The Infamous Informer
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! WHOEVER LOSES, I WIN!!!
Yes John Cena! 15 times World Wrestling Federation Undisputed Champion!!!! It’s the way he won the titles as well, he hardly did anything in the match, he lay down for like 25 minutes in the match… then he dropped his super move on Kane & Randall, climbed the ladder, and the way he smiled at the camera when he took the titles… let’s be real – THAT WAS F**KED UP!!!
Shout out to WWE for ruining the Summerslam main event – John Cena Vs Brock Lesnar for the title…why the rarse did you release the poster before Munny Inna Bank start? But wait guys!!! CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE. But don’t bank on it like the PPV!!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
Enough of that sh!t, we must move on. I got my pringles, my galaxy chocolate cookie crumble, my supermalt, I got strawberry ice cream for later, jaffa cakes… I’m ready for this sh!t, are you??? RAW #1101! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!
Word on the street is there is a returning ‘WWE champion’ in the hiz-house! Uh-oh… I can see the Philippa Brooks fans getting the Vaseline out…. oh jesus…
Uh-oh Triple Teef & Stephanie have a smile on their face… why the f**k is the crowd chanting Phillipa’s name? Yeah stop living in the past like Stephanie said!
Here comes the new World Wrestling Federation Champion! Ok you attitards don’t all rush to the toilet at once! Rub it in their face Cena! 15 times rude boy!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Cena is hoping to give Danny another opportunity to fight for the title! OH NO! Cena is on the cover of WWE2K15!!! It just gets better!!!! Stephanie dropping two foot to Cena’s music! I’m telling you! Stephanie is a hip hop head!!!
But you’re not a hip hop head Triple Teef!!! Don’t talk that hip hop sh!t!!!! HA! HA! HA! Don’t give me joke!
Triple just gave Cena that same choice that Vincent Kennedy asked Austin! You want the easy way or the hard way!
Well the hard way it is! Fatal Four Way jump off at Battleground! Cena Vs Roman Reigns Vs Randall Orton Vs my hero Kane!!! And if Cena becomes superman that night as usual, Triple will draw for his Plan B: Seth Rollins!!!
So after what happened at Munny Inna Bank, maybe Dean Ambrose will go after Kane either somewhere down the road or at Summerslams! Don’t mind me I’m just doing the science…
Word up, I’m gonna tweet Stephanie and ask her what tunes she’s into… don’t believe me? WATCH!
Seth Rollins – I am finding it hard to hate you…. you are still the don! We are treated to another contest with him and RVD!
Who tried to tell me that Seth Rollins Curb Stomp super move was weak? That’s right it was Ian Cooper! GET IN THE CHAIR!!!!!
WROOOOOOOOOY!!!! Everytime Seth Rollins is about to cash his cheque, Dean Ambrose will appear and f**k him up!!! So what if it’s Cody Rhodes Vs Damian Sandow over again from last year….but with more INTENSITY and more MILITANT!!
UH-OH!!! here comes Rusev!!!! Fly that flag in celebration! Rusev – don’t you have thought of f**k!n Lana??? You must do surely!
Who will be America’s next failure??? OH NO! It’s that bastard Swagger and Zeb Colter! They represent everything about America and go against muthaf**az crossing the borders!
Is it me or is Lana laughing at Zeb Colter’s promo?
I guess Colter has thrown away his deportation list! He sees the big picture! Don’t think for one single SOLITARY SECOND that I will support Colter & Swagger just because they just turned face. They still disrespect MY PEOPLE! We The People? The Grant Says ‘WE, THE TIMBERLAND BOOT UP YOUR B!TCH @$$!!!’
The Usos entrance gotta be one of my favourites right now! Everything they say comes from the heart and then the pyro – BLAOW!!! Not only will they be in WWE 2K15, but hopefully The Wyatt Family’s entrance with the audience with their cell phones on! Big up to Jerry Lawler telling JAY-BEE to put his phone down!
Haha! You jabronies may not like JAY-BEE & Mike Cole not calling the match but instead talking about the dirty clothes of Luke Harper…BUT I DO… so F**K YOU!
I’ve come to the conclusion that this ‘Whole World In His Hands’ thing depends on the crowd. See in certain cities they will sing that sh!t!!!! Other cities they are as dead as Fandango when I get my hands on him for kissing up my Layla!
Damn Nikki, they treating you bad because Brie sacrificed herself??? You gotta fight my girls by yourself? Oh well Nikki… good luck!!!
Since you jabronies have started sh!tt!ng on the WWE2K15 cover… maybe I should join in and see what it’s like to be a IWC b!atch… maybe Bo Dallas should be on the cover!!! I mean, he inspires millions the world over! All you gotta do is BO-LIEVE DAMNIT!
I’ll tell you this – Total Divas Season 3 gonna be MAAAAD if Stephanie and Brie’s storyline gets involved in the script!
Why have I got this feeling that Nikki WILL WIN this handicap match because Miss Girl Bye-Bye is acting a fool??? Oh forget it… They won but Miss Girl Bye-Bye is still acting a fool. What happened to U.N.I.T.Y. ladies?
