on them because it’s an Extreme Rules Fatal 5 Way match! Winner fights Brock Lesnar! Seth Rollins, Samoa Joe, Bray Wyatt, Finn Balor, and Double R!

Wait – does Double R like that sh!t? Or is it the fans who doesn’t like that sh!t?

Double R believes there should not be a #1 contender! He speaks the truth! He retired The Undertaker! He took Strowman out the game! I wouldn’t argue that but Finn Balor never lost that title! How can you argue that! He beat Double R on his first night! That is true! How can you argue Samoa Joe? Took out Seth Rollins on his first day! Samoa destroys people!

You can argue Bray Wyatt though… he ain’t no face of fear – he loses almost every feud!

As for Seth Rollins – he ‘slayed’ the evil Triple Teef! You can make a case for all 5 – er I mean 4 men!

That is one thing I am so looking forward to when WWE 2K18 drop – Sheamus & Cesaro entrance! Gotta be in my Top 5 entrances right now!

It amuses me that Alicia Fox and Noam Dar appealed against the decision by the ref last week. Yes her shoulders were up and the ref did not see it… but Sasha is only gonna brukk her up again! I gotta rate Alicia for keeping herself relevant though…

Er – what – Alicia Fox won? WHOA!!! I hold my hands up!!!!

Dean Ambrose – The Champion! The Miz – the Challenger! World Wrestling Federation Intercontinetal Championship!

No one’s ever done that! No one has ever kicked out of the Skull Crushing Finale! haha I’m f**k!n with you Miz… your supermove isn’t exactly the Tombstone Piledriver now is it?

GRANT BODY-P!

Maryse tried to teef, and The Miz tried to kick him in his dick…BLOCKED!!! So Ambrose thought – well F**k you! Kick you in your d!ck!!!!

“I thought Miz was trying to hook the inner thigh of Ambrose…” COREY GRAVES DON’T GIVE ME JOKE! A ‘STRONG STYLE INNER THIGH GRAB!!!’

ODB GETTOUTTAHERE

GETTOUTTAHERE!!!!

Oh hell naw – Alexa Bliss – the self proclaimed Goddess… I don’t worship that little pork scratchings!!!! This is the part where I put my pizza in the oven…

I give points where points is due – Alexa Bliss SMASHED THE AUDIENCE! The crowd hitting her with What? Chants during her promo, and Alexa is like ‘Say what again with you are a failure’ and the New Jersey crowd FAILED THE TEST! ‘Exactly!’ New Jersey crowd – YOU ARE A FAILURE! YOU WANNA SLEEP WITH YOUR SISTER LIKE HER NAME IS CERSEI!

Alexa says – Bayley cannot get extreme! Does hugging translate to steel chair shots to the backbone? I guess we gonna find out at the Extreme Rules joint! Alexa gonna lick Bayley down with the kendo stick! OH LAWWWWWWWWWD! I think Bayley gonna cry! Alexa has gone full Harley Quinn! Shout out to everybody getting that Injustice game! I won’t see you online – I’m a Tekken guy!

GRANT BODY-P!

NOW I will put the pizza in the oven…

Unbelivable! The Miz of all people complaining about Deano being teef, and The Miz is one of the biggest TEEFS there is!

Ok – I’m REALLY going to put that pizza in the oven… sorry cruiserweight brothers!

Oh no… CM P**k chants… oh man they REALLY wanna get in Cersei Lannister! Let’s be real – Cersei is fine – she AIN’T MY SISTER!

Cersei Lena headey

Watch STC’s Ed Mulhall try and find nudes of this chick – only to find I have seen her naked ‘sort of’ in Game Of Thrones!

GRANT BODY-P!

(Apparently she was actually pregnant at the time she shot that infamous walk of atonement scene so they got a stunt double…Shame…SHAME! RING THE BELL!)

WHAT? A kendo stick on a pole match for Bayley & Alexa? NO! I think Wardle is right – Vince Russo is back in the creative team! Who let him in?!!!!!

I gotta say I am enjoying RAW this week! Bravo boys and girls! and to think, there’s no Braun Strowman!

Let me watch Finn Balor’s entrance… then I’ll grab my pizza – it should be ready by now!

Oh man… you wrestling fans ain’t gonna like this – a less than 100% Double R defeats Finn Balor in a physical match! In the words of Gordon Ramsay, I say this to you fans… ‘f**k off will ya…’

OH SNAP!!! GOLDUST TURNED EVIL! Looks like Goldust ain’t gonna send any love letters to R-Truth! THE GRANT SAYS – R-Truth – consider yourself lucky! It could have been worse – you could have been Ahmed Johnson!