Well ain’t that a b!tch… I’M AFRAID I GOT SOME BAD NEWS… Wade Barrett out the game with a shoulder injury… the Intercontinental championship is vacant. Shadfather says The I.C. Title is cursed, Mia Bonita says SmackDown is cursed, THE GRANT SAYS WADE BARRETT WAS CURSED EVER SINCE HE BURIED THE UNDERTAKER ALIVE IN 2010!!! You see? If Undertaker doesn’t get you in the physical, he’ll get you in the mental and spiritual. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Battle Royal jump off at Battleground for the Intercontinental Title… Well The Grant Says I have a feeling who is gonna win that… I’m gonna hold my tongue for now.
You what? Kofi Kingston defeated Cesaro during the commercial break? Now we back on and Cesaro beating down de black man? RACIAL MAN RACIAL!!!!!
This is f**ked up – is it because Cesaro knows Switzerland are gonna get knocked out the World Cup? Nah man – I like my Cesaro but Kofi has to go postal and beat down Cesaro like he did Randall!
YES! VINCENT KENNEDY!!!! Er wait a minute… that’s not VINCENT KENNEDY!!! That’s SANDOW KENNEDY! Oh hell naw!!! Hang on his impression might be good…
Oh dear Stephanie is not too happy!!!! She gonna send someone after Sandow for impersonating Vincent Kennedy…. NOT THE NOT SO GREAT KHALI!!! And he won as well! OH MY GOD NO! One chop to Sandow’s head top – BLAOW! Shadfather turn your head! I think he did quite well! What’s up Steph? Time of the month? You need some Infamous cocky with those vitamins girl???!!!
The former WWE Champion is here! The Miz!!! Thank you Felix Pizarro for spoiling it for us! GET IN THE CHAIR!!!
He was filming The Marine 4? Wait a minute – wasn’t Summer Rae in that film too? And I’m sure he’s taking shots at The Rock here talking about Hollywood and turning his back… sounds like The Miz is embodying that role again! He’s out to main event WrestleMania…. boring….boring…bor-
BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!!!! BUMBACLART!!!! JERICHO???!!!!! LAWD HAVE MERCY!!!! Not one, but TWO former WWE Champions! How I laugh at one of the guys on Perfect Plex Radio who said Jericho was out with Fozzy… you can NEVER believe anything Jericho says!
Yeah talk sh!t now Miz – PPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! Jericho just punched the Miz through school buses!
HOLD UP!!!! The Wyatt Man dem!!!! They just brukk up Jericho!!! This is gonna be an EPIC storyline! Suddenly I am looking forward to Battleground! Money In The What???? In one fell swoop, RAW is BETTER than the PPV!
Now time for my baby girl Layla doing her ting! Forget about Fandumbgay – I’ll F**K HIM UP! WWE book it – Fandumb!tch@$$ Vs the Infamous Informer at Summerslam!
Now the ponce is fighting another ponce in Dolph Ziggler… say what? Summer Rae offered a truce to Layla??? I don’t like the smell of Summer Rae’s pum-pum…black man loves his fried fish but not if it’s rancid as Summer Rae!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
WTF is this??? Now Summer Rae is sticking her tongue down Ziggler’s throat???? URRRRGHHH DIRTY RATCHET!
See I said that this Stardust and Goldust was just a phase leading to the Summerslam Rhodes clash… but I dunno… because they are over with the crowd! I saw this match with them and Rybaxel on Munny Inna Bank, so I ain’t watching it again f**k that!
One thing worth noting – why are the crowd chanting FEED ME MORE at Ryback now???
Why do Goldust and Stardust look like they are in love with each other? I suppose you’re all off the hook Razor Ramon, Piper and especially Ahmed Johnson!
Are there still haters on Paige saying she should go back to NXT? BACKFOOT!!! AJ LEE IS BACK TOO??? MONEY IN THE WHAT???!!!
You mean to tell me that AJ Lee returns and all you b!tches can chant is CM Punk??? You wait til I go on radio… that’s all I’m saying!!!
Backside – we gonna get a rematch! AJ LEE! PAIGE! DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH! HERE WE GO!!!
AND IT’S ALL OVER!!! SMALL PACKAGE DEFEATS PAIGE!!! AJ LEE – NEW DIVAS CHAMPION!!!! DROP THE BOMB ON EM!!!
Can you believe that after all we just seen, we have come to the main event! And that Triple TEEF is at ringside! There might be a sledgehammer nearby watch out!
Look at Roman Reigns embracing the audience and that Triple TEEF looking at him!!! It’s almost like Triple Vs The Rock all over again!
UH-OH!!! my hero Kane is out to destroy Cena! So that Seth can cash his cheque! Tombstone Cena into the concrete – BLAOW! But don’t forget – Ambrose WILL f**k up Seth! REMEMBER ME TELL YUH!
LOOK W’HAPPEN NOW! Ambrose came to brukk him up! But then Reigns with the spear to Kane again – BLAOW! Then the stare down between Reigns and the evil, EVIL, TRIPLE TEEF!!!! THIS IS AWESOME? THIS IS MUTHAF***K!N DAN! Like I could live through Roman Reigns warrioristically, I don’t give a damn if that word don’t exist! The road to Summerslam has begun people!
OFFICIAL STC THEME TUNE FOR WWE BATTLEGROUND 2014!
GRANT BODY – P!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.