GRANT BODY-P!

Titus O’Neill is actually giving me joke doing the Enzo routine in a full suit!!!! I’m not too sure if the crowd are chanting ENZO – or @$$Hole?!!! This gig is actually giving Apollo Crews some character! I support this!

Apollo Crews doesn’t take selfies! It’s a female trait! Kick Enzo in his head yes!

I don’t think TJP really wants to be a bad guy… he sure as hell doesn’t act like one… he wants that title – and Neville knows it… keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer right?!

Now that the storylines have slightly changed… does Bray and Finn still have beef? I’m still hoping that the ‘demon king’ appears from out the darkness and assaults Wyatt during this match…

Nope – Samoa Joe – TEEEEEEEF! Is it safe to say that we can automatically take Samoa Joe and Seth Rollins out of the winning equation?! Samoa Joe thought he was going to double team with Wyatt to beat down Rollins – SWITCH – Wyatt hit the Sister Abigail on Joe – BLAOW!!! Wyatt is not someone you make your bredrin! He learnt that after Randall!

GRANT BODY-P!

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1247, April 17, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Right… the Soul N Sports massive n crew – they have something every Monday called ‘Best & Worst of the Weekend. Ok so here’s mine…

Best of the Weekend: Kendrick Lamar album – DAMN! Or more importantly the last tune on the album – DUCKWORTH. HOLY SMOKES WHAT A TUNE! Shout out to Styles P & Talib Kweli who also brought forth a solid offering in ‘The Seven’. Both highly recommended.

Worst Of the Weekend: Some stupid muthaf***a shooting down people while on Facebook live like it’s really funny, and muthaf***az sharing that sh!t like the buzzards that they are. Black people are being killed for no reason by police and this sort of sh!t happens. Vincent Kennedy is right – LIFE’S NOT FAIR! YES LIFE SUCKS…and then you – WHOA!!!!

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RAW 1247! You are still the inferior show! You got Alexa Bliss – NUFF SAID!

Gotta open this up with last week’s MVP and trust me – the WWE Universe will WELCOME Braun Strowman!!!

I guess Double R had to pay a penalty for ‘retiring the Undertaker’! That is something you just don’t do!

Kurt is giving Braun the night off – but Braun wants to f**k up people… OR ELSE! Kurt is like – or else what? Why the f**k isn’t there T-Shirts with that sh!t on it? This monster among men is OVER! And I hate using wrestling terminology – Do I look ike a wrestling nerd to you??!!!

Aaaah sh!t! Braun got the Golden Truth! I’m surprised he didn’t get Finlay and Jamie Noble!

GRANT BODY-P!

Is Kurt afraid of Strowman or something? He sent a flimsy referee to tell him he had the night off!

Sorry Enzo, Wu-Tang Tattoo on your arm but Raw is NOT the realest show in the room. How you doin?

That’s f**ked up – Revival only come the other day and Dash Wilder is out the game already with a fractured jaw? 8 weeks out the game – welcome to the main roster muthaf***a!

(They should have went to Smackdown – the A-show… that would not have happened!)

GRANT BODY-P!

You see that movie White Men Can’t Jump? There is a saying on there I will never forget: ‘When you win, you really lose, and when you lose you really win…’ such is the case for Miz & Maryse – they lost the match at WrestleMania but find themselves on RAW – which WWE claims as the A show but me and you (well some of you) already knew it’s not the case… conversely, Cena and Nikki won the match, but Nikki mashed up her neck again.

Deano is right – Miz looks ridiculous in a maroon suit – But this man right here – The Infamous Informer, would make it look good!

Quote from Miz ‘I wear this because this is what SUPERSTARS look like, but you Dean, you just look like ‘WRESTLERS’…whoa… is that an insult to the IWC????

…and the rivalry has been reignited! The Miz dropped real but annoying talk, but real talk nonetheless – talks about how Deano ‘fell off’, finding himself on pre-show, all sorts of sh!t! Deano is like – I don’t care about all that bright lights and sh!t – I just love this wrestling sh!t! I’ll fight for 20 people, 100,000 people, it ain’t nothing!

Next victim – was that Kalisto who Strowman tried to f**k up? Not before he was intercepted by the Big Show!

They haven’t changed TJ Perkins music! I was looking for that Bowser music… and he’s still doing the ‘dab’… is that what it’s called?

Titus has got the idea! Actually he and Apollo Crews wouldn’t make a bad tag team actually… Crews needs CHARACTER – Titus – you can finally make this so-called brand of yours happen!

Notice I haven’t talked much wrestling? Because quite frankly, I can’t be bothered… until now – Fatal 4 Way #1 contendership for the World Wrestling Federation Women’s grant-body-pChampionship… Mickie James – Sasha Banks – Alexa Bliss – Nia Jax… winner fights Bayley at the Payback joint… once again – backing Nia Jax – a part of me wants Alexa to win so she can get buss arse by Bayley…

Then again a apart of me wants either Nia or Sasha or Mickie to buss Alexa’s arse – I don’t give a f**k if she in her hometown! The commentator just said – Alexa is that chick who would break your heart, break your jaw and you would still look at her on instagram – NO SHE’S NOT!!!! THE GRANT SAYS – I’m on instagram @infamousgrantbodyp – and I don’t wanna look at her b!tch @$$… not when I have women like Rosa Acosta on my instagram!

Rosa Acosta

Who the f**k does Alexa think she is? How is she gonna scream at Sasha – ‘This is my division now!’ This is what I mean – the ratchet has NO MANNERS – she was as good as done in the bank statement, but sh!t – Nia did all the damage and Alexa took advantage and is now through to Payback! Backing Bayley 100%!! Promise me you won’t drop any poems Bayley!!!!!

Do you think Heath Slater watches Curt Hawkins in the back and thinks ‘I’m glad I’m not at the bottom of the barrel anymore?’

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO!!!! Jericho just made a fantastic promo and the Drifter who keeps playing the guitar for no reason just made the list!

Now on to Wyatt… who according to you guys, loses every feud… but check it – what if Wyatt wins back the WWE Championship? Why is Brock Lesnar not scheduled to appear until AFTER Payback?

This ‘House of Horrors’ better be good Wyatt! We don’t have casket matches anymore! Damn…we not gonna have buried alive matches anymore… aah sh!t… I don’t think even I realised how big a retirement from the don of dons really was…

They say Jeff Hardy hasn’t been in a one-on-one match in 8 years. Yes I remember – last time, he was in a championship match against CM Princess Peach B!tch, and Jeff lost the title – if he lost – he had to leave WWE… that’s what happened and CM B!tch run him out the building… I remember cussing at him like – F**K CM P**K! It’s crazy how things change right?

See – I keep it 100 – I was NEVER a CM P**k fan. That was 2009. So you see wrestling fans… my dislike for Mr Brooks dates waaaaaay back…

While Cesaro has his dream match with Jeff Hardy… let’s give a shout out to Angela Yee… that is straight blatant outright teasing right there!

Angela Yee ice cream

Two things – One –  was the mighty RHYNO afraid of Braun Strowman?????

Two – I forgot to mention this earlier – funny how Big Show cussed out Strowman for beating on Kalisto – remember back in the day Big Show used to pick on Rey Mysterio? I suppose he learned his lesson when Mayweather f**ked him up at WrestleMania 24!

GRANT BODY-P!

Once again – The Big Show Vs Braun Strowman – come on guys – BREAK THE RING THIS TIME! One more time – we know The Big Show hasn’t got long left in his career!

Right now, according to you guys – Vincent Kennedy is jerking off until he falls out of his chair!

You mean to tell me Braun Strowman can push over an ambulance but he can’t body slam the Big Show? Oh he suplexed him? Oh ok… carry on…

This is it! HERE WE GO!!!! Or maybe not – counter technique – Strowman jumps off top ropes right into a chokeslam! And Strowman kicks out!

Strowman hits the powerslam supermove and Big Show kicked out! Come on guys – to the top ropes!

HERE WE GO! both guys battling it out! Braun jumps off the top ropes again – this time into a Sean Price punch! Strowman kicked out again! BACKSIDE! Vincent Kennedy must be a mess in the back!!!!

Booker-T said that Big Show would have to send for his big elbow off the top ropes – that was his super move back in the day – but Strowman hit the Superplex AND BRUKK THE RING!!!!! YES!!!! AND STROWMAN IS BACK ON HIS FEET! BUMBACLART!!!!!

Ok – Vincent Kennedy has officially cum. He hasn’t cum like that since he nearly got in Torrie Wilson’s panties back in 2001!

GRANT BODY-P!

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015